MONO MONO! ... D'oh!

February 13, 2008 9:24 AM

I'm starting to think that this thread on the Detroit monorail is weird joke/hoax, and it best is just a poor FPP since it's mostly just a collection of wikipedia links with no actually recent news stories or government/corporate press releases. Can it please go away before the Detroiters get home from work and go into a tizzy?
posted by patr1ck to Etiquette/Policy at 9:24 AM (64 comments total)

I took the bait too, but 517's comment that he wasn't able to find any offical documents related to this is kinda what made me realize it's probably a joke or ... something.
posted by patr1ck at 9:25 AM on February 13, 2008

517's comment.
posted by patr1ck at 9:25 AM on February 13, 2008

The first line of that post is outright false.
posted by smackfu at 9:27 AM on February 13, 2008

It's not a monorail, it's a maglev. And yes, it's pure horsepuckey.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:28 AM on February 13, 2008

A hoax? Really? And I had my TCP/IP all setup and ready to communicate with it. Oh well.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:42 AM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

But the People Mover is real, I tell you! Real!
posted by The World Famous at 9:45 AM on February 13, 2008

There's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!
posted by item at 9:51 AM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw.
posted by False Dichotomy at 9:56 AM on February 13, 2008 [5 favorites]

I'm starting to think that this thread on the Detroit monorail is weird joke/hoax

I'm not surprised. I've been checking in The Lives of The Saints, and I can find no mention anywhere of St. Ballbag.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:59 AM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

Monorail.

Maglev.

Get it straight people!
posted by wfrgms at 10:02 AM on February 13, 2008

And as I scrolled down to the sweet spot, it was all simultaneously visible. The blazing synchronized lighting of the tower gif rained down in symmetrical fury next to the single question blinking inquisition. Directly above that, the banner pumped me full of the four non-blondes future - better, cleaner, safer, faster, more! Click-n-fil trees whizzed by a rapidly typing business person, getting so much work done they would instantly retire upon arrival at their destination. The gear wheels turned, the 22 points of interest flared out from a light bulb that stayed as solidly still as Lady Liberty herself. And oh the bouncing green playdoh question mark loomed in the bottom right corner. What did it mean? What would it take me to?

No, my friends, you shall not delete this. This is the best, the very best of the web.
posted by cashman at 10:02 AM on February 13, 2008 [4 favorites]

I usually like stbalbach's work. But four Wiki links and a site whose news section was last updated in 2006? There's no there there.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:10 AM on February 13, 2008

right right, maglev, sorry.

I just think if you're going to make a joke-y post about a (admittedly hilariously ugly) maglev website, it should not try to appear as though it is a real news item, at least not without a certain level of sarcasm.
posted by patr1ck at 10:13 AM on February 13, 2008

The next person whose comment is solely a reference to Simpsons episode 9F10 ("Marge vs. the Monorail") will receive a scathing MefiMail.

You've been warned.
posted by Plutor at 10:14 AM on February 13, 2008

My favorite is the heading at the top of the left column that reads 'Navigation Bar'.
posted by ulotrichous at 10:15 AM on February 13, 2008

The next person whose comment is solely a reference to Simpsons episode 9F10 ("Marge vs. the Monorail") will receive a scathing MefiMail.

You've been warned.
D'Oh!
posted by False Dichotomy at 10:16 AM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

I call the big one Bitey.

Er, something like that...haven't seen that episode in years.
posted by slogger at 10:17 AM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

What about us brain-dead slobs?
posted by item at 10:20 AM on February 13, 2008

you'll all get cushy jobs.
posted by ShawnString at 10:23 AM on February 13, 2008

Conan O'Brien wrote that episode. It is the best one.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:25 AM on February 13, 2008

False. You Only Move Twice is the best episode.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:34 AM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

A monorail would be a good idea for Detroit, though. It could put them on the map just like monorails did for Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrooke.
posted by burnmp3s at 10:36 AM on February 13, 2008

Levitatorial viking.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:41 AM on February 13, 2008

Isn't there a Simpsons episode about a monorail?
(ok, I'm nowhere near innocent when it comes to Simpsons references)

Can we just make a MetaTalk thread for every maglev/monorail/elevated train/escalator to nowhere post from now on to contain the jokes?
posted by ALongDecember at 10:50 AM on February 13, 2008

A solar eclipse...the cosmic ballet continues.
posted by cowbellemoo at 10:59 AM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Can it please go away before the Detroiters get home from work and go into a tizzy? "

C'mon. Detroiters don't have jobs. That's why they need the Maglev.
posted by klangklangston at 11:06 AM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Will the last person out of that thread please turn out the lights?
posted by ALongDecember at 11:12 AM on February 13, 2008

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

checking inbox...
posted by puritycontrol at 11:15 AM on February 13, 2008

The next person whose comment is solely a reference to Simpsons episode 9F10 ("Marge vs. the Monorail") will receive a scathing MefiMail.

You've been warned.
posted by Plutor at 1:14 PM on February 13

Wasn't there actually a rule about this around here, that you shouldn't post comments that are jokes or lines from TV and movies? I seem to recall The Simpsons being mentioned by name.
posted by Pastabagel at 11:27 AM on February 13, 2008

Was this post sent here by the devil?
posted by never used baby shoes at 11:30 AM on February 13, 2008

No, good n.u.b.s., it's on the level!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 11:36 AM on February 13, 2008

Wow, 31 comments already?

I shouldn't've stopped for that haircut.
posted by box at 11:39 AM on February 13, 2008

posted by Mister_A at 11:39 AM on February 13, 2008

^^secret Futurama comment^^
posted by Mister_A at 11:39 AM on February 13, 2008

Interesting, Mister_A! No, wait--the other thing. Tedious.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:50 AM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

But the comments are still all snarky and from Lokken.
posted by never used baby shoes at 11:55 AM on February 13, 2008

That's ok, the cabal has spoken.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:58 AM on February 13, 2008

Damn...I meant "Sorry, Nubs..."
posted by Burhanistan at 11:58 AM on February 13, 2008

Good news, everyone!
posted by shmegegge at 12:20 PM on February 13, 2008

FRY: This is a great, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus. Heh heh.
LEELA: I don't get it.
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
FRY: Oh. What's it called now?
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH: Urectum.
posted by Mister_A at 12:31 PM on February 13, 2008

"'Can it please go away before the Detroiters get home from work and go into a tizzy? '

C'mon. Detroiters don't have jobs."

Or homes.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:36 PM on February 13, 2008

Remember that suggestion to have Talk pages for every MetaFilter post, like Wikipedia? This is that.
posted by smackfu at 12:49 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

A collection of wikipedia links and one terrible website does not a good post make.

I hate when people say stuff like that, but it's true.
posted by !Jim at 12:58 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

My prior comment should have included this link.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:01 PM on February 13, 2008

I still haven't received my scathing mail from Plutor. I'm sure I'll get one, though, and that it'll be perfectly cromulent.
posted by item at 1:11 PM on February 13, 2008

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Oh wait... I'm confusing musical numbers, aren't I.
posted by not_on_display at 1:30 PM on February 13, 2008

I . . . . . dooooooooooooooo!
posted by brain_drain at 1:43 PM on February 13, 2008

Wasn't there actually a rule about this around here, that you shouldn't post comments that are jokes or lines from TV and movies?

I don't wanna rain on your crazy parade, buddy, but I don't think we can fix this thing.
posted by quin at 2:05 PM on February 13, 2008

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
posted by False Dichotomy at 2:07 PM on February 13, 2008

I, for one, welcome our new television show-quoting overlords death.
posted by flashboy at 3:10 PM on February 13, 2008

Go away! There ain't no monorail, and there never was!
posted by evilcolonel at 3:23 PM on February 13, 2008

Death is a devastatingly handsome man in a dull gray suit.
posted by False Dichotomy at 3:23 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Death is a devastatingly handsome man in a dull gray suit.

Well, that's two things we have in common, I guess. What's your point?
posted by The World Famous at 3:25 PM on February 13, 2008

Just pointing him out for flashboy. Wouldn't want him welcoming pestilence by mistake.
posted by False Dichotomy at 3:31 PM on February 13, 2008

Good point. I'm always welcoming the wrong things because of wardrobe misunderstandings.
posted by The World Famous at 3:33 PM on February 13, 2008

You want news? Here's some damn topical news (from 2006)

Cut-price Chinese Maglev plan sparks controversy
posted by KokuRyu at 4:48 PM on February 13, 2008

Oh boy. Now look what you've gone and done:
http://digg.com/environment/Solar_Hydrogen_Power_Interstate_Rail_coming_to_MI
posted by patr1ck at 5:01 PM on February 13, 2008

Reading the icky Digg comments made me appreciate MetaFilter more than ever. MORE THAN EVER.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:10 PM on February 13, 2008

MetaFilter is a superb YouTube/Wikipedia aggregator.
posted by mlis at 8:15 PM on February 13, 2008

The ring came off of my pudding can...
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:30 PM on February 13, 2008

Detroit sucks.
posted by joe lisboa at 3:48 AM on February 14, 2008

You don't scare me; that could be anyone's ass!
posted by cowbellemoo at 8:24 AM on February 14, 2008

Use my penknife my good man...
posted by Frank Grimes at 4:46 PM on February 14, 2008

Grimey!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:00 AM on February 15, 2008