Sideblog snaps and props August 4, 2008 5:27 AM   Subscribe

Oh snap, I made the sideblog.. I'm relatively new here, so it's a bit of an honor for me to be selected for the sideblog for my recent MuFi post..

I don't know how these things are selected, but thanks to whoever is involved!
posted by mediocre to MetaFilter-Related at 5:27 AM (139 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Congrats! I just listened to that song and enjoyed it.

It is tradition that everyone that gets added to the sidebar has to buy a round for everybody.
posted by chillmost at 5:33 AM on August 4, 2008


Congratulations, mediocre!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:34 AM on August 4, 2008


Hey, cortex, I sent this one to MY mom. Now I think you're going to have to man up. Otherwise, well... you should know whats coming.

Though, I also did send my mom to meatspin. (nsfw)
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 5:36 AM on August 4, 2008


I don't know how these things are selected...

There is no cabal.

But, just out of curiosity, is this the first time a MeFiMu song has been sidebarred? Or, if not, is it the first time a non-cortex song has been sidebarred?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:43 AM on August 4, 2008


Rocked, thanks. Apart from all the pandering to the PC crowd.

*ducks behind Macintosh*
posted by Wolof at 5:46 AM on August 4, 2008


I seem to remember Mathowie's Community Blog being featured on the sidebar. Non-cortex, though, I don't recall anything either.

Man, I can't wait until the NSA impounds my computer and then finds a text file with my transcribed dick-punching lyrics.
posted by danb at 6:00 AM on August 4, 2008


That was great. As DecemberBoy said, "I punched God in the dick, I punched Mary in the dick, I punched Jesus Christ in the dick" is a great line (and "I punched Powell in the colon" made me laugh).

Now buy us all a drink!
posted by languagehat at 6:27 AM on August 4, 2008


It's an awesome song, and here's to MORE SIDEBAR-WORTHY SONGS!
posted by Jofus at 6:27 AM on August 4, 2008


I'll buy drinks when this thing goes viral and I'm given a major label deal, until then it's municipal tap water on the house.
posted by mediocre at 6:33 AM on August 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


And by "the house" I mean your house, and by your house I mean your sink. And glass. And effort in retrieving the water.
posted by mediocre at 6:35 AM on August 4, 2008 [5 favorites]


you are new and still managed to secure that name?

damn, do I feel mediocre now.
posted by krautland at 6:49 AM on August 4, 2008


But, just out of curiosity, is this the first time a MeFiMu song has been sidebarred? Or, if not, is it the first time a non-cortex song has been sidebarred?

Nope, and nope; however, the blogger.com search interface is incredibly weaksauce and I don't feel like plowing through several hundred entries by hand looking for citations, so you'll have to take my word for it for now.

Shouting out a great song on the sidebar is something we could probably stand to do more often, though the podcast nods have been a nice way to approach that as well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:55 AM on August 4, 2008


Shouting out a great song on the sidebar is something we could probably stand to do more often...

Absitively posolutely.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:09 AM on August 4, 2008


And agreed about the podcast nods, too.

The long and short is that MeFi Music is HERE, folks, a bona fide part of the site, and all y'all MeFiers oughtta stop by more often!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:11 AM on August 4, 2008


I think the real question is, is this the first time a Juggalo has been featured on the MeFi sidebar?

I kid! A little.

"And the winners in all the gladiator arenas are always the ones that go straight for the penis!"

posted by uncleozzy at 7:17 AM on August 4, 2008


Thank you for side-barring this. I've never heard anything like it, so--yay for experiencing new stuff.

flapjax, MeMu was HERE ever since it launched--you guys are a real talented bunch, you are!
posted by hadjiboy at 7:21 AM on August 4, 2008


That was wonderful. Also wonderful was sleevener's comment: "This song punched my ears in the dick."
posted by flashboy at 7:23 AM on August 4, 2008


Yeah, the song is brilliant. I stumbled upon on the #mefi link log where it was mentioned by cortex IIRC.
posted by sveskemus at 7:37 AM on August 4, 2008


Good sidebar. If you're going to listen to one song about punching someone in the dick this year, this is the one.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:42 AM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Congratulations! I always forget about Music -- sometimes for the better part of a year at a stretch -- and this is a great way to be reminded of it.

"Oh snap,..."

I've been seeing this all over the place lately. A friend's eleven year old daughter exclaims it randomly. What does it mean? Where'd it erupt from?
posted by majick at 8:00 AM on August 4, 2008


Hey, what's up with the mediocre stuff in the sidebar?
Fun tune, thanks!

Where'd it erupt from?

The streets, majick. The streets.
*Poses tough*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:06 AM on August 4, 2008


"Oh snap" means, approximately, "ice buuuuuurn" or possibly "DAMN, son" or on occasion "pwn3d". Flavor for preferred social context and dialect.

I like to think of it as being the sort of post-modern act of describing verbally the act of snapping one's fingers, which act itself then carries all the same implications of having observed the leveraging of a situation by one party over the other discursively, and shit.

I'm pretty sure it's something like decades old at this point, and presumably started as black slang, but I have absolutely nothing to back that up with. The OED has actually pretty tremendous writeups for "snap" (in n., v., and a. forms), including some stuff that one could argue might have an etymological role in the current usage, such as...

6. A curt or sharp speech or manner of speaking; an angry dispute.

1648 HEXHAM II, Een Snap, a Snap, or a Taunt. 1745 MRS. DELANY Life & Corr. (1861) II. 395 The least disapprobation, or snap, from the person I wish to oblige. 1760-2 GOLDSM. Cit. W. lxxiv, The moment I ventured to speak I was at once contradicted with a snap. 1859 Habits of Gd. Society vii. 245 ‘Beg your pardon,’ answered Tibbs, with a sharp snap, which makes the words sound like ‘Don't be a fool!’ 1897 W. BEATTY Secretar 254 It was while I was watching this game..that we had a bit snap with one another.
...but that's probably stretching it an awful lot.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:26 AM on August 4, 2008


majick writes "I've been seeing this all over the place lately. A friend's eleven year old daughter exclaims it randomly. What does it mean? Where'd it erupt from?"

It's just an exclamation like "Oh, No". It's been popularized in part by the Joy character on My Name is Earl.
posted by Mitheral at 8:31 AM on August 4, 2008


Hell yeah, this was a great choice for the sidebar!

And it just led to a wonderfully surreal moment as I was listening to it through my headphones, and I was watching a couple of co-workers talking, and for just a second it seemed like their lips were matching up with the lyrics. So I was able to imagine them, standing their, in their business casual khakis and polo-shirts, smiling affably, and calmly chatting the lines "punch 'em in the dick" to each other.

Which, let's be frank, is probably far more interesting that what they actually were saying.

*adds song to personal soundtrack*
posted by quin at 8:47 AM on August 4, 2008


Here's what Wordorigins had to say about "oh snap" (not much). Too bad Grant Barrett hasn't dealt with it.
posted by languagehat at 8:56 AM on August 4, 2008


Seriously - this is regarded as superior music? The best that MuFi has to offer? To my ear it has a repetitive beat that will stick in my head [like some advert jingle], but it isn't the kind of sound and lyric I'd want to have swirling around, over and over (as it does). The lyrics are objectionable and are not sung very prettily. What happened to violins and meliflous voices?
'Dick punch'? How abount 'Cunt punch'.
posted by tellurian at 9:05 AM on August 4, 2008


The lyrics are objectionable and are not sung very prettily. What happened to violins and meliflous voices?

Not everything that is good in music is violins and melifluous voices. Please understand that I'm not trying to be the least bit mean when I say this, but: I have no idea if you are kidding.

Here's what Wordorigins had to say about "oh snap" (not much).

Not much indeed. Hrm.

Jonathan Lethem puts it in a couple of characters' mouths back to the late 70s in Fortress of Solitude, but I'm not sure I'm comfortably citing flashbacks in novels as a reliable source for usage.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:12 AM on August 4, 2008


"Oh, snap!" has been around for a long long time, it just took a while to enter the Disney Channel zone realm of acceptability.

There is a hilarious Smeigel (Smiegel?) cartoon where Ray Lewis witnesses various atrocities and exclaims, "Oh snap! I di'n't see nothin'!" before getting back into his limo–and "Oh snap!" was old when that came out. It's an early-mid '80s East Coast rapper thing, I believe.
posted by Mister_A at 9:13 AM on August 4, 2008


Here it is. It's actually a lot funnier than I remember.
posted by Mister_A at 9:16 AM on August 4, 2008


That was excellent. Just goes to show it takes a MeTatalk post to direct my attention to the sidebar to direct my attention to MuFi but I'm glad it did.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:29 AM on August 4, 2008


It's just an exclamation like "Oh, No"
The OED has actually pretty tremendous writeups for "snap"...

Thanks for that. Don't let me derail, carry on with mocking the lawn-offget guy instead!
posted by majick at 9:30 AM on August 4, 2008


Seriously - this is regarded as superior music?

Haha.. when this started getting all sorts of popular in the last couple hours or so I started thinking.. Oh no.. now the uber erudite MeFites are going to launch an attack against my low class art and declare the ever-increasing Favorite count as a benchmark of MeFi's intellectual decline..

Fuck it though, if they can't take a joke, punch 'em in the dick.
posted by mediocre at 9:34 AM on August 4, 2008 [8 favorites]


I think I just sprained myself.
posted by scrump at 9:34 AM on August 4, 2008


Also, that was wicked mellifluous.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:40 AM on August 4, 2008


Please understand that I'm not trying to be the least bit mean when I say this, but: I have no idea if you are kidding.
I insist that violins and mellifluous voices are necessary.
10CC and "I'm not in love" is empirical evidence.
I didn't know that mellifluous has two l's. It seems extraneods.
I should probably sleep now.
Goodnight.
posted by tellurian at 9:44 AM on August 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


Is this what people are talking about when they say "boyzone"?
posted by nola at 10:00 AM on August 4, 2008


"Oh, snap!" was in use when I was a kid, with the same meaning. I remember it from junior high and high school, which would put it in the 1970s. I seem to recall the black kids saying it first, then it moved into general use over the next few years, and to me it seemed like brand new slang but if cortex and the OED say it dates back to the 1600s, who am I to argue?
posted by Quietgal at 10:09 AM on August 4, 2008


I insist that violins and mellifluous voices are necessary.

In that case, my friend, I have got just the album for you. And you'd better act now because I've only got 200-some copies left in my apartment!
posted by ludwig_van at 10:10 AM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh snap
snaps and props


This must stop. Right now.
posted by iconomy at 10:17 AM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I first heard "Oh, snap" as a NYC kid in 1985. It was pretty much interchangeable with "burn!", i.e. "never has anyone laid bare the vic's foibles so expertly, cuz."
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 10:17 AM on August 4, 2008


Is this what people are talking about when they say "boyzone"?

But you ain't gotta be a dude, shit I'd dick-punch a chick
Cause I don't discriminate when I punch 'em in the dick

posted by danb at 10:22 AM on August 4, 2008


I didn't know that mellifluous has two l's.

Don't look now, but it actually has three.
posted by languagehat at 10:49 AM on August 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


and pretty soon it will have 5, then 8, then 13.
posted by mrzarquon at 11:08 AM on August 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


This must stop. Right now.

Word.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:15 AM on August 4, 2008


If the violin part is really frickin' hot, it can end up being melligaseous.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:25 AM on August 4, 2008


I seem to remember Mathowie's Community Blog being featured on the sidebar. Non-cortex, though, I don't recall anything either.

To be fair this song was By IRFH and Arlo Guthrie. Cortex and I merely performed the material they so generously provided.

and anyone who says different will be punched in the dick
posted by French Fry at 11:43 AM on August 4, 2008


Bone-stupid ad nauseum guitar track notwithstanding, my role was more producer/engineer/cheerleader/yeller-at-brother than performer, in truth. "No, dude, it's pronounced KWON-sahr." "You fucked up RFID, let's back up and take it again." "Scotch?" That sort of thing.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:50 AM on August 4, 2008


Should SLYT get all the ingenuity? What if snap is an acronym? Simple Notation About Perturbation?
posted by Cranberry at 11:54 AM on August 4, 2008


So I was able to imagine them, standing their, in their business casual khakis and polo-shirts, smiling affably, and calmly chatting the lines "punch 'em in the dick" to each other.

And you've got your music video right there, mediocre. Just the most mundane and boring people and settings imaginable, calmly and casually lip syncing the lyrics. Soccer moms signing to their kids, the elderly singing to their nurses, bank tellers singing to their customers, airport security workers singing to themselves as they scan baggage, and corporate drones singing to each other at the water cooler. Genius.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:12 PM on August 4, 2008 [5 favorites]


Oh snap! origins.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:32 PM on August 4, 2008


That is a really good idea.
posted by amery at 12:32 PM on August 4, 2008


Hey, this led me to find the zombie rap! I think I heart you.
posted by KAS at 12:39 PM on August 4, 2008


Oh snap! origins.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:32 PM on August 4


Yeah, my answer in that thread is still the most correct. Oh Snap, means "Oh Shit" with a specific connotation of "You just got your card pulled sucker!", but it's totally fine to use it to mean: Oh Shit or Damn. I also like the alternate, "Oh Dip!"
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:08 PM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


At the time that's what it meant (don't dickpunch me languagehat) now I'm sure it means something that I don't care about.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:09 PM on August 4, 2008


don't dickpunch me languagehat

Oh great, now we're getting into the Cockney Rhyming Slang.

No, I do not want to pick up your fluffy cat.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:14 PM on August 4, 2008


Awesome song that I wouldn't have stumbled across without this thread/sidebar. Well, I probably would have eventually noticed the sidebar. I guess I like to think that this thread came to be purely so that a fibonacci numbers related joke could be made. Oh, and for the image of the clown spider.
posted by Stunt at 1:14 PM on August 4, 2008


Four Wheel Sherman Tank.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:20 PM on August 4, 2008


Oh Snap!
posted by empath at 1:21 PM on August 4, 2008


And you've got your music video right there, mediocre. Just the most mundane and boring people and settings imaginable, calmly and casually lip syncing the lyrics. Soccer moms signing to their kids, the elderly singing to their nurses, bank tellers singing to their customers, airport security workers singing to themselves as they scan baggage, and corporate drones singing to each other at the water cooler. Genius.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:12 PM on August 4


I spent the last two hours trying to dig this out of my brain, but if it was shot like these two, it would work really well, especially if they kept it more dead pan the entire time.

Mediocre- I actually have a friend who would like to do something with this, if it is OK by you.
posted by mrzarquon at 1:38 PM on August 4, 2008


mrzarquon - Anyone who wants to make the effort is more then welcome to make a video, just give credit where it's due and give me a link when it's done..
posted by mediocre at 2:03 PM on August 4, 2008


After some digging I've come to realize that the tag "ballspunchuppercut" is woefully underused both here and on the internet as a whole.

I must rectify this.
posted by quin at 2:06 PM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Surely there was a perfectly serviceable thread over at MeMu for this? So, you made a song a few folk like (and there's no accounting for taste) and for some reason, it gets sidebarred.... Now you think you deserve a MetaTalk post about it too? Let's just rename the whole shebang "Me(diocre)Fi" and be fucking done with it...
posted by benzo8 at 2:36 PM on August 4, 2008


"Hi, longtime listener, first time caller here, I'd like to make a request... "
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:39 PM on August 4, 2008


Also, you have bad hair! Die in a fire!
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:47 PM on August 4, 2008


*punches benzo8 in the dick*
posted by sveskemus at 2:53 PM on August 4, 2008


"Oh Snap" was first popularized by Biz Markie via his track "Just a Friend" in the late 80s.

It could have been existing street slang of the time that he appropriated, but generally he is the one now credited with its invention.
posted by First Post at 3:20 PM on August 4, 2008


Now you think you deserve a MetaTalk post about it too?

Not everybody deserves a hug, either, but...

Seriously, the thought of somehow meritocratizing MeTa has me breathless with laughter.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:01 PM on August 4, 2008


That song is delightful.
posted by Nattie at 4:05 PM on August 4, 2008


"Oh Snap" was first popularized by Biz Markie via his track "Just a Friend" in the late 80s.
Yeah, not with people who lived in New York City at the time, but mazel tov. This comes from someone who personally has had several strange and wonderful interactions with Biz.
posted by Divine_Wino at 4:50 PM on August 4, 2008


Yeah, not with people who lived in New York City at the time

Ah, I figured as much. That's why I qualified it with the other sentence you didn't quote ;P

Would love to hear any tales of the Biz you'd be kind enough to share!
posted by First Post at 5:22 PM on August 4, 2008


After I posted this AskMeFi question, I worried that people would think me unduly vulgar.

Little did I expect the terminology, or its variant, to end up being "sideblogged".
posted by Tube at 5:24 PM on August 4, 2008



Ah, I figured as much. That's why I qualified it with the other sentence you didn't quote ;P


The authority with which you made your statement amused me in direct correlation with the degree to which it was totally just made up. Biz likes sugar cereal, chips and lying about his huge record collection, which is totally huge, he just likes lying about it.
posted by Divine_Wino at 5:48 PM on August 4, 2008


"Oh, snap!" is old on the East Coast now. By old, I mean, "at least a month," of course, because the tweens go through these fads so fast. But it really is passe' here. My oldest son has replaced it with an annoyed, disbelieving, "The DUTCH!" Why? I have no idea.

Great song. More songs on sidebar = goodness.
posted by misha at 5:53 PM on August 4, 2008


Is he trying to say "What the deuce?" That became popular a few years ago because of Family Guy, but now Family Guy sucks and everything related to it sucks.
posted by Science! at 6:08 PM on August 4, 2008


Hey First Post, I realize all of a sudden that I sound (to myself) kind of like a dick in what I wrote to you, which is not what I wanted, sorry.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:34 PM on August 4, 2008


I just watched Stepbrothers and now I really want "boats and hoes" to catch on and become part of the popular lexicon.

Boats and hoes, man. Boats and hoes.

Dick-punching is even better. Anyone who says otherwise, I'mma punch 'em in the dick.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:53 PM on August 4, 2008


Boats and hoes, man.

Man, that song was one of about one things I liked about that movie. I really wanted to punch that movie in the dick.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:05 PM on August 4, 2008


i've always had the impression that Ricky Powell is the originator of Oh snap! as you alluded to (but didn't state directly) in your comment in that other thread, D_W.

and that that was why his photo book was titled that -- he was indelibly associated with the phrase. in fact, wasn't his column in 'grand royal' magazine called Oh Snap!? and it was all jokes like this one: "I love poseurs who front like they have 'the kind' and then show up with some Haystacks Calhoun fart dust."
posted by Hat Maui at 8:06 PM on August 4, 2008


Somehow I remembered the Powell lyric as "I'll punch Colin in the bowels." Same thing really, I guess.

Loved "Scrotum? Hell, I damn near killed 'em!"
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:15 PM on August 4, 2008


...it's a bit of an honor for me to be selected for the sideblog...

A bit of an honor? A BIT? Son, that's the highest honor any MeFier can ever hope to achieve. The full import of this obviously hasn't sunk in, yet. But you'll see: from now on, wherever you travel, a local committee of MeFiers will await your arrival, and greet you with warm hospitality. They will then present you with "welcome baskets", overflowing with useful items and discount coupons from local businesses.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:21 PM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love you Hat Maui, is it cool if I say that? I love you.

No, Oh Snap precedes the Rickster context-wise, as far as I know, but goddamn me if I don't love you just about to death Hat Maui.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:28 PM on August 4, 2008


*blushes, is confused*
posted by Hat Maui at 10:15 PM on August 4, 2008


Nah it's all good, Divine_Wino.

You might find it amusing where a Wikipedia search for "oh snap" redirects to (Wikipedia of course being the final and unquestioned authority on everything, haha). That article does note your point that many of his claims might be questionable at best, though. In any case, he arguably did the most to popularize the term outside the area, with his big hit single and all. I doubt MC Hammer was the first to come up with "it's all good" either, but that's a different-if-not-dissimilar story :)

(Heh, I remember a few years ago when several net factions warred angrily over which of them had invented the term "cool beans")

Oh, and I got a kick out of the cockpunch song which was the original subject of this thread btw...
posted by First Post at 11:33 PM on August 4, 2008


I don't want to sound self aggrandizing or anything here..

But I'm looking at the stats for the most playlisted and favorited tracks ever on MuMeFi, although I'm certainly not anywhere near the top of the All Time Playlisted or Favorited tracks on MuMe, the individual listens of any All Time top ten does not exceed 300.

"Punch 'Em In The Dick" is currently at 717 plays.

I think we may be seeing the start of something viral, let's see if it has legs past the first 24 hours of hitting the front page..
posted by mediocre at 2:03 AM on August 5, 2008


...let's see if it has legs past the first 24 hours of hitting the front page..

Yeah, sure kid, you keep an eye on it. You do that. You watch as that initial burst of interest and enthusiasm fades. You watch as the plays dry up, as your letters to record companies go unanswered. As your dreams of stardom (or even a decent living) wither like an unwatered vine. As the bright future you imagined crumbles and dissolves. Yeah, you keep an eye on it, like you would on a little dying animal. Not cause you want to see it, but because, somehow, you just can't take your eyes off it. It's slow death, and you're gonna keep watching it, even as it gets blurry and misshapen, through your own tears.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:38 AM on August 5, 2008 [2 favorites]


mediocrePoster: "I don't want to sound self aggrandizing or anything here.."

OFFS. This whole thing has been an exercise in self-aggrandizement. You're gaming the community here and for some reason this time they're happy to play along - probably because the word "dick" is involved: lowest common denominator humour at its most mediocre.

This Meta is, in effect, a self-link. Something "goes" viral because people like it and send it to their friends - not because the originator links it everywhere he can. If your track succeeds, it won't be on its musical merit - it'll be because you thrust your dick-joke into as many faces as you could and begged for a blow-job.

In short, yours sincerely, fuck off, etc. etc.
posted by benzo8 at 2:55 AM on August 5, 2008


MetaFilter: It's slow death, and you're gonna keep watching it
posted by mediocre at 3:25 AM on August 5, 2008


But I'm looking at the stats for the most playlisted and favorited tracks ever on MuMeFi, although I'm certainly not anywhere near the top of the All Time Playlisted or Favorited tracks on MuMe, the individual listens of any All Time top ten does not exceed 300.

"Punch 'Em In The Dick" is currently at 717 plays.


Keeping track of Play Count is a recent development, and (unless I'm confused, which happens) isn't a reliable metric for comparison to anything posted earlier than 2008.

(717 [and rising!] is a staggering number regardless.)
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 3:29 AM on August 5, 2008


benzo8: Dude, did somebody punch you in the dick? Lighten up. This is the Internet. Stop taking things so seriously.
posted by chillmost at 3:30 AM on August 5, 2008


benzo8 has a point, and his callout was valid. I was being smugly self satisfied with my "Not to sound self aggrandizing" remark, the fact is I'm rather surprised, and yes.. proud.. that this song has found a few fans. All I did was post another one-joke hip hop song in what if you'll look at my posting history in MeMu is a history of one-joke hip hop songs and unremarkable instrumentals.. I'm new here, and probably being a bit too proud..
posted by mediocre at 3:40 AM on August 5, 2008


And I'll kindly withdraw my brag about plays, if there aren't any real representative numbers of total all time plays then my post was invalid in the first place.
posted by mediocre at 3:42 AM on August 5, 2008


Is it possible to appropriate your own slang?
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 4:39 AM on August 5, 2008


benzo8: "Something "goes" viral because people like it and send it to their friends - not because the originator links it everywhere he can. If your track succeeds, it won't be on its musical merit - it'll be because you thrust your dick-joke into as many faces as you could and begged for a blow-job."

As I wrote earlier I first heard this song because cortex linked it elsewhere. I then went on to share it with my friends on Facebook. So it's going viral (albeit on a small scale for now) and it's not because mediocre linked it here.

Also, lighten the fuck up.
posted by sveskemus at 5:01 AM on August 5, 2008


Yeah, let's be easy on mediocre, it's perfectly understandable that he is thrilled with what is happening around his song. I've been posting at MefiMusic pretty much since it started and when I started I thought every song would get a response like that. It took me quite a while to get used to the idea that MefiMusic just doesn't get that kind of attention and I can see why mediocre is so enthusiastic. So, if someone doesn't think his song is the most representative of Mefimusic, or would rather highlight other songs, go favorite those, show them to people. Make this happen with every song you like from Metafilter Music.

Meanwhile, congratulations, mediocre.
posted by micayetoca at 6:11 AM on August 5, 2008 [2 favorites]


But I'm looking at the stats for the most playlisted and favorited tracks ever on MuMeFi

Yeah, as folks have pointed out:

- The sidebar is a motherfucking firehose of attention,
- Beauty fades, and
- Play counts weren't around for a long time, so it's kind of hard to A/B this vs. old popular tracks.

I think benzo8 is being kind of harsh in how he's making his point, but a make-your-own-callout post is a pretty unusual thing and when I saw it yesterday morning I was mostly relieved that it hadn't turned into a vicious "why are you posting about yourself" pile-on. I would avoid doing this sort of thing in the future, but metatalk is a land of strange misadventures and First Times, so eh.

I'm not sure we need anyone to try and summon the snark of ten men just because the thread has been otherwise pretty much jovial—god forbid a metatalk thread go by without an attempt to crush someone's spirit, etc—so you could probably have made your valid objections without the frisson of "fuck off", benzo8. It'd make for more of a useful discussion and less of a weird jarring thread-crapping feeling.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:35 AM on August 5, 2008


cortexAdmin: "I'm not sure we need anyone to try and summon the snark of ten men just because the thread has been otherwise pretty much jovial—god forbid a metatalk thread go by without an attempt to crush someone's spirit, etc—so you could probably have made your valid objections without the frisson of "fuck off", benzo8. It'd make for more of a useful discussion and less of a weird jarring thread-crapping feeling."

Pretty weak to suggest I have no argument with this post other than the fact it was hitherto going well, cortex.

A self-congratulatory call-out in which the OP calls not once, but twice for us to "make it go viral!", claps himself on the back for getting lots of listenings and suggests he's pretty much better than most of the people who've been contributing to MeMu, and the community as a whole, for a lot longer that he - well, I still proffer the idea that if the song didn't have the word "dick" in it, this thread would be ablaze right now...

Personally, the song, the side-bar, the call-out and the circle-jerk are pretty pathetic, given that the replacing the word "dick" with anything less tittersome would almost certainly have elicited nary a murmur.

That said, mediocre responded with more grace and humility than others at whom the comments were not even aimed, and given he wrote a song called "Punch Him in the Dick", it's not a stretch to imagine the word "fuck" didn't really bother him too much...
posted by benzo8 at 7:11 AM on August 5, 2008


Pretty weak to suggest I have no argument with this post other than the fact it was hitherto going well, cortex.

I'm not trying to suggest that. I'm trying to figure out why you're being as much of a damn jerk about it as you are, and that's the most generous explanation. The less generous obvious explanation is that it's just a fallback to some cultural ideal that being as asshole in meta is a Good Thing, and I can't totally fault you if you hold truck with that since this place has been full of that sort of thing for years as well.

What I am trying to suggest is that you could have exactly the legit objections you've had without being such a massive jerk about it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:20 AM on August 5, 2008


mediocre responded with more grace and humility

Well, now that's he demonstrated enough contrition for his crimes of being proud and happy to satisfy your lordship, I guess your work here is done.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:31 AM on August 5, 2008


I'd imagine the same plebians who so applauded "dick" are probably impressed by "jerk" as well...

Your childishly passive-aggressive post is below you cortex, particularly given that you write one thing and then deny its meaning two posts later. I fell into a not-so-cleverly laid trap and have paid the price. Oh snap!
posted by benzo8 at 7:40 AM on August 5, 2008


Well, now that's he demonstrated enough contrition for his crimes of being proud and happy to satisfy your lordship

Can I get some of that too, please?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:44 AM on August 5, 2008


My dick hurts.
posted by vronsky at 7:48 AM on August 5, 2008


Jesus, benzo08, chill out. If you spent any amount of time in MeFi Music you'd know that there's no shortage of songs that are silly half-baked ideas, so you can stop whining about how this one says "dick" in it a lot. You'd also know that mediocre's talent extends beyond goofy hip-hop songs, and that many of us "plebeians" who enjoyed Punch 'Em in the Dick listen to and enjoy other MeFi Music tracks also (from him and others). But I guess it's easier to just cry foul, right?
posted by danb at 8:05 AM on August 5, 2008


For god's sake. I think you were acting like a jerk, period. I don't want to pick a fight with you and I don't even disagree with you about seems to be the fundamental arguments you're making, but I think that you were nonetheless putting yourself across in an unnecessarily aggressive and combative way and I wish you hadn't done that, not for poor ol' mediocre's sake—again, I agree with you that he's actually gotten pretty lucky by metatalk standards in not getting piled-on, and it seems to me like he's getting some decent course correction here even from people who aren't telling him to fuck off—but because it's lousy behavior in general.

I'll gladly retract my chattier speculation. I'm spiky this morning, and I sincerely don't want to get into it with you by being lazily provocative, so I'm sorry for whatever aspect of that has creeped into my (frustrated!) responses to you. I do think your comments in this thread have been badly done, however reasonable the underlying policy/etiquette motivation.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:07 AM on August 5, 2008


I'd imagine the same plebians who so applauded "dick" are probably impressed by "jerk" as well...

Plebians? Really? Are you ok? Everything cool?
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:11 AM on August 5, 2008


I'd imagine the same plebians who so applauded "dick" are probably impressed by "jerk" as well...

I know I was; because "jerk" and "dick" go so well together. It's like peanut-butter and chocolate.
posted by quin at 8:15 AM on August 5, 2008


You know, one of the things I love best about MeFi is that we have guidelines instead of rules. Like how it's sometimes okay to do something which would not usually be alright but only if it's rare and really cool. Sure, mediocre was bordering on breaking the guidelines with this self-callout but a sidebarred music post almost never happens and because it is also a song that most mefites seem to enjoy people were generally alright with mediocre bringing it to MeTa.

Of course guidelines are always up for discussion which means that you have the right to your opinion, benzo8. But that doesn't mean you have to be an asshole about it.
posted by sveskemus at 8:27 AM on August 5, 2008


sveskemus: "Of course guidelines are always up for discussion which means that you have the right to your opinion, benzo8. But that doesn't mean you have to be an asshole about it."

Is this because you didn't get a rise out of me here? Would you like to take a third bite of the cherry, just in case I actually haven't had enough of this all by now?

I've got my point across (to most people - danb still seems to miss it, but that's by the by) and been chastised for doing so in a jerk-esque manner... As Alvy said, my work here is done...
posted by benzo8 at 8:39 AM on August 5, 2008


I'm not trying to get a rise out of you. On the contrary, I'm trying to get you to chill out. All I'm saying is that it would have been possible to make your point in a nicer way. Everybody needs a hug, you know?
posted by sveskemus at 8:46 AM on August 5, 2008


And you didn't think that the 30 minutes since my last post, and since cortex's response perhaps indicated I was chilled out, and that maybe calling me an "asshole" was going to help?

"Seriously, I poked the ants nest because I hadn't seen any for a while and I wanted to make sure they'd stopped biting me!"
posted by benzo8 at 8:50 AM on August 5, 2008


I'm agreeing on the cessation-of-hostilities, commencement-of-the-hugging thing on all fronts here. If everybody needs one, everybody needs one.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:57 AM on August 5, 2008


I didn't call you an asshole. I said you were being an asshole about it which is something completely different. The general consensus, as I see it, is that you make a valid point but that it would suit you to be less aggressive.

But yeah, hugs.
posted by sveskemus at 9:03 AM on August 5, 2008


Oh, for the love of dissapproving bunnies.

I don't get it. I don't get this community norm. What if mediocre's minor self-congratulation and self-promotion magically work, and this song "goes hecka mad viral" and winds up catapulting him into wealth and fame and blinged out athletic supporters? Are we going to then tut-tut his immodest beginnings here? His tinny toot-ta-doooooo cast into the whistling winds of the MeTa badlands? No, we're gonna be fucking amped for him.

This is a Metafilter-related post. It's about something that got sidebarred. So, it doesn't comment on that fact much. Boo-hoo. It's not some user just self-promoting out of the *groan* blue, with "Hay errybodies, I made widgets, wanna buy widgets? Buy some k?"

Being proud of your achievements and telling your friends about it doesn't mean you're suggesting you're "pretty much better than most of the people who've been contributing to MeMu."

People who get worked up over others being a little bit Look At Meeee I'm Happy and Lucky and You Like Me and Yay!! just seem bitter.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:10 AM on August 5, 2008 [4 favorites]


hugs

They're like a punch in the dick, only slower, higher, and softer.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:19 AM on August 5, 2008 [7 favorites]


Pat Boone, Hug 'Em in the Heart, featuring Phillipe.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:28 AM on August 5, 2008 [3 favorites]


Philippe? First mellifluous, and now this. And I used to be the best speller west of the misisipi.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:47 AM on August 5, 2008


My uncle Ronny was actually the beast speller west of the Mississippi. He was amazing, but had a nervous breakdown during Parastratiosphecomyia stratiosphecomyioidesgate.
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:07 AM on August 5, 2008 [1 favorite]


beast speller = horse whisperer?
posted by felix at 10:41 AM on August 5, 2008


If someone wanted a higher-quality version of this or any other Metafilter Music track, where might one find such a thing?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:14 AM on August 5, 2008


As a plebeian, I would also be interested in such a thing. I will understand if it's an artistic statement that higher bitrates should also be punched in the dick, however.
posted by Drastic at 11:33 AM on August 5, 2008


If someone wanted a higher-quality version of this or any other Metafilter Music track, where might one find such a thing?

One would generally need to contact the author of any given track personally via e- or mefi-mail or other such means of personal correspondence. One can probably just get away with posing a semi-rhetorical question in this thread in this case, which is lucky for one.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:36 AM on August 5, 2008


So long as we're clarifying the origins of slang terms, is this song inspired by the "I'll punch you in your dick" letter from the owner of the coffee shop that refused to serve espresso on ice? Or is dick-punching just a random internet meme?

I have been losing sleep over this. Thank you.
posted by designbot at 11:51 AM on August 5, 2008


Apparently, since Drastic was wondering the same thing, it's lucky for two.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:51 AM on August 5, 2008


Or is dick-punching just a random internet meme?

Dick punching is not to be questioned. All who do will be punched. In the dick.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:12 PM on August 5, 2008


Would it be mixing metaphors to say that I punched 'em in the bucket of cocks?
posted by found missing at 12:20 PM on August 5, 2008


Or is dick-punching just a random internet meme?

Biz Markie invented it.
posted by First Post at 1:11 PM on August 5, 2008 [1 favorite]


Would it be mixing metaphors to say that I punched 'em in the bucket of cocks?

Yeah, you're bobbing for turds in the dickpunch bowl with that one.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:17 PM on August 5, 2008


*slams dickpunched mashed potatoes in the oven*
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:21 PM on August 5, 2008


...

It wasn't written around an internet meme, it was written because cockpunches are really funny.

I'm working on getting better bitrates and possibly remixable tracks for people that have requested them.. I had a huge catastrophic loss of data shortly after this and a number of other tracks were recorded recently.. and foolish me, had no current backup..

Also, I'd like to point out my utter n00b-ness on MeFi but especially MeTa. When I saw that the post had been sidebarred I was thrilled and wanted to thank someone, but since I had no idea where to go with that I clicked on MetaTalk for the first time ever and it seemed as good a place as any. Apparently I dodged a bullet to the brainpan, but I was unaware that it was bad form.

While I imagine someone would have called it out anyways because of its low-brow nature now that I've looked long and hard at the history of MetaTalk, if I could have put the genie back in that bottle and just MeMail'd cortex a "tahkns!1", I probably would have just done that..

Anyways, yeah.. higher quality coming..
posted by mediocre at 1:45 PM on August 5, 2008


because cockpunches are really funny

Yeah, they're really funny until someone loses an eye.
posted by found missing at 1:48 PM on August 5, 2008


Don't worry about it, mediocre. Yeah, it was n00bish, but charmingly so; only an asshat would think your post was anything other than a burst of puppylike enthusiasm. Alas, kicking puppies is a sport in these parts. You've taken your lumps well and are now a fully fledged and armored MeFite—welcome, and ask cortex for the keys to the cabinet where we keep the good liquor!
posted by languagehat at 2:23 PM on August 5, 2008


Yeah, they're really funny until someone loses an eye.

I think you may be misunderstanding how cock-punching works; it's not the cock doing the punch.

Though as I write this, I realize that pornography with this theme already exists, and if it didn't, my commenting on it surely bamf'ed it into existence.
posted by quin at 2:30 PM on August 5, 2008


it's not the cock doing the punch

Nobody said which eye was being lost.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:41 PM on August 5, 2008


Get ready for a cockpunch, my friend.
posted by found missing at 3:41 PM on August 5, 2008


My dick hurts women.

FTFY.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:02 PM on August 5, 2008


Somehow, you managed to find a way to move us into icky territory.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:26 PM on August 5, 2008


Hey Peter -- F.U. and the Blog you rode in On.
posted by vronsky at 8:32 PM on August 5, 2008


Cortex, Matt - how much would it cost me to get the 'note' on the bottom of this preview window changed to

note: Everyone needs a punch in the dick.

for a day?
posted by ikkyu2 at 10:18 PM on August 5, 2008 [3 favorites]


Ahh, but then Second Account For Making Jokey Comments would actually have a quasi-legit beef instead of this non-legit beef.

After he retired as a beast speller, Ronny gave up the ghost following an encounter with non-legit beef. We're still very torn up.
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:10 AM on August 6, 2008


I have an internet friend who threatens to punch people with the fist of his cock. It may be relevant, it may not. The thread draws to a close anyway. I just thought I'd add that. One day I wish to draw a picture of that image (I have it in my head).

Thank you and good night.
posted by h00py at 12:48 AM on August 8, 2008


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