Please remove the hook from your lip before attempting to answer.

February 20, 2009 12:51 PM

Does this AskMe post seem fishy to you?

I guess I'm open to this being legit, but the combination of ZERO posting history, extremely poor grammar and scatter-brained phrasing, and arbitrary statements like this all incline me to suspicion:

"... finding another partner to marry is not easy as I have to get married again which means a lot of money need to be invested, around $ 37. 000."

I understand the idea that marriage in certain cultures requires investment, but this arbitrary figure is somehow flagging my scam-o-meter.

Could this be some sort of culture-trolling? A lot of the answers already are devolving into a cultural guessing-game...

posted by zhivota to Etiquette/Policy at 12:51 PM (68 comments total)

no
posted by found missing at 12:54 PM on February 20, 2009

Personally I think it's weird. BUT I think there are a lot of people with weird questions to ask who just sort of wander around the internet looking for places to ask them. You should see the bizarro questions we get via the contact form sometimes. So yeah I agree it's weird but no I don't think it's trolling.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:55 PM on February 20, 2009

Sixcolors killed the fishy-question-detection centers of my brain so I can't really help you on this.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:56 PM on February 20, 2009 [38 favorites]

Yes. Of course, I don't like watermelon.
posted by chinston at 12:57 PM on February 20, 2009

You should see the bizarro questions we get via the contact form sometimes

Can we? Can we, please?
posted by procrastination at 1:00 PM on February 20, 2009 [20 favorites]

It was written in an authentic South Asian ESL voice, to my ear.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:00 PM on February 20, 2009 [7 favorites]

To me, it seems like a poorly thought-out, poorly phrased question composed by someone feeling a great deal of stress and for whom English is probably not his native language. That doesn't make it fishy.

I took the oddly specific cost for a new wedding to be either the approximate cost of his first wedding or the result of conversion from a round number in another currency.
posted by dersins at 1:00 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

I don't see anything wrong here.
posted by Pants! at 1:01 PM on February 20, 2009

While it does have a certain tinge of DTFAM (Ditch The Failed Arranged Marriage) to it, if the asker is from another culture and country, it wouldn't be improbable for them to have "extremely poor grammar" if English was indeed their second language.

"Scatter-brained phrasing"? Hit Yahoo! Answers sometime. How is babby formed, anyway? How foreign girl get pragnent?

That arbitrary number? Could be the rounded off bill from the last wedding.

It certainly seems plausible.
posted by adipocere at 1:04 PM on February 20, 2009

Slightly odd, but probably not trolling, is my guess. And the $37.000? The poster had some round number in his own currency and converted it?
posted by Dumsnill at 1:09 PM on February 20, 2009

What would the "scam" be, exactly?
posted by tristeza at 1:10 PM on February 20, 2009

this may seem a strange question but what if it were? are you being harmed?
posted by krautland at 1:14 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

Throw in another vote for "BS detectors registering zero". To my virtual ear, the question has the ring of truth from a stressed, probably feeling trapped, non-native english speaker. Sure, the $37,000 number is a little WTF, but not enough to color the entire AskMe post.
posted by owtytrof at 1:14 PM on February 20, 2009

You should see the bizarro questions we get via the contact form sometimes

It was a perfectly legitimate question!

*closes account in a dramatic huff*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:20 PM on February 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

$37,000 dollars equals about 2 million Rupees.
posted by longsleeves at 1:23 PM on February 20, 2009 [3 favorites]

Eh, just throwing it out there, for the whole "self policing" thing... not ashamed to say that it looks like I was wrong and people have brought up some good points in the poster's defense.

Case closed, time for a beer.
posted by zhivota at 1:25 PM on February 20, 2009

Hold on, you've never posted to MeTa before… This all seems fishy.
posted by klangklangston at 1:27 PM on February 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

Could this be some sort of culture-trolling?

Why no?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:28 PM on February 20, 2009

What does mom do when the marriage she arranged gets dumped?
posted by netbros at 1:29 PM on February 20, 2009

TIMING!
posted by klangklangston at 1:29 PM on February 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

What's the secret to comedy?
posted by klangklangston at 1:30 PM on February 20, 2009 [4 favorites]

timing?
posted by found missing at 1:31 PM on February 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yep, I'm a meta-troll. Maybe I can be a river monster, who lives in the river, and swims from bridge to bridge, robbing the bridge trolls?
posted by zhivota at 1:33 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

What does mom do when the marriage she arranged gets dumped?

As someone whose mother is literally chomping at the bit to arrange my marriage, I seriously would like to know the answer to this question. What do mothers out there do when their matrimonial skills fail?
posted by bluefly at 1:37 PM on February 20, 2009

"Yep, I'm a meta-troll. Maybe I can be a river monster, who lives in the river, and swims from bridge to bridge, robbing the bridge trolls?"

I don't know about all that, because it didn't mention fish and I distinctly said that this was fishy.

I'm also trying to figure out how you will make money from this scamming of the credulous MeTa readers, who are trusting and gullible as a rule.
posted by klangklangston at 1:41 PM on February 20, 2009

"timing?"

No, that's not—MOO!—it. I'd remember.
posted by klangklangston at 1:42 PM on February 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

I wish quonsar were still here to explain that troll refers not to under-bridge dwellers, but rather to those who drag a fishing line through the water in the hopes of attracting bytes.
posted by found missing at 1:43 PM on February 20, 2009 [5 favorites]

I think you're a meta-meta-troll, which means that you are a sucker-fish who hitches a ride on my river-monster back, eating my leftovers and algae off of my skin.

This is why it smells fishy in here to you.
posted by zhivota at 1:43 PM on February 20, 2009

The $37,000 could be the dowry he would have to repay his wife's family if he wants to divorce her.
posted by jamjam at 1:51 PM on February 20, 2009

jamjam: If that is all he has to pay, he'll get off a lot better than most!
posted by zhivota at 1:53 PM on February 20, 2009

I wish quonsar were still here to explain that troll refers not to under-bridge dwellers, but rather to those who drag a fishing line through the water in the hopes of attracting bytes.

See, I think it fits both ways. Not only are trolls puttering around the lake in their boat with bait strung out behind them waiting for a bite, They are also ugly, warty basement dwellers that have no other reason to exist than to be nasty.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 1:56 PM on February 20, 2009

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2255989.ece
posted by zhivota at 1:58 PM on February 20, 2009

As an Indian, I think this sounds exactly like ESL speakers from India and it didn't set off my bullshit detectors at all. The $37,000 figure is rather weirdly exorbitant, but perhaps he meant Rs. 37,000. That's a more reasonable figure. My vote is for definitely legit.
posted by peacheater at 2:09 PM on February 20, 2009

jamjam: I have never heard of dowries being repaid in the event of a divorce.
posted by peacheater at 2:10 PM on February 20, 2009

"I think you're a meta-meta-troll, which means that you are a sucker-fish who hitches a ride on my river-monster back, eating my leftovers and algae off of my skin."

What does that even mean?
posted by klangklangston at 2:15 PM on February 20, 2009

your first wish should always be for infinite wisdom.

I always thought it was wish for more wishes?
posted by P.o.B. at 2:15 PM on February 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

Well, it shouldn't be for a twelve-inch pianist.
posted by klangklangston at 2:16 PM on February 20, 2009

A wish is a dream your brain makes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:20 PM on February 20, 2009 [5 favorites]

zhivota, are you suggesting that the poster was from Atlantis? It was only spotted earlier today, and we already have the first Atlantian MeFite! Take that, other social commentary/whatnot sites!
posted by filthy light thief at 2:21 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

Divorce her? I hardly know her!
posted by edgeways at 2:24 PM on February 20, 2009

Waitaminute.

So I shouldn't have sent him $37,000?
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 2:28 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

hal_c_on's answer in there strikes me as trollier than the question itself.
posted by CKmtl at 2:31 PM on February 20, 2009

Burhanistan: Hm? It's still there as far as I can tell.
posted by CKmtl at 2:42 PM on February 20, 2009

jamjam: I have never heard of dowries being repaid in the event of a divorce.

Well, it could be I'm a bit behind the times, peacheater; outside of Africa, most of the references I just now found to dowries being repaid in the event of a divorce were hundreds, if not thousands of years old.
posted by jamjam at 2:47 PM on February 20, 2009

If wishes were horses they would cost roughly $ 37. 000.
posted by Sailormom at 2:55 PM on February 20, 2009

You did everything your culture asked of you including following its norms...now you want to apply MeFi's cultural norms and standards to your situation to get out of it? Man up. You can't just switch from one set of standards to another just because its convenient for you. I don't know what you "should" do, but next time...if you want to apply MeFi's standards to your marital situation, you better have posted an askme asking us if you should get married to a woman you never met. I'm sure people on here would have had a different solution than the one you initially chose. posted by hal_c_on at 11:42 AM on February 20 [3 favorites +] [!]

Hmmm. I taste subtle notes of sarcasm, but the bitterness is a little overwhelming. Not a good year for this particular whine.
posted by katillathehun at 3:15 PM on February 20, 2009

Metafilter: Could this be some sort of culture-trolling?
posted by Night_owl at 3:47 PM on February 20, 2009

That is not so much a question as it is a howl, or lament. It's incredibly sad.
posted by painquale at 4:03 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

No.

I feel bad for the guy, and hope we're doing a good job for him.
posted by !Jim at 4:32 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

I actually know somebody personally who was in a similar situation.

All of us were trying to tell him how crazy it was that his parents were making him get married to someone he never met, but it was just impossible for him to look outside his culture. He regretted it immediately.
posted by empath at 5:42 PM on February 20, 2009

Yeah, definitely legit. Arranged marriage is a fact of life for many people, even today, even here. Sad but true, I know of a girl received a call from her man that was basically "I'm at the airport, marry me or I'm getting on this flight and going through with my arranged marriage." She didn't, he did, now he's got a wife in India and a reluctant mistress in Canada.
posted by yellowbinder at 6:38 PM on February 20, 2009

Ask Metafilter: a lot of people with weird questions to ask who just sort of wander around the internet looking for places to ask them
posted by Manjusri at 7:38 PM on February 20, 2009

I don't think it sounds fishy. Now, if he were saying that the $37,000 was tied up in an overseas bank, awaiting collection by a foreign designee to be named by family members who could not escape their home country due to oppressive conditions and the recent assassination of their eminent father, Dr. Emeni Burbilac, but that the poster was prepared to offer you, AskMe, 25% of the total amount in the account, designate you as the beneficiary upon the finalization of an agreement with his attorney involving your account and routing numbers and social security number....then I would say, fishy.

But this question? No reason to suspect fishiness...it still happens.
posted by Miko at 7:38 PM on February 20, 2009

He is using definite article too much but otherwise sounding like real desi, 100%. I am having no doubt regarding veracity of posting.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:01 PM on February 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

*wiggles head*
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:02 PM on February 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

quonsar is always with us.
posted by frecklefaerie at 12:34 AM on February 21, 2009

If you ever find a genie and he offers you three wishes, your first wish should always be for infinite wisdom wishes.

Durr!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:53 AM on February 21, 2009

Dan Savage printed a letter several years ago in which someone asked him, with all the crazy questions he got about unusual kinks and bizarre situations, didn't he think that surely some of those letters were made up? His answer was simple and perfect.

"Why does it matter?"

Yes, if a question is posted to deliberately stir up trouble and serves no other purpose for discussion, it's a problem. But the question in question likely resonates with a lot of people in this global community, it's asked in an open, non-confrontational way, and there's some hella good advice in the thread.

Why does it matter?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:42 AM on February 21, 2009

Can you wish for more genies, though? Or should I wish for a lawyer first?
posted by louche mustachio at 10:44 AM on February 21, 2009

I wasn't that concerned until I got to the part where girl got pragnent and babby was formed.

i.e. I vote fake.
posted by Devils Slide at 12:38 PM on February 21, 2009

Because people in arranged marriages don't make babbies?
posted by scody at 1:26 PM on February 21, 2009

That isn't an Indian or Pakistani poster, in my opinion. The lot of us who go abroad to study generally speak English really really well, as we're schooled in English and we speak to our families in English and Hindi. If he's Indian or Pakistani and at the PhD level in the UK, it's really unlikely he doesn't have an excellent grasp of English, even if he's in the sciences.

I personally got the sense he was from some African country or maybe Eastern Europe. He sounds Borat-ish.
posted by anniecat at 1:59 PM on February 21, 2009

Or Afghani. I heard a This American Life about the matchmaking aid workers who raised $1000 for a guy who wanted to marry this one girl and their spoken English sounded like what this guy wrote. I think they were in Afghanistan.
posted by anniecat at 2:06 PM on February 21, 2009

Because people in arranged marriages don't make babbies?

Well, I thought the question was pretty fake sounding to begin with, but when he brought up the child it seemed like he was referencing the babby joke--"Divorce is not good for my baby life". Just my opinion. I could very well be wrong.
posted by Devils Slide at 8:43 PM on February 21, 2009

If he's Indian or Pakistani and at the PhD level in the UK, it's really unlikely he doesn't have an excellent grasp of English, even if he's in the sciences.

Disagree. Most of my science teachers on the college level were Indian or Pakistani grad students and their grasp of the spoken language was better than their written, as characterized by their puzzling and quaintly written syllabi.
posted by padraigin at 9:51 PM on February 21, 2009

Padraigin, I'm pretty certain that guy is not Indian. Kitkit09 isn't very "quaint" in anything he's written.

Anyway, as UbuRoivas mentioned, if he was Indian, there would have been considerable head wiggling.
posted by anniecat at 10:52 AM on February 22, 2009

$37,000 dollars equals about 2 million Rupees.

Oh, pesos. All these zeros are meaningless.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:34 PM on February 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

(Yes as a matter of fact I did watch the first two seasons of Venture Brothers over the weekend and yes I will henceforth be quoting extensively from the show.)
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:35 PM on February 22, 2009