Metafilter is a provider of social support. February 21, 2011 8:12 AM   Subscribe

Hello everyone. I'm a graduate student at CUNY Hunter School of Social Work; I am writing a paper on online social networking sites as they provide social support and intersect with the social service field. I would like to ask a few questions to get a sense of individual use and to observe the differences and similarities in experiences before I begin my paper.

Hello everyone. I'm a graduate student at CUNY Hunter School of Social Work; I am writing a paper on online social networking sites as they provide social support and intersect with the social service field. Matt Haughey describes metafilter as “A social network for not-friends” at 6:42 in the May 2010 GEL Conference video. My assignment is a paper on metafilter as a social networking site that facilitates well-being of people, looking at the strengths, weaknesses, and personal impact of online social support. I am concentrating on ask.metafilter, irl.metafilter and meetups.

I know that Metafilter has had an effect on my social network in New York because I found roommates through meetups and often interact with metafilter users in real life. I have spoken with people who have been connected to social service agencies through ask.metafilter. Some people have found their significant others by way of metafilter or received significant social support during crisis.

I would like to ask a few questions to get a sense of individual use and to observe the differences and similarities in experiences before I begin my paper. I would prefer answers be emailed to my school email address provided below for privacy. Because of the scope of the paper and the subject matter all answers will be kept strictly confidential. I will not be sharing any answers emailed to my hunter.cuny.email address with the moderators of metafilter, Hunter professors or colleagues, or anyone else. I will only be keeping the emails as long as I am writing the paper. No one will be directly quoted in the paper and no user names will be used but I may describe situations and scenarios with specific details.

Any information about on-going physical or psychological abuse will not be kept anonymous.

It is appropriate to post answers in this thread if you would like to share publicly. There are no right or wrong ways to answer these questions. You may be as specific or vague as you feel comfortable.

Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?


J Morris
CUNY Hunter School of Social Work
j d m o r r i s AT h u n t e r DOT c u n y DOT e d u
posted by fuq to MetaFilter-Related at 8:12 AM (65 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

I demand to see your IRB approval.

Not really, I'll do my best to answer your questions though.
posted by Think_Long at 8:23 AM on February 21, 2011


No.

I...uh...apply them?

When I have a question and never, respectively. I don't get what I'm supposed to answer for these questions. It's like asking when I drink water. Is "when I'm thirsty" too obvious?

No, no, no and no, although I did get a book from a MeFite once.

Not that I know of.
posted by DU at 8:25 AM on February 21, 2011


Any information about on-going physical or psychological abuse will not be kept anonymous.

Is that 'not' supposed to be in there?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:26 AM on February 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


I did a metatalk thread that's an example of this. The Russian Incident is another.
posted by By The Grace of God at 8:27 AM on February 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


There's also a user, The Straightener, who has since disabled his account, but who linked many, many users to social services. His activity page may be of interest to you.
posted by By The Grace of God at 8:29 AM on February 21, 2011


“A social network for not-friends”

Well, I never....
posted by jonmc at 8:39 AM on February 21, 2011


By The Grace of God: " The Straightener, who has since disabled his account"

oh, come on.
posted by boo_radley at 8:52 AM on February 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Any information about on-going physical or psychological abuse will not be kept anonymous.

Is that 'not' supposed to be in there?


That not is supposed to be in there, as in, if you send me information that documents an situation involving the current and on-going physical or mental abuse of a child or an elderly person and there is any information that appropriate authorities can use to investigate or end the abusive situation I will send the information to the relevant law enforcement agencies. Past situations of abuse that have been resolved will of course be kept confidential.

The Straightener was one of the people who inspired me to enter the field of social work, I met him at a meet-up a few years ago. It's sad he's not part of the community anymore.

The Russian incident will definitely be a focus of my paper.
posted by fuq at 8:52 AM on February 21, 2011


Indeed. I am very sad about it. I've sent him a few emails since and he's not responded. :(
posted by By The Grace of God at 8:59 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Yes.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

The way you would "use" any advice. I "consider" the "quality" and "plausibility" and then use the "synthesis" of the given advice and my own best guess at the answer to proceed with whatever "dilemma" prompted the question. Or I "ignore" it outright as a bunch of idiotic "blather".

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Usually during business hours.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Nope. But I did once donate to a metafilter user who was homeless due to an apartment fire.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Yes.
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:01 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Yes.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
I've had great success when asking for recommendations. I place greater reliance on MeFite reponses than, say, Yelp.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
What time of day, you mean? Afternoon or early evening, I think.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Nope.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yes!

Also: what happened to The Straightener??
posted by orrnyereg at 9:05 AM on February 21, 2011


Also: what happened to The Straightener??

He's still kicking ass on the streets of Philly. He left here because of concerns with bad social services advice on AskMe.

Also, there's this, in regards to helping members in need: Help Scalefree.
posted by cashman at 9:08 AM on February 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Yep.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

I weigh their helpfulness and apply as needed.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Ask: When I have questions that need answers I can't easily obtain anywhere else.
IRL: Haven't used it yet.

Have you gotten a referral to social services...

Sort of.

...become employed...

No.

...or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?


No. But I once donated a bunch of stuff to an auction whose proceeds were going to assist another MeFite.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Yep.
posted by zarq at 9:10 AM on February 21, 2011


I miss the Straightener, too. He was of real use when the mental health system in Florida disappeared my daughter for 3 days last August. Six years on, backchannel MetaFilter has started to become part of my real life. They're getting almost inseparable.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:18 AM on February 21, 2011


1. Yes.
2. Almost all of my questions have answers (e.g. what is this movie, what is this song, what is this book). If the answer is right: hooray! If the answer is wrong: disregard. If the answer is good, but not what I'm looking for: take it under advisement.
3. Whenever I have a question/event.
4. Does Secret Quonsar count? Then yes.
5. Yes.
posted by phunniemee at 9:48 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
I live in Las Vegas but there don't seem to be too many of us here.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
I apply them as appropriate, depending on the type of question.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
When I have a question or want to try to organize a meetup.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
I tend to be more on the giving end of such things. I can PM you details if you want.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
I first discovered MetaFilter through my brother's blog many years ago, but I think he was just a lurker, not a member.
One of my coworkers is an occasional lurker and put up fake when he passed through Vegas on his roadtrip in the middle of the Russian girls incident. I sent my coworker and his girlfriend gift memberships but I don't know if they ever signed up.
I've met some MeFites since joining, but other than the lurking coworker I haven't discovered that any of my IRL acquaintances are MeFites.
I friended Jessamyn on Facebook 'cuz I'm a fangirl like that.
posted by Jacqueline at 10:07 AM on February 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

I live in a major city with an estimated metafilter member concentration of approx 40 members per 4,000,000 people, or 1 in 100,000.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

Depends on the question. Sometimes I'm just interested in knowing something; other times there's a direct, practical application.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

When I want to get an answer for something or organise a meetup. The most common time would probably be around 7am AEST on Mondays.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

No. I must have missed the free gift page.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Technically yes, but outside of meetups & very occasional social networking chitchat, not in what I'd call a very tight or regular kind of connection. Apart from lil ubu & his mother, of course.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:18 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Unfortunately -- No

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

I take them like any other advice - I apply what's useful and ignore the snark.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I've never posted to irl.metafilter. I post to ask.metafilter when I have a question that I'd like many answers to where I can sift through the answers and find the ones that make the most sense/are most applicable to the situation.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Does secret quonsar count? I participated in that.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Unfortunately, no. Unless you count the exchange of postcards once or twice, other than that, nothing. :(
posted by patheral at 10:38 AM on February 21, 2011


I've used answers for work-related applications before, would that count for your purposes?
posted by eleanna at 10:42 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Not really.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
Depends on the answers, right? If something makes sense I buy it, if something doesn't I don't.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
To ask: when I have a question I can't google my way around. Any time.
Irl. Yesterday first time in all these years, because I was jealous. Some unknown bunch of people were meeting and having a great time and I was here.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
No

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yes, [or] no.
posted by Namlit at 10:45 AM on February 21, 2011


The Russian incident will definitely be a focus of my paper.

If you want to talk to me privately about this, Kathrine has my number/email (think you do, too) and you're welcome to call me anytime.
posted by fake at 11:21 AM on February 21, 2011 [1 favorite]



Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

No.


How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

I tend to use answers to my human-relations-ish questions in aggregate form, I'm looking for sort of "what do people think about this?" rather than "what should I do?" (Example.) It's just me & my boys, w/o much extended family, so other people's perspectives are valuable to me -- that said, AskMe is the only place I'd ask any questions like that. The people here are intelligent and thoughtful, and mostly non-judgey. The advice is given with compassion & insight.

Then again my "help me remember the title of this book" question has never been answered! (Come on people, help a girl out!)


When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Ask: nights & weekends mostly, usually not during work hours. IRL: don't use it.


Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I've done the CD exchange and little things like send/receive stickers to other Mefites, but nothing other than that.


Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Nope.
posted by headnsouth at 11:27 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Yes

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
I used the answer to confirm a decision I'd been leaning toward anyway and as a bonus I got really helpful replies for a more "do it yourself" approach to my issue.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
I don't post to irl and I've only posted to ask once. I made that post because I knew we had people here with personal experience on what was looking like a pretty subjective issue. I was not disappointed.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
No

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Not that my friends/aquaintences will admit.
posted by agatha_magatha at 11:35 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Yup! Well, depends on what you mean by major. I'm in Reykjavík currently (though not for much longer) which has a fair number of MeFites. I ran into one just today at the library, as a matter of fact.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

Hopefully to solve the problem at hand. Mostly I'm seeking information I can't find online or in a library.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Time-of-day-wise there's no pattern I can think of. I post to AskMe when I need information I've been unable to find anywhere else and I post to IRL when I'm calling a meetup.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I once mentioned that I liked a t-shirt and a very nice man sent it to me through the mail. Other than that, no.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Lots of my real life friends are also MeFites, either independently of me or because I hipped them to the best place on the internet. I have a few friends who I met through MetaFilter.
posted by Kattullus at 11:56 AM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
No.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
My questions tend to be extremely practical, problem-oriented ones.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
All different times of the day, all days of the week.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Friends with a few on Facebook, follow a couple on Twitter.
posted by jbickers at 12:18 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
- Major city - YES. Concentration - NO?
How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
- I ask practical problems with objective answers. I use the suggestions as-is, merge several, or use them as a starting point for taking action.
When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
- When I can't google it and my mom doesn't know.
Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
- Do CD/postcard/stuff swaps count? YES. Otherwise, NO.
Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
- YES
posted by whatzit at 12:26 PM on February 21, 2011


Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life

We can talk about it next time I see you.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:59 PM on February 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
My city is... semi-major? 200k+. If I had to guess, I'd say that there are close to 50 MeFites or lurkers from my area.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
If I'm looking for practical, concrete solutions (e.g. "I need suggestions of songs for church"), I look up the suggestions elsewhere and mentally check them off in my head. If I'm looking for interpersonal advice (e.g. "My mom is crazy; what do I do?" -- again and again...), it's often just comforting to see that someone else is thinking similar things. I also value having a new perspective and seeing the tide of people who might encourage me to see things in a different way.

Either way, I mentally file away who mentioned the best/worst or kindest/rudest ones, so I can keep an eye out for those folks in the future.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Never to IRL; very rarely to AskMe. I post to AskMe when I need fresh, honest opinions on something, whether it's because I've hashed it over too much with closer friends or because I want expertise from someone who knows (e.g. travel/restaurant recommendations in an unfamiliar area). It's probably half and half.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Social services -- no, although I've had some hints about other avenues to pursue with a current therapist or something. (e.g. "you should look into CBT" or similar)
Become employed -- no
Received gifts or material aid -- no*

*However, I HAVE done Secret Quonsar very happily. That's more of a side thing in MetaTalk, though.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yep. Mostly because I knew people before (including a couple of friends whom I encouraged to join, which is how I joined myself). Aside from MetaChat, which almost doesn't count because its membership comes from the same pool, I'd say I've extended the friendship to other sites (LJ, NaNoWriMo, etc.) with two or three MeFites.
posted by Madamina at 1:19 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Yes

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
I usually end up buying/using the recommended good/service I was asking about.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
I try to time the questions to the afternoon work hours, M-F on the East Coast. I seem to get more eyeballs on the problem that way. I don't post to irl.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
I have several Twitter followers. Does that count?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:51 PM on February 21, 2011


I'm curious why you chose those particular sub-sites for your study? Particularly, why not MeTa as well?
posted by dg at 2:23 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

According to my profile, there are no other MetaFilter members nearby, sorry.
posted by futureisunwritten at 2:28 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Not a major city, but there are about 60 MeFi users here in a town of 100,000.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

If it's a question with a strictly factual answer, I typically use that info to solve whatever problem I had. If it's a question asking advice more than facts, I consider the advice and apply or disregard according to how sensible the advice seems and/or how sensible I think the person is. This is kind of a silly question, really, and not helped by the superfluous quotation marks. If you need examples of "use" of answers, maybe check the activity of various respondents.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Ask: When I have a question I can't find answers to elsewhere online and also can't find answers to among my meatspace friends.
IRL: I haven't used this. I'm not on here enough to expect it to be great fun, and my last meetup with an online group (a decade ago, LJ users in town) was only slightly less boring than Descartes' Meditations.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Yes, I've received CDs through MeFi (and given some), and IIRC on one of my anonymous questions there was recommendation to make use of social services but no one specifically recommended. I've also given gifts to other users, both physical (CDs) and financial (the Russian girls incident).

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

I've met one other MeFite IRL and we're friends on Facebook. Otherwise I think no, unless healthmonth counts.
posted by johnofjack at 2:29 PM on February 21, 2011


Here's another question worth noting in your paper: how to get medical help when I have been homebound for years.

I think a lot of the value people get from Askme anyway is getting a frame of reference for what's "normal". We've had questions like "my girlfriend hits me and explodes with rage over small things, how can I be a better boyfriend", and answers like "that is not normal behavior, you don't have to put up with that, you should get out" are very helpful, I think - just because it's helpful to see that people's reaction to your situation is "whoa!". Also questions about one's own behavior, body, etc - some things are normal, and people can get reassurance that they're normal, and some things are way outside normal and people can be told "you need to stop this and/or seek external help".

Another benefit is a sense of the process of seeking help - how do you find a therapist? What will happen at a normal doctor's appointment? What would happen if I called CPS on my neighbor? Should I be talking to a medical doctor or a psychologist about this? etc.
posted by LobsterMitten at 3:02 PM on February 21, 2011 [4 favorites]


I value my Metafilter experience very highly: When I was seriously ill a couple of years ago, I was rallied around and supported by people here and at a spin-off site so much that I was compelled to thank them in a post.

It's not all illness and death though; sometimes meetups provide opportunities for wonderful japes and learning; I went on my first geocaching hunt at the Mefi 10th anniversary meetup.

To your questions:

Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
I live in Indianapolis, IN, a metropolitan area of something just under a million people. There are perhaps 10 regular users in the area I see on the site or occasionally at meetups.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
It depends on the question, I use the ask feature irregularly.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I use IRL perhaps once a year to try and organize a meetup. Ask, when I have a burning question or curiosity that the Goog can't satisfy.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
See my thread about the spider bite, above.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

In real life, I've met and become friends with several of the members, so many that when I travel, I can almost count on a friend being nearby; I find that comforting. I'm also connected with many of my site friends thru Facebook and Twitter.
posted by pjern at 3:39 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Minor city with a decent concentration of MeFites. In proximity to a bigger city with a larger MeFite population.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
Generally, I apply the information to the situation at hand. And AskMe has yet to do me wrong.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
As needed.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Not through Ask or IRL, no. I've participated in exchanges that were initiated on MeTa though (Secret Quonsar, mixtape swaps, etc).

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yep.
posted by sonika at 4:14 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
I live in a rural, coastal place loosely described as a town. The nearest “concentration of
Metafilter users” is probably Petaluma, California, and then tons of them in San Francisco.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions? This is a wack question!

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? I only use ask metafilter when I can’t find the answers I need by googling or perusing other answers on
Ask Metafilter. I get a lot more mileage out of reading others’ questions and answers. I have never posted to irl.metafilter.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites? Yes; my mother, husband, son and daughter are all Metafilter members. I am connected to some of them on facebook and linkedin. I have met other Metafilter members at a meetup and am connected to some of them on facebook and linkedin.
posted by Lynsey at 4:28 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Yes, but I haven't met anyone in person yet, as I regard myself as still a junior / low-intensity user.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

I find comment answers to be somewhat random unless you are asking for a specific reference (the title of a certain book, etc.) I have learned more from reading other people's AskMe questions and threads.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I have posted questions on Ask about once every two weeks or month.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Not that I know of, if they're using their real names elsewhere.
posted by bad grammar at 4:40 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Yes, there are many Mefites in Melbourne, Australia.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

It depends on the question, really. My most recent question was technical, about how to fix a wifi problem. A Mefite provided me with a possibility that I hadn't thought of, which resulted in a solution. At other times I've asked questions to gain more general advice, or just to scratch an itch from a minor fact I couldn't recall.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I've never posted to irl.metafilter, though I have long intended to attend a meetup (Melbourne, anyone?) I post to Ask whenever I have a question that's not easily googleable, that I think the community might be able to provide some insight into for whatever reason.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Not directly, though I have been directed to sources of accommodation.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

I know one other Mefite personally, though I met him independently of the site. I've met nobody directly through the site, but then I am mainly an enthusiastic lurker (i.e. read the blue/green/grey 10 times a day each, post once in a blue moon.)
posted by chmmr at 4:41 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Yes, I live in Los Angeles where MeFites hold relatively frequent, well-attended meet-ups and arrange social activities together.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
I evaluate answers to my question on the poster's apparent reading comprehension (of my question) and the applicability of their answer to my question. Often I use AskMe to validate a decision of mine, though I nearly as often ask in the hopes that another AskMe user will have specific knowledge that I can use.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
I post to AskMe when I remember to, which is to say not as often as I might if I were a bit more 'together' mentally. I only post a question to AskMe after having searched the archive (AHEM!) and the rest of the Internet as extensively as I am able—when those resources are expended I turn to AskMe.
I have yet to post a meet-up suggestion to IRL, but I keep an eye out for events in my area. I prefer the social gatherings as opposed to the ads for services/events that frequently get posted for the greater LA metro area.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
No, but I've given material aid, referred people to specific social services, and sent gifts as a result of my participation on those subsites.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yes, almost my entire network of friends in this city was founded through MeFi meetups, and also as a result of some of those material aids I mentioned above. I also met my girlfriend at a meetup several years ago (then started dating her after a more recent meetup last year =^). I was active on MetaFilter for several years before moving to Los Angeles, but during that time I only very rarely met MeFites in person and it was generally not at a meetup. There was maybe one meetup the entire time I was on MeFi and lived in Tucson, but it was at a busy bar where I didn't recognize anyone else as being a 'friend of mathowie'.
posted by carsonb at 5:12 PM on February 21, 2011


It's not clear what you mean when you use the term 'post' as a verb in those questions. I assumed you meant 'post a question' and 'post a meet-up proposal' and not 'post an answer' or 'post a comment on a meetup'.
posted by carsonb at 5:14 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Yes, Toronto, and there are apparently 148 MeFites within 25 miles; two thirds of them are within 2 miles. I've never met any that I didn't know already, although I've probably bumped into them without knowing it in various neighbourhood haunts.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

Depends on the question. I've asked about fairly diffuse topics, which lends itself to different kind of applications. I can generalize and say that I've only rarely asked a question and ended up not using any of the answers in some way. By my estimate, that's only happened 5% of the time.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?


Not sure the sense of 'when', but I'll go with the easiest: I never post to IRL and I tend to only post to Ask on weekdays before 4:00 PM.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

I know a small handful of people on here in real life, but I didn't meet them through MetaFilter. I'm not connected with anybody but a few of them on Facebook.
posted by Beardman at 5:28 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

No. There are two or three other active members around these parts who openly identify as being from here. I suspect there are several more who pretend to be living elsewhere.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

I follow up on them. I take the better advice given. I act upon it. If I ask for representations of space travel, I sort through the proffered videos, find the good shit, and I go traveling in space (figuratively speaking). If I ask for help in dealing with/caring for an abandoned feral kitten, I read the answers carefully, and then do what the sensible ones say.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

When I'm curious about something, or when I have a need for information that I can't fulfill myself.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Social services for a kitten? Certainly.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Not active ones, two inactive ones. Or no active ones I know of, anyhow. I sometimes find myself looking around at a party and thinking "okay, which of you fuckers are secretly mefites.."
posted by Ahab at 5:39 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Nope. I'm on Long Island - all you NYC Mefites are so close, yet so far...

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

Depends on the question. When I asked "Hey I saw this spider, what is it," I was asking for information, not advice. So, I didn't "use" the answers per se, since there was nothing in the answers to act on. When I ask for advice, I think about all the answers and act on what I think is the best advice.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I post to AskMe when I have a question that I think could be answered by the community. Generally I've been thinking about a question for a while before I turn to AskMe.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Not that I know of.
posted by pemberkins at 5:53 PM on February 21, 2011

I would prefer answers be emailed to my school email address provided below for privacy. Because of the scope of the paper and the subject matter all answers will be kept strictly confidential. I will not be sharing any answers emailed to my hunter.cuny.email address with the moderators of metafilter, Hunter professors or colleagues, or anyone else. I will only be keeping the emails as long as I am writing the paper. No one will be directly quoted in the paper and no user names will be used but I may describe situations and scenarios with specific details.

Any information about on-going physical or psychological abuse will not be kept anonymous.
I don't really understand your privacy policy.

I also don't understand how what city I live in is going to relate to ongoing physical or psychological abuse. Or why you would be sharing that information and with whom.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:02 PM on February 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Yes.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
I weigh the answers and then apply them based on my own personal feelings and choices and risk tolerance.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Ask: When I have a question that I can't find the answer to locally or in my current set of real-life contacts, or when I want a wider audience to get a better sample size, so to speak.
IRL: when I want to organize or attend a meetup. Or if I want to get local MeFites to come to my real-life thing.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
I've done Secret Quonsar twice (and been thrilled each time). I have exchanged holiday cards with MeFites.
I have given specific therapist recommendations on AskMe.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yes.
posted by sarahnade at 6:04 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Not really, as compared to LA or SF. This area has a number of users in the broader vicinity (of those marking locations, only 11 people w/in 20 miles, then it's 50+ miles to the next person)

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
Depends on the questions: suggestions for new products, locations for new support or answers, or a cookbook

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
I post questions to Ask.Metafilter when I have a question I can't answer through other reliable means, or when I think MeFites could provide unique insight. I post answers when I think I can provide some new insight or ideas, or provide support for suggestions already provided.

I post to IRL for meet-ups only, given the low density of MeFites in my area. I post comments about gatherings I might attend.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Yes, twice I've received items because of questions I've asked (note: in neither case was I asking for material goods, but on where to find related materials)

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yes, but only people I've met in real life, through meet-ups.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:22 PM on February 21, 2011


am writing a paper on online social networking sites as they provide social support and intersect with the social service field.

What's the working definition of "social networking sites?" One reason I think MetaFilter is so effective is that it's a little different from other places where social networking is the major focus. The site is topic-driven and content-driven. The social connections are more of an emergent property of the discussions. Which is very cool, but I would never identify MeFi as a social network, in common parlance, first and foremost.

Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

No

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

Highly dependent on the question - in general, survey the responses, investigate, combine answers with other information from IRL sources, weigh them, and choose best option.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

When I have a question that I think the userbase can answer well. This could be a relationship question or a recommendation question ("what's a good place to visit," "what are some dinner recipes under 10 minute prep time" etc).

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I've received gifts, through the Secret Quonsar exchange, and a few postcards and some fun random things now and then. I have never gotten a direct social service referral, though I've given some.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Yes, some, both IRL and on other sites.
posted by Miko at 7:19 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Not really. I know of one other fairly active user in my city. He seems like a great guy, but, for whatever reason, we've never gotten together.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?


A couple dudes mailed me some beer once. But that was more of a trade. And I've gotten at least one invite to an invite-only site.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Yes, some. I try not to put a sharp distinction between the two things.
posted by box at 7:28 PM on February 21, 2011


A couple of years ago, I was looking as frantically as I was able for a place to stay in Paris; my CraigsList arrangement was ending, I had the kind of migraine that made me unable to keep food down for a little over a day, and the apartment I'd looked at was awful. I posted my dilemma to Metafilter and someone actually offered to let me stay with her.

Another online connection saved me (a person I'd met through a language exchange web site allowed me to stay with her family for two nights, and would have let me stay longer -- I had no idea people were so nice), so I didn't have to impose on a _complete_ random person.
posted by amtho at 7:37 PM on February 21, 2011



Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Major city, yes, and high concentration, I think so, yes.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions? As data along with other information I have about the issue (although I didn't end up going to yoga or getting a manicure in Columbus, OH).

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? Rarely.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites? Just one person, account disabled. Real life, a guy I knew in college, and actually we became friends again because I recognized him on here. He was also the subject of my only MetaTalk post, which related to his offering resources to another user.
posted by Pax at 8:04 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Used to.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
Not sure how to answer this. I take them into account.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
Rarely to ask (mostly because I'm afraid of using up an answer and having to wait a week to ask an urgent one), never to irl. Five asks last year, one in 2009, two in 2008, seven in 2007, seven in 2006, 10 in 2005.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
I got paid $1300 for additional work arising out of an answer I gave.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Through meetups, I've met a few people I've hung out with outside of meetups. I've donated a bit of money to mefites, less than $300.
posted by orthogonality at 9:15 PM on February 21, 2011


Miko's point is essential and bears repeating: One reason I think MetaFilter is so effective is that it's a little different from other places where social networking is the major focus. The site is topic-driven and content-driven. The social connections are more of an emergent property of the discussions. Which is very cool, but I would never identify MeFi as a social network, in common parlance, first and foremost.

My answers:

city with a concentration of users? Yes.

use answers? I've only asked a few straightforward questions: how to cook or use something; identifying a book or artifact. Responses were varied but mostly helpful.

timing? No consistent pattern that I'm aware of.

employment, gifts, social services, etc.? Yes, I found my job here. I've occasionally sent gifts to and bought art from members, a few of whom I haven't met in real life. Once I privately sent someone advice about a specific social-service agency in their area.

real-life connections? The membership here overlaps with many different circles of people I've known at different times and in different cities. I've met new real-life friends here, too.
posted by tangerine at 10:03 PM on February 21, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

No. As far as I know there's nobody else in my (small) city on metafilter, and only a handful in my state.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

I don't understand this question.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Never posted to irl.metafilter. I use ask.metafilter for help in finding something I'm pretty sure is out there but my googling doesn't turn it up. I only rarely use it for advice.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Not really. I've met a few users in person, and once got a brief relationship out of the deal, but that's it. I probably would go to meetups more often if they were closer than 200 miles.
posted by JanetLand at 5:01 AM on February 22, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users? There is no Chicago Cabal. Otherwise, yes.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions? It depends on the question. I used the answer to my most recent question by following the instructions, verbatim, and resolving the problem with my PS3. I used the answers to my several reading questions by compiling a list which I carry in my purse in case I end up at the library. I used other answers in reasonable ways, I guess.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? I have asked 51 questions at various times: Sometimes immediately when the problem arises and I need an answer post-haste (the playstation thing and the time my goldfish had gravel stuck in its throat); sometimes (the question about my grandmother's Polish slang, for instance) when I just had a random curiosity, I'll ask it next time I'm on the computer, if I remember. I have never been reading metafilter and just said "Hey! I'll post a question! What have I been wondering about this week." I have, however, posted answers because I was just browsing metafilter and thought I had something useful to share. Same with IRL postings; I've been reading metafilter and thought "hey, monthly meet-up is coming! better post it" which is true, someone better post it!

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? Not that I recall. Someone bought me a cheeseburger at a meet-up once (thanks, Mighty Beard! TINCC!); someone else referred me to a carpenter and I went to a tailor recommended in my ask.me.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites? Yes. Turns out some folks on here are friends of people I know off-metafilter. Also, I've gotten to know folks through metafilter than I am now connected to on other social networking sites. Oh, and oo! The husband of one of my best friends ever is on metafilter. Hi!
posted by crush-onastick at 6:58 AM on February 22, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
I'm not sure how you define major city. I live in St. Louis, MO. It seems there are plenty of St. Louisans here.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
I've only asked 3 questions. I used answers as I saw fit. Some were more helpful than others. None of the answers changed my life, but that's not what I was looking for.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
When I have a good answer for someone. I'm trying to become more diligent and answer one question a day, so I can be a better member of Metafilter. I do a lot of lurking and thought that by trying to contribute one comment a day either on Ask or the Front Page I could contribute a bit more to the community.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
no

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
I am aware of one person I know in real life on metafilter--he introduced me to it. I suspect others...but I haven't attended any meetups and haven't linked to anyone in here via other social networking sites. I'm simply not active enough to be noticeable at this point.
posted by fyrebelley at 8:44 AM on February 22, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
No. I live in a mid-sized city (~280,000) but there are very few metafilter users here.
How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
Answers mostly help me focus my thinking on an issue. Sometimes they provide specific advice that I follow pretty closely. I also use ask to get a sense of how a large and diverse group of people feel about particular things that I might not be comfortable talking to my real-life social circle about, or that my social circle is too limited to handle.
When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
ask: I post questions as they come up, which is not that often. Certainly less than once a month. I post answers more frequently, but only when I believe I can contribute experience, substantiated evidence, or strongly held opinions (in questions that call for opinions).
IRL: I have only posted in IRL once, trying to arrange a meetup. It didn't happen (see first question).
Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
No.
Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
Yes. I am connected to some metafilter users on Twitter. I have not met any MeFis (at least that I am aware of) and I am not connected to any others metafilter users on Facebook or LinkedIn.
posted by charmcityblues at 2:02 PM on February 22, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users? - No

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
- Depends on the question. I've read a couple of recommended books, took some linked photos to my hair stylist, and picked one of the suggested locations for a family get-together. Most of the time, it's given me extra options I hadn't thought of or given me good background information for making a decision. (In a couple of cases, I still haven't actually used the advice; I just know it's there when I'm ready.) Actually, I wrote kind of a nice summary in MetaTalk of what happened with my questions as of last summer. (Since then: diaries still in boxes under the bed, got someone to tip a pizza delivery guy, will probably buy SSD separately.)

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? - for Ask, when I'm looking for informed opinions/options about something fairly specific, generally for which there may be more than one "right" answer. Often I'm looking to break a cycle of indecisiveness. In one case, I'd been discussing the question with other people and said I would "ask the internet."

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter? - No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites? - I think my kid sister still has an account. I've also discovered that a few other people I know in real life, both locally (ex. special agent conrad uno) and from my distant past (ex. gusandrews), are MeFites. Also people I know from other parts of the internet (ex. dw). I've been to two meetups, both in Austin for SxSW, far away from where I live.
posted by epersonae at 3:39 PM on February 22, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

- Yes.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

- I implement them!

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

- When I can't find it on google for a practical question. For human relations questions, I post a question when I fail to imagine the right thing to do (i.e. what metafilter would tell me to do!) in the privacy of my own mind.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

- No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

- I don't know. For me, the first rule of metafilter irl is I don't talk about metafilter.
posted by jbenben at 6:19 PM on February 22, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

I live in Vancouver, which I guess counts as a major city?? But I have no idea if it's a "concentration of metafilter users."

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?


It depends on the type of question. If I've asked for suggestions or ideas, I'll read each one and consider them against the others. If I've asked for help finding something, hopefully one of the answers tells me where to find it and I'll go there.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

I post to ask.metafilter when I have a question that's not a simple matter to google myself, when it would be easily solved or answered using another human being's expertise or experience. Otherwise, I post when I have a personal problem that I can't really turn to the people in my life for help with.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

No. :(

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

No.
posted by keep it under cover at 7:14 PM on February 22, 2011


*but* it would be easily solved or answered...
posted by keep it under cover at 7:15 PM on February 22, 2011


Wonderful. This has been very helpful! I'll let y'all know how it goes.
posted by fuq at 5:51 AM on February 23, 2011


1. Mostly, yes. (I move around a lot.)

2. I take them into consideration as one source of advice and make decisions based on them holistically. For simple questions with an easy answer - e.g. technology, gadgetry, how-to, identify-this, Metafilter is a great resource. For more complex HR answers, I love seeing perspectives that I and my insulated group of friends may not have considered, but I also realize that MeFi itself has a bias.

3. AskMe: Increasingly, when I have a question I don't know how to Google.
IRL: When I'm bored and looking to hang out. Usually about 2-3 weeks before a proposed meet-up date.

4. No, but I've applied for one-off gigs through Jobs and gotten them, participated in Secret
Santa, and gotten advice about relocations through friends.

5. Yes. I know quite a few in real life, and I connect with others through Facebook and Twitter.
posted by Phire at 8:07 AM on February 23, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

No.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

I post questions when I have a problem I cannot solve, either with a household problem (plumbing, automotive, etc) or something else objective.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

See above

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Yes.
posted by Danf at 12:00 PM on February 23, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?

Do I ever!

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?

It depends on the question. If it's a skills question (like the ones I've asked about knitting), then it's probably fairly straightforward with a practical application (what are the ways to purl?) and I may get several answers that can be applied (English style purl, Continental style purl, Dutch purl, etc.).

If it's more of an abstract relationship or something-going-on-in-my-head type question, I'll use the answers to gain perspective. Is how I'm viewing this situation on the inside similar to how people are viewing it on the outside? It also helps to have, when warranted, the validation of the experience that can come from people on the outside seeing it the same way.

A lot of times, I also use AskMe to gain sources of information I may not be aware of --- other websites or books that deal with the subject matter in addition to the opinions/shared experiences of other Mefites.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Mostly during working hours, which for me is typically 8:30 - 4 pm.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?

Not from ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter, but I did the Secret quonsar exchange this year, which is posted to Metatalk and then those interested join Elfster to facilitate the process. I received a fabulous game from a Mefite this year for participating.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?

Yes. I very much am.
posted by zizzle at 7:30 AM on February 24, 2011


Do you live in a major city or other concentration of metafilter users?
Probably there is a concentration of MeFi users.

How do you “use” the answers to your questions?
For answers. To read and think about what people say.

When do you post to ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
When I have a question; don't.

Have you gotten a referral to social services, become employed, or received gifts or material aid through ask.metafilter or irl.metafilter?
No.

Are you connected to other metafilter users in real life or on other social networking sites?
No. I might know other MeFi users IRL, but I don't know who they are if they exist.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:16 PM on February 24, 2011


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