Disabled Contacts March 13, 2012 6:37 PM   Subscribe

7 people just removed me from their contact list! From beyond the MeFi grave!

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
MATT?!

Ahem. Took me a minute to find out where this was happening on the site, but I did eventually. So, to answer my own question and hopefully clarify for others who might have been wondering:

Disabled accounts that had contacts just had the visibility of those contacts removed per this recent MetaTalk discussion. This was done because if you were to view the 'full contact' display of people who have contacted you, you would see information from closed accounts that was no longer supposed to be displayed. Here's SpiffyRob's observation (from the comment linked above):
If memory serves, the mods have said that when an account gets closed, all of the profile information is preserved so it can be restored if the event is reopened.

Well check it: If you've got a disabled account as a contact, the picture, name, and location are shown on the "Full" view of your contacts. (Scroll to the bottom.)
Also it was pointed out in that thread that it seems weird that you can be 'contacted' by a disabled account—that is, an account that can no longer edit those contact preferences. The solution, I guess, is to remove the visible link between profiles. Apparently the database records remain intact in case the disabled accounts are ever reactivated, at which time presumably the links will reappear. Therein lies the reasoning behind this development.
posted by carsonb to MetaFilter-Related at 6:37 PM (81 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

*uncontacts carsonb*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:39 PM on March 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


*mopes around, missing carsonb*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:40 PM on March 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:46 PM on March 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


Yes, the reasoning behind this change is that disabled accounts do not have the ability to change the status of their connections. So it doesn't seem fair to list those connections. Active members have the ability to change their connections, and there's an expectation there that they'll keep their contact list current.

Displaying name, location, and profile photos of disabled accounts in the Full view was a mistake that we corrected. The issue with disabled accounts showing on Contacted By pages was brought up at the same time so we changed that as well. Once someone leaves the community they can't control their contact list.
posted by pb (staff) at 6:55 PM on March 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ok carson, I can't take it anymore. You're back on the contact list and I admit, it feels god to be home.

What's for dinner?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:57 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


SpiffyRob with a side order of smackfu. I'll take mine boiled. Slowly.
posted by gman at 7:00 PM on March 13, 2012


Oh, thank you. I noticed my loss of contacts and was really puzzled, since I'd had a fairly mild week, rant-wise, and couldn't figure out how I'd managed to alienate half a dozen people at once.
posted by Miko at 7:01 PM on March 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


Heh, yeah, I was like what did I dooooo?!
posted by carsonb at 7:02 PM on March 13, 2012


SpiffyRob with a side order of smackfu

I thought the dinner entree came with two sides? and where's my goddamn dinner roll?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:05 PM on March 13, 2012


One thing, pb, is that the 'Contacted By' tab still says,

94 MetaFilter users link to you (show new). Your mutual contacts and disabled accounts are highlighted.

Which isn't wholly correct/relevant any longer.
posted by carsonb at 7:05 PM on March 13, 2012


Oh, man, it turns out George Clooney disabled his account.
posted by subbes at 7:05 PM on March 13, 2012


Once someone leaves the community they can't control their contact list. --- That's what they get for leaving. Meanwhile, we can point and laugh at them.
posted by crunchland at 7:07 PM on March 13, 2012


So I have a bunch of disabled accounts that I have as contacts. If I go in and remove them and then decide later that I was rash, I don't have the ability to re-contact them again.

I don't have a point, I just wanted to talk.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:08 PM on March 13, 2012


Which isn't wholly correct/relevant any longer.

True, fixed that up.
posted by pb (staff) at 7:10 PM on March 13, 2012


I don't like it. It's too easy to forget names. Some of those names I liked seeing. Wendell was one of my contacts, for example. And now, unless one rereads every thread ever read, we will lose a lot of names, and, by extension, a lot of communal history. Well, communal history from back when it sort of was one rather than this postmodern football stadium convention center airport terminal megamall we know and fingerquote love unfingerquote today.
posted by y2karl at 7:12 PM on March 13, 2012 [10 favorites]


Your contact list in intact y2karl. So if you have a disabled account as a contact you will still see it.
posted by pb (staff) at 7:13 PM on March 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


I noticed my loss of contacts and was really puzzled, since I'd had a fairly mild week, rant-wise, and couldn't figure out how I'd managed to alienate half a dozen people at once.

Yes, exactly! I was afraid I'd said something unintentionally appalling in the Buffy thread.
posted by rtha at 7:13 PM on March 13, 2012


So I have a bunch of disabled accounts that I have as contacts. If I go in and remove them and then decide later that I was rash, I don't have the ability to re-contact them again.

That's why I haven't de-contacted them. I want to be able to find them and look for one of their comments easily. I guess you could still use user search for that? Does a disabled profile still turn up in site search under users?
posted by Miko at 7:14 PM on March 13, 2012


Does a disabled profile still turn up in site search under users?

Yes, the only change here was to the Contacted By page, and the Linked By counts on profile pages.
posted by pb (staff) at 7:16 PM on March 13, 2012


pb: So if you have a disabled account as a contact you will still see it.

But if someone who's contacted you for whatever reason disables and it wasn't mutual, that link just disappears. Which is slightly disconcerting. For those accounts that have linked me that would also cause disconcertation of myself if they were to disable, I'm going through and making it mutual. Hello new contacts, I love you!
posted by carsonb at 7:18 PM on March 13, 2012


But if someone who's contacted you for whatever reason disables and it wasn't mutual, that link just disappears.

True, but if someone uncontacts you the link just disappears too. We can't know what people with disabled accounts want.
posted by pb (staff) at 7:20 PM on March 13, 2012


Can someone just clarify: does the removal from one's "linked by" list apply only to closed accounts or to closed and deceased accounts? (Essentially, I am hoping there is a distinction between the two and that mefites who are actually dead will not be removed automatically from contact lists. That seems like an upsetting possibility.)
posted by DarlingBri at 7:21 PM on March 13, 2012


*cries* It's not fair!
posted by carsonb at 7:21 PM on March 13, 2012


We can't know what people with disabled accounts want.

MetaOuijaBoardFilter pony, olease.
posted by y2karl at 7:22 PM on March 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Er, I mean, pollease....
posted by y2karl at 7:23 PM on March 13, 2012


...does the removal from one's "linked by" list apply only to closed accounts or to closed and deceased accounts?

It applies to any disabled account. Accounts that have been marked as deceased were closed by a mod. I can understand how it would be upsetting either way—seeing the contact in lists or not seeing it. It's technically possible to treat them differently so we should think carefully about how we handle those accounts.
posted by pb (staff) at 7:28 PM on March 13, 2012


*cries* It's not fair!

Fair? Who's the fuckin' nihilist here?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:30 PM on March 13, 2012


I once felt god to be home.
posted by Ardiril at 7:37 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


And that's why you NEVER MENTION THINGS YOU NOTICE.
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:50 PM on March 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


(and always leave a note)
posted by shakespeherian at 7:53 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T TRY TO TEACH THE MODS A LESSON
posted by subbes at 7:57 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's better to burn out than fade away?
posted by mannequito at 8:03 PM on March 13, 2012


AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T YELL.
posted by killdevil at 8:03 PM on March 13, 2012


I lost ten internets in the Great Disencontacting of 2012!
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:07 PM on March 13, 2012


After further discussion we're going to roll back this change. Sorry about the hassle everyone.
posted by pb (staff) at 8:13 PM on March 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


So ... I have looked more closely at that profile thingy I filled out, and I see that 9 people have "linked" to me.

When I click on that button, I see that, suddenly, they are called Contacts on the new page which opens. I have no clue what this is for, or how to use this information. I recognize some of them, and have had conversations via Memail with some, but I am clueless about the purpose of this "feature". I see that one user has me "tagged" ( is that right?) as muse crush sweetheart. I have no idea what this is supposed to signify, or how to respond to such a public singling-out by some stranger, in entirely opposite hemispheres.

As is usual, I have no idea what is going on with any of this stuff, if someone could explain it to me, that'd be fabulous.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 8:14 PM on March 13, 2012


1. You are on the Internet.
posted by Miko at 8:16 PM on March 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


2. You've mentioned the FAQ before as a good resource, so here's the FAQ.
posted by Miko at 8:19 PM on March 13, 2012


3. Profit!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:20 PM on March 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


I didn't notice.

:(
posted by mazola at 8:21 PM on March 13, 2012


Thank you for posting this, because I noticed the drop too, and I wasn't sure I could live with the shame of publicly admitting that I had noticed.

So tempted to spouse PareidoliaticBoy roght now.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:22 PM on March 13, 2012


Wait, what?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:22 PM on March 13, 2012


*right*
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:22 PM on March 13, 2012


Thanks, Miko. Mentioning doesn't mean I've actually read it.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 8:23 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


This change has been undone. Disabled accounts will appear on Contacted By pages and in the Linked By counts on profile pages.
posted by pb (staff) at 8:24 PM on March 13, 2012


Thanks for being so flexible on this, pb.
posted by grouse at 8:29 PM on March 13, 2012


I can see pros and cons on both sides of the 'change/don't change' thing. <3 pb.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:30 PM on March 13, 2012


So, here's another idiot question.

How is that, no matter what time, or which day it is, whenever anyone raises any issue which involves the coding of this site, this "PB" person shows up, usually within minutes?

Explain that.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 8:33 PM on March 13, 2012


pb, it probably doesn't need to be said, but your work is much appreciated, especially in light of a avalanche of implications that each small change brings to the community.

I did think for a second, though, that I must have said something to really irritate four people all at the same time.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:34 PM on March 13, 2012


Dammit. Now all my numbers are screwy again. Just after I'd fixed them!
posted by heyho at 8:53 PM on March 13, 2012


I think the "Contacts" feature should have an opt-out.
posted by cribcage at 9:00 PM on March 13, 2012


SpiffyRob, boy detective.
posted by adamdschneider at 9:08 PM on March 13, 2012


After further discussion we're going to roll back this change.

That was kind of neat. I was looking at my profile page, was puzzled by the drop in contacts, hit "reload," and bang, the number went back up.
posted by Forktine at 9:08 PM on March 13, 2012


couldn't figure out how I'd managed to alienate half a dozen people at once

from lifelong personal experience i must say it is surprisingly easy
posted by elizardbits at 9:32 PM on March 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


After further discussion we're going to roll back this change.

Hey that's great! As long as we're discussing this stuff on MetaTalk, though, anyone participating in that discussion care to update this discussion with some, like, minutes or something? Why change back?
posted by carsonb at 9:57 PM on March 13, 2012


Why change back?

Because it wasn't thought all the way through, had unforseen circumstances, and we need to talk about it more to figure out the best way to ensure that users who have been banned or have died have what seems to be the proper relationships/links on their profile pages.

In short: this has been a crazy week with only one daytime mod reliably at home for the entire time [and I was sleeping on her couch half that time] and it wasn't the best time to make what seemed like a small change that turned out to be a bigger deal than we thought it would be.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:00 PM on March 13, 2012


OK, thanks!
posted by carsonb at 10:02 PM on March 13, 2012


elizardbits: "couldn't figure out how I'd managed to alienate half a dozen people at once
from lifelong personal experience i must say it is surprisingly easy
"

Yeah, if you're only alienating half a dozen, you haven't really got the knack yet.
posted by dg at 10:11 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Thanks for undoing. Just because I lost a few spouses I don't want their headstones to vanish.
I know, I know, losing one spouse seems like bad luck, but losing several looks like carelessness.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:15 PM on March 13, 2012


i think i'm so confused
posted by chococat at 10:19 PM on March 13, 2012


Pineapple dynamite luge!
posted by Afroblanco at 11:23 PM on March 13, 2012


Pineapple dynamite luge!

Are we doing anagrams again?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:26 PM on March 13, 2012


...
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:12 AM on March 14, 2012


If we keep this up, I can easily imagine pb as a nervous wreck, terrified to make any decisions whatsoever, hiding in the corner somewhere. "Change?! Change is bad," he'll mutter to himself. "Change is when the commenters come after me!"

At some point, his spirit animal (lets say flying squirrel) will whisper in his ear the sage words "Not changing is also a choice." Where we go from there is a choice left entirely up to pb.
posted by Ghidorah at 12:40 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


a humble nudibranch: " losing one spouse seems like bad luck, but losing several looks like carelessness."

Have you checked behind the couch cushions?
posted by arcticseal at 12:40 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah, I noticed yesterday that my contacts count had dropped and I assumed it was just me. I spent a few minutes trying to recall if I'd posted something likely to have caused a shunning, because that seemed the most likely explanation. Glad to know it wasn't that.
posted by Decani at 4:54 AM on March 14, 2012


If you see something, say nothing.
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:34 AM on March 14, 2012


OK. My number of contacts linking to me just went up by 37 and it's not because I have 37 new spouses.
posted by Miko at 8:27 AM on March 14, 2012



I lost a contact once
in a skillet
full of scrambed eggs
I was cooking for breakfast

I rinsed it off
in my mouth
and popped it right back
in my eye

Forgive me
The eggs were delicious
So hot
And so greasy
 
posted by Herodios at 9:48 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I actually think when people disable their account, they should be able to leave some sort of message on their profile page -- and they should be able to log in and change it, even while their account is disabled.

So what if they want to write a "fuck all y'all" message? It's not like they're posting it in a thread and derailing a conversation. You have to actually go to their profile page to see it, so if you don't want to see it, don't go to their profile page.

I think it would be really useful to the community to know why someone left. If anything, it would cut down on the "Why did X leave?" MeTa posts. Even a "fuck all y'all" message would tell us, "okay, this person left mid-tiff" which is actually useful information.
posted by Afroblanco at 9:50 AM on March 14, 2012


It's technically possible to treat them differently so we should think carefully about how we handle those accounts.

Thanks, pb. I know the closed accounts position has been reversed since I asked that question, but I concur that this aspect needs thought. I would vote for keeping the linkage to and from deceased contacts intact.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:51 AM on March 14, 2012


I actually think when people disable their account, they should be able to leave some sort of message on their profile page -- and they should be able to log in and change it, even while their account is disabled.

One of the reasons we implemented this was because one of the "fuck y'all" comments that someone left was basically a gross pseudo-rapey comment about me personally and that is why you can't have nice things. People sometimes get icked out by totally inappropriate profile page content and while we're happy to work this sort of thing out with active users, we have no such leverage with non-active users and we don't want closed profile pages to become some sort of performance art space. When you are not a user anymore you do not get access to the resources of the site and this includes having a profile page.

We're happy to let people know if someone gave some indication why they were leaving and we don't at all mind when people ask what happened to a user, but it's sort of on you if you still want to be in touch with people here, to give them a way to find and contact you.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:01 AM on March 14, 2012


jess : I get that, and thanks for the explanation. Still, I don't see why you couldn't just delete "goodbye" messages that are deemed beyond the pale. Inappropriate comments get deleted from threads all the time. You could even have flags on profile pages, so that people could flag profiles if they're offended by the content.

I do realize this would create some amount of extra work for the MeFi staff, so I could understand why you just wouldn't want to mess with it.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:11 AM on March 14, 2012


The only thing I'd like to see remain on a closed account is an email address, if the mefite wanted to leave one (like, if they closed it temporarily for non-fuck-you-all reasons, they might want people to still be able to get in touch).

Otherwise, though, I think if you close your account, your former space should require zero mod or mefite attention. Nobody should have to keep an eye out for bitter flameouts leaving fuck-off-and-die messages or the like.
posted by rtha at 10:47 AM on March 14, 2012


Prolly there would have to be some kind of email-confirming system in place with that, so ragequitters couldn't leave stuff like "iplantokill$_USER@deathmurderstab.com" and whatnot. Otherwise, maybe an additional tickybox like the "display email to members" with a "display on disabled" option that only shows up when you close your account?
posted by elizardbits at 10:57 AM on March 14, 2012


Actually, I think it'd be interesting to watch peoples' goodbye statuses change over time. They'd start with "fuck all y'all", and that would later become "well, fuck some of y'all", and then later "well, I was just really angry, and here is why", and then finally "hey, I changed my username : [link to new profile]"

I do tend to wonder how many people quit in a tiff vs. people who quit for other reasons (e.g. life events, don't have enough time, etc.). But I guess that's a question only a mod could answer.

I've thought of quitting but never have, mostly because I know I'd miss AskMe.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:04 PM on March 14, 2012


Still, I don't see why you couldn't just delete "goodbye" messages that are deemed beyond the pale.

We currently don't even have a mod mechanism to edit profile pages on the mod side and I think it's a terrible precedent to set. If you need to have a "fuck y'all" message on your profile page, you can simply not close your account and keep it there as long as you want. Otherwise people who have left the community are considered non-members and we don't build tools for them or want to add any additional mechanism for them that would take up mod time.

In general we wanted to allow users to disable their own accounts because it seems to be a situation where if you're pissed enough to want to close your account, having to get a mod to act as mediator would be double-plus annoying. That said, this isn't something we really expected people to use on and off as more of a time-out situation for themselves (and we've been talking about whether we should build a tool for this use of the "close your account" feature or not) much less an "I need to keep myself from posting but it's still important for me to get a message to the community" situation.

Again, the easiest way to get a message that you're taking some time off is to leave a message in your profile saying so and then not disable your account. I have mentioned before that there is a story about willpower that I think is relevant to this situation. Not everything needs a site based solution.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:12 PM on March 14, 2012


Again, the easiest way to get a message that you're taking some time off is to leave a message in your profile saying so and then not disable your account. I have mentioned before that there is a story about willpower that I think is relevant to this situation. Not everything needs a site based solution.

And I totally get that. In fact, I've taken at least two self-imposed vacations myself, and have never felt the need to delete my account. Only reason I'm bringing this up is because I'd like to read the "goodbye" messages of other users.

But I understand why it isn't going to happen. No big deal. This isn't something I feel strongly about.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:17 PM on March 14, 2012


Oh yes, threads about long gone users are completely welcome on mefi -

* alights from naval vessel transporting Musa acuminata up the Clyde*
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:13 PM on March 14, 2012


Did we also lose favourites we may have made of their comments? I haven't had the time required yet to go trawling through my favourites to check if they are still there. I hope so, as some of the contacts I added were because I wanted to be able to find the amazing comment that made me add them to my list and/or look for other amazing comments they may have made when they were here.

I miss Greek Philosophy :(

I also noticed that I lost some favourites, did these also 'die' in the great purge? [Cry me a river, I know. Just curious.]
posted by honey-barbara at 2:57 AM on March 15, 2012


There have been no changes to favorites or favorite counts. Someone might be unfavoriting a bunch of things—we've heard some others mention that.
posted by pb (staff) at 8:28 AM on March 15, 2012


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