What do Mefites do for a living?

June 25, 2003 10:00 AM

What do Mefites do for a living? I know we have just over A Trio Of Librarians, but is there a "most common" choice of career for a Metafilter member, or are most of us unemployed?
I imagine we have a gaggle of programmers & web designers, but are there any welders, boat builders, porn stars, farmers or bassoonists out there? What's the least common profession for a member?
I swear this was discussed once, I couldn’t seem to find it, but maybe it’s time to discuss again?
posted by Blake to MetaFilter-Related at 10:00 AM (253 comments total)

You mean the rest of you don't get paid to post here? WTF?
posted by soyjoy at 10:16 AM on June 25, 2003

I work in marketing, which is like being a porn star, in that a crew of people film my daily marketing exploits and then sell the films to other people so they can masturbate while watching them.
posted by jonson at 10:26 AM on June 25, 2003

My title is "Director of Operations" - I like the fuzzy nature of that title and requested it myself.
posted by dhacker at 10:32 AM on June 25, 2003

I currently buy stuff for a living. It's nowhere near as fun as it sounds.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:36 AM on June 25, 2003

I herd birds.
posted by birdherder at 10:37 AM on June 25, 2003

I'm a science tech at a school, but will be starting teacher training (in ICT, natch) in September.
posted by crustygeek at 10:37 AM on June 25, 2003

IT pays the bills, and I'm an archaeologist on the side. Unlike PST's occupation, archaeology is definitely as fun as it sounds.
posted by The Michael The at 10:41 AM on June 25, 2003

I'm an efficient exchanger of oxygen and carbon dioxide.
posted by Jughead at 10:41 AM on June 25, 2003 [1 favorite]

I get paid to stealth market products to Metafilter for a number of clients such as Apple and TiVo.


Wait, I'm sorry, forget I said that.
posted by Stan Chin at 10:41 AM on June 25, 2003

PinkStainlessTail, I feel your pain. I buy electrical supplies, it is not exactly something kids grow up wanting to do.
posted by allpaws at 10:48 AM on June 25, 2003

i am a database programmer, and despite the sound of that, it's pretty fun.
posted by moz at 10:58 AM on June 25, 2003

I design and implement helpdesk software.

Yes, there are actually people making a living from that, I find it amazing as well.
posted by sebas at 11:00 AM on June 25, 2003

My dark secret is that I am (gasp!) a law student, clerking at a law firm this summer. Don't tell the other guys, k?
posted by adrober at 11:06 AM on June 25, 2003

I'm an office octopus.
posted by debralee at 11:10 AM on June 25, 2003

I am Spartacus.
posted by Ljubljana at 11:10 AM on June 25, 2003

My dark secret is that I am (gasp!) a law student, clerking at a law firm this summer.

Join the club...
posted by norm at 11:10 AM on June 25, 2003

Freelance Graphic Designer for television, by which I mean largely unemployed...

Stay at home dad...

Bon vivant...
posted by jpburns at 11:13 AM on June 25, 2003

My official title is "Web Manager", which means I am both a Project Manager, and a Webmaster... Oh, and a Help Desk person, and a trainer, etc... Basically I read Metafilter and blog all day. That pretty much sums it up.
posted by greengrl at 11:13 AM on June 25, 2003

I'm a college student, and a defense industry software engineering intern. I write code that kills babies, and robs foreign nations of their wealth.

Or maybe I just kill bugs in simulator software...
posted by SweetJesus at 11:16 AM on June 25, 2003

I'm a famous Portuguese writer.
posted by dgaicun at 11:22 AM on June 25, 2003

I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.
posted by jonmc at 11:25 AM on June 25, 2003

I'm dgaicun's good friend from Brazil, but I don't speak English very well.
posted by yhbc at 11:27 AM on June 25, 2003

dgaicun, Stop lying. There are no famous Portugese writers.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:27 AM on June 25, 2003

i'm a coffee and beer drinker and cigarette smoker. the pay isn't good but the benefits! gah!
posted by poopy at 11:29 AM on June 25, 2003

part-time ultimate pantologist
posted by y2karl at 11:33 AM on June 25, 2003

I invented the phrase "Lick 'em and stick 'em!" and now I live luxuriously on the constant stream of royalty checks.
posted by UncleFes at 11:57 AM on June 25, 2003

I work in the Insertion department of jonmc's company.

it's very disturbing...
posted by COBRA! at 11:59 AM on June 25, 2003

But better than Collections, right?
posted by y2karl at 12:04 PM on June 25, 2003

But better than Collections, right?

Depends on the animal.



I also moonlight as Matt Drudge's fact checker.
posted by COBRA! at 12:07 PM on June 25, 2003

I am El Colacho. I terrorize the children.
no se mueva y nadie está lastimada!
posted by eddydamascene at 12:11 PM on June 25, 2003

I write developer documentation for an Internet technology company. Unlike end users, developers actually read the doc. It's so nice to have an audience after all these years.
posted by kindall at 12:12 PM on June 25, 2003

Grad student. Feh.
posted by oflinkey at 12:15 PM on June 25, 2003

Health policy wonk/webmaster, med student starting this fall.
posted by gramcracker at 12:15 PM on June 25, 2003

33 posts in and no smug bastard is on here bragging that they work in the porn industry.

I work for my dad. Err, I'm employed by my dad to run his company. Sinecure city, baby.
posted by vito90 at 12:17 PM on June 25, 2003

I write travel guidebooks.

To pay the bills I sit at a desk all day and read Metafilter edit an ecology journal.
posted by gottabefunky at 12:19 PM on June 25, 2003

international jewel thief here

actually, production for magazines...same thing, right?
posted by amberglow at 12:21 PM on June 25, 2003

I manage education databases and drink a lot. One tends to lead to the other.
posted by squealy at 12:26 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a bassoon playing porn star.

Ok, I work for a major insurance company as a communications analyst in the learning and development department.
posted by tr33hggr at 12:38 PM on June 25, 2003

graphic designer for a small business college.
posted by goddam at 12:44 PM on June 25, 2003

I work on the trading floor of an investment bank. For now.
posted by widdershins at 12:49 PM on June 25, 2003

Professional assclown.
posted by Dark Messiah at 12:50 PM on June 25, 2003

I have been a whore for the great Sam Walton Empire of Doom for almost 4 years. One day I will get a real job.
posted by chiababe at 12:56 PM on June 25, 2003

I do colouring in.

I don't do nearly as much colouring in as I used to, but it was a nice little earner once.

Actually, I reconstitute brightly coloured cartoon animals.
posted by Grangousier at 1:02 PM on June 25, 2003

Video Game Translator
posted by angry modem at 1:14 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm your pusher. (Sounds cooler than "pharmacist.")
posted by mokujin at 1:22 PM on June 25, 2003

'Mature' grad student (I took about 14 years off). My main interest is in learning how to do qualitative usability studies of computer/communication technologies.
posted by carter at 1:25 PM on June 25, 2003

First I was a Lead Software Architect. Then I was the unemployed guy. Now I'm the IT Manager for a law firm in Austin. Note the constant downward progression.

I also write things. I wrote this, and then there's something I wrote in this. You can read something I wrote here, even though the illustrations are bad. But I'm not famous or Portuguese, so dgaicun totally kicks my ass on that front.
posted by vraxoin at 1:26 PM on June 25, 2003

Count me in as a dining hall employee at UGA going on my 3rd year of studies.
posted by jmd82 at 1:29 PM on June 25, 2003

I get paid by the Portuguese Tourist Board to create awareness of Portugal among cynical American web freaks - I get paid $100 every time a legit foreigner mentions my country or nationality on MetaFilter. But only $50 if someone spells Portuguese without a U, like PnkStanlessTal. Still, that's $250 just today!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:30 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm in public relations -- it's better than it sounds!

I'm also a freelance journalist, so I routinely hang up on myself.
posted by me3dia at 1:30 PM on June 25, 2003

I watch.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:31 PM on June 25, 2003

Freelance cartoonist and animator. Or, what jpburns said.

Miguel, I would assume you get paid by the word, right? ;)
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:33 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a statutory rapist.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:37 PM on June 25, 2003

Hide the states, er, statues!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:42 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a famous Portuguese writer.

And I'm his friend, and though my english isn't very good, he posts all my messages for me (when he isn't falling-down drunk).

Together, we fight crime!
posted by crunchland at 1:43 PM on June 25, 2003

Project communications director for a corporate behemoth. Which, beneath the bombastic title, means that I'm an overpaid copy editor.
posted by clever sheep at 1:43 PM on June 25, 2003

I am Spartacus.

No....I am Spartacus...

I'm greedy...I have two jobs...I manage a computer helpdesk of sorts....and I am a DJ in club...
posted by mattr at 1:44 PM on June 25, 2003

By day, I'm a mild-mannered homosexual male, at night, I don my fluffy pink bunny slippers and become AUGUSTA WIND, mistress of the trade winds! And also shopping at Z Gallerie!
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:44 PM on June 25, 2003

Then I kill.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:44 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a tracer.


I manage to keep my head above water doing freelance internet consulting.
posted by Mick at 1:45 PM on June 25, 2003

I coordinate/ manage/ troubleshoot/ answer questions about a very big huge enormous heavily-trafficked government website that you either know and love and depend upon or have never heard of and can't imagine ever using.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:47 PM on June 25, 2003

I AM BATMAN!
posted by padraigin at 1:53 PM on June 25, 2003

My current position involves hurrying up and waiting. Also, my interest in watching paint dry has come in handy here.

Actually, I do it all here: tinker with the server, do cost analyses, load trucks, clean the bathrooms, you name it and I've done it.

A jack of all trades and a master of none - fits me to a T.
posted by deadcowdan at 1:53 PM on June 25, 2003

Then I eat.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:53 PM on June 25, 2003

Magician {poof}
posted by Witty at 1:54 PM on June 25, 2003

But seriously: Former director of operations at a failed tech company (that didn't fail on my watch), now a stay-at-home mom.

And of course there's that novel I'm working on.
posted by padraigin at 1:54 PM on June 25, 2003

in reality:

Database developer for an art museum/freelance writer/comic-book reviewer
posted by COBRA! at 1:58 PM on June 25, 2003

Web geek (producer, actually, but some development stuff too) for ibm.com. Been here for over two years now.

But not for much longer: I really like the job, but will be forced to give it up when I move to Los Angeles this fall to be with my soon-to-be-hubby, who lives there. Apparently the one job that you can do from anywhere in the world--web work--you can't: according to Big Blue, we have to be physically present in the building. So, I'll be unemployed starting in early August, which will at least give me time to go do wedding preparations stuff (i.e. go to the gym and drop those pesky ten pounds) and start packing for the move.

Any New York web geeks who want to follow in my footsteps, here's your big chance.
posted by Asparagirl at 2:26 PM on June 25, 2003

i'm about to resign.
posted by andrew cooke at 2:29 PM on June 25, 2003

What, am I the only one round here with a job in the real world? ie, I am a Social Services Personal Advisor to teens leaving the care system (like you couldn't tell - we're all anarcho-commie puppy killers who eat tax dollars for lunch, y'know)
posted by dash_slot- at 2:30 PM on June 25, 2003

Asparagirl, the one MeFi-er in my zip code is leaving. Weep!

I am, in fact, a Porn Star at ThreeWay Action.
posted by astruc at 2:43 PM on June 25, 2003

I've been job hunting for so long I'm losing the ability to do it. Dozens of emails come in from KitList each day and I can't push DEL fast enough. Someone send me a winning lottery ticket please.

And dash_slot, even when I was employed it was not in what you laughingly call the real world.

Though I did use to write for $$$, and one of my closest friends speaks Portuguese quite well. Sadly, I'm not famous except in my wife's mind.
posted by billsaysthis at 2:49 PM on June 25, 2003

Just kidding mate. Been unemployed... I know what it's like [way to bring it down...]
posted by dash_slot- at 2:52 PM on June 25, 2003

I've been Kool-Aid Man, a summer camp director, an ad designer, a musician, a network administrator, and now a Web Designer. I also do freelance design (ads, web pages, etc) whenever I can.
posted by mkelley at 2:55 PM on June 25, 2003

astruc-

Whoa, reading your blog just now (this entry in particular), I think you may actually live in my building. I can't reach yours or any other wireless networks from my apartment, but I think I know the NY Times reporter you mean.

So, how many times have you run into the ex-mayor-who-lives-upstairs lately?
posted by Asparagirl at 2:57 PM on June 25, 2003

Ha, no I don't live in your building. We have an ex-sportscaster, the aforementioned reporter, and an old (read: ancient) CBS talking head. No ex-mayors.
posted by astruc at 3:01 PM on June 25, 2003

Oh. We've also got a FOX 5 anchor (makes sense, since FOX 5 is basically across the street) and a different NY Times reporter and rumors of Sigourney Weaver (my mom swears she saw her). And me.
posted by Asparagirl at 3:04 PM on June 25, 2003

(No, mom does not live there, too. She was visiting. Just had to ward off that "lives with her parents" vibe it might have sent.)
posted by Asparagirl at 3:05 PM on June 25, 2003

Watashi wa robotto kogaku no gakusei desu.

I program AIBO robots as part of my Ph.D research.
posted by tss at 3:09 PM on June 25, 2003

I am El Nino!

All other tropical storms bow before me! For those of you who don't habla espanol, "El Nino" is Spanish for..... The Nino!
posted by keswick at 3:25 PM on June 25, 2003

If I told you what I do for a living, I'd have to kill you.
posted by wobh at 3:31 PM on June 25, 2003

Another Director of Operations here, for an international college (I also chose the title for its important, yet ill-defined sound). Before that, I have been an IT Manager, International Marketing Manager, Registrar, Receptionist and, in a previous life, a boat builder.
posted by dg at 3:34 PM on June 25, 2003

I grade essay portions of standardized tests. And even though I do that, I'm still going for my teaching license in English/Language Arts.
posted by ferociouskitty at 3:45 PM on June 25, 2003

hm, the gf is an mm at ets, fk
posted by y2karl at 3:48 PM on June 25, 2003

I used to be a beer-drinking layabout. That was fun. Now I'm an editor. Not so much fun, but I get to read MeFi at work, so it's all good.

And since quonsar's not here to do it, I'll tell you myself that he's a designated ass-talker.
posted by languagehat at 3:50 PM on June 25, 2003

I do market research (in the phone-calling portion of the process, not the smug analysis portion), but I prefer to refer to the section of my resume which features me as a programmer for a now-failed dotcom.
posted by cortex at 3:52 PM on June 25, 2003

My official title is Administrative Assistant at a small Christian non-profit. Unofficially, I am the Receptionist, IT, Desktop Publisher, Graphic Designer, HelpDesk, Web Developer, and Office Gopher.

But really, like greengirl, I do web design and blog all day.
posted by rhapsodie at 4:12 PM on June 25, 2003

I guess the pattern here is mostly a reluctance to mention one's job title. :) Me, I'm a proofreader for the Maine State Legislature. But I've had some personal crises, so I'm job hunting out of state. I've been a librarian myself, but really I'm mostly an editor type.
posted by JanetLand at 4:23 PM on June 25, 2003

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king. I was a ticket taker on the magic bus. I put power in flowers. I was the first white Ikette. I was the art director for the Plaster Casters. I was a quality control tester for the Owsley Acid company. I morphed from yippie to yuppie and then became a slob (single living over budget).

I used to do what jonson does until I got laid off. Now I freelance and do just about whatever pays including both things that m3dia does (haha, well put) and some of what languagehat does. I also do a lot of things that don't pay at all. Need it done? I just might do it. Ask me.
posted by madamjujujive at 4:27 PM on June 25, 2003

Wow, so many computer people on Metafilter.

I translate Japanese into English and Engrish into English at home. I miss people
posted by dydecker at 4:35 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a hit man. I kill people for money.

But that was the old me.

Now I'm a web developer. An employed web developer.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:36 PM on June 25, 2003

So, what's Ike really like, madamjujujive?
posted by timeistight at 4:42 PM on June 25, 2003

i eat cannibals.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:55 PM on June 25, 2003

I am trapped in an adult sweat-creche 10 hours a day making stuff for moneybags clients who should really know better by now.
posted by elphTeq at 4:58 PM on June 25, 2003

I do everything, all the time.
posted by Fabulon7 at 5:04 PM on June 25, 2003

I am an acting teacher and improvisor. I get paid to do both. Every morning I wake up and hit myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. I'm not, but now my face is swollen.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:09 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a student in Montreal. I will be an author. During the summers, I work at places like here My life is a never-ending delight.
posted by Marquis at 5:13 PM on June 25, 2003

I co-founded a couple of software companies... including one of the very first (I think it was the first, but I'm not willing to go out on a limb for it) to create and market software that let folks buy and sell stuff online. Of course, we were so early that we were pre-bubble.

*sigh*

Now I do brand development work for small companies, non-profits, and neighborhoods.

When I grow up, I want to found a university.
posted by silusGROK at 5:14 PM on June 25, 2003

Grad student, belatedly, after many years as single mother and secretary. I made more money as a secretary, but I never got to talk about Derrida.

I'm the president of my Housing Cooperative board of directors right now, too. I get paid in karma.

I'm also a kick ass receptionist, but have refused to take the Universe's hint as far as that goes. And I once worked for a year as a cook's helper on oil rigs in Northern Alberta, but I was not nearly as good at that.

I write, and blog, too...
posted by jokeefe at 5:27 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a student, currently working as a film projectionist and acting on the side.
posted by dazed_one at 5:28 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a grue
posted by bonaldi at 5:31 PM on June 25, 2003

I work for an architectural firm doing drawings and processing permits and meeting with contractors and stuff. Almost an architect myself, but not licensed.
posted by LionIndex at 5:36 PM on June 25, 2003

timeistight: ok, I lied about the Ikette part.
I was actually one of the Dawn with Tony Orlando but I hate to brag.
posted by madamjujujive at 5:36 PM on June 25, 2003

My official title is Database Administrator (that's what the contract says), but what I actually do is track and help manage the capital expenditure budget for a division of a huge corporation. I do a lot of detective work in financial systems and collate a lot of information. It's not the most exciting job in the world, but I'm apparently good at it, as this is the third job I've had that's dealt largely with finances. I'm constantly sort of staggered by that, as my degree is English and I never thought I was good at math, but I guess I am. In the past, I've worked in both the account management and media sides of advertising, and I was briefly involved in program evaluation at a non-profit. I'd like to get a MLIS one of these days, though.
posted by eilatan at 5:37 PM on June 25, 2003

Web Developer. Currently client side (javascript, standards compliant XHTML/CSS), but formerly server-side using open source databases and programming languages that begin with P (Perl, PHP, Python, and, believe it or not, Prolog).

I would probably kill to get a job doing something professional but non-technical.
posted by weston at 5:41 PM on June 25, 2003

Or even to use my math degree.
posted by weston at 5:41 PM on June 25, 2003

I am so bummed as to not be in Blake's count of MeFi librarians (thanks a lot, Blake!) and am called the "tech goddess" by some at work, for my ability to fix network and printing problems (er, most of the time). I must confess that I am also a writer (weekly column in one of the local fishwraps) and I have contributed backing vocals, mandolin lines and production ideas to various recordings over the years. And that's just the paid stuff....
posted by Lynsey at 5:45 PM on June 25, 2003

Ack! Sorry Lynsey! I guess there's a bunch of us around here?!
posted by Blake at 5:53 PM on June 25, 2003

Oh, right - I forgot - I'm unemployed every summer, since I am a school librarian. So I usually get cashier work in one of the local little stores - I'll be starting here on Friday for my 12th summer, selling beer and ice, fishing bait and lures, crab pots, ice cream, etc....
posted by Lynsey at 5:56 PM on June 25, 2003

Cat burglar.

I like to steal their little squeaky toys.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:04 PM on June 25, 2003

magazine editor.
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:24 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm an electrician. I build buildings. Can also weld. Currently unemployed.
posted by scottymac at 6:33 PM on June 25, 2003

Architect (the real kind, not Systems- or Information-) Web / multimedia design. Freelance once again, thank jebus, after 2 years in a (gack) steady job.
posted by signal at 6:37 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a Viking ... no, really!
posted by Wulfgar! at 6:42 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a landscaper. I used to be a dot.com millionaire ten-thousandaire. Database and application design. I have no interest in groveling to find a job doing that for a quarter of what I used to make. Now I work outside in the fresh air (and cold, and rain, and, the past two days, sweltering heat and humidity). My muscles ripple and I could take any of you in a fight if it came to that. Let's hope it doesn't.
posted by TimeFactor at 6:49 PM on June 25, 2003

my last real job that I applied for was riverboat captain

(I'm not kidding)
posted by clavdivs at 6:57 PM on June 25, 2003

I shape young minds, and make small things. I try not to mix the two up.
posted by Wet Spot at 7:01 PM on June 25, 2003

If I told you what I do for a living, I'd have to kill myself.
posted by wendell at 7:04 PM on June 25, 2003

I bag groceries and took them to people's car.
posted by philcliff at 7:13 PM on June 25, 2003

I bag people and steal their car and groceries.
posted by wendell at 7:17 PM on June 25, 2003

I've been wondering what those screems were
posted by philcliff at 7:20 PM on June 25, 2003

Domestic engineer and unemployed (Never to be employed in that field) social worker.
posted by tonelesscereal at 7:31 PM on June 25, 2003

Independent consultant, advising clients on user-centered design for Web, application and device interfaces, and (most interestingly) for architectural and urban environments.

It's the best job in the world and I love it, except for the endless meetings. When I was a bike messenger, I didn't have meetings.
posted by adamgreenfield at 7:39 PM on June 25, 2003

I get paid to sit and stare at a monitor, waiting for something to break. When it breaks, I fix it. Every so often, a bell rings and I can take a cracker from a bowl just outside my cubicle.

I prefer Wheat Thins, but nobody seems to care...
posted by JaxJaggywires at 7:40 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm merely an assistant librarian.
posted by mcsweetie at 7:56 PM on June 25, 2003

My official title is "Operations Assistant." Some days it means I'm the world's biggest peon; other days it means I'm God. (Not that I have a deity complex, because I don't.) Previously, I worked in human resources, repaired video arcade games, and rolled pretzels.
posted by fredosan at 7:59 PM on June 25, 2003

I forgot - I also run a small IT consultancy on the side, sit on the board of an ITAB and, in my spare time, have a voluntary (therefore unpaid) job as a sports administrator.
posted by dg at 8:01 PM on June 25, 2003

I help people with disabilities find jobs, but sometimes I think about being Bob the Builder.
posted by jaronson at 8:07 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm an assistant professor of English in the SUNY system.
posted by thomas j wise at 8:13 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a VP with a large trans-national media empire.

I make sure your children always have something to watch on television.
posted by Argyle at 8:16 PM on June 25, 2003

Adult film actor. Seriously.
posted by Hildago at 8:24 PM on June 25, 2003

My badge says "Clinical Nurse, Surgical Services". Translated--Registered Nurse in the Operating Room. Think Major Margaret "Hotlips" Houlihan from MASH. ;-)
posted by RunsWithBandageScissors at 8:40 PM on June 25, 2003

I draw pictures and put up with people.
posted by furiousthought at 9:21 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm a "consultant". Or something.
posted by bshort at 9:21 PM on June 25, 2003

My badge says "Clinical Nurse, Surgical Services". Translated--Registered Nurse in the Operating Room. Think Major Margaret "Hotlips" Houlihan from MASH. ;-)

That reminds me of my mom, who's a "Clinical Nurse Expert." I know she's a RN, but doesn't actually work on patients anymore...after like 10 years, I still don't have a clue in hell what her fancy titles means.
posted by jmd82 at 10:06 PM on June 25, 2003

weston: you mean someone found a practical application for Prolog? Outside of academia?
posted by cortex at 10:39 PM on June 25, 2003

I grease pigs.
posted by greasepig at 11:12 PM on June 25, 2003

I'm an assistant professor of English in the SUNY system.

TJ, not that it's a legitimate job, or anything, but you're also my mom's favorite mefite (well, she'd say it was ME, but she lies to preserve my feelings), based upon your FPP's. Mom's a professor of medieval history, and has spent her career evenly divided between the rare book collections of Paris, Oxford & the UC system here in California.
posted by jonson at 11:53 PM on June 25, 2003

I love being a house husband. Iwish I could afford it.
posted by scottymac at 12:08 AM on June 26, 2003

I'm currently a graduate student studying law and neuroscience. (read: I have a substantial negative income.)

During undergrad I worked as a software engineer for a defense contractor. I've also been a graphic designer, a PC hardware techie, and a 'researcher' in a spatial ecology laboratory.
posted by darainwa at 12:16 AM on June 26, 2003

Hi. I'm, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I -- and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings. . .I work at Kentucky Fried Chicken. I sell biscuits and gravy all over the Southlands.

Actually, no. I'm an Editor/Producer at a certain cable news network's New York bureau. I'm essentially a video editor for our shows that originate in New York, as well as for general New York-area coverage. Before that, I worked in the Atlanta HQ doing essentially the same thing.

I've also worked at a couple of TV stations doing everything from lighting to studio camera to floor directing to tuning in satellites. Plus there was all the temping and internships during college, during which I got really good at unjamming copiers. I also spent ten months selling hotel rooms -- dial 1-800-HOLIDAY east of the Mississippi, and you got me. (That particular experience was what made me decide that everyone should spend at least six months working retail.)

If I could do anything? Something involving lots of travel, perhaps. If I won the lottery, I'd probably travel constantly or try to be a freelance travel writer. Being a TV news shooter would be cool, too, if I could be based somewhere interesting. (I haven't gotten to go out too much, but my field assignments (in Florida, DC, and LA) have been my favorite projects so far...it's so great when there's a big news story that the world is watching, and you get paid to go stand in the middle of it.)

(by the way, any of you web designers want to give me a quote on a Movable Type blog design? If so, E-mail me.)
posted by Vidiot at 12:30 AM on June 26, 2003

Was this post an attempt to catch Midas Mulligan unawares? Doesn't look like it's worked if so...
posted by bifter at 1:41 AM on June 26, 2003

I chase cars that pass my house. One of them, one day, will have Dallas Blue, who used to pick on me, at the wheel. Then we'll see who wants an indian burn, mother fucker.

(Grad student, teacher, lay-about)
posted by squirrel at 2:13 AM on June 26, 2003

seeing as the rest of you are putting your hands up , i'll put mine up to acting too...
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:40 AM on June 26, 2003

IT (design and testing) in the day, music in the evenings/weekends - teaching, playing, singing, conducting, composing/arranging. Used to be a [secondary school music and IT] teacher but didn't like the taste of SSRIs...
posted by monkey closet at 3:01 AM on June 26, 2003

I go door to door and tell people that the environment is fucked, and then ask for money so we can fix it. The economics of my organization are very strange, but apparently very effective, as we tend to win on the issues we fight for. In other words, I work to ressurect democracy and give individuals a voice in their state political system, thereby shorting out the current system of back-room deals and unnoticed campaign contributions.

I am confident that my job is well in line with the noble eight-fold path.
posted by kaibutsu at 3:11 AM on June 26, 2003

I genetically engineer scottish cows.
posted by Frasermoo at 3:38 AM on June 26, 2003

Well, kaibutsu, according to the y2karl Does It In Any Sense Involve Robbing Widows? occupational inventory, you are in fine shape.
posted by y2karl at 3:44 AM on June 26, 2003

I'm a Dance Studio Director and love every minute of it.
posted by Tarrama at 3:55 AM on June 26, 2003

I'm a researcher for the RIAA. Mwa hah ha hah.
posted by seanyboy at 3:57 AM on June 26, 2003

Currently, in order of time taken in the week...

1. Head of Design *and* IT for a publishing co. [a constant fight for left & right brain]
2. Property Developer
3. Head of hand made luxury goods import/distribution co.
4. DJ/Musician

1. is the desk job & for that reason alone will be terminated with extreme prejudice before the end of the year. Pays the bills.
2. is the most lucrative & hardest physical work. Will become #1 next year.
3. is a long-term project which will probobly come to fruition Q3 next year & is a good excuse for international travel (as 1. gets the bullet)
4. Has been seriously good fun over the years but is on sabbatical until time allows total dedication again.

Yer all a bunch of slackers as far as I'm concerned ;-)
posted by i_cola at 4:09 AM on June 26, 2003

As little as possible.
posted by walrus at 5:02 AM on June 26, 2003

I handle back-end software for a pharmaceutical advertising firm (no, I don't get free samples). I also periodically wonder how The Michael The has enough time to post here during work hours, and then think I need to give him more work...
posted by mkultra at 5:09 AM on June 26, 2003

I am a slacker London playwright. It's great, thanks.
posted by klaatu at 5:10 AM on June 26, 2003

I used to know how to actually develop software, but then my skills got obsolete and I found out I could get paid for just talking about it.
posted by fuzz at 5:21 AM on June 26, 2003

PhD Student in ecology at Adelaide University (I've dared to link to my page). Studing the effect of temporal rainfall heterogeneity on rooting distribution of Australian native grasses, and the implications for salinity mitigation. Enjoy.
posted by Jimbob at 5:37 AM on June 26, 2003

I can't believe none of you geeks caught my quote.

Actually, I'm willing to bet I have the most tragicomic employment history of anyone here. Starting at age 13: paperboy; helping out in the raincoat factory of a family freind which burnt down 3 weeks after I started; busboy; stocker at 3 different supermarkets;a breif spell as a clerk in a video store until I spilt my soda in a credit card machine and got myself fired; bread factory worker; baker at the world's weirdest grocery store on the night shift; clerk at 3 different bookstores; a computer salesman at a store which involves cows; and a smattering of interesting temp jobs like the night I spent in a Pequena Habana clothing store counting 450 pairs of thong underwear.

I currently do data entry. At 32, I have worked my way up to a cube.
posted by jonmc at 5:41 AM on June 26, 2003

showgirl.
posted by johnnyboy at 5:53 AM on June 26, 2003

and scientist and beer qwaffer tab smoking extrodinaire.
posted by johnnyboy at 5:55 AM on June 26, 2003

I test-assemble furniture for IKEA... in my dreams.

In the waking world I spend my time making tiny adjustments to the layout of telephone bills.
posted by misteraitch at 5:56 AM on June 26, 2003

I used to be a plasterer, but now i am an evil Human Resources person.
posted by kev23f at 6:11 AM on June 26, 2003

I lied about being a video game translator.

I'm actually a freelance plastic surgeon.
posted by angry modem at 6:12 AM on June 26, 2003

I do web stuff for a company that makes (Oscar winning) stuff out of Plasticine. Oh ... and generally blog all day like everyone else.
posted by MintSauce at 6:18 AM on June 26, 2003

In addition to my domestic executive duties (which include guinea pig wrangling and teenager surveillance) I am a musician and songwriter. Really.
posted by konolia at 6:35 AM on June 26, 2003

I'm currently working as a programmer (mostly Java & ColdFusion) and I'm a almost full-time student as well.

Jobs I've been paid for in the past:

custodian
writer
fast-food worker
retail clerk
retail manager
massage therapist
power company meter reader
storyteller
musician
billing clerk
martial arts instructor

Most of the cool jobs didn't pay enough to live on. Some of the crap jobs didn't pay that well either. Programming is the first cool job I've had that actually pays a decent wage. I think I'll stick with it.
posted by tdismukes at 6:42 AM on June 26, 2003

I can't believe none of you geeks caught my quote.


"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
posted by jpburns at 6:44 AM on June 26, 2003

I am a musician and songwriter

It may be the hairy knuckled throwback in me talking again, but I sometimes wonder how many people attempt the latter without the former...

Isn't there a Thomas Beecham quote like that?
posted by monkey closet at 6:45 AM on June 26, 2003

bifter-- Midas has been gone since sometime in May. It's getting lonely over here in the quasi-objectivist circle.

I sit at my desk all day and long to use my brain.
posted by trharlan at 6:52 AM on June 26, 2003

Midas has been gone since sometime in May.

The trilateral commission must be having it's annual meeting. Right now midas is on a break, siting on pillow filled with bald eagle feathers, smoking a cigar lit by pneumatic breasted winged pixies in gold leaf thong bikinis.

Or sitting out on 42nd street sipping sterno through a rag waiting for the library to open up so he can get at a terminal.
posted by jonmc at 7:00 AM on June 26, 2003

I want to be madamjujujive's cabana boy.
posted by planetkyoto at 7:05 AM on June 26, 2003

I used to be a professional trainspotter ('s true!), but nowadays I just tell people what kind of music they should like.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 7:19 AM on June 26, 2003

Full Time Farmer. I create and supply a specialty product to a niche market. Every summer I do graphic design for a couple of local print shops...right now I'm doing a pre-emptive design for something which might happen this summer; it's a three-way partnership between me, a screenprinter and a salesman. Last year I made $12,000 off the same arrangement which was a decent return for 80 hours of work and $1500 cash investment.
posted by Mack Twain at 7:20 AM on June 26, 2003

Snake breeder -- no, really. (Top that!)

I used to edit regulations for the (Canadian) federal government, but I ran screaming from that a few months back. Looking for work like a lot of yis.
posted by mcwetboy at 7:27 AM on June 26, 2003

I'm an electronic musician
posted by soplerfo at 7:56 AM on June 26, 2003

I babysit scientists. Basically I'm the one who fixes their reports to funding agencies and re-writes their proposals so that they get lots of money to play with big, expensive toys. Sometimes they do great things, sometimes they use taxpayer funds to engage in masturbatory science that gets them cool stuff but contributes little to the knowledge of the world.

Oh, and I'm pursuing a Master's in technical communication so that I can babysit scientists at an even higher level.
posted by answergrape at 7:59 AM on June 26, 2003

More database programming here. I'm also a bass player, but I have grown comfortable with that being a hobby/weekend warrior thing.
posted by crunchburger at 8:14 AM on June 26, 2003

I write a column for an institute dedicated to promoting interest in a relatively obscure social theory.
posted by Pinwheel at 8:27 AM on June 26, 2003

Free-lance potato masher. Truthfully, not just potatoes. I will mash just about anything, usually trying to make an amusing shape out of the resulting pile of goo. These attempts are often shortlived, but sometimes, just for a moment, I can sculpt the face of God.
posted by Kafkaesque at 8:53 AM on June 26, 2003

sometimes, just for a moment, I can sculpt the face of God

Get that fucker in the oven quick ... you could market it on top of pies at faith rallies.
posted by walrus at 8:59 AM on June 26, 2003

mkultra: they're all composed during lunch break.
posted by The Michael The at 9:15 AM on June 26, 2003

jonmc, not only did I catch you're quote but I raised it: I'm a tracer.
posted by Mick at 9:17 AM on June 26, 2003

**looks at kaf**

Eeek! Masher! Masher!
posted by jonmc at 9:19 AM on June 26, 2003

I spend four days a week feeding the alligators in the basement. The time will come when, together, humans and alligators will be at war with each other. But you didn't hear it from me.
posted by ed at 10:54 AM on June 26, 2003

cortext: you mean someone found a practical application for Prolog? Outside of academia?

Word. (No, not that word, the slang-y what up quasi hip white guy you-know-it "word." Anyway...)

Prolog implementations often contain an interface to a decent database, probably as a consequence of researchers' need to have big knowlege bases for their AI projects. Back in 1996-1998, open source databases weren't quite what they are today and I didn't know much about them. For a few projects that needed to move data in and out of a DB via the web, we settled on some CGIs written in Prolog. Crazy, huh? Prolog can also be remarkably efficient in terms of programmer time for certain kinds of calculations or data retrieval. There are things that I still would rather use it for than SQL.

Rule-based and functional programming are far undersold in today's world, I think. But I've been thinking about writing an Essay tentatively entitled "Marked Up: How HTML and its heirs re-injected Non-Imperative Programming Paradigms Back Into the Mainstream". It's happening: some people will tell you that HTML isn't programming, but you can look at it as a declarative document description which is interpreted by a rendering user agent. CSS is even closer... it's very much a rule-based set of formatting instructions that reminds me very much of the rule-based logic of Prolog. XSLT is practically (maybe completely) the equivalent of a functional/logical programming language.

Of course, what most people don't know is that they're pretty much doing functional programming when they use a spreadsheet, so web-related tech is not the only mainstream place you find a non-imperative paradigm, and of course database query languages are usually fundamentally logical. But for whatever reason, those two have been a banner for other paradigms. I think it's possible that XML and XSLT will.

Now that I have seriously geeked out, I'd like to mention that I've also been payed to play music (in fact, I've got a few $500 gigs this summer), write, do event planning, manage a project, and train other people. I'd love to do public policy research.
posted by weston at 11:19 AM on June 26, 2003

I'm a journalist for a UK paper, based in the US. And a video-game hustler. Seriously.
posted by haqspan at 11:36 AM on June 26, 2003

I'm an assistant professor of English in the SUNY system.

Assistant professor of poli-sci in one of the Texas systems.

I'd've though there'd be more than two perfessers myself, but hey.

I genetically engineer scottish cows.

Assuming you mean that for the moment, do you ever get to work on or with Belted Galloways? Oreo cows rock.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:44 AM on June 26, 2003

planetkyoto - terrific! Just the other day I was thinking "what good is a cabana with no boy?"
(hey iconomy, taz, konolia, lynsey, clever sheep & all the rest of you mefi-ettes, wanna come over and hang out at the pool now that we have us a cabana boy?)
posted by madamjujujive at 11:50 AM on June 26, 2003

(hey iconomy, taz, konolia, lynsey, clever sheep & all the rest of you mefi-ettes, wanna come over and hang out at the pool now that we have us a cabana boy?)


*Dusts off binoculars*

posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:02 PM on June 26, 2003

I'd've though there'd be more than two perfessers myself, but hey.

Aye. It's summer -- we're all running through the halls yelling, "Bite me, you morons!" while no students are around to hear.

(Math, soon transplanting to a university in a strange Northern land. I'm scared. Hold me.)
posted by gleuschk at 12:03 PM on June 26, 2003

*helps madamjujujive put up a privacy fence*
posted by konolia at 12:03 PM on June 26, 2003

I order lab supplies for one of the leading cancer researchers in the world. I bring death to thousands of mice annually.
posted by thewittyname at 12:05 PM on June 26, 2003

Renaissance Man.

I'm a once and future scientist, which is to say I studied it, but I'm not doing it, so maybe I'll study it some more. I currently engineer software. I worked for New York web startups for five dot com years and got neither rich nor laid off; now I develop enterprise apps for a Really Big Company. I've also been paid to play music, to teach skiing, and to sell shoes, advertising, and newspapers. I was also most likely the last person hired to work on the "Judge Dredd" movie. If only they'd hired me sooner.

So, really, Renaissance Man.
posted by Songdog at 12:19 PM on June 26, 2003

(hey iconomy, taz, konolia, lynsey, clever sheep & all the rest of you mefi-ettes, wanna come over and hang out at the pool now that we have us a cabana boy?)

I like cabana boys too!! You never come over to my cabana! Hmph.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:54 PM on June 26, 2003

Heh. I'm a professional snarky writer. A paid wiseass. Sometimes - every lil' now and then - life can be good...
posted by Perigee at 1:01 PM on June 26, 2003

I'm a full time student getting a degree in ORIE (oh really, it's engineering?) and I'm currently a web programmer for the School of Hotel Administration at Cornell University.

I also do free lance web things for free and wish I had a cube. The corner of a small office doesn't offer much privacy.
posted by Stynxno at 1:18 PM on June 26, 2003

*starts mixing margaritas*
posted by clever sheep at 1:18 PM on June 26, 2003

okay, girls - I'll bring the margaritas...
posted by taz at 1:19 PM on June 26, 2003

oh my! You are a clever sheep. Jinx!
posted by taz at 1:22 PM on June 26, 2003

taz, s'okay--you can never have too many margaritas!
posted by clever sheep at 1:26 PM on June 26, 2003

taz, s'okay--you can never have too many margaritas!

*Starts feverishly looking for knotholes in Konolia's fence*
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:30 PM on June 26, 2003

hey iconomy, taz, konolia, lynsey, clever sheep & all the rest of you mefi-ettes, wanna come over and hang out at the pool now that we have us a cabana boy?

Girl, even though I wasn't in the original invitation *supresses whimper of rejection* I am so there.

gleuschk, don't worry, it'll be alright. Canada welcomes you with open arms, as there's something indefinably Canadian about being a math geek in the first place...
posted by jokeefe at 1:45 PM on June 26, 2003

jokeefe, do you have any swizzle sticks? We also need more lime...
posted by taz at 1:57 PM on June 26, 2003

This place is turning into such a girlzone.
posted by yhbc at 2:24 PM on June 26, 2003

oh jokeefe, you are so invited...I just can't keep more than five things in my head at once, s'all.
And taz, I think our cabana boy will handle any swizzling that's required.
posted by madamjujujive at 2:31 PM on June 26, 2003

Fluffer
posted by oh posey at 3:00 PM on June 26, 2003

Fancy shmancy New York attorney. Pity me.
posted by subgenius at 3:11 PM on June 26, 2003

*sneaks into madamjujujive's place when she is asleep and plants a web-cam in the cabana*
posted by dg at 3:14 PM on June 26, 2003

Cabana Boy?
posted by dg at 3:19 PM on June 26, 2003

Former teacher, currently web developer, database designer, IT Geek, and drummer.
posted by jazon at 3:19 PM on June 26, 2003

I ink it and I'm also the colorist. The guy next to me draws it. I add depth and shading to give the image mere definition. Only then does the drawing really take shape.
posted by holloway at 3:50 PM on June 26, 2003

Thanks, jokeefe -- I'm feeling warmer and fuzzier already.
posted by gleuschk at 4:12 PM on June 26, 2003

XSLT is practically (maybe completely) the equivalent of a functional/logical programming language

Yeah, it's a complete functional programming language and yet most of the time it's simple enough for html programmers. I emailed Matt a few weeks ago (he was going to get back to me, I guess I should take the hint ;) and was about to suggest moving Mefi to a cached XSLT architecture. Building up a page as string is a crumby idea (it took me a while to realise this fact, but when I did it was the technical reason for canning Phpilfer). Strings are for suckers, kids.

They should do the next version of CSS as XSLT (rather, as a similar XML format with heavy use of Xpath.. tags for each CSS property to go inside each match). CSS selectors look like an early subset of Xpath, only a tad more inconsistant and less descriptive.
posted by holloway at 4:19 PM on June 26, 2003

Was a software developer/whore for the IT industry until my soul was sufficiently crushed. Now I'm attempting to rebuild it by going back to school to pursue a degree in wildlife conservation.
posted by DakotaPaul at 4:34 PM on June 26, 2003

Math, soon transplanting to a university in a strange Northern land. I'm scared. Hold me.

Okay, but only because the Supreme Court ruled it's all right.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:47 PM on June 26, 2003

weston and holloway: NEEEEEERDS!

kaibutsu: I predict you work for MOPIRG, or possibly Greenpeace.

I worked for OSPIRG for about three weeks before I realized that I hated it with a passion. I'm all for environmental and consumer issues, but I'm very much not for pressuring folks for money, especially when I can see from the moment the open the door that they can't really spare it.
posted by cortex at 5:04 PM on June 26, 2003

Awhoo! We got us some margaritas and a cabana boy! I get off at 8 on Saturday - it'll still be light out - yippee! (Hey, does that cabana boy play the keyboard like that one you linked to way earlier, MJJ?)
posted by Lynsey at 6:48 PM on June 26, 2003

Professional gigolo. (Well my wife likes it!)
Hacker on the golf course.
Full time dad.
posted by Plunge at 7:35 PM on June 26, 2003

weston and holloway: NEEEEEERDS!

*starts to set up fence for functional language party*

*stops partway, packs bags for Chicago blues bar*
posted by weston at 9:22 PM on June 26, 2003

*packs-bags-for-angry-lesbian-folk-music-festival*
posted by holloway at 9:28 PM on June 26, 2003

I race cars, I play tennis, I fondle women. But I have weekends off and I am my own boss.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:07 PM on June 26, 2003

while I am flattered to be called a librarian, I do not really have a job. I have had jobs in the past. I do know some Prolog though, seriously.
posted by jessamyn at 10:10 PM on June 26, 2003

And taz, I think our cabana boy will handle any swizzling that's required.

My.... I won't worry about swizzle sticks then, if they're already supplied, heh heh, nudge nudge. *digging out grass skirt for the hula portion of the evening*
posted by jokeefe at 11:57 PM on June 26, 2003

(Hey, does that cabana boy play the keyboard like that one you linked to way earlier, MJJ?)

Yes, I insist that the entertainment portion of the evening consist of that piano player. Or a suitable substitute drawn from the Mefi ranks.

*looks around for quonsar*
posted by jokeefe at 11:59 PM on June 26, 2003

I'd make a swell cabana boy, juju, mixing drinks and looking cool and bookish, ever-ready. And able to catch the quotes and, in turn, quote. Please consider me. A little Latin heritage, but from the old school, should not be underrated. :)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:24 AM on June 27, 2003

In the "not the same" rubric this week: it's just not the fornicating, making-love, coupling, having-sexual-intercourse same without quonsar.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:26 AM on June 27, 2003

Miguel, anyone who knows as much about martinis as you do is definitely good cabana boy material. You will also add that continental flair.

There also seems to be a growing clamor among the guests for piano players so if you have any abilities in that area, do let us know.
posted by madamjujujive at 5:59 AM on June 27, 2003

Fancy shmancy New York attorney. Pity me.

No way! You're awesome!

Can you hire me?
posted by norm at 7:17 AM on June 27, 2003

yeah migs , send the goddam email quonsar !
posted by sgt.serenity at 8:08 AM on June 27, 2003

So let's see, 17.5% of MeFites are cabana boys, and 6.9% are PR people for quonsar.
Still looking for a bassoonist.

Or a balloonist.

Or a buffoonist.
Wait, that's me.
posted by wendell at 9:10 AM on June 27, 2003

Since we are talking about jobs here, what exactly does a cabana boy do besides mix drinks?

For that matter-what the heck is a cabana?(/stupid question)
posted by konolia at 9:24 AM on June 27, 2003

What's the going rate for being:

• a cabana boy
• a cabana piana playa
• a quonsar flack?

posted by weston at 9:58 AM on June 27, 2003

Do not confuse these two items:

copa cabana

capo cabana
posted by yhbc at 10:10 AM on June 27, 2003

I run my own technical marketing agency. I like talking to people and waving my arms around to explain concepts.

However, I tend to change job every year or two, so next week I may well be a shrimp farmer. Previous professions include technical journalist, technical illustrator, technical sales, programmer, and PR manager. Basically, anything that's both technical and yet still an art.
posted by wackybrit at 10:54 AM on June 27, 2003

Boy, looks like I'm late to the party.

I work for a video game company in the fine city of Chicago, designing interfaces for sports games. Which, now that I think about it, is pretty odd considering I (1) hate sports, except hockey, and (2) don't play many video games.

Although I got accepted to grad school, so it looks like I'll be joining the MeFi librarian ranks in a year or two. So I guess it all balances out in the end.
posted by 40 Watt at 11:23 AM on June 27, 2003

what exactly does a cabana boy do besides mix drinks?

Quite a bit more since yesterday...
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:47 AM on June 27, 2003

and 6.9% are PR people for quonsar.

Quonsar is not one of my current clients. However, I could work up a plan, if you're interested...

*whips out business card*
posted by me3dia at 11:50 AM on June 27, 2003

Call the toll free number for information about Nashville and ask for "Mike."
posted by mikrophon at 12:15 PM on June 27, 2003

After a brief negotiation, the following will be released over PR Newswire later today. The Blogshares SEC will be watching for any insider trading, so be careful, kids.

MEEPZORP CORP. HIRES CABANA BOY,
PLANS MARGARITA POOL PARTY
OUTER PENINSULA, Mich. (June 27, 2003) -- Meepzorp Corp., an Internet content provider, announced today that Nils "planetkyoto" Ferry has joined the firm as cabana boy. The company also announced a pool party this weekend at its Boston location, featuring margaritas, a piano player and other party favors.

Planetkyoto will report to Julie "madamjujujuve" ___, vice president of cultural affairs for Meepzorp, in this newly created position, and will be responsible for distribution of margaritas, maintenance of the pool and collection of discarded swimwear.

"Planetkyoto is a key member of our management team," said X. Caliper "quonsar" Bleeb, president and CEO of Meepzorp. "He brings 18 years experience in corporate finance and systems analysis, and is expected to play a significant role in the future growth and expansion of the company's margarita party."

In his previous position, planetkyoto served as an English translator for Tamagatchi Pharmaceuticals. He lives in Kyoto, Japan, with his wife. He is a member of his local shinto shrine's Welcome Wagon and enjoys participating the in the MetaFilter online community.

Meepzorp Corp. is a premium online content provider providing the premier content on the Internet. Its premier product is Everlasting Blort, a premium Internet Web site providing content at a premium to content preemies. Additional information is available online at www.meepzorp.com.
# # #
posted by me3dia at 12:36 PM on June 27, 2003 [1 favorite]

so it looks like I'll be joining the MeFi librarian ranks in a year or two.

a-ha! another one!

By the time we're done Dewey Decimalizing this place MeFi will be the the most organized site in the interweb!!!

That's 6 down (if my count is correct), 17145 to go...
posted by arco at 1:54 PM on June 27, 2003

You'll never take me alive ...
posted by walrus at 3:15 PM on June 27, 2003

Why You Should Fall to Your Knees and Worship a Librarian!!
posted by Blake at 6:46 PM on June 27, 2003

Just another law student looking forward to selling his soul for a 6-figure paycheck. (Pretty good deal considering the rotten condition my soul's in already).
posted by gyc at 10:04 PM on June 27, 2003

i'm a senior project manager at an IT services company, before that I was a creative director at a web design shop, before that I was an art director at a cable news operation, before that art director at a television station, before that graphic designer/animator, before that an aide at a hospital, before that a salesperson at a skateboard shop and before that a babysitter. i'm 32 and have had a full time job since i was 16.
posted by centrs at 12:04 AM on June 28, 2003

I'd've thought there'd be more than two perfessers myself, but hey.

My business cards say 'Professor'. I still can't quite get my head around that, so I'm probably going to quit soon.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:21 AM on June 28, 2003

Professor Wonderchicken. Yes, the mind definitely boggles...
posted by kindall at 9:26 AM on June 28, 2003

Stavros, please tell me you have an illustrated business card with both English and Korean text.
posted by billsaysthis at 10:11 AM on June 28, 2003

My business cards say 'Professor'.

As do mine. But not "Professor Wet Spot".
posted by Wet Spot at 10:12 AM on June 28, 2003

As do mine. But not "Professor Wet Spot".

Why not? That would be awesome. And so uncommon in Academia!
posted by billsaysthis at 9:12 PM on June 28, 2003

Stavros, please tell me you have an illustrated business card with both English and Korean text.

I do, given to me by my university. The hangulization of my name never fails to amuse. Why?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:00 PM on June 28, 2003

Military + Healthcare Administration = United States Air Force Medical Service Corps.
posted by davidmsc at 11:28 PM on June 28, 2003

Senior Programmer at a large video game company. These days I spend a lot of time working on special effects, particle systems, and dynamic cameras for an as yet unannounced christmas '04 title, but I've paid my dues.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 10:50 AM on June 29, 2003

Oh, I also have a small architectural rendering / animation company with some friends. Hire me!
posted by signal at 5:34 PM on July 2, 2003

Production Artist at a design studio (which is why I'm late to the party again. It's our busy season). In the past, I've worked just about every creative-side job there is at various newspapers, bartended, been an office peon and supervised a student photo lab. Yes, you've guessed it -- I'm just in it for the money. (Ok. Not really. But I've seen pictures of money.)
posted by aine42 at 3:15 PM on July 3, 2003