In dreams, I walk with Blue September 1, 2009 1:05 PM   Subscribe

I know that dreaming about MeFi has been covered again and again on the Gray, but I have a slightly different purpose for this post: apologizing for my bad behavior in the Dreamtime.

It's the second-most-disturbing dream* that I've had in the last week, and I have this lingering need to confess. I was posting about myself on the Blue, and as if that wasn't bad enough, it was on about the most stupid topic imaginable: I was bragging about something that I'd just done in World of Warcraft***. I posted about it several times. When I woke up, I had these thoughts in this order:

1) Oh, man I am so screwed. I'll be triple-banned.

2) Wait--I wasn't posting under my usual username! No problem!

3) But I bet that the mods can see which IP I'm posting from--oh damn.

4) It was all a dream, thank God. (But I'd still better check my posting history.)

What did I learn from this? Well, no Bloody Marys before bedtime, for one thing. I'd just shrug it off, except for being a lapsed Catholic; I feel the need to confess to thoughts as well as deeds. So, sorry about that, dreamtime-mods. Good thing I wasn't taking the Ambien last night, eh?

*Before you ask: sex with Sarah Palin.**

**Oh lord, don't I wish I were kidding.

***Not even anything that impressive; like, getting my blood elf paladin up to level 20, or something.
posted by Halloween Jack to MetaFilter-Related at 1:05 PM (170 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

Well, that's fine, but how am I going to get this waterbuffalo out of my Airstream trailer?
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:06 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


I just wanted to chime in and let everyone know that I had Mexican for lunch.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:08 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Who is the dreamtime mod, anyway? We have the astral mod (Meatbomb) but I am not sure this falls in his bailiwick. There's always the mad midnight mod what mods at midnight, aka vacapinta, but I'm not sure this is his territory either.
posted by Mister_A at 1:09 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Could have been worse - cyber-sex with a level 20 blood elf paladin Sarah Palin that you linked to a single YouTube video thereof.
posted by Abiezer at 1:11 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


English grammar - there for the strangling.
posted by Abiezer at 1:11 PM on September 1, 2009


If I dream about having sex with Sarah Palin tonight, Halloween Jack, I'll come over to your dream and make water noises until you wee yourself in real life.
posted by Kattullus at 1:11 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


Ahem, its spell grammer.
posted by Loto at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Your asterisks are out of order, sir.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Whole damn system's out of order!!
posted by Abiezer at 1:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]


This is a pretty sneaky way to brag about your WoW character.
posted by naju at 1:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [9 favorites]


Could have been worse - cyber-sex with a level 20 blood elf paladin Sarah Palin that you linked to a single YouTube video thereof.

Wait I don't have my pants off yet
posted by middleclasstool at 1:15 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


I THINK YOU MAY BE SLEEPPOSTING RIGHT NOW. WAKE UP HALLOWEEN JACK!!!!
posted by iamkimiam at 1:16 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]


oh thank god this is a dream i thought gmail really was down.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:18 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]


wait a sec ...
you mean this isn't all a dream?
posted by philip-random at 1:18 PM on September 1, 2009


I had never wondered this before, but I now realize that yes, it is in fact possible to simultaneously have a wet dream and a nightmare.
posted by cerebus19 at 1:18 PM on September 1, 2009


Is this where I'm supposed to take my final exam? And where are my pants?
posted by JoanArkham at 1:23 PM on September 1, 2009 [7 favorites]


cuz if gmail was down for more than an hour, the entire american workforce would probably crawl out of their cubicages and ravage the land with their wrath until nothing remained but a smoking morass of twisted wreckage and burning mounds of flesh ha ha

September 1, 2009 1:02:00 PM PDT
Our team is continuing to investigate this issue. We will provide an update by September 1, 2009 2:16:00 PM PDT with more information about this problem. Thank you for your patience.


oh shi--
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:25 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


You might need a Metafilter break if you find it necessary to post an apology for something that happened in your sleep. Just a suggestion.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:26 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


I used to read Word Up! magazine.
posted by cashman at 1:26 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]


it is in fact possible to simultaneously have a wet dream and a nightmare.

That's the only sensible way, even when you're awake.
posted by Non Prosequitur at 1:27 PM on September 1, 2009


Halloween Jack, your dream was clearly an omen of the Great Gmail Upfuckening.

Quickly, slice open this chicken. I'll get the candles.
posted by The Whelk at 1:28 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


I would like to:

a) apologize for all the physical harm I have caused to fellow MeFites in my dreams. Remember, I do hate you all.

and,

b) point out that I can reach gmail just fine through my pop connection on my iPwn and am laughing at you.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:31 PM on September 1, 2009


In dreams, I walk with Blue.

He was a good ol' dog, but not much at treein' 'coons, there at the end.
posted by paulsc at 1:31 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Can't people spam facebook or twitter while gmail is down?
posted by GuyZero at 1:33 PM on September 1, 2009


Everyone! start the chanting! Get the virgin! We must drive out the dark spirit that stole Gmail away from us and locked her away in a vase behind the stars! We don't have much time!
posted by The Whelk at 1:34 PM on September 1, 2009


Twitter is over capacity.
Too many tweets! Please wait a moment and try again.


Suicide pact anyone?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:34 PM on September 1, 2009


*puts down his copy of The Dreaming to push Halloween Jack from the pull of the bush and shake his hand*

I, on behalf of the rest of the perplexed ... accept your apology?
posted by adipocere at 1:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Can't people spam facebook or twitter while gmail is down?

Or head over to mefi's Your World of Text page.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:36 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Actually, that did happen. You got banned in real life and went to sleep in tears, and you're dreaming about how you wished that it was just a dream.

Also, how the hell did I get inside your dream? Get me out of here!
posted by Askiba at 1:36 PM on September 1, 2009


You might need a Metafilter break if you find it necessary to post an apology for something that happened in your sleep.

Are you suggesting that I'm a MeFi addict? Because I'm not. I can go seven whole minutes without checking the Blue. I'm completely in control!
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:37 PM on September 1, 2009


I had a dream (nightmare?) that all of you were posting naked.
posted by amyms at 1:38 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had a dream (nightmare?) that all of you were posting naked.

You mean, you're not supposed to? Oh ..well. At least that explains why I was asked to leave the internet cafe.
posted by The Whelk at 1:42 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


I had a dream (nightmare?) completely accurate clairvoyant vision that all of you were posting naked.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:43 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


It wasn't a DREAM, he had actually bought a bunch of land in Pennsylvania for them all to live on and paid off the FAA to keep planes from flying overhead. Duh.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:45 PM on September 1, 2009


Is this where I come to find some Vikings? Or is this just the place serving up cold turkey?
posted by Elmore at 1:46 PM on September 1, 2009


I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven. When I awoke I... okay let me quit playing around.
posted by cashman at 1:48 PM on September 1, 2009


This is a pretty sneaky way to brag about wanting to have sex with Sarah Palin.
posted by googly at 1:50 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


> I just wanted to chime in and let everyone know that I had Mexican for lunch.

It's that sort of homophagy that leads to bad dreams in the first place.
posted by ardgedee at 1:52 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Did anybody dream about a huge pyramid surrounded by flames in their refrigerator? Or maybe a non-Euclidean underwater city? Because gmail is down, and I have a bad feeling about this.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:54 PM on September 1, 2009


Yeah, I've definitely had that dream where I posted something stupid to metafilter and pissed everyone off and invited my own shaming...but then I woke up and...oh no, shit, that wasn't a dream at all.
posted by Lutoslawski at 1:56 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Posting during a bourbon fueled blackout is like dream-posting, right?
posted by The Whelk at 1:57 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


So which is dreamier? The blue, the green, or the gray?
posted by owtytrof at 1:59 PM on September 1, 2009


So when gmail is down, we don't get emails when new metatalk posts go up either.

I had a dream about spreadsheeting my Jetblue shit and it kept coming out wrong and then suddenly I realized I was already on a plane and it was going to Florida and I hadn't set up any meetups in Florida. That was a pretty good one.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:05 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


sorry all, I think the gmail thing may be my fault. I have a friend in from outta town and was looking for an excuse to blow off working today....and now I have one!
posted by supermedusa at 2:08 PM on September 1, 2009


I now realize that yes, it is in fact possible to simultaneously have a wet dream and a nightmare.

Oh God, not the dream where I have sex with my mother *again*.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:10 PM on September 1, 2009


better than a dream in which sarah palin is yr mother!
posted by supermedusa at 2:12 PM on September 1, 2009


If a person were to make a post such as you describe, Halloween Jack, I would hope they would have the decency to call themselves out immediately afterward.
posted by never used baby shoes at 2:12 PM on September 1, 2009


Just a few days ago, I had a dream that I posted something stupid to MetaTalk. It was really stupid--some question about what kind of camera to use in some specific circumstances. But then everyone was really confused by it, and then Cortex deleted it with some reason like, "I have no clue what's going on here, but I really think you should know what MetaTalk is for by now." And then I felt bad.
posted by Ms. Saint at 2:17 PM on September 1, 2009


Gmail's back!
posted by ocherdraco at 2:18 PM on September 1, 2009


I had Sarah Palin for lunch today.
posted by Sailormom at 2:26 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Posting during a bourbon fueled blackout is like dream-posting, right?

According to John Locke it is, so it's good enough for me.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:28 PM on September 1, 2009


I dreamed last night that I was muling puppies out of Cuba.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:45 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


One of the best things about being fired is that I no longer have dreams of being fired.
posted by klangklangston at 2:49 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


I dreamed last night that I was housekeeping - only it wasn't my house.
posted by Lynsey at 2:52 PM on September 1, 2009


One time I dreamed that I ate a giant MetaFilter, and when I woke up my pillow was gone.
posted by brundlefly at 2:59 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


Last night I dreamt that somebody banned me.
posted by applemeat at 3:00 PM on September 1, 2009


Half the people I know on facebook are talking about how gmail is down. I came here for a sanity check, but I should've known better.
posted by rtha at 3:00 PM on September 1, 2009


I think this Halloween Jack guy may actually be Candleja
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 3:06 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


You know who else didn't have access to Gmail?
posted by applemeat at 3:09 PM on September 1, 2009


Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. Only, my sat nav was broken and I ended up in Southend instead.
posted by Electric Dragon at 3:10 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


"Dreamtime"... you keep using that word...
posted by pompomtom at 3:20 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had a dream night before last that I was in a fight with a chain of squirrels.

There were maybe fifteen of them. Each one holding on with his forelegs to the hindlegs of the next squirrel. Like a whip, they'd flip themselves at me, with the end squirrel snarling and slashing viciously.

The fight was started because my (dreamtime) cocker spaniel started messing with the squirrels. He was very useless.

This was followed (or preceded, I don't know) by a far less amusing dream about police brutality.
posted by Netzapper at 3:23 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Abiezer: English grammar - there for the strangling.

I don't have one of these English grammars myself, but if I did, I'd think that you'd better be pretty careful telling everybody else what there for.
posted by koeselitz at 3:27 PM on September 1, 2009


You're living in Dreamtime, baby.
posted by dirtdirt at 3:34 PM on September 1, 2009


I dreamed my father wrote with his own shit on our bathroom wall "I'm not angry anymore"
posted by pianomover at 3:44 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


AskMetaFilter dream:

When finding yourself in a foreign country and no one to translate, do you point at your crotch when you ask where the toilet is?
posted by netbros at 3:51 PM on September 1, 2009


Before you ask: sex with Sarah Palin.

Yeah, but how many snakes and midgets were present?

Wait, maybe that's just me...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:54 PM on September 1, 2009


Man, I almost forgot to make this joke again:

NEEDS MORE UNKNOWN KADATH.
posted by GuyZero at 3:54 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


I guess this is as good a place as any to point this out:

Yesterday I made my 1000th comment on Mefi and my 100th answer on AskMe, I though that was kind of weird.

Oh, and homemade chicken pot pie is good.
posted by marxchivist at 3:58 PM on September 1, 2009


I have recurring dreams that I am sitting on a toilet that is in a very public, open space. I briefly wonder what that says about me and then I decide I am better off not knowing.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 4:05 PM on September 1, 2009


cuz if gmail was down for more than an hour, the entire american workforce would probably crawl out of their cubicages

I believe cubicages are the most cost-effective solution for containing sheeple.
posted by drjimmy11 at 4:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


And that's what office life is like in Micro$haft's Amerikkka.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:22 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


I had a dream that freedom rang from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city. And it was auto-tuned.
posted by youarenothere at 4:33 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


These are my capacious and comfy pants, into which I have placed a fish. The next move, sir or madam, is yours.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:40 PM on September 1, 2009


posted by stavrosthewonderchicken These are my capacious and comfy pants, into which I have placed a fish.

I had a dream about stavros inviting me to go out for sushi and beer, but now I'm not sure how I feel about it.
posted by mattdidthat at 4:45 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


When can we start posting our MetaFilter fanfic to the grey?
posted by doctor_negative at 4:47 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]



When can we start posting our MetaFilter fanfic to the grey?

Welcome To Slash.Metafither.Com! Your Place For Metafilter Fan Fic On the Web! Below is a list of all stories indexed by user-name, activity, and frequency of beans.


Hits Ctrl+TF

The whe-


Goddamnit.
posted by The Whelk at 5:04 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Don't worry, The Whelk, I'll write you into mine. My penis is too large to steer alone.
posted by klangklangston at 5:25 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Seriously, when I pull out, it goes "Beep beep beep…"
posted by klangklangston at 5:26 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


You people are weird.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:29 PM on September 1, 2009


But it'll have to wait until I'm done with my one where Edmund Hillary mounts George Everest. Expect a lot of Norgay puns.
posted by klangklangston at 5:31 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Anyway, something I've been meaning to ask about but don't want to use a question if I don't have to—

Do any of you remember a weird quasi-videogame/cartoon that involved firing infrared shots at a box on top of the TV while the TV played videos (like, VHS) of ships coming at you? If you missed them, the box would shoot off pieces of your plastic ship. I swear this was also a TV show that interacted with the box through some sort of weird coax input.

I remember playing it at a neighbor's house during the early '80s, but can't seem to figure out how to find it on the internet.
posted by klangklangston at 5:34 PM on September 1, 2009


I remember the shit out of that (if only from the commercials), and I can't figure out how to google for it either.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:41 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


It was cool as hell, but all my "cartoons+infrared" sort of stuff has come up with either too much chaff or nothing useful.
posted by klangklangston at 5:43 PM on September 1, 2009


Wait, no, I found it.

It being Captain Power and the Soldiers of the motherfucking Future.

Search methodology:

1. Give up on googling about toys and lasers and vhs because those are apparently hopelessly polluted.
2. Google for "80s toys".
3. Go to first hit.
4. Search site for "lasers".
5. Land at this page.
6. Squeal with delight.

posted by cortex (staff) at 5:45 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]


Yes, this clangs a very loud bell. Goddamned if I can remember what it was called.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:45 PM on September 1, 2009


Ooh!
posted by middleclasstool at 5:45 PM on September 1, 2009


You know who I miss? The dude who did the 7-Up commercials with the deep island voice who called it the UN-cola and had an awesome laugh. Bring that dude back. You'll sell, like, a billion.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:50 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Previously, on Metafilter:

In comments:
- referentialism
- Cap is not the answer
- A Captain among Captains
- sucking more than Gobots?
- eff the Sears Wishbook
- presumably a different guy

As an askme:
- cmyk was wondering the same damn thing.

I guess what I'm saying is that (a) there has never, apparently, been a Captain Power FPP and (b) I bet somebody here is looking for a couple dozen cheap nostalgia-bait favorites.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:53 PM on September 1, 2009


That dude narrated Tim Burton's Willie Wonka movie, didn't he?
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 5:54 PM on September 1, 2009


J. Michael Straczynski was behind that too? Jesus, he's everywhere! I just saw a Murder She Wrote that he wrote!

I'll look around a little more to see what kind of FPP material there is, but the most important thing is that my girlfriend thought I had imagined the whole thing. ("That sounds like a dream you had, not a real thing.")
posted by klangklangston at 5:57 PM on September 1, 2009


I had a dream last night where I spoke passable Spanish, and I met a young-but-weary pregnant Latin American woman at a fish-taco shop, and helped her navigate through some tourist-trap nightmare exurb to find her husband, who was going to take her back to her family.

And then, even though he knew I had helped her, and that she was completely lost and desperate, he tried to psyche me out so that he could steal my delicious glass of beer, which I had been carrying with me, and which had amazingly neither gotten warm nor gotten empty. But I didn't give in, and he got a little shame-faced, for trying to pull one over on me, after I did a nice thing, so I watched him and his wife walk off to wherever they were going, and then went to some place with a whole mess of horses out front to meet my wife and my dad, who had gone on ahead while I helped this lady, and had ordered appetizers.


Which was weird, because, like, we just had fish tacos, you know?
posted by paisley henosis at 5:59 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


You know what would be totally badass? If someone scanned the original Captain Power tapes into like flash video and built a lightweight light-gun game app around it so you could be using your cursor—which would be a parts-exploding ship toy in forced perspective—to all shoot at it and shit.

It'd be just like the real thing but 20+ years later and much more transparently lame but also kind of awesome just for existing.

I do remember as a kid concluding that the whole thing must have been bullshit. I'm mature enough now to grant that they were probably doing some clever shit that my arrogant little brain didn't know about yet, but the "ooh it's MAGIC" marketing didn't really help me get interested in like IR communications, that's for sure.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:06 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Last night, I dreamed that Obamaham Lincoln was deflowering Harry Potter on my high school twin bed Hello Kitty duvet cover, while I attempted to do my physics homework. Robert Pattinson was sparkling menacingly in the corner.

In my defense, I never actually had a Hello Kitty duvet cover in high school.
posted by elizardbits at 6:07 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


That dude narrated Tim Burton's Willie Wonka movie, didn't he?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he did. I heart him, though I do not know his name.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:09 PM on September 1, 2009


His name is Geoffrey Holder, apparently.

Also, this is kind of weird. Go me with the wrong-tree-barking typo.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:15 PM on September 1, 2009


Ah ha ha ha!
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:16 PM on September 1, 2009


Geoffrey Holder is handling his large un-cola nuts.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:17 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


St. Alia of the Bunnies : "You people are weird."

You're the one that's married to us.
posted by subbes at 6:23 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


I like ice cream sandwiches. I like pizza. A lot. I like when my kids go to sleep without me having to friggin beg them to and promise to open a can of whoopass if they don't. I like when I go to the local PF Changs and they have a table available without one of those interminable waits in the elevator corridor of the mall with the weird magician dude trying to keep the kids who have been at the mall all day being dragged behind their mother who has been trying to get herself some clothes that now fit her ever expanding butt because she spends so much time at the mall eating the pretzels from Auntie Annie's. I like reading the NY Post on the train ride home so I can read page six which is actually on page twelve or something to see how all these bold faced names are really losers hanging on to whatever 15 minutes of fame they have left while trying to monetize stupidity. I like the part of the paper that does the "weird but true" news stories that living around here are not really that weird anymore. I like when I go to the local barber shop and say to the old man cutting my hair, just take off the gray ones and he proceeds to go into 4o years of bad barber jokes until he realizes that he is telling bad barber jokes and he should really be railing about the hippy kids in their bell bottom jeans who don't know from getting their haircut anymore and maybe the 60's are over, but damn it those kids do have long hair. I like when I go to the grocery store and while I am on line I see an older lady reading the News of the World and I ask her about the pregnant aliens who participated in the great Brittany Spears haircut episode and she proceeds to tell me that they couldn't have done that because they were Vegas at the time partying with Michael Jackson and that when you really think about it Zigfield and Roy are full of it and that cute tiger never did anything that the weird magician didn't deserve. I like when I am at bat and the pitcher throws two straight fastballs and comes back with an overhand curve that I wait on and proceed to drive to right field and when I round second heading for third my whole team is shouting to go back to second you fat shit or you will be out. I like when I go to the local high school football game the first week in September and it is still hot out and the HS girls are still trying to show off and well you know what I am looking at until my wife reminds me that I am an asshole and couldn't even get to third on a hit into the corner the night before so these young girls don't care a damn thing about me. I also like when I open the fridge at two in the morning and there is a nice sized last sip of soda that my kids forgot to kill. And then, I open the freezer and that last Chocolate Eclair is still there calling my out. I eat that. I also like when I am going to work and crossing Park Ave and the serious looking investment banker dude is crossing too and the rain that has stopped has created a puddle that the cab driver who does not speak english nor actually know where he is going does have enough presence of mind to hit that puddle at full speed so that the IB dude is left cursing and has to get his $2,352 suit cleaned again. I also like it when I am at Wendy's and the pimple faced teenager behind the counter who is really sick of having to clean the fryer day in and day out just so that he can pay for the gas and insurance on his dad's oldsmobile which is really embarrassing to drive anyway says to me, "Biggie size it sir?" And I say back yes knowing that when I take that extra lipitor pill that evening, it will all go away. I also like when I write the word lipitor in my browser and the spell check catches it and suggests "clitoris" as an option. Huh? I like when the Yankees spend a lot of money on a free agent such as Mark Texiera and everyone cries bs but the Yanks keep smiling and winning and guys like Nick Swisher and Eric Hinske hit back to back homers against a team like the O's who have not been good since Dave McNally and the guy who did underwear ads were playing for them. I like when I get to a toll and have my ezpass and the line for cash only is so frigging long and you can see the kids in the back seat on the way to grandma's house are going ballistic and asking about when are we going to get there and can my sister stop hitting me and the dad in the drivers seat is clearly thinking about only one thing; the scotch he is going to have when he gets there and is wondering why he married this woman if he had to deal with this mother in law and the passive father in law who just sits there and takes it year in and year out for fifty years now. I like when I ask someone like the security guard at the movies why I have to step to the side and he says it is a rule and I ask has he ever really thought about the rule or is he just doing as ordered like all those german officers in WW II and he says its not the same thing and I say he is right, but why. I like when I get into my bed on Thursdays after the sheets have been changed and they are so clean and fresh and cool to the touch and then I turn the pillow over and it too is cool. I like when I go to a bar and the bartender says, "the usual?" I like when I go check my email and the email I am expecting is there and the answer is yes, I can take my 9mm Gloch to the range to shoot at the targets that look like Saddam Hussein while I pretend to be CIA tough-guy extraodinaire only to realize that the CIA would probably water board a poser like me just for the fun of it. I like when I wake up on a Saturday and I can roll over and not worry about missing the 6:42 into the city. What is with that song where the guy take the 8:15 into the city? He works half days or what? I like random MetaTalk threads like this so I can get some things off my chest.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:49 PM on September 1, 2009 [10 favorites]


I had a nightmare that Metafilter got a "retroactive negative favorites" button and all my posts went to at least negative fifty, some in the negative hundreds. I was about to cry, but then the dream turned lucid when I thought "this is a dream...it's not possible for that many people to actually give a shit."
posted by aquafortis at 6:55 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Thank you for this. I always get really mad at people who behave badly in my dreams and demand that they apologize, and sometimes they don't, and then I get more mad, and then they act like I don't have a right to MY FEELINGS!!!!!! AHH!!!
posted by prefpara at 6:59 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me

Fucking zombie Communists.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:06 PM on September 1, 2009 [9 favorites]


I had a dream. Crazy dream.
Anything I wanted to know, any place I needed to go.
Hear my song. MeFi won't you listen now?
Sing along. You don't know what you're missing now.
Any little song that you know, everything that's small has to grow.
And it has to grow!

California sunlight, sweet Calcutta rain, Honolulu starbright - the song remains the same.

Sing out Hare Hare! Dance the Hoochie Koo!
City lights are oh so bright, as we go sliding... sliding... sliding through!
posted by not_on_display at 7:07 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


Hey now. Hey now.

Don't dream it's over.
posted by amyms at 7:38 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know who else dreamed a dream? That's right, Susan Boyle.

johnnygunn, you put chocolate eclairs in the *freezer*? That's just not right.
posted by misha at 7:43 PM on September 1, 2009


I had dream I could ride across the mountaintops
Ride on the waves where the sea turns blue
Gum trees, gum trees rise until they touch the sky
I know a place where it all comes true...
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 7:44 PM on September 1, 2009


What is with that song where the guy take the 8:15 into the city? He works half days or what?

He loves to work at nothin' all day.
posted by amyms at 7:45 PM on September 1, 2009


Yeah well, as I awoke this morning from uneasy dreams I found myself transformed into a giant insect.

sllliiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzkkkkkkkz kkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk chhckkkkk WANT FRUIT cckkkkkksslllllzzzzzzz
posted by otolith at 7:59 PM on September 1, 2009


I had a dream. Crazy dream.
Anything I wanted to know, any place I needed to go.


2 of the 20 best moments of my life were playing that song at Zep hoot nights. It just feels gooood to really nail that one down hard & loud. That's the Happiest Song of All, for me.

Last night though, all I dreamed about was having insomnia. How can you dream that you're having insomnia? How fucking boring is that? Maybe tonight I'll dream that I had amnesia where I couldn't remember that I had a dream about insomnia. WFT.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:03 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is there a word to describe the feeling of regret one gets when one, through not rigorously reloading MetaTalk all afternoon, misses out on a conversation about Captain Power? Because that's what I'm feeling.

Maybe I just want a cigarette, though. Could be that.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:09 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


"What is with that song where the guy take the 8:15 into the city? He works half days or what?"

If the train's on time, you can get to work by nine.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 8:09 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Am I the only one who's girlfriend got mad at them for cheating in HER dream?
posted by shothotbot at 8:22 PM on September 1, 2009


I dare say many a young impressionable woman has been charmed into holding Geoffrey's uncola nuts. Because, c'mon. Geoffrey's mahhhhhhhhhhhhhvelous.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:30 PM on September 1, 2009


Am I the only one who's girlfriend got mad at them for cheating in HER dream?

Oh, g*d, my first wife totally did this to me once.

"Wake up!"

"Huh snkkg.. whu?"

"You were cheating on me in my dream!"

"WHAA??"

We were so young.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:34 PM on September 1, 2009


While riding on a train goin' west,
I fell asleep for to take my rest.
I dreamed a dream that made me sad,
Concerning myself and the first few friends I had.

With half-damp eyes I stared to the room
Where my friends and I spent many an afternoon,
Where we together weathered many a storm,
Laughin' and singin' till the early hours of the morn.

By the old wooden stove where our hats was hung,
Our words were told, our songs were sung,
Where we longed for nothin' and were quite satisfied
Talkin' and a-jokin' about the world outside.

With haunted hearts through the heat and cold,
We never thought we could ever get old.
We thought we could sit forever in fun
But our chances really was a million to one.

As easy it was to tell black from white,
It was all that easy to tell wrong from right.
And our choices were few and the thought never hit
That the one road we traveled would ever shatter and split.

How many a year has passed and gone,
And many a gamble has been lost and won,
And many a road taken by many a friend,
And each one I've never seen again.

I wish, I wish, I wish in vain,
That we could sit simply in that room again.
Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat,
I'd give it all gladly if our lives could be like that.
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:53 PM on September 1, 2009


Great now I just depressed myself.
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:54 PM on September 1, 2009


Am I the only one who's girlfriend got mad at them for cheating in HER dream?
posted by shothotbot at 10:22 PM on September 1 [+] [!]


At least once a month...once I dreamed that she dreamed that.
posted by schyler523 at 9:15 PM on September 1, 2009


dreamtime? or dreamtime?
posted by juv3nal at 10:27 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had dream I could ride across the mountaintops
Ride on the waves where the sea turns blue
Gum trees, gum trees rise until they touch the sky
I know a place where it all comes true...



Well, that's a quarter century of therapy down the tubes.
posted by Sparx at 11:25 PM on September 1, 2009


I just visited cortex's Captain Power and the Soldiers of the motherfucking Future link.

It autoplayed a sound sample, "I have a feeling this war just took a real bad turn", and this killed the sound from a youtube video I had playing.

I can not get sound to work again in Flash. I am on Ubuntu Jaunty 64bit. Flash sound is now dead on Opera and Firefox. I have tries alsamixer with no luck. Reinstalling flash failed too.

80's toys suck.
posted by dirty lies at 12:33 AM on September 2, 2009


Am I the only one who's girlfriend got mad at them for cheating in HER dream?

Not at all! I got punched in my sleep for cheating on a girl in her dream. Then she started crying. Then I made her tea.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:35 AM on September 2, 2009


Who is the dreamtime mod, anyway?

Have you seen Enter the Dragon? I love that film.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:37 AM on September 2, 2009


Am I the only one who's girlfriend got mad at them for cheating in HER dream?

Speaking as a girlfriend... no.

Yes, I know it's irrational. But how could you do that to me?! *sob*

posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 4:36 AM on September 2, 2009


Am I the only one who's girlfriend got mad at them for cheating in HER dream?

I also was awakened many times by my girlfriend pounding on me for a transgression I had committed in her dream.
posted by pianomover at 5:27 AM on September 2, 2009


Last night I dreamed that a friend (who is already married) was getting married on DC Cortex Meetup Day, and I was really, really upset that I was going to have to choose.

I blame you. All of you. Apologies may begin...now.
posted by JoanArkham at 5:27 AM on September 2, 2009


Ambien
# Ataxia or poor motor coordination, difficulty maintaining balance
# Increased libido
# Impaired judgment and reasoning
# Uninhibited extroversion in social or interpersonal settings
# Increased impulsivity


That sounds like a good night in itself...
posted by twine42 at 5:58 AM on September 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty sure I've been accused of murdering my wife in one of her dreams.

Strange, because the worst I've done in my dreams is choke her til she passes out...
posted by twine42 at 6:00 AM on September 2, 2009


Memories! You're talking about memories!
posted by Unnecessarily Sarcastic Bitch at 6:07 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Send your dreams to Jesse Reklaw; he's running out of unusual ones.
posted by Phanx at 6:10 AM on September 2, 2009


I've had two dreams that mathowie was angry at me for some transgression that I didn't even realize I was making. One of them took place at a dream meetup; he looked at me and said "You're not funny." and walked away. I was crushed. Yes, it has occurred to me that occasionally I take metafilter far, far too seriously.

My very small son came running into my room at about 3 in the morning once, highly indignant. "What was that thing that was chasing me?" he shouted. "And why didn't you stop it?"
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:38 AM on September 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


I had a dream last night that I was on some Big Brother house style show that was going on in the middle of the annual conference of the political party I am a member of, and I did some off-scene unnamed stupid thing and was going to get voted out of the Big Brother house AND in the newspapers.

Fortunately I know exactly what this one is about. Rarely am I so happy to wake up on a workday morning! ;)
posted by By The Grace of God at 6:51 AM on September 2, 2009




Amyms, I have that damn song stuck in my head and it's all your fault.

I have an uncle who's a film actor. No one you'd know, a character actor, the kind of guy you see and think, "Huh, he looks kinda familiar" because he played the uncle or the judge or the father-in-law or the doctor for 2 episodes the first season or for 7 minutes of big-screen time or what-have-you. A role he played decades ago was named in the credits as "Stream of Consciousness Man."

I have often thought this would be the best role to play in a movie, one where you get to ad-lib virtually everything you say, it can be as serious or as crazy as you want -- you could talk about lizard people or time cube or do a little scatting and it's all good, you get paid union wages, you can watch it again if you want to remember how much fun you had doing it the first time, and you never have to deal with paparazzi or fans.

Also, I like sushi.
posted by notashroom at 7:10 AM on September 2, 2009




I'm all alone rolling a big donut, and this snake wearing a vest...
posted by cmaxmagee at 7:52 AM on September 2, 2009


Mister_A : Who is the dreamtime mod, anyway?

Well, since my insomnia has me walking in that perpetual shadow-time between awake and asleep, and I have this stick with a nail through it for any nightmares that get out of control, I'll be willing to take the first watch.

But if I catch any of you doing anything weird while you're sleeping, I'm going to take pictures and put them online. I might even use snarky captions, so, you know, fair warning and all that...
posted by quin at 7:54 AM on September 2, 2009


I guess I had a pretty sexy dream last night, because I woke up with an erection!

Thanks, Metafilter!
posted by Greg Nog at 8:16 AM on September 2, 2009


While I can't identify with Halloween Jack's dream scenario, there have definitely been a few times where I wished I had dream-posted what I, in fact, drunk-posted. But I dream-apologized, I promise.
posted by joe lisboa at 8:20 AM on September 2, 2009


^Greg Nog: "I guess I had a pretty sexy dream last night, because I woke up with an erection!
Thanks, Metafilter!
"

Dude, that was your cat.
posted by not_on_display at 8:24 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh, hey, weird, my favorite Oliver Sacks book is The Man Who Mistook His Cat For An Erection.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:27 AM on September 2, 2009


One time I dreamed that I ate a giant MetaFilter, and when I woke up my pillow was gone.

How did you feel when that happened?
posted by Reverend John at 8:35 AM on September 2, 2009


I had a dream - I wanted to lick your knees.
posted by Reverend John at 8:38 AM on September 2, 2009


One time I dreamed that I ate a giant MetaFilter, and when I woke up my pillow was gone.

How did you feel when that happened?


Down in the mouth?
posted by Phanx at 8:57 AM on September 2, 2009 [6 favorites]


Dude, that was your cat.

CORRECTION:

I guess my cat had a pretty sexy dream last night, because she woke up with an erection!

Thanks, Metafilter!
posted by Greg Nog at 8:59 AM on September 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


I haven't been to sleep yet.

I apologize in advance for anything I might do in my dreams. Bear in mind, I just read this entire thread, and consumed a Welsh rarebit while doing so.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:23 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


You people are weird.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies


No more than you, who read through our real dreams, fake dreams, fan-fics, slash-fics, and whatnot, only to buck the trend and not post something random.

Unless that was your attempt at ironicly calling us out when it's clear what we are. If that is the case, very subtle.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:23 AM on September 2, 2009


Bear in mind, I just read this entire thread, and consumed a Welsh rarebit while doing so

Fiend.
posted by The Whelk at 9:30 AM on September 2, 2009


You, know, when I saw this thread I thought the idea of dreaming of MeFi was pretty dumb, and I was sure it would never happen to me. But just last night, Graham Chapman, who turned out not only to be alive but also MeFi's own, posted a lengthy and elaborate call-out of me, attacking everything from minor spelling and grammatical errors to having my having what he called an "insufficiently and inconsistently developed persona".
posted by anazgnos at 9:41 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I went through this spell for weeks where I would wake up in the middle of the night and have the hardest time getting back to sleep--like tossing and turning for hours. But come morningtime I would awake completely refreshed, which I thought odd. Then one night, while not being able to sleep, I realized I was only having recurring dreams that I was not able to sleep. After I came to this realization I haven't had the dream since.
posted by slogger at 10:00 AM on September 2, 2009


Not at all! I got punched in my sleep for cheating on a girl in her dream. Then she started crying. Then I made her tea.

You are Mil Millington and I claim my five pounds.

I also was awakened many times by my girlfriend pounding on me for a transgression I had committed in her dream.

Or maybe you're Mil Millington. God, are you all Mil Millington? OR AM I DREAMING?
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:22 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I also was awakened many times by my girlfriend pounding on me

I'm strangely relieved to hear that this isn't an uncommon experience
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:36 AM on September 2, 2009


This reminds me of the ancient (Chinese, maybe?) story about the Mefite who dreamed he was a butterfly, playing ecstatically on the breeze. When he awoke he could no longer tell if he was a Mefite who dreamed he was a butterfly, or a butterfly who was now dreaming he was a Mefite.
posted by barrett caulk at 11:41 AM on September 2, 2009


Both!
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:45 AM on September 2, 2009


Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No...
Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?
posted by MrVisible at 12:19 PM on September 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


MetaFilter: I was sure it would never happen to me.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:11 PM on September 2, 2009


Sidhedevil: "You are Mil Millington and I claim my five pounds."

And in real life, too.
posted by subbes at 3:23 PM on September 2, 2009


This is clearly a case for the Dream Police!
posted by TedW at 7:37 PM on September 2, 2009


So MrVisible just prompted me to add that to my Netflix queue, and so I thank MrVisible. And now we're Cha-Cha-ing.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:13 PM on September 2, 2009


I often, in that fuzzy moment between sleep and wakefulness, believe I have had some sort of crazy crazy dream. Then I put on my glasses and check my posting history, read my sent text messages, peak out of the back window of my car, shake the newly empty gas can, or climb out of the tree and realize that no, that actually happened.

I had a dream (nightmare?) that all of you were posting naked.

You may assume that I am fully dressed while posting roughly 15% of my comments, and nude for another 15%. For the remainder I am clad, as God intended, only in stripey tube socks.
posted by little e at 4:20 AM on September 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


I woke up about 15 minutes ago from this dream:

gingerbeer and I were in town for jessamyn's wedding. There was a lot of stuff we needed to do; most importantly, I had to buy pants. This was a fancy wedding at a fancy venue, so we went Nordstrom, where gingerbeer assured me that the finance department would definitely approve our credit and I'd be able to buy pants. We filled out the paperwork and I was trying to decide between grey pants and brown pants while we waited. Then suddenly we were back at the house (jessamyn's house). I didn't have pants but Nordstrom said we were okay to buy them, and I was just worried that there wasn't going to be enough time to get back to the store, try them on, get them hemmed/cuffed and get to the wedding (in 45 minutes).

There was a knock on the door and jessamyn and her parents came in, and jess said that they'd decided to have the wedding at the house instead. She was wearing a black-and-white dress. I wondered if this meant I had to buy expensive pants.

Then a cat walked on my ribcage and meowed in my ear and woke me up. That's all I remember.
posted by rtha at 5:48 AM on September 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: there was a lot of stuff we needed to do; most importantly, I had to buy pants.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:52 AM on September 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


Anyway, something I've been meaning to ask about but don't want to use a question if I don't have to—

Ooh, is this where we do that? Because I need somebody to Name That Tune and it is one so ridiculously famous that I would be ashamed to post it to Ask.

F E F E D     G A Bb     F E F E D     G A Bb     A Bb A Bb C D C Bb A G F G F G F G E
posted by the latin mouse at 4:50 AM on September 5, 2009


F E F E D G A Bb F E F E D G A Bb A Bb A Bb C D C Bb A G F G F G F G E

Swlabr.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:38 PM on September 5, 2009


So if Jessamyn walks like a beautiful rainbow, who is she marrying and what color pants should the guests wear? I'll go to bed now.
posted by TedW at 10:06 PM on September 5, 2009


Overtalken splizank insidious offal intrinsic spetaboom.
posted by Netzapper at 12:39 AM on September 6, 2009


Anyway, something I've been meaning to ask about but don't want to use a question if I don't have to—

I don't mind using a question, it's just that my question has already been asked eleventy dozen times and I read them all and I still don't know. Because I'm going to Europe and I can't decide where to go because it all sounds really exciting and I want to go everywhere and I can't make up my mind!!!!
posted by little e at 3:14 AM on September 6, 2009


I've had explicitly sexual dreams about mefites but never in the most fun way.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:51 AM on September 6, 2009


I've had explicitly sexual dreams about mefites but never in the most fun way.

Two questions leap to mind:

1) What were you doing with these mefites? You need not name the mefites. Be specific and use details to support your answer.

2) What is "the most fun say"? Be specific and use personal experiences from your own life to illustrate your answer.
posted by Netzapper at 4:15 AM on September 6, 2009


I *just* woke up from a dream where Cortex sent me to pick up some coasters Jessamyn wanted "little lace trim" from "the paradox hotel", and Mathowie just kept talking to himself. I couldn't find the lace trim, but I did find a purple and blue kitten which I presented instead.

They where not amused.
posted by The Whelk at 9:23 AM on September 6, 2009


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