How did this happen to my first fpp? November 24, 2009 8:02 AM   Subscribe

I am not an idiot. So how did my first fpp (after 4 years of enjoyable lurking) end up with a link back to metafilter itself?

If you click on it from the front page, it links to metafilter.com. Once you're inside the post, it links to itself. Seen here.
posted by eleyna to MetaFilter-Related at 8:02 AM (162 comments total)

Nevermind. Question answered.
posted by eleyna at 8:03 AM on November 24, 2009


You failed to put an actual url into the first <a href=""> tag. As a result, the browser treats that as a relative link to nowhere new, ergo it links to whatever page it's being viewed from.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:04 AM on November 24, 2009


And I've fixed the post.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:04 AM on November 24, 2009


Thank you very much. (How embarrassing.)
posted by eleyna at 8:08 AM on November 24, 2009


Hey look at it this way, at least your first MeTa post worked fine.
posted by allkindsoftime at 8:10 AM on November 24, 2009 [16 favorites]


Additional tip: next time use the Contact form instead of starting a MetaTalk thread. This will allow you to avoid further embarrassment. Not that you should be that embarrassed.

Can we talk about French toast now? Because I had some amazing challah French toast on Sunday. Man, it was good.
posted by grouse at 8:11 AM on November 24, 2009


I am not an idiot.

Said in a gentle voice: That doesn't mean you, like everyone else, won't occasionally make mistakes.

Can we talk about French toast now?

No.

Seriously, what the hell is up with people who don't serve ham on Thanksgiving. You can't live off of turkey alone, include the ham!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:14 AM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


isn't ham on french toast a monte christo?
posted by lester's sock puppet at 8:15 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away

posted by tehloki at 8:18 AM on November 24, 2009


No that's a Captain Kirk.
posted by white_devil at 8:19 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


grouse: Can we talk about French toast now?

Like why the hell isn't it made with French bread.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:23 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


And the final five cyclons, WTH?! and how the hell can what's her name keep telling Fin he's the father of her child on Glee, when he isn't?! Jesus christ, I need french toast right now.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:28 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


You failed to put an actual url into the first <a href=""> tag.

Also useful to know is that while this is often the end-result in the final html, the real problem is usually an extra or missing quote character. For instance, if you enter in <a href="http://www.cnn.com>, it will silently remove the url when you preview. Kind of a very longstanding bug in the HTML cleaner-upper.
posted by smackfu at 8:30 AM on November 24, 2009


You really just mixed BSG and Glee together like that? Get out.
posted by Plutor at 8:30 AM on November 24, 2009


Poor sweet Fin.
posted by keli at 8:35 AM on November 24, 2009


I'm still trying to figure out what Starbuck was doing all vamped out sitting in Wolowitz's bathtub last night.

It was at once disturbing and oddly arousing.
posted by quin at 8:35 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


isn't ham on french toast a monte christo?

It's a monte Jeanne-Claude.
posted by dersins at 8:38 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


You really just mixed BSG and Glee together like that? Get out.

I've been voted off the island?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:39 AM on November 24, 2009


I'm cooking bacon and singing songs about pirates and NO ONE CAN STOP ME!
posted by The Whelk at 8:41 AM on November 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


You really just mixed BSG and Glee together like that? Get out.

Glee is all about the mash up. Duh!


One of the cheerios is a cylon.
posted by Atreides at 8:49 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Can we talk about French toast now?

Sure. But first you have to come to Montreal, visit Lemeac, and have their pain perdu with maple syrup and ice cream (second picture on the left). Then we can talk.
posted by googly at 8:53 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


*maple caramel, that is.
posted by googly at 8:57 AM on November 24, 2009


hmm...french toast fried in bacon grease....
posted by The Whelk at 8:57 AM on November 24, 2009


I just started watching The Wire after years of resisting. Damn if I haven't seen 10 episodes in less than 24 hours and four have been while sitting here "working". Freakin' compelling.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:04 AM on November 24, 2009


Oops, thought this was Twitter. Carry on.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:05 AM on November 24, 2009




Oops, thought this was Twitter. Carry on.



THIS! IS! META!
posted by The Whelk at 9:05 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


*kicks The Whelk into a well*
posted by shakespeherian at 9:08 AM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I never understood the appeal of french toast until I had the cinnamon roll french toast here. It was a toss-up what was more of a marvel, the fact that the cinnamon roll french toast wasn't a giant, soggy, overly sweet mess, or the fact that the bigger-than-your-head pancakes were fluffy and delicious and perfectly cooked.
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:09 AM on November 24, 2009


Additional thank-you to smackfu. I always lost points for missing semicolons, too... sigh.

Moving on. Country Gourmet in Mountain View has this banana french toast. I had it, it was good, I liked it... but bananas? Don't love 'em. I think their normal, ordinary french toast is much better. So much better that I hesitate to call it "normal" or "ordinary". Because it isn't. It's fantastic.
posted by eleyna at 9:24 AM on November 24, 2009


the well to ....THE ASTRAL PLANE

niaga siht ton kcuf ho
posted by The Whelk at 9:26 AM on November 24, 2009


There's something magical about eggs. Eggs are the only food that can accompany themselves. Eggs Benedict? It's eggs, with an egg sauce. French toast made with challah? Take an eggy bread and then dip it in eggs.

Speaking of eggs, we're making a leg of lamb, mashed sweet potatoes, and maybe brussels sprouts for Thanksgiving, to be followed by a pumpkin caramel flan. The flan was actually fogovonslack's idea, but we're totally stealing it. What are y'all having?
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:27 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I’m having turkey, because THAT’S WHAT YOU EAT ON THANKSGIVING. Flan should not come into the picture.
posted by Think_Long at 9:30 AM on November 24, 2009


Actually, I think he just said he's having leg of lamb. You'll have to find a different reason to eat the turkey.
posted by owtytrof at 9:34 AM on November 24, 2009


I am not an idiot.

FPPNoob: Hi, I'm having a problem with my FPP.

MeFi Support: Are you an idiot?

FPPNoob: No, I'm not.

MeFiSupport: Most of the people who have problems with their FPPs are idiots, so it's important to know if you are one. Can you describe your problem in more detail?

FPPNoob: Sure. I posted a link, and instead of linking to the page I wanted to link to, it links back to MetaFilter.

MeFiSupport: Oh, that's a common problem. It usually only affects idiots though, are you certain that you're not an idiot?

FPPNoob: Quite certain. I have two PhDs from MIT, and in fact I invented several...

MeFiSupport: I'm sorry sir, but your education has no bearing on the matter, many idiots are quite intelligent. Do you have a history of idiocy in your family?

FPPNoob: Well, one of my aunts on my father's side is an idiot. And a cousin of mine was a Nickelback fan for a few years until he found a treatment program for it.

MeFiSupport: Based on those details I'd say you have an elevated risk for idiocy. Have you ever been tested?

FPPNoob: I took a test once. I was given a sheet of paper on which was written "See other side for the results of your idiot test." Upon reading the other side however, I found that it had an identical message.

MeFiSupport: Did you continue reading each side over and over again, expecting to see the results?

FPPNoob: No.

MeFiSupport: Hmm, that test was inconclusive then. I'm not an idiocy specialist, but we can do a quick diagnostic test now. Can you stand on your head for two minutes and count backwards from 100?

FPPNoob: Sure, I'll be right back.

[two minutes pass]

FPPNoob: Okay, I did it.

MeFiSupport: I'm sorry to tell you this sir, but you just tested positive.

FPPNoob: What?

MeFiSupport: A non-idiot would never have followed those silly instructions. You might not have full-blown idiocy, but I'm afraid the results are indisputable. There are many treatment options that make idiocy a very livable disease, however. For an introduction to the topic you may want to read "Idiocy For Dummies"...

FPPNoob: Yes I'm well aware of my options, I just never thought this kind of thing could happen to me.

MeFiSupport: Don't beat yourself up about it. Most idiots never realize that they have the classic symptoms until they are diagnosed; that's part of what makes it so tragic.

FPPNoob: I understand. Thanks for your help.

MeFiSupport: Don't mention it. This is the Internet after all, and informing people that they are idiots has always been a big part of what we do here.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:34 AM on November 24, 2009 [38 favorites]


I'd eat French toast if there was any. But all I've got is a chocolate-almond-rosemary donut (I already ate the bacon-maple one), so I guess I'll eat that.

We're not hosting Thanksgiving this year (thank god) but we will still get turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and all that good stuff because that's how our hosts roll. There will be lots of vegetarian options as well, of course, since it's in Berkeley.
posted by rtha at 9:34 AM on November 24, 2009


You know what's better than French Toast:
Torrijas
Oh man, when I was a kid my friend's mom used to make these. They were so sinfully good.
I haven't made the above recipe though... maybe this weekend though.
Between these and the churros that I also plan to make, my arteries are going to be so clogged!
posted by bitteroldman at 9:35 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


What are y'all having?

Turkey roulades with cranberry chicken liver stuffing and cider pan sauce
Roasted delicata squash with sage and thyme
Brussels sprouts halved and sauteed in garlic and butter
Radicchio salad with brie, pears, spiced pecans and brown-butter vinaigrette
Pumpkin-pecan pie
posted by dersins at 9:38 AM on November 24, 2009


Turkey is dreary and dry and conjures images of a parade of boring sandwiches stretching to infinity. Lamb, however, is fucking delicious and a treat. You know, like something one would serve on a holiday. As for the pumpkin flan: well, I have no defense. It sounds really good. I'm not a big fan of pumpkin pie. And, hey: eggs.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:39 AM on November 24, 2009


Chocolate-almond-rosemary sounds awesome, but you lost me on maple-bacon... I just saw maple-bacon lollipops the other day, and thought, "Gross." Then again, I've always had to have two plates whenever I eat breakfast food, because the maple syrup cannot touch anything but the pancakes. Or french toast. Maple-on-bacon... ew.
posted by eleyna at 9:42 AM on November 24, 2009


The maple bacon donuts are great - not overly sweet, with actual bits of real delicious bacon sprinkled on top.

BOP, if the turkey is dry it's been done wrong. Last time we hosted Thanksgiving I brined the bird, and then smoked it, and it was fanfuckingtastic, and made fanfuckingtastic sandwiches, although not many of them because there wasn't much left over, sadly.
posted by rtha at 9:46 AM on November 24, 2009


Though if you don't like maple + anything but pancakes, then no bacon-maple donuts for you. More for me!
posted by rtha at 9:55 AM on November 24, 2009


What are y'all having?

My sister-in-law is "forced" (her word) to spend Thanksgiving day with her husband's family, so every year we have a big Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving (without her) and then we're forced to eat another one the following Saturday (hosted and cooked by SiL) just so she can have her "ideal" Thanksgiving.

This year I wanted to have duck instead of turkey (I host the "real" Thanksgiving) but was shouted down by the very same sister-in-law who won't be attending, because she thinks its "unAmerican". GRAR.

So, what I'm having for Thanksgiving is a big ol' dish of irritation. And endless leftovers.
posted by anastasiav at 9:56 AM on November 24, 2009


well, I have no defense. It sounds really good. I'm not a big fan of pumpkin pie.

Yeah, I kind of hate pumpkin pie. But I force myself to eat a piece every year because I am so beholden to tradition. It’s really sad actually
posted by Think_Long at 9:58 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


What are y'all having?

Greasy Chinese food at the place that does free wine with dinner.
posted by The Whelk at 9:59 AM on November 24, 2009


So, what I'm having for Thanksgiving is a big ol' dish of irritation. And endless leftovers.

That's the most American Thanksgiving I could imagine
posted by Think_Long at 10:00 AM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


> I think their normal, ordinary french toast is much better. So much better that I hesitate to call it "normal" or "ordinary". Because it isn't. It's fantastic.

You have just been enrolled in the exclusive "MeFites languagehat approves of" list.
posted by languagehat at 10:01 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I approve of being approved of by languagehat.
posted by eleyna at 10:05 AM on November 24, 2009


Thanksgiving! I shall procure a goose for my mother to roast!
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:09 AM on November 24, 2009


"..shouted down by the very same sister-in-law who won't be attending"

Does not compute.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 10:13 AM on November 24, 2009


Wait, so SiL won't be attending, yet has put the kibosh on a Thanksgiving duck?That is so wrong. I'd be tempted to tell her that you're having "water turkey".
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:24 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Usually what I do if this happens is I leave a comment in the thread ("link should go here) , flag the thread as having a HTML problem, then for extra luck flag the comment with the link the same way so the mods know where to find it.

Actually if that last bit is annoying to mods let me know and I won't do it.
posted by Artw at 10:42 AM on November 24, 2009


Also I've had links that aren't properly closed or are malformed in some way resolve to empty links before, so it's always possible that is what happened.
posted by Artw at 10:44 AM on November 24, 2009


languagehat: You have just been enrolled in the exclusive "MeFites languagehat approves of" list.

Clearly the only proper construction of this sentiment is 'MeFites of which langaugehat approves' because you cannot ever end a sentence with a preposition it is irrefutable and carved in granite.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:46 AM on November 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


"List" is not a preposition.
posted by grouse at 10:52 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Does not compute.

Wait, so SiL won't be attending, yet has put the kibosh on a Thanksgiving duck?That is so wrong.


See, I don't want it thrown in my face for the next, oh, 11 ... maybe 24 .... maybe 50 months. I'm already "that weird girl" her brother married because I breastfed and objected to them using racial slurs about Obama within my son's hearing.

I can't express how glad I am to be an only child, and that my son is an only child, so his spouse won't have to put up with these sorts of sibling shenanigans. Honestly, the dynamics of siblings are just beyond me sometimes.
posted by anastasiav at 10:55 AM on November 24, 2009


Seriously, what the hell is up with people who don't serve ham on Thanksgiving. You can't live off of turkey alone, include the ham!

Ham is for Christmas. I mean, seriously. Turkey and ham? Together? At the same meal?

Although the leftover sandwiches would be pretty kick-ass . . .
posted by Shohn at 10:57 AM on November 24, 2009


Turkey and ham? Together? At the same meal?

And more, I demand ALL OF GOD'S CREATION ON MY TABLE. The Koala Burgers are kickass.
posted by The Whelk at 11:00 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Turkey is dreary and dry

You are doing it wrong, I am afraid.

If you can get one, start with a wild turkey (this not that) rather than one of the industrial mutantbirds. They are made of sadness and fail.

The only way to make a modern factory-farm turkey remotely palatable is by brining the hell out of it. Which you can do to a wild one too, if you want to double down on the goodness, but it's not as absolutely necessary.

Speaking of eggs — does anyone know what turkey eggs taste like? I assume they lay eggs like chickens, and other game bird eggs are sometimes something of a delicacy, but you never hear about anyone eating turkey eggs.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:01 AM on November 24, 2009


Just remind the SiL that the turkey was the darling of Benjamin Franklin, a French-by-association, nude-sunbathing, media Elitist. By comparison, a rogue roast duck is positively Palinesque. You betcha.
posted by CKmtl at 11:07 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Speaking of eggs — does anyone know what turkey eggs taste like?

Good question. I regularly eat duck eggs, which are larger and stiffer than chicken eggs. They're great for baking. They can be a bit gamey though, perhaps depending on their diet? I've heard that ducks that nosh on things they find in pond scum lay more "flavorful" eggs than those that are grain fed.
posted by GodricVT at 11:15 AM on November 24, 2009


Ham is for Christmas.

You're a fool. Ham is for Easter. Why aren't you people like my family? blerg
posted by Think_Long at 11:29 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


anastasiav, I keep reading this:

...and then we're forced to eat another one the following Saturday...

as "forced to eat each other." In fact, even staring at the correct sentence, I am still reading it as "eat each other."

I guess now I know what my subconscious wants to eat for Thanksgiving.
posted by chowflap at 11:37 AM on November 24, 2009


I am still reading it as "eat each other."

I don't think I have a bag for brine that big.
posted by anastasiav at 11:40 AM on November 24, 2009


'Sokay. In-laws don't dry out as fast as turkey does.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:43 AM on November 24, 2009


A MetaFilter link that goes back to itself is small potatoes. There are many more pressing things in life to worry about. For example, at 2:35 in this Slap Chop video, Vince is about to put the cover on the Graty and there's a piece of yellow cheese hanging out that gets caught in the cover. Doesn't that DRIVE YOU NUTS? And it HAPPENS EVERY TIME he does this.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:44 AM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Flan should not come into the picture

Also, flan is gross.
posted by scrutiny at 11:44 AM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Brussels sprouts halved and sauteed in garlic and butter

So basically, you're having farts.
posted by netbros at 11:48 AM on November 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


Turkey is dreary and dry

You gotta brine dat bird.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:54 AM on November 24, 2009


So basically, you're having farts.

Isn't that a Thanksgiving staple, along with falling asleep in front of the TV? And by along I mean "at the same time".
posted by DrGirlfriend at 11:54 AM on November 24, 2009


Ironically, Texas-sliced bread makes the best French toast.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:06 PM on November 24, 2009


Having a tiny heritage turkey the size of a large chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes with homegrown potatoes, apple pie from a Nick Malgieri recipe.

I don't eat vegetables on Thanksgiving. I am not an idiot.

And ham is disgusting. You should only eat ham if your whole dinner got burnt or messed up and you want to feel better so you buy a ham and think, "Well, at least I don't cook as bad as ham tastes."
posted by birdie birdington at 12:07 PM on November 24, 2009


Do you know what I want? I want churros. OK, I'll go away now.
posted by ob at 12:12 PM on November 24, 2009


Honestly, the dynamics of siblings are just beyond me sometimes.

Can't relate because my siblings are awesome. Sorry. We will be laughing so hard on Thursday it will be hard to really pig out effectively.

Speaking of which: TURKEY. BREAD STUFFING. MASHED POTATOES. GREEN BEANS. SWEET POTATOES. STUFFED SQUASH FOR THE VEGETARIANS. CRANBERRY SAUCE. PUMPKIN PIE. PECAN PIE.

Because it's fucking Thanksgiving, folks. No excuse for originality.
posted by palliser at 12:18 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


oops forgot

GRAVY.
posted by palliser at 12:19 PM on November 24, 2009


thank god, I'm from the old world, so I don't have to put up with that turkey fetish. I'm having some gado-gado with my lontong. And possibly some beers. And that's that.
posted by ouke at 12:20 PM on November 24, 2009



Because it's fucking Thanksgiving, folks. No excuse for originality.


I don't do Thanksgiving. I do however make a mean Post Thanksgiving Brunch. (although maybe not this year - not enough people so far) but it usually goes like this.

Everything laid out on the table, self-serve with wooden plates (no! dishes!) and some variant of Turkey crepe in mushroom or cranberry sauce (Asparagus and Mushroom crepe for vegetarians), roast chestnuts, pumpkin bread, sesame-coated figs, apple and walnut salad, sweet potato tarts, and store-bought pie. Bowls of nuts and fruit all around. Mimosas, bloody marys, and sparkling juices.
posted by The Whelk at 12:27 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Don't forget a murtabak dosa - Malaysian French toast.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:31 PM on November 24, 2009


(er, that was meant for ouke, but it applies equally to everybody)
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:32 PM on November 24, 2009


Ham AND Turkey here, but we talked ourselves out of having duck, too. The post-meal sandwiches are indeed AWESOME.

My generation is responsible for the pre-meal noontime snack, of which the only constant across the years are things made of gummy (this year, I'm also serving cheese and crackers and chips and dip and nuts and pickles) I just discovered that the bulk foods bins at one nearby grocery has 9 (nine!) different gummy items this year including green gummy army men, octopuses, and aliens (plus worms and bears and root bear bottles and the normal gummy stuff). It's going to be awesome.
posted by julen at 12:39 PM on November 24, 2009


grouse: Can we talk about French toast now? Because I had some amazing challah French toast on Sunday. Man, it was good

As I don't have a recipe to contribute, I will merely say that my favorite pronounciation of "French toast" is in 40-Year-Old Virgin, where the drunk girl who later vomits strawberry (or rasberry?) daquiri all over Andy says, "Man, I could really go for some French toast," but she makes it sound like "Frownch toast", and well, this sentence is a great deal longer than I expected it to be, so I'm going to stop talking right now.
posted by WCityMike at 12:40 PM on November 24, 2009


My mother-in-law roasts her turkey upside-down, which I'm pretty sure she does by accident and it confused the hell out of me the first time when I went to carve it -- it looked like a normal turkey, but the bones and joints were in all the wrong places and I hacked the thing up pretty good before I figured out what was going on.

But roasting with the breast at the bottom of the pan seems to help keep it from drying out, and the juices from the dark meat sort of drip down and it becomes almost self-basting. Now I can't imagine doing it any other way.

I'm not a fan of brining. Always comes out way too salty for my taste.
posted by ook at 12:42 PM on November 24, 2009


Everything laid out on the table, self-serve with wooden plates (no! dishes!) and some variant of Turkey crepe in mushroom or cranberry sauce (Asparagus and Mushroom crepe for vegetarians), roast chestnuts, pumpkin bread, sesame-coated figs, apple and walnut salad, sweet potato tarts, and store-bought pie. Bowls of nuts and fruit all around. Mimosas, bloody marys, and sparkling juices.

Why is NYC so far away?! WANT!
posted by deborah at 12:50 PM on November 24, 2009


Dad would always make waffles for breakfast, and make extra. Then for days afterwards, we would use the leftovers making open-faced turkey sandwiches on waffles. Heaven, I tell you.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:52 PM on November 24, 2009


Everything laid out on the table, self-serve with wooden plates (no! dishes!) and some variant of Turkey crepe in mushroom or cranberry sauce (Asparagus and Mushroom crepe for vegetarians), roast chestnuts, pumpkin bread, sesame-coated figs, apple and walnut salad, sweet potato tarts, and store-bought pie. Bowls of nuts and fruit all around

This sounds like a meal from the Redwall books, all that's missing is the acorn pudding.
posted by Think_Long at 12:54 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Turkey.
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:56 PM on November 24, 2009


So basically, you're having farts.

Delicious farts.
posted by dersins at 12:57 PM on November 24, 2009


WCityMike: my favorite pronounciation

I think we should now all list our favorite pronunciations of 'French toast.'
posted by shakespeherian at 1:01 PM on November 24, 2009


We're having the same shit most everyone eats for Thanksgoodness day. There will be a ridiculous amount of it and I'll eat more than is possible and love every silly second of it.
posted by nola at 1:01 PM on November 24, 2009


Oh man, I want to go to dersins' house for Thanksgiving. Knowing my mom, she'll probably have a dry turkey, some Idahoan mashed potatoes, lumpy gravy, and an apple pie from freaking Shari's.
posted by maqsarian at 1:13 PM on November 24, 2009


ook is right. If you cook the turkey upside down, you don't need to brine. We really don't care about presentation since it's just the two of us.

We will be having turkey and mashed poatoes and dressing (because it's dressing if you don't cook it in the bird, right?). The husband will have his hideous green bean cassarole made from canned green beans and canned cream of mushroom soup (and I will try not to gag while watching him eat it) and I will have butternut squash instead of sweet potatoes because Grandpa had a bumper crop this year and I have approx 23 squashes waiting to be eaten. We will be having chocolate silk pie instead of pumpkin. After we're done eating, the traditional "dismantling of the bird" will commence. Husband will be armed with a carving fork and knife, a huge tupperware bowl and two drooling dogs. He will crave what meat he can using the knife & fork, then he will use his hands to get whatever meat was missed. The dogs will scramble and fight over any little bits of meat that go flying from his over-enthuseastic technique. Finally, Thanksgiving will be over and we will all nap.
posted by dogmom at 1:14 PM on November 24, 2009


"Doesn't that DRIVE YOU NUTS?"

Oh, thank God. I thought I was the only one who noticed that!
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 1:16 PM on November 24, 2009


The husband will have his hideous green bean cassarole made from canned green beans and canned cream of mushroom soup (and I will try not to gag while watching him eat it)

! traitor!
posted by nola at 1:17 PM on November 24, 2009


"Knowing my mom, she'll probably have a dry turkey"

See, here's the thing. I like the breast of the turkey dry. The drier, the better. This whole "cook it breast down to keep it juicy" thing is just so wrong. THAT'S WHAT THE GRAVY IS FOR.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 1:19 PM on November 24, 2009


sesame-coated figs

Want!! (at least the recipe, pretty pretty please, Mr. Whelk?)
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:21 PM on November 24, 2009


get good figs. Dry them with a paper towel. Roast some seasme seeds (or, hell, buy the big jug of roast seeds at the Asian grocery store) , roll the figs in the seeds until totally coated.

That's about it.
posted by The Whelk at 1:26 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I just chuck it in an oven bag. Cooks way faster, stays moist. Maybe I'm a heathen, but I'm a well-fed heathen.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 1:33 PM on November 24, 2009


@ UbuRoivas: murtabak dosa, allrighty! We don't need no stinking turkey.
posted by ouke at 1:33 PM on November 24, 2009


Oh! and a dab (very small) of honey spread on the figs before rolling them in the seeds helps, but I think makes them a little too sweet.

Apparently I have the tastebuds of a 14th century monk. Bring on the ale and onion soup! I shall eat it with my brown bread and soft cheese.
posted by The Whelk at 1:35 PM on November 24, 2009


Hell, I just had some murtabak from Bandung. Good stuff. Terrible for your teeth and generally devoid of nutrition, but yummy.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:40 PM on November 24, 2009


Apparently I have the tastebuds of a 14th century monk. Bring on the ale and onion soup! I shall eat it with my brown bread and soft cheese.

Delicious farts.
posted by keli at 1:44 PM on November 24, 2009


My favorite pronunciation of french toast is Cah-pi-ro-ta-da.
posted by dirty lies at 1:46 PM on November 24, 2009


Oh man I used to hate brussel sprouts when I was growing up but then I tried roasting them. Toss sprouts with olive oil, salt, pepper, thyme and some red pepper flakes and roast on a baking sheet at 400f for 30 - 40 minutes. Outside is crunchy, salty, spicy, and the inside has the consistency of brussel sprout puree. So good. (same recipe also works well with sweet potato wedges, just sub rosemary for the thyme)

but yeah, farts :(
posted by vronsky at 1:51 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


We will have an awesome meal with my husband's big family with moist turkey and gravy, incredibly fattening mashed potatoes with bacon/sour cream/cheese, salad, pumpkin pie and the infamous green bean casserole.

And I don't get to cook any of it because we are "beverages" this year, which is stupid.

I was going to bring my Strawberry Hills Banana Muffins Forever, and also bake white-chocolate macadamia nut tassie cup cookies with mini peanut butter cups inside them and these cherry cookies for dessert anyway because nobody complains about extra dessert.

But now I have a head cold and I keep sneezing, so I might not even get to do the family thing because I don't want to make anyone sick. *sniffle*
posted by misha at 1:52 PM on November 24, 2009


or try the momofuku version with fish sauce, mint and thai chiles.
posted by vronsky at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Use a teaspoon or so of honey when you're sauteeing up your brussels sprouts.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2009


Brining rules, just use less salt. A few cloves of garlic, brown sugar, Kosher salt, a few sprigs of thyme, some rosemary, black peppercorns, maybe some chili flakes. Dry it off completely, it must be bone dry. Then rub with garlic, olive oil, salt, black pepper and rosemary made into a coarse paste. Then put in on the Max Weber, over a drip pan, with two strips of coals. Add some cowboy charcoal every 45 minutes or so. In the meantime make some triple smoked bacon Brussels sprouts, cranberry relish, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, escarole soup, lasagna, pumpkin pie for dessert, whatever. Open a few beers. We're having Bruery Autumn Maple (made with yams, I yam what I yam) and Sly Fox Saison this year. Enjoy.
posted by fixedgear at 2:11 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Add a dab of lavender to your milk, leave town with an orange and pretend that you're laughing about it.
posted by daniel_charms at 2:12 PM on November 24, 2009


I once knew a French guy who pronounced toast as toe-assed, toasted as toe-assed Ted, etc.
posted by CKmtl at 2:13 PM on November 24, 2009


I am still reading it as "eat each other."

Eat y'self fitter!
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:23 PM on November 24, 2009


pernil, arroz con gandules, mashed potatoes, milk gravy, stuffing with garlic and celery, sweet potato pie and coquito. then we go outside and play tag with the big kids. then we go to someone else's house and do it again.
don't you blaspheme about flan. I just can't make it at sangiving because there's not enough goddam space/time to be screwing around with custards and bains marie and whatnot. I can't make it the rest of the time because I don't know how. but the only rational response to the question of flan, particularly flan de coco or flan de queso, is "yes, please."
posted by toodleydoodley at 2:45 PM on November 24, 2009


I shall eat it with my brown bread and soft cheese.

Plus roasted brussels sprouts, and the sesame figs for dessert . . . yum.

I'm now sorry I'm obliged to eat leftovers tonight that I don't come home to nasty wasted food in the fridge after the long weekend. (But thanks, vronsky and The Whelk.)
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:46 PM on November 24, 2009


Gah. "so that I don't come home". I'm blaming that one on low blood sugar. Dinnertime!
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:48 PM on November 24, 2009


Eat y'self fitter!

FTFY
posted by Burhanistan at 3:01 PM on November 24, 2009


If you want a moist turkey breast, you don't need to brine, you don't need to baste, and you don't need to flip the damn beast upside down. Just put your stuffing in the pocket between the skin and the breast . Up to an inch should be enough to shield the breast and cook the stuffing all the way through, and the added bonus is that when you peel off the skin, stuffing will be sticking to it. Just don't think "Ooh! Tasty breast implants!" because that will kill your appetite and you'll have to feed the bird to the cat.

If you don't have stuffing, use strips of raw bacon and/or thinly sliced onion and/or mushrooms and/or mashed sweet potatoes.

The legs and thighs can be slashed and rubbed with butter and herbs and will end up cooked through at the same time as the breast.

In return, please answer this question so you can have the great joy of telling me if I'm an idiot or just forgetful:

When did Recent Activity start showing posts this way? x total comments. y since the last comment you read. z since your most recent comment...

I could swear the "y since the last comment you read" is a pretty recent change. It is awesome. Thanks!
posted by maudlin at 3:12 PM on November 24, 2009


I could swear the "y since the last comment you read" is a pretty recent change. It is awesome. Thanks!

I'm assuming you're using Greasemonkey and have forgotten about it; we haven't made any such change server-side as far as I know.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:20 PM on November 24, 2009


You assume correctly, sir. Thanks for not calling me an idiot. I will try harder next time.
posted by maudlin at 3:21 PM on November 24, 2009


Thanksgiving was last month, y'all. You're late.
posted by jokeefe at 4:28 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I have nothing to say, but I feel obligated to comment in any thread mentioning brussels sprouts. I'm seeking treatment.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 4:41 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I will be having frozen pizza, alone. Unless I forget about the stores being closed Thursday and fail to go shopping tomorrow, in which case I will have, I don't know, a can of garbanzo beans or whatever can be concocted from non-perishable items on hand. Then I will go to work, where I will wish for sleep, be desperately jealous of everyone who's not working, and curse myself for making the third stupidest mistake of my life.* The same thing will happen the subsequent five evenings. There may also be weeping.

*i.e. choosing to work night shift
posted by little e at 4:57 PM on November 24, 2009


I don't know yet. My ex got married this past summer so my daughter will be spending Thanksgiving with her new step dad. I'm going to make a pumpkin pie on the off chance she may stop by in the evening.
posted by Sailormom at 5:39 PM on November 24, 2009


Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turkey Ham, blah de blah de blah. That's all well and good. But CORN ON THE COB PLEASE!! The little 10 year old Midwestern boy in me came flooding back about ten years ago when I returned to these shores to have my first Thanksgiving dinner in a couple and a half decades. All the good stuff was there, but these damn East Coasters that invited me knew nothing of the cob. Nothing of the cob! We had to go and hunt for some late-season corn and thankfully for all concerned we found some. There would have been serious issues if we hadn't, I can tell you.

In Europe, corn comes in cans.

*Weeps at the horror of it all*

posted by Nick Verstayne at 5:58 PM on November 24, 2009


Corn on the cob just gets stuck in your teeth.


Cornbread, however, is proof that god loves us.
posted by The Whelk at 6:04 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I may be a heathen but I have tasted Cooks Illustrated's Green Bean Casserole, and I'm never going back.
posted by dogmom at 6:13 PM on November 24, 2009


Someone recently told me that Baltimoreans have sauerkraut at Thanksgiving.

Is this true, or were they messing with me? Because honestly, wtf.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:07 PM on November 24, 2009


Corn on the cob just gets stuck in your teeth.

Use a sharp knife to just cut all the corn off the cob. No reason to do that to your teeth. Put some nice matched paring knives for guests on the table with the other cutlery.

Someone recently told me that Baltimoreans have sauerkraut at Thanksgiving.
Is this true, or were they messing with me? Because honestly, wtf.


Nah, no sauerkraut. But they do stuff the turkeys with crabcakes.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:25 PM on November 24, 2009


Clearly the only proper construction of this sentiment is 'MeFites of which langaugehat approves' because you cannot ever end a sentence with a preposition it is irrefutable and carved in granite.
posted by shakespeherian

William Shakespeare* (you may have heard of him) was known to end his sentences with preposition-- if it's good enough for Bill, it's good enough for me.

*Also Chaucer, Milton, and the King James version of the Bible.

Did somebody say French Toast. Ahh. I love French Toast made with sour dough bread and soaked in cream, egg, vanilla, sugar, and nutmeg overnight then fried to a golden crisp outside with a soft, fluffy middle.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:00 PM on November 24, 2009


We have sauerkraut at Thanksgiving. It is delicious, although I like red cabbage even more. It's one of those ethnic traditions handed down in the family (like Lutefisk at Christmas, which came down a different branch, much to the horror of many of my relatives). I'm in Virginia, but the tradition went from Pennsylvania to Wisconsin to New Jersey to here, so...
posted by julen at 8:30 PM on November 24, 2009


Awww little e, your comment made me feel so sad. I feel sorry for anyone who has to be alone on Thanksgiving.

If you want you can come to my house and have Thanksgiving with us :)

(and by us I mean me, my cat, and my large collection of Japanese love dolls)
posted by vronsky at 10:20 PM on November 24, 2009


My Baltimorean-Lithuanian family always has sauerkraut (kopūstai, really) on Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And Easter. And Flag Day. Because sauerkraut is totally awesome.
posted by av123 at 10:33 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well now that's not creepy at all, vronsky.
posted by dersins at 10:33 PM on November 24, 2009


the only constant across the years are things made of gummy

There's a local frozen yogurt shop that has a bin of gummy (blueberry?) sharks, which aren't always the same size. I note this because the first time I went there, I saw the biggest gummy shark ever! It was delicious.

As for french toast: Grand Marnier in the toast and syrup is magical wonderful. I first saw it at Starfish Cafe, but it was only on their brunch menu. We talked about how sad it was that we wouldn't be back on the weekend, and magically, Grand Marnier French Toast appeared for dessert!

Did you know there was a FPP about French Toast? It was 2002, when things were different.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:56 PM on November 24, 2009


Oh yeah sorry dersins, I sometimes forget that humor doesn't translate on the internet, especially in your case.

I mean, seriously, I don't even own a cat.
posted by vronsky at 12:07 AM on November 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


My Baltimorean-Lithuanian family always has sauerkraut (kopūstai, really) on Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And Easter.

Hey, do you also dye eggs for easter in onion-skin liquid with plant leaves & stuff held to the eggs with pantyhose to make a kind of stencil effect? Or is that just a Latvian thing?

And yeh, skabi kaposti are indeed awesome.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:17 AM on November 25, 2009


Gesundheit!
posted by vronsky at 12:18 AM on November 25, 2009


vielen dank.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:25 AM on November 25, 2009


I get to have dinner with the in-laws at 2pm and dinner with my family at 7pm. Plus, I get birthday cake and presents because Thursday is also my 30th birthday. I fucking love Thanksgiving.
posted by chiababe at 12:28 AM on November 25, 2009


I am having

-whatever is served in my husband's church basement
-with my in-laws who are visiting from Minnesota (YAY!!)
-and various church folk, including an ex-Catholic priest who keeps trying to convert me to Unitarian Universalism

My other in-laws (in town from Dallas) are going to try to "wing it", so we'll see how that goes.
posted by kathrineg at 7:27 AM on November 25, 2009


vronsky, I'd totally be down for Thanksgiving with the love dolls, but only if they're dressed in naughty Pilgrim costumes for the occasion.
posted by little e at 7:58 AM on November 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


isn't ham on french toast a monte christo?
posted by lester's sock puppet


If anyone lives anywhere near NYC and likes Monte Christos, GO TO PRUNE FOR BRUNCH AND GET ONE! They are ammmmmmmmmmmazingly good. Seriously. Go now.
posted by haveanicesummer at 8:21 AM on November 25, 2009


A friend recently introduced me to the amazingness that is challah french toast battered and encrusted with crushed Capn' Crunch Cereal! I've been meaning to try Apple Jacks.
posted by MuChao at 8:34 AM on November 25, 2009


My favourite is walnut-topped banana bread French toast with grapes, kiwi, and berries. Served at The Only Cafe along The Danforth in Toronto.
posted by philfromhavelock at 9:47 AM on November 25, 2009


Oh yeah sorry dersins, I sometimes forget that humor doesn't translate on the internet, especially in your case.

Or yours, apparently. Geez, sensitive much?
posted by dersins at 9:48 AM on November 25, 2009


I'm reeeaally glad you guys are joking like that.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:52 AM on November 25, 2009


Speaking of waffles, buttery fried eggs on waffles are really artery-cloggingly delicious!
posted by bitteroldman at 10:38 AM on November 25, 2009


Nobody having venison pie for thanksgiving? I just read A Voyage Long and Strange by Tony Horwitz which describes the first Thanksgiving as a feast put on by Pilgrims for themselves (who wouldn't have been alive had it not been for the locals but didn't see fit to invite them). The locals showed up, there wasn't enough food, so they went & hunted some deer to supplement the party.

At the St. Augustine Thanksgiving, they had "salt pork, garbanzo beans, sea biscuits and red wine" and the locals might have brought corn, venison and tortise.
posted by morganw at 11:38 AM on November 25, 2009


Eh, no biggie dersins. It's the holidays. Time to be of good cheer and all.

Actually, I even baked you a pie!

But then I eated it, sorry.
posted by vronsky at 12:53 PM on November 25, 2009


don't tell anybody, but some people around here still have tortoise at thanksgiving and other times. regrettably, the link explains the history of gopher as a food but offers no recipes, nor does it describe how delicious they are. there is some lip-service to how endangered they are, and how it is illegal (for individuals) to take, eat, move, keep as pets, race, or otherwise molest these noble creatures. this, even as up until like six months ago it was perfectly legal for developers to suffocated them by the hundreds when they had more valuable commercial/residential uses for the land. don't think there's not a workaround for that now, too.

posted by toodleydoodley at 1:01 PM on November 25, 2009


Mmm, endangered species. Reminds me of The Freshman: Here she is, your Komodo Dragon...
posted by fixedgear at 1:43 PM on November 25, 2009


Another way to eat corn-on-the-cob without getting it stuck in your teeth is to sort of loosen the kernels with your lower teeth, a few in a row at a time, and let them just pop off. You don't saw through the kernels with your front teeth that way, which is what generally causes the fibrous clingy problem. Anyway, you also end with this wonderfully pristine cob, just empty sockets where the kernels were, instead of some nasty gnawed mess.

Hm. On preview, that whole description was remarkably horrific. Happy Thanksgiving!
posted by palliser at 2:32 PM on November 25, 2009


Metatalk: some nasty gnawed mess
posted by Burhanistan at 3:19 PM on November 25, 2009


MetaFilter: Overthinking corn on the cob.
posted by fixedgear at 4:07 PM on November 25, 2009


Hey, do you also dye eggs for easter in onion-skin liquid with plant leaves & stuff held to the eggs with pantyhose to make a kind of stencil effect? Or is that just a Latvian thing?

Woah, cool. But no, we never did that. We'd always melt beeswax and then paint it onto the eggs with a pinhead. And then we'd dye the eggs, and then peel off the beeswax, and the previously-waxed areas would be un-dyed. You could even make cool multi-colored designs by doing the process all over again with a different dye color.

And then when eating them we'd have a smashing contest to see whose egg was the strongest.
posted by av123 at 6:27 PM on November 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had my Thanksgiving last week, because I am in Australia and my dear mother in law and I misunderstood each other regarding when it actually happens... :)

That aside, it was AWESOME. I made a pie for the first time in my life (from a recipe that I found in a fantastic Ask post on pies!), and it turned out amazingly well! I even had to make the crust from scratch, because the grocery stores here don't seem to sell pre-made pie crusts, which makes me sad. Also I made the green bean casserole (because it is an American tradition thingummy, and my poor Australian in-laws had never had it before, so they needed the experience). But, horror of horrors, do you know what ELSE isn't sold in Australia? That's right. French fried onions in a can.

So I substituted crushed up cheese and onion flavored potato chips, and added some slivered almonds on top, and it tasted awesome anyway. Yay!

Now I want some French toast.
posted by po at 11:29 PM on November 25, 2009


Whoa. Here I was sighing about pumpkin pies, pecan pies, apple pies, my grandma's perfectly-cooked turkey and her homemade cranberry sauce, and how I'm over here in France and ordered sauerkraut for lunch today because it's the closest I'll get to Thanksgiving (and I love the restaurant-in-question's sauerkraut, dang is it good)...

and y'all tell me that people eat sauerkraut for Thanksgiving in the US?! This makes my day! Now I get to tell my French colleagues, as I stink up the lunch room, that I am doing it in American tradition!

...tangent...
In my part of Oregon we have wild turkeys. Fifteen years ago I nearly ran into one after turning a corner and seeing this big ol' gobbler in the road, about three feet tall, nice and meaty. Had to stop and patiently wait for it to decide what it was going to do, as it rambled around, pausing to preen and funkily cock its head from time to time, gobbling occasionally. So I always tell colleagues over here that "turkeys are THIS big and they run wild and even cross the street in my home state!" (They've all thought this is very neat. Most have never seen a live turkey.) Telling them that some Americans eat sauerkraut for Thanksgiving is totally going to mess with them. Hee hee.
posted by fraula at 2:31 AM on November 26, 2009


and y'all tell me that people eat sauerkraut for Thanksgiving in the US?!

Sauerkraut, and quite possibly oysters, as well.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:44 AM on November 26, 2009


Americans - basically anglophone Germans with less taste or sense.
posted by Artw at 9:07 AM on November 26, 2009


But, horror of horrors, do you know what ELSE horror of horrors isn't sold in Australia? That's right. French fried onions in a can.

And damn good, too. I cannot even begin to conceive of anything as disgusting as the concept of canning deep-fried food.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:04 PM on November 26, 2009


You could can it first and then deep fry it.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:03 PM on November 26, 2009


so, it's a canned onion?
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:28 PM on November 26, 2009


Pfft. As opposed to deep-fried food in crinkly bags, which is perfectly okay. ;)

Heck, y'all got Pringles - those are in a can. (Though they're so horridly expensive I fear I will never eat Pringles again. Does anyone actually pay the $4.50 a canister? Yikes.)
posted by po at 9:57 PM on November 26, 2009


Holy Chiiiiip! No. Around here (Raleigh, North Carolina, USA) they are more like $1.00 a can when they are on sale or even less.

And the french fried onion rings in a can are probably better than you are imagining.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 2:45 PM on November 27, 2009


Though they're so horridly expensive I fear I will never eat Pringles again. Does anyone actually pay the $4.50 a canister?

My personal motto is, never pay more than $1/can for them. This means I don't eat them often, if at all these days. WTF is up with potato chip prices in general, anyway? $4/bag and up for nearly every brand except the house brands? Jeez.
posted by hippybear at 10:46 AM on November 29, 2009


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