# Cryptic FPP Favoriting Advantage April 26, 2011 2:20 PM   Subscribe

There is a much more fun mefi game than trying to find the users who joined on the same day as you, namely computing your Cryptic FPP Advantage.

First, sort your past FPPs into cryptic vs. non-crptic1 columns, placing the number of favorites into the appropriate column. Next, average each column, assuming you've enough data, and post the ratio avg(cryptic) / avg(non-cryptic) here.2

That's how many times more favorites your cryptic posts get than your non-cryptic posts. Let call it your Cryptic FPP Advantage γ.3 I'm batting γ = avg(cryptic) / avg(non-cryptic) = 2.74 if I compute back to 2006. It drops back around 2.4 if I ignore more early years with few favorites or cryptic FPPs.

I'll conjecture that most people who FPP sparsely, and only occasionally crypticly, have a γ > 2, but I'm reluctant to extend the conjecture to very frequent FPPers. If you don't have enough FPPs, you could try the same game with snarky vs. non-snarky comments, but that'll take too long for many people.

1 Yes, it's obviously subjective whether or not a fpp is cryptic, but here are some guidelines : (1) consider your intentions when posting, (2) non-cryptic [more inside] material doesn't count, we're only worried about the fpp itself, (3) single letter links help make a post cryptic, but might not suffice, especially not in a (previously), and (4) double check yourself if you got called out for crypticness on post you don't consider cryptic, but don't just declare it cryptic though. Your callout ratio data isn't so easy to obtain. 2 We only want the ratios not the averages because the bare averages would distract us into **** measuring and the ratios should be more consistent across different users. And we don't want to complicate the statistics more than necessary. 3 Yes, I know &gamma; gives a crappy gamma. :(
posted by jeffburdges to MetaFilter-Related at 2:20 PM (129 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

what
posted by Avenger50 at 2:24 PM on April 26, 2011 [16 favorites]

I thought we decided not to use ROT13, especially in FPPs.
posted by gman at 2:27 PM on April 26, 2011 [26 favorites]

posted by grouse at 2:28 PM on April 26, 2011

OH MY GOD ARE YOU THE PERSON WHO HACKED THE PSN?
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 2:28 PM on April 26, 2011 [11 favorites]

Rutabaga?
posted by pupdog at 2:29 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

You don't need me for anything here, do you?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:31 PM on April 26, 2011 [10 favorites]

If you're trying to impress someone, I think you're doing it wrong.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:31 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

What if you haven't made any "cryptic" posts?
posted by zarq at 2:31 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

What if all my posts are "cryptic?"

symbology!
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 2:32 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

llamas
posted by zachlipton at 2:33 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Then your CFPPA is 0. Or infinity. I don't do math.

But I love this post.
posted by free hugs at 2:33 PM on April 26, 2011

I knew who Tim Heidecker was (and Donald Trump), but I agree it could have been labeled more clearly.
posted by DU at 2:36 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

You know who else was cryptic? That's right: The Crypt Keeper.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:37 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]

You want me to do math? Heh.
posted by slogger at 2:39 PM on April 26, 2011

posted by cjorgensen at 2:41 PM on April 26, 2011

I know you're in space, mate. We both are.
posted by killdevil at 2:42 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]

My gamma is zero because making cryptic posts is bad and you should feel bad for doing it.
posted by Rhomboid at 2:43 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

o_O
posted by bayani at 2:49 PM on April 26, 2011

Hi I'm on MetaFilter and I can overthink a plate of beans.
posted by carsonb at 2:51 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I can overthink more beans than you can possibly imagine!
posted by rtha at 2:51 PM on April 26, 2011 [7 favorites]

My cryptic FPP advantage is that I don't craft cryptic FPPs. Cuz I'm not a dick.
posted by Eideteker at 2:52 PM on April 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
posted by killdevil at 2:54 PM on April 26, 2011

I actually went back and looked at my posts and tried to figure out what is meant by 'cryptic' and then I got distracted by reading old posts and then I found a sex joke about David Bowie and now my pants are missing.

posted by shakespeherian at 2:56 PM on April 26, 2011 [8 favorites]

Can I draw a bath first? I'm dirty.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:01 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was told there would be delicious ham sammiches in this post.
posted by elizardbits at 3:02 PM on April 26, 2011

0.764. I have a disadvantage. My two "cryptic" posts were the GOP Pledge to America and the one about Ginni Thomas giving Anita Hill a passive aggressive phone call.

The most favorited of my posts was the non-cryptic "I woke up this morning with a \$2000 birthday cake in my living room. It's big. It's red. It says "Paris"." It was about a guy who woke up with a \$2000 birthday cake in his living room. It was big. It was red. It said "Paris."
posted by Mister Fabulous at 3:02 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Hey man, don't pile on the OP heref. he is a human too. No one doubting that. That would be silly. He likes to do human things that normal humans do all the time without thinking about it like consuming plant matter and exhaling carbon dioxide and shopping.
posted by The Whelk at 3:02 PM on April 26, 2011 [8 favorites]

Let call it your Cryptic FPP Advantage γ.3 I'm batting γ = avg(cryptic) / avg(non-cryptic) = 2.74 if I compute back to 2006. It drops back around 2.4 if I ignore more early years with few favorites or cryptic FPPs.

So, how big is your penis?
posted by special-k at 3:05 PM on April 26, 2011

Comment in the WaPo Style Invitational (4)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:06 PM on April 26, 2011

Nerds....
posted by chara at 3:08 PM on April 26, 2011

Front-page item is initially part of strange trend (4).
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:08 PM on April 26, 2011

Mail on the blue, so we hear (4).
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:09 PM on April 26, 2011

Stop, change this FPP (4).
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:11 PM on April 26, 2011

So, how big is your penis?

Hugely inappropriate question. Hugely.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on April 26, 2011 [5 favorites]

After item submitted to MetaFilter...? (4)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:16 PM on April 26, 2011

Abtrg is ROT13 in the state of Denmark.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:43 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Bombaclot
posted by chunking express at 3:45 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

We don't have to make any sense in this thread, right.
posted by chunking express at 3:45 PM on April 26, 2011

Everybody go home, hama7 had this locked up a long time ago.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:47 PM on April 26, 2011 [5 favorites]

Dogs flew spaceships.
posted by klarck at 3:53 PM on April 26, 2011

Incorrect. Dogs went up in spaceships, but they weren't flying them.
posted by killdevil at 3:56 PM on April 26, 2011

what
posted by klangklangston at 4:04 PM on April 26, 2011

Finally, somebody who shares my obsession with favorites. Let's have a wank round the back room.
posted by tehloki at 4:04 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

postonysterical? no, wait...
posted by not_on_display at 4:05 PM on April 26, 2011

It's criminal to do that to beans.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:05 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I consider this post... cryptic!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:06 PM on April 26, 2011

When referring to my posts, please use the terms "crypticosity" and "crypticociousness."
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:11 PM on April 26, 2011

I am considering programing a bot to periodically post "Is this something I would have to be alive to understand?" in random threads after I die. I thought this would be a nice thread to share my plan.
posted by shothotbot at 4:12 PM on April 26, 2011 [19 favorites]

Like we believe that's really you.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:13 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

(meta plan foiled)
posted by shothotbot at 4:14 PM on April 26, 2011

klangklangston: what

You're just jealous because you didn't think of this as a stat for the back of MeFite trading cards.
posted by Kattullus at 4:15 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]

Could you compute mine for me? You can just mefimail me when it's done. Thanks!
posted by iconomy at 4:17 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Well, I think this thread has taught an important lesson to users who post cryptic FPPs: nobody thinks you're clever.
posted by ryanrs at 4:24 PM on April 26, 2011

Nobody joined the same day as me.
posted by jonmc at 4:51 PM on April 26, 2011

At last, a chance to use my favorite nerd/geek tagline:

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
posted by bearwife at 4:55 PM on April 26, 2011

I'd like a little recognition for the ability to bring threads to a screeching halt, 0 since your most recent comment... style.
posted by tangerine at 4:58 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Clarity, the... with perfect clarity like... like a diamond bullet. A diamond bullet shot directly into my forehead.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011

needs more crackled lisp.
posted by clavdivs at 5:08 PM on April 26, 2011

...PBR Streetgang...say again all after sheen...
posted by clavdivs at 5:13 PM on April 26, 2011

No one is flaming out?
posted by cjorgensen at 5:37 PM on April 26, 2011

No one is flaming out?

The Internet is a big place. I'm sure somewhere, somebody is angrily closing their account as we speak.
posted by FishBike at 5:39 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:52 PM on April 26, 2011

= Self Worth Ratio
posted by gman at 5:58 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

No one is flaming out?

This is a triumph.
posted by The Whelk at 6:03 PM on April 26, 2011

Is this some kind of City of Heroes expansion ARG?
posted by eyeballkid at 6:05 PM on April 26, 2011

The verbose surrealist's 7,483 things to do with a lobster and a lightly soiled pair of lederhosen:

538. When the lederhosen come into your shop, requesting to be cleaned, you must first ascertain their intentions. Desoiling lederhosen must be done for only the most noble of reasons, so question them at length to be sure they are not asking for the procedure merely to join some trendy organization, such as the Club for Proper Garments (which allows only historically significant stains upon its members) or the Indifferent Pastries' Gymnasium (the lederhosen's stain would prevent them from masquerading themselves as a Black Forest Cake).

When you are satisfied that their intentions are pure, send your lobster out for Bubble Spiral™ Brand (New! Improved! Taphephilic!) lederhosen cleanser. Meanwhile, study the Thirty Years' War in preparation for the task to come.

O Sidewalk!
Great Sidewalk of the World,
Connecting the earth, and sea, and sky,
Forking yet linear,
I beseech you.

Pathway of kings and emperors,
Pavement of sages and mystics,
Walkway of beggars and fishmongers,
Concrete of artisans and ophthamologists,
Footpath of ancients and hipsters,
Streetside of veterinarians and playwrights,
Curbwalk of archbishops and butchers,
Hear the prayer of your humble pedestrian.

Sidewalk of Ramses,
Sidewalk of Sennacherib,
Sidewalk of Augustus,
Sidewalk of Charlemagne,
Sidewalk of Temujin,
Sidewalk of Napoleon,
Sidewalk of Lincoln,
Sidewalk of Churchill,
Sidewalk of Saucy Sally,
Grant my petition:

Lead thou me to the corner store,
Where I might purchase jerky,
And microwave burritos,
And cream cheese pineapples,
Amen.

Once the lobster returns, prepare the cleanser according to the directions on the bottle. Be sure to use the seeds of Bengali, not Peruvian, thumbplants, and to mix with a spoon made of a copper/osmium alloy.

Rub the salve deeply into the lederhosen's stain. Now, you must decide what kind of person you are: the kind who deals honestly with vulnerable, lightly soiled, garments, or the kind who murders innocent lederhosen for the scrap of profit to be gained by selling their powder as an aphrodisiac? Either way, your actions now should be clear.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:33 PM on April 26, 2011 [12 favorites]

No one cares whether you like the OP's SO, just answer the question or stay out of Askme.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:47 PM on April 26, 2011

I'm not sure how much of this is crazy crazy, and how much is just lost in translation crazy, but I'm sure the crazy is a non-zero sum. That's not necessarily a bad thing, mind you.
posted by absalom at 6:56 PM on April 26, 2011

Winning Metafilter
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:07 PM on April 26, 2011

remember that MeTa when we were all stoned and you were all "ctrypto tripto chambers" and I was all wait, what,

Is this like Cryptic Crosswords?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:34 PM on April 26, 2011

Is this like Cryptic Crosswords?

Blacken roof vinyl rot scrambles a down-under commenter (9, 2, 8)
posted by hippybear at 7:40 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

so, drugs are legal here now?
posted by tomswift at 7:48 PM on April 26, 2011

539. The lederhosen stares at you across the table with its eyestalks. On some level you know that it's not alive, but it looks so fierce and proud on top of the silver plate. You decide that you need to get over your unease and break open the shell. As you stand up the claws of your lobster catch on the rococo steel-wire chair and the fabric rips open, exposing your bare ass to the other diners. Should you feel embarrassed? Would it be less or more embarrassing if you were on a first date or if this was a dinner with important business clients? At this moment you notice a stain on the lederhosen. How does that make you feel?
posted by Kattullus at 8:06 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

drugs were illegal here?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:07 PM on April 26, 2011

Stand me under, my wife doesn't.
posted by Abiezer at 8:14 PM on April 26, 2011

drugs were illegal here?

Not under me.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 PM on April 26, 2011

If you don't know the answer or think the other team hasn't got a clue, you can dare them for double the dollars.

But be careful, they can always double dare you back for 4 times the amount and then you have to answer or take the physical challenge.

So...did I get the rules of this FPP game right?
posted by inturnaround at 8:36 PM on April 26, 2011

540.
A lobster in Argentina.
A small mite on the carapace of a lobster.
Leggings, tossed aside in a fallow pasture.
Helpless cattle peer from the grates of a racing truck, slaughter-bound.
A lobster, they cry? A lobster? In this place? O do not sl...
but the truck is gone.

A hacienda patio, wet nylons lie, drying in the sun.
The last of the ice in a glass has just melted, lobster-colored lipstick tinting its rim.
A woman walks to the deck, towel in hand, rubbing her still-damp hair.
That stain. That stain! What will I do?

A lobster in the pampas grass is a curious and splendid thing.
Do with him what thou wilt. Alas, the stain just is.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:41 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

541. Shake the lederhosen at the sky, calling on the clouds to gather, to assemble, to dance together in paroxysms of stain-removing precipitation. The lobster, messy eater, twitches a maxilliped and contemplates a flock of airborne ottomans.
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:43 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hey, anything we can do to further scorecard Metafilter is okay by me.

If I can't win at this website, what's the point of being here at all, amirite?
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:45 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

is there an objective measurement of crypticness one can use in computation?
posted by jtron at 8:45 PM on April 26, 2011

Oh, and four people joined the same day I did. I guess jonmc is +4 vs me OH SHIT GOTTA GET MORE FAVORITES IF I WANT TO MAKE THE POSTSEASON
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:47 PM on April 26, 2011

stoneweaver: I'm pretty sure this wouldn't make sense even if I weren't drinking.

Confirmed.
posted by Duke999R at 8:47 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Is it Ghostbusters 2?
posted by planetkyoto at 8:50 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh man, I went and calculated this and everything - guess I should have read the thread first.

But it doesn't work anyway, because most of my posts are pre-favourites. Based on only those post-favourites, my Advantage is .6 (does that make it a disadvantage instead?) or, if I assume 1 favourite for all the earlier stuff, it comes out as 1. Now, what does that mean?
posted by dg at 9:36 PM on April 26, 2011

THe important thing is that we have the numbers now

so we can sort them.

for Later.

Uh Because we care about ..people. That's what we do. Care about people. So much in fact that we need lots and lots of data about them. So we can care for them better. Just like other humans do!

I mean people! Like people do. Cause we're people. humans.

Like you.

Right?
posted by The Whelk at 10:04 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm 1/4 vegan (on my mother's side). And I have the pointy eyebrows to prove it.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 11:02 PM on April 26, 2011

Okay, so the idea here is that most FPP infobaits (or whatever you call that thing that's not the title and not the post-More Inside text) are written in a cryptic info-minimalist style that doesn't provide much until the comments/links are read because they draw in the FPP browser with their info-less style.

I guess an objective measurement would be like whether or not you could possibly know what your FPP was exactly about if you hadn't read it beforehand (ie you didn't save your theme/point for the more inside/links).

So for me, with my meager two FPPs, in one I explicitly stated what my post was about (the comic was updating) while the other one was about the Chinese punk *music scene, with the *music scene bit not being revealed until the links were clicked.

So uh 33/14, that's like 2.4 so yeah, nice call and stuff. I guess what's interesting is whether or not cryptic links are predisposed to having a lot of information as a result of a writer's decision and whether or not that impacts the reader's choice in reading it or something something.
posted by dubusadus at 11:07 PM on April 26, 2011

Is this some sort of Mefi-specific numerology? Some sort of variant on Indian astrology, using your userid number and cryptic FPP number and then there's this crazy chart and it has everything about your life ever? Because I am so into that being what this is I just can't tell you.
posted by Salmonberry at 2:25 AM on April 27, 2011

361

The Lobsterhosen takes one look at you and screams with rage "WHO ARE YOU TO ENTER MY CRYPT MORTAL!". It launches itself towards you on it's leathery tail and snaps at you with it's over-engineered and aesthetically conservative pincers.

LOBSTERHOSEN
ATTACK: 7 DEFENCE: 6 HIT POINTS: 12

Each turn the LOBSTERHOSEN will attack you. Roll 1d6
1-3 : The Lobsterhosen attempts to slash you with it's Prussian Pincer Attack. -3HP.
4-6 : The Lobsterhosen tries mating with your legs. No HP loss but he won't call back the next day.

Will you ATTACK the LOBSTERHOSEN with your HAM JOINT (-2HP), CAST SPELL - BANHAMMER (-3HP, -1MP) or will you LOOK IN YOUR PACK for an ITEM (turn to 473).
posted by longbaugh at 3:05 AM on April 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

Somebody needs to lay off the Sunny Delight.
posted by Decani at 3:22 AM on April 27, 2011

543. Eat the lobster meat as quickly as possible, then chug 3d6 cups of Sunny Delight. Regurgitate onto the lederhosen. Not so lightly soiled now, are they?? Take that, Pat Sajak!
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:34 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Decani: Somebody needs to lay off the Sunny Delight.

Cut it the fuck out with these presumptions of Sunny Delightness. It's fucking rude, and it's fucking lazy. Consider it possible that one can be odd, cryptic and nerdy without being Sunny Delighted. Okay?
posted by gman at 3:37 AM on April 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

I'm 1/64th Cherokee.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:24 AM on April 27, 2011

544. How is lobster formed. How girl make pregnant. (Lederhosen)
posted by shii at 4:53 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

473

You reach into your PACK, grasp the BOTTLE OF SUNNY D and with a Nicolas Cage-esque cry of pain/rage/anguish you uncap it and unleash 100% pure sunshine at the LOBSTERHOSEN. As a creature of the crypt-darkness it squeals and it's exterior begins to bubble and roil until it begins to slough off onto the floor.

It dies cursing the Dwarven weapon makers Proctus & Gamblus who had crafted this mysterious weapon for the express purpose of dealing death to subterranean national-novelty-short-pant/crustacean hybrids.

You fall upon the LOBSTERHOSEN and sate yourself on it's delicious spiced sausage internal organs. Your gluttony gives you -1 to your SPEED for the next ten page turns so be careful!

Do you wish to search the LOBSTERHOSEN's lair for treasure (turn to 814), muse for a while about how on Earth you came to be here (turn to 176) or go North through the gated door that has now magically become apparent to you (turn to 271).
posted by longbaugh at 5:27 AM on April 27, 2011

Oh my God you guys are so amazing.
posted by joannemullen at 5:49 AM on April 27, 2011

Just pipe your post XML into any aftermarket pulmometer (my V93-FL2 does the job even without crossthreading) and you can get these results in realtime. Make sure you keep an eye on your JSON delta during the downparsing phase, since anything below a V97 is prone to electrostatic phasing in the higher ranges of packet distribution. I shielded the whole buffer node in a metaxanthic polymer (sodium hydrogenase) to mitigate the effect, just to be safe.

You could probably get by with 15% latency interference if you had a switchback optical router but that's pushing it... probably check with mathowie and make sure the server's fully patched/running the latest signal degausser first. I've heard some people produced interesting fractals with >17% interference but that's sort of defeating the purpose of the CFPPA metric — it does make for pretty wall art though.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 6:19 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Winning Metafilter

I don't know if it's changed recently, but last time I checked, that meant this user was winning. Which is sort of cool and OK when you see who it is, but at the same time, makes me suspect this isn't really a good metric for determining who the best MeFite is.
posted by FishBike at 6:26 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm 1/64th Cherokee.
posted by Brandon Blatcher

Me too! Of course my mom cannot tell the story without mentioning that "she was a Christian."
posted by shothotbot at 6:28 AM on April 27, 2011

You know, four hours from mystery post to LobsterLederhosen is a little speedy.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:35 AM on April 27, 2011

We're way more efficient now.
posted by The Whelk at 6:37 AM on April 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

I'm 1/64th Cherokee.
posted by Brandon Blatcher

Ralph is 1/8th even though his Indian card only states 1/16. (Yes, he has an Indian card. )
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:47 AM on April 27, 2011

545. In the unlikely event of an emergency water landing, place lederhosen over head and breathe normally. The lobster will self-deploy.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:48 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I have a mystery ancestor, noted cryptically in the family tree as Hammerhead Annie.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:50 AM on April 27, 2011

Does the fact that President Obama released his birth certificate have anything to do with this?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:50 AM on April 27, 2011

It's Lobsterhosen and I'm waiting for someone to pick a page you know.
posted by longbaugh at 6:51 AM on April 27, 2011

St. Alia of the Bunnies: Ralph is 1/8th even though his Indian card only states 1/16. (Yes, he has an Indian card. )

Yet another example of how the white man continues to dilute Native heritage a fraction at a time.
posted by gman at 6:55 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

gman, since his Indian ancestry comes from two different ancestors, his dad got the card that way. Apparently (and yes this is racist) people back in that day preferred to be seen as less Indian than they actually were. But not racist enough not to want the card. Hmph.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:58 AM on April 27, 2011

So was Pat Sajak. He would never have made it into the IOC without affirmative action.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:15 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Lemme guess - his Aryan side right?
posted by longbaugh at 7:15 AM on April 27, 2011

515. I'll be in the long boat.
posted by Sailormom at 7:22 AM on April 27, 2011

Oh my God you guys are so amazing.
posted by joannemullen

This is why I love MeTa. My own favorite moment came when I made a bit of a diva-esque MeTa callout about something, and eventually it turned into a conversation about whether or not crabs were "metal" enough to gain admittance into Valhalla. Tickled me in a place I couldn't reach.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:56 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Lobsterhosen (1987) - Summer cabin trip turns deadly for group of teens when Lobsterhosen begins eating them. Historically significant, and still entertaining, but now dated. ★★★1/2

Lobsterhosen II: Son of Lobsterhosen (1989) - Cheaper sequel features re-cast leads, repeated plot. Still more enjoyable than contemporary knock-off Pantaloon Prawn and the Reef of Blood. ★★

Lobsterhosen III: The Hosening (1998) - Long-awaited completion of Lobsterhosen trilogy. Full of inappropriate self-parody, but worth seeing for the incredible sidewalk sequence alone. ★★1/2

Lobsterhosen Reborn (2009) - Pointless "re-imagining" of Lobsterhosen franchise. Shia LaBeouf is game as Saucy Sally, but extraneous backstory cripples what could have been a fun, nostalgic romp. ★1/2
posted by AugieAugustus at 8:13 AM on April 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

I like jam
posted by edgeways at 8:54 AM on April 27, 2011

Cut it the fuck out with these presumptions of Sunny Delightness. It's fucking rude, and it's fucking lazy. Consider it possible that one can be odd, cryptic and nerdy without being Sunny Delighted. Okay?
posted by gman at 11:37 AM on April 27

Oh, you little scamp!
posted by Decani at 12:29 PM on April 27, 2011

Ralph is 1/8th even though his Indian card only states 1/16. (Yes, he has an Indian card. )

Yet another example of how the white man continues to dilute Native heritage a fraction at a time.

If you ever want a glimpse into another world and how issues are thought about in ways you were never prepared for because you simply don't have the cultural background... try listening to an episode of Native America Calling when they're discussing blood quantum.
posted by hippybear at 1:14 PM on April 27, 2011

If you don't have enough FPPs, you could try the same game with snarky vs. non-snarky comments, but that'll take too long for many people.

There's a bunch of people on this thread that should follow that advice and dwell on the resulting numbers.
posted by Tarumba at 1:58 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm a member of the Fukawee Tribe. Every night we go out drinking and every morning we greet strangers saying "Hi, We're the Fukawee?"
posted by jonmc at 5:30 PM on April 27, 2011

When schuhplattling in lobsterhosen mind the lobster klauens!
posted by Salmonberry at 5:53 PM on April 27, 2011

I didn't fook no fooking prawns!
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:44 PM on April 27, 2011

Look ma no prawns!
posted by The Whelk at 8:13 PM on April 27, 2011

Melba toast? Not whilst there's bridges to photograph.
posted by seanyboy at 3:43 AM on April 28, 2011

You know who else was cryptic? That's right: The Crypt Keeper.

Au contraire, Flo-er. Gnomic subtlety was not the Crypt Keeper's forte.
posted by y2karl at 11:25 AM on April 28, 2011

Blood quantom
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:26 PM on April 28, 2011

Blood Quantom
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:26 PM on April 28, 2011

When will the stats be posted so we can have a fantasy mock draft?
posted by OHenryPacey at 2:34 PM on April 28, 2011

I need a Lobsterhosen graphic novel. stat.
posted by nile_red at 1:42 AM on April 30, 2011

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