conflict June 8, 2011 6:09 PM   Subscribe

Strange question. Have two mefites ever kicked the crap out of each other?

I'm trying to remember if there's ever been any occurrence of two mefites having an actual physical confrontation. You'd think that in the many years of heated cat circumcision there would have been at least two people so at odds that they came to blows. Is a metafilter meetup the safest place you could be on a saturday night?
posted by tehloki to MetaFilter-Related at 6:09 PM (213 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

Yeah, once I beat the crap of out this guy.

Then I realized he was me.

It doesn't just happen in the movies.
posted by Trurl at 6:14 PM on June 8, 2011


[takes off sunglasses]
posted by fuq at 6:15 PM on June 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


At one meetup a fight almost happened but me, breezeway, and mullacc broke it up.
posted by jonmc at 6:16 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've tried to start several fights but it's not as easy as you think.
posted by Sailormom at 6:22 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


tehloki: Is a metafilter meetup the safest place you could be on a saturday night?

Oh yeah, dude. No way I'm gonna walk right up to you on Saturday at the Bedford and kick you square in the nuts. Not gonna happen.
posted by gman at 6:32 PM on June 8, 2011


One tried to encourage strangers (via a craiglists ad) to beat up a MeFite at a meetup. I think the two parties were angry modem and wendell with the former being the aggressor.
posted by dobbs at 6:33 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I stomped dhoyt's ass.
posted by bardic at 6:45 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Two MeFites have definitely come to blows. Don't know that there have been any fights, though.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:50 PM on June 8, 2011 [33 favorites]


Are you talking to me?
posted by andoatnp at 6:57 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


There was that one guy once who invited all comers to meet him at the supermarket to settle things man-to-man the next morning, but I didn't hear any follow up. It was the boyfriend who was tricking out his riceburner POS at girlfriend's expense.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:04 PM on June 8, 2011 [11 favorites]


i hugged hermitosis once
posted by Greg Nog at 7:16 PM on June 8, 2011 [9 favorites]


It was the boyfriend who was tricking out his riceburner POS at girlfriend's expense.

zerotacos and frozens or whatevs, yeah.
posted by elizardbits at 7:19 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is why I pack heat.
posted by found missing at 7:19 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've pounded on jopreacher, but we were both wearing sparring gear. Does that count?
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 7:36 PM on June 8, 2011


fuq: "[takes off sunglasses]"

[Throws fuq across the alley] "Put the glasses on! Put 'em on!" [hits him again]
posted by octothorpe at 7:39 PM on June 8, 2011 [26 favorites]


Thankfully the technology doesn't exist for punching people over the internet yet.

I have been slapped over something I said on another messageboard, though. (I know everyone is so surprised). I also got death threats over moderation decisions on the same message board. Internets are serious business.
posted by empath at 7:40 PM on June 8, 2011


One tried to encourage strangers (via a craiglists ad) to beat up a MeFite at a meetup. I think the two parties were angry modem and wendell with the former being the aggressor.

Wait is that an odd joke or did that really happen?
posted by drjimmy11 at 7:41 PM on June 8, 2011


Also one time in like 1987 my brother antagonized some "bad kids" on a Commodore BBS. One day we heard a dull thud and went outside to find they had hurled a softball at the side of our house.
posted by drjimmy11 at 7:42 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


It really happened.
posted by empath at 7:42 PM on June 8, 2011 [8 favorites]


Invariably, I end up humping everyone who reads any of my comments online.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 7:42 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


It really happened.

Wow. That's an insane bit of history I did not know.
posted by drjimmy11 at 7:45 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


The most amazing thing about that thread is that so many of the images still work.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:50 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


It really happened.

Those really were the Wild West days of Metafilter. There'd be a mod on that shit in a heartbeat now.

And I miss amberglow and Oolong.
posted by marxchivist at 8:00 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ancient metafilter was a mean place full of douchebags, apparently.
posted by Diablevert at 8:14 PM on June 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


My husband is on here (notsnot). We often have tickle fights. Does that count?
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 8:17 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ancient metafilter was a mean place full of douchebags, apparently.

Frontiers are rough places.

[Throws fuq across the alley] "Put the glasses on! Put 'em on!" [hits him again]

I wish I could favorite this twice.
posted by Trurl at 8:18 PM on June 8, 2011


Oh, wow - great piece of history. That was just days after Matt threw open the $5.00 n00b window, and I hadn't really habituated to MetaTalk yet. I miss amberglow, too. :-(™

This place is mostly pretty urbane by comparison these days. Fisticuffs might lead to stains on our cummerbunds or something.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:20 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


That metatalk thread seems to be full of people combining "be a jerk and punch somebody in the face" and "call wendell names" into "punch wendell in the face". Also it looks like the #mefi-spawned craigslist post was deleted within minutes, before anybody could actually punch wendell in the face. That was entertaining, but the violence-free image of metafilter still holds.
posted by tehloki at 8:24 PM on June 8, 2011


Wow. I'd forgotten all about all that.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:32 PM on June 8, 2011


If anyone wants me to, tomorrow morning at work, I'll walk down the hall and sock Errant in the shoulder for you.

It'll cost you twenty bucks. You know. Same as in town.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:35 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Holy poop I completely forgot about the bunnies with pancakes on their heads. Those were the good old days.
posted by spicynuts at 8:37 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


The funny thing is, when you meet them IRL, they almost always turn out to be really nice. Or at least inoffensive. And then you're like "What the heck was I so upset about?" And then you order another round.
posted by Miko at 8:38 PM on June 8, 2011


Not me.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:56 PM on June 8, 2011


Well, IRFH, we still charge it to your bill after you leave.
posted by Miko at 8:59 PM on June 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


*Roscoe P Coltrane snicker
posted by clavdivs at 9:11 PM on June 8, 2011


It really happened.

OH GOD I MISS THE IMG TAG
posted by cmonkey at 9:12 PM on June 8, 2011


I've been punched for things I said on Metafilter.

By my partner, who takes her duty to protect the rest of the world from me very seriously.
posted by jamjam at 9:13 PM on June 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


Surprisingly, gamera, jgodzilla, mmothra and I seem to get along well, and as of yet have never taken our disagreements out on downtown Tokyo.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:14 PM on June 8, 2011 [20 favorites]




(my mind apologizes for being a little dirty tonight).

(Wait, no it doesn't.)
posted by MultiFaceted at 9:24 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


If we're digging into the old fighty days, five_fresh_fish offered $500 to get ParisParamus hurt very badly.
posted by unliteral at 9:34 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hmm. Well...there was this one time a few days before my wedding... After the rehearsal, my fiancé and I went out to dinner with some of the wedding party, including Kimothy (my maid of honor). We shared a flaming volcano drink and got a little silly, and when we were all standing around in the parking lot afterward, she started making scuttling roach noises (there was a roach exhibit where we were getting married), earning her an instinctive punch in the shoulder from a bridesmaid. Then Kimothy (who likes her personal space, let's just say) mentioned how so many people had kissed her in greeting already that week, and that if just one more person kissed her... Well, I didn't even let her finish the sentence. I started to lean in for a kiss—and the next thing I knew, I was flat on my back on the ground, leaving my fiancé et al. completely open-mouthed. The bride was down!

In truth, though, all Kimothy'd done was move out of the way, letting my own momentum bowl me over. So this probably doesn't count. But I definitely set a few "wedding ground rules" after that, including no roach noises, no punching, and no "action by inaction" that leaves the bride on the ground...
posted by limeonaire at 9:50 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Have two mefites ever kicked the crap out of each other?

Look for the "sibling" tag on contacts.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:52 PM on June 8, 2011 [9 favorites]


OH YEAH? YOU WANNA STEP OVER HERE AND TYPE THAT?!
posted by various at 10:04 PM on June 8, 2011


i hugged hermitosis once

Watch out or you'll get it again.
posted by hermitosis at 10:17 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


This one time I saw a MeFite naked and I thought, "I'd hit that," and had a little chuckle to myself, but then we both just ended up going to sleep.
posted by klangklangston at 10:25 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


It is hard to say. I kick a lot of ass, but I never ask for their Mefi user name afterwards. So i would have to say maybe.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:25 PM on June 8, 2011 [8 favorites]


Any MeFite who comes to the Los Angles meetup tomorrow is free to punch me one time in the face. Or kiss me. You know...whichever.
posted by ColdChef at 10:25 PM on June 8, 2011


How to choose, how to choose?
posted by klangklangston at 10:26 PM on June 8, 2011


I've written checks my keyboard has tried to cash in several states, under the alias Mr. Clicky.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:29 PM on June 8, 2011


cmonkey!

The answer, I believe, is no.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:29 PM on June 8, 2011


I don't know about any of this fighting crap, but there are several people posting to this thread who have made me seriously reconsider my strict policy against going to meetups. And not to punch them, either.

I did once pay someone to rick-roll mathowie at a meetup. Didn't work out, but it still made me laugh.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:48 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Mefi feuds spilling over into RL should totyally be done in the style of Sharks vs Jets.
posted by Artw at 11:05 PM on June 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


hmmm, the lawn darts are missing.
posted by clavdivs at 11:10 PM on June 8, 2011


Is that a lawn dart in your pocket, or are you just a United States Congressman?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:12 PM on June 8, 2011 [7 favorites]


lil ubu bops me in the face from time to time.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:16 PM on June 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


I had a long email exchange with PrivateParts where I tried very hard to get him to give me his address so that I could drive up to LA and discuss the situation face to face. He refused, even after I gave him my real name, phone number, and home address.

And no, I am not in any way a badass. But someone needed to beat that guy up just on general principle.

For a few months I'd get hang up calls at 3am every few days. I was fine with it, since I knew he knew - The most courage he could sweep together was a prank phone call.
posted by y6y6y6 at 11:46 PM on June 8, 2011 [8 favorites]


There are some very mean people on this site (both male and female), and they really messed with my head for a while until the rest of Metafilter reminded me how awesome most of us are.

And none of that happend in person... when I went to my first meetup it was the least social anxiety I had ever experienced, ever. Juliet Banana was the first one there and she put me totally at ease.
posted by IndigoRain at 11:50 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


No, I've never had the opportunity to meet gman.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:54 PM on June 8, 2011


Although I actually think I'd like him better in person, so maybe we wouldn't fight.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:56 PM on June 8, 2011


I went for alligator soup with amberglow in ny once - and er...... Kattulus and Len are both fearsome badasses with prison tats. Jack_mo once wrecked an entire bar in Glasgow (I think it was the saracen head) when one of the barstaff chipped into our conversation and said linux wasn't a viable operating system.

jonmc is 8 foot tall.
posted by sgt.serenity at 11:57 PM on June 8, 2011 [8 favorites]


And... actually... shit, you know I was at a meetup where there was a fight. Fuck, I hope jonmc or The Pink Superhero drops in and remembers more details, but...

Shit it was at the Astoria beer garden in Queens.... and I wanna say... Captain Trips? And some guy who was a friend of some Mefite? Fuck. I'm pretty sure it came to blows, and I'm pretty sure TPS had to break it up.

Anyone?
posted by Afroblanco at 11:58 PM on June 8, 2011


I've hugged the shit out of some of them.
posted by The Whelk at 12:30 AM on June 9, 2011


I was involved in a physical confrontation at a Halloween party last year*, and the fear has in fact reared its head that one of these days I'll finally make it to a regular Chicago meetup and dude will be there. Hope not, though.

* dude made some very insulting comments about a woman there** and after I browbeat him into apologizing he instead went to kiss her***

** unbeknownst to him, my then-fiancee

*** OH NO HE DIDN'T

posted by jtron at 12:30 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wow, this thread has two wild west MeTa threads that I didn't know about.

It's pretty fun in hindsight to see things like Crunchland warning against a team of mods (spawns elitism) and Matt telling a mob to "Go. Find him."
posted by klangklangston at 12:35 AM on June 9, 2011


And while there are occasional anti-social goobers, it's weird to think of an honest-to-God fight breaking out. That shit'd be ridic like Bowe.
posted by klangklangston at 12:37 AM on June 9, 2011


I actually think I'd like him better in person

He is a real mensch in person. And not eight feet tall.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:39 AM on June 9, 2011


The first rule of MeFight Club is you don't talk about MeFight Club.
posted by Jacqueline at 1:03 AM on June 9, 2011


Mefightclub
posted by The Whelk at 1:16 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


a mefite once beat me up and took my lunch money.

:(
posted by Mikey-San at 2:04 AM on June 9, 2011


I once assaulted Terrapin's taste in music by making a cutting remark about The Grateful Dead. I could see he was thinking about setting his little dog on me. It was a tense moment.
posted by Decani at 2:27 AM on June 9, 2011 [10 favorites]


Does BDSM count?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:51 AM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]


My experience with IRL meetups of online communitites had been that the folks who are the most abrasive online are the most docile IRL. Once they are robbed of their relative anonymity, in other words, their cowardice is inescapable.
posted by DWRoelands at 3:32 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I once beat a mefite up and took his lunch money for squealing.

*stares menacingly at mikey-san*
posted by dflemingecon at 3:34 AM on June 9, 2011


Afroblanco: No, I've never had the opportunity to meet gman.

What's funny about this comment is back in October you sent me a MeMail I never responded to which was basically surmised in your follow-up comment. Here's the thing dude, not only did you meet me in New York, but you spent much of the latter part of the night cockblocking me. I mean, you were fuckin' wasted and didn't have a clue, but damn it was annoying at the time.
posted by gman at 3:45 AM on June 9, 2011 [7 favorites]


I'll see your hugging and raise you a smootch. That's right, I've smootched or been smootched by a MeFite or two.
posted by Eideteker at 4:18 AM on June 9, 2011


I would watch Afroblanco and gman box for charity.
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:21 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why do you keep hitting yourself?
posted by govtdrone at 4:33 AM on June 9, 2011


I know some people would LOVE to take a shot at me...and then run away.

Its metafilter, doncha know!
posted by hal_c_on at 4:44 AM on June 9, 2011


I've done things to Mefites.

Many ...things.
posted by The Whelk at 4:49 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


The first rule of MeFight Club is you don't talk about MeFight Club.

Damn straight.

posted by hal_c_on at 4:52 AM on June 9, 2011


Artw: "Mefi feuds spilling over into RL should totyally be done in the style of Sharks vs Jets."

I have a friend who firmly believes that all disagreements, from the most petty up to and including international incidents involving multiple Heads of State, should be resolved solely via the dedicated application of competitive Dance Dance Revolution.
posted by namewithoutwords at 5:22 AM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


bicyclefish has previously hinted at some sort of violence if he and I were ever to attend the same meetup.
posted by FishBike at 5:31 AM on June 9, 2011


It was a tense moment.

Decani doesn't know I pissed in his wine when he went to the loo.
posted by terrapin at 5:38 AM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


One Mefite thought me and another Mefite were going to jump him at a meetup, but we were only discussing going outside to smoke a joint. *shrug*
posted by terrapin at 5:39 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


I shot a MeFite in Reno just to watch him overthink it.
posted by Miko at 5:51 AM on June 9, 2011 [31 favorites]


I've never bean to Reno.
posted by gman at 5:53 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've never been to me.
posted by Miko at 5:54 AM on June 9, 2011 [11 favorites]


Decani doesn't know I pissed in his wine when he went to the loo.
posted by terrapin at 1:38 PM on June 9


Damn. I thought it was just corked, and I was too polite to say.
posted by Decani at 5:54 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Fisticuffs is a really good word. Everyone should use the word fisticuffs.
posted by medusa at 6:06 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I once kicked Leucistic Cuttlefish in the face, but it was an accident and I was very sorry.
posted by Blasdelb at 6:12 AM on June 9, 2011


And... actually... shit, you know I was at a meetup where there was a fight. Fuck, I hope jonmc or The Pink Superhero drops in and remembers more details, but...Shit it was at the Astoria beer garden in Queens.... and I wanna say... Captain Trips? And some guy who was a friend of some Mefite? Fuck. I'm pretty sure it came to blows, and I'm pretty sure TPS had to break it up. Anyone?

Yeah, that's the fight jonmc was referencing above. It was the roommate of Captaintripps and a Mefite. It was about nothing, they were just drunk; I think it officially started when one insulted the other's hair. I was right there when it all started, but I got the fcuk outta dodge once I saw they weren't gonna drop it. Left breaking it up to the big menfolk!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:17 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


come gather round friends
and i'll tell you about
the great Mefi Brawl
i won't leave nuthin' out
it was at a big meetup
everybody was there
with a drink in their hand
and a story to share

now things first went amiss
when Faze said to klang:
"that punk rock you like,
man it ain't got that swang"
then delmoi stepped in
he got some detail wrong,
and then flapjax said "hey,
that's like one of my songs!"

then The Whelk, he looked up
from his big stein of beer
and said "hey, why the hell
ain't my bud Brandon here?"
and then jonmc, man,
he was drunk, lord amighty!
started glaring at gman,
who'd used the word 'fighty'

jon took the first swing
but his aim wasn't good
so he slugged Astro Zombie
yeah, clipped him real good
and then cortex jumped jon,
then along came loquacious
screaming "alright you bozos,
i'm-a show you hellacious!"

hama7 was there
indecipherably mumbling
but stepped out the way
when he saw Meatbomb stumbling
and lurching toward Peter McDermott who said
"when i'm done with you, zarq,
man you'll wish you was dead!"

then nickyskye pulled out a switchblade and cried:
"hey yo, five fresh fish! man you gonna get fried!"
then TwoWordReview said "get lost or i'll smack ya!"
and languagehat said "man that's nothing, i'll thwack ya!"
ThePinkSuperhero had her boot on the neck
of goodnewsfortheinsane, who said "what the heck,
we all gotta go sometime, you know" and then box
said "you get his hat, Pink, and I'll get his socks!"

then a fellow piped up, said "i'll give you a lickin',
cause I'm stavros, you know, I'm a mean wonderchicken!"
then humannaire punched brundlefly in the gut
as item said "damn!" and ColdChef said "say what?"
then in through the door, toughest woman alive,
downin' whiskeys, of course, madamjujujive
she screamed "all you fools best get out of my way"
to which BitterOldPunk said "yeah babe, hey hey hey!"

tehloki punched hippybear hard, with brass knuckles
adamvasco said "yo, that's the way it goes, chuckles!"
Devil's Rancher and timsteil were each trading blows
and not_on_display broke poor grumblebee's nose
and ol' Blazecock Pileon was biting the ear
of the filthylightthief, who said "hey, listen here!
don't mess with me buddy!" but nobody heard
cause Kattullus was screaming: "my vision is blurred!"

so by now the whole room was a big ugly brawl
every Mefier punchin' and screamin' and all
until jessamyn, jessamyn stepped in the place
with a hammer in hand and that look on her face
she said "all-a you clowns better straighten up quick!"
and Decani looked like he was gonna get sick
puny human and Miko got up off the floor
marxchivist and OmieWise eased toward the door
and everyone staggered back into their places
clothes ripped and torn, and blood on their faces...

but then,
yes then,
mathowie burst in!
on a brand new bicycle!
and grinning a grin, he said:
"friends, I have only the one thing to say:
tomorrow you know, is a...
BRAND NEW DAY!"
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:29 AM on June 9, 2011 [99 favorites]


BRAVO!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:30 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oh, flapjax, above and beyond... above and beyond!

Please record this.
posted by Kattullus at 6:38 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


bicyclefish has previously hinted at some sort of violence if he and I were ever to attend the same meetup.
posted by FishBike


I'm afraid that you would cancel each other out in some sort of heretofore unheard of noun-adjective negation singularity, and the universe would blink out. Please exercise extreme caution, like start with waving hi from all the way across the room, first.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:43 AM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


It really happened. http://metatalk.metafilter.com/8522/I-do-not-WANT-to-be-exposed-to-anus

Why, that was back in November of aught-four. Everyone got exposed to anus that month.

"Remember that Christmas when quonsar showed up drunk and abusive? Yeah. Thank God he got Jesus shortly after that!"
posted by octobersurprise at 6:45 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Please record this.

I'll try!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:58 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Everyone got exposed to anus that month.

And now all we have is Movember.
posted by arcticseal at 6:59 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


jonmc once punched me in the face.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:00 AM on June 9, 2011


But of course this leads to a more pertinent question: Have two mefites ever slept together?
posted by bwg at 7:17 AM on June 9, 2011


bwg: "But of course this leads to a more pertinent question: Have two mefites ever slept together"

Considering that there are mefites who are married, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the answer is 'yes'.
posted by Grither at 7:23 AM on June 9, 2011


Absolutely not. The mefi stork is just kind of busy.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:24 AM on June 9, 2011


Grither: "bwg: "But of course this leads to a more pertinent question: Have two mefites ever slept together"

Considering that there are mefites who are married, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the answer is 'yes'.
"

Not if they're fighting over a thread. Then again, angry sex can be good sex ...
posted by bwg at 7:31 AM on June 9, 2011


How many actual "We met via MeFi and now we're married!/a thing!" couples are there? At least 4 or 5, right?
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:34 AM on June 9, 2011


"But of course this leads to a more pertinent question: Have two mefites ever slept together"

Wait... what are contacts supposed to indicate again?? (shitshitshit!)
posted by heyho at 7:37 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Devils Rancher: How many actual "We met via MeFi and now we're married!/a thing!" couples are there? At least 4 or 5, right?

Here are the married ones we know about.
posted by gman at 7:38 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


brilliant work there, flapjax!!
*downs whiskeys*
posted by madamjujujive at 7:44 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Say what?
posted by ColdChef at 7:52 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


*Kicks the crap out of ColdChef*
posted by madamjujujive at 8:08 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm not ever going to be able to go to MeetUps so you'll never know how lucky you all are. Simply a few minutes exposure to the general public is enough to raise my blood pressure to near boiling point, dealing with other people without stabbing them is by far the hardest part of my day.
posted by longbaugh at 8:09 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


madamjujujive: *Kicks the crap out of ColdChef*

He'd bury you.
posted by gman at 8:18 AM on June 9, 2011 [15 favorites]


Can and will.
posted by ColdChef at 8:22 AM on June 9, 2011 [7 favorites]


He already buried me. That's why I can't go to meetups.

In fairness though I've clean filtered water, access to the internet and all he asks is that I dance for him for several minutes of an evening.
posted by longbaugh at 8:26 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Does kicking ass at Pictionary count?
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:28 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Have two mefites ever slept together?

My parents are both Mefites.
posted by John Cohen at 8:34 AM on June 9, 2011


Here's the thing dude, not only did you meet me in New York, but you spent much of the latter part of the night cockblocking me. I mean, you were fuckin' wasted and didn't have a clue, but damn it was annoying at the time.

That explains so much. I just thought you were, like, weirdly obsessed with me.

Anyway, that was more than two years ago, so maybe we can let bygones be bygones?

Apologies for the cockblocking.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:45 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ha ha ha have mefites ever slept together. You could make an entire season of a trashy CW show just out of the NYC hookups/dates/implosions I know about personally and still have 4 or 5 episodes of usable material left over.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:53 AM on June 9, 2011 [8 favorites]


Ancient metafilter was a mean place full of douchebags, apparently.

Which is why I chortle whenever anyone posts a 'Man, MetaFilter is just totally going downhill/full of jerky pricks/was better back then' lament, and will beat the shit out of anyone who says such things should they have the misfortune of crossing my path IRL.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:54 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I sleep with a mefite every night that one or the other of us isn't out of town. But we knew each other before we knew of metafilter. Or even before mefi existed!
posted by rtha at 8:56 AM on June 9, 2011


Well, there were a few occasions when IAmBroom and I got into a fight and beat each other about the head and body with big heavy sticks.

Fortunately, we were wearing armor at the time, so no permanent damage was done.
posted by tdismukes at 8:56 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


You could make an entire season of a trashy CW show just out of the NYC hookups/dates/implosions I know about personally

Yeah, this is why I always have second and third and fourth thoughts about meetups - I will get drunk and make out with half the people there and drunkenly fite the other half, irrespective of gender and/or willingness.

i mean i guess i could just drink lemonade or something too. hm.
posted by elizardbits at 9:22 AM on June 9, 2011


I have whuffled ferociously many MeFites, does that count?
posted by Specklet at 9:25 AM on June 9, 2011


Beefetish and I have thwacked each other a bit, but it was always just sparring for fun.

Relatedly, beefetish and I also had this thing for a while where every New Years we would somehow manage to almost kick a pregnant person.

We always felt pretty bad about it.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:31 AM on June 9, 2011


If anyone wants me to, tomorrow morning at work, I'll walk down the hall and sock Errant in the shoulder for you.

This is, I daresay, damning and germane evidence of the violence inherent in the system.

It's a pretty empty threat, though. As if CPB has ever walked farther than to the fridge. Boom!
posted by Errant at 9:56 AM on June 9, 2011


Trurl: "Yeah, once I beat the crap of out this guy."

I would have taken you if it weren't for Klapaucius jumping on my back when I wasn't looking...
posted by This Guy at 10:10 AM on June 9, 2011


Also, anybody know why one of those old MeTa posts threw up a virus warning?
posted by This Guy at 10:12 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


You, too? Forefront TMG detected a Trojan on my system right after viewing one of the old pages. Think it was http://metatalk.metafilter.com/10026/Its-hard-to-tell-in-text-if-a-threat-is-serious-so-dont-do-it. Hey pb! Trojan warning!

This is why we can't have nice things.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:18 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have defeated Kattullus in a thowdown in a dive bar.

To be honest, it was a shogi throwdown, well, ok, a game.

To be more honest, it was not so much a dive bar as a nice coffee shop.

A nice coffee shop that serves beer, though.

And tasty cake.

In the interest of full disclosure Kattullus usually wins the games; I got lucky.

But it still counts, right?
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:23 AM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


I prefer beating myself up.
posted by Splunge at 10:51 AM on June 9, 2011


Flapjax at Midnite, I'm pretty sure being able to do that at the drop of a hat is a sign of genius.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:10 AM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


Heck, I give myself credit for just being able to read in meter. That was over the top, flapjax.
posted by zennie at 11:19 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Thirds on the trojan warning.
posted by epersonae at 11:26 AM on June 9, 2011


elizardbits: "Yeah, this is why I always have second and third and fourth thoughts about meetups - I will get drunk and make out with half the people there and drunkenly fite the other half, irrespective of gender and/or willingness."

So are you coming to my party or what?
posted by Eideteker at 11:27 AM on June 9, 2011


Ancient metafilter was a mean place full of douchebags, apparently.

I think it's meaner now in general, but much more heavily moderated.

lil ubu bops me in the face from time to time.

Odd choice of name for such a large penis.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:39 AM on June 9, 2011


Are the virus warnings all coming from the same software? False positives are pretty common.

Anyone know which particular image/domain is triggering it?
posted by pb (staff) at 11:47 AM on June 9, 2011


My parents are both Mefites.

Sins of the father, etc.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:48 AM on June 9, 2011


Here's the thing dude, not only did you meet me in New York, but you spent much of the latter part of the night cockblocking me.

Go on.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:49 AM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


I have McAfee running here on my work computer. It detected W32/Giframer (Virus) in a file called 6CAD3d01. We have some pretty tight security policies running here so it could be a false positive. I'm relatively IT-dumb, so if you need more information or if that's not helpful, let me know!
posted by This Guy at 11:57 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


pb: Didn't even have to view an image, got the notice on page load. Forefront listed:

Detected item was Trojan:JS/Redirector.E

File listed was: ZVGQJ03K\aa2eaf0f[1].gif
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:03 PM on June 9, 2011


I have definitely engaged in physical violence with another MeFite or two, but it was less "coming to blows over what counts as half a deviled egg" and more "we're perverts who do that sort of thing for fun."
posted by rhiannonstone at 12:03 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


If Pictionary counts, laser tag definitely counts.
posted by cobaltnine at 12:04 PM on June 9, 2011


Aliases

Win32/Spy.Bancos.U (ESET)
Trojan-Spy.Win32.Bancos.ha (Kaspersky)
PWS-Banker.gen.h (McAfee)
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:05 PM on June 9, 2011


It's the hotlinked image in this comment. I think it's a false alert.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 12:06 PM on June 9, 2011


I have McAfee running here on my work computer. It detected W32/Giframer (Virus) in a file called 6CAD3d01.

Yep, I did too. I think horselover phattie is right.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:09 PM on June 9, 2011


In my presence, amberglow once stated his immediate intention to pour a drink on ParisParamus at a Revival meetup, but ParisParamus "had to go," and scooted out of there, with amberglow pursuing him towards the door, just a bit out of range.

I miss both of those guys, is that even possible?
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:37 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have been punched in the face by a Mefite. Though given that it was about 20 years ago, I can't really hold Mefi responsible.
posted by anagrama at 12:40 PM on June 9, 2011


I have slept with a mediate on a pool table after closing.


With as in, next to, not with as in ...with.
posted by The Whelk at 12:44 PM on June 9, 2011


"My parents are both Mefites."

I assumed the question referred to post-membership coitus.

You have too much affection for '90s music to be born after '99.
posted by klangklangston at 12:58 PM on June 9, 2011


Isn't affection for 90s music, itself a red flag?
posted by The Whelk at 1:00 PM on June 9, 2011


Sleeping with a mediate is degenderate beehiveior.
posted by heyho at 1:04 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey Afroblanco I get to see gman tomorrow I can punch or hug him for you if you want!
posted by tehloki at 1:04 PM on June 9, 2011


so you started this thread to help decide if you wanted to go to a meetup, to make sure that it wasn't likely to get violent, and now you're going to be the one to start it?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:27 PM on June 9, 2011


I got the warning as well yesterday (Microsoft/Windows Security Essentials). I checked into the thread mentioned so that's probably where I got it as well.
posted by deborah at 1:28 PM on June 9, 2011


Hey Afroblanco I get to see gman tomorrow I can punch or hug him for you if you want!

How about introducing him to a woman he's interested in, to make up for the time I apparently cockblocked him?

(but only if he's willing to let the grudge drop)
posted by Afroblanco at 1:47 PM on June 9, 2011


If this were a wacky 80s comedy, tehloki would show up in drag and you two would hit it off and then: hijinks.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:55 PM on June 9, 2011


It's a pretty empty threat, though. As if CPB has ever walked farther than to the fridge. Boom!

Both shoulders. Free. Any takers?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:57 PM on June 9, 2011


... and then we'd get an apartment with Tom Hanks and Peter Scalari?
posted by Afroblanco at 1:57 PM on June 9, 2011


The first rule of Metafilter Fight Club is that you take it to Meta and talk about it endlessly.
posted by neuromodulator at 2:22 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


So are you coming to my party or what?

i have 102.5 fever with snots pouring out of all facial orifices (yes even my eyes) so prolly no partays for me

*cries*

pro tip: do not let toddlers wipe their nose on your face for they are all crawling with disease
posted by elizardbits at 2:22 PM on June 9, 2011


Jon mc is not 8 ft tall

I'm glad you pointed that out Jess, because nobody would have known that had you not mentioned it.

He's actually 9ft tall.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:25 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm glad you pointed that out Jess, because nobody would have known that had you not mentioned it.

Was talking about gman, but thanks for the gratuitous dig!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:27 PM on June 9, 2011




I'm not having a dig at you - I read like you were having one at me. Did anyone mention gman was 8ft tall ? Away and have a go at someone else, I'm not interested in continuing any bad feeling here.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:42 PM on June 9, 2011


Sorry, was a joke because gman is short! Sorry gman! We can fight next time!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:47 PM on June 9, 2011


ain't there a woman I can sock on the jaw?

Let NFL Hall of Famer Deacon Jones explain this to you: "Anytime you go upside a man’s head, or a woman’s, they have a tendency to blink their eyes."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:50 PM on June 9, 2011


I don't remember gman as being short.

But he was buying me shots at the time.
posted by The Whelk at 2:56 PM on June 9, 2011


In real life, jessamyn is nothing like her online persona. She tried to convince me to come out to one of her dwarf tossing games. And not as spectator either.
posted by gman at 2:56 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I am short also!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:58 PM on June 9, 2011


That's what made the thought of you tossing me so ridiculous.
posted by gman at 3:08 PM on June 9, 2011


I have no personal recollections of anyone being so short it deserved speical notice in my brain like a checkmark reading," is really short"!
posted by The Whelk at 3:09 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Good grief, is MetaFilter filthy with hobbits or something?
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:20 PM on June 9, 2011


Are you saying you hates those hobbitses?
posted by The Whelk at 3:22 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


HI IM TEHLOKI IM RATHER TALL
posted by tehloki at 3:24 PM on June 9, 2011


I'm six four in Wizard hat.
posted by The Whelk at 3:26 PM on June 9, 2011


Now, these things are fuckin' tall and pretty darn cool.
posted by gman at 3:32 PM on June 9, 2011


Thanks for the detective work irfh and Horselover Phattie. I opened that image up in a text editor and there was an iframe and javascript at the bottom—that was probably tripping the alarms. Not sure that would actually cause any harm in any modern browsers but I removed it just to be on the safe side. I re-saved the image to remove the code and we're hosting it locally now for posterity.
posted by pb (staff) at 3:41 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Fun Fact: Every member of the Chicago Cabal* is the exact same height.

*TINCC
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:27 PM on June 9, 2011


That's cause shakespearian cut you all down at the knees.
posted by The Whelk at 4:36 PM on June 9, 2011


"full of wise saws"
posted by clavdivs at 4:38 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


The fiercest person I ever faced was a woman, 5' 4'' working on her first Dan with a degree in english and philosophy.

Gentleman, there is nothing more liberating then to have the person your with have the ability to kick your ass and mind. Bliss.
posted by clavdivs at 4:38 PM on June 9, 2011


Yeah, BDSM, I said that already.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:18 PM on June 9, 2011


Stay Down (KITH Youtube link)
posted by cnanderson at 5:34 PM on June 9, 2011


and it's down.
posted by clavdivs at 5:38 PM on June 9, 2011


Flapjax at Midnite, I'm pretty sure being able to do that at the drop of a hat is a sign of genius.

While I am loathe to deny the possibility that I am indeed a genius, I would say this: I write songs constantly. I am never without a notebook and pen, and I try to write songs even at times when there is absolutely no phrase or sentence or rhyme or idea in my head. Not even a spark of one. But often, at those times, I still grab notebook and pen and start writing. Something. Anything, And surprisingly often, especialy in the past coupla years, it turns into a song that I'm actually proud of and want to perform and record.

Apart from that, of course I always start writing when some little rhyme pops into my head, or I've overheard or read some little fragment of language that inspires me. Or I have an actual *idea* of what I want to write a song *about*.

All that is to say that it's essentially a 24-hour a day job (yes, I've written songs in my dreams at night, too), and therefore, the songwriting muscle is strong and efficient. Cause it really is like a muscle. You use it a lot, and it gets easier and easier to use. I think it's as simple as that, really.

By the way, I'm going downstairs to record it (spoken version) right now. Will post to MeFi Music soon.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:52 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]


Don't you have to post it at midnite?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:59 PM on June 9, 2011


Don't you have to post it at midnite?

Got it up to YouTube at only 7 minutes past midnite! Midnite in New York City, that is, which, after all, is where the Metafilter Brawl would most likely have taken place.

I'll be putting the audio-only (same take as this video) up on Mefi Music soon, but first wanted to edit out the explanatory bit at the beginning. Gotta run now, so no time for that at the red-hot moment.

The Metafilter Brawl
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:14 PM on June 9, 2011 [10 favorites]


*bites tongue into shreds*
posted by brujita at 9:21 PM on June 9, 2011


Well, I assume you needed that 7 minutes to finish your pancakes.
posted by maryr at 9:30 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


I remember a thread involving a user who created a script that would scrape users' Flickr photostreams and put a small picture next to their comments. As I recall it was a cool little thing but one female user went absolutely batshit insane and wished for the person to die. I would have sworn there were physical threats but in reviewing the thread, I did not see that.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:16 AM on June 10, 2011


I recall the thread where grumblebee announced his avatar script, but I don't recall any drama in that thread and glancing through I don't see any either. Plenty of LJ jokes and variations (largely polite, some snarky) on DO NOT WANT, but that was about the worst of it. I don't know if you're thinking of a different thread that touched on that or are just crossing some streams, KevinSkomsvold.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:39 AM on June 10, 2011


and wished for the person to die

You're thinking of naxosaxur and her wish that grumblebee would die of a "rotting bios penis infection."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:55 AM on June 10, 2011


I'm sorry! It wasn't grumblebee, it was null terminated.

What's funny, in retrospect, is that with this remark "the thought of anyone prowling flickr, culling the images, and then curating the selection is just so fucking weird" naxosaxur was well on her way to anticipating Tumblr ...
posted by octobersurprise at 7:03 AM on June 10, 2011


Ah, older. That makes sense.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:04 AM on June 10, 2011


Jeez, MetaFilter WingnutsTM have gotten a lot more boring over the years.

I blame you, cortex.
posted by cmonkey at 7:50 AM on June 10, 2011


I blame Hargrove.
posted by The Whelk at 7:59 AM on June 10, 2011


I blame fluoridation.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:04 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why does this thread make me love this site even more?
posted by ocherdraco at 8:04 AM on June 10, 2011


Subtle hypnosis cues transmitted via word shape and phenome.


I mean- not that.
posted by The Whelk at 8:17 AM on June 10, 2011


cortex: "I recall the thread where grumblebee announced his avatar script, but I don't recall any drama in that thread and glancing through I don't see any either. Plenty of LJ jokes and variations (largely polite, some snarky) on DO NOT WANT, but that was about the worst of it. I don't know if you're thinking of a different thread that touched on that or are just crossing some streams, KevinSkomsvold."

Here it is. It was a script done by the late null terminated. That there was some serious vitriol as I recall.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:01 AM on June 10, 2011


octobersurprise: "and wished for the person to die

You're thinking of naxosaxur and her wish that grumblebee would die of a "rotting bios penis infection."
"

Yep. You got it. Wow, I remember that all now like it was yesterday. Poor null had no idea of the backlash.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:04 AM on June 10, 2011


That thread is fucking nuts, holy shit.
posted by Errant at 11:35 AM on June 10, 2011


I blame the schools.
posted by jonmc at 4:57 PM on June 10, 2011


I blame the cat, he's usually behind everything.
posted by arcticseal at 6:06 PM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


So true. Damn cat's behind in my rent.

No wait, that's me.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:28 PM on June 10, 2011


Damn cat put a rent in my behind. Must remember to clip his nail.
posted by arcticseal at 1:17 AM on June 11, 2011


I'm behind in my rent!
and there's a rent in my behind!
that gaddam cat! I'm goin' outta my mind!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:54 AM on June 11, 2011


I inspired flapjax, that made my evening!
posted by arcticseal at 6:20 AM on June 11, 2011


That thread is fucking nuts, holy shit.

The hilarious thing is that that thread inspired me to do a Google search for photos of naxosaxur. Yep, they're all over Flickr, six years later.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:18 AM on June 11, 2011


any money shots?
posted by clavdivs at 9:01 AM on June 11, 2011


No one had their wallet or purse out, no.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:06 AM on June 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


from related videos on flapjax's epic poem:

this thing

I think somebody needs to make a post about this guy. He lists metatalk as one of his influences...
posted by tehloki at 2:21 PM on June 11, 2011


Beer Garden

Heated Toronto Meet-up

posted by mlis at 9:04 PM on June 11, 2011


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