chatfilter? June 4, 2013 6:59 PM   Subscribe

Are questions that ask for advice and perspectives from those who have gone through similar experiences now considered chatfilter? I think this question should have stayed up.
posted by Anonymous to Etiquette/Policy at 6:59 PM (15 comments total)

I think it was an edge case, but it should have stayed up.
posted by insectosaurus at 7:03 PM on June 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

And I actually came over to Metatalk to see if someone had posted about the deletion. For what it's worth, I very, very rarely disagree with deletions.
posted by insectosaurus at 7:04 PM on June 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm torn. The definition of chatfilter includes "Questions where everyone's answer is equally valid" and "Questions with no problem to be solved or where the problem is some variant of 'I'm curious if other people feel like I do'", which seems to cast a net wide enough to snare not just this question but a great number of Human Relations questions. That said, I still think this particular deletion was a good call.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:04 PM on June 4, 2013

I am super sympathetic to the situation, but the question basically explicitly acknowledges that the asker's dilemma is not something Ask Metafilter can solve and then asks for stories in a very general sense. That is chatfilter, pretty much down to the bare bones of the definition, and the fact that a lot of sort of qualitative human relations questions are on the softer edges of the boundary doesn't make it otherwise.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:06 PM on June 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

Seconding lalex. I have never disagreed with a deletion until now, and I can think of many responses that would have been helpful to the OP.
posted by Shouraku at 7:09 PM on June 4, 2013 [10 favorites]

It seems so similar to the "how do I deal with my stupid and lame boyfriend/girlfriend" questions.

And I think she could have really used our help.
posted by discopolo at 7:10 PM on June 4, 2013 [6 favorites]

Couldn't you just have asked her to reword it before deleting?
posted by discopolo at 7:11 PM on June 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

We're talking to the OP about this, which is how this sort of thing works. There's more going on than we can really discuss and we'd appreciate folks' patience.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:12 PM on June 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

I think it should have stayed up just as many "tell me your perspective questions" have. However, I do appreciate that it was about a very sensitive issue that could have easily become rather inflamed without constant moderator supervision.

I do hope the OP can make peace with whatever decision she ultimately makes.
posted by Tanizaki at 7:33 PM on June 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Please reinstate the question or help the poster tack on a totally bullshit "What are some criteria I can use make this choice?" addendum so it explicitly meets the criteria for Ask.

We will then completely ignore the totally bullshit but explicit faux question tacked on at the end, as we have thousands of times before, to help the poster.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:49 PM on June 4, 2013 [34 favorites]

I appreciate that the mods are trying to work with the poster but...this is someone in a very fragile state who's trying to reach out for help, and if only because shutting someone down in this fragile a state would probably REALLY be a slap in the face, this is not something I'd have done.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:52 PM on June 4, 2013 [14 favorites]

Oh come on. The only thing close to a question is "I'd love to hear thoughts and perspectives and stories and other issues to consider."

If the mods don't delete that as chatfilter they can't delete anything as chatfilter.

I do hope the mods let her re-phrase and ask again.
posted by no regrets, coyote at 7:59 PM on June 4, 2013

I had one deleted as "chatfilter" (coincidentally, also by cortex). I was depressed and wanted people to list stuff that cheered them up. The deletion annoyed me because a jillion questions get asked about "what can I do for my depression?" which get replies like "get more therapy." I knew exactly what would help me but somehow asking for that is against the rules.

However, I don't really get the whole "chatfilter" thing. In a previous life, I was the same person who made a listowner crazy for basically having a different (broader) concept of what should be viewed as "on topic" for the list (I was a moderator, the head honcho moderator in fact). So it might just be a case of "this does not compute for me specifically." (I have a lot of trouble with the seemingly near universal concept that people join discussion boards and then get upset if you talk to them "too much". Or something.)

Fwiw, I memailed the op of this deleted thread, which is what a few people did for me when mine was deleted and it really mattered to me that people did that for me.
posted by Michele in California at 8:03 PM on June 4, 2013 [5 favorites]

FYI: looks like the question is undeleted.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:18 PM on June 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

Hi, yes, the question is undeleted now, so I'm going to close this up.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:19 PM on June 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

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