Metatalktail Hour: Now a Major Motion Picture! February 17, 2018 5:14 PM   Subscribe

Good Saturday evening, MetaFilter! This week, blnkfrnk would like to know "what book people would choose to adapt to a movie. If it has already been adapted, what would you do differently? Casting choices, rewrites, choice of book, type and style of movie, all are open to debate."

As always, they're conversation-starters, not limiters, so talk about anything you want! (Except politics.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee to MetaFilter-Related at 5:14 PM (168 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

The Peter Grant series would make great movies or TV series.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:27 PM on February 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


I'd love to see Tamora Pierce adapted -- maybe to TV, not a movie -- as part of the big trend in fantasy adaptations.

Major Pettigrew's Last Stand is a sweet little British romance that feels like it's dying for an adaptation to the big screen, with lots of great showcase roles for mature actors!

I also thought of The Signature of All Things, and it looks like it's been optioned by Masterpiece Theater, which sounds right.

I'm miserably bad at dream casting so I'll leave that to others, except for when I read the first Harry Potter book and I thought to myself, "Man, if they don't cast Maggie Smith as Minerva McGonagall, they're missing out. I wonder if she'd do a kids' movie." I had just seen The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and she was just so obviously perfect for McGonagall. Didn't know it'd be quite such a cultural phenomenon that landing major British actors would be a cakewalk!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 5:29 PM on February 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


Chuc Mung Nam Moi! To those celebrating lunar new year! My daughters are off enjoying the fruits of their lai see (red envelopes). I'm happy this week because a consultation with a sports doctor revealed a misdiagnosis, which in turn explained a stubbornly persistent running injury. I'm not better, but I think I will get better, now.

Dianna Wynne Jones, the Chrestomanci Chronicles - Harry Potter before there was Harry Potter. Jones' stories offer a world of sophistication, but also she captures what it's like to actually be a child, and the decisions adults make being opaque, baffling scary, etc.

Also, I'd give my eye teeth for a decent adaptation of the Earthsea books - there's a scope and scale there crying out for a real director and budget.
posted by smoke at 5:31 PM on February 17, 2018 [9 favorites]


I would be first in line to see a movie adaptation—or better yet, a PBS miniseries—of Wordshore’s village tales.
posted by bookmammal at 5:39 PM on February 17, 2018 [32 favorites]


Thank you, bookmammal! I immediately looked up the Chrestomanci Chronicles and see that I can start this immediately as an audiobook on YouTube!
posted by peagood at 5:41 PM on February 17, 2018


Since I read it, I have wanted to see either a film or TV adaptation of A Short Stay in Hell. It's character-driven, simple setpieces. A simple universe, even - but one that allows for all sorts of craziness. I think especially since Charlie Brooker has primed us all for dark television, people would be ready for it as well.

I'm going to take a break from my current book and re-read it. I just hope I can convert it from the nook format before B&N goes completely under.
posted by god hates math at 5:42 PM on February 17, 2018


Shouldn't it be a BBC miniseries?
posted by Night_owl at 5:42 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


HA! Absolutely!
posted by bookmammal at 5:44 PM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I would very much like to see The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester, which is basically Count of Monte Cristo with space travel. There are the expected bits they'd need to update (such as the film's typical for its era contemptuous attitude towards women), but there's also amazing raw material: asteroid-based cargo cults, underground lightless/infrared prisons, and a revenge plot to beat all revenge plots. It's one of the great all-time barnburners of scifi and it's flabbergasting it hasn't made it on screen yet.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:45 PM on February 17, 2018 [13 favorites]


Everything by Charles Portis that doesn't have a movie.
posted by edeezy at 5:55 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Id love to see rendezvous with rama(by Arthur c clark) and the trilogy, made into movies. I love the grand huge emptiness of the crafts in the books and the amazing descriptions of the biots. I've often thought clark wrote the books specifically to be movietized. And then as health failed gentry lee helped and the style shifted more towards character development and not clark's world building. Those books STILL take my breath away.
posted by chasles at 6:01 PM on February 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


IIRC, about ten years ago, Morgan Freeman owned the rights to Rama, and hoped to get David Fincher to direct. Obviously none of that happened.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:05 PM on February 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Tangentially related: A year or so ago I decided to read the Discworld Series. I had never read them before, because I didn't want to deal with elves and wizards and stuff. I was an idiot then. I'm not bingeing, because I don't want to burn myself out on them. I started with Wee Free Men, and then hopped back to #1, and now I'm up to #6: Wyrd Sisters. I think the witches are my favorite. When each book starts with "The Great Turtle A'tuin, with four elephants.." I feel as if someone is tucking me in with a blanket and telling me a story. Each book makes me laugh and choke up with tears and ... ANYWAY.

I see there have been some adaptations -- animated and live-action -- are they any good?
posted by kimberussell at 6:12 PM on February 17, 2018 [12 favorites]


Three spring to mind:

There have been several adaptations already, but a really decent, adult-oriented one of The Wind in the Willows - keeping in all of the content from the fuller book (so, that would include the drugs, ultra-violence, mysticism, and most of all - the English class system) would be good. Not sure who would play in it or direct it, but it does have to kept well away from interfering studio executives.

Clive Barker's Weaveworld. Again, has to be done well (and that means that Mr Barker himself is not allowed to direct). There's the (not minor) problems that it is near-impossible to film, and would have (if true to the book) a limiting rating. It would also preferably be shot in the locations in the book. Cal would be played by Cillian Murphy; unsure of the rest.

Huh. Another of my favorite books - Popular Music from Vittula - does have a film adaptation. Which I have not seen; it has okay but not great reviews, so may check that out. The book is one heck of a "growing up in the Swedish forest" romp, with an epic chapter about a wedding feast that turns into a drinking event that turns into a sauna competition, and is probably my favorite chapter of any book.

Oh, a fourth choice would be the Kalevala. A pretty awful loose interpretation of this was turned into a film many years ago (The Day the Earth Froze) - so awful it ended up on Mystery Science Theater 3000. A more recent film was inspired by the story, but is not the story. Do it right but just keep it away from Peter Jackson, else he'll turn it into a franchise of 36 x 4 hour movies.

Oh, and a fifth. The Jesus Cow, which is the most obvious book that should be a Coen Brothers film that is not yet a Coen Brothers film I've ever read.
posted by Wordshore at 6:14 PM on February 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


Jodie Foster owns Leni Riefenstahl’s life rights, and had planned to direct and star in a bio-pic, but has never been able to secure funding. I think that’s a tragedy.
posted by Ideefixe at 6:36 PM on February 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


Marlowe's Tamborline
posted by PinkMoose at 6:36 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


kimberussell; I recently watched the three Discworld movies and thought Going Postal was pretty good, Hogfather and The Colour of Magic didn't quite work. Maybe Pratchett's humor isn't very cinematic.

I am rereading Melissa Scott's Dreamships and Dreaming Metal and think they would be interesting as movies. Celinde's karakuri, puppets, performing illusions on stage would be visually great and the AI and human rights themes are timely. I came up with Christian Kane for Crazy Imre Vaughn and possibly Rebecca Romijn is big enough for Reverdy but it really should be someone less pretty. I am stumped for Red, Celinde and the rest.
posted by Botanizer at 6:41 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


The Old Testament, directed by Tobe Hooper.
posted by Stanczyk at 6:42 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


I've long wanted someone to adapt Larry Niven and Jerry Purnelle's, Lucifer's Hammer. It'd make for a fun post apocalyptic universe.
posted by Fizz at 6:44 PM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


The Art of the Deal, with penis puppets.
posted by Stanczyk at 6:47 PM on February 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Seriously though, I'd love to see Lynda Barry's Ernie Pook's Comeek turned into an animated TV series. And My Favorite Thing is Monsters would probably be a great movie if Guillermo del Toro directed it.
posted by Stanczyk at 6:54 PM on February 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


I've long wanted someone to adapt Larry Niven and Jerry Purnelle's, Lucifer's Hammer. It'd make for a fun post apocalyptic universe.

There's lots of bad Pournelle stuff in that one, like the band of cannibals led by the angry black man who constantly spouts black-power slogans from blaxpoitation movies.

Can I tempt you with Footfall as a substitute?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:03 PM on February 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


I've always thought the Tiffany Aching books would make a good movie. True Grit era Hailee Steinfeld as Tiffany. The Full Monty era Robert Carlyle as Rob Anybody. Emily Blunt as Miss Tick. Penelope Wilson as Nanny Ogg. Diana Rigg as Granny Weatherwax. Tilda Swinton as the Queen. Martin Freeman as the Toad. Prisoner of Azkaban era Rupert Grint as Roland.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:03 PM on February 17, 2018 [9 favorites]


I think Eragon and Ella Enchanted need reboots that are truer to the original stories than the first renditions were.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:04 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


If it has already been adapted, what would you do differently?

I remember being SHOCKED that The Neverending Story movie ended halfway through the book. The first time I ever was truly disgusted by Hollywood.

(Now I work here and feel disgust every day.)
posted by roger ackroyd at 7:04 PM on February 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


I used to adore the Elizabeth Peters' Amelia Peabody mystery series and really wanted to see it made into a miniseries. It's been a while though. I wonder if the book are full of squicky colonialism that I missed on the first read. Probably.
posted by selfmedicating at 7:24 PM on February 17, 2018


There's lots of bad Pournelle stuff in that one, like the band of cannibals led by the angry black man who constantly spouts black-power slogans from blaxpoitation movies.

Can I tempt you with Footfall as a substitute?


Shit, you know what, I haven't read that book since I was 17 and I was young and stupid and sadly probably glossed over that terrible characterization. What you described is grody, ugh.

Hmm,I've not read Footfall or Ringworld, maybe I'll venture into Niven a bit more deeply based on this referral. Thanks.
posted by Fizz at 7:33 PM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


So since I've already outed myself as a gigantic Trekkie I might as well double down. Many of the paperback novels continuing the various shows are really script-worthy but the one that would make a very nice mini-series is the "Destiny" Trilogy, which brings together pretty much everyone for the final showdown and backstory of the borg. You have Picard on the Enterprise E, the now *captain* Ezri Dax and her ship- And a lovely flashback (and more SHHH no spoilers) involving the Columbia helmed by Erika Hernandez from the ugly step-child of Trek, ENT. Since it takes place in the future continuity, the actors are about the right age now for most of their parts! (if maybe a little older) (Hernandez might have to be recast shhhh spoilers) It has *huge* stakes as while the mysteries of the borg are slowly being solved and explained the A story is that the Borg are just fed-up and decide fuck it- we're destroying the Alpha quadrant. And it is terrifying. Billions killed. The Borg fulfill their promise as villains in this series. All the terror 80's and 90's television could not do.
Seven has a huge part as you might guess, and there's a great part for Garak, now the Cardassian ambassador to the Federation.
I suppose if the actors passed on it (age might be a factor for some) It would also do really well as an animated mini-series, with the OG actors reprising voice roles. This is a GIGANTIC pipe dream (never gonna happen) but In my dreams- yeah this.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:34 PM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


Starship Troopers featuring Power Armour. And Orbital insertions. And Tactical Nukes. A Knight's Tale Shannyn Sossamon as Rico to generate an internet outrage as marketing. Sean Connery as Rasczak. Jackie Chan as Zim. Neal Patrick Harris as Carl. Olivia Jackson as DuBois.
posted by Mitheral at 7:36 PM on February 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


If it has already been adapted, what would you do differently?

I loved John Irving's book The World According to Garp and remain incredibly irritated by the movie. First off, it opened with a scene not present in the book; a plane (actually a biplane piloted by a completely annoying central casting fool wearing an aviator scarf, goggles and leather helmet) hits a home Garp is thinking of buying. Garp immediately tells the shocked Realtor "We'll take it!" reasoning "What are the odds of this happening again?!?" Yes, Garp was concerned about safety, but that's ridiculous. And I blame the casting choice for Garp--Robin Williams--whose schtick Just. Isn't. Garp.

Speaking of John Irving, the fact that there's never been a complete adaptation of A Prayer for Owen Meany also still rankled; "Simon Birch" doesn't cut it.

But the most egregious casting decision of all time: Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher.
posted by carmicha at 7:51 PM on February 17, 2018 [8 favorites]


(upon reflection, you could maybe do a perfectly passable version of Lucifer's Hammer if you made the cannibal gang a bunch of white-power sad-sacks)
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:59 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Iain M. Banks's Matter is the Culture book I'd most like to see filmed, and let's make it animated since there are so many weird aliens and different-sized humanoids.
I don't really have any good casting ideas for it, though.

I think Consider Phlebas could be streamlined a little to make a good whizbang action movie even if the ending is decidedly not a whizbang action movie ending (which is kinda the point).

I'm reading The Lies of Locke Lamora right now, and I kinda want to see Diego Luna as Locke and Ian McShane as Chains.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 8:25 PM on February 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


I have no idea why Neuromancer hasn't made it to the screen. At base it's a thriller, a caper movie with special effects that are well within the capabilities of current tech.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:37 PM on February 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


I would be first in line to see a movie adaptation—or better yet, a PBS miniseries—of Wordshore’s village tales.

Speaking of MeFite works, I'm not generally one for coming of age stories, but I'd buy an advance ticket for robocop is bleeding's "The Wheel".
posted by solotoro at 8:38 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Is this the thread where I express my incipient fears about the upcoming adaptation of A Wrinkle in Time
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:39 PM on February 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


because I'm worried that it's going to be an action-adventure shitshow
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:39 PM on February 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Sometimes if I can't fall asleep, I imagine casting Denis Johnson's novel Angels. It's a very powerful book (which, by the way, has nothing whatsoever to do with those flitting ninnies and their wings and harps), and I'm always surprised when I recall that Johnson's Jesus' Son was filmed and not Angels. I'd stick to the book one hundred percent. It's a linear narrative and far more cinematic, in my opinion, than the linked stories of Jesus' Son. Here goes: Bill Houston: Edward Norton. Jamie Mays: Kristen Stewart. Ned Higher-and-Higher: Joaquin Phoenix. Mrs. Houston: Jennifer Jason Leigh. Burris Houston: James Franco. Jeanine: Dakota Fanning. James Houston: Sam Rockwell. Ford Williams: Casey Affleck. Freddy: Aaron Paul. Richard Clay Wilson: Don Cheadle.
posted by scratch at 8:41 PM on February 17, 2018


>>>the most egregious casting decision of all time: Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher

Agreed x 1,000,000. It's totally fucking obvious that Reacher is Henry Rollins.
posted by scratch at 8:51 PM on February 17, 2018 [10 favorites]


One more vote for Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg on the big screen.
Hogfather just didn't really come together for me. Michelle Dockery was a credible Susan, and Marc Warren was lovely and fey and peculiar as Teatime (and as the Gentleman in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell).
But Death should have been more... grim. More like Pennywise in It. This is the Grim Reaper, not an addled philosophy professor.
posted by TrishaU at 8:57 PM on February 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Tad Williams' Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series. If you don't know it, GRRM cites it as an influence. I like it better than Game of Thrones. I don't know many contemporary actors, so I'd be hardpressed to cast it.

YES PLEASE to Wynne Jones Chrestomanci and a decent Earthsea. (LeGuin was FURIOUS when they made Ged white in that abominatiion that was made before, and I agreed with her.)

And my beloved dark horse: the awesome and sadly now deceased Janet Kagan wrote a little-known novel called Mirabile. It's almost a story collection, with a great female protagonist and gene-spliced-animals-and-plants shenanigans. See, as a redundancy, in case a species was lost, the scientists from Earth hid the genes for different living organisms inside the DNA of other organisms, to come out with the right set of conditions. But...the colonists don't have the manual, so to speak. So you end up with things like ....ooooh, it's too spoilerish to say. But very fun writing, humorous and thought-provoking. Annie Jason Masmajean is a great character. The story structure of the novel would lend itself to an episodic TV adaptation. But a full hour for sure.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 8:57 PM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I know this is an unpopular opinion around here but I have zero plans to see A Wrinkle in Time. The casting and the costuming just don't sync up with the mental pictures I formed when I read the book all those years ago.
posted by vignettist at 9:46 PM on February 17, 2018


I still haven't seen The Dark Is Rising because I don't want to know what they did to that poor book
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:55 PM on February 17, 2018 [8 favorites]


Ancillary Justice could be a great film (or trilogy) if it remained true to its race and gender treatments in the source material. I’d vote for 1980s Grace Jones as Breq.
posted by janell at 10:01 PM on February 17, 2018 [6 favorites]


Janelle Monae as Anaander Mianaai
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:20 PM on February 17, 2018 [8 favorites]


I’m with but Anander is a (I think) a dude and (definitely) super dark skinned per the text. I think Janelle Monae would be delightfully sassy and Machiavellian as Lt Tisarwat.
posted by janell at 10:24 PM on February 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


Okay yeah
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:26 PM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


And I don’t know what the text would be, but I would love a strange-lady vehicle with Grace Jones, Annie Lennox, and Tilda Swinton.
posted by janell at 10:28 PM on February 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


I really would like The Chronicles of Prydain to be a trilogy. Disney acquired the rights two years ago, though, and not a crunching or munching has been heard since.
posted by xyzzy at 11:12 PM on February 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


Snow Crash, please.

A is for Alibi, B is for Burglar, etc. with Maggie Gyllenhaal as Kinsey Milhone.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:12 PM on February 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


On second thought, I think I recall that Sue Grafton never wanted that?
posted by iamkimiam at 11:38 PM on February 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I still haven't seen The Dark Is Rising because I don't want to know what they did to that poor book

It is an abomination in the nostrils of God. I can't remember why I watched it because I knew it was going to be bad but Holy Jesu on a steam-powered pogo stick, I didn't think it was going to be THAT bad.
posted by ninazer0 at 12:04 AM on February 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


A Gormenghast movie (or three) would be something to see. Preferably with grand visuals, an all-star cast and a director who isn't afraid to let them chew the scenery.
posted by aws17576 at 12:07 AM on February 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


I'd love to see a biopic of Charles "Proteus" Steinmetz, the Wizard of Schenectady. It would make a great period piece.
posted by Soliloquy at 12:09 AM on February 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


My only casting request for a Snow Crash movie is Christopher Walken plays Uncle Enzo.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:09 AM on February 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


I have been pining for a visual media adaptation of "World War Z", and, so far, all I got was a in-title-only disappointing movie.

So, I think the book would be best represented as a mini-series with (at least) 1 hour long episodes. If they could get the voice actors from the audiobook, that would be a great bonus!
posted by alchemist at 12:14 AM on February 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


Nobody has mentioned John Crowley? Ok, I would like to see "Little, Big" as an animated miniseries, with a lot of sepia tones and maybe Ione Sky as the voice of Alice.
posted by janepanic at 3:06 AM on February 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


Hi kimberussell, indeed Going Postal is the best of the live action Pratchett films but the cartoon series Weird Sisters is the best overall. Why it's all over Youtube for free is beyond me.
posted by glasseyes at 4:16 AM on February 18, 2018 [7 favorites]


A Gormenghast movie (or three) would be something to see. Preferably with grand visuals, an all-star cast and a director who isn't afraid to let them chew the scenery.

The BBC adaptation from 2000 is as close to that as makes no odds, and is unlikely ever to be bettered (it's amazing that such an odd thing was done so extravagantly at all).
posted by Grangousier at 4:27 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


What about The Waterworks by E L Doctorow?
posted by octothorpe at 5:59 AM on February 18, 2018


I remember being SHOCKED that The Neverending Story movie ended halfway through the book. The first time I ever was truly disgusted by Hollywood.

(Now I work here and feel disgust every day.)
posted by roger ackroyd at 10:04 PM on February 17


So the story never actually ended then, did it? Just sayin'.
posted by Stanczyk at 6:24 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


The Westing Game, but shot on a budget of under a million and strictly adhering to the time it was written (1978). Low budget saves it from either going Wes Anderson twee or CGI spectacle. Time frame saves it from updating things to include modern technology. Seriously, I got cranked when Judy Blume updated Are You There God, It's Me Margaret to take out the menstrual belt because I'm a temporal purist I guess.

So far I've got:

Jake Wexler: Ben Stiller
Grace Wexler: Amanda Peet
Angela Wexler: Dreama Walker
Turtle Wexler: ?
Denton Deere: Daniel Radcliffe
Baba: Melanie Mayron
Judge Ford: Taraji Henderson
Sandy: Sacha Baren Cohen
posted by fluttering hellfire at 6:40 AM on February 18, 2018 [8 favorites]


I'd love to see Ottessa Moshfegh's Eileen made into a movie or miniseries. It would need the right director, though, to translate the darkness and complexity of the story (including the main character's relationship to her body, family, and the world around her) to the screen, ideally someone like Lynne Ramsay (Ratcatcher; Morvern Callar) or, for a very different style, Asia Argento (Scarlet Diva).
posted by Dip Flash at 6:40 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Film each Shakespeare play (or at least the more interesting ones) to approximate being there the first season. Multiple cameras so I can be down with the groundlings, up with the well-to-do, or backstage to watch goings on there. Male actors and original accents, makeup, lighting, costumes, music, dancing, trap doors, smoke, and the occasional cannon. Also, temporarily wipe my memory of everything that occurred after 1616 or so.
posted by pracowity at 6:53 AM on February 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


I got the name wrong, it's Wyrd Sisters. Among the voice artists are June Whitfield, Eleanor Bron, Annette Crosbie and Jane Horrocks, which should tell you a bit about the quality of it if you know classic british telly. Oh, and Christopher Lee. It's the closest thing to a moving Discworld novel ever.
posted by glasseyes at 6:58 AM on February 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

I have been pining for a visual media adaptation of "World War Z", and, so far, all I got was a in-title-only disappointing movie.

So, I think the book would be best represented as a mini-series with (at least) 1 hour long episodes. If they could get the voice actors from the audiobook, that would be a great bonus!
They definitely should do it as a Ken-Burns-style multiple-episode documentary series.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:05 AM on February 18, 2018 [13 favorites]


I would love to see a thoughtful biopic about Rachel Carson, that heavily uses her own writing.

The thing is, I don't want to watch a courtroom thriller about her crusade against pesticide companies, or a movie about her struggle as a female scientist in a male-dominated industry, or about the deep friendship/romantic relationship between herself and Dorothy Freeman. I think I just want to watch her collecting samples in the field, working quietly and steadfastly in her lab, passionately writing letters and papers, and watching birds fly overhead...all while having her works (excerpts of Silent Spring, and the entirety of A Sense of Wonder) done in a voice-over.

I may be the only person who would go see that. This is why I am not in show business.
posted by Elly Vortex at 7:59 AM on February 18, 2018 [8 favorites]


The novels of Dawn Powell would make good movies or limited HBO/Netflix series. Her Ohio novels would be depressing period pieces but I imagine her stories set in New York could be made more contemporary. I believe Julia Roberts optioned one or more of them but nothing ever came of it.

Likewise any Richard Russo novels that haven't already been made into movies would work. I saw him at a reading for Everybody's Fool, the follow-up to Nobody's Fool, and he said Hollywood showed zero interest in turning that into a movie.
posted by plastic_animals at 8:13 AM on February 18, 2018


I thought I read that Jennifer McMahon's The Winter People got optioned but I'm coming up with nothing.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:23 AM on February 18, 2018


because I'm worried that it's going to be an action-adventure shitshow

I am scared about this too, tivalasvegas, and I keep telling myself 'well, it's a trailer, they have to show the actioniest and adventuriest bits in the trailer, that's how trailers work, Ava DuVernay is talented, the Camazotz scene looks about right (although a lot more Technicolor than I ever pictured it, but again, it's a trailer)

but then i hear that 'BE A WARRIOR' line and i start to worry again
posted by halation at 8:24 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


I also share the WiT trepidation.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:27 AM on February 18, 2018


I am tired of CGI. I think the last time it really worked in a movie for me instead of being all 'HEY LOOK AT OUR FX BUDGET SHINY THINGS' was Eternal Sunshine because it was used skillfully in the story itself.

The worst was the remake of King Kong, and I only went because I was being a generous girlfriend at the time. Hated it. It was like watching a video game played by a dimwitted 13 year old.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:31 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


And dimwitted 13 year old kind of describes how my boyfriend was then. (he was 25)
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:32 AM on February 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


I would love to see a mini-series version of either Roadside Picnic, or The Diamond Age. I think Walter Jon Williams' Voice of the Whirlwind would also make a pretty good short mini-series.

However, my real dream would be to see an epic-scale, three film adaptation of the manga version of Miyazaki's Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. They'd need to get someone like Guillermo del Toro to direct it, though.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:18 AM on February 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


I'm happy so long as the Judge Dredd: Mega City One show is still moving towards happening.
posted by biffa at 9:21 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Knee-Deep in Thunder by Sheila Moon.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:48 AM on February 18, 2018


I just finished reading Meddling Kids last night and I would love to see a movie or miniseries adaptation of it. Parts of it are already written in script form.
posted by Fuego at 9:56 AM on February 18, 2018


I would love to see a thoughtful biopic about Rachel Carson, that heavily uses her own writing....I may be the only person who would go see that.

As a Chatham alumna, I think I have the authority to say that you would not be the only person who would go see that. I'd want to see it anyway, but I think the Board might take our degrees away if we did not see such a movie about Our Blessed Rachel.

When reading the Discworld books, I always pictured Vetinari as Alan Rickman and I'm sad that never happened.
posted by Ruki at 10:09 AM on February 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


A book I would love to see made into a film, and it would have to be a weird, quirky, indie film is another one by Diana Wynne Jones, this time an adult novel set in Bristol. It's called Deep Secret. It has murderous dynastic intrigues, centaurs, computerised magic and Bristol Suspension Bridge in it among other things. Whoever made it would have to respectfully visualize the clunky 90's cutting edge-edge computer element convincingly. Due to Wynne Jones's own upbringing she had a jaundiced view of parental/familial inadequacy which gives all her work a harder edge than is obvious; that would also need to make it into the film without being tidied up. I'd watch the hell out of that if it were made right. Oh, and Ben Whishaw for Rupert Venables without a doubt.

There's a certain sort of English fantasy novel that I really don't like to see as a film, because film is so overproduced these days and it's very difficult for the edges and ambiguities and untidinesses to make it through the filmmaking process. Also, there's been a sort of upper middleclass capture of film and telly in the UK lately that to me makes things like the recentish efforts on Narnia, Gormenghast and E.Nesbit utterly unwatchable. I find them complacent and altogether too sure of their credentials. And the child actors are insufferable. The authors of those books suffered a great deal of insecurity and (class) anxiety in their lives - maybe not CS Lewis but he had other weird subtextual things going on. Writing has never been a generally secure profession in financial terms up until recently with Hollywood jackpots coming to a favoured few; I think that may be part of the reason more current adaptations seem so jarring to me. I'm not explaining this very well. The adaptation of The Railway Children starring Jenny Agutter from 1970 is a beloved film but I bet if it had been made within the last 10 years it would have cost a lot of money, made a lot of money, been written up all over the place and not been even half so resonant.

When my kids were the right age for sophisticated visual storytelling I enjoyed what was on offer so much more. Things like The Owl Service, The Children of the Stones, The Moondial; young people's fantasy television had a kind of roughness and openness to it that it doesn't seem to have any more.

I do think the works of Alan Garner maybe have enough grit and strangeness to counteract the awful current smoothing effect on any new adaptations of his work. Maybe. But then just think of the mess that was made of Pullman's His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass.)
posted by glasseyes at 10:39 AM on February 18, 2018 [11 favorites]


Nothing has a roughness anymore, which is probably why I was so blown away by Under the Skin. It's like Saul Bass made this from his own afterlife.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 10:43 AM on February 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


Yes, Under the Skin is strange and watchable, and Stranger Things which homaged a whole chunk of it, is into disappearing returns territory now.
posted by glasseyes at 10:51 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


I don't think American television has suffered the same sort of cultural capture I'm talking about for British fantasy telly though. It's a bit as if all of a beloved genre was being produced with the same values as The Waltons.
posted by glasseyes at 10:53 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

I don't think American television has suffered the same sort of cultural capture I'm talking about for British fantasy telly though.
I actually think that American TV suffered that cultural capture a really, really long time ago, and what we're seeing now is a backlash. For a really long time, almost everyone on American TV was upper-middle-class or above, with a few notable exceptions.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 11:08 AM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Yes, fair enough, I'd agree
posted by glasseyes at 11:11 AM on February 18, 2018


Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere! It was my favorite of his books. They made American Gods; why can't they make Neverwhere next?

Also, SM Stirling's Island in the Sea of Time/Dies the Fire books. Those should probably be at least a miniseries, if not a whole TV show.
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:14 PM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere! It was my favorite of his books. They made American Gods; why can't they make Neverwhere next?

They did. 20 years ago on the BBC.
posted by macapes at 1:25 PM on February 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


I’ve said it before, but I’m amazed nobody’s picked up Eric Flint’s 1632 series.
posted by MrBadExample at 1:42 PM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


I'd love to see Kate Atkinson's A God in Ruins done properly by the BBC as maybe a four part serial. Ditto on not understanding why Neuromancer has never been filmed (especially as you have a trilogy there that's eminently do-able in terms of sequels). One for Netflix, perhaps? Would be interested to see what Denis Villeneuve would do with The Peripheral as a feature too?
posted by Chairboy at 2:11 PM on February 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


I've mentioned a couple of times on MetaFilter how much I loved Bae Suah's A Greater Music. It's one of those books of which it could be said that nothing much happens, but also quite a lot happens. I'd love to see it turned into a film, with its very specific setting of the outskirts of Berlin in winter, and awkward love triangle.
posted by Kattullus at 2:21 PM on February 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


George R.R. Martin's "Dying of the Light." I think it would be a great multi-part series, maybe Netflix would want a Martin property.
posted by Marky at 2:36 PM on February 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


I would love to see Steven Soderberg direct Ricardo Darin in anything , but Darin won't work in North America. :(
posted by fluttering hellfire at 2:49 PM on February 18, 2018


I think a good movie, or maybe streaming mini series, would be Wuthering Heights but including the very funny black comedy that the book starts with that frames the story. Cut out or minimize all the parts we know by heart.
posted by bleep at 3:27 PM on February 18, 2018




Even if it's cliche but any director that could distill Infinite Jest into a mini-series, kudos.

REM's The Great Beyond would work well as music in the trailer that would feature 1-2 second snippets of each major character - I don't care that it's already used in man on the moon!
posted by fizzix at 4:03 PM on February 18, 2018


I think a good movie, or maybe streaming mini series, would be Wuthering Heights but including the very funny black comedy that the book starts with that frames the story. Cut out or minimize all the parts we know by heart.

As a character, Mr. Lockwood suffers from interior narration disease--so much of his "oh honey, no" behavior is actually in his head. But he's a great parody of Heathcliff before Heathcliff arrives on the scene.

I'd vote for something less familiar: Anne Bronte's The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, which got a miniseries some years back (great heroine + some anti-Jane Eyre snark at work in her relationship to the Rochester stand-in). Charlotte's Villette might also be interesting, except that the heroine spends much of the novel being deliberately withdrawn, and one of the plot twists probably doesn't work in a visual medium.

Now, if we're being really out there, an art-house Rashomon-style take on Robert Browning's The Ring and the Book...I mean, you'd need a really adventurous (foolhardy?) director, but I could see Tom Stoppard being willing to have a go at reworking the verse for film.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:20 PM on February 18, 2018


As I'm everso slightly in my cups, I'll confess this (possibly again): I'm one of those people who sometimes imagines film versions of books they know really well as an anti-insomnia strategy (while I'm failing to get to sleep). Michael Moorcock's The Dancers at the End of Time is (as I've mentioned several times, I'm sure) my favourite fantasy novel - I read it at exactly the right moment in my teenage years and it wormed its way into my consciousness. So the anti-insomnia version of that book that I've imagined I have recently cast entirely (largely as an exercise) with actors from post-2005 Doctor Who. So Matt Smith as Jherek Carnelian, Jenna Coleman as Mrs Amelia Underwood (she would be perfect for that actually), Peter Capaldi as Lord Jagged, Alex Kingston as The Iron Orchid, David Tennant as Mr Underwood and so forth. I don't really have anyone good for H.G Wells or Frank Harris as I don't, thankfully, stay awake long enough.

I think it would be excellent as a five-to-seven-part series, much as Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell was. Except, of course, the effects budget would be at least as unaffordable as the casting budget.

Christopher Eccleston as the Police Sergeant.

Actually, another problem I have is very poor reading comprehension, such that I often "cast" books when I'm reading them in order to keep track of what's going on. I've long intended to re-read Dancers with these actors involved. I once read through Hamlet, casting it with actors from Breaking Bad (and transferring it to the Denmark Ranch in Texas or New Mexico somewhere). It worked really well.

I always used to cast Billie Whitelaw as Granny Weatherwax, and a young Jane Horrocks as Magrat Garlick. Goes to show how old I am and how long I've been doing this nonsense. I sleep a lot better these days, though, I'm glad to report.

A recent hypnogogic fantasy has been a version of Mr Miracle with the young leads of Stranger Things(well, Finn Wolfhard and Millie Bobbie Brown) as flashback versions of Scott Free and Barda, with Helen Mirren as Granny Goodness. The other casting vacillates, but I've long thought it should sound like Nautilus by the godlike Anna Meredith.

This all goes to show why I'm not allowed near actual movies, of course.
posted by Grangousier at 4:52 PM on February 18, 2018 [7 favorites]


Oh, and speaking of Stoppard (as someone was before I started going on like that), I'd really like a film based on Arcadia. I love that play - I saw the original version with Rufus Sewell, Felicity Kendall and Bill Nighy almost by accident. I suppose it would be sensible to cast Aidan Turner (in some ways the Rufus Sewell de nos jours) as Septimus Hodge, but apart from that it doesn't matter.

(The casting director breathes a sigh of relief.)

Actually, Colin Firth as Bernard Nightingale would be sensible, wouldn't it. I'd like to have Julia Louis-Dreyfus, with or without affected English accent, as Hannah Jarvis.
posted by Grangousier at 5:02 PM on February 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


Michael Moorcock's The Dancers at the End of Time ... cast entirely (largely as an exercise) with actors from post-2005 Doctor Who.

I would watch this hard. Really.
posted by Chairboy at 5:33 PM on February 18, 2018


I recently read (and loved) Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and immediately started casting it in my head. I think Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Fleabag) would be great as Eleanor, Emun Elliot (The Paradise) as Raymond, Brenda Blethyn as Raymond's mother, Anna Chancellor as Eleanor's Mummy, and Jim Broadbent as Sammy.

Apparently Reese Witherspoon has acquired the rights, but I'd rather it remain in Scotland and not be transplanted to an American setting.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:52 PM on February 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


I think Contact should get a complete do-over.
posted by ctmf at 5:56 PM on February 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


Nthing the Tamora Pierce Tortall books.

It'd be great if Robin McKinley's Damar novels (The Blue Sword> and The Hero and the Crown) could be adapted, but the "colonial/imperial vs native desert tribes" angles would need careful handling.

Batgirl: Year One absolutely should have been a movie years ago. And some compression of Gail Simone's original run on Birds of Prey could be fantastic, if the script is kept intelligent. I realized about a decade ago that tons of known actresses could handle the parts of Barbara Gordon, Dinah Lance, Helena Bertinelli, and Zinda Blake, if the script is decent. Although, when I first started thinking about it, I liked the idea of Mary McCormack as Dinah, and I could imagine Reese Witherspoon having a lot of fun playing Zinda Blake.

The Amelia Rules! comics by Jimmy Gownley. Definitely would be animated movies, in a decently-run world. I always thought that network "synergy" should allow something like this to happen with costs split between two or more channels owned under the same corp umbrella - like Disney XD and Lifetime have owners in common, so half the productions costs could go under each for a positive-teen-female-lead cartoon series.

The Hot Rock, by Donald Westlake. Yes, they did this in `73 with Redford as Dortmunder. I think it is time to re-do the series. This time, Paul Giamatti as Dortmunder. ( A lot of the other adaptations kept changing Dortmunder's name, too. Sigh.)

Girl Genius by Kaja and Phil Foglio. Another project that would be done by now in a sensible world.

Some of the early Vlad Taltos books by Steven Brust. It's been a while since I read them, so I'm not sure which ones should be adapted. But I think the overall universe is one people need to see.

Some of the early Garrett P.I. books by Glen Cook. (Um, Peter Jackson? WETA? Do you need more fantasy-film source material? You really should be looking here.) I'd joke that 1990's Timothy Hutton should have been Garrett, given the books' riffing on the Nero Wolfe mysteries dynamic.

The Deed of Paksenarrion novels by Elizabeth Moon. Some of the ending would have to be tamed down, or elided in certain ways, to keep from being horror-pr0n. But hell, a decent script of this would have been an excellent job for Gwendoline Christie as Paks, ten years ago.
posted by Mutant Lobsters from Riverhead at 6:05 PM on February 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


Wally Lamb, I know this much is true

You need to read this book. You need to sit and read this book. You need to read this book. It is so well written. You need to read it.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:22 PM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


(I secretly asked this so I would have ideas of what to read next.)

My actual favorite genre of movie is "movies about making a movie, play, or television show," and Whores of Lost Atlantis by Charles Busch has always struck me as a very dense work that has a lot going for it-- production pressure! the drag scene! some crime/heist shenanigans! romance! 80's-early-90's NYC! Drag is having a cultural moment right now, too. In the right hands, this could be really something. This is one of the few books where the movie might actually be better because some of the intense level of detail and multi-layered character relationships could be show and not tell. Man, is this book a lot of tell. So much tell.

My first choice if I'm making it myself is Uneasy Money by P.G. Wodehouse. It has a really tight plot that could be easily translated to the modern era or to anywhere and anywhen that has a city and a rural area connected by trains. (A lot of the plot is missed connections, but I'd argue that the way they're written, you could modernize with a lot of "I lost signal in the rural area on the train oh no!") It's a one-off, the plot is relatable, it has a sweet happy ending, and the right writers could do a lot with the basic structure and concepts. Unlike a lot of Wodehouse, the humor is not entirely wedded to the use of language (his one-offs are like that-- the extraordinary command of language is certainly a part of it, but it's a bit simpler and easier to adapt.) Wouldn't need to be expensive. If I had to write a play overnight, I would crib from Uneasy Money.

But now you've mentioned Diana Wynne Jones, I'd love to see Archer's Goon, which is one of my favorite books ever. It has fantasy elements as well as a silly escalation of chaos throughout that would be really fun to film. I would want to shoot it on film and style it very 80's, to be true to the text (the vision of the future the characters experience comes across as a very 80's vision of the future, to me.) Wikipedia tells me there's a miniseries, but I'm sort of afraid to look it up, since the author's discussion of it is lukewarm and rarely do adaptations stand up to the book.

And now I'm on a roll-- they ought to do some of Connie Willis. I think Doomsday Book would be an excellent choice. Blackout/All Clear would be more epic than I'm willing to trust the industry to handle and To Say Nothing of the Dog is too abstruse.
posted by blnkfrnk at 7:14 PM on February 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


Oh goodness The Cornish Trilogy, so long overdue for a miniseries. That's my final answer, right there.
posted by blnkfrnk at 7:17 PM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


The Phantom Tollbooth has a past not so great movie, and there is talk about another version being in the works. What *I* would love to see is a version done by the people who did Coraline.
posted by gudrun at 7:45 PM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


This isn't one book, but I'd like to see an adaptation of Dominica Phetteplace's series of stories about the emergence of sentient AI in a plutocratic future.
posted by audi alteram partem at 8:27 PM on February 18, 2018


Justin Scott's The Shipkiller was almost lensed when it was published in 1978 and again in 2012 but somehow has fallen through again. I think shooting at sea is just too expensive but it'd make a great anti-corporate thriller.
posted by nicwolff at 8:28 PM on February 18, 2018


'The Shipping News' needs to be redone with Quoyle properly cast. I mean, he's an enormous man with an enormous chin, it utterly defines who he is as a character. He carries around this broken soul inside an entirely misleading body (when not in the right context) and Kevin Spacey got the part? Ludicrous, this needs to be fixed immediately!

Also, Georgette Heyer's Regencies are such a source of fun; so witty and just imagine the costumes and the dinner scenes!
posted by h00py at 4:08 AM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


"Speak to the Winds" Ruth Moore's island novel set in early 20th century. I read it once a year or so. About the real Maine. But the accents would have to be right.
posted by Gnella at 4:37 AM on February 19, 2018


The Phantom Tollbooth has a past not so great movie, and there is talk about another version being in the works. What *I* would love to see is a version done by the people who did Coraline.

Matt Shakman to Helm TriStar's 'Phantom Tollbooth' Adaptation
posted by octothorpe at 5:39 AM on February 19, 2018


I second Neverwhere but also The Graveyard Book! So many of Neil Gaiman's books have been turned into movies or tv series so I'm hopeful yet.

I saw a poster this weekend advertising the Chaos Walking trilogy books by Patrick Ness, which was saying that it was turned into a screenplay and OMG it's already in post with Daisy Ridley and Tom Holland alongside some other great names! I am very excited and anxious about that.
posted by like_neon at 6:17 AM on February 19, 2018


I followed octothorpe's link and it had a link to an article saying Patrick Stewart might return as Picard if Tarantino directs, as we (well me anyway) got excited about back in December. Now I am all excited again.
posted by biffa at 6:21 AM on February 19, 2018


The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay is my perennial vote. But the casting would have to be juuuust right, especially for Josef. He'd need to be the kind of actor that you just can't tear you eyes from. About 25% of the actors spoken of in the Wiki section about how this project kept getting revived for 30 seconds and then axed again would actually fit the bill. Ben Whishaw, yes. Andrew Garfield, no, Jason Schwartzman, hell no.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:50 AM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser

HBO will desperately need a show of this style post GoT and the stories would probably work better as an omnibus series than a full film. It would certainly need a serious production budget. Perhaps Dolph Ludngren and Neil Patrick Harris.
posted by sammyo at 6:59 AM on February 19, 2018 [6 favorites]


All 6 Dune books as a Game of Thrones styles prestige show. (I don't know if Dennis Villenuve's Dune is still on, but it's a better fit as a show.) Game of Thrones was supposedly written as an unfilmable fantasy story. So giving the legendarily "unfilmable" Dune the same treatment fits.
Hire a lot of martial artists from different schools to create the various fighting styles of the Fremen, Atreides or Sardaukar.


Really lean into the post God Emperor weird stuff. (I'm sure HBO will be more than happy to have the post-diaspora sex nuns)
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 7:22 AM on February 19, 2018 [6 favorites]


The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay is my perennial vote.

Michael Chabon in general seems like an under-adapted writer to me. The lost-in-limbo Coen Bros. film of The Yiddish Policeman's Union literally plays in my head like something that should exist in the real world.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:31 AM on February 19, 2018 [8 favorites]


Excellent suggestions! Nthng the Prydain Chronicles, Susan Cooper's Dark is Rising, Alan Garner's work. Preferable as TV series.

I'd love to see the Mythago Woods cycle of books made into a TV series. I've always thought Thomas Disch's Genocides would make a great movie. Get a young director, cast mostly young up and comers. But it has to maintain it's absolutely bleak ending.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:12 AM on February 19, 2018


I was about to suggest Lovecraft Country, but when I googled it to get an Amazon link, I found this and got unreasonably excited. There is literally no one in Hollywood who could do more justice to that book.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:41 AM on February 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


Joe Haldeman's "The Forever War."

Harry Harrison's terrible/wonderful "Stainless Steel Rat" books (might need to be animated?).

Jerome K. Jerome's "Three Men in a Boat"" and "Three Men on the Bummel," with Ron Howard doing the voiceover/narration.

Baz Luhrman's production of Richard Brinsley Sheridan's "The Rivals" would be stuffed with stars (e.g., I can already hear Meryl Streep's laughter as Mrs. Malaprop), with gorgeous sets & costumes just draped in color, and so be Oscar catnip.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:00 AM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


hurdy gurdy girl beat me to it on Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine and the casting is spot on except, I think, that I'd have a stiller, calmer person for Raymond's mother - Emily Watson with good ageing makeup maybe?

Instead I'll request the movie version of The Lonely Life of Biddy Weir by Lesley Allen.
posted by humph at 9:02 AM on February 19, 2018


I bet HBO could take all those "Game of Thrones" fans and keep them happy with several years of Julian's May's "Pliocene Epoch" novels: plenty of sex and psionics and gore.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:03 AM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


I would love a strange-lady vehicle with Grace Jones, Annie Lennox, and Tilda Swinton.

Omigod - imagine if they had been cast as Mrs. Who, Mrs. Whatsit and Mrs. Which in the Wrinkle in Time movie?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:14 AM on February 19, 2018 [11 favorites]


Espedair Street by Iain Banks. This was the first Banks i ever read, and i must have read it 50 times at least.
I think Mark Hamill would be a great Dan Weir.
posted by 15L06 at 11:39 AM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


It's been so long since I read A Wrinkle in Time that I remember only the very broadest brushstrokes. Seeing the trailers for the movie has made me want to re-read the book, but I fear that refreshing my memory will only cause the movie to suffer in comparison, while leaving my memory of the book in the distant past might make it easier for me to take the movie on its own. Perhaps I'll wait until after I see the movie to re-read the book.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:56 AM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


P.S. I would also go see Elly Vortex's Rachel Carson movie.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:57 AM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Rock Steady: I was about to suggest Lovecraft Country, but when I googled it to get an Amazon link, I found this and got unreasonably excited. There is literally no one in Hollywood who could do more justice to that book.

Speaking of Matt Ruff, I'd love to see an adaptation of his novel The Mirage. I really liked it and its politics have, if anything, gotten more relevant. I don't want to say too much about it, but it starts out in a world where the United Arab States has invaded and occupied the Christian States of America. It's very much a response to the Iraq War, but it goes beyond that.
posted by Kattullus at 1:28 PM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


sammyo: "Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser

HBO will desperately need a show of this style post GoT and the stories would probably work better as an omnibus series than a full film. It would certainly need a serious production budget. Perhaps Dolph Ludngren and Neil Patrick Harris.
"

The tone of the Swords books is totally wrong for a GoT type adaptation. They're generally pretty goofy; I see them almost like a comedy duo like Abbott and Costello or Laurel and Hardy.
posted by octothorpe at 2:26 PM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Am I the last clown in the room to think that A Confederacy of Dunces would have been a FANTASTIC Coen Bros. film? They do regional vernacular so well.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:50 PM on February 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


The Pander Bros. comic “Grendel” — in all its 1989s glory — would be cool to see as a moving picture.
posted by wenestvedt at 3:47 PM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


I would love a strange-lady vehicle with Grace Jones, Annie Lennox, and Tilda Swinton.

Omigod - imagine if they had been cast as Mrs. Who, Mrs. Whatsit and Mrs. Which in the Wrinkle in Time movie?


Then I would be camped out even now. If there were a role for Catherine Keener as well, I would have no objections.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:01 PM on February 19, 2018 [4 favorites]


HBO will desperately need a show of this style post GoT and the stories would probably work better as an omnibus series than a full film. It would certainly need a serious production budget. Perhaps Dolph Ludngren and Neil Patrick Harris."

The tone of the Swords books is totally wrong for a GoT type adaptation. They're generally pretty goofy; I see them almost like a comedy duo like Abbott and Costello or Laurel and Hardy.


JACK VANCE LYONESSE
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:02 PM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


fluttering helfire beat me to The Westing Game, and Raskin's equally delightful The Mysterious Disappearance of Leon (I Mean Noel) really should be animated get a weird Wed Anderson treatment.

But Replay. They optioned it for a movie with Ben Affleck, but it came to nothing. I read it the year it came out, and have wanted to see it as a movie since the late 80s.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 8:56 PM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


World War Z, as a miniseries

Use the framing device: documentary, Mads Mikkelsen to play Redeker. Cameos a-go-go and have fun with it. Differentiate between (horror) actual cam footage and (schlocky) reconstructions.
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 9:01 PM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Aronofsky's House of Leaves
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 9:06 PM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


Yeah, Replay! I'd love to see that.
posted by h00py at 3:39 AM on February 20, 2018


I still want my goddamn Logan's Run remake, the one that was supposed to happen 10 years ago, and follow the book.

I've come to a point where I think it's probably for the best that The Secret History never happened, though.
posted by thelonius at 6:12 AM on February 20, 2018


I've come to a point where I think it's probably for the best that The Secret History never happened, though.

Now that Philip Seymour Hoffman can't play Bunny, yes.
posted by JanetLand at 6:38 AM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


Horrid gambling scene excised, I'd love to see Tim Powers' Declare done as a staid spy thriller with occasional cosmic horror done mostly offscreen.

Basically I'd do it as Smiley's People but with a mythology.
posted by gauche at 6:38 AM on February 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


The Peter Grant series would make great movies or TV series.
I would love to see a TV series and hate for them to be movies. Well, of course I would still fangirl all over them, but movies always end up too compressed for such rich and detailed stories. I am really enjoying both The Magicians and Outlander partly because of the slower pace that allows them to include more of the details from the stories. It also allows them room and time to rework parts of the books in satisfying ways. These series are beyond perfect, but they are satisfying to me.

Most of my TV show wishlist is YA fantasy:
Artemis Fowl
Skullduggery Pleasant
The Thief (Megan Whalen Turner)
Septimus Heap
Charlie Bone

But I would also like:
Tuesday Next
Flavia de Luce
Greenlanders
posted by soelo at 8:05 AM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


If I can ask for a television series instead, I'd love a good Justified or Luther-esque version of the Denny O'Neil late 80s run on The Question. A driven, emotionally damaged, reporter balancing his life with his faceless vigilante side-gig. Hell, speaking of Justified, I'd take Timothy Olyphant as Vic Sage in a second. Or Idris Elba, but I'd cast him in pretty much any role.

Just keep it far away from those CW Arrow-verse shows.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 8:09 AM on February 20, 2018


fluttering hellfire : The Westing Game actually was made into a movie in the 1990s. It was released under the title Get A Clue, and the cast includes Sally Kirkland, Ray Walston, Shane West and Diane Ladd.

If you are an Ellen Raskin fan, you should never, ever attempt to watch it.
posted by roger ackroyd at 8:18 AM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


Dhalgren by Delany. Directed by Guillermo del Toro. Make it so.
posted by Splunge at 8:41 AM on February 20, 2018 [3 favorites]


Dhalgren by Delany. Directed by Guillermo del Toro. Make it so.

Wouldn't be surprised if del Toro announced he was doing that at all. I'd be surprised if he actually did it though, as announcing things is something he does at a far greater rate than making things.

YEAH I SAID IT.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:57 AM on February 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


Riverworld by Phillip Jose Farmer deserves top-shelf producers and an Altered Carbon-level budget, not another Canada-shot cheapie for SyFy. That one would be fun as they could hew close to the books for the first few, then branch out and do whatever later.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:01 AM on February 20, 2018 [3 favorites]




The ideal cast for an I, Clavdivs remake.
posted by clavdivs at 12:52 PM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


So many brilliant suggestions above so I've been mostly going "me too!" in this thread. That said, I'd love to see Rats & Gargoyles by Mary Gentle made into a movie (or better, a series) but I can't help thinking that's going to be hard to film and pretty much impossible to do well.
posted by ninazer0 at 12:54 PM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


Wouldn't be surprised if del Toro announced he was doing that at all. I'd be surprised if he actually did it though, as announcing things is something he does at a far greater rate than making things.

In my part of the multiverse he makes it. Maybe it goes over budget by 150%. But he makes it. A three parter. And it is GLORIOUS!
posted by Splunge at 1:23 PM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


So now we have to get star power. Cast the following:

Kid/Kidd:

Tak Loufer:

Lanya:

Roger:

Various Scorpions:

Etc:
posted by Splunge at 1:26 PM on February 20, 2018


I badly want a film version of I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp with Oscar Isaac as Richard Hell. If you follow me on social media, you may have heard me say this a few thousand times.
posted by pxe2000 at 2:51 PM on February 20, 2018


P.C. Hodgell's "God Stalk" and sequels, done with the humor and vulnerability and found family ensembles that GoT lacks.

I've been waiting longer for P.C. Hogell to finish her series than George R.R. Martin to finish his series.
posted by jointhedance at 5:39 PM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


nthing Susan Cooper!
Also, Life of Pi that stuck to the book. They can keep the sfx team, though.
posted by lkc at 6:45 PM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


I would love a Lies of Locke Lamora adaptation. Fantasy Venice is my jam.

I think a Lovecraft and Carter adaptation might be fun. Ruth Negga would do an amazing job as Lovecraft, and it wouldn't even require much in the way of effects.

On the comics front, I still wish they'd done Gotham Central instead of that terrible Gotham show, and an animated version of Nextwave would be amazing.
posted by tautological at 9:51 PM on February 20, 2018


I think that James Cameron could make Larry Niven's "Integral Trees" into a movie pretty handily, and might improve on the original story at the same time. Here's the cover art, to give you an idea.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:02 AM on February 21, 2018


You'll have to wait until Cameron is done with his 17 Avatar sequels first.
posted by octothorpe at 6:19 AM on February 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


Not sure whether to put this in the Culture thread or the book adaptation thread, but here we go:
Amazon to adapt Consider Phlebas.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:31 AM on February 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


Amazon to adapt Consider Phlebas.

I'm not sold on the idea, but I'm glad it's you posting this.
posted by zamboni at 8:23 AM on February 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


Susan Cooper's Dark is Rising
This was a movie in 2007, but it suffered from the typical lack of time to explain a deeper back story. Another series that could do better on television.
posted by soelo at 8:38 AM on February 21, 2018


I'd love to see an adaptation of Melina Marchetta's Saving Francesca. I know there's a version of Looking for Alibrandi out there, but it's not my favorite of hers. Finnikin of the Rock also might work -- it's definitely epic enough.
posted by PearlRose at 8:59 AM on February 21, 2018


As much as I love the 80s miniseries--and I do love it--I want them to remake The Martian Chronicles.

I think I could really sink into the couch with a multi-season Amber show.

And come on--The Eternal Champion. It's practically Doctor Who already. Come for the Corum season... mope through the Elric season... stay for the Jerry Cornelius season.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:58 PM on February 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


Well, you might get your wish on Amber if it gets out of development hell, although who knows if AMC or Amazon would get it if it does. The company supposedly working on it flipped over to Amazon. (I suspect AMC would do a better job, and I also suspect Amazon more or less blew their fantasy budget already.)
posted by tautological at 11:19 PM on February 21, 2018


I've always thought Audrey Niffenegger's Her Fearful Symmetry would make a great film. It's not a terrific book but just the atmosphere of it would be stupendous, if it was shot well.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 9:47 AM on February 22, 2018


Well, here we go: Archer's Goon was indeed made into a tv show and bits of it are on youtube.
posted by glasseyes at 6:26 PM on February 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


Speaking of things watched on the screen (albeit small), that's another Friday night, and another episode of Rebecka Martinsson. It's taken six so far for Rebecka and the hunky man with the dog from Norbotten to get it on, thus further endangering her relationship with the rich but dullest man possible from Stockholm. But the only things damaged so far appear to be the crockery in the kitchen during their spontaneous moment, so there's that. Despite various escapades and danger, the Nordic cable-knitted sweater she is always wearing never gets out of place.

My near-addiction to all things Nordic - not just Scandi Noir - continues. Walter Presents, the package of non-English series that appear across the Channel Four family of TV channels and online, has been the main provider of these over the last few years. And, like a previous Swedish show (the somewhat ahead of its time Blue Eyes), there's rather more violence to flinch at and occasionally suspect subtitling to deal with than with your average non-Nordic crime show.

But unlike Blue Eyes, this one is mainly set in the north of Sweden, the area made well known outside of the Nordic lands by the book Popular Music from Vittula (don't translate that)(you did? I warned you). So we get lots of panoramic landscapes of the forests and lakes around Kiruna and beyond, and that's mainly what I'm enjoying about it. Rural Sweden looks almost impossibly lovely and a billion trees and open and big country and a thousand shades of blue. And the most interesting character in not just this but most exported Nordic TV is not Rebecka, or her hunky forest man whose name I can't even remember ("grumpy Swedish man with dog"), or even the terminally ill and "I don't care any more" mortician, but Anna Maria Mella, played by Eva Melander. Who is acting everyone else off the screen and, frankly, deserves her own much more high profile series. Think Marge Gunderson from the move Fargo, but with a more sly sense of humour, better acting (yes, Frances McDormand is really good and I hope she wins the Oscar for Three Billboards, but Eva is superb) and in a place with more trees, and that's not far off.

Anyway; just one more episode of Rebecka Martinsson to go. If this was moving towards a happy ending, then her, grumpy/hunky man, and now-orphaned boy who imitates a dog would come together and settle down as a family unit. But it's Scandi/Noir, so they won't. Not sure what to watch after this. There's still a few episodes of Hellfjord (a sort of Norwegian cop version of League of Gentlemen) not viewed, and have not yet watched Thicker Than Water (Swedish), Heartless (Danish), or Eyewitness (Norwegian). Mammon, also Norwegian, comes highly rated so that will inevitably be watched, along with a Danish "brooding" drama, Norskov. Eyewitness, and Acquited (both Norwegian) look promising as well. If any come close to my favorite Scandinavian/Nordic TV so far, which would be the aforementioned Blue Eyes, the Norwegian prepper series Valkyrien, or the first two series of The Bridge (Swedish/Danish), then I'll be happy.

Though, not all Nordic drama has worked for me. Dicte (Danish) was watched for a whole series but it seemed too twee and daytime TV light, while I just felt like the wrong generation to get into Young and Promising (Norwegian). Case (Icelandic) was started but seemed to be relentlessly grim. And my one issue with Walter Presents and Scandinavian (in the wider context) and Nordic TV is... where are the Finnish shows? I don't remember any, and can't see any on the guide. Which is odd, for a country roughly the same population as Norway or Denmark, and many times the population of Iceland (which seems to have a thriving film and TV industry). There seems to be plenty of good movies made in Finland - the epic Frozen Land (2005), which has the best murder-by-hoover scene in any film, is one of my favorites. But where can a person in the UK watch good Finnish shows (and what are they), for free and online - do I need to move to Finland to do this?
posted by Wordshore at 3:48 PM on February 23, 2018 [1 favorite]


It's pie in the sky but I've already cast a little of it: the kushiel series. It's late in the day but Paul Bettany would have been a great Jocelin and simon woods as young Jocelin. I suppose Marena baccarin as Phaedra is almost too obvious. I'd like to play grainne of the dalriada myself! 😁
posted by supermedusa at 7:02 PM on February 23, 2018 [2 favorites]


1984 Sears Wishbook Christmas Catalog
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:13 PM on February 23, 2018 [1 favorite]


Wordshore: do I need to move to Finland to do this?

Netflix has a bunch of Finnish crime dramas, but I haven’t watched any of them so I can’t recommend them personally but they’ve been popular here.
posted by Kattullus at 2:45 AM on February 24, 2018 [2 favorites]


GENTLEMAN BASTARDS PRESTIGE TV SERIES RUN BY VINCE GILLIGAN

PERDIDO STREET STATION FEATURE FILM DIRECTED BY GUILLERMO DEL TORO
posted by Sokka shot first at 8:23 PM on February 25, 2018 [5 favorites]


Nanukthedog: 1984 Sears Wishbook Christmas Catalog

Would you accept the opening scenes of "Pleasantville"?
posted by wenestvedt at 9:56 AM on February 26, 2018 [2 favorites]


GENTLEMAN BASTARDS PRESTIGE TV SERIES RUN BY VINCE GILLIGAN

That first book was so, SO bloody, though. Could they even do that on cable? I mean, the sharks, and beating the beggar children living under the cemetery, and just the whole finale?
posted by wenestvedt at 9:57 AM on February 26, 2018


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