Fucking Fuck X - The Enfuckenating April 13, 2018 7:05 AM   Subscribe

Do not go gentle into that good night

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Here is where you post your cries for justice, your anguish and your fury.

Here is where you share your irritation at the world.

Or share something nice if you want. That would also be nice.

Also, support your fellow MeFite, for as someone wise once said, "Everyone needs a hug."
posted by Sophie1 to MetaFilter-Related at 7:05 AM (187 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

I am going to start this off, because HOLY FUCKING FUCK, BATMAN. On Wednesday, I had to admit a friend to the hospital for being a risk to herself. She had apparently gone off her meds and was completely disoriented, agitated and ready to either kill herself or die by cop. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done to take someone out of a very tense cop situation and drive her to the hospital. There are apparently also no psychiatric beds in all of Los Angeles right now and so she is still, after 40 hours, still in the ER. Fucking fuck. This sucks.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:12 AM on April 13 [35 favorites]


i just want to hit things with a hammer but like. not in a productive way that creates something. only for smashy.
posted by poffin boffin at 7:15 AM on April 13 [36 favorites]


These posters are all over my neighborhood in DC.
posted by exogenous at 7:16 AM on April 13 [23 favorites]


Yeah. Fuck.
posted by jeffamaphone at 7:16 AM on April 13 [1 favorite]


poffin: head over to the city dump and find a bunch of old TVs and shit.
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 7:17 AM on April 13 [2 favorites]


listen we call that staten island now and they're very sensitive about it
posted by poffin boffin at 7:18 AM on April 13 [79 favorites]


partner just learned their contract's not being renewed, and i don't make enough to support us both, and my only steady gig doesn't offer benefits, and both of us have been applying for jobs for several months with zero interviews between us to show for it

i guess this means we'll have plenty of time to take to the streets in protest, though we may not be able to afford rent, so it may be a combination of protest and, like, general living situation
posted by halation at 7:23 AM on April 13 [13 favorites]


This morning was the first bucket brigade to haul burned possessions out of my neighbor whose house burned down's house. A woman loaned me her father's aviator gloves. I was there about 20 minutes because I had to get to work, and by the time I left, the dumpster was 3/4 full. From just the porch. Lots of people showed up and they had a table with drinks and snacks.

This week's goal: clear a path through the house.

Thing to remember: Hire a dumpster and clear a path through your house... BEFORE it catches fire. (Fire department couldn't get through the house. So they just sprayed water at the flames from the outside. Goodbye, beautiful house of beloved neighbor.)

Other thing to remember: Skittering noises in the attic? ACT NOW!
posted by Don Pepino at 7:32 AM on April 13 [10 favorites]


I'm a little fucking sick of the sanctimony about protesting. I'm not taking to the streets and protesting because I have a dog and no contingency plans for her in case I get arrested or hurt. I also don't want to be in a fucking mob.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:11 AM on April 13 [9 favorites]


FMT*: not weird that hed have a lawyer but sort of surprised anyone would take him on as a client.

I'd take him on long enough to advise him to settle the lawsuits against him, roll over on Pence to Mueller, blanket-pardon Hillary and resign. Pro bono! Call me, Donny.

* From Main Thread
posted by snuffleupagus at 8:21 AM on April 13 [2 favorites]


On a lighter note, Google Maps suggests it takes 9 hours to drive from Nashville to Richmond VA. It took JetBlue 12 hours yesterday to get me home yesterday, last night, and this morning. It turns out having a plane at the gate is not enough, you also need pilots to fly the plane. This was apparently somewhat of a surprise to JetBlue.
posted by COD at 8:24 AM on April 13 [14 favorites]


oh good it's cri de coeur time I got one

I want to fucking know how everything got taken over by people who are actively evil and stupid, instead of people who have legitimate policy differences. It's like, it's not that they want to run the government differently than I'd prefer; they want to burn it all down and loot the corpse. They champion idiocy, deride expertise, and applaud nonsense as "plain talk". And seemingly the only thing stopping them is their own hamfisted idiocy.

It's so extreme that I question sometimes whether I'm being suckered -- the bad guys are such cartoonishly, exaggeratedly bad bad guys that it just doesn't even seem plausible. I saw somebody a while back describing their brainwashed-by-Fox-News grandpa shouting at the TV about their bizarre disconnected-from-reality conspiracy theories and I thought to myself "is that me? Is the only difference between me and Fox News Grandpa my choice of news outlets?" I mean it feels to me like I'm doing the research and eliminating the unsupported but what's left is so, so... it's so dumb I can hardly believe it's real. It's so dumb, everyone. Tide-pod-eating flat earther levels of dumb. How did we all get so dumb
posted by ook at 8:29 AM on April 13 [71 favorites]


My greatest fear right after Election Day was that this would all become the “new normal”. And now, when I hear about the latest twitter rant or firing or ludicrous appointment or just general tantrum from the leader of the free world, I am embarrassed to admit that my initial reaction is simply “What happened now?”
And that truly scares the fuck out of me.
posted by bookmammal at 9:06 AM on April 13 [26 favorites]


my friend lost her court case against terfs today

edit: i removed the link because i hate the telegraph
posted by yaymukund at 9:09 AM on April 13 [6 favorites]


I have two dogs who are incredibly special to me. One of them took sick in January and we've been baffling specialist veterinarians since then. The crisis appears to have passed and she no longer looks like she wishes she were dead but we're left with a perplexing situation:

She obviously has masticatory myositis, with extreme wasting of the muscles in her head and jaw. She tested negative for masticatory myositis titer.

She has significant muscle wasting in the rest of her body that predates her prednisone prescription. She tested negative for myasthenia gravis titer.

She has a large heart (physiologically) and was sent for an emergency EKG ("She may be dying. Go now.") that returned completely normal results.

She lost 20% of her body weight despite eating 4x her usual diet. We doubled her kibble and added two meals a day of canned food.

She has infiltrates that look like spider webs in her lungs. She tested negative for blastomycosis, histoplasmosis and toxoplasmosis. The process in her lungs could be nearly anything, including carcinoma. It's probably not fungal, though, or it would have gone crazy while she was on huge doses of steroids. The only way to be sure is with a biopsy, which is very invasive.

Whatever disease process(es) is/are at work, the crisis appears to have passed. She's slowly regaining weight, she's less fatigued and doesn't look abjectly miserable anymore. We're monitoring her with regular assessment by an Internal Medicine specialist and monthly lung x-rays.

I've boasted about this dog on MetaFilter before. She's a retired bear hunting dog who now works with special-needs children and kids in the family court (foster, adoption, abuse and neglect cases) as a therapy dog. I don't know if she will ever be healthy enough to resume her work, and she loves kids so much and it breaks my heart.
posted by workerant at 9:10 AM on April 13 [19 favorites]


I almost took a complete mental health day today b/c I've just been feeling like garbage, but I decided that it'd be better to be social and around some humans instead of alone and sleeping in bed.

I'm wearing all blue today, shades of blue, b/c that's the mood I'm in. Fuck it. I need spring to sprung, it's still cold and shitty and grey and it's killing my brain.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
posted by Fizz at 9:20 AM on April 13 [4 favorites]


Last month, I carefully explained the whole golden showers in Russia thing to my sweet septuagenarian mother, not knowing that if I'd waited just three mere weeks it'd be front page news on major news outlets and I could have spared myself an especially awkward twelve minutes.
posted by mochapickle at 9:32 AM on April 13 [32 favorites]


I'm so low-level constantly stressed out over the entire governmental shitshow, I can barely function. Every time I get a NYT push alert, my heart goes into my throat. (Things I am not a fan of right now: NYT's use of their push alerts to let me know they've published stories that are going to be in the Sunday edition I get delivered anyway. Like, can you not give me a heart attack over the goddamn Style section?)

This week posters appeared in my neighborhood alerting us to... Fucking Nazis! Local antifa doing yeoman's work here and hipping us to the presence of the leader of a New Jersey white supremacist gang (and also apparently the frontman of a white supremacist hardcore band) in our environs. The first poster my husband saw, this dude or his allied shitweasles had already covered over the picture with a sticker of cartoon Hitler. Instead of just ripping it down, hubs notes, because putting the sticker on it conveys "Damn right we're here", while ripping it down would be trying to hide their presence. So, that's a thing that is happening in my quiet, racially integrated residential neighborhood in the year 2018.

Meanwhile I just found out last night that a neighbor two doors down passed away suddenly last week. He was younger than us, and is survived by his 3-year-old son and wife. My kid plays with their kid all the time, we're a pretty tight-knit block relative to what's standard these days. I am trying to figure out what the best ways to offer her help are. I keep thinking about it. He died from a perfectly normal sickness that took a turn for the serious. One day there, the next day not. I mean, fuck.
posted by soren_lorensen at 9:35 AM on April 13 [19 favorites]


More dog pics
posted by fluttering hellfire at 9:44 AM on April 13 [3 favorites]


I’m scared
posted by angrycat at 9:51 AM on April 13 [21 favorites]


I grew up jewish, surrounded by a generation of teachers and grandparents who had personal experience in the holocaust.

I'm not really in that world any more, but my mind was shaped by those people.

And for the past few months, there's been a part of my brain screaming "run! This is it! This is the thing that you had to be prepared for! Run, or fight and die! There is no safety but luck, if you stay!"

And it's getting so hard not to listen. I find myself wondering which countries will be safe, when the Thing happens.

Fuck.
posted by bluemilker at 9:56 AM on April 13 [34 favorites]


soren_lorensen—I am right there with you about those NYT push alerts. Every time.
posted by bookmammal at 10:05 AM on April 13


I'm a weird recluse in a remote shack with little non-electronic connection to the outside world and while I know that in normal civilizational circumstances this is not a healthy state of being, every single day all external indicators tell me "nah, just stay there and hang out with your animals and produce more food and watch out for signs that you have to flee the country before a van comes for you." And while I would prefer to try and live a normal life, I'm feeling more and more like being what I used to consider a normal American is a dangerous thing to be, both for one's self and others.

Fellow holocaust-steeped Jew here, bluemilker. It's happening again, or at least something close enough to rhyme, but there are tens of millions of people in the USA who will be in direct danger before Jews are as a group. It's our responsibility, for now, to do what we can to protect them before the tide approaches us.
posted by Rust Moranis at 10:07 AM on April 13 [26 favorites]


The megathread is a dumpster fire of speculation and I'm-more-protester-than-you derails. Rein it the fuck in.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 10:08 AM on April 13 [13 favorites]


OMG Sophie1 that sounds terrifying. Don't forget to look after yourself.

I have to gather my brainwaves for my contribution to the enfuckening thread, but wanted to say I was thinking of you Sophie1. And thanks for the new WTF thread.
posted by yoga at 10:10 AM on April 13 [3 favorites]


I hear you Rust Moranis. And I absolutely agree — it's not going to be the Jews in danger first, this time. It's just that Jews have the right(?) sort of ancestral memory for this situation.

But you're right — we have a responsibility to protect those who are currently in the line of fire. Our country is already rounding people up without due process, already sanctioning the murder of undesirable populations by armed state actors, already doing everything it can to strip rights and recognition from marginalized populations.

This is the source of the conflict that wears me out every day — it's this constant battle against the ingrained wisdom of a generation of people who survived the worst case. It's almost like I'm fighting an animal instinct.

But it's good to hear from others who are feeling the same.
posted by bluemilker at 10:15 AM on April 13 [11 favorites]


Speaking of, where is that all-mod thread where we can go plink carefully-tapped-out-on-a-mobile-device-for-ten-minutes comments for, well, we don't have to have a reason? I think they call it Qwantsar House or something? This unintended transgressing of the unwritten lawr can be less than great. At least we know now not to say anything bad about Facebook, so that's cleared up. Um . . Oh yeah and fucking fuck fuck. Fuck. What the fuck. For fuck's sake.
posted by petebest at 10:17 AM on April 13


More dog pics
posted by fluttering hellfire


*Salutes snappily*

Maeby is srs dog sometimes. Sometimes, not so much. She likes to cuddle with her friends, but not with her sister-dog. Kenda is a smartass terrier mutt who's up for adventure anytime.
posted by workerant at 10:19 AM on April 13 [22 favorites]


But you're right — we have a responsibility to protect those who are currently in the line of fire. Our country is already rounding people up without due process, already sanctioning the murder of undesirable populations by armed state actors, already doing everything it can to strip rights and recognition from marginalized populations.

I've brought up briefly with my husband about at what point we actually leave the country and where we would go but we also agree that we have a responsibility to stay and protect people who are vulnerable. How can we live with ourselves if all the people with the ability to fight leave the people under attack to face this alone? We agree with what you're saying very strongly.

If it's relevant we are Christians and not Jewish but I was deeply affected by learning about the Holocaust in fifth grade and also the Civil Rights movement. I told myself, pretty smugly, that if I'd been there I would have done something, and I assumed it would never come up, and now here we are and I am doing what I can. It makes me wonder what about all these people who don't care? Is it a failure of education, that they didn't learn about atrocities, or empathy, that they don't have any interest in doing the right thing, or a failure of imagination, that they aren't able to see that these horrible things are really happening now? I know it's a combination of all three and varies from person to person but I'm sick of being made to feel crazy for being scared.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:26 AM on April 13 [19 favorites]


I got laid off six months ago and haven't had a single offer despite applying for multiple jobs every week. My best chance seems to have been an interview process I went through a month before the layoff, so these six months are really starting to wear me down.
posted by fedward at 10:26 AM on April 13 [13 favorites]


Is it a failure of education, that they didn't learn about atrocities, or empathy, that they don't have any interest in doing the right thing, or a failure of imagination, that they aren't able to see that these horrible things are really happening now?

tbh i think the primary reason is that it directly benefits them in some way (or that they believe it does) and they like that a lot.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:37 AM on April 13 [2 favorites]


I'm sorry, fedward.

I went through a similar thing in 2016, and it was a huge drain on my psyche, and my relationships.

I don't know if it will help at all to know this, but I eventually found a job better than the one I had had before. It took a long time, but it was worth it.

My good wishes are with you.
posted by bluemilker at 10:38 AM on April 13 [3 favorites]


I don't think being Christians makes your fears or concerns any less valid, Mrs. Pterodactyl. The only reason I mentioned Judaism was in the context of growing up with personal contacts who had lived through the holocaust, but I think there are still many people who have the imagination and empathy to feel the fear we're feeling.

So I will say it here: you are not crazy. You are reacting rationally to a world that is increasingly chaotic and unpredictable.
posted by bluemilker at 10:41 AM on April 13 [2 favorites]


I told myself, pretty smugly, that if I'd been there I would have done something, and I assumed it would never come up, and now here we are and I am doing what I can. It makes me wonder what about all these people who don't care? Is it a failure of education, that they didn't learn about atrocities, or empathy, that they don't have any interest in doing the right thing, or a failure of imagination, that they aren't able to see that these horrible things are really happening now?

"Ita Straz, a young woman of nineteen, was pulled by Lithuanian policemen to a long pit in the Ponary Forest. She had heard the firing of the guns and now could see the rows of corpses. 'This is the end,' she thought. 'And what have I seen of life?' She stood with others naked at the edge of the trench as the bullets flew past her head and body. She fell straight backward, not feigning death, simply from fright. She remained motionless as one body after another fell on top of her. When the pit was full, someone walked on top of the final layer of corpses, firing downward into the heap. A bullet passed through Ita's hand, but she made no sound. Earth was thrown over the pit. She waited for as long as she could, and then pushed her way through the bodies and dug through the soil. Without clothing, covered only in mud and in the blood of herself and others, she sought help. She visited one cottage and was turned away, and then a second, and then a third. In the fourth cottage she found help, and she survived.

Who lives in the fourth cottage? Who acts without the support of normals or institutions, representing no government, no army, no church? What happens when the encounters in grey, of Jews needing help contacting people with some connection to an institution, give way to simple meetings of strangers, encounters in black? Most Jews most of the time were turned away, and died. When the outside world offered threats but no promises, the few people who acted to rescue Jews often did so because they could imagine how their own lives might be different. The risk to self was compensated by a vision of love, of marriage, of children, of enduring the war into peace and into some more tranquil future."

- Tim Snyder, Black Earth.

Most people live in the first three cottages. Your job is to live in the fourth.
posted by Rust Moranis at 10:42 AM on April 13 [85 favorites]


It feels like my hobbies aren't even an escape from reality anymore. Gamergate never really went away, it just moved onto other hobbies. Some asshats decided that they'd make Magicgate a thing, and it's really sapped my already waning desire to play the game.

The game is still a good game, the friends I've made are still great people, but I just kind of can't muster the will to stay engaged in the community anymore, and I don't really do "casual hobbies."

So my primary hobby of the past decade? I've basically decided to sell out entirely, and haven't done it yet because I just can't muster the energy to decide to deal with "Magic people."

How the fuck are these alt-right fucks able to just slide into communities, and why do people seem to think "free speech" is more important than "a kind, functioning community"?
posted by explosion at 10:46 AM on April 13 [7 favorites]


These posters are all over my neighborhood in DC.

Speaking of things that are all over DC...the mayor's office has started paying for huge bus-side advertisements advising people to narc on each other for SNAP fraud! SNAP fraud, as in, that thing that never happens. And they're telling people to make citizens' reports on it! It is so horrifyingly awful and makes me want to barf every time one of those buses goes past. I hate catastrophizing and try not to ever do it on MeFi, but the outcomes that I imagine here are both pretty catastrophic: 1) people will see the ads and assume it means DC wants people to stop applying for SNAP, so they will not apply for critical benefits for themselves and their children; 2) people will be emboldened to harass other DC citizens in stores for "abusing" SNAP benefits for things that are 100% legitimately covered by SNAP benefits. Ugh I am so upset.
posted by capricorn at 10:49 AM on April 13 [15 favorites]


Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick: head over to the city dump and find a bunch of old TVs and shit.

SAVE THE CRTS! Vintage gamers will thank you!

But srsly, there are clubs for wrecking stuff, in a safe space. Because this is a major thing now.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:50 AM on April 13 [3 favorites]


I am also scared.
posted by crush at 10:51 AM on April 13 [3 favorites]


Good news, capricorn, those SNAP fraud ads are already being pulled.
posted by fedward at 11:02 AM on April 13 [17 favorites]


Also thanks bluemilker.
posted by fedward at 11:03 AM on April 13 [1 favorite]




Also, I think it's perfectly fine for people to talk about strategies of resistance in the Trump thread. If this is, in fact, a community then this is one thing that must be talked about. And, applying a future perspective, mod comments that dampen down discussion of actual action and not just talk are going to age extremely poorly, whatever happens.
posted by Rumple at 11:17 AM on April 13 [5 favorites]


Yay, fedward!!!
posted by capricorn at 11:28 AM on April 13


Also, while we're posting cute pets to offset the FUCKING FUCK, please enjoy my cat.
posted by capricorn at 11:31 AM on April 13 [17 favorites]


Today I discovered Laurie Spiegel. She is frickin' awesome. I wish I had discovered her a long time ago when I was playing with electronics and tape recorders when I was a teenager, but I'm glad that I found her now.
posted by Chairboy at 11:37 AM on April 13 [4 favorites]


Before the moratorium, I was going to post something in the Trump thread about the probability that MoveOn has a few tiers of planned responses. At protests I've been at, against Apartheid, for instance, organizers had lawyers lined up who had agreed to help out people who got arrested. It was a deliberate thing: at this protest, we are going to plop down on the steps of the courthouse, which the police will not like and for which they will arrest you if you don't comply with an order to cut it out. We were encouraged to think about it, not make a decision in the heat of the moment. If the police tell you to move and you move, great: we support that decision. If you decide not to comply and you get arrested, we support that decision, too, and we ask that you think first. Who will feed your dog? Did you leave the crockpot on? Give us your emergency contacts. We will follow along to the jail and have counsel waiting. Etc. So that it would not be a gigantic disorganized free-for-all and so that nobody would get swallowed up and not emerge from jail for months. Exactly so that a. more people could protest at all and b. more people could practice civil disobedience more safely and more often. It's called organizing. It takes strong executive function, not just moral conviction. The former is as important if not more important. Everybody feels strongly; fewer people are able to maintain calm and think clearly.

A big cattle-call first protest might bring out a lot of new and inexperienced or old and rusty people. Best to keep it simple and friendly and emphasize the "civil" part, not the "disobedience" part this early. This is likely to take a lot of people for a long time, so the smartest thing to do is plan for a long haul. That means not exhausting your people, scaring them into staying home, getting them jailed and put out of commission, or getting them hospitalized or killed early in the game.
posted by Don Pepino at 11:55 AM on April 13 [14 favorites]


My personal fucky fuck is that I had a seizure for the first time in a long time. If you've never had one, they fucking suck. If you have them then you know the anxiety of worrying you might have one and the frustration of finally having (another) one. As a lot of things, like driving, solo childcare etc, can be taken away if you're considered 'at risk.' IE having events while medicated.

It's a small thing, lotta people the whole world over have a lot of worse things, but this thing I do not want. 1/5 stars would not visit again.
posted by French Fry at 12:00 PM on April 13 [11 favorites]


Yeah here’s the thing about planning these protests: there won’t be time to plan that well. That worries me greatly
posted by angrycat at 12:03 PM on April 13


from the main thread:

Press Conference from The Notorious S.S.

i can't look. not even through my fingers.
posted by murphy slaw at 12:12 PM on April 13


My fucking fuck is that I am so stressed I can no longer perform my job effectively and I have to find a new one that is low stress and I don’t even know what that means anymore.
posted by corb at 12:20 PM on April 13 [9 favorites]


I don't know how people can just blithely go about work & life like everything is completely normal. I guess shit is going to happen if it's going to and there's not much we can do about it, but damn if I'm not at a constant stress level about WTF are we going to wake up to today/next hour?

Last night I dreamed we had bedbugs. So I was stressed about getting rid of them before we put the house on the market. I told Mrs Yoga when I woke up & she said, "It's a dream.".
posted by yoga at 12:43 PM on April 13 [8 favorites]


you know you can always count on Herbert to capture the mood of the day

also: jazz feet!
posted by supermedusa at 12:46 PM on April 13 [2 favorites]


Be excellent to one another.
posted by 4ster at 12:47 PM on April 13 [5 favorites]


Please enjoy this picture of my jerk cat wearing a Hello Kitty tiara during your next break from screaming into the void.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:47 PM on April 13 [15 favorites]


Magicgate

I've never heard of this but it's sad that it's immediately obvious what it is and so so plausible.

How the fuck are these alt-right fucks able to just slide into communities, and why do people seem to think "free speech" is more important than "a kind, functioning community"?

I think it's because when it comes to hobbies, people just want to do the hobby, then they notice that other people are doing the hobby and they start talking to each other, and the community just happens. But it's not designed. And without some conscious thought about how a community should be formed, it will lack the ground rules necessary to keep the gators out.
posted by Jpfed at 12:55 PM on April 13 [3 favorites]


Hopefully it's not inappropriate to cross post here but b/c people are asking for dog and cat stuff to make the world a bit more easier to deal with. I just posted a live feed of a doggy daycare that our office stumbled across some while back.

welovedogs.online

We actually stumbled across the live feed and its just an ip address. Someone in our office loved it so much they purchased a domain name and then pointed it towards the ip address to make it a bit friendlier to share with others.

It's over on the blue if you're interested in talking about dogs and/or that specific live feed. Feel better friends. I know I could use more puppies and dogs in my life.
posted by Fizz at 1:07 PM on April 13 [5 favorites]


Currently fighting with the kids elementary school for proper IEP accommodations and a functional bullying plan. Amazingly schools council the kid being bullied and teach them how to interact with other kids, but don't teach other kids how to interact, prevent bullying and have compassion. We thought that would be enough... then while driving past the school on Monday, I was like oh, hey - what is that TV crew doing parked in front of their school.

Seems they had a report of potential impropriety by a PE teacher, and put the teacher on leave without informing anyone. ON MARCH 16th... so whoever was the parent after 26 days, contacted the press... The school sent out an email literally 1 minute before the segment aired on the news. Later that evening, the press wandered around and when they knocked on the door, I gave them an interview... because hey - I think the administration has no follow through on communication and policy - and much like not enforcing their bullying policy, I see a lack of notification of the behavior - long past the ability for parents to properly discuss and screen the kids - I see it as problematic.

So... because the news broadcast basically didn't find anyone else to interview and because they didn't give any appropriate context to my - just being a parent of a kid at that school - I've had some interesting conversations with other parents that saw the segment thinking that one of my kids has been allegedly diddled - which, to the best of our knowledge - hasn't happened.

FANTASTIC WEEK. A+ WOULD DO AGAIN. ...HAMBURGER...
posted by Nanukthedog at 1:08 PM on April 13 [18 favorites]


Not that healthcare or disability has ever been great in the US, but as a disabled woman I'm terrified. And I am very privileged. We have enough money. My husband has good insurance I'm on. I have fantastic doctors finally. I'm white.

But still, I just submitted my disability paperwork after leaving my job THREE YEARS ago and I'm terrified. I know I can see a lawyer if (heh when) it gets rejected but my god I still feel like my 200 pages of medical records isn't enough or I'm not sick enough or all that other bullshit.

And it's frustrating to feel like it's all up to this shitty government that doesn't care about sick people. And I fucking hate that I put off submitting all this crap because I know other people "need it more" even though I clearly qualify. And even then instead of being based off what you should be making in a job, it's based off what you made. Which for me is averaged between underpaid internships and an underpaid entry level job because I started getting sick on college.

So I'm both mad at this body for not letting me do the things and I want and mad at the government that it makes it so shitty to try to get help when other countries do it much better.

And also all the other shit. Fuck at the other shit too.
posted by Crystalinne at 1:16 PM on April 13 [10 favorites]


I'm not sure why I did it -- part morbid curiosity, part masochism, part who-knows-what -- but I spent much of last weekend drilling down through the Facebook pages of people I went to high school with. In the 80s. In a small town in Texas. Most of whom still live in the area.

I follow the MF politics superthreads, so I feel like I'm pretty knowledgeable about the large-scale dog-whistling and gaslighting currently coming from visible conservatives. What I wasn't aware of (because I do a good job of keeping it out of my life) was how much hatred every-day conservatives have for liberals, and how vitriolic it is, and how detached from reality their viewpoints are. (Also, that the n-word is alive and well among white folks in the south.) It left me with a really, really gross feeling that's stuck with me for the entire week. It's a bitter, sour knot in my stomach that I can't shake.

From the very beginning, the only way Ive been able to make myself feel any better about the shitty state of current affairs is to pretend it isn't happening. I have a small backyard surrounded by a wooden fence, and when I'm out there I can pretty much convince myself that the rest of the world doesn't exist. There's a mockingbird who hangs out on the telephone pole next door, and he has the adorable, blustery habit of mimicking both the local hawks and the local scrub jays. It just makes me laugh, and I think to myself "Who exactly do you think you're fooling bub?"

That's the highest form of gaslighting I can handle right now. Fucking Fuck.

Also, this keeps happening every time I open the fridge.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:41 PM on April 13 [25 favorites]


So the Republican Multi-County Assembly's at the building next door, outside my office window, and the thought of going out there makes me nervous.

Am I going to be run down on my way home by one of these angry people in suburban assault vehicles? Because I'm not seeing a single normal passenger car in the parking lot. (That is weird enough even my non-biking coworkers have commented on it, without knowing the cause.)

One of the big campaign questions for the upcoming state elections is transportation priorities, and every single Republican candidate so far is all-in on not spending any money, effort, or space on transportation safety for people who aren't in cars. Here's hoping nobody's sufficiently het up about the topic that they'll take it out on me. I just want to get home from work safely.
posted by asperity at 1:44 PM on April 13 [3 favorites]


I will amend my cranky earlier statement, that even though I cannot even with crowds and noise and the STLMPD , I would gladly be someone else's puppy backup person.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 1:45 PM on April 13 [3 favorites]


Also, this keeps happening every time I open the fridge.

That poor cat has been reading the Korea/Syria headlines.
posted by snuffleupagus at 1:47 PM on April 13 [4 favorites]


Rumple: Here's a dog (on a dirty floor).

From that lurvly image, Imgurians informed me that one of the friends/ backup dancers from Rebecca Black's "Friday" video used her internet (in)fame(y) to start That Girl In Pink Foundation, to help people/kids deal with (cyber)bullying and raise funds for various issues.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:58 PM on April 13 [4 favorites]


So I find myself involuntarily unemployed, and not sure why. I man no gross misconduct or missing work. Just showed up 2 weeks ago, did a full day's work and then was called into HR and was let go for not being a good fit ( after 16 months of being there. ) Got a severance and health insurance til the end of the month but really keen to get a new job soon ya know?
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 2:21 PM on April 13 [7 favorites]


I was supposed to have a hip replacement Tuesday. I'd gone through all the FMLA paperwork, home prep, caregiver prep, exercises, giving up my lovely, lovely NSAIDs and other supplements, only to find that my foot wound that had been healing nicely started to get infected on Friday, and I was disqualified from surgery. Rightly so, but major emotional rollercoaster. Now I'm going through a course of antibiotics, the stupid foot is healing well again, but I can't get another surgery date until June. On the good side, it was something of a distraction from the rest of the crapola going on in the world--but I was kind of looking forward to a month off of work (even with the pain).
posted by agatha_magatha at 2:28 PM on April 13 [3 favorites]


Still in an interim position, doing two jobs at once, for 9 months and 13 days at this point.
posted by gingerbeer at 2:42 PM on April 13 [2 favorites]


The news is extra fucking crazy today.
posted by diogenes at 2:58 PM on April 13 [5 favorites]


WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH COHEN HANGING OUT WITH THE SHADY DUDES OUTSIDE AND THE DECORATIVE HANDCUFFS WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN COURT AND THIS DAY HAS BROKEN ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
posted by angrycat at 3:27 PM on April 13 [3 favorites]




I draw a lot of nasty portraits of various evil fuckers; this is not that.
It's a 5 minute sketch I did at work a few weeks back to ameliorate a rainy Monday and it might help here.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 4:06 PM on April 13 [8 favorites]


I have never hated any human so thoroughly, and really didn't even know what unambiguous hate felt like until this fucker emerged.

Anyway, I listened to Cut Copy's Airborne a bunch today. It's a pretty positive song. Fun video too!
posted by Burhanistan at 5:58 PM on April 13 [2 favorites]


I have never hated any human so thoroughly, and really didn't even know what unambiguous hate felt like until this fucker emerged.

I said the same thing to my brother recently. I'm not proud of it, and it doesn't feel good, but I can't make myself feel any other way.
posted by mudpuppie at 5:59 PM on April 13 [6 favorites]


Hi. I have never posted in one of these threads before. But bombing Syria, without congressional authorization, and in the face of Russian threats of retaliation? While still banning Syrian refugees?

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
posted by OnceUponATime at 6:26 PM on April 13 [11 favorites]


For the civilians in fear tonight. For the children, afraid; for the pets, panicking. Please, universe, a little mercy for them.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:52 PM on April 13 [13 favorites]


Phew *wipes face with handkerchief* this shit is getting out of hand.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:52 PM on April 13 [1 favorite]


If you need a nice break from the world as we know it, this twitter thread is it.
posted by Rumple at 7:05 PM on April 13 [22 favorites]


FUCKINGFUCKFUCK, we paused the last episode of "The Looming Tower" to watch the Asshat's announcement that he's starting WWIII. The coincidence is too much sobering for me. I have way too fucking much deja vu about all this. Goddamit.

Apparently Bolton is hitting the ground running at his new job.

Our little human and cat family are all sitting here on the bed and the live broadcast went black, and the BF and I said to each other, "ah shit."

This is all really fucking scary, people.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:31 PM on April 13 [1 favorite]


Fucking John Bolton coming back from the shadow of the Dubya president was bad enough, but now Scooter fucking Libby? Is this fucking real life? Is Donald Rumsfeld going to show up next?

I'm in a public sector union, and we're worried about the Janus case before the Supreme Court. So the union is making plans for the worst case scenario. I feel like people are being realistic, but at the same time our union leaders keep reminding us, "this is just an opening salvo in a national agenda against unionization."
posted by mostly vowels at 7:39 PM on April 13 [3 favorites]


The main thread is fuct.
posted by butterstick at 7:56 PM on April 13 [2 favorites]


Fucking fuck. A friend is luring me out into a windy rainstorm for a late dinner, which should help with this heavy dread I'm feeling. My ex spouse is being foul, I've yelled "oh shit, really?!" about various current events at least five times today, I feel like most media and most of my community unintentionally slipped into the normalizing trap about 45 over the last six months, and I'm allergic to the beautiful tree in my front yard. If any of you have power to make the grieving process more linear, also, please do help with that, because on Tuesday I abruptly fell from "I can handle this competently and may someday be happy" to weeping about paperwork. Divorce is very unpleasant, more so when the world is also on fire. In summary, fuck.
posted by centrifugal at 8:07 PM on April 13 [6 favorites]


When the US sneezes Mexico gets pneumonia.

I spent all week moving heaven and earth to help a young engineer in my team.

They need to fly home to their Muslim majority country, family emergency. They need a transit visa for the US for the 1 hour layover in an American airport.

They got rejected. Apparently Homeland Security thinks Muslim people immigrate to Mexico as a ploy to infiltrate the US and do evil shit. It's not like people would come here for the job opportunities and to escape war.

A flight via the USA is $600. A flight that does not go through the USA is $2,600. This engineer does not have an extra $2,000, they've been sending all their money to their family back home.

We had emergency meetings with HR and the CEO, and we found a way to fly them to their home country for cheap.

But it was too late.

They are still flying home, but the family situation is unfixable now, and I don't think they will be coming back.
posted by Index Librorum Prohibitorum at 8:26 PM on April 13 [33 favorites]


This fucking bullshit tonight is making me want to fucking scream. It touches me personally in a way I don’t want to explain and the few people who know why are messaging me with what they think are words of comfort. They tell me why I “shouldn’t stress” and “don’t worry.” They mean well, I know that.

But they don’t know shit and I can’t say that so I just look like a hysterical woman even though I haven’t said a goddamn fucking word out loud.

So I have to suck it up and let them tell me to “just breathe” or “don’t worry” (okay, but only if you go fuck yourself), which is the most condescending fucking thing to say to someone.

Fuck this shit so hard.
posted by _Mona_ at 8:54 PM on April 13 [8 favorites]


I worked on a private contract arranged by my grad supervisor. It was difficult and not at all related to my field, but I got it done. Client said we'd get paid when they got paid. This week (months and months later) I mentioned to my supervisor that we hadn't been paid and he said, "sure we did. That money's all spent."

My money. $5000. He and I are going to have a very, very intense conversation when he returns from (get this) Paris.

I mean a lot of people have a lot of problems with their supervisors, but how many actually steal money from their students? It's bad enough that he's an exploitative piece of shit. I gotta get out of there, but I'm in my forties and I have no idea what to do. I left my career to go to university and after eight years I feel like I'm no further ahead than when I started.

But I'm not in Syria. I feel worse for not feeling bad about not feeling better... or something.
posted by klanawa at 8:57 PM on April 13 [9 favorites]


another windstorm, rainstorm, freezing cold night and I’m scared because the camper’s unhitched, unanchored and the wind shakes it to the terrifying point. I’m so tired of trying to outwit the weather but it’s just like the political situation: everywhere I turn or try to run to it’s fucked and if I stay still it chases me down anyway. My journey will be ending soon, finishing up with a trip to Baltimore for a close friends memorial service. And then I have to go home, figure out what I’m doing for the rest of my life and adjust to being broke again. I’m frankly dreading all of it.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:05 PM on April 13 [5 favorites]


so much for trying to relax on the fucking weekend. I have never felt as afraid at the state of the world as I do now (I mean, in recent times leading up to now). you can smell instability. but we have to remember that propaganda is a more powerful tool than ever before and we have to resist visceral responses to any mediated stimuli as much as possible, for our own sanity, and for the good of the world too.
posted by sylvanshine at 9:09 PM on April 13 [4 favorites]


Hey so... not to bum everybody out, but on Thursday or Friday next week we're getting our puppy. I have no pics, as it hasn't happened yet. Right now she is referred to as Ms. Brown, but my daughter settled the name as Ivy, after her favorite character in her favorite book series... (technically I believe the full name will be Miss Ivy Bean... but Ivy 'calls' better. She and I have plans to write our annual update letter to Annie Borrows, the author of the book series.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:57 AM on April 14 [13 favorites]


What the world needs: more safe and stable homes for loyal doggos and their people.
posted by notyou at 7:42 AM on April 14 [6 favorites]


Everyone I know is increasingly stressed and anxious because of the news, and it’s having a self-amplifying effect. Everyone is a little less patient, a little more likely to snap at each other, and that makes everyone even more anxious. And without removing the external force driving it all — the massive trash fire that is our daily national experience — there’s no good way to reduce the stress.

For better or worse, I’m good at compartmentalizing, so I at least look calm a lot of the time. So I end up doing a ton of the housekeeping and maintenance and emotional support, both at home and work. And it’s necessary and I’m happy to do it. But I am also just so fucking exhausted. I want to hide for a month away from anyone who needs things. So, you know, everyone.
posted by fencerjimmy at 8:39 AM on April 14 [7 favorites]


That was weird: saysthis mentioned a pitchfork in a post on drug prices, and sure enough, it's the one I bought last month to deal with some ice issues.
posted by ZeusHumms at 9:09 AM on April 14 [2 favorites]


Yesterday the power went out while I was in the windowless interior bathroom at the university where I work. It was pitch black. My very first thought was a moment of panic, followed by "at least the shooter won't be able to see me in here." Of course it turned out to be an electrical glitch but I'm still appalled that that was my initial thought. And it pisses me off that this is how life is now, where we never know what awful news is coming next and the world feels like a dark and dangerous place. Then I remind myself that relatively speaking I am one of the safest, most privileged people on earth and if I feel like this, what must the truly endangered people around the globe feel like?
posted by a fish out of water at 10:12 AM on April 14 [4 favorites]


I joined the reserves. Now here I am; in the middle of the most unimaginablest dustfest ever; a particulate orgy of the finest and most minute powder to ever occur.

Sans drugs and stuph; we've got guns all over.

Food isn't a sci-fi spaceport; but we do have a dozen languages and uniforms.

Oh yeah. This is the Enfuckenating. :)
posted by Afghan Stan at 10:58 AM on April 14 [10 favorites]


Well, oddly, I’m doing fine. After a year and change of the Trumpening, I’ve reached the acceptance part of grieving and I am all out of fucks to give. This is absolutely not the same thing as “everything is going to be ok” it’s just that I’ve come to terms with the idea that America as we know it is over, the human race is in decline, the lives of my children will be worse than my life, and that the arc of history is currently bending towards injustice winning. The struggle has been how to accept these facts without becoming one of Them. How do I hold on to my principles and act on them while sharing a society with Them? My wife and I have been super lucky — we have always been mission driven and have held do-gooder jobs that have involved swimming against the societal current so we’ve had a little practice at this sort of thing. I have to admit neither of us imagined it would get this bad, but there’s a certain amount of “well, it’s always been like this we just need to keep doing what we’re doing harder.” It also clearly helps that we are old enough to have accumulated a small amount of financial freedom and if the holocaust really comes we probably have the means to become successful refugees. I clearly get that these times have created a set of expectations among millennials and younger that are beyond my comprehension.

But there’s been something liberating about the last 18 months. I don’t worry about chasing false hopes like a super majority of this country is going to embrace social democracy, or that my parents will ever not be religious bigots. I’ve always been a fighty self righteous argumentative type of person and I think that was born of this stupid notion that I can create consensus with the Other Side. Lately, with the help of a team of mental health professionals and daily meditation I’ve turned that inward and used it to define better what I do believe in and use that to consciously plan my impact on the world instead of raging at the darkness.

So what does that mean? It means that I go to work with the intention of doing good and feeling satisfied but with the knowledge that I am not being paid to do good, I’m being paid to make money off an incredibly flawed system. I therefore carry my resignation letter with me every day and am prepared to walk away when I feel I’m no longer doing good. Several of my colleagues have already left and most have found other life paths where they feel they are doing good. I’m applying to grad school right now with the sole motivating factor being my desire to smash the system. I can articulate in great detail my logical reasons for why the system needs smashing and all of my application essays, letters of recommendation, and CV amount to “This guy wants to smash the system.” I have no idea if this is going to work, but university professors tend to be a fairly liberal bunch and I have plenty of real world experience and can speak articulately and there’s a non-zero chance someone is going to say, “Let’s give this guy the education and tools he needs to smash the system.”

Here’s the thing. The Other Side has no principles besides power and money. In my opinion, I think that is a formula for personal misery and ignorance and I don’t think They can sustain it if good people are successfully living with love and equality and justice in their hearts. And yes, I am privileged to be not living paycheck to paycheck right now (although I could not go more than a few months without an income) so I have a bit more freedom to think this way than many others. But in these possibly end times as our gods are dying and the institutions we grew up believing in are set on fire, it’s become super clear that the thing to do is to hold on tight to your values and act rationally on them with a heart full of love because there really is nothing else to believe in right now.

Here is my cat.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:45 AM on April 14 [18 favorites]


mudpuppie: What I wasn't aware of ... was how much hatred every-day conservatives have for liberals, and how vitriolic it is, and how detached from reality their viewpoints are. ... It's a bitter, sour knot in my stomach that I can't shake.

This comment really speaks to me. I keep this far from my life, but just a few miles outside Ithaca is the sea of red that makes the odious Tom Reed (R) the congressional representative of our hippy-dippy liberal town, and I do see the occasional Facebook comment bleed-through. It's like a parallel universe they inhabit, and every once in a while, it makes me despair for how we'll ever stitch this divide back up and heal the country after the current emergency is done.

Fuck.
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:21 PM on April 14 [4 favorites]


Last week, my mother was expressing her frustration at how the whole world is ganging up against Donald Trump. "At least give the guy a chance," she exclaimed.

Like, are you fucking kidding me?

We live in Canada. None of us are American citizens. So are you fucking kidding me x 2.
posted by bkpiano at 1:51 PM on April 14 [12 favorites]


My barber started to get pro Doug “the Dealer” Ford this morning while cutting my hair. We're still friends, despite this.

It's settled in for a solid ice storm here in Toronto. I was supposed to visit a friend in Niagara Falls, NY tomorrow as he's up for the Gathering of Friends board game thing, but roads are glass. Dammit.

I also have to do my taxes, which involves going through my HST paperwork. Though we made very little last year, we still have to hire an accountant as ms scruss is from the US and it's complicated.

Good news? After more than a year of downtime for mostly bureaucratic reasons (and a fucking hit on us by the CBC arranged by anti-wind gits, bastards), the wind turbine at ExPlace is running again! Woo!

Also good? After having zero success with a new 3D printer at work (friends don't let friends buy Flashforges), it looks like a 24-hour print job will complete after I worked out how to manually mess with the (proprietary, likely full of GPL vios) slicer software's config files to get it to print a proper model. Yay me!

Sorry for no pet pictures. The ancistrus (and its wonderful frondy snout) is asleep and hiding.
posted by scruss at 2:49 PM on April 14 [3 favorites]


fahhhucq.
posted by clavdivs at 2:59 PM on April 14 [2 favorites]


shit's fucked buddies. on the plus side, i survived 2 days of cycling and walking in the city of quebec which is pretty good. if i don't die driving back during the icestorm tomorrow i'll post some doggo pics of my thicc boi.
posted by LegallyBread at 5:00 PM on April 14 [2 favorites]


I recognize that this is minor in the grand scheme of things, but I got the hiccups on last Friday (the 6th) and I think I might have maybe actually possibly gotten rid of them last night (the 13th). That's a fucking WEEK of fucking hic-goddammit-ups. That was after days of trying all of the drink-peanut-butter-out-of-the-wrong-side-of-a-square-crystal-glass-and-hold-your-breath-while-listening-to-Mozart-and-sacrificing-a-squirrel-with-your-left-toe old spouse's tale methods (though, reader, vomiting due to excessive water intake does do the trick, albeit briefly). It was a goddamn nightmare and now I'm afraid to have anything carbonated or spicy or sneeze or breathe heavily or do anything because if they come back I might just die. Plus, the advice nurse and the urgent clinic PA were all "it might be lung cancer!" or "it might be liver cancer!" Hey now, stressing me out more isn't going to help the situation!

Drink beer and eat spicy tacos in my honour, friends.
posted by sacrifix at 6:43 PM on April 14 [8 favorites]


Who lives in the fourth cottage?

ME. I LIVE IN THE FOURTH FUCKING COTTAGE. COME HERE FIRST.
posted by Annika Cicada at 7:23 PM on April 14 [18 favorites]


^ Holy fucking shit, sacrifix. You win. When I get the hiccups they're deep and loud and painful . I can't imagine doing that for a week.

That said, there's a pressure point behind the ears. Did you try that? ;-)
posted by workerant at 7:26 PM on April 14 [4 favorites]


I absolutely positively hate Lord Voldemort, and have been anxious and depressed for the last year and a half like everyone else I know.

But in a weird way I have found it empowering. I got into a grad program that I wouldn't have thought I was qualified for, and am applying for jobs a few steps above where I am now, and being better about bragging about my accomplishments and being vocal about what I think.

Because you know what? If a total freaking unqualified idiot with clear impulse control issues can be President of the United States, then I, a person who actually has a tiny bit of skill and some real experience, can at least be a somewhat higher level corporate functionary with a little more responsibility.

At least that's what I tell myself on good days.
posted by miyabo at 7:45 PM on April 14 [5 favorites]


ME. I LIVE IN THE FOURTH FUCKING COTTAGE. COME HERE FIRST.

The problem is sometimes it feels like I live in like the 20th cottage and no one will ever arrive because by cottage #15 someone will have turned them in.
posted by corb at 7:56 PM on April 14 [5 favorites]


Stepped on a nail. Said a few words. Yeah, apparently the family and neighbors did not hear the words, because I leaned against the trash barrel on one foot for several minutes, shouting them.
Removed shoe and board and nail *carefully*. Did some doctoring. Probably getting a tetanus shot Monday.
In a seriously-warped world, this is minor. But this is a safe space to relieve the stress.
posted by TrishaU at 10:19 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]


Sacrifix, my grandfather's weeks long hiccups were a symptom of congestive heart failure. Get that checked pronto.
posted by brujita at 11:00 PM on April 14 [2 favorites]


So I've had to officially file for disability accommodation in what is probably an increasingly futile attempt to keep my job. I'm fairly open about my mental health IRL (and that I don't drink anymore, but say it's because of a medication I'm taking, which is also technically true, but not the truth) but I'm not feeling great about HR knowing the details of my mental health. And going back to work happened to coincide with a never ending string of huge, unusual, and random events that each alone would be extremely stressful for a person who doesn't have mental illness. I am proud of how I've been coping, but I've only been able to do so because I haven't been working full time yet, which is what I need the accommodation for or else I'll get fired, because while my boss is supportive and understanding of my various health issues, his new boss is not, so I no longer have the flexibility that was keeping me going before. And of course, since I don't have this in place yet, and I'm out of sick time, I had to go and get myself a virus that the doctor described as both "flu-like" and "meningitis-like" which also caused me to miss a Very Important Training, so who knows if all this even matters?

And that's nothing compared to the pain felt lately by people I love, who have lost loved ones in sudden, unexpected, horrific ways, or who have received devastating news, or, or, or. It's been such a tragic week on a personal level that I'm already numb to world news. There's only so much suffering one can absorb. So that's where I'm at now. The only thing I can feel is the pounding in my head.
posted by Ruki at 11:24 PM on April 14 [4 favorites]


I just found a lump in my armpit. Bonus: I've had constant diarrhea for 3+ months and the doctors are all just shrugging about it. And I'm pretty sure I'm getting dumped any day now by someone I love deeply. Fuck everything so fucking much. Thank you all for being here.
posted by argonauta at 11:47 PM on April 14 [13 favorites]


I just read this whole thread and yeah, everyone needs a hug. Life is so hard. Thank you for the dogs and cats. They help. They are one of the only pure things we have left.

I lost my cat two months ago. She was my favorite part of life, my best friend. Last week my mother told me, in a fit of anger, that she regretted caring about me. I lost my relationship with my brother in a fit of his random violence last year, which was related to the fact that he thinks I'm "a pathetic, bleeding-heart liberal." My department chair refuses to remember my name, and I'm tenure track in a very small department and have been here for three years, so that doesn't bode well. I don't even want tenure anymore; the academy is just another capitalist, money grubbing, thieving institution like everything else. I've been laughed at for my "lofty ideals" of fostering critical thinking in our students (I should just go with the flow and call them customers like many of my colleagues do). What am I even doing here?

We are at war and people are dying.

It feels like the world has gotten increasingly small, and like money or its pursuit have replaced love and knowledge and empathy. I've stopped really eating but I am not losing weight. Nothing matters and I, like so many of us, feel stuck and alone. Fucking fuck.
posted by sockermom at 4:22 AM on April 15 [14 favorites]


I've had two serious breakdowns since my wife lost her job a few weeks ago. The last one was particularly bad, including a bit of self-harm. I'm feeling as unmoored and lost as I ever have right now, and I'm beating myself up about it because I should be focused on her needs and not wallowing-around inside my own effed-up head. Luckily for her, she's an incredibly strong person with a solid foundation and a good head on her shoulders.


*******************
SAVE THE CRTS! Vintage gamers will thank you!

Yup.This!
Just before we relocated from Muncie to Indy last year, we had to rid ourselves of our old, circa, 1980-something 32" Sony WEGA flat-front tube tv (on rotating pedestal!) Exactly like this one. We put it on Craigslist and a couple of Purdue students drove all the way from Lafayette to get it. I asked them why they would drive so far for this old tv, they filled me in on the whole vintage gaming thing. I guess my old Sony was something akin to a holy grail find for them. The tv still had a great picture, too. It made me feel good that it was going to end its days having fun.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:49 AM on April 15 [6 favorites]


My daughter's school community is dealing with the tragic and horrific loss of a 16-year-old young man and it's not only really sad but also rage inducing. I'm not going to post details here but if you really want to know, google "Seven Hills Cincinnati teen died." BUT I AM WARNING YOU NOW that the details are heart breaking and I am so fucking pissed off at my city and I hope people lose their jobs and live in misery for the rest of their lives for what they did.

The visitation is today and I expect the entire school (small as it is) will show up. The funeral is tomorrow and the school is taking the sophomore class and a few other students. The only bright part of all of this is how the school has responded, with counselors and therapy dogs and the recognition that the kids are going to grieve in different ways and giving them the space and support to do so.

And then the fucking bombing of Syria. And fucking Trump. And just fucking everything.
posted by cooker girl at 7:25 AM on April 15 [7 favorites]


DON'T GOOGLE. I can tell you that it was idiotic, totally needless, infuriating, and heartbreaking. That poor, poor kid.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:03 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.


That is all.
posted by Pendragon at 8:13 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]


Argonauta, are you OK? I just had three lumps (three!) and I spent three terrified days sure I was Patient Zero of a modern wave of the bubonic plague but it was just caused by my new deodorant.
posted by mochapickle at 10:34 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]


RedOrGreen: Ugh, Tom Reed. I grew up in the definitely-not-Ithaca part of his district, and, well, screw that guy. My parents (who are amazing and whom I should really visit more often, yes this means you, evilmomlady) will occasionally tell me about the latest disgusting thing he's said or done, or send me photos after he gives a town-hall meeting within protesting range.

And corb: yep. I've been trying to figure out how to move up to, like, cottage #13 but all the answers I can think of involve things like "putting down roots in the community" and "joining the local gift economy of emotional labor," and I'm just trying to make it through grad school while also transitioning and staying married and feeding the cats and keeping my sanity, and and and ... how does anyone have the energy.
posted by haltingproblemsolved at 11:15 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]


The 6 hour drive back from QC took 11 hours. On the plus side, I have a pupper.
posted by LegallyBread at 4:44 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


I still cannot get the fuck over Laci Green dating Chris Ray Gun
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:05 PM on April 15


I lost my boss on my current job. I don't quite know how to keep on going without him.
posted by dogheart at 8:23 PM on April 15


I mean, I say that, but--

he would know when I needed to talk to him by the sound of my boots on the floor. he kept me going through a serious, serious health crisis, and was ready to fight his superiors for me over it. I don't know that I'll ever have another professional relationship this solid and this clean. I took this job for him, I came all this way to work for this guy, and I've lost him. And losing sucks.

I spent a good ten minutes walking around the office today before I realized what I was doing. I was calling out for him with the sound of my boots. I'm sure we'll keep talking, it's not like he's dead, but this hurts. And scraping together the will to keep going is going to be-- challenging.
posted by dogheart at 8:55 PM on April 15 [5 favorites]


My Uncle who was born in 1930, and was in the hospital a few months ago, in very dire straits, is now back on the golf course.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 11:07 PM on April 15 [5 favorites]


My dad told me about a YouTuber he's been watching lately.

"She's not a White Supremacist, she's a White Nationalist from Canada!"

We discussed this a little, and I think he got the idea once exposed to information outside of the bubble, but I do not want a world where my parents are targeted by cryptofascists.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 7:36 AM on April 16 [5 favorites]


I cut the everloving fuck out of my stupid finger yesterday, it bleeds every time I look at it wrong, and I have to be here for the movers when they get here to receive All Our Earthly Goods. I have no idea if the finger is doctor worthy and my partner (bless him) is stressed the fuck out in his new job. In better news, I flipped off the white house in person Saturday.

Fuck and ow.
posted by Space Kitty at 7:37 AM on April 16 [2 favorites]


I had a motorcycle accident on my way home from work Friday. I walked away from it with little more than some scrapes and a swollen knee, my bike is still rideable, and I got to experience sliding down the road at about ~35mph. And, as a direct result of the accident, I was reminded how terrible some people around me are. So, yay[1]?

[1] No, not yay. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
posted by hanov3r at 10:17 AM on April 16 [4 favorites]


OK so this isn't a "fuck it all" comment, but I didn't want to junk up the main POTUS thread or create an AskMefi for it.

Can someone help me with a very basic issue? I am having a difficult time deciding who to vote for in the Georgia 6th Democratic primary (The former Handel/Ossoff district). All of my searches turn up old articles about that high-profile race last year and there's not a lot that I can find comparing the candidates. I can't find a transcript of a debate either. There are four candidates and I've been to their websites, but they are all pretty doggone similar as far as policy goes.

And more generally, how do people research local and state elections? What about ballot initiatives, constitutional amendments, etc?

(If this questions should go somewhere else, please point me in the right direction! Thanks!)
posted by Fritzle at 8:37 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]


Just make an AskMe post. That's what it's for. You'll get plenty of resources and ways to get involved. I regret not meeting the primary candidates for my district (a controversial one at that) to be able to make a more informed and personal choice.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:01 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]


OK thanks.
posted by Fritzle at 12:26 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]


THE CHEESE TRIANGLES DON'T GO THAT WAY!!!
posted by petebest at 2:44 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]


I have to avoid going to a group meal I would normally LOVE to go to because Certain Folks Who Literally Shun Me are/have to be invited. And I have learned from experience that if I go to a group meal with them, they act like I have cooties, literally go to the opposite end of the table, ignore me, etc. Which is what they do all the time anyway but it's so much more obvious and awkward in a group setting.

This sucks for me and the folks that like me that I won't be seeing, mind you, but unfortunately the others better be made happy or else in my experience, so.... FEH.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:21 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]


Hey folks, I'm doing great. Thanks for the deep read. xo
posted by bright and shiny at 8:37 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]


I'm pissed off that several of my comments were deleted from the Barbara Bush "Rot in Satan's Texas-Style Barbecue" Celebration Thread and MeFite Mixer and I'm really honked off--

--hm?

--oh. Oh, really? It's not?

Oh. Huh.

Whoops. Sorry, everyone. My bad.
posted by tzikeh at 9:02 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]


For those of you looking for another country to escape to, I encourage you to check out Costa Rica. I lived there for a year and it was nice. And you'll be in good company -- there are more Americans per capita in Costa Rica than in any other country other than the United States.

Costa Rica isn't perfect, but disbanding their armed forces in 1947 created an environment that doesn't even have the potential for some of the problems we have here.

No armed forces means no invading/occupying other countries, which means no terroristic response to your foreign policy, which means no need for a fascist police state at home.

Meanwhile, Costa Rica doesn't have any resources worth invading over. The top two industries are microchips and tourism, neither of which can be seized by an invading force because Intel can just move production to one of its other plants and an invasion would scare away the tourists.

It's a Catholic country but Costa Rican Catholicism is pretty laid back. San Jose is pretty gay-friendly. Racism is worse than in the US, but not by a lot.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:29 AM on April 18 [2 favorites]


The megathread has been a clusterfuck of derails about Comey: Good or Bad, and Let's Compare the Presidency to a Childish Comic Book and Armchair Lawyering the SDNY: A Seminar. I'm over it.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 2:12 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]


I just fainted in the middle of a blood draw and they couldn't finish so I have to come back next week and get stuck again. I used to get 15 vials done at once, this was only three and I passed out right as she started the third and the needle slipped out and then she couldn't find aother vein.

This is probably why I never got into heroin.
posted by elsietheeel at 8:35 AM on April 19 [4 favorites]


What the goddamned up-jumping literal Fuck Claus for fuck's sake?!?! Jesus fucking Christ will you fucking get your asshole shit together already!? Fuck!

God DAMN it!

ass.
posted by petebest at 2:47 PM on April 19 [1 favorite]


elsietheeel, I totally feel for you. Should we ever be geosynchronous, preferably with alcohol, I will regale you with the story of That One Time hanov3r Tried To Give Blood.
posted by hanov3r at 3:34 PM on April 19 [2 favorites]


So, the Coachella thread's going well.
posted by petebest at 6:51 PM on April 19 [3 favorites]


and NY Funky Taxi Corp

Please make it stop. Please.
posted by runcibleshaw at 1:52 PM on April 20


Can I also recommend Belize. I took a diving trip there a ways back (I believe there's an AskMeFi about it somewhere) and it's great. Everyone speaks English (it's the official language) and they take US bucks for everything. Plus, it's beautiful and the diving is incredible.
posted by runcibleshaw at 1:54 PM on April 20 [1 favorite]


Wow i did not consent to see a video of Prince dead on the ground and I am legit upset. Fuck you very much google update :\
posted by Space Kitty at 2:36 PM on April 20 [2 favorites]


Most people don't have the means to just fucking fuck off to another country. Fuck that.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:54 PM on April 20 [8 favorites]


Most people don't have the means to just fucking fuck off to another country. Fuck that.

A-fucking-men. I don't think people realize how much this "oh, if you can move, go here!" fucks up those of us who cannot leave. I am the primary caretaker for my elderly father who is basically housebound. What, exactly, are my options? Is Belize or Costa Rica willing to take him too?
posted by mostly vowels at 6:57 PM on April 20 [8 favorites]


Cosigned. Lots of us are in this position caring for loved ones, in poor health themselves, or in good health but without the resources or freedom to just pick up and leave. With an administration stuffed with billionaires and granny starvers, the November 2016 crowning of an ugly new regime felt very much like a death sentence for many of us. Myself very much included.
posted by mochapickle at 7:17 PM on April 20 [9 favorites]


Or a life sentence.
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:32 AM on April 21 [2 favorites]


Again I am so glad my mother is not alive for this shitshow. She kind of predicted it you see. Non -stop talked about this country’s fascist underbelly. I’m not able to consider leaving for financial reasons. Mr. Roquette is a dear man who probably would not survive a full on SHTF situation.
We’ve been to roughly a protest a month. I’ve been active in our local Democratic Party and I feel afraid of him being at protests. I grew up going to protests. I grew up in a left - leaning Democrat household. He grew up as one of those now totally extinct White Lincoln Republicans. He’s ill prepared for all of this. We’ve been forced into a withdrawal from stuff because first I got sick, then he caught what I have and got pneumonia. Both of us have been to the ER.
I am beyond disgusted with how this president gets away with EVERYTHING. Yeah we can protest. In my town I have to give the police credit for not being jerks about our protests. They are obviously not in agreement with us but they haven’t been jerks about it. They’ve just done their jobs. If I am at a protest I make it a point to thank them.
The REAL problem is the Trumpers who think it’s cute to behave badly with cars, reving their engigines, squealing their tires, yelling incoherent shit out the windows .
We had so many chances NOT to have that guy in the White House. The Hamilton Electors thing. The only faithless Elector was from my state. Sadly not a Republican.
I am so fed up with the wait Mueller is putting us through. I’m pissed as Hell with Coney tbh. McConell needs to exit stage right out the nearest 7 story plus window. I don’t dare hope. Spent last week wondering if the creeping crud they could not diagnose would be the end of me.
I can’t forgive my neighbors who voted for this regime. Some of them are poorer than I am andhave more to lose.
Comey saying impeachment was not the answer was of a piece with the shit about re-openingthe investigationof Hillary. It’s cowardice.
Trump needs to be impeached. The Koch bros need to catch what Mr. Roquette and I have had.
All of them need to catch it. I don’t excuse Obama either. He should have bucked McConnell and appealed to the American people.
We lost all hope before we fully knew what was happening and we have no Constitutional remedies for any of it.
Right now all I physically can do is report suspicious profiles to Facebook. Then when they say it doesn’t violate community standards I rip them a new one about theircomplicity and general worthlessness. Mark Suckerberg is another one I’d like to beat with a shoe. And the people at CNN who kept cameras trained on empty podiums waiting for DJT to come shit out of his mouth. Meanwhile others like Hillary or Bernie has something real to say and did not get coverage. Even halfway credible Republicans did not get coverage.
WHT THE FUCK AMERIKA!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 7:32 AM on April 21 [5 favorites]


Right now all I physically can do is report suspicious profiles to Facebook.

I wonder if some sort of union/organised support of open and transparent Facebook alternatives may also be an idea. The software itself is anodyne and easy: it's first the creative and curating community* and then the crowd rushing in that makes them giants. (well also the subsequent locking in and etc.).

Most of them will fail, but it only takes one to do to them what they did to mySpace.


* This digression brought on through finding an old 2007 self-blurb** from Stumbleupon and recalling how when I first signed up it was mostly art-nerds and kinksters, and whilst the latter (now also some of my oldest friends) scared me, it had vibrance up the yeehaw.

** Which I have recycled for my Mefi blurb, and speaking of: "tell everyone when you first started using the internet" makes me wonder. If we are all living in the matrix, is Metafilter the Florida care home of the cyberverse? If so, who are we? Are we The Writers?***

*** Ignore that, I have a great book idea, and thankfully PKD isn't known to sue.
posted by Buntix at 12:21 PM on April 21 [2 favorites]


Holy fucking fuck they fucking arrested the East Area Rapist/Original Night Stalker/Golden State Killer and he was HERE the whole time and he was a fucking COP.
posted by elsietheeel at 10:16 AM on April 25 [4 favorites]


O Lord
I am on deadline
I have four interviews to transcribe
I have thirty pages of stats to absorb
It is for a new editor in a new market
And at a pound a word.
I seek to cleave to the paths of righteousness
For therein lies my rent.


Why do you test me so, o Lord?
Why do you send that man to explode on live TV
Why do your priests and acolytes cluster around the flames?
Why do they toast the marshmallows of consequence
And munch upon the popcorn of presumption?
On which I may not feed, not now, of all times.

O Lord.
posted by Devonian at 7:37 AM on April 26 [7 favorites]


Oh my fucking God. With the world balanced on a knife edge and our allies and adversaries both deeply suspicious of us, the chief diplomat of the United States can't be a former CIA official you fucking dum-dums. Jesus fuck.
posted by ob1quixote at 10:16 AM on April 26 [3 favorites]


I've spent probably the last two days trying to integrate the main system I develop for with a data storage system for some analytics stuff that's too boring to go into. Long story short: it's not an officially supported feature yet, and most of the existing storage systems for this type of problem are some flavor of open source.

The good: open source is great. It's free, and if you're so inclined and skilled, you can fix or refine it.

The bad: NO ONE EVER FUCKING DOCUMENTS ANYTHING. They tell you to oh, just do X, completely omitting steps A through W because they wrote the thing and it all seems too obvious to them to mention. Meanwhile, the rest of us are trial-and-erroring our way into trying to get the goddamned pile of unfamiliar parts to work, and maybe part of the time the stars align enough for it to happen, but most often we're stuck at step Q with the software equivalent of those leftover screws from IKEA furniture, and the furniture is on fire and made out of soap bubbles and exists only in two dimensions neither of which is in the set of three we exist in...

Ugh. I'm so glad it's Friday. I need a drink and two days off.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:09 AM on April 27 [5 favorites]


God fucking dammit, I don't have time for breaking news today I've got relatives visiting from out of town. The next few days going to be a taxing ones, during which I'll have to be on my best behavior despite being in one of my worst moods. And I've got a follow-up dentist's visit after oral surgery first thing Monday. These are the sort of petty complaints that I could once bear with stoic equanimity and even good humor but feel nigh-unbearable in the context of the Trump era (and which seem all the more trivial in the context of the burdens other MeFites are under that they've been sharing here—condolences and sympathies to all).
posted by Doktor Zed at 8:33 AM on April 27 [2 favorites]


They tell you to oh, just do X, completely omitting steps A through W because they wrote the thing and it all seems too obvious to them to mention

True outside of software development, too. And when you do document something exhaustively, nobody wants to read and follow the instructions because there are like 25 points and tl;dr.

(I mean, we shouldn't even have processes that require that many steps for no good reason, but if we do, I'm not going to leave parts out.)
posted by asperity at 9:47 AM on April 27 [1 favorite]


I made the mistake of listening to NPR on the way home today, and was bombarded with: Ha, ha, maybe Trump's wacky, unpredictable style brought about the Korean summit!Conservatives are so tired of feeling insulted by the liberal culture and won't stand for it anymore! [this one was called out in today's potus45 thread] — Interviewer repeatedly hammering on John Brennan for going against precedent to criticize Trump, which might risk playing into Trump's "deep state" narrative! Thanks NPR, for going out of your way to normalize the Trump administration and for restoring my despair that our democracy can be saved. Fuck.
posted by mubba at 6:29 PM on April 27 [4 favorites]


My third grader has been weeping uncontrollably for the last 45 minutes. Today we learned that the director of her school, who is beloved by kids and parents and who has accomplished amazing things with kids who had been struggling to keep up academically, has had his visa renewal application denied. He has to leave the US in short order; he won’t be able to watch the current seniors graduate.

This fucking administration. These absolute fuckers.
posted by nickmark at 9:04 PM on April 27 [14 favorites]


This doesn't really rate compared to other stuff here, but: it is deeply disheartening when you revisit a Trump thread after a break and think "oh, only a few new comments, things must be ok" but it actually turns out that a new thread has been started in your absence and it is full of horror.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:31 AM on April 28 [6 favorites]


Not really a fucking fuck but I don't wanna clutter the main WTF TRUMP thread:

BAKU, Azerbaijan — A building in Azerbaijan that once was intended to be a Trump-branded hotel has caught fire.

Guess we know where Verstappen is staying? *rimshot*
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:35 AM on April 28 [3 favorites]


This doesn't really rate compared to other stuff here, but: it is deeply disheartening when you revisit a Trump thread after a break and think "oh, only a few new comments, things must be ok

I am on an Amtrak on the way back from Chicago and I just checked in with the megathread. Looks like it's going to be an all day sucker of whether Michelle Wolf called Sarah Sanders ugly. Awesome. I wonder why we even bother with these any more.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 9:29 AM on April 29 [3 favorites]


OH HI I'M BACK. Today I discovered that there are apparently two largely similar, but juuuuuust different enough to be mutually incompatible APIs for the kind of analytics I'm trying to get integrated with our main system, and one of the reasons I'm having problems is that I've been mixing the two. The differences, at least from a non-API-developer perspective:

API X: Well-documented, pretty much a standard by now, tons of off-the-shelf commercial and open-source packages giving you all kinds of features like load balancing, automatic chart and graph generation, custom reporting, etc.

API Y: Only kind of documented, no one seems to know if it's standardized all that much, the one official package that deals with it is a reference implementation that's no longer supported, you almost certainly need to Frankenstein together a half-assed home-grown system that you then have to figure out on your own how to query for anything meaningful...

GUESS WHICH API OUR SYSTEM SUPPORTS AND THEN BUY ME AT LEAST FIVE DRINKS.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 9:25 AM on April 30 [3 favorites]


A place to vent? DON'T MIND IF I DO

So, my mom has cancer and it is super aggressive (9/9; G3) and it has spread to 1/3 of the nearby lymph nodes. We're waiting to get imaging results that will tell us whether she will get the heaviest chemo available (i.e., maybe not survivable for a woman of her age) or we just switch to palliative.

The whole diagnosis drama started just when I was supposed to do a deep-dive into research & writing; I have a one-month window between teaching and marking, where I need to get a metric tonne of shit done OR ELSE my tenure / probation review is shot. All of that is now out the window, and I'm frantically making plans to travel back across the Atlantic to do my share of caregiving during the chemo.

I need to make short-term arrangements for a leave of absence, which involves a lot of begging favours from colleagues. Some of them are immeasurably generous & supportive; some of them are heartless. When negotiating with a powerful administrator to get formal support for a leave of absence + extension to my research deadlines, he used the opportunity to get me to agree to take on extra work when I get back—work which I had previously declined because it's the responsibility of a more powerful colleague (who doesn't want to do it).

On the same day that I had that fateful meeting, I found out that I didn't get a job that I had applied for (which would've served as a sort of escape hatch), I co-ran a high-stakes performance event (which went well, but earned me a bath in microaggressions for reasons of workplace-drama), and the toilet in my shitty apartment busted ONCE AGAIN because my landlord is a cheapskate. And the cherry on top of this sloppy shit-sandwich is that I usually serve as the Emotional Support Bear to the people around me, and some folks are not reacting well to me withdrawing this emotional labour.

I don't have the luxury to give zero fucks right now, but I'm more than halfway there.

[insert void-screaming here]

Thanks folks, this helps.
posted by LMGM at 2:05 PM on April 30 [8 favorites]


Oh, LMGM . . . so, so sorry you're going through all of that. Please try to take care of yourself (easier said than done sometimes, I know).
Sending you a hug/hand clasp/arm around the shoulder if you want them.
posted by bookmammal at 2:21 PM on April 30 [5 favorites]


LMGM, I really don't like these powerful administrators in your sphere. I know you're probably not letting yourself think this way and you're right not to because it isn't good for somebody in the thick of it, but I'm not in the thick of it, so I hope for some bad things to happen to them. Specifically, I hope they find themselves afflicted with antiqe powerfuladministrator disorders like gout and late-stage syphilis. And also sticktight fleas, which is a poultry problem, but they should get them. I hope they're profoundly alcoholic and that thing happens to them where their long-suffering children have to confine them howling to their velvet-lined chambers and give them one single sip of wine per hour mixed with a pint of tepid water.
posted by Don Pepino at 7:54 AM on May 1 [2 favorites]


The current fuel for my continuous outrage is just how tawdry all of this feels. It's cheaply done skullduggery by poorly written characters with the intellectual depth of a sandbar. It's not that there are no redeeming qualities for the roles, it's that there are no qualities at all. Gruel feels more substantial than this.

A whirlwind of stupid con-persons are grifting the life out of a dying nation and our only collective hope is that the case against the principal antagonist is so irrefutably comprehensive that it shocks a large plurality of the population out of their tribal blinders. Of course, it need also be easily digestible such that it can be explained in 140 characters or less. And it need be completed before the evil wizards' FUD spells succeed in peeling off enough semi-rational people to make it possible to shut the whole investigation down.

Yet, more than a year into the actual shitstorm, I habitually refresh browser tabs hoping for the moment where sanity breaks through. All the while, lost hours of productivity and tattered morale stare back from the abyss that is Life Under Trump.
posted by Fezboy! at 1:56 PM on May 1 [1 favorite]


I find this therapeutic:

The Wire: S01E04: Old Cases - Bunk and McNulty
posted by mikelieman at 2:52 PM on May 2 [3 favorites]


From the thread a while back:
> As two Koreas shake hands, Hidden Cobra hackers wage espionage campaign

Aw fuck.

COBRA's in on it too now?
posted by ArgentCorvid at 3:03 PM on May 2 [2 favorites]


I didn't see it in the main thread until later, but I wish people who don't know shit about East Asia would stop saying shit like China wants to Hong Kongify Korea. That's wrong. It's fucking wrong.

The term you want to use is Finlandize.
posted by anem0ne at 6:57 PM on May 2 [2 favorites]


I went to an organizing meeting for Beto for Texas last night and it was very heartening how many people were there but... goddess forgive me, THEY WERE ALL SO OLD! I was the 3rd youngest person there and I'm about 40+.

The area (for ALL OF SOUTH TEXAS!) field manager is, maybe, 25 years old.

Beto's campaign certainly has their head on straight: their doing exactly what Obama did in 2008. Get the ground game first, then GOTV.

Any of you who don't believe in Beto, I plan on spending my summer making phone calls. I plan on spending my summer wearing out my shoes going door-to-door. Believe on that.

Just like Beto did to get to the US House of Representatives.

Despair is a sin, and I'm guilty of many sins (mostly the fun ones) but I will not despair.
posted by blessedlyndie at 8:05 PM on May 2 [6 favorites]


Just once, just fucking once, I would like to visit a doctor or pharmacist and NOT see someone get denied health care.
posted by vibrotronica at 10:21 AM on May 3 [3 favorites]


I am changing my psych meds up pretty dramatically right now. It has been a solid week of brain fog and tiredness and guilt for slacking heavily off at my job and inability to focus on jack shit--when my job is 90% cognitive tasks. Before this was two or three weeks of increasingly irrational panic and inability to focus.

I am just. I hate this. I hate this so much. I can't think, and I know it's withdrawal but I've got one taper left to go and I just want to feel on again, instead of tired and gross and wanting to sleep all day. And I can't figure out whether what I'm doing is necessary self-care while I adjust to new meds or just malingering, and it just--

this brain fucking sucks, I would like one that doesn't pull this shit now, please.
posted by sciatrix at 12:13 PM on May 3 [2 favorites]


HINT: it's not malingering. Malingering is malicious and deceitful; you are not. You're doing what you have to do.
posted by Don Pepino at 2:48 PM on May 3 [3 favorites]


sciatrix, I feel you to my bones on that. I was only on antidepressants for a few months, on a relatively low dose, and it took two full weeks to clear the brain fog when I came off (and I still have disrupted sleep that my therapist thinks is related).

I know you're strong and you'll get through this fog, but I know the frustration you're feeling, and that frustration is intensely valid.

*hug*
posted by hanov3r at 3:09 PM on May 3


I'd like to believe that there's a parallel universe as awful as our own, except that their President Trump is also pretending to be his own lawyer.
posted by ZeusHumms at 3:26 PM on May 3 [2 favorites]


My 11 year old dropped a glass bottle of milk, and I just had to go from full sleep to awake and clean it up.

Fuck.
posted by mikelieman at 5:20 AM on May 4


I woke up with a killer sinus headache and the Electric Slide stuck in my head.
posted by elsietheeel at 6:39 AM on May 4 [2 favorites]


I ran over a bunny.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 1:47 AM on May 5 [2 favorites]


It's a new era. Bunnies are disposable.
posted by contraption at 1:54 AM on May 5


I’ve accidentally hit several rabbits on my bikes. They are a damn menace at night in wooded trails. I only felt bad after the first.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:14 AM on May 5


Me.
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:42 PM on May 6 [2 favorites]


It's a new era. Bunnies are disposable.

The bunnies here in lovely leafy suburban Amherst are extra-stooooooopid. So far the score is vallhunds 4, bunnies 0, assuming we count baby bunnies as a full point. I would like to point out at the outset that any bunnies that come into our yard --which at this point must surely smell of PREDATOR WHIZZ and PREDATOR POO quite strongly to a bun-bun -- are already very dumb.

One time I let the dogs into the backyard without checking first and THERE WAS A BUNNY and instead of remembering where it had come into the yard and running out there it decided to run in big circles around the yard over and over again with the dogs figuring out how to work together to catch it. I'm out there in the mud stomping around in my jammies and slipper socks trying to keep the dogs from getting bitten and eventually it goes into the side-yard and there's some screaming and a dead bunny.

Another time some idiot bunny decided to lay its eggs or whatever they do in our yard and the dogs killed the newly-hatched bunnies. Why would you do this? What kind of idiot bunny decides that our yard, which I've already noted has strong evidence of many local predators, is a great place to raise a family?

Anyway, now during Bunny Season (ie Not Winter) I try to remember to do a bunny check before letting the dogs out at night, and if there are bunnies I go out and put ma crocs on and stomp around waving yard implements at them and insulting them at a loud-conversational level. One time a bunny stuck just its head back under the fence and figured that was good enough. More insulting ensued. It's especially galling because I'm sort-of trying to save their stupid little lives. I mean, really I'm just trying to keep them from injuring our dogs in self-defense.

biscotti keeps threatening to take a video of my efforts.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:38 PM on May 6 [6 favorites]


GCU Sweet and Full of Grace, I have the exact opposite of that story.

Growing up, we had a beagle. Possibly one of the sweetest dogs I've ever met, but definitely not the smartest. Beagles, of course, were bred to hunt hare. My parents' house, in suburban southern Maryland, has a staircase in the back yard that leads up to the back door of the garage. One summer, when the dog was probably 4 or 5, a pair of bunnies decided that the area under those stairs would be the perfect place to raise their family.

This was discovered when I let the dog out into the fenced backyard for one of her daily constitutionals. There was a lot of sniffing around the yard, slowly circling to where the stairs are, until the dog got right up to the stair area, and found herself nose-to-nose with the most adorable bunny ever.

........

Without a sound, the dog turned, shot past me into the open back door, up the stairs inside, down the hall, and into my parents' room, where she cowered, howling, under my parents' bed for a good couple of hours before we could calm her down. I'm not sure her paws touched the ground the entire run. It was a good three days before she would willingly go out into the back yard, and a couple of weeks before she'd go near the stairs again.
posted by hanov3r at 11:10 AM on May 7 [4 favorites]


Fuck this Schneiderman business, dude. Fuck people not taking abuse of women seriously unless physical harm is involved, because every woman I know has been power-harmed in emotional and financial ways by shit men over and over IN ADDITION TO ALL THE RAPES AND BEATINGS. Fuck his racism, fuck his posing, and fuck him so fucking hard for pretending he was on my side this whole time. Fuck every human who doesn't realize women are also people, also protagonists, always working harder and mostly smarter. Fuck that guy for finding smart people who were doing important things and attacking them for those specific things. Fuck every bit of that horrible shit. Fuck that dude for being such a shithead that it fucks up my tiny hopes of putting shithead power-thirsty white-collar white men in prison. Fuck the whole legal system that lets this shit happen. Fuck worshiping a bunch of documents from a couple of hundred years ago written by a buncha white men that thought they owned everyone who wasn't a white man. Fuck Eric Schneiderman in particular.

(I remain mad. Thank you for reading.)
posted by lauranesson at 7:17 PM on May 7 [6 favorites]


And jesus, I cannot even imagine what horrors it was to know that some fancy dude slapped/choked the shit out of you and then watch him get an award from a women's organization and have some words about him wanting to kill you bouncing around in your brain. Uggggghhhhhh forever, and please everyone give awards to these super-brave humans who sent pictures and stories to reporters. "I am the law." Ugh. He genuinely was and no one like him should ever be again.
posted by lauranesson at 7:22 PM on May 7 [4 favorites]


No elaboration, no decor, just fucking FUCKITY fuck can we be done with this shit yet.
posted by vverse23 at 8:02 PM on May 7 [1 favorite]


I was just at a work meeting where we all got simultaneous NYT push alerts on our phones about the Iran deal. We wrapped the meeting up with, "Well, no point in planning any of this further, since we're all going to die."
posted by soren_lorensen at 9:28 AM on May 8 [4 favorites]


Inexplicably, this new world is testing my atheism. I'm sitting here praying that we're due some cosmic reprieve in the form of good news. I guess that's all you can do.
posted by Donald Trump Sex Nightmare at 1:03 PM on May 8 [1 favorite]


Funny, I also think this new world is testing my atheism, because I'm increasingly convinced there is a god, but that god is in fact an all-powerful supercomputer in a Harlan Ellison story tormenting us.
posted by Room 101 at 4:40 PM on May 8 [2 favorites]


Lt. Col. Oliver North. That fucker ruined my 6th grade summer by being on TV all the time.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 5:40 PM on May 8 [1 favorite]


Now I'm falling into a wikihole. Hatch and Cheney were in those hearings for committees. Jesus, they're old.

All these fuckers got pardoned?
posted by fluttering hellfire at 6:01 PM on May 8


George H.W. Bush lied his ass off about knowing anything and the best the Democrats could come up with was Michael Dukakis? JFC
posted by fluttering hellfire at 6:04 PM on May 8


You know, when the writer's room pitched the idea of "reboot All the Presidents Men but with a porn star and her lawyer" I was deeply skeptical. But here we are.
posted by nubs at 7:13 PM on May 8 [3 favorites]


My baby owl died.

Ten days ago birds were making a ruckus in my front yard, I looked out to see a handful of crows harassing a barred owl. I've been hearing a pair of owls vocalizing for months but this was the first time I'd seen one of them. I went outside and scared off the crows but the owl stayed put, that's when I noticed this baby owl in the yard.

A friend who does raptor rescue came over and we put it up in a tree for the night. It was a brancher, not quite old enough to fly but able to perch and climb branches. The next day we hiked through the woods looking for where the adults were nesting, hoping we could re-nest the baby. No luck, but there was a fish carcass under its new tree telling us that the parents were feeding it there. So we decided to leave it be, watch and wait. My friend set me up to feed it to improve its chances; for a week I fed it twice daily, chicken scraps or a dead mouse, with a ridiculously improvised contraption made from a cardboard owl mask and a litter pickup grabber duct-taped to a 15 foot pole.

Saturday morning I found it in an adjacent tree. It hadn't gone far and I didn't think it could really fly yet, just a lucky jump and a flap or two would get it there. Later in the day it had climbed higher but was sitting in an exposed spot, and of course, at some point a few hours later the crows found it. When I got home it was on the ground and the crows were divebombing. I scared off the crows and scooped it up and put it back in its first adopted tree. The transformation since I had last handled it was remarkable. In a week it grew from a cute, harmless ball of fluff to looking like something that was dangerous enough to rip my face off.

Sunday morning it had moved again, this time to a new tree on the edge of the yard. Maybe it flew there or maybe it hopped on the ground and climbed that tree, I wasn't sure. Later in the day I spotted it 50 yards further into the woods way up in a tree, maybe 100 feet up, confirming that it really was flying on its own. That was an exciting milestone.

Monday evening I heard it calling but couldn't find it in the canopy. I was able to spot both adults, so I figured they were getting on with normal owl family life.

I hiked down into the woods this evening and found its body on the ground, it looked like the crows finally got it. I was only able to find it because one of the parents was in a nearby tree calling for it.

I'm having a sad night. RIP little owl, you were pretty fucking cool.
posted by peeedro at 8:07 PM on May 8 [11 favorites]


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