Metatalktail Hour: Resolved! December 29, 2018 5:26 PM   Subscribe

Good Saturday evening, MetaFilter! This week, I'm wondering about New Year's resolutions -- do you make them? Do you hate them? Did you succeed at any last year? And also, how do you welcome in the new year?

As always, this is a conversation starter, not limiter, and we want to hear about everything that's up with you! And hit me up with topic ideas for future weeks!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) to MetaFilter-Related at 5:26 PM (148 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

I made a New Years resolution some time ago to make no more New Years resolutions. Thus far, it has been the only one I've actually kept.
posted by ninazer0 at 5:55 PM on December 29, 2018 [15 favorites]

I resolved to graduate from college. Mission accomplished!

I also have resolved to planting potato bags. SOON. Just waiting on my spuds to properly sprout! The garden's been sort of quiet- with bad news and good news. The dill has sprouted in it's pot which is a miracle- dill is tricky to grow, but much more reliable from seed than from a plant (as I found out D'OH) The pea seeds were in fact- dead, so I ordered another packet to plant in the back. Snow peas are a lovely winter treat! Now that I've torn out the shitty infested bells I still have to tear out or prune the other two shitty peppers, while keeping my beautiful mole peppers. I also have A SHIT TON of mowing to do. Time to break out the push mower! The carrot bed is just turning the corner where the plants are going to start putting energy into the roots instead of the bushy tops. It's been a good time in the garden!

I actually put a selfie up on imgur during the traditional selfie time- should probably link that here.
(TW: creepy horse mask)

I joke sometimes about having reverse SAD where it's the summer months that make me depressed. Seeing SF so green and lush now that its raining is just balm for the soul.
Also: This wonderful dog named Trainwreck is up for adoption at rocket dog and I met him last Sunday and he is super well behaved and sweet. I am in no emotional place to own a dog again right now, but if a 9 year old Bully who used to be a therapy animal is your idea of a good dog please check him out- his owner passed and he's a sad boy, but a good one.

All the best to everyone and to all a good new year. May 2019 kick 2018's ass!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 5:56 PM on December 29, 2018 [17 favorites]

I make my resolutions on my birthday because it's my new year.

We go to our friends house, a married couple with two young kids, for a small get together. We do a potluck and play card games and leave at one. When Kid Ruki turned 15, for NYE is also her birthday, we let her play Cards Against Humanity with us. She won, obviously. The mister spent the night rapidly cycling through proudly saying "That's MY kid" and morosely saying "That's my KID." The rest of us welcomed our new teenaged overlord.

I should, uh, probably ask her what her plans are for ol' 17. My car is more hers than mine at this point (she's more punctual than I am so she drops me off at work in the morning and then goes to school, because when it was the opposite, I could never get her to school on time) so I just assumed she'd go out with friends. But she and her friends are notoriously horrible at making plans, so it's quite likely my question will be met with an "Oh shit, I should think of something, huh?" Oh, my little apple didn't fall far.

I'm in constant awe of just how amazing Kid Ruki is. We are so much alike, except it took me 39 years of life experience and countless years of therapy to come close to the qualities that come to her so naturally. Confidence, courage, an unwavering sense of self.

I once told her "The best way to describe you is that you're the scene in a Disney movie when all the woodland creatures flock to the princess." She laughed, crinkled her nose in that way she does when I say something ridiculous but she knows exactly what I mean, and told me I was not wrong.

That reminds me. I need to go print out the paperwork so she can go to freaking college next year instead of her senior year of high school. What a kid, I tell ya.
posted by Ruki at 6:10 PM on December 29, 2018 [36 favorites]

Train Wreck looks great. Someone go get that dog.
posted by bongo_x at 6:18 PM on December 29, 2018 [8 favorites]

I make my resolutions on my birthday because it's my new year.

Me too! I usually resolve to do X thing by next birthday, which is in January so it isn't that far off. This year it was to learn the first Bach cello suite - seems like I ought to get there, although my articulation still leaves a lot to be desired.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:20 PM on December 29, 2018 [2 favorites]

I don't do resolutions. They don't do me any good any way.

I got a survey in the mail from my local state representative today. Things I wanted him to focus on this year. Since he's a progressive Democrat, even though he's an 80 year old white dude, the questions he asked were awesome for a young liberal like me. Asking about a woman's right to choose with the government not to getting in the way. Asking about gun purchasing restrictions. Things you don't ask easily in a conservative state like Kentucky. I left him a comment how I appreciated him and his work.

I'm having a weird week otherwise. Hopefully next week is better.
posted by deezil at 6:22 PM on December 29, 2018 [7 favorites]

I rarely make resolutions because the second I tell anyone about them, my motivation absolutely fails.

But: the year is almost over, so I can tell you 2018's resolution, which was to read the books on a certain bookshelf, in order, exclusively. No moving on to the next book until the current one was done. If I decided to stop reading the book, I had to get rid of the book- no giving it a second/third/fourth chance. In the end, I finished two shelves worth and just started on the third. Totals: 16 books gone or going, 1 book definitely keeping (and in fact it moved to the Bookshelf of Favorites), and 2 I'm undecided on their fate.

Of course, I didn't pair this with a "no buying more books" moratorium, so I now have more books than when I started. But now fewer of them were acquired 10 years ago, and that's some sort of progress.
posted by smangosbubbles at 6:22 PM on December 29, 2018 [16 favorites]

, I finished two shelves worth and just started on the third. Totals: 16 books gone or going, 1 book definitely keeping (and in fact it moved to the Bookshelf of Favorites), and 2 I'm undecided on their fate.

So is that 16 books you chose not to finish? How many books did you finish?
posted by tzikeh at 6:36 PM on December 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

I will turn 50 in 2019. My resolution is to run the Chicago Marathon (October 13, 2019).

In order to do this, I have to start jogging again, which means I have to start *walking* again, which means I have to start eating better, which means I have to meal-plan, which means I have to learn to cook, which means I have to learn how to properly grocery shop for one--and that one doesn't actually like any food that is good for her--which means I have to have some kind of structure to my life....

If anyone has any suggestions for how a 49-year-old woman who is a good 60 pounds over the high end of a healthy weight for her frame (trust me I know because I lived at a healthy weight from age 20-30 until the combo of my psych meds ramping up and my metabolism ramping down did a number on me) as to how to start the whole process, please MeMail!
posted by tzikeh at 6:42 PM on December 29, 2018 [23 favorites]

I don't have NY resolutions anymore so much as I have, "These are the experiences I ( or we) want to have this year! How can I (or we) make that happen?!" and I find that works much much better for getting things done. Also it's much more flexible!
posted by barchan at 6:44 PM on December 29, 2018 [6 favorites]

You can do it, tzikeh! Oh my goodness, look at how much time you have to do all those things, and it's literally just one step at a time. We believe in you!
posted by barchan at 6:48 PM on December 29, 2018 [13 favorites]

We're hosting our third annual New Year's Day Jam and Feeding Frenzy for those of my colleagues and neighbours who still play or eat recreationally.
I'll spend a couple of days cooking -- this year it's pozole verde and assorted sides for 25-30 (could go higher...), half of whom will also make some music.
The beauty part is I set up the food, show the first few eaters what condiments go with what dishes then I retire to my stool and spend the rest of the evening playing. I'm not big on party chat so I let the food and my sax do all the talking. It's perfect for me and everyone else seems to enjoy themselves too.
posted by Jode at 6:51 PM on December 29, 2018 [7 favorites]

I make my resolutions on my birthday because it's my new year.

Ha, well, I have to make resolutions on my birthday because it IS on New Year’s. I think this year, I’ll keep it simple and just endeavor to be kind. I feel that as I get older, I’ve been getting more and more impatient when dealing with others especially at work. I used to be the “polite Canadian”, now I’m on some of our patients’ parents’ hate list. My director sent me a message the other day reminding me about my “special kindness” and to “not lose yourself”. That made me really emotional, for some reason. I blame it on being almost 40 (I kid, I kid.).
posted by theappleonatree at 6:54 PM on December 29, 2018 [8 favorites]

I always make too many resolutions, can’t keep up, miss one day, berate myself for not being perfect, and give up.

I resolve to change that this year.

I just want to get to a place where I’m a good role model for my two kids who are now totally old enough to see what momma is doing in her life.
posted by Night_owl at 6:55 PM on December 29, 2018 [4 favorites]

I don't do resolutions, but I like setting intentions. I was discussing this with a friend and my conclusion was: I'd like to get off my medication for hyperlipidemia, and I'd like to stop getting so stressed out about work. I feel like I'm moving toward the second (I think the promotion I just got will put in me in a position with enough power to fix things, which will hopefully keep me from the pointless rumination I've recently been doing), and I will talk to my doctor about the first and figure out a plan based on what she says. My overall hope for the year is "acceptance." I need to make the changes I can make, but I also need to stop giving myself GI issues due to being upset at stuff I can't change.

Also I had a couple different wonderful Facebook conversations last night, including one centered around the ideas in this Outside post. I started doing the suggested exercise -- WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND! IT IS EASY AND AWESOME! -- and I also had a friend suggest that we should all experience at least one delight every day, so I am planning on starting a "Delight of the Day" journal. Not sure why, but it feels more engaging than a gratitude journal, though it's basically the same thing. So I want to log at least one thing a day that has delighted me.
posted by lazuli at 6:57 PM on December 29, 2018 [15 favorites]

I find the New Year a good time to start new projects, more than a time to make resolutions. (Also September (the back-to-school muscle memory is strong) and the beginning of summer.) Sometimes the projects are resolutiony -- I wanted to read 5,000 words a month in 2015 and make some headway on my "to-read" pile, which is kind-of resolutiony -- but sometimes they're not.

I have two projects in mind for the start of 2019: 1) do more astronomy, b/c I got a new telescope for Christmas; and 2) make the "second edition" of my family cookbook. About 8 or 9 years ago I got tired of chasing down my favorite recipes from several different cookbooks, my e-mail, scrawled recipe cards, printouts, etc., and typed them all up and organized them into a little cookbook. I took the opportunity to get all my favorite family recipes from relatives and include them, and printed it (at lulu) for about $12 (with a coil binding even!) and I was like, "well, heck, I'll print one for everyone, they'll want the family recipes at least!" I mentioned I was going to start working on typing up a new one (my current one being stained and torn from overuse and I figured I'd take the opportunity to add new favorite recipes and remove ones that I never use), and ALL of my relatives gasped, "I NEED A COPY WHEN YOU FINISH." Turns out my "family recipes + everyday favorites" is everyone's most-used cookbook! So now my siblings and in-laws are sending me new recipes they make a lot and want added to the cookbook so they can have all THEIR favorites in one place too. So that's my big project. Unfortunately I can't re-use the file from last time, so there will be a lot of retyping, but I'm trying to look at it as a chance to fix typos and formatting errors, and if I type one or two recipes a night that's a whole lot over time.

Mini McGee is reading intently over my shoulder even though it's past his bedtime. He wants to say, "Beef stroganoff is one of my favorites that mom makes." (It's technically "quick" beef stroganoff which uses ground beef rather than steak strips, and uses cream of mushroom soup as a base to build the sauce off, but it is good and he can almost make it himself.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 7:02 PM on December 29, 2018 [21 favorites]

Lazuli, I knew without looking that was going to be written by Brendan Leonard, whom I just adore for his upbeatness and attitude. If you like his style/way of thinking I highly suggest his blog, Semi-Rad. On Fridays it's the first thing I look at when I wake up because of his "Friday inspiration" posts and his Thursday essays, like his most recent one of making the next year the year of maximum enthusiasm. He always has fun things like that exercise or just generally thought provoking and anti-apathy commentary that is super inspiring and yet somehow without making one feel any kind of pressure, if that makes sense. His blog is always a bright spot in the week for me (and he's also a genuinely good guy.)
posted by barchan at 7:12 PM on December 29, 2018 [6 favorites]

You say you want a resolution
Well, you know
We all want to change ourselves
You tell me there's no evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change our tells
But when you talk about my reduction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Because you know it's gonna be
Alright, alright, alright

You say you got a real intuition
Well, you know
We'd all love to feel the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
I’m doing what I can
But if you want tweets from people with minds that rage
All I can tell is brother is you’re on the wrong page
Don't you know it's gonna be
All right, all right, all right

You say you'll change the indignation
Well, you know
We all want to change the thread
You tell me it's the moderation
Well, you know
Better to edit yourself instead
But if you keep ‘gramming pictures you think cool
History will know forever we were tools

Don't you know it's gonna be
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alt-right, alright
All right, all right
posted by Stanczyk at 7:32 PM on December 29, 2018 [6 favorites]

I don't know if I'm going to do it this year, but in the past I've done three sets of resolutions: easy, harder, and hardest, with the Easy set being, like, a third of stuff I do already. So, since I typically get in 20 miles of walking a week, the Easy list will include something like "walk 3 miles every week", and then I KNOW I'll be able to go, "Yep! Got that done!"

There's something about Easy lists (see also: writing 50 words a day in my journal - seriously, 50 words is NOTHING) that nudges me toward the things I want to do while helping me see that actually, I'm kind of already doing a lot of the things I want to do, so maybe I should notice that and be happy about it.
posted by kristi at 7:36 PM on December 29, 2018 [19 favorites]

Lazuli, I knew without looking that was going to be written by Brendan Leonard, whom I just adore for his upbeatness and attitude. If you like his style/way of thinking I highly suggest his blog, Semi-Rad.

Thank you! A friend had posted both the entry I linked and also that maximum-enthusiasm piece and I loved both of them, and I just followed his blog on Facebook (which is how I follow things now).
posted by lazuli at 7:52 PM on December 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

It's weird but for me, September always seems like the start of the new year. Probably a leftover mindset from my school years. Anyways, that's when I try to change my habits. In January it's freezing out and it's hard to have any real willpower.
posted by KazamaSmokers at 8:05 PM on December 29, 2018 [8 favorites]

Metafilter: I let the food and my sax do all the talking
posted by bongo_x at 8:08 PM on December 29, 2018 [6 favorites]

Birthday resolutions sounds like a good idea, plus it gives me just a little bit longer to gear up.
posted by rhizome at 8:33 PM on December 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

I love resolutions, and I have a very good track record of meeting them!

It's hot as piss in Sydney, and has been for just about a week now. I despise the heat so much, it's just the worst. I'm extra pissed off about it this year because I organised for the aircon in our spare room to be fixed as we have two lots of guests coming over the holiday period. The aircon man came twice - 800 bucks later it's fixed, he says. On Christmas night I fire it up for my 72 year old mother, AND THE DAMNED THING IS ALREADY BROKEN. ARRGGGH. Naturally, the office is closed until after our second lot of guests leave.

For all my resoluphilia, I don't have my usual specificity this year. We have some big changes in the pipeline, and potentially one huge one, but it's all up in the air at the moment and so much is dependent on it. My big one will be not celebrating NY 19/20 in this house - we're knocking it down and building a new one. Almost everything else depends on a few other things.

The only priority I have regardless of everything else is to continue keeping myself in a mentally healthy and strong place; it keeps me happier, and a better father and partner - and it's a little harder than it sounds and made up for many smaller goals, so it's a good thing to pursue for a year.

If I can do that, regardless of what 2019 throws at me, I'll be pretty proud of myself.
posted by smoke at 8:38 PM on December 29, 2018 [3 favorites]

I also love making resolutions, and I always make too many, so this year I have probably a dozen. But, I have two that I am really going to work on: 1) practice saying “no” more - I think I’m overscheduled and over-planned and I hate turning people and things down due to guilt and 2) get back to online dating. I went through another hard breakup a few months ago and I’m finally accepting that a longtime friend is just going to stay a friend, and I’m actually excited! to get back out there. I’m nearing 38, I never thought I would still be single at this age, but also partners I would have picked when I was younger are not partners I would pick now. I think I have a clearer idea of the type of person I’d like to be with. I’m hopeful, which is a good way to start, I think.

I’ve spent the last three New Year’s Eve traveling by myself, and this one is no different - another redeye, heading back home. I like it this way.
posted by umwhat at 8:44 PM on December 29, 2018 [5 favorites]

I gotta start doing those exercises I was assigned to fix my shoulder. I hate exercise....but it really hurts again.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:44 PM on December 29, 2018 [4 favorites]

I finished two shelves worth and just started on the third. Totals: 16 books gone or going, 1 book definitely keeping (and in fact it moved to the Bookshelf of Favorites), and 2 I'm undecided on their fate.

So is that 16 books you chose not to finish? How many books did you finish?

I finished a total of 21 books this year, of which 16 were those gone/going books. I gave up on zero of them, but some took close to two months to soldier through, hence the incredibly low count. Looking back, I should've given up on 6. Of those, two I would gladly set on fire. (It really should also be stated that my main criteria for getting rid of books is based on the question "would I read this again?" If the answer is no, I donate the book.)

Note: I deliberately did not set number goals (I never do, but especially not this year). In the latter half of 2017 there were a lot of books I started, read 30 pages of and was generally enjoying, then got distracted and moved on to something else, or I'd finish a book and couldn't decide what to read next, so I read nothing. The point was more to finish the books I started ("finish it or get rid of it" was actually designed as a punishment to work on the previous year's problem of liking books but abandoning them) and the pre-specified order was so I couldn't spend additional weeks dithering.

(And if anyone is actually doing math: the 2 not previously mentioned were ebooks- one was a cheat book in the middle of one of the slogs, and the other because hello it's Christmas and that means the resolution is over, come to me new baby ereader let's read brain candy.)
posted by smangosbubbles at 8:47 PM on December 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

1. Fresh air.
2. Deep breaths.
3. New friends.
4. Board games.
5. Clear skin.
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:17 PM on December 29, 2018 [7 favorites]

6. Profit!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:26 PM on December 29, 2018 [15 favorites]

I started running once a week with my husband in March of 2018. I am pretty sure I am going to hit 100 miles by the time the anniversary of my first run comes around. this is nothing to people who are Capital R "Runners", but it's a lot to me!
posted by vespabelle at 10:53 PM on December 29, 2018 [11 favorites]

My 2017 new year's resolution was to take up archery. I first took a 2-lesson beginners course that didn't quite work out (during the 2nd lesson I developed a problem with my stsnce that I wasn't able to correct at the time). I then took another beginners course at another archery club, and this one was 10 lessons, and I now have my own recurve bow and still go to the range every week.
posted by rjs at 12:12 AM on December 30, 2018 [11 favorites]

Every year I aim to be more of a chill dude, but I’m kind of the least chill person I know. Multiple people have spontaneously shouted “HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?!” at me as I was describing some minor interior crisis to them (“I like waffles, but what if I don’t like these waffles and realize halfway through that what I really wanted was some oatmeal?”).

This year I’d like to write more (or at all, which is technically more than my current output), but I keep getting discouraged. I might just fall back on trying to be a chill dude. A chill dude is OK with stuff, so like, it’s OK if you don’t feel like writing. Don’t worry about it, my guy!

It’s a work in progress.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:50 AM on December 30, 2018 [15 favorites]

I had a quick look at my comment for 2018 and I think I did pretty well. I bought a house! That was terrifyingly and exciting. I no longer have my 6km walking commute as a result, so I definitely need to up my walking this year in other ways. May start walking from the previous station on my commute on the way home once it gets lighter in the evening. Plus, I live even closer to the South Downs now, so now to start looking into how I can get onto them without a car.

Otherwise, my main plans for this year are to start doing stuff to the house, get cats (eeeeee!!!) and start planting useful things in the garden. I got two herb/strawberry planters for Christmas so am definitely thinking herbs will be first on the list.

I did an 18 in 2018 list last year, I didn’t complete all 18 items but it was a good prod to the backside tool, so I shall be working on my 19 for 2019 list later.
posted by halcyonday at 4:30 AM on December 30, 2018 [7 favorites]

The most pronounced memory I have of a new year was quite a time ago at a hippie festival in New South Wales. It was not a very good festival (weird misogynist undercurrents) but it was a beautiful place and I was happy to be there and generally be exhausted from all the sunlight and heat. It's strange to remember things that were unequivocally unpleasant at the time in a positive light; once the sun really started, I wasn't moving from the shadecloth.
As a festival, there was naturally a bunch of drugs about, and there was a communal decision to take some ecstasy for the New Year's Eve/Day celebrations. It all seemed a bit iffy, but I was pretty game and I trusted everybody I was with to do right if I ended up in a weird state.
A familiar story to many, I imagine. It then took a rather silly turn a couple of hours later when everybody else was buzzed and I felt nothing - something I was annoyed about at the time but eventually discovered was the result of my antidepressants. So the New Year was not the dance I anticipated. I hiked out into a field away from everything where you could see the Milky Way, stripped off because it was still too hot, and sang all the songs I knew in my Scott Walker voice until it was 2am and I felt a little less irritated by the whole thing.

I have one resolution and it is to write a song. I know that's achievable.
posted by solarion at 4:43 AM on December 30, 2018 [6 favorites]

I set embarrassingly low reading goals on Goodreads - this year it was 40 books, including graphic novels/comic trades! - and barely hit that this year. So maybe this year is "set embarrassingly low goal and feel less bad about it."

Finish writing the current dang book, or decide that it's going to be a duology and not a trilogy and move on to something else.

For a while I thought my goal would be "stop being a White Girl with Dreads about queer media" - i.e. support it from a distance because it is invaluable to the people it actually belongs to, but stop consuming it as a way to manage my mood and escape from my own life. And I still want to do that, but I don't have the strength yet. There's other work to do on myself first, and I don't think I would have the wherewithal to get there if I were limited to, like, Jonathan Franzen novels in the meantime.

Relatedly, come to terms with midlife and the decisions I've made. I'll be 42 this year, with little savings and no kids. I need to stay employed indefinitely in order to stay housed, fed and in reach of mental health care. Where I live, it is fully legal to fire an employee for any reason or no reason. Thus, all this angst about gender and how much I hate playing mine really. needs. to. go. It's utterly fantastic for people to come out, but for me it would ruin my life, not to mention the ambiguity issues I've already detailed.

Being a cishet person is soul-killing, film at 11. Like, duh. But I can't push my spouse and cats into the street because I don't like doing what most people do every day: push down the inner shrieking voices and just, like, wear the clothes and play the part. Midlife crises, amirite?

Relatedly... make progress in therapy. Sigh.
posted by cage and aquarium at 5:19 AM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

My 2018 resolution was to watch more television, something other than Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes adaptations. I did it, and now my new resolution is to catch up on Who because the new series came along at a time when I wasn't watching anything at all.

This may be more of a project than a resolution, but I'm going to be ruthlessly honest about tracking my reading this year. 2018 is the first year since the early 2000s that I didn't finish over 100 books. I'd set my goodreads goal to 60 because I wanted to read more mindfully, but that isn't why I'm finishing the year at 98. The truth is that there were a couple of months where I kept picking up books, not finishing them, and then starting them again because I'd forgot I disliked them, and then there are all the productivity books that I feel kind of (very) embarrassed about reading, especially as they all seem to be written for a techbro audience and have little relevance to my life. If you see me quickly turn off my Kindle, it's because you caught me reading Deep Work or Atomic Habits or something of that kind. So, complete reading honesty.
posted by betweenthebars at 6:11 AM on December 30, 2018

I usually have a word or two that I write along the top of my year at a glance type calendar that helps me coalesce an idea of what I want the year to be like. One year it was learning more about antiracism. One year it was more about trying to relax more. Last year it was all about getting out of my own way, and giving stuff away. I think I did pretty well. This year I have to work on my health (physical and mental) like it's my JOB so I can get back to doing more of the work that is my actual job. Not sure what my word-mantra will be for that but I've got at least a day and a half to think of something!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 6:46 AM on December 30, 2018 [7 favorites]

I wrote a blog post about why I'm not doing resolutions this year.
posted by COD at 6:57 AM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

My resolutions are not specifically tied to the new year, but I have resolved to defend my dissertation (and get my BJJ purple belt, maybe?) before I turn one billion seconds old this summer. Given what's on my plate this semester, this will require me to be roughly one billion times as organized as I have been historically.

Oh, and as I have to return yet another unread book to the library today: I should read more books.
posted by egregious theorem at 7:27 AM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

This year, my resolution is to finish what I start.

And in the past couple years, I've started some wonderful things, so even if all I do this year is finish them, 2019 will be a big success!

-- Job Hunt
-- CPA Exams
-- Writing Projects
-- Radio Show Launch
-- (Dual) Citizenship App
-- Nonprofit Formation
-- Ridiculously Large Granny-Square Blanket (& other unnamed(able) quilting projects)
posted by rue72 at 7:28 AM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

I've done resolutions half-heartedly before, and they sometimes happen (but were likely to happen anyway) and sometimes don't. Have been more prone to doing long-term plans; the fifteen year one I wrote on my 35th was ... interesting ... to read again earlier this year. Some things did happen e.g. buy a house by the sea and live in it; travel widely around the USA by Amtrak. Some things did not e.g. write a full-length book; live in Scandinavia; own my own hot tub (maybe I should have combined those last three).

I've hammered out a one-page plan for the next three calendar years. Anything longer than that e.g. 5, 10 or 15 years, seems foolhardy and immortally arrogant; a 50+ year old body is not the same as a 35 year old one (as I've discovered, deep into middle age means, with respect to health, saying the phrase "Now what?" a few times). Some of the things in the plan are objectives I've been trying for a while, such as optimising sleep. Others I should have been trying but definitely need to do now, such as optimising memory and keeping cognitive sharpness up as much as possible.

There's several other reasons for a three year plan. These are connected with various turbulent things, not all of them of my choosing, that are imminently about to happen in my life (which am up for resolving; it's time). Related to a few of these is my solicitor advising me to "maybe knock off the open social media for a while" so I don't accidentally make them more complex, and she's right. The political elephant in the corner - well, that fills the entire room here in England - also annoyingly complicates a lot of things directly or indirectly. If I do go quiet across social media or here I'll probably still reply to MetaFilter mail, and possibly still put pictures up on Flickr sometimes (not always).

All being well and not too many obstacles crashing into my path I should be putting at least one project up on MetaFilter before that three years is up. And, again all being well and presuming they have sorted the pitch to provide a decent match, I'll see it out by being in Melbourne to watch England retain The Ashes that they will win this summer against the Sandpape...I mean Australia, at the MCG in the Boxing Day test match at the end of 2021. That's in the plan, and it would be good to have an IRL meetup there of both English and Australian cricketing MeFites (and any other MeFites). Now watch as life gets in the way...

Wishing all MeFites a fulfilling and largely turbulence-avoiding year ahead,
posted by Wordshore at 7:49 AM on December 30, 2018 [16 favorites]

I am not goal-oriented. I'm not ambitious. I'm not motivated to achieve. Those are considered very negative qualities in the US, but I'm comfortable with this about myself. I'm pretty good at noting my successes and fulfilling my wants and needs (now that I'm a middle-aged lady who went through all that young lady bullshit to figure it out), so I'm really okay with looking at people and saying "nope. My ambition is to be more happy than not from one day to the next while doing as little harm to the people and places around me as I can." ¯\(°_o)/¯

In 2018, I was trying to make a habit of doing 5 Sun Salutations most days in a week. I did pretty well. I'm adding a power pose series to the sun salutations for 2019. Because my body is getting stiffer and creakier every minute.

Every year on New Year's. I wear a tiara. My sister and I used to pass our grandmother's bridal tiara back and forth for the purpose of the new year tiara, but it's finally become too fragile (my grandparents were married in the 1930s). So I have some fantastic ones from Rhinestone Jewelry Corporation who really are perfect for all your tiara needs.
posted by crush at 8:00 AM on December 30, 2018 [22 favorites]

I've been muddling along in being low-key sick and exhausted for a couple-three years, but I think I've mostly got myself straightened out physically. But I've gotten myself stuck in a very plodding, reactive mode. I just focus on putting one foot in front of the other. This was a necessary when I was low on energy. It also might have been good for me to get out of my usual anxious mindset. However, I think it's time to get more strategic, so my theme for the New Year is "Think a move ahead," or "Plan a step ahead," or something like that. Unfortunately, I've got a cold right now, so I'm not planning anything beyond resting up and getting better for the next couple of days.
posted by BrashTech at 8:17 AM on December 30, 2018 [3 favorites]

I read yesterday afternoon (It's on the internet! It must be true!) that A Recent Study Has Shown* that all resolutions are dead by January 12 and I suspect that they're onto something. I'm not going to link it because it's on a fox site and I'm loathe to give them the clicks.
*Who makes these recent studies? What a line of crap.

When I was A Gym Rat, myself and the other Gym Rats would be laughing just now, knowing that come January 2 there's going to be a flood of people in the gym, brand new workout togs -- it seems to be that many of us poor lost sinners think that buying the threads will give us the abs.

I know people in AA who are also laughing*, the same idea, knowing that a lot of the drunks -- and a few of the alcoholics -- are going to show up at an AA meeting come Wednesday, whiskey dents in the fender, puke on their shoes, a stern set to their face, their spouses voice ringing loudly in their ear. 12 days and they're gone. Hey, one day for each step! Cool!
*They'll laugh like hell about the whole goddamn thing, because if you can't laugh about it you're going to cry about it, which you will anyways so laugh when you get a chance. That said, these people will go to the ends of the earth to help another alcoholic not take a drink today. It's remarkable. Hell of a show.


I've written piles and piles for here. Miles and miles. Not gonna put it up. It's too long and too personal and too painful and too annoying, even to me, and as much as I'd like to put it up here I don't want to put it up here even more.

I clocked 64 on the dial two weeks ago (yes, yes -- will you still need me / will you still feed me -- give it a rest) and I'm really furious that I'm not Jim Morrison in 1968, and I'm really furious that I'm not Ferguson Jenkins in 1971, and I'm really furious that I'm not David Goggins today, and I'm completely surprised all the damn time that I don't look at all on the outside how I feel on the inside, and what I *think* I look like -- I think I look like me in my mid-30s through 50, give or take. Dark, thick hair. Dark, thick beard. Check it out, I have this magic mirror -- I do *not* see this in the mirror but in pictures I have seen lines cut all around my eyes, which are likely angry even thinking about this. No kidding, my face looks like an old purse. A worn saddle bag.

I was stinging some, and pretty damned angry, too, and irritated, and then this post showed up on The Blue, from, about what it's like to start falling apart. It's a great read, and the thread was great, too, really gutsy people laying it on the line -- it totally rocked. But it also totally rocked *me* and not all in a happy, joyous, festive way. I am not at all interested in going quietly into that dark night or however it goes. Fuck. That. Noise. I'm not going to go at all. Anyone who's read any of the blather I put up here knows I had all those heart attacks and died and all of the rest of it -- well, what it's left me with is I'm all like "Hey, look -- I did my part for death. I gave at the office. Go. Away. Get the fuck outta here. You suck. I'm not gonna croak. Beat it." I really do think this way. And honestly, I think it helps me keep my chair at the table.

But reading some of you sane people in that post talking about the facts of the matter... It's given me pause. I am extraordinarily lucky. I'm 14 years past my "Expires Upon" date. I if anyone should know how great it is to even be able to walk. Or talk. Or hear. Or fuck. Or see. Or scratch myself. Play Freecell. I if anyone should accept that things are going to break down, or at least get a better attitude about all the amazing things I'm able to do, given where I've been.

Anyways. I don't drink anymore. I don't drug anymore. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, or cigars, I don't dip tobacco, or chew it, or rub it on my head, either. I work out. I eat good food, not all of the time but a lot. I should get points for all of that, like maybe the lines taken from around my eyes.

Do you know that when you get a bald spot barbers are really conscious of not showing it to you when they take that mirror and show you the cut in the back? I didn't know it till one slipped up, here in the past year. Now it's all I think about of course.

What. A. Dope.


Here's my resolve:
One Day At A Time: I will continue my 11 mile bike ride, rain or shine, hot or cold. I live in Austin, it's like living in Disneyland for grown-ups, the trail I ride is gorgeous.

One Day At A Time: I will do 120 pushups. I honestly do not feel that 120 is near enough, I'm considering 1000, or 10,000. Maybe a million! But not today I think.

One Day At A Time: I will show people I love that I love them. More importantly, I will show people who love me that I love them right back, in spades.

One Day At A Time: I will meditate 12 minutes a day, some days more, some daze less.

One Day At A Time: I will pray, on my knees, asking please for guidance, for direction, asking please for help to not be such a dope.

On particularly good days I'll throw down onto my knees, say The John Lennon Prayer:
He'p me if you can I'm feelin' down
An' I do appreciate you bein' 'round
He'p me get my feet back on the groun'
Won't you please, please help me


Best of my heart to all of you here.
posted by dancestoblue at 8:51 AM on December 30, 2018 [25 favorites]

A fun thing about going to the gym on January 2nd is that sanctimonious gym rats feel like they're entitled to be an asshole to you even if you go all year long.

Mid-January is the start of a new semester, and I've got some downtime in late December and early January, so this is kind of a natural time to set some goals and make some changes. Also, this is the first semester in a while when I'm not taking a class on top of working full-time, so I have some more time. So yeah, this semester I want to pack lunch rather than bringing in frozen crap from Trader Joe's every day. I have a couple of things around the house that I want to finish. I want to get a therapist, which I've been saying I would do for years and not doing, mostly because I am afraid I will find out that I am irredeemably broken. (I may be, but this is a bad reason to avoid therapy.) And I want to seriously start exploring the career change that I have not been willing to admit I want to make. So those are the goals for January-May, 2019: make lunch, finish decorating the spare bedroom, get a therapist, and look for a new job.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:08 AM on December 30, 2018 [8 favorites]

If you do one pushup on Jan 1, and then two on Jan 2, then by early April you'll be doing a hundred a day, and you'll have done 5050 pushups. It's okay to stop then, or really any time, and it's a good way to build up an impressive number of pushups in a reasonable amount of time. My partner and I did this with Burpees a couple years ago. The physicality changes after the hundred days were quite impressive.

Thanks for the reminder about the gym crowding in early January. All them new people will probably not be great with gym etiquette either. Good for them anyway.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:13 AM on December 30, 2018 [7 favorites]

From last year...
> Eat less, move more Um, missed this.
> Learn to juggle Nope. The person who was going to teach me was preoccupied this year.
> Lean to bake bread I did this, but it flies in the face of resolution 1.
> Learn to use my new sewing machine and make cushions/pillows for the house because the price of cute throw pillows in stores is criminal. I did this!

In 2019 I want to :
> Use that sewing machine to make a skirt that fits
> Learn some simple chords/songs on my new guitar.
> Take better care of myself physically & mentally so I have energy to...
> Get out more!

Happy 2019, lovelies, and may it be gentle on us all.
posted by kimberussell at 9:15 AM on December 30, 2018 [11 favorites]

Last year i resolved to do a bunch of new things, most of which i ended up passing on. In spite of only doing about a third of the things on the list, i feel like i met the ultimate goal -- to feel less stuck in a rut.

In the meantime, i wrote the first draft of a novel, cooked a bunch of vegan food, and accidentally-on purpose cut my alcohol consumption to about half of what it was. So win?

This year i've caught a case of the how-can-you-be-in-your-late-30s-and-still-not-have-accomplished-anything-worthwhile bug, and i'm trying to resist it. In the spirit of that resistance, i'm resolving to not try to run a marathon this year. (I've been telling myself that i was going to run a marathon every year since i turned 25. And every year, i start training, and every year i get injured enough that i have to take months off.)

Also, i'm going to finally finish that letter i promised to write my friend six months ago. And i'm going to write more letters to my niece.
posted by platitudipus at 9:33 AM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

I did 18 in 2018 successfully and I'm planning on doing 19 in 2019.

My daughter was 4 months old when I wrote my 18 in 2018 and I remember that very little seemed doable at that time. I was still in a place where I wanted my life "back." My resolutions reflected that: they were small and almost all had to do with doing something once that brought me joy in the past (an example: go to the movies). Mixed in were a few "be a responsible adult" ones (example: write my will) and a few "better resolve to do this or it might not happen" ones (example: throw a birthday part for my daughter).

Look at them, I see that another possible reason for their success is that almost all of them were one and done or yes/no things. Like either you run a mile once outside or you don't. It doesn't take sustained willpower.

It worked well for me. I'm going to try to mimic the same for 2019.
posted by CMcG at 9:54 AM on December 30, 2018 [3 favorites]

I resolve to update my MetaFilter profile, and ask others to do the same. So many MeFites have blogs, twitters, photos, and good stuff they could link. It can be difficult to keep track of people, and a populated profile is quite helpful.

I also resolve to get my keyboard fixed. Sticky keys, a few with the keycaps busted, etc. Tyipng is hrd enough.
posted by theora55 at 10:07 AM on December 30, 2018 [10 favorites]

One of my resolutions for this year is to comment more on this site, so it's fitting that I start here. Also on my list is to get going earlier instead of waiting until the last minute. That will mean getting up earlier and tearing myself away from the computer which I have a harder time doing that I'd like to admit. I'm going to do my best. Let's see what happens.
posted by AMyNameIs at 10:27 AM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

My 2019 resolution is to learn to write longhand with my non-dominant hand. Because it's a random resolution with low stakes and low pressure, I'm strangely confident about actually being able to make this work.
The other 18 resolutions (I like the idea of 19 in 2019) are secret because I am not at all sure those would make it through!
Good luck with all your resolutions and projects, MeFites. May you crush them all!
posted by Nieshka at 10:27 AM on December 30, 2018 [3 favorites]

Last year, I think I aggressively avoided resolutions because "survive 2018" was about everything I could come up with at the time. Which I have successfully done! But man, it was a year with a lot of losses. I feel like I really should come up for some for this year, because I'm actually going to be in a much better position to accomplish some things, but right now I'm still more at the stage of reading other people's and feeling really insecure. We'll see if I can manage more by tomorrow night!
posted by Sequence at 10:38 AM on December 30, 2018 [2 favorites]

-Listen to new music: I did this! I started by going down the Wikipedia article for 2018 releases as they came out, but then found I was missing a lot of great stuff and started browsing metacritic and other various best-of lists. I also listened to and loved a lot of artists I found through FPPs. I made a playlist of 50 favorites.
-Make lots of sandwiches: The actual goal here was to reduce the amount that I eat out, and I figured keeping sandwich fixings at home would help. I started off the year with a lot of sandwiches but ended up getting Blue Apron for about 4 months, and I did a lot of home cooking. I'd call it a success.
-Keep track of books I read: I did this! I used Goodreads (and I also have a list of ratings out of 10 on my phone because I find the 5 star ratings too limiting). I read 19 books, including tackling The Count of Monte Cristo which had previously scared me off since it's such a doorstopper. I really enjoyed it.
-Spend more time with friends: I did okay at this. Still didn't see people as much as I'd like.

-Memorize the NATO phonetic alphabet
-Make an effort to host a board game night or other get-together monthly
-Tackle my big list of Pinboard pinned recipes (I already started this earlier in the week)
posted by capricorn at 10:41 AM on December 30, 2018 [8 favorites]

I am going to cook more things! - yep. Not as many things as I would have liked to cook

I am going to keep calling my congresspeople! - yep. Called about once a week.

I am going to find more effective ways of political engagement than calling my congresspeople, and do them! - not really. I went to several protests and donated a lot of money. I don't feel like it really did anything.

I am going to keep using my accountability spreadsheet (that you are welcome to join in on) and submit at least three papers this year! - nope. I stopped using my spreadsheet by the middle of the summer, though I did sort of use a journal thing. I submitted two papers - one published, one currently in the second round of reviews - and have written up the majority of two more.

I am going to cook more things!

I am going to keep calling my congresspeople!

I will go to ballet class at least once a week when I am in the US!

I will keep using my accountability notebook journal thing, and get three papers submitted!

I am going to find a therapist and go see them!

posted by ChuraChura at 10:47 AM on December 30, 2018 [11 favorites]

I don't really do resolutions, but I do like to comment in these posts. From last year: I'd like to eat better (healthier food, less meat, more local ingredients, more scratch cooking, more workday lunches with people and fewer workday lunches where I just go to the grocery store and buy some random thing), exercise more (more regular stretching and yoga, more hiking and bicycling, some attempt at tracking and gamifying and stuff), have all my bikes in good working condition at the same time, drink less, take better care of my skin, improve my Spanish, and be better at correspondence.

I'm eating better, and cooking a lot more. I exercised more in 2018 than I did in 2017, but not as much as I wanted to (partially, maybe, because I didn't do much to track or gamify it). My bikes are all in good working condition, and both my skin care and my Spanish have improved. In 2019, I'm still trying to do these things more or better, with some additional focus on being better at correspondence.

In my working life, I'd like to spend time giving advice and mentoring, working on ways to connect my ideas about information literacy and social justice and stuff to the things I do at work, and do more professional writing and presenting.

I've done this stuff. In 2019, I'd like to do more of it.

I'd also like to read more books (and do better at tracking and reviewing the books I read), and to do better at keeping up with podcasts (and unsubscribing from ones I don't keep up with) and seeking out new music, tv, and movies, especially ones created by people that aren't cis white men.

Read, check. Track and review, not so much. Podcasts, there's room for improvement. I've been doing better about seeking out new stuff. I still want to do all these things.

Full disclosure, I also have some goals related to Animal Crossing Pocket Camp.

While I'm still playing ACPC, I no longer have any goals related to it. I would like to play more face-to-face games, especially Scrabble, in 2019. And track/review/gamify stuff.
posted by box at 10:50 AM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

Oh! Also, wear red lipstick often enough I no longer feel like a clown and then just wear red lipstick!
posted by ChuraChura at 11:10 AM on December 30, 2018 [18 favorites]

I rather like resolutions, as long as I don't take them too seriously.

So for 2019 I would like to lose a bit more weight -- I lost a nice chunk last year from this resolution and I only gained back a little bit this fall, so if I lose that plus a bit more I will be content. Been eating a lot for the holidays but January will be, as foodies say. vegetable-forward.

I would also like to read more books that I haven't read before (I tend to read the same things over and over).

I would also like to get rid of more things. Last year I read Goodbye Things and was really inspired and cleared out a bunch of stuff, but naturally being an American there's lots more I could dump so I want to keep working on that.

And I want to get good enough on the soprano ukulele that I can tell myself it's okay to then buy a concert ukulele. This may or may not happen.
posted by JanetLand at 11:25 AM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

"getting rid of more things" is a goal I relate to.
posted by crush at 11:36 AM on December 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

I make them. I have decent will power so I’m good at th usually. Mine for this year are:
1) 8 hours sleep. No matter what.
2) Use my instant pot more.
posted by greermahoney at 12:02 PM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

I have found that the times I have stuck to new years resolutions has been when I have picked something small that I can do every day. Sort of the "don't break the chain" method, although I didn't actually check off the days. Flossing my teeth every night was a big one, and I still do that. Also one years I decided to go from double-spacing after a period to single-spacing.
posted by radioamy at 12:39 PM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

Nicole Cliffe posted on Twitter that her only New Year's Resolution that she ever really stuck with was that, as soon as she woke up in the night needing to pee, she would go pee. I have decided to adopt this immediately, and Readers, I have no regrets so far.
posted by kalimac at 12:59 PM on December 30, 2018 [21 favorites]

Not much for resolutions, but for Reasons, 2019 is going to be The Year I Speak French.
posted by wellred at 1:03 PM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

2018 was kind of a pile of poop, and I didn't get any of last year's resolutions fully accomplished, but I made progress. Which is great.

Everything is changing this year. My mother in law (the last of either of our families that we speak to) died, both husband and I got laid off and I spent a month on medical leave all in the last quarter, but I'm taking it as a sign to wipe the slate clean and start with a fresh attitude.

I turn 50 in 2020. I'm writing up a list of 50 before 50. Some of it is very pedestrian and some of it is already planned, but it will be interesting to see how much I can get accomplished in the next 2 years.

Finishing clutter removal and sewing projects are big parts of my plans.
posted by Sophie1 at 1:04 PM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

I have two concrete goals that were sort of already built into my life for me already:

1. My current lease expires in the fall and I no longer want to be in the city I'm in, so I have a series of goals designed to get me to where I can be out of this city by that time. I'm also kicking this off with the help of a coach, since I had the service through my job's mental health concierge for free, so why not?

2. I received a very surprising but very welcome holiday gift of a theremin, so now I need to learn how to play it. My first goal is to play the Star Trek theme. (Probably that's everyone's first goal? Do enough people have theremins that this is a cliche?)

Those are all the goals I'm going to make, but they give me direction. Anything that doesn't support them gets de-prioritized, and all the other things I should be doing anyway (riding my bike more, returning to the way of eating I know works best for me) all support the first goal, since feeling better will give me more energy and make me more confident, which will help with the job search.
posted by rhiannonstone at 1:24 PM on December 30, 2018 [9 favorites]

I resolve to be more creatively, and pleasantly self sufficient this year, and lose the next 50 pounds. I lost fifty last year, and resurrected my physical self, my breath, my strength. I further resolve to leave the churning, unsolvable out of my thoughts, and motivate myself in all efforts, with joy! Whether it is the last tenth mile, or topping a hill, or answering a stranger's question, or speaking with anyone, it will come from joy. Joy is what I will share this year.
posted by Oyéah at 1:27 PM on December 30, 2018 [9 favorites]

I always have the same one: finish more projects than I start. Which is in its own way another project for me to start and not finish.
posted by ckape at 1:41 PM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

I'm going to learn to play bass. Not to be good at bass, but enough to plunk along to a song or play a little riff or something. I can play a little bit of guitar, though I'm not very good, but lately I'm appreciating the bass' role in a song.

I also want to get in better shape, though I've had a weird thing going on with my leg for about a year or so. I have some on-and-off pain that's keeping me from running or hiking. I suppose I should begin with getting that checked out.

I'll do dry January again. This will be the fourth year I'm doing it and I like having it as a little check on myself. I don't drink a lot but I have a habit of having a drink most nights and I like to make sure I can not have a drink for a few weeks.

I'll be turning 50 at the end of 2019. I have mixed feelings about that.
posted by bondcliff at 1:48 PM on December 30, 2018 [7 favorites]

(and I also have a list of ratings out of 10 on my phone because I find the 5 star ratings too limiting).

Possibly unnecessary tip: You can also create custom shelves on goodreads and assign books to those as a rating system, if you want to track it all in one place.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 1:49 PM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

You guys! I have been putting off a dreaded task since September, and today I did it. It is done. (Well, almost done. I should probably put on another coat of stain.) I may not need any New Year's Resolutions, because I am done for 2019!
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 2:33 PM on December 30, 2018 [18 favorites]

I had a pile of goals this year, some of which went decently well and some of which didn't. The health related goals fell by the wayside. I did manage to read an average of two things a month for fun (which is SO LOW for me, but I'm working FT and a phd student, so). "Figure out how to have an adult relationship with my father without my mother as a mediating force. It's been a year and a half, it's time to get our shit together" is actually going okay, even if we still do most of our socializing over sporting events. We text more, he emails me snippets of news in the morning, we're doing okay.

My bestie has been doing monthly goals instead of yearly resolutions, and it's going well for her so far, so I think I'm going to emulate. January:

1) 64 ounces of water a day
2) 5 fruits and veg a day
3) take my vitamin D every day

January is starting Jan 6, because we're in Texas doing New Year's with my wife's girlfriend and husband and teenager (though he's off at camp until tomorrow, it's glorious. We love him, but this is nice). Tomorrow night she's making enchiladas, and I expect we'll play some Cards Against Humanity. New Year's Day we'll go see Aquaman. It's been a very nice week.
posted by joycehealy at 3:04 PM on December 30, 2018 [8 favorites]

In other news, today is my birthday! I spent the day doing a lot of cleaning and decluttering, because it's true, for us with late December birthdays it is a great opportunity to get things in order for the new year. Tonight my boyfriend is taking me out to dinner at a restaurant I've been wanting to eat at for ages, so I'm very excited.
posted by capricorn at 3:15 PM on December 30, 2018 [14 favorites]

Happy birthday!
posted by Secretariat at 3:17 PM on December 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

Thank you! :D
posted by capricorn at 3:19 PM on December 30, 2018

It's taken me too damn long as an adult to figure out a bad pattern that I have - I will start a project (or some sort of commitment), run into problems that I don't know how to solve, linger in those unsolved problems for a while, and then put the whole aside and start a new project, rinse, repeat. A lot of stuff remains unresolved that way. I finally realized a couple of months ago that I do this with the hope that I will complete the next project, in order to feel a sense of accomplishment and/or control. So, I'm working on being present enough to not do that.

Related, I find myself reading or cleaning or reorganizing or what-have-you in order to distract myself from unresolved things. So now I am trying to ask myself what I am trying to distract myself from, and be more concious of those things so that I can think about resolutions.

These bad habits are affecting various relationships in my life, and I'd like that to stop so that we can move forward in those relationships.
posted by vignettist at 3:57 PM on December 30, 2018 [11 favorites]

I just looked at mine from last year, which was basically, "I want to continue being authentic and genuine and compassionate and otherwise a real human being with my new work team and not get too caught up in self-doubt," which I do think I've accomplished and which is something I want to continue in my new role, too.
posted by lazuli at 5:02 PM on December 30, 2018 [8 favorites]

I had several New Years resolution attempts over the years to stop biting my nails. One year I actually managed it, and happily no longer bite my nails! So of course now I'm a believer in Resolutions For Life.

This year I'm gonna try to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night.
posted by mostly vowels at 5:09 PM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

My New Year's resolution for this year: Not to (again) forget my New Year's resolution.

(Also I want to learn how to better live in the moment, which is somewhat of a paradox for a future goal)
posted by Namlit at 5:17 PM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

Be more present for my kids.

Last year’s resolutions were to improve my work situation and (I know I’ve written about this a lot on Mefi) we successfully unionized and I’m in a master’s degree program. In order to do this we had to contract our lifestyle a bit which meant, putting the kids in public school, moving, and having my wife take on more work while I cut back. The kids haven’t reacted to all of this well and at my stage of career “cutting back” doesn’t happen with the flick of a switch, it’s more of a slow wind down and I just haven’t had as much time to be a dad as I’d hoped. My seven year old is moving dangerously toward bullying and my 9 year old doesn’t give one shit about doing academic work he’s proud of. But things have really come to conclusion at work, I aced my first quarter in grad school and it should be easing up, and the move is more or less complete. So I’ve got the time and I think we are still at a point where I can intervene. Six months ago they were bright and sensitive kids. Now they have a dad who spends a lot less time being angry and withdrawn.

Also, Dryuary. Which I fucking hate. Which is evidence that I need Dryuary.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 5:24 PM on December 30, 2018 [10 favorites]

I normally don't make resolutions for NY, but I'm remembering I did exactly that for the first time in my life last year when I finally started HRT and treatment. And that's been good and my one year anniversary is coming up! And I even have a doc appointment next week that I'm looking forward to!
posted by loquacious at 7:41 PM on December 30, 2018 [7 favorites]

2018 was such a fucking rollercoaster for me, and I know the ride is not over. 2019 is going to see either a marriage reconciliation or divorce. My only resolution is going to be to hang on for the ride, and try to make the best decisions for myself that I can.

With that said, I found out in therapy that I am very averse to the word and general concept of "goals". I know what I want out of life and I work to get there, but if you ask me for a goal, I freeze up. I get hung up on trying to set one that's achievable but challenging, not too small but not too big, short term v long term is frustrating, etc etc. I get worked up over it and talk myself in circles, and it's ridiculous. Rename it as an assignment or homework, then no problem.

In other life news... I've been off work since Dec 18, had lots of plans of things I was going to do, and ended up not doing much because I've been sick this whole time. I'm still sick. I should probably go to the doctor, but eh. It feels like a cold that turned into laryngitis or something. I did hang out 2 days in a row (Day 1 was going into Chicago, eating and shopping; Day 2 was a 70th birthday party for her dad) with a friend I've had since I was 4 years old, which is the most time I've spent with her in a long, long long time and it was absolutely delightful.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, which is going to be really really hard. I've spent every NYE midnight for the past 12 years with my husband, and now we're separated and I'll be by myself. My plan was to burn things in my backyard fire pit as a cleansing and launching of 'Fig 2.0' , drink champagne and cry a lot, but, it's supposed to rain. I hate rain so I'm definitely not gonna do that if that's the case. I don't really have a backup plan. Staying in and watching people party is not fun, going out seems like a terrible idea..... I don't know. I am going to fancy tea service at the v fancy Drake Hotel in Chicago with some friends at noon Jan 1, so I have that to look forward to.

Then, my husband's birthday is January 6, and our anniversary is Jan 14. Heavy sigh. If I can get through the next 3 weeks, I'll be in the clear(ish).

This place and you people have been a huge part of my support structure this year, I cannot say thank you enough. I love all of you.

Here's to a wonderful 2019!! *clink*
posted by Fig at 8:11 PM on December 30, 2018 [45 favorites]

Cheers and hugs, Fig.
posted by lazuli at 8:14 PM on December 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

Hang in there, Fig. You're doing great and it's natural to feel sad; I'll probably be in bed by ten thirty, so we can form a cross continental club!
posted by smoke at 8:37 PM on December 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

Oh Fig I’m so sorry this has been so hard for you. I’m with you- I have a hard time with “goals” as a concept. Like putting it to paper or speaking it out loud- even if I know and am doing the thing, gives me the howling fantods. You are definitely not alone in that particular quirk. (There are dozens of us. Dozens!!!)
Here’s to your 2019!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 8:39 PM on December 30, 2018 [2 favorites]

Learning the harmonica! All advice is welcome.
posted by The Toad at 9:09 PM on December 30, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm not fond of New Year's resolutions, because I'm of the opinion that, if it's worth starting or keeping, it's worth starting or keeping before NYD. The first time I sobered up, it was NYD of 2005, and I stayed sober for 2 1/2 years; when I went back out again, I pretty much picked up again at the level I'd quit at. (So, longer than I'd originally planned--I meant to try this sobriety thing for a year--but it still didn't stick.) When I quit the second time, it was at the end of January, and I quit because, post-second-DUI, I was being allowed to drive my car for five months, as long as I had a BAIID (blood-alcohol ignition interlock device, basically a breathalyzer hooked up to my car ignition) attached to my car. The installer went into a long litany about how long I should wait after I drank before driving--he very obviously didn't believe that the average installee would stay sober, and was probably right--and I just thought to myself, fuck it, having to deal with this thing shutting off my car at exactly the wrong time would just be the last fucking straw. And so, I went out to my favorite bar one last time, had the gizmo put on my car late the next day, and that was that, nearly seven years ago. I was still very much in denial about my disease, still white-knuckling it through AA meetings, and still hoping that my lawyer could get me off on a technicality, but somewhere along the way, something stuck. And it wasn't a commitment that I made to myself on NYD, my birthday, Bastille Day, or Bill W.'s birthday; it's one that I make to myself every day.

Learning the harmonica! All advice is welcome.

I always thought that the theme from Dvorak's New World Symphony would be nice to learn on the harmonica.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:23 PM on December 30, 2018 [13 favorites]

Sometime during the first quarter of the year, I decided that it’s time to face the fact I’m retiring in a little over a decade. So I scrounged up the money, renovated a rental property, then sold it. Closing is in 2 weeks. I’ve wanted to do this for two years but couldn’t find the emotional momentum to begin.

This will clear the last of my graduate school debts and seed my retirement plan generously and get me on track. I wish I had done this sooner.

I’m cooking more than before. I’m making cheddar cheese! I have a new Kenwood stand mixer that I LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

Practicing the piano regularly and maybe taking singing lessons has been percolating on my brain for a while.

Circling back to retirement: as I write this, I realise that I’d put off planning for the future because until a decade ago, I assumed I’d be alone. But Mr lemon_icing entered my life and now things are different. It’s a”we” thing now. And I don’t want us to ever to suffer from want. So I am plunging into the uncharted waters of comprehending a life partnership. So the first and probably only thing I can do is make sure we’re as safe as possible.

So maybe that’s my New Years resolution : embrace the future, plan for disasters, and rejoice when none appear. And make more cookies.
posted by lemon_icing at 9:51 PM on December 30, 2018 [16 favorites]

here is my extremely excellent unsolicited advice re: achievement or "turning over a new leaf" resolutions - start them in february instead. the shortest month. everyone else has already failed at theirs and you don't have to deal with any weird peer pressure to succeed. you get to enjoy the suffering of others all throughout january. i'm sure you can guess what the main selling point is for me.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:06 PM on December 30, 2018 [12 favorites]

anyway my resolution is as per usual not to fatally stab anyone in 2019.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:07 PM on December 30, 2018 [15 favorites]

Ha! One of these years we'll both (all?) manage to keep it.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 11:54 PM on December 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

Last year's resolution was "Shave my head".
I did not shave my head.
posted by fullerine at 11:54 PM on December 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

Like a bunch of people above I don't do proper New Year's Resolutions. In my thirties I was quite good at setting myself a Book List (a comfy 12/year to fit around my other reading) and either finishing or "honourably abandoning" those.

I know the resolutions I should make because I'm consistently letting myself down and those I love too. That's no help. I won't make resolutions I have no strong intention of keeping.

I resolve to return my friends' lent books, games, etc. Ideally enjoyed;
I resolve to see at least ONE Fallout New Vegas ending instead of wandering for hundreds of hours;
I resolve to learn enough German to rival my French, i.e. bad directions via vague/non-existent landmarks level;
I resolve to live through Breggsit even if I have to slogan up and march for once in my life;
I resolve to quit the job that's paid me minimal money at the expense of my mental health for far too long;
I wish there was a magic resolution composed of aspirational words that would help me deal with my Mum's slow but not slow enough decline because I'm making the worst fucking hash of it;
I resolve to talk to my friends more and to ignore the inner voice which tells me not to.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 12:26 AM on December 31, 2018 [5 favorites]

Let's see... This was my list about a year ago.

Recording, I did a little bit of, but it fell off a cliff when I fell down the stairs in May and broke my ankle. I ended up writing 3 original songs (and actually recording just one of them) in 2018, plus recording myself singing 30 covers of the 180 I had hoped to complete. I hope to keep recording covers sporadically and definitely record and post more originals in 2019.

Collaboration, well, I still want to finish that album, cicadaverse! Between the two of us and our respective life events, 2018 was a spectacularly unproductive year musically, for multiple reasons. Here's to seeing what we can pick back up in 2019! Otherwise, 2018 saw a return to collaboration on book projects for me, which was so enjoyable, some large proportion of my recent conversations have been about how I can make more books with people in 2019. So that's an important goal for me coming up.

Drawing, I got through fewer than a half-dozen drawings at the beginning of 2018 before realizing I just didn't have the motivation to do that every day. For 2019, though, as mentioned elsewhere, the dreams I've been tweeting for 10 years are calling to me, and it seems time to perhaps finally start creating my book of dreams. What I'm thinking is that perhaps I can get myself to create at least one dream collage each week for the next year, combining photography and illustration in a black-and-white Sandman-like zine format. That's the idea, anyway. The project might start late, depending on how quickly I can copy the dreams into my spreadsheet this week, pick out my favorite 52 of them, and plot out a reasonable order. I'm 4 years into it (out of 11 years of dream tweets) and on line 1,232 of my dream spreadsheet as of tonight. But yeah, I've had so many conversations and collaborations in just the past couple of weeks that suggest to me that 2019 might be a year of book creation for me, which I wholeheartedly welcome.

Pingame, I did in fact get the party parrot pins made, and I was able to pick them up when I returned from L.A. back in May. Due to subsequent tragedies and shifts in my attention, I never got around to posting them in my shop, but they are out there, and I've been trading them with folks and giving them as gifts for months. I could be more serious about actually making money on these things and probably do much better with it than I am, but I just like making them, either way. I'm sure I'll come up with some more pin ideas in 2019!

Photography, unless something utterly spectacular happens, I'm done with (at least in terms of posting the results) for 2018. This was my most successful 365 project in the past year, or perhaps ever, as I hit 365 early, back in September, and I'll end the year with 450 Instagram posts for 2018 and 777 posts on Instagram overall. What I hope to do in 2019: Successfully mount a joint gallery show with my mother and aunt, all three of us creative triple threats (artists, musicians, and writers) with voluminous archives of rarely or never seen work. Photography will also be an important part of making the aforementioned book of dreams. And I still do want to revisit a previously laid out but never published second volume of sunset photos, as well as make more postcards and otherwise see what I can do with the material I have in book, zine, and card form in 2019.

Tennis and walking, I can finally do again as of this fall, and I plan to keep it up. I have to, or my ankle gets stiff now. It's hard to maintain motivation here in the cold dead days of the year, but photography and music alone keep me going with this. I started doing both because they were a way to get out of the house and get time to myself to practice singing while getting in better physical condition. They'll both be important ongoing practices for me in 2019. The other thing I did in conjunction with this in 2018 was get serious about the medication needed to control or cure a couple conditions. I've been tracking all exercise, drug regimens, and food intake with an app—I just finished day 337. I'm down 15 to 20 pounds overall, depending on the day, and I'll keep this up in 2019. What I'd like to get back to: lifting weights and shooting baskets at a community center I'm still paid up on, I believe, through April or something like that. The only reason I stopped was breaking my ankle. Archery, on the other hand, just didn't work out for me in 2018, though I got a free target out of the whole set of events related to it. I'll get back to it someday...

Tarot, I've done 22 readings for myself in 2018, and I definitely understand the cards better than I did a year ago. I'll probably do one on the first of the year to start 2019 and keep going from there. I've tried to at very least do them once a month, plus on each of the major neopagan holidays.

TV shows, I have so lost interest in this year. I'll probably watch the latest Black Mirror when I can devote some time to it. I'm definitely all caught up on The Magicians and eagerly awaiting the fourth season. Ditto iZombie. I started and will probably finish Counterpart at some point. I've watched a lot more movies than shows; this feminist romance movie thread has been amazing for movie recommendations at the tail end of the year.

Music, man, I've said it elsewhere, but this year's secret quonsar mixtape from Gilgongo truly rocked my musical world. I'm currently working my way through Dar Williams' back catalog, while both awake and asleep, thanks to Gilgongo's influence. It seems we've both come away with some good recommendations for follow-up from this experience, so thanks again, secret quonsar!

Otherwise, I had dramatically more than my fair share of tragedies in 2018. My house was burglarized in January, I broke my ankle in May and was stuck in my house for the better part of 3 months, my father died in July, I punted on an entire summer's worth of travel and conferences and did 6 months' worth of rehab, subsequent car repairs cost more than my car's current value, my aunt had to have major surgery... I pulled the Death card twice in 2018 readings, and it truly was the kind of year that clears the slate and ushers in new beginnings in a whole lot of ways.

Here at the tail end of this insane year, I feel accomplished and also just relieved that so far I've survived this crazy ride. My overall feeling right now really mirrors some aspects of how I felt 2 years ago almost to the day. I'm gonna take my own advice to a friend from 2 years ago, and also impart this to you.

1. There is some supernatural shit afoot.
2. The despair in my heart, and maybe your heart too, is real.
3. But at the same time, the what-comes-after-that is just as real.
4. Just know there's more on the other side of despair.
5. It's the doing that matters—and reconnecting with oneself.
6. Yes. Let's do this thing. 💖
posted by limeonaire at 12:36 AM on December 31, 2018 [14 favorites]

All the hugs Fig, and happy birthday Capricorn!

I managed my non resolutions from last year, saw more of my friends and weighed myself more leading to more weight loss!

For this year, continue with the previous resolutions, keep up not drinking which started in March, aside from at a wedding in September (and potentially tonight at a party with the same friends), and give a low inflammation diet a good try in January to see if it helps with my fibromyalgia.

Happy New Year mefi, this is my favourite place on the internet and my life is richer for all of you in it.
posted by ellieBOA at 5:13 AM on December 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

I'm a huge fan of the utterly obtainable, life-enriching and fun resolutions - recent years have seen me resolve to listen to more Stevie Wonder, travel ANYWHERE within reason to see art exhibits that interest me, see live music at least once a month, take a class once a quarter to further a dabble-y interest...I'm still hunting for a resolution for '19!
posted by ersatzkat at 5:31 AM on December 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

how do you welcome in the new year?

Well. NYE is a big anniversary of one of the events in my old man's decline and death. That night itself killed off any later impulse for going out, so I hunker down alone, take a bath, watch PBS, drink a bottle of bubbly, maybe forget to watch the ball drop.

BUT! This year! For the first time in ages, I'm actually seeing someone at this time of year, and so there's someone to turn to and kiss at the stroke of midnight. That's pretty new.

BUT! She's canceled our NYE's date, and (so far) had made no attempt to reschedule, and isn't responding to my texts.

Fuck you, 2018. Fuck yooooooooooou.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:48 AM on December 31, 2018 [11 favorites]

Hugs, Fig. Here's to a better 2019.
posted by platitudipus at 6:56 AM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

After a heinous couple weeks at work, I had the epiphany that I would probably be bothered less by the workplace bullshit if my outside-work life was fuller. It's gotten really out of balance because I've been a lazy schmoo, both physically and mentally.

So I decided to set up some challenges for myself over the course of next year:
* I will visit one new neighborhood in my city every month.

* I will eat out (a lunch on a weekend) at one new-to-me restaurant in my neighborhood each month. There are scores of gorgeous restaurants in my neighborhood which I’ve never tried out.

* I will try to take at least five photos every weekend with my beautiful and glorious new camera. Granted, I have to figure out how the blasted thing works first, but…yeah.

* I will do the Penguin Books UK classics reading challenge (one classic book a month).

* I will complete about half of all of the unfinished craft projects I have lingering in the house by the end of the year. I have a lot of lingering knitting and decoupage ideas sitting in dusty corners, and a couple of tired old things that I have been meaning to spruce up…it’s time to finally do it.

* I will hike once a month. New York City is loaded with hiking trails in its furthest corners, and when I exhaust that, then the Hudson Valley is only a short jaunt.

* I will attend the Brooklyn Museum’s First Saturday event every month. Brooklyn Museum plans all kinds of wacky special events, but for me the appeal is the free admission; if none of the events speak to me, I can just slip off to some of the other galleries and wander a little.

* I have a hands-down gorgeous Chinese cookbook that does a deep dive into the different regional cuisines in China, but I have used it for precisely one recipe. I've flagged 40 others that seem doable; I will be trying at least three of them per month.
This is all on top of an ongoing effort to watch all of the 1001 Movies Before You Die movies. I just watched movie #135, which puts me 11% of the way there (I'm actually watching every movie that has ever been in any version of the list, so my list is more like 1210 films).

I have already signed up for a guided photo walk on Coney Island on the 19th, which will cover both hiking for the month and photos for that week; and I'm also eyeing one of the free low-key New Year's Day hikes that the Urban Park Rangers have going on tomorrow. Excelsior!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:43 AM on December 31, 2018 [13 favorites]

how do you welcome in the new year?

For the last umpteen years, as long as I've been with Jim at least, we've had a neighborhood NYE thing at my friends' house. All the neighbors and the kids and the pets, all in one place. Very nice. Then a few years back they sort of did that "We're moving into separate houses but we're good" thing (and the parties continued) and then a year or so back they said they were getting divorced. Sold the house last January and we had one last party, that we knew would be the last party. This year it was unclear if there would be a thing (they are still friends and still co-entertain together which is mostly good but a little odd). I have a thing about there being a thing I am not invited to. So I asked direct questions and got no clear answers (probably because there was no clear answer) and decided to stay down in MA where I go for holidays instead of driving back up on the 31st. Which is nice actually. So we'll be at home, Jim and I, probably watching movies. This year has been a little not-my-fave in a few ways I've mentioned here and there so a low key exit to it is fine with me. Jim's snoozing and will wake up soon. We';ll get food and go for a walk on the beach, see if we can get food anywhere. We have a shakycam version of Aquaman to watch here at home. I'll turn on the holiday lights. We'll maybe take a bath with the coconut epsom salts I got for holidaytime. And we'll go to bed and sleep and wake up, I sure hope, to a new year.

Best wishes for those who are struggling. I'm glad we're all here together.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:47 AM on December 31, 2018 [19 favorites]

Or, if not "excelsior" - then "This is better than doing nothing but watching Youtube when I'm at home!"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:48 AM on December 31, 2018 [2 favorites]

We've been attending a friend-couple's NYE party for the last...20-something years now. It's a themed party every year. My favorites have been: White Out (everything was white), Kubrick (in 2001, obv.), Art (I dressed as a Lichtenstein painting come to life), and this year's theme, PAJAMA PARTY! They almost always choose themes based in the 1930s/40s, and this year is no exception. It's supposed to be fancy/sexy PJs, but as my husband and I have yet to find anything we like, I may just end up wearing my llama pj pants and a t-shirt, which is how I generally end every one of my days. We're supposed to be going out to thrift stores today but I'm not sure that's happening?

Anyway, I'm also making deviled eggs an using a 1940s recipe for an orange cake. I hope the cake turns out.

Then tomorrow it's back to the same friends' house for New Year's Day brunch. This started because we all started to have kids and everyone wanted to get together as families on NYD. The youngest kid is now a freshman in high school (!!!!!) but we still do this every year. We do lots of stuff together throughout the year, too. The kids have essentially been raised as cousins, as none of us have blood family in town. It's really nice. My 18 year old daughter asked me when she could start attending the NYE party. I told her she could come this year and ring in the new year on the porch with us (we get champagne, sign Auld Lang Syne, pop confetti poppers) but I think her boyfriend is having a little party at his house; so much for that!

This year has well and truly sucked, with my dad's cancer re-emergence, my niece's death after her three-year bout with cancer (cancer can fucking suck it), my job uncertainties, becoming empty nesters. I need to start therapy again, and have also been toying with the idea of joining a Unitarian Universalist church as a way to have more community and service in my life. I'm finding it hard to feel positive about anything, and that is not how I usually operate so I'm feeling very...unbalanced.

I really like your list, EmpressCallipygos, and may borrow some themes from it. I need all the help I can get at this point.

Lastly, I'm really thankful for this place. All y'all are another family to me.
posted by cooker girl at 8:14 AM on December 31, 2018 [11 favorites]

I am proud to share that I met my goal of eating more submarine sandwiches by eating 581 cumulative inches of submarine sandwich.

In 2019 I am going to work in one new medium per month. So far I've got watercolors set for January, then R for February, and bread for March, but these are all flexible (up until the first of each month anyway).
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:22 AM on December 31, 2018 [8 favorites]

Cooker Girl: I'm impressed, it sounds like you have a lot going on. But striving for fun is both huge, and does sound like it's exactly what you need.

There was another similar challenge I was doing for a while, but that blogger seems to have slacked; she would pick one of her cookbooks each month and make at least two recipes from it that she hadn't ever made before. I had a lot of fun with that, and that in fact influenced the cookbook part of my challenge. I just decided to make it all one cookbook so I had an excuse to visit Brooklyn's Chinatown more often and hit up this Asian market there (sure, I may claim to be going for the access to wonton wrappers, but I'm really there because it has a lot of those only-in-Japan Kit-Kat Flavors and I can get those too). But the showcasing of a different cookbook each month may be a fun alternate.

Another thing that's not so much a resolution as it is something I just do - I try to make sure I've seen all of the Best Picture nominees by the time the Oscar broadcast rolls around. .....Although if it sounds like one of the movies is something that you'd hate, no shame in skipping it (I've done that every year, heh).

I like the idea of fun resolutions. It's trying to waken one's inner Auntie Mame.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:43 AM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

Oh, I keep forgetting to add:

I was toying with going to a friend's place tonight, but took a closer look at the group invite, and it isn't an invite to their own house - it's an invite to join them in attending someone else's party. With the host's blessing, fortunately, but I'm still not comfortable with that (they're a group of people who all live in a very different neighborhood and all see each other regularly, and I'm my friends' weird Brooklyn friend who'd be hauling ass uptown to be a 28th wheel in the house of someone I don't really know, basically). Then I considered just going to Best Bar In The World so I can say I did something - then realized that that was the only reason I'd be going out, was so that I could say I did something.

So instead, I am going to gather all the ingredients for a slow-cooker recipe I have for a cassoulet, get that going in time that I am getting ready to dine at 11:30, in time to toast the new year with some wine and a bubble bath and then I'm going to sleep.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:01 AM on December 31, 2018 [10 favorites]

EmpressCallipygos—I’m making an enormous pot of beef/barley/veggie soup this afternoon and will be spending the evening enjoying it while reading a book. Snuggling and playing with my lovely cat, Phoebe, will also happen. I’ll probably be asleep by 11 pm.
My New Year’s Eves have gotten progressively better once I stopped thinking that I had to go out and have an “experience” !

Happy, happy New Year to all, however you choose to celebrate it. May we all have a better 2019.
posted by bookmammal at 9:27 AM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

Yup, just got dumped. Dumped by text on New Year’s Eve.

Have I said ‘Fuck you, 2018’? Because fuck you, 2018. Fuck yooooooooooou.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:28 AM on December 31, 2018 [21 favorites]

That sucks! But now you can start 2019 without that uncertainty? Here's to better things!

tzikeh: I will turn 50 in 2019. My resolution is to run the Chicago Marathon (October 13, 2019).

I'm spiritually with you on this goal. I talked to a friend about running this summer, when I mentioned this goal for myself, and he talked about working with running trainers and mentors, but also shared some good advice: you don't have to run the whole thing. Just being able to complete a marathon is an achievement in itself.

I haven't started walking much, and I think I've gained wait since sharing this goal with others, and it's really cold (and icy!) outside now, so starting on the path to a marathon now sounds extra unpleasant.

tzikeh, you can do it! I can do it! We can do it!

My more cynical thoughts on New Years Resolutions is why wait for new years? If you see something you want to change, start making changes! And then I look around and see how messy I am, and how I want to be less messy, so I'll set another resolution, here and now: be less messy. Borrowing kristi's easy, harder, and hardest goal-setting idea, my first goal is to reduce the clutter and messes I make; harder goal is to organize all the physical things; hardest is to organize all the digital things, too. Thanks for the idea, kristi!
posted by filthy light thief at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

I have never been a huge fan of New Year's Eve parties (the pressure to have a good time!) nor of resolutions. So I no longer make resolutions but like some others here, I ponder if there are intentions I would like to set. There is only one actual intention I have now, which is to stay out of the political megathread for the month of January. I have commented elsewhere on the value I think it has brought me and brings others, but I have spent way more time in that thread than is healthy for me.

I do have hopes for the new year. Since I cannot control anyone else's behaviour and often cannot control my own (thank you, ADHD), my hopes are fairly modest and all personal. I hope to work toward taking better care of myself more consistently when it comes to nutritious food, moving my body, and getting enough sleep.

In addition, I hope to outfox my self-defeating thoughts so I can spend more time with the family I moved to be near. This thinking tends to run like this (it is my ADHD brain giving me shitty information): "I have not met all my deadlines for my client and also failed to be a perfect human being, thus I am not allowed to go hang out with my grandkids or chill with my daughter because I must stew in my own miserable juices until I wake up a new, improved, does-not-actually-exist-in-reality person."

I was able to short-circuit that thinking last night and agreed to go with my kid and her children to this huge indoor play space for a couple of hours this morning and it was fun. When I got home, I made myself lunch and then I knocked out a short article for my client in 1 hour, 1 minute, and assorted seconds (according to Toggl). Apparently allowing myself to actually have a good time and to be a grandmother (as well as other things) does not detract from my productivity. Hell, it may even improve it. I hope to find out more about that in the coming year.

Also, I am super excited that in the process of going to visit my ill dad, I will spend a bit of time in both Denver and Pittsburgh in February/March. I hope to meet local MeFites then, which would be fabulous.

It is 6:30 pm here. There are fireworks already. I am going to eat a small bag of chips, drink a beer, and then, after the grandchildren are asleep, amble over to my kid's place to play a round or two of New Year's Eve Yatzy. I am one lucky woman. Thank you MeFites and mods for creating the community that means so much to me.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2018 [11 favorites]

Hey I got dumped on Christmas Eve a few years back, after moving to a town where I knew almost nobody two days before, and I got to spend Christmas and New years completely alone, and heartbroken, with no furniture to boot. So I feel ya Capt. Renault. I feel ya. One thing that helped was finding a Chinese/thai place that made amazing spicy peanut satay with noodles. That and a bottle of scotch.

I think that was when I changed my metafilter status to "embittered"
posted by some loser at 9:39 AM on December 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

Survive. This question has brought home to me how very tired I am, because I remember what it felt like to have an interest in New Year's resolutions and it required so much more energy than I have now, an emotional briskness that I entirely lack. 2018 tried to kill me and realistically I'm not expecting any better from 2109. In the next few months I'll get divorced, have surgery, and (hopefully) start a new job (and if not, that's another problem). Even apart from those issues, I've got lots of ongoing health problems and other practical difficulties that make my days exhausting. I'm going to give myself full marks just for surviving it and not expect any more of myself.
posted by HotToddy at 9:43 AM on December 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

For 2019 I will continue to keep going. One day after another. All I have to do is "do the next thing".

After finally deciding that I'm an adult (took 50+ years) I buy one very nice wall calendar for myself. I will sit down and transfer all of the birthdays, anniversaries and such stuff to the new year; and, so it begins. ...

The act of putting away the old year and hanging up the brand new year allows me to let go of all the should haves and didn't dos and self chastising that's accumulated in the old year.
posted by mightshould at 9:52 AM on December 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

I spent last NYE with a vicious stomach flu so I was self-quarantined away from the guy I'd get to kiss. This NYE? No guy. So I'm back to my own tradition, which is to stay home in my comfiest, warmest PJs, livestream a concert, hoist a glass or two in my own honor, and Skype/text with my other homebody friends. I always stay up past midnight because I'm a nightowl anyway, but NYE became so much more pleasant for me personally once I gave up on the idea that I must! go! out! and! be! sparkly!

I'm leery of resolutions, but a few years ago I vowed to quit sodas and backslid on that this year, so I'm going to try it again. And in the spirit of ending the year with good momentum, I went to yoga classes for the first time in 8 months and went to a gym class for the first time in about 3 months all in the last three days. Geting back on a regular exercise schedule is another goal for the year. And I think I finally want to seriously look into therapy, instead of just idly wondering about it.

Happy new year's, all!
posted by TwoStride at 10:07 AM on December 31, 2018 [5 favorites]

Just got home from the funeral of a church friend to learn that my car needs $800 of “routine” maintenance. Ugh.

On the plus side, my daughter, who’s learning to drive, drove all the way from Baltimore to South Jersey this past Saturday, and all the way back, too. She did a great job! Interstate 95 is no picnic.

Neighbors are hosting an open house tonight. It starts at 7:00. If I’m lucky, I’ll make it until 9:00 and be long asleep when the ball drops. Tomorrow I get to start my new year the fun way, by shredding old bills and opening up space in my file cabinet! (Hey, I’m not weird, YOU’RE weird!)

My intention (I like that phrasing) for 2019 is to more kind and compassionate to as many people as I can. I’ll carve out an exception for certain Republican politicians, of course.
posted by cheapskatebay at 10:56 AM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

Soup party at the Bartfasts’ new house tonight! 3 different homemade soups simmering on the stove and bread from the best damn bakery in town. Kids playing Super Smash Bros in the basement and adults complaining and playing old time string music in the living room. Views of the Space Needle Fireworks at midnight and as per usual omelettes as we ring in 2019. Bring booze as I am not drinking and cannot be trusted to have any in the house.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:05 AM on December 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

My New Year’s Eves have gotten progressively better once I stopped thinking that I had to go out and have an “experience” !

One of the best New Year's Eve's I had was in 2012, when I helped a pair of friends (who still lived in Brooklyn then) break in their new rental property in Moab, Utah. I'd just gotten a new cookbook that Christmas, so I made us all dinner, we turned on the TV to watch the ball drop in Times Square - and because we were on Mountain Time, it dropped at 10 pm, so we popped the champagne then, all had one glass each and were in bed by 10:30.

posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:45 AM on December 31, 2018 [5 favorites]

I decided in 2018 to keep track of the books I read. I also notated whether they were fiction, non-fiction, or graphic novel. Favorite books were noted with an asterix. My year end total came to 261 books read in 2018. On an unrelated note I’m really fucking tired and my brain hurts.
posted by triage_lazarus at 11:49 AM on December 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

I am starting a new job on 2 January -have escaped my awful boss at my old job. I moved house for the new job just before Christmas, and have a terminally ill estranged parent so it's all pretty stressful at the minute, but fingers crossed the new job is the start of a new better future.
posted by ElasticParrot at 1:15 PM on December 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

My last year's resolutions from the 2018 thread were My resolution for this year is, broadly, to do the things that scare me. This includes getting a job as an EMT, recommitting to roller derby and exercise in general, becoming more politically active, being better about keeping in touch with family and friends, etc. I guess all of those things mean getting my social anxiety in check.

I did most of these things, though I don't really feel like my social anxiety is in check. They scared me but I did them anyway, which is cool, I guess.

My 2019 goal is to improve my tidiness habits and to bake a pie a week. I have the Hoosier Mama Book of Pie, so I may just work my way through it and branch out from ther.
posted by coppermoss at 1:21 PM on December 31, 2018 [6 favorites]

My year ends after Halloween and doesn't start until mid-January. The cold dark of the year has too many family tradition type holidays for my taste. Plus my birthday thrown in there. The whole season is a pit of despair for a couple of months. If I were a bear, I'd hibernate. Not a good time for resolutions.
posted by zengargoyle at 1:36 PM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

My year end total came to 261 books read in 2018

This is insane! I just squeaked under the wire, finishing a giant tome yesterday that brought my 2018 total up to... 5? But 2 of those were pretty gigantic affairs -- The Chemistry and Lore of the Kitchen was dry as a bone & about 700 pages of reference material, but I pushed though. Augustine of Hippo: A Biography was not as dry, but took so much googling of Greek authors, African place-names, etc to keep up with it all, I spent half my time reading the book & half my time researching material in the book so I could understand it. I need some light reading for 2109 -- unfortunately, it looks like I'm starting off with a Dreamweaver CC manual & some CSS design books, so maybe I'll hit 6 books next year?? Sheesh.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:41 PM on December 31, 2018 [5 favorites]

Dr Bored for Science and I are doing what we do occasionally for NYE: Tasty Russian Things! Which means Salad Olivier and buckwheat blini with salmon roe. Followed by a very silly movie. Which is basically Dr Bored for Science's family NYE tradition, without the requirement to watch incomprehensible Soviet movies.

One year, we watched Кин-дза-дза!, which is now my benchmark for terrible movies. Which might be why she was willing to watch the 1984 Dune adaptation with me a couple years later.

The plan for this year is Neko Zamurai, because we've been told by a bunch of friends that we'd love it and laugh ourselves silly, and I finally found a copy and subtitles!
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 2:07 PM on December 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

Okay, so I finally figured out a few things that are doable and completely under my control, so:

1. Working demo of a programming side project out there in the world. (I just have to decide on what to do now, ugh.)
2. Get to the point where I can have a simple casual conversation in Spanish.

I want to keep working on fitness stuff, but decided that's all too fuzzy in the way of goals right now because of health issues to feel like that goal's fully within my control. These two things, I can do, and the first one should probably go a long way towards my real wish for 2019, which is a new job.
posted by Sequence at 2:29 PM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

It is roughly 1 am here in Stockholm and the fireworks have lost some steam but are still going on. I had my ass kicked twice by my kid when we played Yatzy with the kid's husband and her dad. It was fun, with snacks and some kind of blackberry-based cocktail that the kid invented tonight. Then my grandson woke up because of all of the fireworks and kept saying, "I want it to stop now" because he was afraid. I understand the feeling. Still, I am having a good night. MeFites encouraged me to move here, in response to an AskMe, and I am glad I did. Hugs to everyone having a harder New Year's Eve. I hope tomorrow will be better.
posted by Bella Donna at 4:11 PM on December 31, 2018 [8 favorites]

I spend NY's watching grandson, then move on to being a cushion for an 85 pound dog who is terrified of fireworks. Last NY I was injured in a fall and I was still the cushion for the 85 pound dog. So my temporary resolution is to get him to stay by the couch, rather than on me, on it.
posted by Oyéah at 4:12 PM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

This is my first New Years in Munich and even though I was told what to expect it was so crazy. People are allowed to just shoot off fireworks everywhere! People down every street and on every corner setting off mortars and cakes and all the good stuff. I’ve never lived somewhere you could shoot fireworks in the city. It seems horribly dangerous but quite the spectacle!
posted by LizBoBiz at 4:16 PM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

My partner blogged about making and keeping resolutions: Resolutions? Dream on. (Their whole blog is wise.)
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:47 PM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

I had a very rural Australia New Year's eve. I got to hang out with three nephews, which was awesome (much wooden train track was laid) and then it was a farm BBQ and spotlighting. I acquired a gun license several years ago, and the reason was 'hunting' however I've never killed anything until last night. We went rabbit hunting- they are definitely vermin here. Rang in the new year listening to the truck radio, no fireworks for the first time in a very very long time, perhaps ever.

For a girl with vaguely hippy interests and friends, this rural life has meant lots of changes and navigation of my own personal ethics.

I don't really do resolutions, but I have some desires or intentions for 2019. We have to set goals at work so I'll be doing those soon, but for now I'm on holidays.

I want to travel overseas again.
I want to get back to composting.
I want to stress less at work.
I want to get stuff done- meet deadlines.
I want to work on my kayak!
posted by freethefeet at 4:56 PM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

Today was my last official day in my current job! I will still be covering the job until my replacement's fully in place, which is fine, but I also get to start doing new job, which is exciting. We were SUPER short-staffed last week, as is to be expected, and my boss was out, but I actually enjoyed the week despite some degree of chaos; my boss came back today and within 15 minutes I was wanting to strangle someone. I have no idea how she annoys me so fucking much but I am SO GLAD I'm on my way upward and onward.

So, to celebrate new jobs and new years and better attitudes, I am drinking a French 75 and listening to Pandora's Brandi Carlile station (which is really good) on my Christmas-gift Sonos speaker, and I've prepped dinner: shrimp cocktail with many shrimp (the seafood lady gave me extra from what I ordered), romensco broccoli and teeny baby potatoes to be roasted, a red and gold beet roasted and cooling to be sliced into a salad with arugula, blue cheese (which the cheese gentleman gave me for free because it wasn't labeled -- I think it's gorgonzola piccante), roasted hazelnuts, and a homemade Buddha's hand citron vinaigrette (which is already made). I stopped at Whole Foods on the way home and picked up little tiny tarts/pies: One lemon, one key lime, one raspberry cheesecake.

The cats and I shall celebrate U.S. East Coast new year's, which will happen at 9pm our time, and if I don't make it till then, well, it's already 2019 somewhere so I'm counting myself festive.
posted by lazuli at 6:15 PM on December 31, 2018 [6 favorites]

Also I read this and think it should be shared widely: For The Mentally Ill Folks Who Didn’t Think They’d Make It This Year [content warning for suicidal ideation]

But you’re here. Holy shit. You’re still here. And of all the jobs you have, staying alive is the most important one. You had the guts and resilience it took to survive this year. That was you.

Hugs to all and I'm very, very, very glad you're here.
posted by lazuli at 6:18 PM on December 31, 2018 [10 favorites]

lazuli, that sounds delicious. I'm jealous.

I just made some veggie chili, and I have a Meyer lemon "Roman breakfast cake" (it sorta looks like angel food, but with the yolks in it too) in the oven. I just popped open a bottle of Cava I had hanging out. My plan of burning things outside is getting wintry-mixed out, so cake and bubbles and watching happy people count down on TV will have to do. It doesn't feel as bad as I was dreading, tbh. That's a relief.

We are almost done with 2018! Woo!
posted by Fig at 7:12 PM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

I feel like 2018 was a good year in terms of resolution-type things. I started a new job in Jan 2018 and I've done well with it. My increased income plus a YNAB subscription have put me in the most stable financial position I've ever been in. I've been regularly running, climbing and practicing spanish. I've built a relationship with my brother after we sort of fell out of touch in adulthood. I took several pretty amazing vacations. I meal prepped a lot. My apartment is clean.

On the other hand, I've been thinking a lot lately about my fascination with self-improvement and my desire to track and/or gamify the number of days I exercise, every cent I spend, the food I put in my body, the recipes I make, the way I tidy my living room... I'm trying to decide if I'm in a better place for all of it. I may well be if my body is strong, my finances are in order and my mind is occupied, but there's something that feels a little disordered and frantic about it.

For 2019, I have four new resolutions (they were really birthday resolutions except for the last one, but my birthday happened recently).

1. Build more one-on-one close friendships from my friend and aquaintance circle, primarily by taking the initiative to invite people to do things with me.
2. Find a place to volunteer-- a couple things have fallen through. I'm going to contact a nearby greenhouse next week and see if I can get involved taking care of the plants.
3. Find a therapist and try out therapy.
4. A couple diet ones... eat much less meat (avoid making it at home completely) and-- this is a crazy one that may fail miserably-- not eat any added sugar (outside of that which naturally occurs in fruit, etc) during the month of January :o.
posted by geegollygosh at 7:14 PM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

lazuli, that sounds delicious. I'm jealous.

Yeah... so.... my cat is an asshole, though he's cute, and he just ate about 90% of the sliced beets. I think I have three half-slices of golden beet and two of red beet. I'll fill in with arugula, and it'll be lovely, but I'm a little concerned for his digestive health.
posted by lazuli at 7:15 PM on December 31, 2018 [1 favorite]

Haha, oh no! Just an FYI, beets color animal output just like it does human's. (I fed my dogs some beets and they're pee pad trained, and I was V concerned for a short amount of time)
posted by Fig at 7:26 PM on December 31, 2018 [1 favorite]

Lazuli, you probably know this intellectually, but just reminding you for tomorrow: the reason the litterbox is that bright red is because of the beets and not internal bleeding.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:27 PM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

Yeah! So the funny thing is that this is round two of cat-eaten beets, because I bought two beets a few days ago and woke up to find the plastic bags and the beets gnawed through, and bits of beet all over my kitchen floor, and I've been cleaning up pooped-out bits of beet-stained plastic bag for the last few days, and I have to keep reminding myself that the red is really not blood. I don't know why I got cavalier about guarding the cooked beets... Silly cat. He's currently put himself on a time-out and is sitting staring at the corner of the couch. I'm trying to fortify myself for whatever litterbox horrors are to come.
posted by lazuli at 7:33 PM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

We have watched Cat Samurai, which is an exceptionally silly (and really rather sweet) movie.
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 8:01 PM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

I like to remember all my past New Year's Eves on NYE. This has to be common on a repeating day like today. I just heard fireworks at midnight and remembered my first NYE memory: I was about three, on the second-story porch in the house where I grew up, the porch that would later be converted into my brother's bedroom. We were able to see the fireworks from our vantage point. I don't know if they happened early or if my parents woke me for them. I was very small. And I remember partying with my best boyfriend at 24, making short ribs in a big orange pot that he bought me that I still own and will probably own for the rest of my life. I'll never see him again but I have seen that pan he bought me nearly every day of my life since he gave it to me that NYE. And I remember last year, weighted under my cat, who I will also never see again, on the couch together, a heated blanket between us. She was the best.

In 2018 I started meditating and going to the gym regularly. It took me 35 years to decide to try to live in my body. That's been good.

I'm glad for this place and thankful we are here.
posted by sockermom at 9:10 PM on December 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

Good job on that living in your body effort, Sockermom. It is worth it being at home in your primary residence, all systems go better, you can feel your smiles. A toast!
posted by Oyéah at 9:23 PM on December 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

Whole Foods individual tart/pie report: Buy them. Key lime was the best, though the buttercream on top was a bit aggressive; lemon was wonderful; raspberry cheesecake was good and suffered only in comparison.
posted by lazuli at 9:35 PM on December 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

Cat Samurai?!? That has bumped Die Hard 2 off tonight’s movie night. Oh thank you for mentioning it, Making You Bored For Science, if only to watch mr. lemon_icing’s eyebrow climb onto his forehead.
posted by lemon_icing at 9:41 PM on December 31, 2018 [1 favorite]

last year, not on new year's, towards the spring, I had a gentle little existential crisis which I responded to by making some resolutions plus generally taking stock of myself.

I am particularly happy with my decision to start participating in r/sketchdaily. My streak is now approaching 300. The constant feeling of sadness and jealousy I felt looking at other people Doing Art is gone, replaced by a lot of satisfaction looking at my little gallery of uploaded works. My writing projects fell through, but I read a LOT more about writing (particularly the lovely, gentle, comforting wrex-writes) and a lot of new authors that expanded my definition of what was possible, and I feel like this is the year for progress on that front. (esce

A few of the interpersonal problems, once confronted, faded away to be much less pressing, such that looking back at the notes I took at the time I'm like "oh right... I vaguely remember that being an issue for me..."

I did exercise more... for a while. but running became difficult once pregnant so I'm trying to find a routine I can do with the kid, now. i want to continue improving taking care of myself on the health and hygiene front, like finding what works for me skincare-wise and being better about flossing.

Continuing to try to find what makes me feel grounded, present, calm. Got useful suggestions in the AskMe but haven't figured out how to make it part of my daily routine in a way that feels right.

This year, I already know in advance, is gonna be a... rollercoaster. Lots of really huge changes coming up-- location, career, family. Gotta ride it out. Will be interesting to look back a year from now and see where I am. maybe when it's all settled down in, oh, december, I'll have the mental space for a thorough stock-taking...
posted by Cozybee at 1:55 AM on January 1, 2019 [5 favorites]

Completely off the cuff, but like... It occurs to me that I think I might take up digital landscape art; I have an unused account in one of the art-focused instances of Mastodon and I'm tired of drawing people.

I can have resolution-like things, but I don't, as a rule, make them at New Year's. It's hard to properly weigh my priorities more often than sometimes -- I don't really have an attuned internal compass for that. I would be lying if I said I didn't have things I wanted to do with more reliability and consistency, though.
posted by redrawturtle at 3:17 AM on January 2, 2019 [1 favorite]

Correction: there are things I've resolved to do for such a long time that they didn't register as resolutions to me. The time frame isn't quite... Oh, never mind.

I won't talk about my writing stuff because I think I've done quite enough of that, but if I were to make some resolutions in the spirit of things, the following might make it on the list:
- Spending more time in the kitchen preparing food for the sake of it,
- Slowing down my intake of information so that I am understanding it rather than using it as an ideal distraction,
- (??? Stuff I'm not comfortable talking about,)
- Being more present.
posted by redrawturtle at 4:37 AM on January 2, 2019 [1 favorite]

Yay I've already made progress towards some of my resolutions and found ways to do even more!

* New York City had a whole bunch of ranger-led hikes in the city parks on January 1st; I went to one, and brought my new camera, thus taking care of both "hike once a month" and "take at least 5 photos each week". I think the fact that I took about 30 photos means I'll have no trouble with the five-a-week quota. ....the blisters on the bottoms of my pinky toes, however, suggest that I need to work on the hiking a little.

* I was looking into some of the lunch-on-the-weekend options and realized: I have a membership in BAM, which gives me a 10% discount at a bunch of restaurants in my area. I think that's my list right there.

* I've also found a dude who leads guided photo walks around the natural-world parts of city on a regular basis for only about ten bucks a pop; I signed up for one he's leading at Coney Island on the 19th of this month.

This all seems promising.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:29 AM on January 2, 2019 [3 favorites]

I've never been mean to the January gym newbies, since I never liked when my former employers at a church were passive-aggressive about people who only attended on Christmas and Easter. It's like, I get what you're saying, but way to be welcoming. Sheesh.

Also, they keep the place open financially, vs. the chubby middle-aged couple who keeps coming back every week on the same cheap membership *waves*

My social situation has changed vs. previous years, so I was at home playing Dragon Age: Inquisition on NYE. Adaar mage for this playthrough, romanced Dorian which seems redundant vs the default matchups, but too bad. No regrets in choice of activity or in shipping preferences.
posted by cage and aquarium at 6:44 AM on January 2, 2019 [2 favorites]

NYE was nice and relaxing - ordered in deep dish pizza and slices of cake and watched movies on Netflix.

As for my 2019, here's what I got:

I'm hoping for opportunities to become more exhausted in 2019.

I want to by physically tired after seeing what my body can accomplish. I've accumulated aches and pains over the last few years and since they likely won't be doing away, I might as well get the most out of this animated carcass while I can.

I want to be emotionally tired by working for the things I want to see in this world. This hardened heart of mine needs to soften. I need to let the tears flow.

I want to be socially tired. As much as it can wear me down, I want to spend more time with loved ones. I want to host gatherings and have conversations deeper than the usual small talk.

I want to be spiritually tired by exploring how my life does or does not align with my values. I want to cultivate spiritual practices that mean something to me.

I want to be creatively tired - learning new skills and improving on the skills I have. I want to write more, play more, learn more, question more.

I want your 2019 to present you with the opportunities you desire the most.
posted by Twicketface at 1:59 PM on January 2, 2019 [3 favorites]

My mantra for this year is FEEL THE GOODS which means a few things.

1. Try to feel good, I know it's hard but try, sometimes that works for you (longer explanation about working on physical/mental health and generally getting out in the air, the woods, etc)

2. Do not suffer bullshit. Make sure what you're getting (or reacting to) isn't bullshit. Don't put up with other people's nonsense longer than you have to (but this is for randos, treasure your friends and help them appropriately manage their own bullshit as they have helped you manage your own - longer explanation is make sure what you're getting is what you think it is)

3. More pants-off time with my favorite pants-off guy. (needs no explanation)
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:51 PM on January 2, 2019 [7 favorites]

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