Political Humorizing Thread March 19, 2019 12:31 PM   Subscribe

I saw this cartoon today and needed a place for it. Laughing at politicians, as opposed to laughing with them, is a much needed function of democracy; I mean, really we can't all hang out at the bank, all the time. Any way, Pat Bagley does it again!
posted by Oyéah to MetaFilter-Related at 12:31 PM (123 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

Since the previous one closed, this is a good time for a new thread for politics jokes, riffing, song lyrics and other creative artistic responses.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:32 PM on March 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

Tom Toles had a good one
posted by gwint at 12:46 PM on March 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

We're sorry. The Salt Lake Tribune's web site, sltrib.com, is unavailable in the European Union

Oh well, at least Brexit will fix something!
posted by EndsOfInvention at 1:46 PM on March 19, 2019 [12 favorites]

Eli Valley spearing Ben Shapiro isn't very funny, but it's spot-on.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:52 PM on March 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

Clay Jones is a friend, or at least an acquaintance, and he has been killing it lately. He writes really great blog posts to accompany each cartoon too.
posted by COD at 6:31 PM on March 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

NYMag has a quiz: Who Wrote It: Beto O'Rourke or Karl Ove Knausgaard? (I barely managed to do better than 50%.)
posted by Doktor Zed at 6:44 PM on March 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

The most subtle political cartoon so far this week (and if you can achieve subtlety these days, you are doing something!)
Jeff Danziger: "Are Biker Gangs And The Police For Trump?"
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:57 PM on March 19, 2019

Well, here's my first Trump in quite some time, he seems to be even more unhinged and full of hate than usual, which is quite something when you think about it.
Warning: The image is quite nasty.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 7:10 PM on March 19, 2019 [14 favorites]

David Rowe is the best political cartoonist working today, IMO.
posted by h00py at 8:11 PM on March 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

Q: Why did Trump cross the road?
A: Who cares, as long as he's gone, fuck that guy.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:45 PM on March 19, 2019 [17 favorites]

Boss Tweet
posted by kirkaracha at 9:29 PM on March 19, 2019 [6 favorites]

We'll be back
We're sorry. The Salt Lake Tribune's web site, sltrib.com, is unavailable in the European Union. We are working with lawyers on compliance with the European Union's General Data Protection Requirements, and we expect to sltrib.com to be available once that is done. Thank you for your patience.
posted by koolkat at 1:17 AM on March 20, 2019

We're sorry. The Salt Lake Tribune's web site, sltrib.com, is unavailable in the European Union.

Apparently the Netherlands have already left the EU, without the ruckus that the British invoked.
posted by Stoneshop at 3:17 AM on March 20, 2019

@COD, I've been a fan of Clay Bennett for some time now. Glad to see him on this site, he's a sharp and critical mind when it comes to politics/society/culture.
posted by Fizz at 5:22 AM on March 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

Ugh and just realizing you wrote Clay Jones and not Bennett, haha. Well, here's a good a place as any to plug Clay Bennett.
posted by Fizz at 5:23 AM on March 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

This one's a bit of a throwback, perhaps, but when my toddler kept picking at her dinner last night, I said "Call me Nikita Khrushchev during the era of de-Stalinization, 'cause I just want to know WHAT'S WITH ALL THE STALLIN'?"
posted by duffell at 6:14 AM on March 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

Everyone give Devin Nunes’ cow @DevinCow a follow on Twitter. And watch this Fox News clip until the end. Funniest thing you'll see today.
posted by Otis at 9:01 AM on March 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

He likes fast fire trucks, fast 6G internet, and fast banks.

Fast food, and above all playing fast and loose with the truth.
posted by Stoneshop at 10:03 AM on March 20, 2019

Trump is becoming so unhinged it's a wonder all his doors haven't fallen off.
posted by Marticus at 5:10 PM on March 20, 2019 [4 favorites]

Can we just have an open thread to argue about Sanders for the next year? My body is ready!
posted by Selena777 at 6:10 PM on March 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

There are other ways to feel the burn. Like when no one can decide who to run for the Democrats, and the country just goes on complaining about burned steak and ketchup, four more years, then we stock up on fancy uniforms, that become all the rage.
posted by Oyéah at 6:28 PM on March 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

Not humor, but something I just came across from the alternate timeline that pokes its head in every now and then (2008):
"[Hillary] and John McCain are very close," [Bill] Clinton said. "They always laugh that if they wound up being the nominees of their party, it would be the most civilized election in American history, and they're afraid they'd put the voters to sleep because they like and respect each other."
posted by sylvanshine at 7:12 PM on March 20, 2019 [6 favorites]

Tempted to rewrite lyrics to "Benny and the Jets" making it about "Bernie and the Dems".
posted by ZeusHumms at 7:48 AM on March 21, 2019 [2 favorites]

Therapist: What brings you here?

Me: [....]
posted by Rumple at 12:59 PM on March 21, 2019 [3 favorites]

Trump is becoming so unhinged it's a wonder all his doors haven't fallen off.

This morning, while staring into her coffee as she heard coverage of the kerfuffle from NPR, SO said:

"Y'know, I had a boss like him once. HR eventually had to be called in."
posted by eclectist at 1:20 PM on March 21, 2019 [4 favorites]

Someone needs to start a “John McCain’s Ghost” Twitter account, and see if they can get Trump believing he’s being Tweet-stormed from the grave.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:05 PM on March 21, 2019 [10 favorites]

Considering he's mad he didn't get thanks from McCain for his funeral arrangements, that might not be an unlikely outcome.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:28 PM on March 21, 2019

> Tempted to rewrite lyrics to "Benny and the Jets" making it about "Bernie and the Dems".

In light of (or to make light of) recent news about his DSA endorsement and the establishment's response:

Hey kids, still Stronger Together
The party's not worth something
When support is just fair-weather
Who'll vote the MAGAs out? You might
So stick around
You're gonna make election news if
All us stand our ground

Say, can you ask Romney if he's seen them yet?
Ooh, 'cause we're so spread out
B-B-B-B-B-Bernie and the Dems
"Oh, but they're real Independent votes"
"No, Bernie, he's really (D)"
He's got the leftist moves
We won't recruit
But staying home would border on insane
B-B-B-Bernie Sanders' mess

posted by Arson Lupine at 10:44 AM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]

If he likes Kim Jong Un so much, he should go and live with him.
posted by Selena777 at 11:24 AM on March 22, 2019

If he likes Kim Jong Un so much, he should go and live with him.

Is that a fresh sitcom pitch script I smell?

Can you imagine the wacky roommate hijinks?

"Oh, yeah, here's where we counterfeit Benjamins and cook meth to fund our nuclear program that we canceled! Anyway, wanna shoot some skeet over the DMZ or launch a test rocket at the Sea of Japan? McDonald's? Of course we don't have a McDonald's, I have a personal chef. What the hell's wrong with you?"
posted by loquacious at 11:58 AM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]

'The Oddest Couple'
posted by Selena777 at 3:46 PM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]

I kinda sorta wanna know what everyone thinks about the Mueller findings. But everyone, then again I don't want my head to explode. If it walks like a crook, talks like a crook, hires numerous crooks, is legally represented by a crook, political campaign run by a crook, knows they are all crooks because of in common criminal activity, requested criminal activities, (payoffs, coverups,) then connect the dots and you have Moses and the Ten Commandments, well, yeah we then have the current situation.
posted by Oyéah at 6:15 PM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]

Muellermas: That slightly pinched look kids get when they look under the tree and none of the presents seem large enough to be that thing they were secretly wishing for...
posted by chortly at 7:14 PM on March 22, 2019 [7 favorites]

As Marvin the Martian from Looney Tunes often says,
"Where’s the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-Shattering Kaboom!"
which is a noteworthy trope.
posted by ZeusHumms at 7:47 PM on March 22, 2019 [4 favorites]

Josh Campbell:
After 22 long months of service to the nation, Robert Mueller is probably now going to let loose and sleep in until 5:30am.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 8:03 PM on March 22, 2019 [9 favorites]

Dr. Mueller's Oh! the Things...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:07 PM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]

I'm imagining Mueller going on vacation and it going exactly like Captain Holt's small vacay at the beginning of this season of Brooklyn 99.

Also, every single thing I learn about Operation Yellowhammer, the more I hear "Hello, good evening, and remain indoors." How on Earth did Mitchell and Webb predict Brexit (uh, The Event) a decade ago?
posted by BungaDunga at 8:07 PM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]

For anyone in the need of a good frothing rant, here's Jonathan Pie shouting about how the UK got to Brexit (I have a friend who enjoys sending me clips of commentators getting purple-faced about politics in general).
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:35 PM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]

"That's how populism works: it masks political failure by blaming others"

dang that's jenius.
posted by petebest at 9:17 PM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]

(Muellermas 2)

Listen to me. The trees in the White House were all green when I got here. They were all green as recently as Monday. But the trees have turned.

Walk faster.

Don’t be afraid. The trees would smell it...

Outside the White House you will hear the great murmuring, the women in their hats, crying, “Mueller shall deliver us.” The litany goes up. The supplication echoes. “Mueller is coming to change everything. Everything will be Revealed. Nothing will be suffered to be hidden. The trees will crackle and burn in his magnifying glass’s purifying flame.”

Do not listen to the forest, which whispers that in the end he is only a man telling people what they already know...

You must count the trees carefully. The 11th tree is a Mistake. Do not look at it. Do not let it enter your imagination.

If your eyes alight upon the tree, transported, you will stumble upon the Mueller indictments in a clearing, cold and still. But it is not their time! At your footstep they will unseal, scream and become dust before your eyes. Then it will be only stillness. You will be alone in the forest, and no one will come for you.

posted by chortly at 9:33 PM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]

Matt Yglesias: From a utilitarian perspective “we found no evidence of collusion or an illegal conspiracy but the pee tape is extremely real” would be the most broadly crowd-pleasing outcome.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 9:50 PM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]

"That's how populism works: it masks political failure by blaming others"

dang that's jenius.

The sentence that caught my ear was, "This would never happen in a country with reasonably functioning institutions with the well-being of its citizens at heart."

Is there a country truly like that on this planet?? 🤔
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:35 PM on March 22, 2019 [4 favorites]

Dunno but in Stockholm if you have to pay for a cab to get to your destination because the bus was an hour late, you can get reimbursed. Also, you automatically get money damages if you are arrested and later released because you appear to be innocent rather than someone refusing to apologize and yelling something like, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." Sweden has plenty (plenty) of problems, including the rise of white nationalists, yadda yadda. But I can afford to get medical help and medication, while my kid will be able to afford college. So I am going to call that a win.

Still, I miss the US so much some days I can barely breathe, and Sweden is at the bottom of the list of "most friendly nations for expats" so yeah, far from perfect and there are conservatives here who are working hard to turn the country into a mini US in all the worst ways. Sigh.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:31 AM on March 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

The Orlando Sentinel’s Jeff Weiner:
MUELLER: [hands over giant stack of papers]

BARR: "Wait, why is this titled... THE WINDS OF WINTER?"

MUELLER: [peels off face, revealing himself to be GEORGE R.R. MARTIN] "A man is finished."

INTERNET: [explodes]
posted by Doktor Zed at 1:21 PM on March 23, 2019 [11 favorites]

I just found out that there was once a Tory Prime Minister in the UK named Bonar Law.

That's all.
posted by duffell at 5:03 PM on March 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

Is there a country truly like that on this planet??

posted by Stoneshop at 1:10 AM on March 24, 2019

CNN’s Kaitlan Collins: “President Trump is surrounded by more staff than normal in Palm Beach this weekend.

You need a lot of manpower to condense Mueller's report into five sheets with at most three bullet points max per, the appropriate clip art and using only the 500 words mandated by XKCD
posted by Stoneshop at 1:22 AM on March 24, 2019 [2 favorites]

This week silly #FloridaMan challenge was invented by a Tumblr user named gandalfsoda and promptly went viral. It's basically just searching up “Florida man” and a birthday. This is not Finnegans Wake.
posted by growabrain at 1:08 PM on March 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

As seen at a march, A Brexit Haiku.
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:51 PM on March 24, 2019 [2 favorites]

I thought a limerick would be closer to 'apt'.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:01 PM on March 24, 2019

It looks like there's still time to get a Robert Mueller 5 Day Devotional Candle with Rhinestones:
Finally, Barr indicates that more material from Mueller’s report is forthcoming, writing that his office is at work identifying information protected by Federal Rule of Criminal Procedure 6(e)—which protects material obtained before a grand jury from public disclosure—and “information that could impact other ongoing matters.” After that, Barr writes, he “will be in a position to move forward expeditiously in determining what can be released.”

So the good news is that there is more information on the way—though it is unclear how much more or when it will appear.
posted by Little Dawn at 9:46 PM on March 24, 2019

I wonder if Donald Trump can even spell any of the legal terms that mean he's innocent.
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:26 AM on March 25, 2019

Which Brexit Plan Are You? (Alex Wickham, Buzzfeed)

The answer may surprise you.
You got: Norway Plus

You see yourself as a unifying figure who seeks compromise and a balanced, reasonable outcome which can bring people together. And you're ready to tell anyone who can't see it just how wrong they are on Twitter. While you may have once said being in the single market without being a full member of the EU was the "worst of all worlds", you now believe we must "seize the opportunity". You love a pamphlet.
I am surprised.
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:45 AM on March 26, 2019 [1 favorite]

posted by Oyéah at 8:16 AM on March 26, 2019

“This is worse than the finale of ‘Lost,’” Colbert said, referencing the popular drama series that ended in 2010. “What about the smoke monster, was it real or not? And if not, why have so many members of Trump’s campaign pled guilty to lying about meeting with the smoke monster?”

Colbert: All The Other Reasons Trump Is A Bad President (via WaPo)
posted by Little Dawn at 8:29 AM on March 26, 2019 [4 favorites]

Middle Age Riot @middleageriot Mar 25

Republicans: "The Mueller report completely exonerates Donald Trump."

Democrats: "Great, then release the report."

R: "It completely exonerates him."

D: "Fine, then release…"


posted by petebest at 12:32 PM on March 26, 2019 [8 favorites]

U.S. Attorney General William Barr plans to issue a public version of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report

Barr Better Have My Report
a poem by Huggy Bear petebest

Barr Better Have My Report
Not some of my report
Not a redacted report
But ALL. Of my document cache.

Lest I put my metaphorical foot. In his @$%.

posted by petebest at 2:31 PM on March 26, 2019 [2 favorites]

Crossing the streams a bit: 2020 Democratic Primary Candidates as @dril tweets.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 8:12 PM on March 26, 2019 [2 favorites]

I never thought I'd say this about Twitter, but I have to say reading the comments there gives me hope lately. When garbage like Sarah Sanders' latest juvenile drivel got posted a year ago it seemed like half the replies were Trump supporters... now it took me a while to sift through all of the well-deserved snark and find one Trump supporter.
posted by mmoncur at 4:59 AM on March 27, 2019

mmoncur, best-case scenario for me is that the MAGA crowd are bored/tired/disengaged. I'm sure the vast majority of them are every bit as vile as ever, and still big fans of the man who's "running" things. But if this *gestures toward the omnidumpsterfire* has lost its thrill for them, that would mean good things, electorally and otherwise.
posted by duffell at 5:45 AM on March 27, 2019

Colbert last night: "I mean, if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then how were they supposed to know it was a deeply strange squirrel who strapped on a beak, some wings, and yelled, "quack quack-- what makes you think I'm a duck, you traitor?"
posted by numaner at 8:49 AM on March 27, 2019 [3 favorites]

"...if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck," how do we know it's not a baby swan, he said mixing metaphors in a food processor...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:47 PM on March 27, 2019 [1 favorite]

deleted from the Trigger Warning thread:
Another View of Warnings
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:02 PM on March 27, 2019

The twitter riffing on #BillBarrLetters is on to something:

@joshtpm: Bill Barr letter on Hamlet: Prince never returns to school after unplanned trip to Denmark.
@joshtpm: 2/ Bilbo returns home with new ring. #BillBarrLetters
@petersagal: 3/ Ahab's search for whale ultimately shows no results.
@highwayten: Walter White and his family run successful car wash. #BillBarrLetters
@ggstoa: a great man died, while thinking about his childhood sled #BillBarrLetters
@liesagreedupon: Luke reunites with long lost dad. #BillBarrLetters
@andrewlong166: Decorated US Army Colonel befriends natives, reportedly killed by friendly fire #BillBarrLetters

If I had a twitter account, I'd add my own: 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California odometer shows no signs of tampering. #BillBarrLetters
posted by peeedro at 9:11 PM on March 27, 2019 [7 favorites]

@LeftCrusader Nosferatu's daytime activities found to not be suspicious.

@teemuFI "[T]he investigation did not establish that Judas Iscariot conspired or coordinated directly with Pontius Pilate." #BillBarrLetters
posted by petebest at 3:59 AM on March 28, 2019 [4 favorites]

Dude does not conclude German nihilists kidnapped Bunny, also does not exonerate them.
posted by peeedro at 5:38 AM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

Speaking of the Buttigiegs, I just discovered their two rescue dogs have a Twitter account and they are adorable.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:19 AM on March 29, 2019

the always contrarioid Ted Rall...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:37 PM on March 29, 2019

posted by oneswellfoop at 5:56 PM on March 30, 2019

Forget collusion. Forget corruption. Forget all the other misdeeds.THIS will irreversably light the anger of all millennials (and then some).

Provided they will not collapse in a gibbering heap in front of their Avocado Toast Bars, whimpering "kill me now".
posted by Stoneshop at 10:56 PM on April 1, 2019 [2 favorites]

unilaterally closing the border to people (but somehow not goods), is basically Brexit, but even fucking stupider.

posted by BungaDunga at 1:59 PM on April 2, 2019 [3 favorites]

And the "somehow not goods" is logistically impossible, so they'll need tunnels for everything... brings new meaning to guaca-mole...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:11 PM on April 2, 2019 [3 favorites]

Found a picture of Joe Biden sniffing a rather perturbed Wookiee. Could be a fake.
posted by ZeusHumms at 12:06 PM on April 3, 2019 [2 favorites]

Buttigieg/Klobuchar 2020: We Have Really Weird Names
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:19 AM on April 4, 2019 [5 favorites]

>Could Fox News be in trouble with the FEC for providing something of value to the Trump re-election campaign with this behavior?

Leads? Yeah, sure! I'll uh, just check with the boys down at the FEC Crime Lab. They uh, got uh, four more detectives working on the case. They've got them working in shifts!
Leads! ehhhhh
posted by petebest at 3:57 AM on April 4, 2019

Reading srboisvert's comment, I really needed to respond, and the mega thread isn't the place to do that, sooo....
I think his strategy is more market segmentation and saturation. He knows all the different and often conflicting groups in his base and whether it is deliberate strategy or accidental stimulus response behavior he is just a shotgun liar firing out all the possible lies and thus giving each group different lies that they can choose to believe in. He is similar to a running shoe company like Nike. They pretend to have science driven shoe design yet still sell every conceivable running style. Here is our minimalist shoe. Minimalist shoes are the best. Here is our maximalist shoe. Maximalist shoes are the best. They sell every lie that people will buy into and absolutely nobody gives a shit about the lack of logical consistency across the full set of claims.
"Whaddya call that act, anyway?"
"The Capitalists!"
posted by solotoro at 9:33 AM on April 4, 2019 [8 favorites]

DOJ Sees No Clear Link to Russia Conspiracy (Judith Miller, NYT)
posted by petebest at 10:52 AM on April 4, 2019

Judith Miller NY T Sees No Clear Link To Anything... No Clear Link To Her Own Bleeping Brain...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:16 PM on April 4, 2019

From this megathread post: Trump lawyers up to fight the tax return demand. His lawyer's first shot across the bow is unconvincing and desperate.

Maybe Trump would get better results if he didn't expect all legal services to be pro bono.
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:53 PM on April 5, 2019 [1 favorite]

From @Choplogik on Twitter:
we write "Millenials Are Killing The [X] Industry" because when you write "Unsustainable Profit-Driven Systems Are Crumbling Around A Wage-Suppressed Global Populace Serving Roughly 2000 Aging Billionaires" people get too depressed to click through & watch our hair cream ads
posted by Bella Donna at 12:38 PM on April 6, 2019 [9 favorites]

[cake]"The base of the democratic party goes home during a Presidential election after super turnout during a midterm because leadership didn't rock the boat."[/cake]

You'd better go for 'krentenwegge' as a base, a currant bread commonly served at birthdays and weddings in the eastern part of the Netherlands. Those things are a foot wide and six to eight feet long, with even longer ones being baked for extremely festive events.
posted by Stoneshop at 1:28 AM on April 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

I love the comic strip reruns at gocomics, especially when a formerly non-political one comes back with an 'enhanced' meaning
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:07 PM on April 7, 2019 [2 favorites]

I know it will make for the most anti-climactic headline ever - "Skeletons found in the closet of DC resident Jack the Pumpkin King, 35" - but where is the Stephen Miller hit piece, media?
posted by Selena777 at 10:56 AM on April 8, 2019

Justinian: “Eric Swalwell officially enters the race for the Presidency.”
The Internet is trying to tell me it was The Capitol Steps that did “76 Unknowns,” [2019 Version] but I'm almost certain I remember it being a Mark Russell number from the '80s with the words, "76 Unknowns are the candidates. 110 more soon to declare. On Capitol Hill there's not a member left behind. Except for Ted who hasn't got a prayer." The Ted in question being Ted Kennedy.
posted by ob1quixote at 5:51 PM on April 8, 2019

And now it's time for that fun new game show, "Megathread or Brexit thread?"
"Nothing says you are serious like setting a deadline and then simply pushing the deadline back to a new date when the first deadline is missed."
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:57 PM on April 8, 2019 [3 favorites]

For those who like their US political humor with a side of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, https://twitter.com/realGulDukat is recommended
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:35 AM on April 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

The editorial cartoons keep leaking onto the regular comics page (and that used to be a privilege for just Mallard Filmore)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:51 PM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

My impression of Jerry Nadler at the Battle of Bunker Hill:

Don't fire until they've burned your crops and salted the earth!
posted by diogenes at 4:50 PM on April 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

They wanted the pro-Hitler person there to establish that white nationalism isn't a problem.

[Jeff Foxworthy riff]

IF YEW WAwnt the pro-HITler person there to establish that white nationalism isn't a problem?? .... You might be a nazi. You just might be.
posted by petebest at 6:47 PM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

I predict that tonight's (4/10) political humor will probably use the recent black hole news to take potshots at political entities on both sides of the Atlantic.
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:16 AM on April 10, 2019

From not me:
I'm bringin' Brexit back (yeah)
Them other countries don't know how to act (yeah)
I think it's special, taintin’ the Union Jack(yeah)
So turn around and I'll stab you in the back (yeah)

Dirty EU
See these shackles, baby
I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Uh, yeah, I'm bringin' Brexit back (yeah)
You mother fuckers watch how I slack (yeah)
If that's your border , better watch your back (yeah)
'Cause you're burning up for me, and that's a fact (yeah, take it to the chorus)
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:57 AM on April 11, 2019

Where is the whistleblower that will leak the full Mueller Report online?
(Instead of the Mueller Draft Light?)..
posted by growabrain at 6:33 AM on April 12

Take a lap!
posted by petebest at 6:57 AM on April 12, 2019 [1 favorite]

One of the main news stories today is about an all consuming
blackness that is sucking in everything around it and destroying

But that's enough about #Brexit, in other news the first ever
picture taken of a black hole has been made public.

posted by Stoneshop at 12:56 PM on April 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Thinking about how today's politicians could be models for gargoyles.
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:29 AM on April 16, 2019

This story has been commented on everywhere, including Metafilter, but the wording of this headline still amuses me:

Trump Is Now in a Flame War with [Spins Wheel] George Washington (River Donaghey, Vice News)
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:20 PM on April 16, 2019 [2 favorites]

Found that this subtitle from Vox:

"Collusion, obstruction, redactions, and more."

has kind of the same meter as

"Lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!"
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:59 AM on April 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

Suggested drinking game: take recommended dose of Nyquil, take long nap, pretend that Trump never existed.
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:23 AM on April 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

I've had a sneak peek at Rudy Giuliani's Mueller report rebuttal
Originally, Rudy G had promised to deliver 140 pages of delicious, bodice-ripping, lib-owning content, but as this writer can tell you, there are only so many gifs, emojis and Venn diagrams you can put in a piece of writing before you start to look like you're just trying to fill the pages.
posted by easyasy3k at 9:19 AM on April 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

The Late Show Spoofs Mueller Report Release: ‘Redacted! Redacted!’ (Tamar Auber, Mediaite)

Gilbert Godfried helps depict what an audiobook version of the report would sound like.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:17 AM on April 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

Welcome to MetaFilter, kids! The HTML tag of the day is “blockquote”!
posted by Huffy Puffy at 10:31 AM on April 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

Pity we we've lost "marquee".
posted by BungaDunga at 10:32 AM on April 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

Pity we we've lost "marquee".

There's at least one generation who never knew what that was.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:45 AM on April 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

Lost, like tears, in rain
posted by BungaDunga at 10:52 AM on April 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

It's not lost. I know exactly where we put it. And why...
posted by Karmakaze at 11:16 AM on April 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

"Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my presidency. I'm fucked."

Will that fit on a red cap?
posted by Surely This at 12:06 PM on April 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

I think you'll need all sides, but surely there's a way to arrange the parts of the quote. Maybe the 1st and 3rd sentences on the front, and the 2nd and 4th sentences on the back would work.
posted by ZeusHumms at 12:12 PM on April 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

You could wrap it around a propeller beanie.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:24 PM on April 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

mumimor, on the mothership thread:
> The problem here is that the crimes are so huge and wide-reaching that uncovering them will be a huge challenge to American democracy. If the president and all of his cabinet and half or more of all senators and representatives are involved, how do you even deal with that? How does democracy continue after that?

First, we establish democratically elected workers’ councils. Then those councils lead a mass action wherein the workers establish de facto control over all productive property, thereby establishing a condition of dual power wherein both the bourgeois-electoral government and the worker-elected councils have valid claims to legitimacy and wherein any legitimate political action requires gaining the assent of both the preëxisting bourgeois government and the new workers’ councils. Finally, the workers take up arms, dissolve the bourgeois government, and transfer all power to the councils.

I think at some point in there we also steal a warship, send it up the Potomac, and shell Congress. But I dunno if that’s strictly necessary.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 12:49 PM on April 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

Sure would be satisfying though.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

We have a generation that barely remembers Marquee Mark. (That was his stage name, right?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:41 PM on April 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

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