April Fun Indoor Scavenger Hunt April 1, 2020 8:49 AM   Subscribe

Trying to run with a regular April Fools gag feels super weird this year, so...let's just have an indoor scavenger hunt! Can you find THE ROUNDEST THING in your home? Find a thing that needs finding, post a picture and/or description of it in the thread, suggest something else for folks to look for!

Rules, such as they are:

1. If someone has suggested finding a thing, and you found the thing, post about it! Post a photo, or write a poem, or draw a picture, or tell an elaborate lie; whatever works for you. Strained or creative interpretations are totally fine too.

2. If you'd like folks to try and find something, suggest it! If you want a set/list of things that go together, that's fine to suggest too!

3. If you want to brag about being real quick, who can blame you! But more than one person can find a thing and you can show up later for the thread and play along then too.

4. Most of us are stuck at home more than usual so try to aim for stuff plausibly found at home.

For ease of scanning the thread, probably a good idea to mention suggested items (and mention having found them) in ALL CAPS.

To facilitate showing off photos, frimble has set up Image Preview in this thread. If you have inline video enabled in your Preferences (checkmark next to "YouTube & Vimeo video inline?"), you’ll be able to click the little photo icon next to a link to get a pop-up preview and see an image without needing to leave this thread.

How to post a photo here: host your photo somewhere else (flickr, instagram, imgur, mltshp, or similar image hosting site) and then post a link to the image file here. Here's how to make a link.

And that's about that. Have fun hunting and sharing and suggesting new ideas. Here's a few more to get started:

- THE PRETTIEST BOOK
- A FINE MESS
- SOMETHING WITH A FACE ON IT
- ONE ANIMAL ON TOP OF ANOTHER
posted by cortex to MetaFilter-Related at 8:49 AM (138 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

What will work for image preview: What will not work for image preview: posted by frimble (staff) at 8:50 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Round thing! Mefi Mug

Link

EDIT: Well, that didn't work.

Anyway, that's my link to a round thing. Find something that REMINDS YOU OF A CHICKEN BUT IS NOT A CHICKEN OR AN EGG.
posted by bondcliff at 8:56 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


bondcliff, it'll work if you link to the actual jpeg on that imgur page, instead of to the imgur page itself.

So e.g. you linked to:

https://imgur.com/OTivWJg, like this, which is the imgur page itself

If instead you right-click (or equivalent) on the image itself on that page and copy the link, you get this:

https://i.imgur.com/OTivWJg.jpg, like this here, which is the image file itself.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:04 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


also I would like to see:

SOMETHING PAISLEY
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:07 AM on April 1


I'm bad at computers
posted by bondcliff at 9:10 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


I'm sure to have some round tuits somewhere, but I can't find them at the moment.
posted by Stoneshop at 9:15 AM on April 1 [6 favorites]


I'm not at home because I am "essential" so I'd be happy if someone could please show me a goddamn N-95 mask.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:25 AM on April 1 [17 favorites]


Reminds me of a chicken. Although I feel like there’s an existential question about what it means to “be” or “not be” a chicken. That isn’t a chicken. But if you point at it and say “what’s that?” I would say “a chicken!” (Upon posting: oh no, it’s sideways!)
posted by Secretariat at 9:28 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


I’ve been laid off from my museum job due to the unpleasantness, so I would like to see A MINERAL.
posted by Secretariat at 9:32 AM on April 1 [7 favorites]


I have one of these: something that REMINDS YOU OF A CHICKEN BUT IS NOT A CHICKEN OR AN EGG.

I have a post card if Marcel Proust. It's from my friend Vix who heeded the call for help with a GISHWES item a couple of years ago. I'm struggling to remember the exact item, but the deliverable was a photo of herself dressed as Proust, reading to her chickens.
posted by Eumachia L F at 9:32 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


Paisley: My Turbie Twist hair towel

When hair dryers cause you to frown,
But you hate wearing dripping hair down...
"Buy a Turbie Twist!" says me
"Look, mine came in paisley!"
Just ten dollars, same as in town.
posted by kimberussell at 9:33 AM on April 1 [7 favorites]


I'm not at home because I am "essential" so I'd be happy if someone could please show me a goddamn N-95 mask.

Here you go. It has a lot of drywall dust on it so I'm not sure if it's worth donating.
posted by bondcliff at 9:36 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


-UNNATURAL FOODSTUFF
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 9:36 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Found some things without leaving the room:

SOMETHING PAISLEY is the box that is lifting my laptop to eye level

REMINDS ME OF A CHICKEN I may be devoured for this but it looks like he's sitting on an egg.

SOMETHING ROUND a plush 20-sided die that is useless for die rolling.

a collection of MINERALS
posted by buildmyworld at 9:37 AM on April 1 [9 favorites]


Here is a MINERAL for you, Secretariat! ETA: And cat plus MINERAL :)
posted by Mouse Army at 9:40 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


I want to see a picture of a picture framed on a wall that is a picture of that picture frame on the wall and the picture in that is also the frame on the wall. Points only awarded if it was already on the wall prior to today.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:42 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


please find A MYSTERIOUS THING
(this can be either something that you don't know what it is, or something that you do know what it is but have no idea why or how you have it)
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 9:44 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


Countdown until someone posts a picture of one of those nearly ideal spheres made of silicon or whatever starts now.

I'll play a tiny bit anyway, glad to chat about these two books (plot or valuation) via memail if anyone is frisky, not like I have anywhere to be these days...

Prettiest Book (I'll cheat and post two): My First Edition The Silmarillion (1977) by Tolkien and a really nice illustrated/boxed edition of Two Years Before the Mast (1947 printing) by Dana.
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:45 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


Also, Cortex and Staff, thank you for doing this. We needed something fun.
posted by bondcliff at 9:46 AM on April 1 [7 favorites]


Round Thing - a bit of 1970s art hanging above my WFH desk
posted by jazon at 9:55 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


I'm curious to see what people got for this.

Find me the OLDEST THING in your house.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 9:55 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]




The oldest thing in my home is the shipyard plaque from when it was built.

Because I live in a boat that was built in 1910.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 10:00 AM on April 1 [14 favorites]


-OLDEST THING

I think mine is my grandpa's pair of zeiss binoculars.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 10:01 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


Old thing. With a bonus story!

This church bench came from our local Catholic church. It's from around 1900. It was my mom's church and our church growing up. When they renovated in the late 1980s they sold the pews to the parishioners for $10 each so my mom bought one. It was missing the other side piece though so one end of the bench was just splinters and nails. It sat in my mom's basement for 20 years or so, collecting dust and mold.

I'm not a church guy but when we moved into our house in 2008 I thought our mudroom would be the perfect place for a six foot long bench. So I asked my mom if we could take the bench and we scratched our heads, figuring we might need to hire someone to recreate the other side part. My mom said she had a friend who lived a few houses away from us and she said she'd check to see if perhaps she had also acquired a bench in the 1980s and maybe we could buy hers or use it to rebuild ours.

Turns out the lady on our street hadn't acquired a bench in the 1980s, all she had acquired was the side of a bench, the exact piece we needed to complete our bench. It had been sitting in her basement gathering dust and mold for 20 years.

My mom is convinced God did this, and while I'm not a believer, I see no reason to try to convince her otherwise.

Sorry about the mess.
posted by bondcliff at 10:20 AM on April 1 [17 favorites]


Old Thing - a nice old hand cranked pencil sharperner
posted by jazon at 10:24 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


The oldest thing in my house is my house (built in 1901), so here's a "fun" (ie frustrating) architectural quirk: all of the main doors abut walls.
Front Door
Door to the basement
Back door

MOST UNIQUE PAIR OF SOCKS
posted by Sparky Buttons at 10:24 AM on April 1 [8 favorites]


PAISLEY: Here's my bed, that I actually just crawled out of about a half hour ago after a nap. You probably can't see it, but it's still warm. Warrrrm Paissssley, yesssss. (nobody said nothing about 'no horror')

I would like to see your SHINIEST thing.
posted by taz (staff) at 10:25 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


I would like to see your MOST GREEN thing! 🟩
posted by jazon at 10:27 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


(actually since my wife has a bunch of her family's antiques I think there are older things in my house but the bench is one of the few things that came from MY family and the story is more interesting. She has a Mason and Hamlin piano that is older than the bench, which is kind of cool.)
posted by bondcliff at 10:29 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Somebody show me something you REGRET BUYING.
posted by bondcliff at 10:30 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


I'd like to see YOUR KITCHIEST HOME DECOR
posted by kanata at 10:33 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


(These are all such good suggestions and answers, you guys are making me happy today, thank you!)
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:34 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Kitchiest Home Decor: https://i.imgur.com/a1rz73C.jpg

I want to see your oldest book!
posted by donpardo at 10:46 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


Paisley happens to be my dog's name, does she count, cortex?
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:06 AM on April 1 [14 favorites]


I'll allow it!
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:07 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


This is both one of my PRETTIEST BOOK(s) and something I REGRET BUYING because I am sorry I gave money to that TERFy woman.
posted by agatha_magatha at 11:11 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]




Kitchiest Home Decor: This is an egg separator. It works exactly how you think it does.
posted by bondcliff at 11:23 AM on April 1 [7 favorites]


Oldest book: 1906 printing of the Fannie Farmer cookbook.

Oldest non-book thing: sink, ca 1924. (No mixer, b/c of course you'd just fill the basin with water and splash from there.)
posted by Westringia F. at 11:35 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


> Find me the OLDEST THING in your house.

I'm reasonably certain there are some items in the house that predate the Civil War, but in lieu of trying to find them, here are some eyeglasses that are at least 140 years old that I intend to get re-lensed.
posted by ardgedee at 11:35 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


ROUNDEST THING: Somehow, this glass artist got a whole universe of little flecks into a 1" marble

OLDEST THING: A tiny 2-headed dish that was my grandmother's.

I haven't looked at those in way too long.

And, yes, I'm bad at cameras.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 11:42 AM on April 1 [6 favorites]


Kitschiest decor: behold the Charlie Chaplin piggy bank (I've had it since I was a little kid).
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:46 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


How about this old round thing which still has the USSR in existence.
posted by Fizz at 11:47 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]


I would like to see: a thing you got for your birthday!
posted by Westringia F. at 11:47 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


the OLDEST THING IN MY HOME is this looted terracotta antiquity of indeterminate age, which i got from a bahraini art dealer who was later investigated by interpol for the sale of stolen mesopotamian artifacts and potentially funding isis. it features a sbux vanilla scone inside of it for size reference purposes. it is allegedly 5,000 years old but i'm guessing it's about half that.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:50 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


> - ONE ANIMAL ON TOP OF ANOTHER

We're down to one non-human animal in our household, so I had to bend the rules a bit.
posted by tonycpsu at 11:51 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


kitchiest home decor is the face on my kitchen sink
https://mltshp.com/p/1IAV0
posted by mit5urugi at 11:53 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]


OLDEST BOOK THING I have, possibly also my PRETTIEST BOOK: this collection of Milton poems from 1912!
posted by rather be jorting at 11:59 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]


> -UNNATURAL FOODSTUFF
> REGRET BUYING.

"Popcorn". The contents (not shown) don't look like popcorn at all. They're actually marshmallows but with an unsettling amount of sugar added. The manufacturer's label at the bottom says "CUBE POPCORN". Thrown out after this photo was taken.
posted by ardgedee at 12:02 PM on April 1 [4 favorites]


This is great fun.

Oldest thing: 1893 Columbia Exposition spoon. I can't find the four billion year old meteorite fragment that I gave to my spouse for their 40th birthday. I'm guessing they took it with them when last moving. (We live far apart at the moment.)

Round: Barro negro candle holder

Face: plastic toy cerberus

Chicken but not a chicken: paper mache artwork my spouse made as a teenager. It's siblings are obviously representational, but I have no idea what this one is meant to be.

One animal on top of another: print of a photo I took when I was 9.

Kitchiest home decor: a ceramic flask designed to look like a book, with a leather binding that reads "GIN." The binding is damaged because my sweaty fingers got stuck to it while carrying it home from a garage sale in unbearably hot weather.

Mineral: Hand worked obsidian from central Mexico (not a looted artifact, despite what it looks like. From the discard pile of a contemporary artist recreating pre-columbian techniques.) Yeah, it's actually a glass and not a mineral. But, it's pretty close and more interesting than any true minerals. (It was posted using crystal silicon devices. . . does that make it count?)

Challenge: Show me the OLDEST EDIBLE THING in your home.
posted by eotvos at 12:06 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


> I want to see your oldest book!

Kokoro: Hints and Echos of Japanese Inner Life by Lafcadio Hearn. Bernhard Tauchnitz publisher, Leipzig, 1907.

That's the oldest one in the bookcase at the moment. Pretty sure I've got older books currently in boxes until more bookcases are built.
posted by ardgedee at 12:06 PM on April 1 [4 favorites]


> Challenge: Show me the OLDEST EDIBLE THING in your home.

Does alcohol count?
posted by ardgedee at 12:08 PM on April 1


Alcohol counts as far as I'm concerned.
posted by eotvos at 12:16 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Show me the OLDEST EDIBLE THING in your home.

I wish I still had the fruitcake that my brother and I would alternately give each other each christmas. It lasted about 15 years before one of us (him) misplaced it.
posted by bondcliff at 12:17 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


Challenge: Show me the OLDEST EDIBLE THING in your home.

I present a jar of olives I picked a year and a half ago, threw into some brine, and promptly forgot about.
posted by egregious theorem at 12:18 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]




> OLDEST EDIBLE THING

It's in my parents' home, not mine, but here's a nearly-40 year old box of kosher salt. It's still good, I cooked with it on my last visit there. We didn't die.
posted by ardgedee at 12:20 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


MOST UNIQUE PAIR OF SOCKS

My husband bought me some socks custom-printed with our cats' faces on them, so I think I can say that these are at least tied for Most Unique Socks Ever!
posted by slenderloris at 12:21 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


Also, if you look at TWO of my photos up above, you'll be able to figure out where I work. Lol. There are two clues. I'll let you figure it out. ;-)
posted by Fizz at 12:25 PM on April 1


MOST UNIQUE PAIR OF SOCKS

My friend got me these socks, which I guess are the old carpet from the Portland, OR airport. I've been to Portland but have never actually flown into PDX. I was going to wear them when I flew there this July but the way things are going I don't think that's going to happen.
posted by bondcliff at 12:25 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


How about BEST ITEM EVER PURCHASED FROM A GARAGE SALE OR THRIFT STORE?
posted by slenderloris at 12:28 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


Oh and the oldest thing in general is probably this cast iron skillet that I think dates back to the 1930s or perhaps a bit earlier.

Edit: this is also a strong candidate for "best purchase from a thrift store"
posted by egregious theorem at 12:29 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


Oldest book: I'm not sure if it's actually my oldest book, by my oldest book weighted by volume is definitely my collection of Ask Me Another trivia books. Around 50% were printed in 1927, the rest from 1938-1942. Three have been loaned out.
posted by eotvos at 12:32 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


I'll throw one out into the mix:

MOST INTERESTING COFFEE MUG OR TEA CUP.

Someone gifted us this random diamond jubilee royalty mug. It's also probably the TACKIEST THING I own.
posted by Fizz at 12:35 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


I'm supposed to be working, but I'm in here just smiling at all these wonderful things/photos. Best April Fools Day on MetaFilter ever! I propose we make this an ongoing tradition, a scavenger hunt on the first day of April.
posted by Fizz at 12:38 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


MINERAL: a 50g specimen of galena (a souvenir from last year's trip to Colorado that I gave to my partner for all of his radio needs).
posted by Westringia F. at 1:10 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


Most interesting coffee mug or tea cup: Damn. All my really fun cups are at the office. I'm not sure going in to snap a photo counts as essential business.

I keep the Mars Surveyor souvenir cup as my every-day tea cup, 'cause it's big and had a nicely designed handle. The lander crashed into the planet and was destroyed on impact. I usually offer visitors that I know well and have a dark sense of humor my "Teacher in Space" mug, made to commemorate Christa McAuliffe and sold to the public before she died in the Challenger shuttle explosion.
posted by eotvos at 1:18 PM on April 1 [4 favorites]


BEST ITEM EVER PURCHASED FROM A GARAGE SALE: is this machinist's toolbox. It was clearly handmade by someone who needed to get better at carpentry, but it's pretty appropriate, given what I keep in it.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 1:24 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


OLDEST THING - box that opens to writing slope given by my great grandmother to her husband in 1902
posted by crocomancer at 1:24 PM on April 1 [4 favorites]


One animal on top of another, cat edition.
posted by Westringia F. at 1:37 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


OLDEST BOOK
posted by chavenet at 1:39 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


one

boo
THC

through this door

fiver
posted by clavdivs at 1:42 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


ONE ANIMAL ON TOP OF ANOTHER

Also cats
posted by slenderloris at 1:46 PM on April 1 [7 favorites]


N95 MASK (turns out I had about 15 of these from a summer sanding project - gave all but two to the local hospital today, I could use a nice cloth mask if any MeFites are making them)
SOMETHING WITH A FACE ON IT (I paid too much money for this at some foofy kitchen store and turns out it was totally worth it)
OLDEST BOOK (why do I even have this?)

Now I know what I would like to see: SOMETHING ORANGE
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 1:51 PM on April 1 [7 favorites]


I can't post any finds yet because I'm being essential at work, but I would like to see:
SOMETHING YOU HAVE 50 OR MORE OF
posted by FirstMateKate at 1:54 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


My oldest thing is an ammonite fossil, 240 million years!

Most unique pair of socks is an emergency purchase from the gift shop at Portmerion Festival No. 9 during a torrential downpour. They say “I am not a number” up the leg with a picture of a bicycle.

And on that note, show me the thing in your place that is a PRISONER or has the LARGEST NUMBER on it.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:20 PM on April 1 [7 favorites]


Oh, for thing I have 50 or more of... I have a Tupperware with 500 google eyes of various sizes. I can’t wait to release them into the wild once we are all free to roam again.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:22 PM on April 1 [7 favorites]


“a thing you got for your birthday!”

Ooh so my partner ordered the board game Wingspan from our local game shop for my birthday. He paid for it at 5pm today via PayPal and an hour later (!!!!!) a woman buzzed our door and left it outside.

My birthday isn’t for two weeks+ and we weren’t expecting it until around then anyway but boyfriend won’t let me open it early. So that point of contention has become a Thing that has morphed into some weird punny inside joke mutating wordmonster in the space of four hours.

I suspect that we’ll open the game before this joke takes over everything and endangers us all.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:36 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


> SOMETHING ORANGE

As an Illinois grad I’m finding this surprisingly difficult.
posted by hwyengr at 2:58 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


I would like to see the SMALLEST THING MADE OF METAL in your house.
posted by blurker at 3:18 PM on April 1


I have this lovely round illustration of the Trappist planetary system right above my desk.
posted by odinsdream at 3:39 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


> SOMETHING YOU HAVE 50 OR MORE OF

Bamboo skewers.
posted by ardgedee at 3:42 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Roundest thing: a bowl full of baseballs caught at games.

Thing I regret buying: anyone who touts the magnificence of German engineering needs have a conversation with me

Thing I have more than 50 of: Nothing pithy here.

Kitchiest decor: This cooking with Alf doll lives above the stove.

Oldest thing in the house: a mechanical relay that was installed on the CTA in 1922

And I finally found something orange.
posted by hwyengr at 3:54 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


This is the most my spouse has engaged with Metafilter, well, ever. She keeps asking for things to find.

Most unique pair of socks: Avocados!

Unnatural food: It was Filipino cuisine night and we just happened to have ube on the table.

Animal-on-animal: Had to get creative, only having one animal in the house.

Prisoner: Straight from the Alcatraz gift shop.

Something with a face: I’ll do ya one better. Here’s a whole head.
posted by hwyengr at 4:33 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


anyone who touts the magnificence of German engineering needs have a conversation with me

Who's the U-Boat Commander?
posted by valkane at 4:37 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


So I noticed that the background of my socks photo accidentally contains not ONE but TWO Metafilter-related items!!! One is the laptop stickers you can kind of see on the counter, obtained via the Valentine card swap in 2018, and the other is the "Dutch dish towel" hanging on the side of the fridge, purchased via an AskMe answer last year!

I'm not sure whether I'd rather believe that this is an extremely fun coincidence, or evidence of how far Metafilter is integrated into my life. Maybe I'll take some more random photos around the house and look for clues.
posted by slenderloris at 4:46 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]




Here is my most interesting mug. It looks like the bus shelters they used to have in Canberra.
posted by Kris10_b at 4:53 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


And my weird socks, plus my wife's "you're not the boss of me" sock on the far right end, going the other way
posted by filthy light thief at 4:59 PM on April 1


SOMETHING YOU HAVE 50 OR MORE OF

hold onto your butts, it's going to be ROCKS. I mean, I probably have over 50 fossil fish alone. Oh hell, my inoceramus clams number in the triple digits. How many sands do I have? Too many. Ditto various algae specimans. And too many salt minerals. But let's move on and show some stuff off because YAY. All of these rocks have been personally collected (legally) by me. Some of them, though, came from the piles I've dumped rocks in my yard instead of in the house so maybe they don't technically count? I don't know, but let's have fun!

MINERAL
Here is just a sampling of my mineral collection. I have several of these types of boxes. I have regular boxes. I have bags and bags.

Here are some favorite minerals. I've made my career on calcite, so that's the pointy one on the top left. The bottom one is hematite which replaced a salt, which I found in a Kansas limestone. The one of the right is some fancy mineral I found near Leadville, CO, which I chose because it is representative of all the fancy minerals I've found that I have no idea what they truly are. (There are 2 types of geologists: totally mineral people and non mineral people. I'm decidedly a non-mineral one. Except for salts. ohmygoodness I HEART SALT.)

ONE ANIMAL ON TOP OF ANOTHER
AHA look at these beautiful animal rocks not just animals but also other symbiotic relationships. The bottom rock is a coquina mixed in with some rip-up clasts. There are all kinds of marine life - molluscs, forams, etc. - but the majority of it are crinoids (the stems have kind of exploded) all mixed together. (You may have to zoom in.) The top one is a fossil coral on coral (coral are animals). I have better ones but that was easy to access since I use it as bookend. But it's also representative of an algal-animal relationship.

The trilobite is for free. I just like it and it was handy.

Find me the OLDEST THING in your house
Let's start with my oldest plant: on the right is a portion of a Lepidodendron from Nova Scotia, around 300 million years old. Somewhere around the house are some of its leaves, and I also have some some very old plant roots - some of the oldest in the world - but I couldn't find them without tearing through a lot of boxes. Just for fun, on the right is one of my youngest plant fossils, a leaf about 13 million years old.

My oldest cyanobacteria fossil (stromatolites) is about 2.1 billion years old, from a not to be disclosed location (on the right). My youngest stomatolite is about 326 million years old, from the Madison Formation, (on the left for comparison).

But let's get real old. Here are some of my samples from the Wyoming craton, which range from 2.8 to 3.1 BILLION years old. Pictured is banded iron formation, mylonite, greenschist (all from the Atlantic City Greenstone Belt) and then some igneous rock from the Beartooth-Bighorn complex. At the bottom is a cut and polished banded iron formation so one can see how pretty it is. I WIN (so far). (To be fair, at least some of them came from where I had tossed them in the yard, though.)

This comment made possible by my pants, which I took off so I could have a black background for these pics, and which got dirtier and dirtier as the photo taking went on.
posted by barchan at 5:14 PM on April 1 [25 favorites]


my respirator is out of date.

and the U.S.S Canberra.
posted by clavdivs at 5:18 PM on April 1


round thing
paisley thing
my house was built in 1867 and these are original floorboards/nails
oldest books are my grandmother's junior college Shakespeare collection. My granddad was on the faculty; she was his student, erk!
prettiest book is this Golden Book of Fairytales that my son's play therapist gave use for Christmas when he was 4.
thing I regret buying is this Wheelhorse mower deck that I agreed to pay $300 for and was in much worse shape than I expected, except after driving 1.5 hours to go look at it I didn't want it to have been a 3 hour trip with nothing to show for it.
Kitschiest thing would be this plate that my daughter got for me when she went shopping at the flea market with my ex-husband when she was about 10 years old
a fine mess
the old chicken coop reminds me of chickens, obviously.
an animal on top of another animal
a thing with a face on it. who is this? i don't know, it's my daughter's, her BFF gave it to her a couple years ago.
an unnatural foodstuff: Squid Brand fish sauce: it's the squidliest!
posted by drlith at 5:24 PM on April 1 [4 favorites]


I want to see - a gadget in your home that you have no idea what it does
posted by Mchelly at 5:42 PM on April 1


MYSTERY OBJECT: it's a cross-walk button, but why was it in my woods? It's more than 5 miles to the closest traffic crosswalk.
PRISONER: here is Soren in food jail, because he steals food from other horses at mealtimes
MOST INTERESTING SOCKS: Got these octopus socks from emmling in Osaka for Quonsar last year in honor of Osaka's famous octopus balls.
MOST INTERESTING COFFEE CUP: This is my personal favorite, but here is my collection of Quonsmas cups so far.
OLDEST FOOD: this Old Bay is ooooold, like circa 2010.

My spice rack inspires me to add a new category: THING WITH A CURSE WORD ON IT.
posted by drlith at 6:30 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]






Oldest edible thing: Unibroue "Quelque Chose" from...2002, I think? Also some Boulevard Brewing Sixth Glass from 2007.

(I told some of the preppers at work that I have enough calories in my beer cellar to last at least a month. They were oddly impressed.)
posted by notsnot at 6:52 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


I'm not at home because I am "essential" so I'd be happy if someone could please show me a goddamn N-95 mask.

I asked, and the universe provided a box of 20. It's nice to know that I am both essential and worth the $1.50 to try to prevent me dying.

As an aside, no one is in the mood for April Fools jokes. But a patient at the low barrier heroin treatment program I am working at was staring at his phone during our visit and totally deadpanned: "Oh my god, did you see this story about President Obama?"

Me, in Very Serious Clinical Mode and unable to handle any new bad news: "Oh no, what now?"

"He announced to the world today that he is homosexual."

...

?...wait, ....what?!!!

"Yeah and apparently he waited to do this on April 1st."

Bravo, my friend. You got me, and you managed to take it up to the line of "surprising and fucking with my head" without crossing into the territory of "I don't have time for this shit."
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:16 PM on April 1 [8 favorites]


I would like to see an object that is PROOF THAT YOU ARE A MEFITE.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:26 PM on April 1


PROOF THAT I AM A MEFITE, courtesy of fandango_matt years and years ago.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:33 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


^^was that the 8th anniversary meetup in Portland when we went to Voodoo? The iconic photo of cortex, I mean?

Such a great night, that was.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:43 PM on April 1


The photo is from even earlier, at the shitty basement job I had that I moonlighted from when I was first working part time as a mod!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:50 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]






a gadget in your home that you have no idea what it does: 3cm diameter ramekin. I have no idea what these could possibly be used for. I've never seen them used. This is the fourth home that we've moved them to.
posted by eotvos at 10:30 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


proof
posted by eotvos at 10:49 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


A USELESS home gadget - what even is this?!

I would like to see your STUFFED ANIMAL or the like.
posted by soakimbo at 10:55 PM on April 1




PROOF THAT I AM A MEFITE - Ask MetaFilter sticker on my ThinkPad. (I also have a MetaFilter sticker on an older laptop, a MeFi sticker on my phone, and the back/body of my old phone was basically MeFi blue!)

THE ROUNDEST THING *and* SOMETHING WITH A FACE ON IT - my Timex chronograph watch (it was the roundest thing on my desk)

ANOTHER SOMETHING WITH A FACE ON IT - a U of Oregon Duck stress ball, one of the Quonsmas goodies given to me by DingoMutt this past December!

MOST INTERESTING COFFEE MUG - Jane Austen mug with a quote from Pride & Prejudice. A friend visited Bath, England and brought this back for me as a gift many years ago. The quote is from Elizabeth: "Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies, do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."

STUFFED ANIMAL - I still have my childhood teddy bear but they're a little shy, so I won't post a photo. ;) If I have time I'll try to post a photo of another stuffed animal friend.
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 1:03 AM on April 2 [2 favorites]


Oldest book on our shelves? This calfskin one from 1638.
posted by vacapinta at 4:10 AM on April 2 [7 favorites]


PROOF that I am a mefite. These recipes are version controlled in git, for heaven's sake -- that's how much we over-think them. (And "huevos_con_whatnot.txt" is from this ask.me!)
posted by Westringia F. at 4:33 AM on April 2 [3 favorites]


Oh, and here's my MeFi proof!
posted by vacapinta at 6:25 AM on April 2


Follow up to my "oldest edible"...forgot about the bottle of Jack Daniels', still in a box, with a Target price tag of 6.69. No UPC.
posted by notsnot at 7:02 AM on April 2 [4 favorites]


looking for: TOILET PAPER STACKED TALLER THAN A STANDING HUMAN
posted by 23skidoo at 7:46 AM on April 2


Proooooof.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:52 AM on April 2 [7 favorites]


> a gadget in your home that you have no idea what it does: 3cm diameter ramekin 📷. I have no idea what these could possibly be used for. I've never seen them used. This is the fourth home that we've moved them to.

Holy crap things like that are essential when I'm cooking! Measure out all the small thing (herbs, spices, chopped garlic, etc., and line them up in ramekins so they're ready the moment you have to add them to the whatever-you're-making. We've got dozens of these in our kitchen.
posted by ardgedee at 11:38 AM on April 2 [5 favorites]


Interesting coffee cup pic1, pic2: We’ve got a whole set of these commemorative regional telephone co-op mugs. May also double as best thing picked up at a garage sale or thrift.
posted by hwyengr at 12:04 PM on April 2 [1 favorite]


anyone bring this out of the stock room.
posted by clavdivs at 12:48 PM on April 2 [1 favorite]


I've combined into 1 image, 2 objects covering 5 categories
Left: Thrift store with Face: Allen Iverson figure
Right: Orange and Round and Stuffed animal: Ryan (from Korea's messaging app Kakao. Note that Ryan is a Lion without a mane)
posted by spamandkimchi at 1:42 PM on April 2 [3 favorites]


Round thing. It's a ball bearing from a steel filing cabinet. Not sure how it became dislodged and I think I found the spot in the drawer slide where it is supposed to go but couldn't get it back in. Anyway it was within easy reach and the cat is still on my lap!
posted by exogenous at 2:36 PM on April 2 [1 favorite]


I think this scrimshaw, a childhood birthday gift from my aunt, qualifies as the OLDEST THING in my house and perhaps also SOMETHING SHE REGRETS BUYING.
posted by cheapskatebay at 3:22 PM on April 2 [3 favorites]


This has been fun, and prompted me to do some chores today. Thanks!
-OLDEST THING The British Oracle, 1769
- A MYSTERIOUS THING Topanga Canyon Land Deed Coin (reverse) ; There is also a large, raw block of aluminum(?) in one of the kitchen cupboards that has my uncle's name engraved on it. It's too difficult to take out for a picture.
- PRETTIEST BOOK .....and this sent me on a cleaning/organizing frenzy for like the last 6 hours. I can't seem to find my prettiest book. I thought it was in the safe. I emptied the boxes of books that have been waiting for 18 months for a place on a shelf. I dusted, and I vacuumed. I looked in the safe again. It's around here somewhere. I remember thinking, "this thing is dangerous and needs to be somewhere I (or a guest) won't accidentally cut themselves on it." It's really pretty, but it's sharp too.
- A FINE MESS The to-read case
- SOMETHING WITH A FACE ON IT This TSH cycling cap has faces on everything.
- ONE ANIMAL ON TOP OF ANOTHER Another one that's been blank for most of the time I was hunting these photos, but Normal & Frankie just obliged of their own accord!
- SHINIEST THING ok fine I'll drag out that block of aluminum.
- YOUR KITCHIEST HOME DECOR - Mom says she bought this framed glass print for Paul at the 4th Ave. Street Fair, Tucson, AZ, ca 1983 or so.
- SMALLEST THING MADE OF METAL & ROUNDEST THING: ball bearing from my recently-exploded shimano freehub
- PRISONER Originally I was aiming for Guest Bath Rubber Ducky but if you look closely the spot in the tub is a little tiny millipede who isn't get out of there any time soon either.
- PROOF THAT I AM A MEFITE Favorite button

Your challenge from me is to find the BIGGEST THING THAT FLOATS in your house.
posted by carsonb at 3:44 PM on April 2 [5 favorites]


oh yes one second let me untether my dirigible
posted by poffin boffin at 3:44 PM on April 2 [10 favorites]


I hope you'll accept without photographic evidence the biggest thing that floats in my house.
posted by Westringia F. at 5:42 PM on April 2 [2 favorites]


does bong hit exhaust count as things?
posted by clavdivs at 7:11 PM on April 2 [4 favorites]


mos def
posted by carsonb at 7:50 PM on April 2 [2 favorites]


Y’all are essentially keeping me on the positive side of going loco. #CoronaMeFi has been kicking ass and taking names of late. Shout outs (from a 6 foot physical distance) (of course) to our amazing community. I swoon all of you. Photos of anything welcome. Oh ok well, kitties.
posted by pipoquinha at 10:34 PM on April 2 [3 favorites]


(Oh and poffin boffin I just just added dirigible to my monthly list of words I like. It’s the first one for April. Word Nerds UNITE).
posted by pipoquinha at 10:44 PM on April 2


for "the BIGGEST THING THAT FLOATS" is my house.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:10 AM on April 3 [8 favorites]


that's a win.
can we borrow the radar?
posted by clavdivs at 8:13 AM on April 3




THE AWESOME IMAGE PREVIEW FEATURE AS A PERMANENT THING ACROSS ALL METAFILTER BRANDED CONTENT PORTALS
posted by tonycpsu at 11:57 AM on April 3 [1 favorite]




ANIMAL ON AN ANIMAL, ca. 1993
posted by slenderloris at 5:25 PM on April 3 [3 favorites]


Words you enjoy. Mine for March:
Lickspittle
Quibble
Copacetic
Hillbilly
Crotchety
Decameron
Shindig
Blasé
Flabbergasted
Sqander
Whittle
Trembly
Cahoots
Bungled
Frisson
Verklempt
Shiksa
Ineffable
Palpable
Doohickey
Mishmash
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (ok more than one word but Truly Scrumptious and Dick Freaking Van Dyke? It’s allowed).
posted by pipoquinha at 8:27 PM on April 3


some fun werdz I've enjoyed this past month:

- peregrinations
- impertinence
- perfidious
- victuals
- cuirass
- licentiate
posted by rather be jorting at 8:58 PM on April 3 [1 favorite]


Sorry I am so late to the party.

Something round: we have loads of orbs in our house (not pictured an old pomander)

Something old: we no longer have it, but years ago my mother bought us a small breadboard from New Zealand which was made of wood which was purported to be millions of years old ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
posted by poo rusher at 10:17 AM on April 4


Now that you mention wood, for OLDEST THING we have a rather amazing coffee table that was given to us as a wedding gift that is a great big, solid round piece of teak table top, about two inches by 1 meter / 3 feet. (The teak piece was the gift -- we built a base and use it as a coffee table, which is actually where we eat most of our meals).

How old might this be, at this size? It's surely also the MOST VALUABLE thing we own (since we don't have a car, don't do jewelry, and most of the rest of our stuff is second hand, "found," or Ikea-type), and is also easily THE ROUNDEST. I will try to take a photo later, when there's more light, and less clutter on it.
posted by taz (staff) at 12:09 PM on April 4 [1 favorite]


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