Metatalktail Hour: New day, new year January 1, 2021 6:30 AM   Subscribe

Hello Mefites, happy 2021! It's a new year and we're all wishing for better days in the new. I've got my coffee underway this morning and it looks like the sun is going to make an appearance. Are you making resolutions, wishes, hopes, mottoes for this year? Are you doing anything good today or this weekend?
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) to MetaFilter-Related at 6:30 AM (68 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

Good morning! I'm not doing resolutions for this year, but I have a motto. "Go forth and do good things. Good things for myself, for others, and for the planet." I figure that's adaptable to whatever 2021 throws at me.

I hope you all have an excellent day, and year :^)
posted by Gray Duck at 7:28 AM on January 1 [7 favorites]


Good morning! My motto for this year is:

"Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What's important is the action. You don't have to wait to be confident." -- Carrie Fisher

I hope to learn how to cook or bake something new every month, and regain my work ethic so I can overcome some major burn-out related inertia.

Much love and wishes of good health and financial stability for everyone here.
posted by Kitchen Witch at 7:32 AM on January 1 [13 favorites]


Happy 2021! It was good to see the flaming dumpster that was 2020 plunge off the edge of the earth last night at midnight.

I'm not making any "resolutions" this year, but I am in process of ramping up a few urgent-but-long-neglected changes involving self-care. I finally got myself to an endocrinologist to deal with my rampantly out-of-control blood sugars, and was promptly put on insulin, the before-meal kind and the bedtime kind. This is going surprisingly not horribly. We are still adjusting the dosage but my BG has come down considerably and I... *gasp* feel better in general. Who knew a 400 BG could make you feel shitty? (Besides every person with common sense on the planet.) My endo is a proponent of eating low carb, so I am in the process of jumping back on that train. I've done it off and on for years so it shouldn't be too hard to get back in gear. Luckily I mostly don't mind eating that way.

I also started looking for a therapist last week, to deal with low-level depression and some issues that may or may not be codependency, which have been causing me a great deal of unhappiness for years. I think I may have found my person. She is checking my insurance on Monday and we will set an appointment after that. It also suddenly occurred to me that I could go back on the antidepressant I discontinued a couple of years ago, so I called my PCP yesterday and she was happy to call in the Rx. So hopefully I'm on a good path here towards not feeling like a ball of suck all the time. I'm a little nervous about the appointment as I only really feel like talking about all my shit when I'm in crisis, not big on dredging up the past or delving into feelings when I'm on an even keel (however temporarily.) But since crises have in the past tended to pop up on the regular, I need to have a support person in the loop. Wish me luck.

Among all the terrible things that happened in 2020, the most personally terrible thing was losing my sweet 19-year-old kitty Luna. Her health had been declining for some time, but she got very sick over Christmas and we made the decision to have her put down the day after. She was such a sweet girl, my constant companion for all of those years. I miss her terribly and have cried more in the last week than I even thought possible.

This is the first time we have not had pet since... well, decades. Like 30 years I think! When Luna first came to us as a stray kitten we had three other cats at the time. As the others grew older and passed on, Luna became our one and only for several years. I would have liked to have had more animals but she really liked being an only cat (she hated her "siblings" and her personality really blossomed and became much more outgoing and relaxed once they were gone.) So we let her be a spoiled only cat to live out her golden years in peace.

So, this means that we will be seeking out some new animal companions sometime in the next few months! My husband really wants to get a dog, and while I am excited about that I have never not had a cat so I think we will be adopting another feline friend or two as well. So that is something to look forward to in the coming year :)
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 7:58 AM on January 1 [18 favorites]


I say this every year, but this year I am really and truly getting a therapist, if only because I probably need some help processing everything that happened last year. Otherwise, no resolutions, but I do plan to buy some new lounge-wear, because I realize that I'm still wearing hoodies that I bought in the first decade of the 21st century.

Actually, I have another thing that I plan to do, although I wouldn't exactly call it a resolution. I want to be more intentional about donating money. I want to come up with an amount to donate annually (maybe not a tithe, because that's a lot, but a percentage of my income) and then make some real decisions about where to direct it. I can set aside part of it for random things that come up, but I feel like my charitable giving is basically haphazard, and I want to have a plan, set some priorities, and follow through like the grown-up adult person that I am.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:04 AM on January 1 [8 favorites]


Last night I threw a bunch of terrible shit into a bottomless pit. It was very cathartic.
posted by bondcliff at 8:22 AM on January 1 [14 favorites]


I watched a nine minute "toss stuff into the pit" video and enjoyed it! I'm up and the sun is also up which is darned nice. Spent last night singing Mountain Goats songs (and others) with some online pals and toasted the new year with a truly terrible drink of some kind. Woke up and fed the birds and filled the humidifier and am reading a book about the Franklin Expedition thanks to this thread. Have not given any thought to mottoes or resolutions though I'm sure I will today and this week, maybe I'll hang this disco ball up again....
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:49 AM on January 1 [7 favorites]


Get vaccinated.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:28 AM on January 1 [13 favorites]


I was asleep by 10:30 last night. Now I’m on my couch listening to ice and sleet pelt the windows. Sleepy cat on lap, book nearby, homemade lentil soup on the stove. Looking forward to a nice, lazy day. Everything else is going to wait.
posted by bookmammal at 9:28 AM on January 1 [6 favorites]


I’m beginning the new year with therapy, Doctor Who, and starting my personal 2021 goal of (re)reading all fourteen Kurt Vonnegut novels.
posted by bixfrankonis at 9:43 AM on January 1 [5 favorites]


I'm already doing pretty dang good; I paid off my debt in November, and am in a good enough financial place that I can actually make "worry about money" a back-burner thing. I'm going to be starting to work with a financial planner to really make sure I'm set up well, and after that....I think low-level maintenance is all it will need. So it's like I've finally moved up one step on Maslow's Needs Pyramid and have the headspace to start reconnecting with some more soul-level desires; so my goals this year are more about that kind of thing: keep up with my blog, get out of the damn house more often when I can, and actually enjoy myself.

I do also want to cut back on the aimless online media browsing I've been doing - mindless Youtube browsing is taking up a little more time than I'd like, and I keep thinking "but I could read a book or write in a journal or something". I'm going to make myself do more of that.

I'm also going to try to be a little more pro-active about cooking - I have a ton of food, but some days when it gets to be dinner I can't find the motivation to turn that food into a meal, or I just don't feel like eating one of the leftovers I've got. But we've been doing a few slow cooker meals around here, and I've stumbled upon the notion of the "freezer dump and go meal" idea, where you pre-pack the ingredients for something in a freezer bag and let it live there, and then pull one of them out in the morning and dump it in your slow cooker and then let it do its thing, and voila, dinner. Even better - 95% of the recipes for these meals are scaled to families of four with a slow cooker twice the size of the one I've got, but all I need to do is split the recipe between two smaller bags - and I've got two meals, each one just the right size for my own slow cooker. And best of all - a lot of the meals I've found will use up stuff from the CSA that has been sitting in the fridge and staring at me. One afternoon of slicing and chopping and stuffing and I think I've got a good month's worth of food sorted. ....It will also clear out the CSA stuff, which is itself a consummation devoutly to be wished.

A shorter-term goal came about thanks to a recent conversation with my roommate; he's been an absolute PRINCE about stepping up to help me after I broke my knee, but the other day he let slip that it's been kind of taking a toll. We had a chat about how I could help him out and return the favor, and that got easily sorted. But - I think that conversation also was working in my subconscious yesterday, and I started pushing myself out of my comfort zone recoverywise, and made me realize that I'm actually a little further along than I was thinking and should start acting like it; so I tried to get myself up and down our apartment building stairs on my own (something I was a little too scared to do alone up to this point) and it was fine, and I have officially absolved him from that duty. I'm pushing myself to walk more, fetch my own stuff, and do more of the heavy lifting of the house; I think now that unless I need the occasional "this is a two-handed job but I need one hand for my cane" kind of help, he's pretty much off duty.

And when I'm finally free of the cane - which may be as soon as early February - there is going to be a MASSIVE Purge Of Stuff. This is something I wanted to do earlier, but the broken knee threw a wrench in that timeline. But as soon as I'm closer to being "back to normal" - or, at least when I'm at the point that I can squat down and rummage through the lower kitchen cupboards or lower bookcase shelves - I'm going to drag out all the stuff that I no longer need or use and throw it up on my neighborhood's very active "Buy Nothing" group. I'll also see what I have that is the "good enough for my tight budget" level of quality, and see if I want to upgrade anything to the "what I actually wanted when I needed this thing" level of quality ("So I got this cheap nondescript Dutch Oven for 25 bucks at a thrift shop, do I wanna stick with this or spring for a Le Creuset?").

Today, though, I'm making a couple of banana bread loaves - one for me, one for a neighbor that's helped us both out a lot over the past couple months - and will maybe kickstart a journal. I've already cleaned off a cluttered kitchen table, creating room for my roommate to give some gifts from his sort-of-girlfriend a place to sit.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:53 AM on January 1 [11 favorites]


HHAAPPYY NNNEEEWWW YYYEEAAARRRR!!!
posted by Going To Maine at 10:32 AM on January 1 [4 favorites]


I would like to clear out all the junk in the basement and the garage. It will take many trips to the dump, I think, or I could hire The Dump Guy, we'll see. I did already make a small start in the basement a few weeks ago by flattening the nine thousand boxes down there. Which leads to my other resolution: Quit Ordering Shit.
posted by JanetLand at 10:35 AM on January 1 [3 favorites]


We've spent the week cleaning closets and just undoing some of the cruft buildup that resulted from 9 months of being home almost all the time. We actually missed midnight last night as we were very absorbed in the final episode of The Queens Gambit, and it was about 12:05 AM when we realized we had missed midnight. Maybe that was a fitting way for 2020 to end - unnoticed. We aren't taking any chances to start the new year, so it's a traditional Southern good luck dinner with pork loin, black-eyed peas, and cornbread for us tonight.
posted by COD at 10:46 AM on January 1 [6 favorites]


Due to 2020 being so very odd, it feels not just arbitrarily like a 'new beginning', as the new year normally does for me (not that I don't enjoy the ritual of 'starting over' every January 1st), but that the whole world is done with 2020 and *this* is the new beginning that we all need. Which is further complicated by the fact that we can't celebrate together. And yet yesterday I made angel hair pasta with goat cheese and some snacks and later we had chocolate cake, and I cleaned and prepared for the new year, as always. I like to start with things in order as much as possible. So, NYE was mostly the same for me. I'm an early bird so I rarely stay up until midnight. But I texted people and wished them well.

And today I woke up knowing we aren't out of the woods yet. It will be some months before everyone has received a vaccination. And the inauguration is a few weeks away–but we're getting somewhere, finally, sort of. And if this year has taught me anything, it's that I have no idea what's around the corner. And that I never did. It was just lucky that it appeared that way for so long. I know that sounds somewhat defeated–but it's actually very good for me, this sense that I really have very little control over my life. It keeps me on my toes and makes me focus on what is actually important; what I really want, etc.

So, it doesn't feel like just a new year, or new decade for that matter. It feels more like literally the first day of the rest of everyone's lives. I don't know how else to describe it without it sounding like a platitude. It's a huge moment, right now. This new year. But like so many things, we probably won't be able to fully appreciate this time line without some perspective. Maybe 10 or 20 years from now we'll all see this more clearly and, hopefully, as a turning point. I hope we're all here to do just that. That would be amazing.
posted by marimeko at 10:51 AM on January 1 [7 favorites]


Fell asleep by 10:30 last night, as is my custom. Went out to pick up breakfast this morning, then did a mini-Kondo of my closets. Now I have a beef stew in progress on the stove. Pretty good so far.
posted by cozenedindigo at 11:09 AM on January 1 [3 favorites]


I did sigil magic last night. The method I use, if anyone's interested in trying this:

1. Come up with a short phrase—a few words—signifying your intent. This could be a goal or a feeling or set of values you'd like to evoke. E.g., I chose three words I found myself using a lot in the past year when I'm sending wishes into the world.

2. If you wrote something longer, try to condense it into a few words that encompass the main ideas.

3. Write out those words. Strike the vowels and any duplicates of consonants.

4. Draft a symbol or pattern using the letters that remain.

5. Make a more polished, decorative final version of the drawing. It can help to focus your intent by listening to music, burning incense or candles, and placing other items nearby to prepare your space and set a mood of intent.

6. You can also incorporate color magic, selecting colors for the lines or decorative flourishes of the sigil whose meaning will reinforce your intent.

7. Put up the sigil. Some people like to hide it, or put it just out of your usual field of vision in a room, so you're not looking directly at it all the time. It should just be there in your subconscious, so you don't necessarily notice it, but it influences your choices and the vibe in your space.


Otherwise, my goals are specifically the opposite of the stuff I had bondcliff throw into the bottomless pit!
posted by limeonaire at 11:09 AM on January 1 [14 favorites]


It's hot A.F. here in Santiago. Going to my parent's later on. It's too bright.
My youngest cat is sleeping on my desk chair next to me, and if you pet him he gives off a high pitched 'mreeeeeeeeeeep' without opening his mouth.
Also, my favorite comics site (xavierfiles) rebranded (comicsxf) and I joined their Discord, which is fun.
posted by signal at 11:21 AM on January 1 [2 favorites]


I'm deferring my attitude and enthusiasm toward 2021 until I get a better idea of how it's going...check back with me in June or so.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:23 AM on January 1 [4 favorites]


I wrote a letter to myself at the beginning of 2020. I heard about this idea from John Green (author, vlogbrother). He talked about his letter from the beginning of 2020 recently. I will be reading mine later (I'm a little worried about it for some reason!) Anyway, I recommend this practice. I will be writing a letter to 2022 me this weekend.

And I plan to do a painting a day in January. If anyone else wants to do "thing every day in January" maybe we could put together a group somewhere. Anyway, there used to be a group for paint every day in January and I did it 2 or 3 years. I never made it much past February when I tried to sustain it. Perhaps I'll try to come up with something new to do when January is completed.
posted by Glinn at 11:23 AM on January 1 [4 favorites]


I get my first jab tomorrow! I have an appointment at the health department to get the coronavirus vaccine. My real job is in a hospital but I also just accepted a temporary, part time retail pharmacy job where I will help give vaccinations. Vaccines for everybody!
posted by selfmedicating at 12:05 PM on January 1 [26 favorites]


I have baked two pies and a loaf of bread so far in 2021, so I’m off to a reasonable start.

We are having a day of freezing rain, with occasional snowflakes and then more rain, so it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting outdoors at all. The kid and I are basically sitting each with our screen while partner gets the black-eyed peas and collards under way.

I would like to spend my mom’s 70th birthday with her, so am hoping for the pandemic to subside by July and/or to be vaccinated by then. Please nobody tell me this is unrealistic.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 12:12 PM on January 1 [1 favorite]


2020 has been a bit of a pill. See here. In addition to what is written there I recently fell down the basement stairs and have been enjoying the resultant road rash, concussion and cracked rib. And I am still staring bankruptcy and homelessness in the face over the next couple of months. It feels like 2020 is leaking into my 2021.

I heard this recently - What if everything that has happened to you really happened for you? I will be pondering this in 2021. Peace and joy to everyone this year.
posted by pixlboi at 12:26 PM on January 1 [4 favorites]


No resolutions, but I am setting an intention to make a little room in each day for some type of creative activity. I am so alienated from my creative self that I don’t even really feel that much of a tug toward it but I know how good I used to feel getting totally absorbed in projects and I want to find my way back to that feeling.

Paradoxically my other intention is to start treating my life more like running a business. I tend to get a lot of anxiety that leads to procrastination and I think it’s helpful if I take a step back and view my whole life as an enterprise that I’m managing.

Happy new year! I’m so grateful to be embarking on another year in your good company.
posted by HotToddy at 12:49 PM on January 1 [6 favorites]


making plans to go for a hike tomorrow with friends we have not seen in almost a year!!! (we'll wear masks of course)
posted by supermedusa at 1:11 PM on January 1 [2 favorites]


and it looks like the sun is going to make an appearance. Are you making resolutions,

the seven day forecast where I am is as follows:

rain - periods of rain - showers - showers - rain - rain - periods of rain

And then there's the wind warnings and the likely power outages. I guess I'll be a glass half-full type and assume it's just mother earth doing her dilligence, washing all the slime of 2020 away. But I am going to wait until I can least see a hint of my shadow before I make any resolutions.
posted by philip-random at 1:13 PM on January 1 [3 favorites]


We've doubled the number of people and cats in our house, from 2 to 4 of each, since our daughter and a friend of hers graduated and moved in. A good change for the humans but a couple of the cats disagree. Old cat Cammie and new cat Hermes are pretty chill around each other. On the other hand, old cat Barney isn't pleased and new cat Effie hates hates hates the olds. We've gotten as far as allowing all of them in the same room for a little while every day. We aren't hurrying since Barney hisses if Hermes gets too close and Effie tends to make demonic noises.

Like supermedusa upthread, we're hoping to go hiking with old friends tomorrow.
posted by kingless at 1:41 PM on January 1 [4 favorites]


I haven't stayed up for the new year since I was a 20something but I for gosh darn did last night. It was an awesome feeling. Plus, I am NOT doing the traditional southern meal because I am flying an"up-yours" flag at the departure of 2020, and that feels grand.
posted by mightshould at 2:38 PM on January 1


I am NOT doing the traditional southern meal because I am flying an"up-yours" flag at the departure of 2020, and that feels grand.

Heh; last night I was remarking to my roommate that this year was the first in a long time that I also haven't made black-eyed peas and collard greens. He just gave me a look and said "I remember you said that last year, you were making it for good luck....so, uh, maybe your not making it this year is a good thing?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:30 PM on January 1 [5 favorites]


This year, I'm making no plans further than the next breath
posted by scruss at 6:35 PM on January 1 [5 favorites]


This past year, 2020, since I had been working long hours and volunteering with an organization that seemed to suck my time, I resolved to stay home more. I guess that worked.

Not sure I am resolving to do anything this year as I do not want to be responsible for whatever calamity it takes for that resolution to come true.
posted by AugustWest at 7:04 PM on January 1 [3 favorites]


My main takeaway from 2020 is that I now know what an orlop is.
posted by betweenthebars at 7:09 PM on January 1


This year, I'm making no plans further than the next breath

Not buying any green bananas, then?
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:32 PM on January 1


And now I also know what an orlop is.

I'm planning on learning to draw this year...I can a bit, and had art classes an aeon ago, but I feel like not being able to draw well is something that keeps coming up when I see tons of projects I'd like to try drawing, and a stepping stone to a lot of other things I'm interested in, like design/3-d print creatures.

Glinn, I'm drawing something easy every day in January, to get the habit rolling, along with real practice...maybe the MetaCraft discord would work for a January Project discussion?
posted by lemonade at 9:15 PM on January 1 [3 favorites]


This week I cleaned the heck out of my room after about two months of Pit of Despair grade depression.

A friend visited and we had a socially distant bonfire with a bottle of whiskey, some really greasy take out and talked a lot about how shitty 2020 was.

And then we had some very intentional fire ritual that was focused entirely on burning 2020 to the fucking ground.

I may have written some rude fricative words on some left over masks and burned them while cursing and swearing.
posted by loquacious at 9:24 PM on January 1 [4 favorites]


I'm a professional organizer, so I'm all aglow hearing about how so many of you are decluttering and getting rid of things that don't serve you. YAY! (I also filled a box of donations, which I'll be able to touchless-ly pass along through the no-cost magic of Give Back Box.)

For years, my word-of-the-year has ended up disappointing me. The year I needed to recover from some bad things, I picked "resilience" and the universe just gave me more things for which I had to try to be resilient. Feeling like "abundance" could backfire, I picked "Ample" last year. ("Ample: It's not just for bosoms anymore!" I announced to all who would listen.) Ample seemed like it could only give you good stuff. Who ever heard of an ample supply of yucky stuff? A secondary word was "optimism" (for me and my person to work everything out to our advantage to live happily ever after). Yeah, no. Or at least, yeah, probably not. (Um, that sounds pessimistic.)

So this year, my word is "Delighted." I just wanted to be pleased and charmed and delighted by what crosses my path. I know it won't always, but I plan to take note and speak more of the delightful things, and expect I'll be better able to be delighted than that old standby, "grateful."

And I've decided today was delightful. I got my stimulus payment, walked 5 miles, heard from someone who means everything to me after their self-imposed COVID hermittedness (hermittiness?), and spent the evening Zooming with good people. It did not occur to me to punch any public figures, which puts today head and shoulders above most of 2020.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 10:22 PM on January 1 [10 favorites]


I got a deep-tissue massage last night from someone I enjoy spending time with. That was the extent of the festivities.

I applied for a job a few weeks ago, working with victims of violent crime (or their families, in the case of homicide). It's the first non-technology job I've applied for in 17 years, and changing professional fields is a little daunting. I don't think my chances are particularly good, and even if I get an offer I'm not sure if I can take it. But if I do, my life will fork rather dramatically, and it's hard for me to think about (hope, wish) what this year will be for me if I do get it. Apart from that, I am looking forward to continue serving others through volunteering.

For others, then: I hope my wife continues to enjoy both writing and cats (or writing about cats). I hope that everyone here contributes to making MetaFilter a welcoming refuge. I hope that everyone can stay safe and healthy. I hope that all the pain and anguish this year helps to move us to a just and equitable world.
posted by Gorgik at 11:25 PM on January 1 [2 favorites]


Get vaccinated.

There was an interactive thing on the NYT site a couple weeks ago where you enter the state and county you live in, your age, and a couple other things.

There are 268.7 million people ahead of me in Oregon to get vaccinated. So it's gonna take awhile.
posted by bendy at 12:35 AM on January 2 [1 favorite]


No resolutions this year, although I have been playing around with Duolingo German for a week or so. It seemed like an easy way to try something new. Six day streak! So far so good!

Here are the cats being goofballs
posted by janepanic at 2:38 AM on January 2 [3 favorites]


Goals for 2021: see my user name.
posted by manageyourexpectations at 5:50 AM on January 2 [5 favorites]


My motto for 2020 was "Expand [your] life," as in get out of the house more, take more risks, meet more people, maintain more friendships. *sigh* The reader in me would like to apologize for invoking the wrath of the gods with my hubris.*

For 2021, I have a sort of ambiguous hope that whatever happens, I will find the courage to allow it to make me softer, more tender, more open to compassion for others and from others.

*I know "the wrath of the gods" is actually a predictable and ongoing result of Humans (Specifically Privileged Humans) Not Dealing with Problems, but the specificity of a pandemic vis-a-vis my 2020 motto is just. *disassociated chef's kiss*
posted by snerson at 6:50 AM on January 2 [2 favorites]


Not buying any green bananas, then?

No.

I didn't mean the 'next breath' comment as a blissed-out Dao-as-fuck thing. I meant it as: if you're not involved in me taking my next breath, you probably won't hear from me in a useful way for the next year or so. It's a coping-by-not-coping thing.
posted by scruss at 6:59 AM on January 2 [1 favorite]


Actually, I have another thing that I plan to do, although I wouldn't exactly call it a resolution. I want to be more intentional about donating money. I want to come up with an amount to donate annually (maybe not a tithe, because that's a lot, but a percentage of my income) and then make some real decisions about where to direct it. I can set aside part of it for random things that come up, but I feel like my charitable giving is basically haphazard, and I want to have a plan, set some priorities, and follow through like the grown-up adult person that I am.

This is something I have been thinking a lot about, and I appreciate the way you expressed this -- I am going to be trying to do something similar this year.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:01 AM on January 2


My new year's resolution is 720p, same as last year's. My creaking old eyeballs can't actually tell the difference between that and anything finer any more so there's no point burning extra hard disk space or GPU power consumption on it.
posted by flabdablet at 9:49 AM on January 2 [3 favorites]


My partner and I did a bit of mindfulness-reflection on NYE:

Something to leave behind, something to take forward, something to explore.

Also spent some time talking about regrets/sadnesses about 2020, making some room for grief for the year, and then hopes for 2021.

Also also we did queer NYE haircuts and I feel fuckin' awesome. I love NYE/NYD haircuts.
posted by curious nu at 10:10 AM on January 2 [4 favorites]


I have a three day weekend which I’m grateful for, but my husband and I aren’t doing anything particularly special except for babysitting my poor doggy’s diarrheal butt. I’m grateful that there are two of us to share that task, and that he’s a bit of a night owl so all the shit shifts are pretty much covered. Pup is sick enough that he went to the vet this morning, so I’m hoping the meds get to work on his gut soon.

2021. I just want to hug my friends again. I got my first dose of Moderna vaccine this week and the mixture of “this changes everything” and “this changes nothing” is giving me a lot of mental whiplash.
posted by obfuscation at 10:38 AM on January 2 [6 favorites]


Just before New Year's Eve, I bought a Costco sheet cake with Go To Hell, 2020! emblazoned on it (mmmhmm) and posted on social media that I'd like to deliver slices to local friends (porch drops) to either end their year on a high note or start off the new one with something sweet.

It was a goddamn delight driving all over town like some sort of Johnny Frostingseed.

Anyway, I think 2021 will be the year I just Do Nice Shit because I can for the ones I love. More surprises, more just-thinking-of-yous, because it all feels so fragile and it's important to enjoy life while we can.
posted by Twicketface at 12:11 PM on January 2 [20 favorites]


I made colcannon and mushroom gravy for dinner tonight! The plan was to make it yesterday but between the hangover and some poor food decisions yesterday, I punted.
posted by notoriety public at 6:01 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]


I’m going to practice hugging every chance I get. Goddess willing by the end of 2021 I will have learned to be one of those people who gives really good (only upon request) hugs.
posted by rip at 9:51 PM on January 2 [2 favorites]


I just finished a new painting!
posted by vegartanipla at 11:03 PM on January 2 [8 favorites]


I've been diving into music all weekend - trying to get my digital music collection into order, which is a substantial task, and brought my CDs in out of storage to catalog, organize, shelve and digitize the lot of them because many haven't been. By end of the year I hope to have everything FLAC'ed and Plex'ed as well as easily accessible on my desktop and (a healthy subset) phone.

Aside from that I am planning to return to my German lessons on Duolingo and make heavy use of the brand new Kobo reader Meg got me for Christmas. It's amazing what a pleasure it is to read on a larger eInk screen that's got a very fast refresh rate and the reader itself is very light.

Finally, honing my kindness and looking forward to seeing people again if we can put this damn pandemic behind us.
posted by jzb at 9:37 AM on January 3


I've had two weeks off work and am back at work tomorrow, working from home. 2020 was a shitshow for sure, but 2021 isn't looking great either.

The online Govt vaccine calculator shows I will get the vaccine in September, and even if that's not accurate, it'll still be months before I'm eligible. I live in the district council area with the second highest infection rate in the UK, and I'm told by my upstairs neighbour, who works in the ICU as a breathing specialist, that things are much, much worse than they were in April.

My life is tiny, and lonely, and I'm craving human contact. I see just two people, separately, and outdoors. I've not touched another person since 16 March 2020.

Oh, and I was told just before Christmas that, after 20+ years' service I (along with 700 others at my workplace) will be laid off in May. I will be 62 then, still four years away from pension age. It's not that there's been a downturn in business with my employer - far from it; it's the business model they've changed, replacing full-time employees who get paid holidays and benefits with zero-hours contract staff. If our jobs are made redundant, they won't take us back on a contract basis. They are apparently allowed to do this and we are not unionised.

Happy Fucking New Year.
posted by essexjan at 1:11 PM on January 3 [3 favorites]


essexjan, that's just so shitty. I have also been isolated since March, not always rigorously, as my area has at times been in good shape, but mostly, so I feel the loss of contact. I have bitter, pessimistic thoughts about the world as it is. Anyway, I'm sorry this is happening to you.
posted by theora55 at 5:10 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]


My cat died today. She started getting sick Christmas, but she just kept getting worse and the holidays delayed things twice. She died at the pet hospital and I wasn't there with her. I feel broken forever this time. She was the one thing I had to protect. I didn't know people actually wail in grief uncontrollably, turns out we do.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 5:24 PM on January 3 [9 favorites]


OnTheLastCastle, I'm so, so, so, so sorry. We grieve as we love, so that says a lot about the relationship. Ugh. Sorry.
posted by heyho at 5:30 PM on January 3 [4 favorites]


OnTheLastCastle, I am so very sorry. I'm sure that when the time is right there'll be another cat who needs your love to fill the cat-shaped hole in your heart.
posted by essexjan at 12:32 AM on January 4 [2 favorites]


OnTheLastCastle, that's so terrible. Hugs. I think our pets are truly little guardians for our souls.

I hope you will be appointed another fuzzy lovebug when your soul is ready. Until then, I am sending loving hugs.
posted by mightshould at 5:06 AM on January 4 [2 favorites]


Thank you, that means so much to hear, actually.

And I told my partner I didn't want to wait to get a new friend, we have another cat who is a big loveable goof and he would be great as a dad-cat to a little one. I don't want to wait to give the love I have to share.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 8:32 AM on January 4 [5 favorites]


Totally get that, OnTheLastCastle. Same. When I lose a pet, I don't know what to do with the surplus of love/emotion I'm feeling, and it just makes sense to bring another into the fold to lap it all up and help assuage the pain. I understand it's not how everyone deals, but it's very healing for me to give love/aid/comfort, and there's always a ridiculously adorable furball needing a home and a lot of love, so I think it works out well. It never feels like moving on to me; it feels like sharing love.

I hope the sharp, awful pain is short-lived and that you get to the place of happier memories soon.
posted by heyho at 8:59 AM on January 4 [2 favorites]


Last year I began the process of mentally decoupling from a lot of people who I had come to realize were no longer friends in any real sense of the word, which is to say it had been a long time since they made any effort to keep in touch or otherwise maintain any sort of relationship with me. This has been very difficult, but in terms of resolutions for 2021 I guess on a personal level that's the only one I have, to keep working through the stages of what is pretty much akin to grief caused by loss, and to work to maintain the friendships I still have.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:34 PM on January 4 [3 favorites]


I‘m getting a banjo. There goes the neighborhood.
posted by The Toad at 9:25 PM on January 4 [2 favorites]


The Toad - when we were first in lockdown last March my next-door neighbour (in a unit whose walls adjoin mine) told me she'd bought a trumpet on eBay and was going to teach herself to play it by watching videos on YouTube. Thankfully she moved out in July.
posted by essexjan at 11:23 PM on January 4 [2 favorites]


→ "Not buying any green bananas, then?"

I have literally not bought a banana since last February. Long term fruit just seems like a bad investment.

I've resolved to get a real will in place and finally figure out how to get all my passwords to someone if needed.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 6:04 PM on January 5 [1 favorite]


finally figure out how to get all my passwords to someone if needed

First step I would recommend here is getting all of them in one place for you, using software dedicated to that purpose and no other to manage a database file that you keep on your own storage devices, possibly synced across them using something like Dropbox or OneDrive or Google Drive.

Then, for someone to get all your passwords, all they need is (a) access to one of your devices (2) your KeePass database file's master password, which you can keep a written copy of in the same safe deposit box as all the other stuff you'd want your executor to have access to.
posted by flabdablet at 7:00 AM on January 9


I mean yeah that is what someone with normal executors would do but I cannot emphasize enough the degree to which anyone who would need my passwords is completely tech-avoidant. Anything more advanced than a written list in a lockbox on a table is pretty much going to result in them throwing the laptop into a dumpster and running away.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:24 AM on January 9


First step still applies. KeePassXC can make a nice printed list of all the credentials you store in it. You could keep a regularly updated version of that in your safe deposit box along with the KeePass database master password.

But if they're that tech-avoidant they're probably not going to do anything useful with any of your passwords anyway, which makes the whole exercise moot.
posted by flabdablet at 11:39 PM on January 9


But if they're that tech-avoidant they're probably not going to do anything useful with any of your passwords anyway

With kindness, I think it might be useful to stop talking with such certitude of how tech-avoidant people interact with technology. I've worked with tech avoidant people for over fifteen years and highly technical people barking at them about how to solve their technology problems (in ways that don't work for them for whatever seemingly-not-rational reason) is actually part of the problem and very rarely part of the solution. Tech avoidant people use technology all the time, they have to, and they have whatever set of skills they have. Often learning new software, especially security software, can be challenging, but that doesn't mean they can't log in to a bank account and check a balance or log in to facebook and close an account.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 9:29 AM on January 10


(Also I should note that literally everything you mention, including "a safe deposit box" is a thing I also do not have yet. This is why it's a resolution. If it were resolved, it wouldn't need a resolution.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 5:13 PM on January 10


literally everything you mention, including "a safe deposit box" is a thing I also do not have yet

In that case I'm upgrading my recommendation for getting on board with KeePassXC as a first step to a strong recommendation.

The peace of mind that comes from knowing that your online resources are both much better protected and much harder to forget about easily pays back the inconvenience of password management software's learning curve. Convenience for executors is just gravy.
posted by flabdablet at 9:57 PM on January 11


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