MeFi mod travelingthyme needs help June 26, 2024 7:20 AM   Subscribe

If you've noticed that moderator travelingthyme has not posted here recently, it's for a grave reason: while on a cross-country move, they were involved in a horrible accident that totaled their car, destroyed nearly all of their personal possessions, and tragically cost the life of their father. Now their friend has organized a GoFundMe to help cover medical bills, funeral arrangements, and replacement of everything from lost family keepsakes to household essentials (if you're in the Boston area, contact the organizer to donate items directly!). If you've found any value in this community in the last few years, travelingthyme is part of the reason why it's able to work -- please give what you can to help them recover from this terrible loss.

Note: loup disclosed this news (with thyme's OK) deep into a week-old MetaTalk thread, which is great but still fairly low-visibility. There is a general ban on posting crowdfunding pleas on MeFi, and staff is understandably reluctant to use the site for their own benefit. But I hope an exception can be made for the people who help make the site itself go, especially when they're in circumstances as dire as this.
posted by Rhaomi to MetaFilter-Related at 7:20 AM (58 comments total) 48 users marked this as a favorite

Oh hell, thank you for making this visible.
posted by restless_nomad (retired) at 7:31 AM on June 26 [17 favorites]

What an awful tragedy. Thank you for letting us all know. Donated.
posted by qi at 7:37 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Thank you for the post, so sorry to hear this.
posted by Glinn at 7:48 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Oh my God, I am so sorry.
posted by maryellenreads at 8:07 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]

What a traumatic and tragic thing, sending TT all the healing vibes.
Glad you made this thread - this is absolutely the right time to break a rule. Donated!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:17 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Very sorry to hear this terrible news, thinking of TT and their family.
posted by rpfields at 8:27 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Saw this on mastodon and am glad it has been added here. Made a donation and am sending all the thoughts, vibes, etc to travelingthyme and their family.
posted by terrapin at 8:48 AM on June 26 [3 favorites]

Good call to post this and on the top banner. If this place doesn't rally around its own, what's even the point?
Donated. All the best to TT and family.
posted by signal at 9:33 AM on June 26 [15 favorites]

Wow that is really awful. I'm so sorry to hear this.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:39 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]

So sorry to hear this. I threw what little I could towards the gofundme. Sending all the thoughts and well-wishes I can. <3
posted by Fizz at 9:54 AM on June 26 [3 favorites]

Donated. Best wishes to travelingthyme and their family.
posted by briank at 10:22 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]


I am someone who survived the aftermath of a not-dissimilar car accident (all of my worldly possessions were lost, as well as my lifelong best friend). I genuinely credit the Metafilter community, and Ask Metafilter, for part of how I recovered.

Wishing TravelingThyme moments of peace as they recover from these losses and rebuild themselves and their new life.
posted by samthemander at 10:40 AM on June 26 [29 favorites]

Very sad to hear, and agree that sharing this is the right call.
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:19 AM on June 26 [4 favorites]

I wish TravelingThyme a speedy and complete recovery. May their father rest in peace.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:28 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]


I'm so sorry, travelingthyme, and I hope that your physical recovery comes quickly and supports you as you deal with the pain of this loss.

Thank you for sharing, Rhaomi.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 12:06 PM on June 26 [6 favorites]

Donated. Even after having recently lost a parent myself, I still can't imagine what TT is experiencing.
posted by emelenjr at 12:27 PM on June 26 [4 favorites]

How awful. I'm so sorry to hear this.
posted by capricorn at 12:27 PM on June 26 [3 favorites]

Donated and shared link. Thanks for putting this at the top, I would never have known otherwise.
posted by ZakDaddy at 3:02 PM on June 26 [4 favorites]

Donated. Thank you for posting this, absolutely should be an exception to that rule.
posted by Frayed Knot at 3:59 PM on June 26 [4 favorites]

Thinking of you and your family at this time, travelingthyme. I’m so sorry for your loss.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:00 PM on June 26 [3 favorites]

Oh hell. I'm so sorry. Thanks for posting about this.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:27 PM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Happy to help however I can
posted by yellowcandy at 8:00 PM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Thank you for putting together the post, Rhaomi. And I'm glad this has also been added to the site-wide banner.

travelingthyme, if and when you see this, my deepest sympathy for your loss, and wishes for a speedy recovery.
posted by biogeo at 8:44 PM on June 26 [5 favorites]

Very sorry to hear about TT’s loss. In the Boston area and I just did another storage unit run last night, including a few items on the list that are in new or like-new condition. Will reach out.
posted by Ryvar at 10:47 PM on June 26 [6 favorites]

Donated as well. I survived a fairly horrible car crash in my late teens and can all too well imagine the heartbreak they are experiencing.
posted by spamandkimchi at 11:02 PM on June 26 [7 favorites]

Thank you so much for making this visible. I donated too.
posted by eirias at 6:02 AM on June 27 [4 favorites]

. for the father

And big hugs to traveling thyme, oh my heart breaks.
posted by honey badger at 6:46 AM on June 27 [2 favorites]

I just donated.

Lost my father to a car accident 10 years ago. I was not in the accident but as for the rest, including dealing with the aftereffects, it is all too familiarly painful.

My heart breaks for you TravelingThyme. Try not to dwell too much on the inevitable "what ifs" that will come, and just love each other. That sounds cliche, but is the one truth I took away from what happened to my family.
posted by gudrun at 6:51 AM on June 27 [4 favorites]

I just donated. Trigger warning for the GoFundMe post-accident photo of the vehicle.

Travelingthyme is fortunate to not have perished!
posted by honey badger at 6:57 AM on June 27 [2 favorites]

Travelingthyme, I am so very sorry this happened to you. There are no words. HUGS!
posted by honey badger at 6:59 AM on June 27 [2 favorites]

I am so sorry, travelingthyme, and wishing the best for you and your family.
posted by ourobouros at 7:09 AM on June 27 [2 favorites]

Donated. I am so sorry.
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 7:29 AM on June 27 [2 favorites]

Sorry, take care
posted by elkevelvet at 7:54 AM on June 27 [2 favorites]

Donated. travelingthyme, I'm so sorry this happened. We hold you and your family close.
posted by apartment dweller at 9:16 AM on June 27 [3 favorites]

I'm so sorry travelingthyme <3
posted by Sparky Buttons at 11:23 AM on June 27 [2 favorites]

travelingthyme, I am so sorry, and thinking of you and your family.
Metafilter, thanks for making this visible.
posted by mersen at 7:16 PM on June 27 [3 favorites]

I’m so sorry, travelingthyme. My best to you and your loved ones ♥️
posted by vespertine at 9:32 PM on June 27 [2 favorites]

I'm so sorry. Peace and strength to you and yours.
posted by suelac at 10:15 PM on June 27 [2 favorites]

How dreadful - I'm so sorry travelingthyme - was happy to donate. Heal well - such a hard thing to go through.
posted by leslies at 9:27 AM on June 28 [2 favorites]

Hey gang, I haven't heard back since reaching out - maybe everyone's just busy? There isn't a direct email address, just the gofundme contact form, I'm concerned it didn't work. Any ideas what I should do? (apologies in advance if the real answer is just "hang tight, be patient").
posted by Ryvar at 10:08 AM on June 28 [2 favorites]

The GoFundMe was set up by their friend, so I guess the contact form is the way to go and you just need to wait. If you don't hear back from there let me know and I'll reach out to thyme.
posted by loup (staff) at 11:31 AM on June 28 [3 favorites]

travelingthyme, I'm so sorry about your father, that's devastating. Contributed.
posted by theora55 at 11:38 AM on June 28 [2 favorites]

Loup: thanks. I’ll sit tight then and holler on Monday if I haven’t heard back by then.
posted by Ryvar at 12:40 PM on June 28 [3 favorites]

What a terrible loss. I'm so sorry. I wish you peace.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 2:52 PM on June 28 [2 favorites]

Ryvar: On the gofundme page, it sounds like the friend who set up the gofundme is coordination local donation of items. If you scroll to the bottom of the text, it says:

If you're in the Boston area and would like to donate items such as non-perishable food, freezer meals, kitchenware, toiletries, furniture, houseplants, etc. drop off will be in Revere, MA. Please contact me for details!

It looks like you can contact the friend from the gofundme page, so I would recommend trying that.
posted by litera scripta manet at 7:40 PM on June 28 [2 favorites]

Just got a reply! Think they were just overwhelmed. Everything should be all set.
posted by Ryvar at 7:57 PM on June 28 [9 favorites]

What a gut-wrenching situation. I can't imagine looking forward to starting the next chapter of your life and then this happening. I feel terrible and wish I could do more - donated and sent some wishlist items hoping they are a small help in rebuilding after this tragedy. Many hugs to travelingthyme and family/friends. ❤️
posted by rachaelfaith at 5:52 PM on June 29 [3 favorites]

travelingthyme, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you, and chipping in what I can.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 11:29 AM on June 30 [2 favorites]

Thinking of you, travelingthyme. ❤️
posted by mochapickle at 3:42 AM on July 1 [3 favorites]

I am so sorry. It's appalling.
posted by Jane the Brown at 9:46 AM on July 1 [2 favorites]

Donated. Keeping your family in my thoughts.
posted by M. at 11:21 AM on July 1 [2 favorites]

I donated via the GoFundMe, but if there was an Amazon wishlist or another way to send actual goods, would be happy to send some love that way as well.
posted by honeybee413 at 11:01 AM on July 2 [3 favorites]

Donated and will reach out to the organizer about Boston help.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 11:40 AM on July 2 [2 favorites]

There is an Amazon wishlist noted in the gofundme comments. Here is a link.

In the most recent gofundme comment the organizer says:
Items left to replenish include all clothing basics such as
T shirts, workout clothes, socks, underwear, and toiletries.

They are also hoping to re-unite with a few precious/special interest items that were lost in the wreck such as supplies for their hobbies and passions.

What they’re seeking:
- Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gear: Gi’s, belt and rashguards (see Amazon wishlist)
- Sewing Machine (any condition welcome)
- Houseplants (clippings welcome!!)

posted by gudrun at 4:00 PM on July 2 [5 favorites]

Just donated. I hope it is able to provide some small comfort.
posted by Alensin at 5:57 AM on July 5 [2 favorites]

TT, that is utterly awful and I'm so sorry. You are an extremely lovely person and neither you nor your family deserved such bad, bad, bad stuff. Your family is adorable. I am not cisgender and also a weathered member of the Dead Parents Club from way, way back, so if you ever need some encouraging words, I have a bunch stored up. If you're coming to NYC any time soon, I could probably also steal or source a sewing machine, just saying. All love to everyone you care about and to you especially. It's okay to not be okay for quite a while.
posted by lauranesson at 7:37 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]

traveling thyme, warmest condolences on the passing of your father. I'm sorry it was a traumatic event. Hoping you are recovering little by little. Sending lots of love and warmth to you and family.
posted by mxjudyliza at 5:43 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]

Hi all, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the kind words and support. I can't express how hopeful I'm feeling knowing we aren't alone in this process. I'm taking my time to get back to everyone who's written to me privately, so thank you for hanging in there.

Some updates:
- My partner and I are settled into our apt in Massachusetts. We were able to replace everything and get back into a functioning state of being at home.
- I'm now searching for EMDR therapists as I need a lot more mental support than I expected. (I'm open to any and all referrals for telehealth or local therapists if anyone knows of one)
- I'm dealing with legal matters now which is horrendous to face when I'm in such a deep state of grief, trauma and loss while also trying to keep it together enough for my mother who's dealing with her own loss.
- Lastly, we are relying on rental cars to get around town for errands and for my partner to get to work, if anyone knows of a reputable used car salesperson or used car they'd like to part with in or around Boston, we would be more than grateful. We're open to anything safe and reliable, nothing fancy.

My one ask: If folks could continue sharing the Gofundme with their networks, that would be of immense help. We're still needing to pay for my medical bills, additional lawyer fees, car bills (that we still need to pay for a while despite losing the car entirely) getting mental health support for my mother and myself, and sorting out my family's financial situation. Thank you all again, so so much.
posted by travelingthyme (staff) at 1:47 PM on July 11 [21 favorites]

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