Thread killer! Thread killer in the night. I can kill a thread more than any troll would ever dare try-y. August 19, 2007 2:40 PM   Subscribe

Statistics on thread killers? A lot of people seem to think that they're usually the last ones to post in a thread and I would like this settled once and for all, especially since I thought I'm up for contention, especially recently. Consider this a sort of reverse popularity contest
posted by Deathalicious to MetaFilter-Related at 2:40 PM (121 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

A treat for all you haters
posted by Deathalicious at 2:44 PM on August 19, 2007


Cheer up. It's just the end of a thread, not the world.
posted by IronLizard at 2:47 PM on August 19, 2007


Basically, it would not be that hard for someone with database access to do something like

SELECT username, count(postid)
FROM
users as u1, posts as p1
where
p1.userid=users.userid and
p1.postid >=
( select max(postid) from posts as p2 where p2.threadid=p1.threadid)
group by username
order by 2 desc

And then output the results somehow. Of course, then there's the question of adjusting for total number of posts, maybe something ugly like

SELECT username, ( select count(postid)
FROM
posts as p1
where
p1.userid=u1.userid and
p1.postid >= ( select max(postid) from posts as p2 where p2.threadid=p1.threadid)) / ( select count(postid)
FROM
posts as p3
where
p3.userid=u1.userid)
from users as u1
order by 2 desc
posted by Deathalicious at 2:50 PM on August 19, 2007




You know why dogs smell people's crotches? Because people don't wash up well after they do their business in the bathroom. People, get a jug and pour some water over your nads when you're done so you don't stink. Infidels.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:56 PM on August 19, 2007


There's a difference between killing a thread and dancing on its grave. The last poster in a thread usually isn't the one who gave it the coup de grĂ¢ce.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 2:57 PM on August 19, 2007


"Consider this a sort of reverse popularity contest"

I'd comment in this thread, but I have no idea who Deathalicious is.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:01 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Honestly, it would probably just be a list of people who read farther down on the front page than everyone else. Weeks when I'm really bored at work, I find myself "killing" the threads I comment in more often than not.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:04 PM on August 19, 2007


When my reaction is rather critical I tend to suppress it and in case I happen to be around when the thread is well spent and all the afficionado's had their moment of bonding I make my critical comment.
Is that considerate or overthinking?

(congrats on the circonflex Steven den Beste, dutchman by name. You're evil twin is Steven den Slechtste.)
posted by jouke at 3:05 PM on August 19, 2007


I did this once before. At the time, I must also have thought it seemed like an interesting idea.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:11 PM on August 19, 2007


Now I've got goddamned Rob Halford stuck in my ear shrieking about "He! Is! The threadkiller!"
posted by Wolfdog at 3:19 PM on August 19, 2007


Consider this a sort of reverse popularity contest

Let's not.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 3:33 PM on August 19, 2007


Burhanistan writes "You know why dogs smell people's crotches?"

Because their owners have trained them to deliver oral sex.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:39 PM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Let's not.

Oh but let's. Failure to expand your horizons will turn you into one of the zombie hordes of pretentious dullards we've been so plagued with lately.

Besides, metrics are really really neat.
posted by Ryvar at 3:47 PM on August 19, 2007


you lost mathowie at SELECT username.
posted by quonsar at 4:03 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Honorable mention to the Metatalk thread with a dozen odd comments, all by the OP.
posted by Mitheral at 4:15 PM on August 19, 2007


Can someone build me a machine which will gaze into my navel for me?
posted by Eideteker at 4:35 PM on August 19, 2007 [5 favorites]


Ultrasonic display apparatus having means for detecting the position of an ultrasonic probe

First, in this apparatus, the human body symbolized pattern as to a patient is written in the probe position memory 14 as the locus of the ultrasonic probe 4 by tracing the objective parts of the patient's body before obtaining the tomogram of the patient. In this case, as shown in FIG. 4(a), the navel 31 is elected as the reference point of the human body symbolized pattern. Then with the ultrasonic probe 4 put on the navel position the operator of the probe sets the moveable contact of the switch SW1 to the earth side to reset the auto-reset circuits 8 and 9 with the predetermined initial voltages Vxz and Vyz respectively. The voltages Vxz and Yxz are respectively converted to the digital values for the address signals of the probe position memory 14 by the ADCs 12 and 13 after being adjusted to the desired levels by the variable resistors 10 and 11.

posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:38 PM on August 19, 2007


FYI, Matt- apparently the small tag stops working if it's nested inside the blockquote tag.

posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:40 PM on August 19, 2007


I actually do this, but not here. There's another message board where I am indeed the kiss of death for any thread.

Eponysterical?
posted by cobaltnine at 4:42 PM on August 19, 2007


Honorable mention to the Metatalk thread with a dozen odd comments, all by the OP.
That was Jim Jones.
posted by carsonb at 5:25 PM on August 19, 2007

<small> nested in blockquote worked for me.
posted by carsonb at 5:26 PM on August 19, 2007


Last
posted by strawberryviagra at 5:37 PM on August 19, 2007


You know why dogs smell people's crotches?

Same reason I do, I guess - they smell sexy.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:44 PM on August 19, 2007


I'd say the threadkiller trophy would go to one of the admins.
posted by konolia at 5:48 PM on August 19, 2007


Last comment.
posted by found missing at 5:57 PM on August 19, 2007


That means the threadkiller crotchsmeller trophy goes to the guy with the hat.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 5:58 PM on August 19, 2007


"That means the threadkiller crotchsmeller trophy goes to the guy with the hat."

Hat Maui?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:07 PM on August 19, 2007


I was wondering this for a while but decided it was observation bias, since I notice it most on threads I find interesting, which are also the ones where I keep commenting long after anyone else cares.

So, I prefer to think of it not that I killed the thread, but that I lingered lovingly by its deathbed as it drew its last breath.

Or maybe I'm totally wrong and am a merciless thread killer who should be locked up for the good of society.
posted by salvia at 7:41 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'll bet you good money that threadkilling correlates strongly with use of the My Comments function. Beyond that, I'd be surprised if any significant number of users came out as significantly above-average killers; I can think of a handful of people who tend to do late updates to newsy threads (amberglow's nick keeps popping up in a poli thread now and then, aggregating links), but that's about it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:25 PM on August 19, 2007


I'll bet you good money that threadkilling correlates strongly with use of the My Comments function, combined with living somewhere like Australia, where you're still commenting on threads after all the Americans have gone to sleep.

When the Americans get up the next day, they usually move on to the latest posts. One or two might use My Comments, see that the thread has been embiggened & add another thought or two, whereupon you respond, and eventually you're the last man standing.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:46 PM on August 19, 2007


I bet I'm the most round-the-clock user.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:50 AM on August 20, 2007


Ah, but nothing about being in an off timezone makes lastwordism any easier when there is My Comments.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:13 AM on August 20, 2007


dead yet?
posted by Carbolic at 10:22 AM on August 20, 2007


Heh.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:42 AM on August 20, 2007


Shoot!
posted by Carbolic at 12:34 PM on August 20, 2007


You people are amateurs.
posted by dersins at 12:58 PM on August 20, 2007


That's what she said.
posted by Carbolic at 1:43 PM on August 20, 2007


There's a difference between killing a thread and dancing on its grave.

indeed, although I am often unsure which I am doing, as I tend to end many threads, but at a point when other less dawdle-y people have most likely just moved on to something else... but perhaps because I make some annoyingly long-winded comment that no one really wants to bother responding to. Or, perhaps because I just summed everything up so perfectly no one felt the need to comment further! That's my preferred interpretation. It is, of course, harder to maintain this belief since the introduction of favorites, but I have my ways. Oh, yes I do.
posted by mdn at 1:47 PM on August 20, 2007


I just kind of kick them when they're down. That usually does the trick.
posted by dabitch at 2:13 PM on August 20, 2007


I think DU is the 2007 champ for being first to comment. Now one of you nerds go and prove me right.
posted by Mister_A at 2:29 PM on August 20, 2007


NecroPhilter!
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:02 PM on August 20, 2007


Said Bligh: "I bet I'm the most round-the-clock user."

There's an unnecessary L up there.

And UbuRoivas used an N-word!

Sometimes I love Metatalk.
posted by davy at 10:34 PM on August 20, 2007


(Dammit, I don't like looking at pictures of yucky sores or disgusting activities so I never bother to post links to them.)
posted by davy at 10:36 PM on August 20, 2007


And I'm not much of a fan of necro-bestial-BDSM, so I won't post a link to davy's webcam.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:15 PM on August 20, 2007


Your mom.
posted by Carbolic at 5:46 AM on August 21, 2007


You mom's mom.
posted by FunkyHelix at 7:22 AM on August 21, 2007


Yo greasy, greasy grandaddy.
posted by Carbolic at 9:18 AM on August 21, 2007


So, have I been accused of misogyny lately?
posted by davy at 2:20 PM on August 21, 2007


that depends. have you stopped beating up your girlfriend yet?
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:08 PM on August 21, 2007


I wasn't asking YOU, Ubu.
posted by davy at 3:45 PM on August 21, 2007


Yeah, but if you can't converse with the one you love, love the one you buRoivas.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:49 PM on August 21, 2007


I wasn't asking YOU, Ubu.

Sit, Ubu, sit.
posted by IronLizard at 5:31 PM on August 21, 2007


I'm sitting already. What now? Would you like to know what I'm wearing?
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:42 PM on August 21, 2007


What? No one remembers the guy with the typewriter on PBS? (Was it PBS?)
posted by IronLizard at 9:09 PM on August 21, 2007


I remember, IronLizard. I remember like crazy.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:26 PM on August 21, 2007


What? No one remembers the guy with the typewriter on PBS? (Was it PBS?)

It wasn't PBS. And the guy with the typewriter was different. That was Stephen J. Cannell.

Oh, and Wendell remembers.
posted by dersins at 9:35 PM on August 21, 2007


me ftw, btw.
posted by dersins at 9:36 PM on August 21, 2007


Well, at least I have the right decade. Whatever it was.
posted by IronLizard at 9:50 PM on August 21, 2007


Just to show how confused I am, here's the other typewriter guy that was on PBS.
posted by IronLizard at 9:53 PM on August 21, 2007


Is this something I'd need a TV.....
posted by Carbolic at 8:49 AM on August 22, 2007


You're all a bunch of Nazis.

Last post. BAM!
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 4:20 PM on August 23, 2007


You're all a bunch of Nazis.


I'm thinking of committing genocide on the blurb in your profile.

Fyi.
posted by dersins at 5:01 PM on August 23, 2007


Should I turn out the lights?
posted by Carbolic at 2:09 PM on August 24, 2007


That'd make it damned hard to read.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:12 PM on August 24, 2007


My monitor provides plenty of illumination, so turn off whatever you want.
posted by dersins at 2:20 PM on August 24, 2007


I'd be interested in seeing if there's any consistency to comments that jump the shark so to speak. With posts in the Blue, posts past their peak seem to die off, get sidetracked on sidebar topics or someone's controversial comment, or just get stupid. So is there any pattern to the comments that mark the plateau of posts?
posted by junesix at 3:56 PM on August 24, 2007


MeFites can read??!! Also, I'd like to know which post marks the plateau of stupid.
posted by Carbolic at 8:55 AM on August 27, 2007


Most of us can't read, really, but we sure can type. Lord, yes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:03 AM on August 27, 2007


I'd like to know which post marks the plateau of stupid.

This one.
posted by dersins at 10:12 AM on August 27, 2007


Let's try and keep it that way.
posted by Carbolic at 10:17 AM on August 28, 2007


let's try to keep your FACE that way
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:22 AM on August 28, 2007


Let's try and keep cortex's MOM that way.

and by "that way" I mean "in mathowie's dungeon."
posted by dersins at 10:40 AM on August 28, 2007


Hey, man. He pays union scale+, the benefits are good, she enjoys the work, and none of the masochists leave disappointed. It's a good gig.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:56 AM on August 28, 2007


union scale

And to think I doubted you...
posted by dersins at 12:45 PM on August 28, 2007


Is some admin going to post last in here and close the thread. x21D1; x21D1 ; 8657;
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:55 PM on August 29, 2007


Don't try to hypmotize me with your voodoo codes, man.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:58 PM on August 29, 2007


voodoo veve.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:09 AM on August 30, 2007


May the desert winds blow a pissed off scorpion into your undershorts.
posted by Carbolic at 1:13 PM on August 30, 2007


Hey, screw you, buddy. I don't want no scorpion in my undies.
posted by dersins at 12:21 AM on August 31, 2007


Rattlesnake?
posted by Carbolic at 8:45 AM on September 4, 2007


Snoopy's cousin Spike.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:49 AM on September 4, 2007


He sure was thin. And had a 'stache.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:49 AM on September 4, 2007


Also, he was from Needles.

It's fucking hot there in the summer.
posted by dersins at 9:59 AM on September 5, 2007


so hot
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:12 AM on September 5, 2007


really hot
posted by Carbolic at 12:03 PM on September 5, 2007


feelin' hot hot hot
posted by dersins at 1:03 PM on September 5, 2007


But please don't take off all your clothes.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:17 PM on September 5, 2007


CLOTHESIST!
posted by dersins at 12:00 PM on September 6, 2007


Closet Theist!
posted by Burhanistan at 12:01 PM on September 6, 2007


Wait, you want me to close this?
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:02 PM on September 6, 2007


Only if you're happy to be known as a cheater.
posted by dersins at 12:06 PM on September 6, 2007


Your mother is happy to be known biblically.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:18 PM on September 6, 2007


Without pants where do we keep the fish?
posted by Carbolic at 1:09 PM on September 6, 2007


In mathowie's dungeon with cortex's mom.
posted by dersins at 1:18 PM on September 6, 2007


Watch out for the dungeness crabs down there.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:30 PM on September 6, 2007


Or just bring your crab cracker.
posted by dersins at 5:12 PM on September 6, 2007


Yikes, better let a doctor use that one on your crabs.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:57 PM on September 6, 2007


How close am I going to have to watch this? Do none of you have a life??
posted by Carbolic at 10:23 PM on September 10, 2007


Define "a life."
posted by dersins at 10:49 PM on September 10, 2007


Technically, depriving you of the last comment falls within my job description.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:38 AM on September 11, 2007


Hay guise, watcha dooin?
posted by yhbc at 9:07 AM on September 11, 2007


Hangin'.

You?
posted by dersins at 9:21 AM on September 11, 2007


Man this forum has legs.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:54 PM on September 11, 2007


This legs-man has fora.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:59 PM on September 11, 2007


Sitting in a forum waiting for the end to come.
Threadless tee-shirt, stupid bloody Wednesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your thread grow long.
I am the legs-man, they are the legs-men.
posted by dersins at 8:53 AM on September 12, 2007


And so we kept
The thread alive
A line a day
A-talkin' jive

We all live in a twenty-day-old thread
A twenty-day-old thread
A twenty-day-old thread
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:13 AM on September 12, 2007


Everybody sing along now...
posted by dersins at 1:00 PM on September 12, 2007


la-la-la-la-la-laaaaa...
posted by Carbolic at 2:03 PM on September 12, 2007


I meant everybody who's not Carbolic...
posted by dersins at 4:45 PM on September 12, 2007


I dated a Carbolic girl once, but she was way too pent-up. Cute school uniform, though.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:55 PM on September 12, 2007


Cute school uniform, though.

something like this?
posted by dersins at 5:04 PM on September 12, 2007


That product doesn't work.
posted by Carbolic at 6:41 AM on September 14, 2007


This whole courtroom is doesn't work!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:40 AM on September 14, 2007


Just like us, amirite?
posted by dersins at 8:40 AM on September 14, 2007


dersins, your mom is worried. She said to ask you to answer your phone. She'll be busy for a few, but call soon.
posted by Carbolic at 12:27 PM on September 15, 2007


A few is right.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:37 PM on September 15, 2007


A very small few, IYKWIM.

By the way, my mom's a minister, so you guys are pretty much going straight to hell.

FYI.
posted by dersins at 2:03 PM on September 15, 2007


Yeah, well, my mom's Catholic and my dad's Jewish, so I was damned if I do, damned I don't from the get go.

So it's not really that big a deal if I'm damned if I do your mom.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:12 PM on September 15, 2007


Your mom's Catholic? No wonder she looked so natural in that uniform.
posted by dersins at 2:34 PM on September 15, 2007


and out of it, iykwim.
posted by dersins at 3:31 PM on September 15, 2007


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