Your Best Parody "This Is Just To Say" poems October 27, 2016 9:15 PM   Subscribe

I've searched and couldn't find a post for this, so apologies if there is one and I missed it. I'd like your best/favourite William Carlos Williams "This Is Just To Say" parody poems from the green/blue/grey. I'd also love any other comment on the blue, green or grey that is in any way a parody of an existing text.

In case it matters why I want this...

This weekend, I'm leading PD for teachers called "I'd Steal That" about mentor texts to use in the K-12 (mostly English) classroom. Having actual examples based on real poems/articles/short stories/etc. would be great. It's just another way that Mefi has and will improve the content of my classroom.

Another example that would be great is something like the famous "The Wheel" story - it could easily be style-alike with various short stories, or articles about Special Snowflake kids.

I look forward to your best poems, etc.
posted by guster4lovers to MetaFilter-Related at 9:15 PM (87 comments total) 33 users marked this as a favorite

this was my one contribution to the genre. I also recall seeing a pretty good one at one point which was entirely about the tiredness of the trend of "Carlos Williamsing", as I will clunkily call it, but I am unable to find it.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 9:27 PM on October 27, 2016


mine, lamenting the sad state of public transport in a haiku-oriented thread.
posted by quinndexter at 9:32 PM on October 27, 2016


I try to favourite every one of these I see in the wild here on MeFi...But I just discovered they're hard to find when I search my favourites.

However! I did find these gems:

From neroli in a Metatalk thread called "Did they eat that?" (self explanatory):

This is just to say

I have eaten
the chicken salad sandwich
that was in
the back seat of my car for a week

which
people on the internet
said
would make me sick.

Forgive me
for not following up;
you were so right and I am
so dead

From kcds in a thread called "Time to get in the water, ya?" about a leopard seal that kept bringing a nature photographer half-dead penguins:

i have not eaten
the penguins
that were on
the ice floe

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

forgive me
they were gross
so raw
and so cold

From sambosambo in a Metatalk thread called "Server Snafu" where pb explains how a server mishap deleted quite a few Ask Metafilter answers:

I have eaten
the answers
that were on
the website

and which
you were probably
expecting
to read in the morning

Forgive me
they were delicious
so helpful
and so informative
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:00 PM on October 27, 2016 [16 favorites]


Ooo, I love these!
  • A nixed blue post with the best deletion reason: I have nixed / the post / that was on / the front page / and which / you were probably / intending / for metatalk / forgive me / it was ridiculous / so flagged / and so doomed -- cortex
  • And the metatalk from that thread with lots of "this is just to say" comments
posted by sockermom at 10:01 PM on October 27, 2016 [5 favorites]






I have seen the amazing autogenerating cortex website - thanks! And I personally favourited a lot of these, especially the Crooked Hillary one merriment posted.

Yes. Keep it coming.
posted by guster4lovers at 10:30 PM on October 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Jofus had a projects post about this: This is just to say
posted by dhruva at 10:39 PM on October 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


These are a staple at Making Light.
posted by Bruce H. at 11:39 PM on October 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Maybe it counts as more reference than parody but I liked this.
posted by fleacircus at 1:17 AM on October 28, 2016


The Other White Meat

This is just to say

I have eaten
the manatees
that were in
the ocean

and which
you were probably
saving
from extinction

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so mana-tasty
posted by mattdidthat at 1:45 AM on October 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


I think I've only done it once, in a thread about how twitter is destroying language or something.
posted by phunniemee at 1:48 AM on October 28, 2016


My favourite ever one of these is one I saw on Twitter rather than here, but heck I'm gonna share it anyway.

I have stolen
the cars
that were in your
race

and which
you were planning
to use
in crimes

Forgive me
they were
so fast
and so furious
posted by terretu at 2:05 AM on October 28, 2016 [22 favorites]


The definitive Doge version by maryr:

this just say
very plum fruit
that were in
such iceboks

and...witch?!?
wow. probably
such savings!
breakfasty.

forgivesness please!
many yums.
so sweet
& so cold

(many williams. such carlos.)
posted by billiebee at 2:46 AM on October 28, 2016 [26 favorites]


(damn it stripped the spacing which was part of its genius. Sorry maryr)
posted by billiebee at 2:49 AM on October 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Love love LOVE that manatee one!!

All of these are good and I enjoy every new one that appears on the Blue, like a cheerful dandelion peeking out of a sidewalk crack.
posted by wenestvedt at 3:25 AM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Everyone here should be ashamed.
posted by beerperson at 4:50 AM on October 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


It came up several times in the It's The Guardian Meta. This exchange being my favorite.

Also, from Kabanos in You've been drinking SQUASH FREAKING SPICE LATTES this entire time:
This is just to say

I have eaten
the plum sauce
that was in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
it was deceptive
so squash
and so pumpkin<>
posted by zinon at 4:57 AM on October 28, 2016


One from the Mad Ape Den Day thread. There are a lot of other parodies in there too, including my Hamlet one.
posted by crocomancer at 4:58 AM on October 28, 2016


My apocolypse-themed version from a MetaTalk thread:
I have launched
the missiles
that were in
the silos

and which
you were probably
saving
for a colder war

Forgive me
the button was big
so shiny
and so red
posted by audi alteram partem at 5:05 AM on October 28, 2016 [12 favorites]


'Hey guys we have a whole internet where self-expression is unlimited and'
'okay so let's play mad libs with just the same imagist poem forever'
posted by beerperson at 5:40 AM on October 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


Mine:

This is just to say

there are 7100 Google results
for the words
'this is just to say'
on this website

I wanted to know
how many times
we
had made this joke

Forgive me
I was just so curious
and the computer
was right there
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:05 AM on October 28, 2016 [8 favorites]


In response to the question of "Has the Gaston song supplanted "this is just to say" as the poem/song everybody riffs on yet?":

Gosh it disturbs me to see all those plums
Alone in the icebox so bare
But it's true that I've been craving those plums
And though they're yours I don't care

No plums have flesh half as sweet
No plums have a colour so neat
No plums you've saved for breakfast do I more want to eat
Forgive me, they were delicious
So cold and so sweet
What's more they are so darn nutritious
This is just to say what an incredible treat.

(From the FanFare thread on Beauty and the Beast).
posted by MoonOrb at 6:33 AM on October 28, 2016 [9 favorites]


Me, from a thread about (among other things) butter substitutes masquerading as butter:

this is just to say

i have eaten
that spread
that was in
the icebox

and which
you probably
thought
was butter

Forgive me
it was not butter
it gave me intestinal parasites
i'm so cold
posted by Shepherd at 6:42 AM on October 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


it could easily be style-alike with various short stories

At the risk of repeating myself (I've linked to this comment like fifty times now), Iridic's "New Yorker story as science fiction" parody is one of the best things mefi has ever produced:

Typical New Yorker Story...or is IT?
posted by Greg Nog at 7:14 AM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Cthulhu fhtagn! by nubs
posted by yeolcoatl at 7:21 AM on October 28, 2016


Donnesbury. [sic]
posted by Melismata at 7:27 AM on October 28, 2016


I have favourited
your comment
which was
on MetaFilter.

And now
you probably think
that I think
you're cool.

Forgive me,
I used faves
as bookmarks.
I actually hate you.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 7:54 AM on October 28, 2016 [15 favorites]


Yessssssssss I am on board with this endeavor. sockermom noted my goofy generator, and dhruva mentioned Jofus' collection, so I don't have any heavy hitters to add on the WCW/MeFi front, though I've got a couple personal riffs on it I could track down as well.

But on other playing-with-a-text fronts, there's been a number of threads over the years riffing on the juxtaposition of two texts, or of one text and the broader collection of literature and pop lit. This Dune + Lebowski one remains a personal favorite, but there's likely a bunch more meat linked on the wiki's Extended Riffing Sessions page.

Anyway, because I get never ending joy out of playing mad libs with the same imagist poem forever, this is what came out this morning when I caught up with this:

Just Sayin'

i et
the plums
in the fridge

yโ€™all probs
were planning
to nosh

my bad
they were cold
and delish
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:08 AM on October 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


THIS IS JUST TO SAY
posted by Rock Steady at 8:20 AM on October 28, 2016


I managed to work one into a "Can I eat it?" AskMe.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:25 AM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


beerperson: Everyone here should be ashamed.

Ooh, sorry. Your objection must be in the form of a question William Carlos Williams "This Is Just To Say" poem.

Perhaps you'll have better luck in our next category, "Potent Potables."
posted by zarq at 8:25 AM on October 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


According to cortex
when MetaTalk fell
it was autumn

a user was posting
a link
the whole pageantry

of the site was
awake tingling
near

the edge of humor
concerned
with itself

parodying the poem
that melted
the site's host

unsignificantly
off the web
there was

a splash quite unnoticed
this was
beerperson dying
posted by beerperson at 8:32 AM on October 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


๐Ÿ“
๐Ÿ˜€
๐Ÿ’
๐Ÿ†’โ„น๏ธ๐Ÿ†–๐Ÿ”ฒ
๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ•–โ“
๐Ÿ˜ข
๐Ÿ˜‹
๐Ÿฌโ—๏ธ
โ„๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ
posted by the quidnunc kid at 8:43 AM on October 28, 2016 [32 favorites]


plum eating
plan beating
cold sweeting
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:43 AM on October 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Not on Metafilter, but a thread I participated in... Nigerian 419 spam transmuted into a wide variety of poetic styles, including WCW.
posted by Shmuel510 at 8:44 AM on October 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


plum eating
plan beating
cold sweeting


I can't not read this as Larry David as Steinbrenner on Seinfeld mangling the lyrics to "Heartbreaker."
posted by griphus at 8:48 AM on October 28, 2016


[I have deleted
the jokes
that were in
this thread

and which
you were
saving
for a time when you thought I had no electricity

forgive me
they were so ripe
so deserving
good night.]
posted by jessamyn
posted by Adridne at 9:06 AM on October 28, 2016 [9 favorites]


This Is Just To Say

I have taken
the Jews
Communists
and trade unionists
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

And Niemรถller
you are
next

posted by Mayor West at 9:28 AM on October 28, 2016 [9 favorites]


posted by beerperson Everyone here should be ashamed.

I have parodied
the poem
that has become
a joke

of which
you were probably
getting
quite tired

Forgive me
it was tempting
so obvious
and so shameless
posted by mattdidthat at 10:23 AM on October 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hey, I had one of these!

This Is Just To Say
I have scanned
the cat
that was in
your luggage


and which
you were probably
hiding
from the TSA


Forgive me
it was a surprise
so cute
and so irradiated
posted by blurker at 11:16 AM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]




My new favorite, from mosk:

I have photographed
the plums
that were in
the icebox

by placing them on
the nude form of
your wife

Forgive me
she was available
and believed me
when I said it was "for art"
posted by Kabanos at 11:51 AM on October 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


There was this FPP about "Classic Poems, Updated for the Internet Age" from the hairpin. Predictably, the comments were mefites (disclaimer: I was one of them) doing their own parody poems, including two "This is just to say poems," (here and here) but you may want to check the other comments in the original thread since all of them are parody poems.
posted by litera scripta manet at 11:51 AM on October 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Also this poetic collaboration of William Carlos Williams and Donald H. Rumsfeld.
posted by Kabanos at 11:59 AM on October 28, 2016


I used to keep this one in my dating profile:

This is Just to Say

I have deleted
the dick pics
that were in
my inbox

and which
you were probably
hoping
were sexy

Forgive me
they were ridiculous
so pink
and so poky
posted by notquitemaryann at 12:28 PM on October 28, 2016 [21 favorites]


From another thread about Wendy Carlos:

This is just to say
I have electronicized
the Beethoven
That was on your soundtrack

which
you probably
weren't expecting

Forgive me
it was awesome
so sweet
and horrorshow
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:16 PM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


wait, The Wheel was a parody? of what?
posted by rebent at 2:58 PM on October 28, 2016


Not a peach on any above offerings, but inspired by a recent-ish FPP about computer-generated poetry I came up with a lot of naively-randomised, word-fruit-salad stuff in the following vein, none of which quite hit my sweet spot for tongue-in-peach posting at the time.
Out Had Sunsoakin' I'd Peach

Roots take to
bulges gonna
fist take from
ant peaches

candy of
dreamed were peaches
from
bulges you

If were
finger to hide
by fist
hand there peach
also:
And Factory Peaches They Where

All shade they
all downtown
poked nature's lot
you candy

factory eat
downtown millions can
hand
from they

Free all
eat pie country
downtown they
fist peach for
Juuuust about worth it for the PUSA joke. Forgive me!
posted by comealongpole at 3:13 PM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have made several. I like this the best. About the maple syrup theft in Canada.


I have eaten
the maple syrup
that was in
the warehouse

and which
you were probably
saving
for waffles

Forgive me
it was delicious
so sweet
and so sticky
posted by Splunge at 3:16 PM on October 28, 2016


For Bob Dylan


This is Just to Say

I have borrowed
The guitar
That leaned in
Parlor

And which
You had probably
Tuned
To your liking.

Forgive me
The words and chords
They were seditious
So sweet
And so bold.
posted by Oyรฉah at 3:35 PM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Paint
The fucking barrow
With red wheel zeal
Coopers' spark plug

Hub of 30 spokes.
posted by clavdivs at 4:22 PM on October 28, 2016


I wrote one about pips and jonmc on metachat, but I can't find it.
posted by brujita at 4:29 PM on October 28, 2016


via tumblr: Your protagonist is petrified of the letter โ€œLโ€, explain why without using โ€œLโ€.

This is just to say

I have removed
the dozenth character
that was in
your orthography

and which
I imagine you intended to use
as the unique representation
of a certain phoneme

Forgive me
it was a voiced approximant
produced by directing the airstream over the sides of the tongue
and so terrifying
posted by btfreek at 10:12 PM on October 28, 2016 [13 favorites]


That reminds me of the time the e key went out on my keyboard and I tweeted some WCW about it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:17 PM on October 28, 2016


It's not directly This is Just to Say related, but I've always thought this thread of famous poems rewritten as limericks was one of my favorite things on Metafilter.
posted by whir at 10:47 PM on October 28, 2016


My one contribution was from Bad Translator.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:56 PM on October 28, 2016


One time in law school I actually accidentally ate my new-ish roommate's plums out of the fridge and she was super pissed and I recited the poem while laughing hysterically and she had never heard of it and thought I might be insane but then I showed it to her and she laughed hysterically and then I bought her new plums and we taped the poem to the fridge and then we lived together for three years and that is why all parodies of this poem make me smile because eating the wrong plums from the icebox is a UNIVERAL HUMAN EXPERIENCE and she was a really good roommate and I was a bridesmaid in her wedding even though I once stole her plums so even though a lot of William Carlos Williams poems are about things he notices while doctoring dying children and kinda depressing sometimes they have happy endings where you're still friends fifteen years after the plum eating incident and anyway forgive me this sentence
so long
and so rambling
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 1:36 AM on October 29, 2016 [35 favorites]


I've always been partial to this one via theWhiteSkull:

This is just to say

I drank
the coffee
that was in
the Chemex

and which
you probably
made
for breakfast

Forgive me
I...oh- you seem
to have
stabbed me
posted by sockpup at 2:34 AM on October 29, 2016 [10 favorites]


Context is everything (well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it)

This is just to say

I have eaten
the fish
that were below
the icesheet

and which
you were probably
saving
for another planet

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so extraterrestrial
posted by patricio at 2:41 AM on October 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


From a thread discussing the use of famous poetry in advertising

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the Plum-alicious Froot-Blasters (tm)
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for Breakfast, Snacktime, or Any Time!

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
and so Resfreshtastically Plumalicious! (tm)
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:07 AM on October 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


Mine, from a politics thread, which made more sense in context:

This Is Just To Say

I have posted
your joke comment
21 seconds
before you did

and you
probably
thought it was
pretty original

Forgive me
it was funny
and we're running
on the same scripts
posted by Spathe Cadet at 9:50 AM on October 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Mine is about this very phenomenon, sort of.

But the WCW parody I'm proudest of is a parody of another poem entirely.
posted by gauche at 6:52 PM on October 29, 2016


The presentation was a big success, and I have loved reading these. Thanks for making all of my William Carlos Williams dreams come true.
posted by guster4lovers at 7:40 PM on October 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


These were probably funnier in context, but I did these two
posted by Mchelly at 9:23 AM on October 30, 2016


...aaaand I just realized I answered too late.

I could probably write a WCW poem about that.
posted by Mchelly at 9:24 AM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think I have only done this once in an email to my wife about some bolognese that she was probably saving for another meal. It was delicious.

This is just to say
I have eaten
some of the bolognese
that was leftover
in the pan

and which
you were probably
saving
for another meal

Forgive me
it was delicious
so flavourful
and so rich
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 10:03 AM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


My sole effort in this genre was limited by Twitter's character count, so it's a little short:

This is just to say
I have purchased
the last two cans
of Manischewitz macaroons
at Wegmans
even though
so much matza
was still there
posted by thomas j wise at 10:13 AM on October 30, 2016


My favorite one of these is from zamboni, and requires you to know that WCW has also stood for "World Championship Wrestling":
This is just to say

I have stolen
the folding chair
that was hidden
next to the ring

and which
you were probably
saving
for Ric Flair

Forgive me
it was so shiny
so metal
and so foreign
posted by Huffy Puffy at 11:29 AM on October 30, 2016 [6 favorites]


How about a brand new one?

This is just to say

I have come for
the Jews
that were not
spoken for

and which
you were probably
leaving
for communists

forgive me
the trade unionists
silent
and so cold
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:40 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


I am honored to have mine mentioned above.
posted by maryr at 3:25 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


'Hey guys we have a whole internet where self-expression is unlimited and'
'okay so let's play mad libs with just the same imagist poem forever'


The Cask of William Carlos Williams

I have borne
the thousand injuries
of Fortunato
the best I could

and which
you will not suppose
I gave
utterence

"For the love of God
Montresor!"
Yes
For the love of God.
posted by maryr at 3:35 PM on October 30, 2016 [13 favorites]


I work best in memes, apparently.
posted by maryr at 3:35 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


I made a "plums" parody poem on facebook recently about an ongoing debate amongst my friends about shit Halloween candy, and it got an embarrassing number of likes. I was tempted to say "THIS IS A METAFILTER THING I'M ACTUALLY NOT THAT CREATIVE" but I didn't because I'm a whore for social media engagement.

It was as follows:

I have eaten
the Dots
that were left behind
by [name redacted]

and which
you, [name redacted],
were never going
to eat.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so soft
and so gummy

(Also I hereby recommend Dots for your obscure Halloween candy enjoyment)
posted by Sara C. at 5:32 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]


There are several Star Wars ones in this thread.
posted by Violet Hour at 9:54 PM on October 30, 2016


I can't believe I've only posted two to the Blue, but here they are.

WCW's wife Floss' "response" and poet Kenneth Koch's parody series are also well worth looking at.
posted by ilana at 9:56 PM on October 30, 2016


This is just to say

The tumblr site
I maintained
somewhat sporadically
and infrequently

in which
i would paste
posts from here
has fallen silent

forgive me
i have so many tumblrs
so dumb
so very very dumb

(email me if you'd like to be added as an admin. it is a nice thing that I don't have time to make nicer)
posted by Jofus at 4:00 AM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]


I wrote this one for the new class of students at my med school right before they started in August:
This Is Just to Say

You are getting
quite close
to starting
your first year

and so
you are probably
feeling
nervous

Forgive me
I am excited
to see
what you'll do
And according to Jofus's tumblr, I had this one from a thread in 2009:
I liked the part where there were bearded men dancing. So lithe and so hairy. (Cold Lurkey)

This is just to say

I have ogled
the hipsters
that were in
the video

and which
you were probably
ogling,
too, yourself

And goddamn,
they were delightful
so lithe
and so hairy
posted by ocherdraco at 8:37 AM on October 31, 2016


I wrote this one, ostensibly from Jessamyn, once upon a time.
posted by kindall at 5:40 PM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]


I also came back to say that there is no such thing as "too late" as I will continue to give this workshop.

Plus, it personally amuses me.
posted by guster4lovers at 6:02 PM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]


There once were some plums in the fridge,
The breakfast, for saving, of which.
But they just looked so nice,
That I took them off ice,
My apologies for the nutritional glitch.

I still don't get haiku.
posted by quinndexter at 3:22 AM on November 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


Cold, delicious plums:
What the fuck is an ice box?
Whatever. You lose.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:00 AM on November 2, 2016


The best ever which I send to literary friends & family who know the original by heart and call me a monster for inflicting this on them:

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the chips
that were in
your [buttock] crack

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so salty
and so warm.
posted by ASCII Costanza head at 1:07 PM on November 2, 2016


And here's mine.
posted by bryon at 1:51 AM on November 3, 2016



I have bitten
the pop
that has inside
A tootsie roll

and which
you were slowly
licking
for answers

Forgive me
It was delicious
so sweet
ask the owl
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:29 AM on November 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


How did I miss this. Ah well, this one isn't perfect form, but it is autobiographical:

I have rebuilt
the fence
that was in
the backyard

and which
your dogs were
breaking
through daily

Forgive me
I have nicknamed you
the Fucktussels
you goddamn rednecks
posted by middleclasstool at 8:48 PM on November 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


inspired by middleclasstool...

This Is Just To Say Something There Is That Doesn't Love A Wall

I have mended
the wall
that kept out
your apples

and which
you were probably
questioning
metaphorically

Forgive me
like Dad said
good fences
make good neighbors
posted by maryr at 11:34 AM on November 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


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