Sans quoi?

March 10, 2008 5:30 AM

Is sansgras the new Kaycee?

netbros and Oriole Adams have started asking questions in her latest thread, and it does seem like something is off.

posted by heatherann to MetaFilter-related at 5:30 AM (3647 comments total)

I think Oriole Adams is probably correct that we're dealing with this person, in which case closing the sangras account is probably in order.
posted by orange swan at 5:40 AM on March 10

Ugh. Ban with extreme prejudice.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:50 AM on March 10

May I just slip in a small word of encouragement to people to use links rather than pasting entire multipage articles (or entire song lyrics with every last repetition transcribed, etc) into threads? Please do. Thanks.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:51 AM on March 10

Could we ban everyone who posts long winded open-ended, over-dramatic relationship questions, fakepost or not?
posted by furiousxgeorge at 5:53 AM on March 10 [11 favorites]

No way, furiousxgeorge. Some of us like the vicarious drama. We don't all have stoned chihuahuas at home to liven things up.
posted by orange swan at 5:56 AM on March 10 [6 favorites]

Anyone that prompts responses like this has to be kept around:

Oh god, I didn't realise it was you, sansgras.
posted by smackfu at 5:59 AM on March 10

Whoa.

I like relationshipfilter questions, but this one smelled weird, so I stopped reading early on.
posted by rtha at 6:02 AM on March 10

No way, furiousxgeorge. Some of us like the vicarious drama. We don't all have stoned chihuahuas at home to liven things up.

Yeah, but my meth addicted WNBA player sex-addict girlfriend stole that dog when she dumped me and stole my kids and moved to Estonia.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 6:05 AM on March 10 [5 favorites]

Ditto, rtha. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the joints felt too loose somehow.
posted by tentacle at 6:07 AM on March 10

Yeah, but my meth addicted WNBA player sex-addict girlfriend stole that dog when she dumped me and stole my kids and moved to Estonia.

I don't know whether to admire your restraint for not posing a relationship/legal issues/health AskMe about that one, or urge you to do so immediately.
posted by orange swan at 6:10 AM on March 10

I don't know whether to admire your restraint for not posing a relationship/legal issues/health AskMe about that one, or urge you to do so immediately.

Well I don't want my wife to find out about the affair, I just told her I sent the kids to a private school in Europe.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 6:13 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Wouldn't it be more entertaining to flag accounts like this so that all their postings carried the disclaimer "NOTICE: This posting is a form of interactive fiction. You are welcome to participate, but the question is not being asked in earnest."

No? OK. Just a thought.
posted by adamrice at 6:14 AM on March 10 [16 favorites]

I like adam's idea. I am perverse, and revel in the uncomfortable, so take it with a grain of salt.
posted by Mister_A at 6:23 AM on March 10

Ditto, rtha. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the joints felt too loose somehow.
posted by tentacle

Eponysterical!

It's funny - I don't usually check someone's posting history unless they specifically reference it, and in this case, I reckon if I had checked it, the smell would've knocked me off my feet instead of just giving me a small headache.

I don't get people who pull this kind of shit.
posted by rtha at 6:23 AM on March 10

Well, this is embarrassing. I guess I should read the posting history before trying to answer a question like that one again.
posted by rosebuddy at 6:30 AM on March 10

Now I'm curious and workplace blocks Encyclopedia Drammatica.
*shakes fist at websense*
posted by pointystick at 6:32 AM on March 10

Cortex? Jess? It's ok to spike your coffee this morning, we understand.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:34 AM on March 10

pointystick, an executive summary:

• member of LiveJournal pro_ana community
• claimed to be all of the following simultaneously: a doctor, married, pregnant with twins, a firefighter
• had an LJ community created specifically to pray for her/wish her well
• said she was going to Africa to work for Doctors Without Borders
• organized a get-together for fellow pro_ana members and then didn't make reservations, plans, or even an appearance

And now apparently she's here.
posted by oaf at 6:38 AM on March 10 [3 favorites]

Encyclopedia Dramatica is down at the moment anyway. But it's in the Google cache.
posted by litlnemo at 6:39 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

You know, if that question were to be set to music, the song would have to be Why, by Annie Lennox.
posted by orange swan at 6:39 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Holy cow.
posted by Miko at 6:39 AM on March 10

Thanks, guys.
Fishy indeed!
posted by pointystick at 6:40 AM on March 10

I guess I should read the posting history before trying to answer a question like that one again.

No no no. See, there are those among us with spidey sense, or armies of winged monkeys, or impossible amounts of time, or all of the above. They are able to do the detective work for the rest of us and because of their vigilence you don't have to mistrust questions. Act and interact openly, but know that your every move may be picked over by a crack team of far-flung, minutia-obsessed nerds with long memories, and if you pee in our pool they will find you, and fuck you up.

I am not one of these peacekeepers, but I stand in awe of them, and enjoy the freedoms that their sacrifice affords me.

I'm serious.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:43 AM on March 10 [19 favorites]

The suspicions were mounting as her claims got wilder and wilder, and the shit finally hit the proverbial fan when she organized a get-together for her fellow pro-anas, and then neglected to make reservations, plans, or even show up, leaving a herd of dazed and angered anas stranded in the middle of Los Angeles.

Is it just me, or is that last clause really damn funny?
posted by orange swan at 6:43 AM on March 10 [14 favorites]

Fascinating
posted by Wilder at 6:46 AM on March 10

Response from sansgras in original thread.

I'm always torn with these. The stories are fantastic, but some people really do have messed up, drama-filled lives. How do we tell the difference between Kaycee and Britney if they're posting on AskMe?
posted by heatherann at 6:47 AM on March 10

For the record, I'm not convinced the post is fake. Could be, but I'll wait to hear what the mods say.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:47 AM on March 10

This boggles my mind. I addressed many of the issues here in my latest response in my last question, so I hope that clears things up.

Regarding the sansgras issue-- Sansgras was a member on a well-known eating disorder support board. I did not join that board until after she did everything she did. I haven't read the links posted only because I remember reading them initially when they were created by users of the board I'm talking about. I know she claimed to be a doctor, to have lived in Africa, she also stood a bunch of the girls up in California. She was also in her 30s. I can vaguely recall her pictures.

Sans gras = French for "without fat." I can't tell you how many times I've seen my username as a username on eating disorder support sites.

As I mentioned in my response in my latest question, if I wasn't trying to be identifiable, why would I sign up under a username I was using elsewhere? I still haven't googled sansgras, but I really have no need to because I know none of those results are tied to me, considering I haven't used this username until now. I said that a few weeks ago when someone here asked me if Sansgras is my first name.
posted by sansgras at 6:48 AM on March 10

Additonally, I don't understand how I could be banned as a user. I've posted questions, people have answered. I haven't formed close ties with anyone as a means to manipulate them into giving me money or something. I've answered every question. Every suggestion that I am someone else is only speculation. I'm sorry my story is a mess (in terms of content), but that is the reason I came here in the first place. I was looking for objective advice. I hope I never have to ask another question.
posted by sansgras at 6:51 AM on March 10

I hope I never have to ask another question.

So do we.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 6:54 AM on March 10 [3 favorites]

Well, this is embarrassing. I guess I should read the posting history before trying to answer a question like that one again.

This is why I hate shit like this. This person's need to entertain her/himself has resulted in increasing the amount of cynicism about what one sees on the internet even more, and made it less likely that the commenter will want to participate in AskMe for fear that he or she is being tricked. We could make of the internet any type of world that we want, but instead we have turned it into the kind of place that made me feel the need to sit my mother down and give her a five minute warning about when I found out the she had joined a listserv.

On preview: I hope that your denials are genuine, but you sound like you are lying. I have no way of knowing one way or the other, but people here do, and I look forward to their determination.
posted by ND¢ at 6:56 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

I have no way of knowing one way or the other, but people here do, and I look forward to their determination.

Huh? What methods could 'people here' use to determine if she was lying or not? At most, they could see if she was someone's sockpuppet. But if not, then what? Is Matt supposed to lookup her IP, hire a P.I. and have her followed to determine if her stories are real?

Also, responding to your more general point, ND¢, an internet where honesty was mandatory would have to have some pretty extreme enforcement mechanisms. Yes, people lie and try to scam each other. It's annoying but it's better then having some central authority dictating controlling everything and dictating what is and is not 'true'. (I'm talking about the internet in general here, not Metafilter itself)
posted by delmoi at 7:05 AM on March 10

Very strange, for sure.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:08 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Why would sansgrace join an eating disorder board under the same username as a notoriously repellent shit-monger and liar? Eh? She apparently knew the history of the name when she joined the mysterious board in question:

I haven't read the links posted only because I remember reading them initially when they were created by users of the board I'm talking about.

That sure sounds like, "I read those entries when they were first posted," which means that sansgrace claims to have deliberately joined under the same name, knowing it was the tag of a hated former member, but with the best of intentions. Either that or she/he/it is completely full of shit. By applying the principle known as Occam's razor, sansgrace is probably full of shit.
posted by Mister_A at 7:09 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

I am not proposing an internet where honesty is enforced. I suppose I am talking about encouraging honesty through the culture. I suppose the internet is just too big for that.

As for the some people can find out remark, I wasn't trying to sound ominous. It just seems like whenever there is a MeTa thread about who someone is that people seem to find out, and it has never in the past involved Matt hiring a P.I. I don't know how they do it, but they seem to do it.
posted by ND¢ at 7:09 AM on March 10

I guess that I am expressing my faith in the Mefi detective brigade. They have never let us down yet.

Watch this be the first time. Stupid Mefi detectives, making me look like a jerk.
posted by ND¢ at 7:13 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

We've got our pitchforks out, gotta use them.
posted by smackfu at 7:14 AM on March 10

Oh man. I'm not sure what was more pathetic - the actual question in that thread or the fact that so many people posted 'dump the loser' in the face of a conjoining of two of the most potentially vapid, self-unaware twits to ever grace the face of the internet. It makes better comedy than reality but I think, unfortunately, it's probably a real person.
posted by docpops at 7:15 AM on March 10 [5 favorites]

It just seems like whenever there is a MeTa thread about who someone is that people seem to find out

That's true, but sansgras has zero personal information in her profile, and the people who get outed are usually self-linkers who leave a trail of breadcrumbs across the internet in their quest for self-promotion.

But here, there are no leads for the MeFi detective squad to follow, unless you assume that all sansgrases are the same person, in which case you could google the name and come up with all kinds of Drama, I'm sure.

Now, I haven't actually read her questions, and perhaps they are really ridiculous, and maybe that's enough to ban her outright, I really have no idea how Matt would handle this.

But I don't think anyone will actually be able to determine the veracity of her stories, beyond any superficial absurdity.
posted by delmoi at 7:17 AM on March 10

Why would we want the administrators to ban someone who adds to our enjoyment of the site? That is so backwards. If anything they should ban heatherann for trying to chase away our beloved sansgras!
posted by 1 at 7:19 AM on March 10

Is Matt supposed to lookup her IP, hire a P.I. and have her followed to determine if her stories are real?

A MeFi P.I. would be the greatest thing ever. Better than Magnum even.

The only question is, what kind of detective would the MeFi P.I. be? Would he be old-school like Sam Spade? A 70s throwback like Shaft? Perhaps a psychic female detective that has visions of MetaFilter evildoers. The possibilities are limitless.
posted by burnmp3s at 7:20 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

I am thinking one P.I. just won't cut it. This demands a buddy cop team.
posted by boubelium at 7:22 AM on March 10

Oooh! Oooh! I want to be MeFi's Magnum PI! I'd live in a beach house, drive an expensive sports car, hang out with fun buddies, and be dating a different, hot man every episode. Then, in the last episode, I'd reveal that Matt Haughey is really Miguel Cardoso. Or should that be the other way around?
posted by orange swan at 7:23 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Peter Falk.
posted by Mister_A at 7:23 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

This makes no sense to me. Why in the world would you choose such a notorious username risking confusion? It's one thing if you randomly made it up and it's a strange coincidence, but you are apparently quite familiar their online history and yet you persist on using that name? That's just... weird.



Orange swan:

leaving a herd of dazed and angered anas stranded in the middle of Los Angeles.

Is it just me, or is that last clause really damn funny?

It's funny because it describes a typical Saturday night on Sunset blvd. ;)
posted by like_neon at 7:24 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

ND¢, lets say honesty is encouraged in the internets, and it works. After a few months exposed to mostly honest people, I would drop my default attitude from highly skeptic to somewhat trusting. I guess most people would do the same. Then someone not familiar with the culture shows up, and starts lying. They could get away with anything.

I welcome the occasional Kaycee immunization and the very frequent giveWell booster shots.
posted by Dr. Curare at 7:25 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

A MeFi P.I. would be the greatest thing ever.

Plus, sansgras would probably notice and start posting askmes about a spooky interloper watching her, following her, always on the edges of her perceptual periphery. And everyone will think she's even crazier*.

_{(*note that crazyness is based on the comments here, not on ready her posts. Maybe they are reasonable, I don't know)}
posted by delmoi at 7:25 AM on March 10

I know sansgras has claimed she doesn't want to talk about her personal information, but I'm asking everyone else:

Are there many one-year Master's programs? I always thought they were standardly two years.
posted by Ms. Saint at 7:26 AM on March 10

Here's a one-year M.A. program.
posted by oaf at 7:28 AM on March 10

Are there many one-year Master's programs? I always thought they were standardly two years.

I have a friend who got a masters in Human Computer Interaction at CMU in like 18 months.
posted by delmoi at 7:28 AM on March 10

Then someone not familiar with the culture shows up, and starts lying. They could get away with anything.

But now the opposite happens. Everyone that is familiar with the culture of the internet knows to assume that someone is lying to them unless proven otherwise and then my poor sweet momma shows up and is mailing checks to Nigeria and forwarding e-mails so that Bill Gates will send her a dollar.

Note: my momma did not do either of those things, but she is very sweet.
posted by ND¢ at 7:29 AM on March 10

Clearly one of the mods is up. A comment in the AskMe thread just got torpedoed.
posted by oaf at 7:30 AM on March 10

I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt until she said she had heard of the pro-anorexia board (first I've heard of anything like that - thanks for that link!) and even knew of the previous sansgras drama over there. No way that's a coincidence.
Also, the claims of early graduate dregrees and suchlike reminds me of un owen. Whatever happened to her?
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:30 AM on March 10

There are plenty of big time Universities that have one year MAs. It is usually in programs in which an MA gets you nowhere and everyone is there to continue on to the Ph. D.
posted by boubelium at 7:32 AM on March 10

It's kinda weird to pick the name of a much-reviled persona on one community when you join another one. Not sure there is a smoking gun though.
posted by grouse at 7:33 AM on March 10

Ms. Saint - Yes, there are such things as 1 year Master's programs
posted by like_neon at 7:33 AM on March 10

I chose the username because I like the meaning. I wouldn't expect people who don't frequent eating disorder message boards to know this, but I've seen sansgras as a username plenty of times. It didn't occur to me that people would think I am Beth for this reason. Even today when I see this username elsewhere, I don't automatically, unconsciously assume that person is Beth.

I discovered MetaFilter through the message board I mentioned earlier, where I am identifiable, so I would imagine that if any of those users saw my questions or this thread, they would recognize who I am.

I didn't think there was a risk of confusion because:

1. The only thing Beth and I have in common is that we both have eating disorders and we were both a member of the same message board, although she was banned and gone a few years before I joined. I only know the story through reading about it elsewhere.

2. I didn't expect that anyone would think that I'm so careless in my quest to be anonymous that I would accidentally choose the same username (assuming I am Beth), the same common French phrase that really isn't all that unique, after already knowing it's linked to so many things.
posted by sansgras at 7:38 AM on March 10

That question had one of the best parentheticals ever:

(a lot of heavy kissing and touching, yet I was not allowed to touch his parts. He did not have an erection.)
posted by mullacc at 7:41 AM on March 10

Additonally, I don't understand how I could be banned as a user. I've posted questions, people have answered. I haven't formed close ties with anyone as a means to manipulate them into giving me money or something. I've answered every question. Every suggestion that I am someone else is only speculation. I'm sorry my story is a mess (in terms of content), but that is the reason I came here in the first place. I was looking for objective advice. I hope I never have to ask another question.

Well, you saw the sansgras drama on the eating disorder forum. I linked to the Kaycee Nicole drama in my original post. There have been fake posters on Metafilter, and it pissed us off. We're a bit skittish about potentially being gamed again.

If you're legit, AskMe should be a safe space for you to get objective advice, and I think that it has been until now. People in the situation you've described would do well to move out and become independent, seek therapy, DTMFA, etc. If you're not legit, you can understand why we would be peeved about wasting our time on fictional drama and therefore ban you. Right now we're not sure which situation we're dealing with.

If you are legitimate, please bear with us as we try to sort it out.
posted by heatherann at 7:41 AM on March 10

The only reason I didn't mention the one year master's program, called an SMP, is because there are only a few of them around (15 or so?), and although I never mentioned my field specifically, I've mentioned other things I want to do professionally-speaking, so it's not difficult to put two and two together and figure out what I'm talking about. Again, with the not wanting to be identifiable.

And if I was Beth, the integral part of her story is that she claims to be a doctor. I'm claiming to be 20, a former graduate student, not a doctor.
posted by sansgras at 7:42 AM on March 10

Here's a link to a list of one year M.S. programs in the U.S., geared toward people who are looking to kill time, increase GPA, etc. before medical school:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=489913
posted by sansgras at 7:46 AM on March 10

This is all getting very Meta.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:48 AM on March 10

While this certainly does look suspicious, sansgras says above:

Sans gras = French for "without fat." I can't tell you how many times I've seen my username as a username on eating disorder support sites.

I have no idea whether the latter assertion is true, but if it is—if "sansgras" is a common username—then I'd say she gets the benefit of the doubt.

Either way, I loved this "Amusing quote" from the Encyclopedia Dramatica article:

Bethie,

I tried to communicate with you telepathically. Pretty flakeyville, hunh? I just felt this strong compulsion when I guess I could have been sleeping but I figured I could sleep later, and I did. I hope you wake up soon. We miss you, tht's all. Take your time as you need, I told you, but I really miss you and flakeyville or not, I hope you felt/heard me last night. I keep lighting candles for you, sweetheart. I think of you every day, I really do. I heart you, big time. I'm going to write you a letter and maybe Chris could read it to you. Btw, that postage stamp on the letter you sent to me was so cute! I loved the teddy bear with the presents design of it. I didn't see any US stamps as cute or cool as that one. It's a keeper. :) xo Siobhan

Current Mood: keeping the faith

posted by languagehat at 7:48 AM on March 10

I am sparatcus.
posted by yhbc at 7:50 AM on March 10

Omigod, a link! She must be legit. IF THAT URL GOES TO A LEGIT 1-YEAR MASTER'S PROGRAM THEN EVERYTHING SHE HAS SAID IS TRUE!!!11!!

By the way, have you ever wondered what the A stands for?
posted by Mister_A at 7:51 AM on March 10

Wow. I loved your work in the 80s, Mister_A. (Oh, wait -- sorry, got confused.)
posted by maudlin at 7:54 AM on March 10

So Mister A, her and now!! Clear it all up for us? Are you going to jump in the race or not? Your country is calling you sir!!
posted by pearlybob at 7:54 AM on March 10

Grow up, Mister A.

I posted that link to show that one year master's programs are in existence.

I thought the A stood for asinine.
posted by sansgras at 7:55 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

here and now!! damn no edit! Bah!
posted by pearlybob at 7:55 AM on March 10

I'm voting insane, but probably not a Kaycee. That is, not a sock puppet of the pro-ana Kaycee.

Might be useful to try and get someone from the eating disorder drama to see if they can draw comparisons between the writing styles. Is that LJ still up somewhere?
posted by Ragma at 7:56 AM on March 10

sansgras, I would back away from this thread, if I were you. If you are who you say you are, nothing you say is going to convince some people otherwise, and if you aren't who you say you are, someone is going to find a smoking gun. Either way, nothing more to be done on your side.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:58 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

You're a boring self-obsessed mouth breather, regardless of your age, education, gender, etc.
posted by Mister_A at 7:58 AM on March 10

"Grow up, Mister A."

Coming from someone with your AskMe question history, I find this comment extremely odd.
posted by Ragma at 7:58 AM on March 10

Now would be a good time for everyone to take a smoke or chocolate break.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:00 AM on March 10

What is life but a series of one-year Master's programs?
posted by mullacc at 8:00 AM on March 10 [14 favorites]

I have lots of girl scout cookies. I'll share!
posted by pearlybob at 8:01 AM on March 10

Where are the grownups?
posted by shothotbot at 8:04 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

I have the conch bitches!
posted by Mister_A at 8:05 AM on March 10 [3 favorites]

Anyone wanna kill a boar and make boar bacon cups?
posted by furiousxgeorge at 8:06 AM on March 10

Pig..er Pearlybob slowly puts down the thin mints. Backs away from the fire....
posted by pearlybob at 8:07 AM on March 10

I am thinking one P.I. just won't cut it. This demands a buddy cop team.

She's a sexy and sassy librarian. He's a musician with multiple web projects. Together, they fight MeFi Crime.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:07 AM on March 10 [12 favorites]

Cortex is a librarian?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:09 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Where are the grownups?

Still deleting comments.
posted by oaf at 8:10 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Grups don't help.
posted by ND¢ at 8:11 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Maybe I am jaded and cynical, maybe there has just been a terrible dearth of 20 year olds with an interesting combination of advanced degrees and a complete lack of common sense in my life, but quite honestly, sansgras, I have had some trouble believing in you since the second "My father is stalking me" thread. That was when I went through your askme history and went, "Huh." I mean, Doogie Howser went to med school early and still, he managed to figure out stuff like how to rent an apartment and date. I think. It's been a while.

Perhaps all the trauma in your askme questions is true, in which case, sorry, although I don't quite get your total resistance to the perfectly good advice you've already gotten. December to February is not a lot of time, true, but perhaps it was enough to start the process of growing up and shedding the parental shackles as so many people so earnestly advised you to do. But then, what do I know? I had long since moved out, had a kid and was working on a divorce, a job and a degree at 20. That kid herself was working two jobs to pay for her own apartment and going to school full time at 20. Therefore, based on my own anecdotal evidence, hon, I would recommend that if you are for real, it's time to grow up. If you aren't for real, next time, don't repeat yourself two months apart like that.

On preview, curses! The time for lengthy comments is past. Oh well.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:13 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

<ahem>
Metafilter: I hope that your denials are genuine, but you sound like you are lying.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:14 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Well, this is a mess.

Folks, if you could drop it with the one-liners in the askme, that'd be great. Remember those guidelines? They still exist. Thank you.

sansgras, I'm one of the three moderators on the site. I have to admit I agree with a lot of the "this smells" sentiment folks are expressing in here, but I'm not going to write you off based solely on hunch and circumstance, and if you can provide some hard detail that verifies your story I'd be happy to see it.

You've said you're hesitant to publicize details that would create a link between your identity here and elsewhere; if you'd drop me an email to help clear this up, I'm fine keeping the details private. My email is listed in my profile, here.
posted by cortex at 8:15 AM on March 10

Seconding TPS. This is no place for rational discourse, legitimate self-defense, etc.
posted by not_on_display at 8:16 AM on March 10

I know a 21 yo who talks exactly like this. So I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

And also tell her to GROW THE HELL UP ALREADY and IF YOU REALLY ARE AN "OLD SOUL" START ACTING IT ALREADY AND GYOFB.
posted by dw at 8:16 AM on March 10

Doogie Howser went to med school early and still, he managed to figure out stuff like how to rent an apartment and date.

Doogie Howser lived at home with his parents, who may or may not have been stalking him. Also, dating as a homosexual teenaged doctor was probably a complicated mess.
posted by item at 8:19 AM on March 10 [7 favorites]

Doogie Howser lived at home with his parents, who may or may not have been stalking him. Also, dating as a homosexual teenaged doctor was probably a complicated mess.

There was, like, this one time? Where he finally got this date, with, like, this girl he really liked? And during the date she got, like, appendicitis? And he, like, had to take her to the hospital and operate on her? And he, like, totally had to ask if she was a virgin for, like, some medical reason? It was, like, totally awkward! Then he, like, went home and wrote about it in his journal. Totally a mess. That might be when he decided he was the ghey or something.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:23 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

...Together, they fight MeFi Crime.

I'd totally watch that.
posted by Skorgu at 8:24 AM on March 10

Does vaguely describing 80's TV shows pass for wit around here nowadays?
posted by ND¢ at 8:24 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Isn't that "teh ghey" ?
posted by Mister_A at 8:24 AM on March 10

Looking at Sansgras/Beth's Livejournal last night, I observed that she was claiming to be a 24-year-old M.D. who teaches at a university. This Sansgras is 20 either with or working on a master's degree. So I guess they're both child prodigies?

Also, I've never heard of a forum which either technologically or by policy releases usernames of banned members for re-use.
posted by loiseau at 8:25 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Was that before or after he was Lee Harvey Oswald?
posted by oaf at 8:25 AM on March 10

Yes, that struck me as suspicious too, loiseau.
posted by Mister_A at 8:27 AM on March 10

"And if I was Beth, the integral part of her story is that she claims to be a doctor. I'm claiming to be 20, a former graduate student, not a doctor."

You see, the claims, they are different! A doctor-firefighter-pregnant-mother would never claim to be something she's not!
posted by klangklangston at 8:29 AM on March 10

After he was Wallace Cleaver Den Beste and before he was Ron Paul Harvey Oswald
posted by y2karl at 8:31 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

a master's degree

In a field related to medicine, no less.
posted by oaf at 8:32 AM on March 10

I admit it: Sansgras is my sockpuppet!

/isn't well-known enough to have a sockpuppet
posted by shakespeherian at 8:33 AM on March 10

Skinny people are beautiful AND smart. Duh.
posted by The Bellman at 8:36 AM on March 10

Can someone explain what this post means? I can't figure it out.
posted by loiseau at 8:36 AM on March 10

If any Mefi Detectives need a Sergeant Lewis or Troy, my number is in the book. I'll be happy to make incorrect assumptions while providing inspiration to your deductive reasoning.

Barring that, if someone wants to team up and be the Herc to my Carver, we can bust some Mefi Heads the Western District Way.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:36 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

"And if I was Beth, the integral part of her story is that she claims to be a doctor. I'm claiming to be 20, a former graduate student, not a doctor."

Shouldn't that say "And if I was Beth, the integral part of her story is that she claims to be a doctor. I am 20, a former graduate student, not a doctor."

?
posted by iconomy at 8:39 AM on March 10 [22 favorites]

Oh man. I'm not sure what was more pathetic - the actual question in that thread or the fact that so many people posted 'dump the loser' in the face of a conjoining of two of the most potentially vapid, self-unaware twits to ever grace the face of the internet. It makes better comedy than reality but I think, unfortunately, it's probably a real person.
posted by docpops at 10:15 AM on March 10

LOL! No, actually, it's pretty dickish to characterize MeFites as "pathetic" for trying to provide some non-snarky advice.
posted by desuetude at 8:40 AM on March 10

leaving a herd of dazed and angered anas stranded in the middle of Los Angeles.

The dazed herd -- feeling quite faint due to the lack of food and mid-day sun -- began wandering aimlessly in the direction of South Central L.A. Fortunately, a wandering pack of Overeaters Anonymous cowboys were able to rustle up the herd and steer them back towards the protective, welcoming confines of Beverly Hills.
posted by pardonyou? at 8:42 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

furiousxgeorge: "Could we ban everyone who posts long winded open-ended, over-dramatic relationship questions, fakepost or not?"

Could we ban everyone who answers long winded open-ended, over-dramatic relationship questions? Cut off their oxygen and the lunatics will be more likely to stay with LJ.
posted by meehawl at 8:46 AM on March 10 [5 favorites]

Setting aside the truth of the details for a moment, where my alarm goes off is Sansgras's in-thread responses.

Sansgras, you have people posting responses to your question, and you only pick up what a small few are saying. You don't seem to consider reasonable advice- you are stuck thinking and talking what you want to talk about. That is fine, in a sense, but true growth will come when you consider *all* of what people are trying to tell you, even if it hurts because it is true.

When you dodge/don't response to some of the comments, you remind me of the ebay scammer that posted questions to AskMe. That is what sets off the alarms for me.
posted by Monday at 8:49 AM on March 10

If sansgras is fraudulent, then y'all are providing him/her with the exact kind of entertainment they're out to get in the first place.
posted by sciurus at 8:52 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

...Together, they fight MeFi Crime.

In the dystopian future of MeFi, the pre-cog versions of Jess, Matt, and Cortex will be able to detect a bad post before it happens and lower the ban hammer before we even have a chance to snark.
posted by boubelium at 8:54 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Barring that, if someone wants to team up and be the Herc to my Carver, we can bust some Mefi Heads the Western District Way.

*shaves head, packs on pounds*
posted by jonmc at 8:54 AM on March 10 [6 favorites]

Well, pathetic may be too strong a word. But it really is shocking that anyone could read her query and not be awestruck by the vapidity and shallowness of it, and in response think that some well-crafted coda is going to somehow be seen as enlightening by a person that would post such purple horseshit. Worse yet, everything she's already said in her post makes it clear that she openly or subconsciously has nothing but disdain for people that actually treat her with respect. These people don't need more of your time and when you give it to them they think you're a rube for trying. But carry on just the same if it keeps them off the streets a minute longer.
posted by docpops at 8:56 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Welcome back, jonmc.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:57 AM on March 10

Meanwhile, what happened here?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:02 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

What a crazy Monday morning! Got to go to lunch now... I hope I don't miss anything when I'm gone.
posted by yeti at 9:04 AM on March 10

Pony request: Can someone read through AskMe to get to the really good ones like this and post a compilation list? I can not slog through innumerable queries about speaker cables and carnauba wax, but I do enjoy these clusterfuck questions.
posted by Mister_A at 9:05 AM on March 10

I don't know how much of sansgras's story is exaggerated or made up -- the name thing is totally fishy.

But I work with biomedical researchers, and can say that 20-year-olds with master's degrees aren't unicorns. She'd even have time to graduate from high school at the normal time and do a two-year master's.
posted by desuetude at 9:06 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Are you calling me crazy, yeti?
posted by Monday at 9:07 AM on March 10

I'm thinking this, and I'm inclined to be sympathetic. There are three possibilities:

1.These postings could be a complete put-on, a total calculated stunt.
2. These postings could reflect a genuine identity but contain an incredible amount of 3. prevarication (there are a lot of factual inconsistencies).
Or they could be completely, bizarrely true, at least in the main.

If it's anything other than 1, we have an OP here with some really very serious personal problem. So my sense of this is that we are seeing a personal mental health crisis. Whether her drama is real or not is less important than the fact that she needs to secure professional help, one way or the other, ASAP, even if it's just driving directly to the ER or the women's shelter next time instead of going to class. The convoluted thinking, the confusion, the desperation, and the neediness are screamingly clear.

Heck, those things are true even in the case of #1.

I'm disuturbed and perhaps a bit enlighted by the mention in the first AskMe that "I have to drown myself in benzodiazepines if I want to simply interact with the guy in any manner." The Wikipedia page also says "Benzodiazepines can cause a wide range of significant behavioral disturbances and cognitive impairment. Cognitive deficits, including concentration and memory-processing problems, are a well-known adverse effect of benzodiazepines and occur at prescribed dose levels."

In the 3rd posting medication shows up again: "I am also back on anti-depressants. I summoned the courage to see my GP, and I'm now on an SSRI and a benzo. She wants me to see a psychiatrist and a therapist before she continues to see me anymore. "

On March 1 she notes that the present relationship (about which she made the most recent post) is ending with the male's rejection of her, and also that she is "tapering herself of the Lexapro" in advance of moving out secretly, "...and this also worries me because it helps so much. I don't have the energy to feel any worse."

No wonder this is all so nutty. For one thing, messing around with administering and then withdrawing from your own meds will spin your head every time. Stop! Call your doctor!

There are hints of a lying problem. She says in the first post she's working full-time, in the third that she's working part-time. As to the other message board and the "sansgras" name, she says in an earliler thread "I realize my posts come up easily through a Google search. I haven't given away any identifying details, my username is one I made up for this site only...", which has been contradicted in this thread. There are claims of having never dated, then claims of "dating" several people, though it's not clear what "dating" means (could mean phone conversations or sex appointments). So I don't think truthfulness is a strong suit here, but I also don't think that necessarily invalidates the entire rest of the story. Someone who has a deeply messed-up family situation, skewed sense of self-worth, history of disorders, and changes in psychotropic drug use going on might have illusions, shelteredess, and a weaker sense of reality going on than we generally expect.

My bottom line: I see a lot of effort to sneaking around, trying to fix and perfect every aspect of a life that isn't working. It's not helping. If the story's true, you might consider getting to a women's shelter immediately. They'll help you figure out everything else about jobs, cellphones, and rent, but for your own health and safety, it seems you need to take some definitive action.

You're not thinking straight. Get help, girlfriend. Stet.
posted by Miko at 9:08 AM on March 10 [27 favorites]

But I work with biomedical researchers, and can say that 20-year-olds with master's degrees aren't unicorns.

I work with biomedical researchers too, and have never met a 20-year-old with a master's degree.

She'd even have time to graduate from high school at the normal time and do a two-year master's.

No, she wouldn't, unless her undergraduate degree took less than a year.
posted by grouse at 9:10 AM on March 10

Miko, you're awesome.
posted by Mister_A at 9:13 AM on March 10

In world of Keyser Sozes, TylerDurden72s and DIEMBAGRULZ, having a username like sansgras doesn't seem so out of the ordinary. For what its worth, I give her the benefit of the doubt in the absence of a FireFox plugin or Greasemonkey script entitled "HonestChecker™" For fucksakes, I've been gamed before on the web and I'm sure I will again (remember Plain Layne?) but my computer didn't explode, my bank account wasn't emptied and I can still get an erection (ok I lied - my monitor did burn out). I trust that most of our membership is able to sniff this shit out quicker than a bloodhound at a fish-fry. To me it seems this trail leads nowhere.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:15 AM on March 10

Is "fat-free" a common pseudonym on weight-centered forums or is it simply the french translation that's common (if it is indeed common)?
posted by Skorgu at 9:15 AM on March 10

Meanwhile, what happened here?

TPS, I really don't know. The thread was messy when I got up and when I noticed that the user has closed her account, I just decided to close the thread.
posted by jessamyn at 9:17 AM on March 10

^loiseau: Secret Squirrel was a cartoon character. aeschenkarnos was saying that if:
- OP's story is true, and you advise as true: win-win
- OP's story is true, you advise as false: it could be messy.
- OP's story is false, you advise as true: you just got some good practice.
- OP's story is false, you advise as false: You are Secret Squirrel.

So, if you knew the answer to that question before you commented, I just got some good practice.
posted by not_on_display at 9:18 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Being a 20 year old with a masters doesn't sound that implausible to me.

I graduated from high school at 17 (my birthday's in July), started college at 18, and graduated a year early, a few months shy of my 21st birthday. If I'd skipped a grade or two in elementary school I could easily have had time to get a masters in there.

OR DID I?
posted by fuzzbean at 9:18 AM on March 10 [8 favorites]

Is "fat-free" a common pseudonym on weight-centered forums or is it simply the french translation that's common (if it is indeed common)?

My google for sansgras didn't reveal much aside from the metafilter posts, the pro-an stuff, and a gnomish WoW player. I didn't know gnomes could get anorexia.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:22 AM on March 10

Gnomes are low-fat, not fat-free. They go good with mustard and rye bread.
posted by Mister_A at 9:23 AM on March 10 [4 favorites]

My brother at age 16 (also a July bday), skipped his senior year to go on to college. Finished a 4 year degree in 3, graduated college at 19 and had his Masters at 21. It was a 2-year program though. So I guess it can be done if the stars allign correctly...
posted by pearlybob at 9:24 AM on March 10

Am I the only one who had to look up "pro-ana" in wikipedia?
posted by octothorpe at 9:25 AM on March 10

Nope.
posted by Mister_A at 9:25 AM on March 10

Dagnabit Jonmc, I just noticed you came back. Now I have to add you back as a contact. Just for that, I'm marking you as a "sweetheart."
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:25 AM on March 10

Also, the claims of early graduate dregrees and suchlike reminds me of un owen. Whatever happened to her?

Setting aside the truth of the details for a moment, where my alarm goes off is Sansgras's in-thread responses.

Yep, those were the two things that flipped the suspicion switch for me. I posted my first response under the impression of "Oh yeah: dramatic 20-year-old girl, with a tendency to overanalyze everything -- i rememberwhat that was like." My second response came after taking a very perfunctory glance at the "my dad is abusing me" threads, which I hadn't read before.

But then, when she comes back with the "I want the Bobby to my Whitney" (and, as an aside: what year is this that all the kids are idolizing Bobby Brown/Whitney Houston as the sexy dysfunctional drama to emulate? I mean, they're not even on TV anymore, no?), it was clear that she is either purposely yanking some chains, or is seriously in need of help. She doesn't want advice, she wants attention. Whether it's attention for an entirely made-up drama, or attention for an actual train wreck in progress, she seems to want witnesses rather than help. But that's exactly what she needs, in either case.
posted by scody at 9:25 AM on March 10

Gnomes are low-fat, not fat-free. They go good with mustard and rye bread.

Don't have to tell me, I play an undead warlock. Gnomes are an integral part of the diet.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:25 AM on March 10

My spidey sense agrees with the call of "bullshit."

I also noticed what iconomy pointed out, "Shouldn't that say 'And if I was Beth, the integral part of her story is that she claims to be a doctor. I am 20, a former graduate student, not a doctor.'?" If you weren't Beth, you'd not give a hoot about how your story sounded in comparison to hers. Like the detectives say, you just don't act like a truly innocent suspect would.

And I also don't believe that an internet community, even one full of admittedly sick people, would allow a new different user to adopt the name of an old shit-stirrer that was gone.

And, "Why would I use a name that you could easily Google?" is also a bullshit response. We don't go around googling all new users, all the time. Anyone who'd been lurking here for even the shortest amount of time would appreciate that the sheer size of the membership prevents that sort of vetting, especially since this a general-interest site. So, I would assume, sansgras, that you felt you could slip in under the radar, with a group of folks that (for the most part) are too well-hinged that there would be a risk of overlap with the other community.

So, your logical defenses, aren't. Merely specious and truthy. And you've admitted to being on the same board as the original crazy person.

While it appears that the mods have decided you haven't done anything that breaks the rules here, I hope you realize that if you are trying to work drama here, you are merely a Little League pitcher trying to play with the New York Yankees' starting rotation. Enjoy the lights and the roar of the crowd while it lasts, because your every move here is going to be watched. Don't forget: the whole world was taken in by Kaycee Nicole, and you're prancing around among the gang of bloodhounds that sniffed out the fraud.

And if you're for real, then keep on keeping on, and truth will eventually redeem you, and those of us who doubted you will apologize, and it'll all be fine. And, get help, like Miko said -- because whether you're crazy-but-not-that-other-crazy-girl or crazy-but-a-brand-new-crazy, you're still... yep. Crazy.
posted by pineapple at 9:26 AM on March 10 [5 favorites]

docpops: Well, pathetic may be too strong a word. But it really is shocking that anyone could read her query and not be awestruck by the vapidity and shallowness of it, and in response think that some well-crafted coda is going to somehow be seen as enlightening by a person that would post such purple horseshit.

Well, to be fair, someone did recommend she read the Bible of vapidity, He's Just Not That Into You.
posted by loiseau at 9:31 AM on March 10

Definitely can pearlybob, I'm just saying that you can't graduate "at the normal time" and do it unless you finish your undergrad degree within a year. I would define the normal time as being at least 17 at college matriculation.
posted by grouse at 9:31 AM on March 10

The member does not seem to have violated any guidelines. The member appears to be in need of psychiatric help. Why not answer the questions honestly with the need for psychiatric help in mind?

If any or all of it is accurate, or a pack of paranoid delusions, honest expressions of concern, and useful answers, may help, and seem unlikely to hurt.

Miko, is, in fact, awesome.
posted by theora55 at 9:32 AM on March 10

I don't understand why her questions pass the sniff test at all, real or fake. She doesn't seem to care about the answers given, and her questions just seem like a chatfilter-y version of "my pseudo-boyfriend/stalking dad sucks, amirite?"
posted by fermezporte at 9:32 AM on March 10

I can almost hear Russell Crowe shouting, "Are you not entertained?"
posted by ikkyu2 at 9:33 AM on March 10 [13 favorites]

Can we go back to the part where there were pro-ana people? What does that even mean? Like are they pro-eating disorder with full knowledge that it is a disorder? Or are they just pro-really, really thin people? What would these kind of people discuss on a dedicated pro-ana forum? That food is gross?
posted by dios at 9:34 AM on March 10

Miko is pretty neat. also, jonmc is back? should that be called a Uuuuuuhw?
posted by shmegegge at 9:34 AM on March 10

It's funny how Internet trolls can be so creative with their fictional scenarios, yet so unimaginitve when creating new usernames. Oh well, I'm sure that doesn't apply here at all...
posted by junkbox at 9:38 AM on March 10

loiseau : Can someone explain what this post means? I can't figure it out.

This is a coded challenge. Kind of like how, in World War 2 the French Resistance might say: "The fox in in the hedge" to which the response of "The falcon is in the tree" would get you safe passage through enemy lines.

"Three Cheers For Secret Squirrel" requires a reply of "Because he's a bit of a nut" and will get you a 10% discount at Applebees and a choice of smoked and aged cheddars from the Cheese of the Month club.

You just have to know the right people to ask.
posted by quin at 9:43 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

dios said: "Can we go back to the part where there were pro-ana people? What does that even mean? Like are they pro-eating disorder with full knowledge that it is a disorder? Or are they just pro-really, really thin people? What would these kind of people discuss on a dedicated pro-ana forum? That food is gross?"

They're pro-anorexia, basically. They know it's technically an eating disorder in that it isn't normal or what so-called doctors would call "so-called" "healthy," but they don't believe it's harmful to them. They talk about ways to avoid detection at school and by parents and friends and in social situations. They talk about ways to take in minimal amounts of calories for the maximum nutrition needed to stay alive, and they share techniques and recommendations for purging, laxatives, where to buy children's-sized clothes that can pass for adult designs. They share pictures and tell each other how beautiful they are, and reaffirm messages like "You can never be too thin!" and "You have to be thin to be popular!" and "Size 6 is fat and disgusting!"

It's really, really sick stuff. They basically encourage and enable all the absolute worst, most toxic behaviors in each other -- because like so many anorexics, they can get what they need in private.

This is the kind of stuff that makes my shoulder angel and shoulder devil go mad. "But it's the First Amendment!" "But they're committing group suicide, essentially!" "But they have that right!" "But what if it's children posting? Minors?" "That's on the ISP and host and siteowner, it's not your problem!" Ad aeternum.
posted by pineapple at 9:45 AM on March 10 [4 favorites]

It's funny how Internet trolls can be so creative with their fictional scenarios, yet so unimaginitve when creating new usernames. Oh well, I'm sure that doesn't apply here at all...

It must be like the hackers who just have to brag about what they did on usenet or irc, it's no fun if no one knows what you did, or in this case that you managed to pull the same type of stunt twice.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:45 AM on March 10

Can we go back to the part where there were pro-ana people? What does that even mean? Like are they pro-eating disorder with full knowledge that it is a disorder? Or are they just pro-really, really thin people? What would these kind of people discuss on a dedicated pro-ana forum? That food is gross?

It's exactly what it sounds like, people who are pro-anorexia. Welcome to the internet.
posted by delmoi at 9:47 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Pathological people have access to the internet, too.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:51 AM on March 10

> This is the kind of stuff that makes my shoulder angel and shoulder devil go mad. "But it's the First Amendment!" "But they're committing group suicide, essentially!" "But they have that right!" "But what if it's children posting? Minors?" "That's on the ISP and host and siteowner, it's not your problem!" Ad aeternum.

In this, it's very much the same as a.s.h for me - a place where I don't mind admitting I spent a great deal of my early 20s...

I've known anorexics, and it is, like most "mental" illnesses, the case that there can be no recovery before there's an admission of a problem, and places like a.s.h or pro-ana give sufferers a place where people basically say "but this isn't a problem for us!" As you say, issues of free speech come into play, and also, perhaps (which came to be my belief with a.s.h) the fact that any support is better than none at all for some of these people.
posted by benzo8 at 9:56 AM on March 10

This thread certainly backs up your assertion, Dave.
posted by Mister_A at 9:57 AM on March 10

Where I said "stet," it should read "stat." Thanks to a helpful MeFite for pointing out my error. I meant to emphasize: right away.
posted by Miko at 10:00 AM on March 10

She'd even have time to graduate from high school at the normal time and do a two-year master's.

No, she wouldn't, unless her undergraduate degree took less than a year.

Dammit. You're right grouse -- she'd have to graduate early. I should lay off doing anything that involves counting in the am.

But I do know 20-year-olds with graduate degrees. (Concurrent college/HS enrollment then straight to masters.)
posted by desuetude at 10:10 AM on March 10

"Stet" works too, though. "Let it be written: you need help! If anyone said otherwise, it was a mistake!"
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:11 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

benzo8 said: "In this, it's very much the same as a.s.h for me - a place where I don't mind admitting I spent a great deal of my early 20s..."

American Society of Hematology? I don't mean to be flip, but I Googled and couldn't find this a.s.h. You don't have to say it aloud if you are trying to avoid the Google, but I'm just curious.

"As you say, issues of free speech come into play, and also, perhaps (which came to be my belief with a.s.h) the fact that any support is better than none at all for some of these people."

I guess. I've never spent time on those boards nor have anorexia, so I can't really speak to what the participants get from it... but it just seems that "support" of the deadliest of the behaviors is far worse than "none at all." It's not like they're all supporting each other in recovery. They're supporting each other to continue killing themselves. It seems to me like the mob mentality only serves to strengthen and perpetuate the illnesses.
posted by pineapple at 10:11 AM on March 10

I have a friend who got a masters in Human Computer Interaction at CMU in like 18 months.

I'll bet he used Linux and smelled bad!
posted by ludwig_van at 10:12 AM on March 10

I agree with CunningLinguist, this just screams un owen's drama. The complicated as hell back story. The need to post a long thread putting all the pieces together, with a "hope that helps" tone. It just all seems calculated and made up at the same time, that it's easy to see why it raises suspicions.
posted by piratebowling at 10:14 AM on March 10

dios - it's a really very disturbing scene, one that revolves around promoting anorexia as a lifestyle rather than an illness. So, eg., community members will exchange tips on how to hide the extent of their anorexia, swap inspirational (or 'thinspirational') images of emaciated people, organise group fasting sessions, &c.. So, yeah, 'food is gross' is a big part of it. There are even sub-subcultures, like Emo Thinspiration, and sites devoted to bulimic purging - 'pro-mia' - rather than not eating.

That's at the more extreme end of things, anyway: some pro-ana communities are really, or at least claim to be, support groups for folk with anorexia, and do admit that it's a disorder rather than a lifestyle thing.

Health professionals tend to take a very dim view - funnily enough - of the whole pro-ana scene, and in the UK at least, there have been attempts to have sites shut down - I think Yahoo! have shut down some sites/mailing lists, but most of the social network sites tend to leave them be, and it seems to be a pretty big scene on LiveJournal especially.

Oop, on preview: what everyone else just said.
posted by jack_mo at 10:14 AM on March 10

American Society of Hematology? I don't mean to be flip, but I Googled and couldn't find this a.s.h. You don't have to say it aloud if you are trying to avoid the Google, but I'm just curious.

alt.sex.harrypotter. Duh.
posted by mullacc at 10:16 AM on March 10

alt.sex.h?????????
posted by yhbc at 10:19 AM on March 10

In this, it's very much the same as a.s.h for me - a place where I don't mind admitting I spent a great deal of my early 20s...

alt.sex.horses? I'd keep quiet about that if I were you. They tend to be a bit judgemental about that stuff around here...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:27 AM on March 10

>American Society of Hematology?

rofl! No, sorry - a.s.h = alt.suicide.holiday, a USENET group originally set up to discuss why the suicide rate increased around the holiday season, which rapidly morphed to be a waiting room (a bus stop, in fact, was the parlance) for people feeling suicidal and/or planning suicide.

> alt.sex.harrypotter. Duh.

OK, now that's just (wizard-)fucking funny!
posted by benzo8 at 10:28 AM on March 10

Previous discussion of a Pro-Ana site, on MeFi.

I stand by what I said in that thread. If I had a daughter with an eating disorder, I would keep her as far away from other eating disordered people as I could.
posted by orange swan at 10:28 AM on March 10

Oh, I thought she meant pro-Ana.

Never mind.
posted by SteveInMaine at 10:31 AM on March 10

Get help, girlfriend. Stet.

I thought it was 'Stat.' Unless "Stet" is a new medication or something.
posted by jonmc at 10:31 AM on March 10

Brandon Blatcher: Now would be a good time for everyone to take a smoke or chocolate break.

The best tasting thing ever (in my opinion) is a piece of Ghirardelli dark chocolate washed down by a vanilla frappucino. Of course, I quit smoking. :(
posted by desjardins at 10:33 AM on March 10

I thought it was 'Stat.' Unless "Stet" is a new medication or something.

She corrected herself already. Also, I prefer to think she was saying that switching to a Stetson (from a fedora, natch) would somehow help.
posted by cortex at 10:38 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Thanks, orange swan. I knew we'd seen that before, but didn't realize it'd been so long ago.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:39 AM on March 10

Also, I prefer to think she was saying that switching to a Stetson (from a fedora, natch) would somehow help.

Well, it'd hold ten gallons of booze, which couldn't be bad.
posted by jonmc at 10:39 AM on March 10

I knew what pro-ana was (thank you very much Randal K. Milholland) without Googling, but a.s.h. I had to look up.
posted by Johnny Assay at 10:43 AM on March 10

The best tasting thing ever (in my opinion) is a piece of Ghirardelli dark chocolate washed down by a vanilla frappucino. Of course, I quit smoking. :(

Gee thanks, now guess what I'm craving? Hint: It's not a ciggie.
posted by konolia at 10:46 AM on March 10

A hat full of booze?
posted by jonmc at 10:52 AM on March 10 [4 favorites]

Starving yourself? You're actually craving nothing.
posted by item at 11:02 AM on March 10

speaking of a.s.h, there's also an irc channel called #alt.suicide.bus.stop for anyone who might be interested.
posted by yeoz at 11:04 AM on March 10

what this person did to an ANA group was rather callous and possibly despicable. ANA people don't need any help being jaded and that certainly didn't provide any healing...not that they necessarily were looking for it. I agree completely with pineapple.

I don't think bad behavior should be rewarded generally but I also think that we're not going to stop it from happening and we might as well provide a safe outlet for it.
posted by wantwit at 11:08 AM on March 10

I know how frustrating it is to have given your time, attention, and emotional energy to helping a person who decieved you. I had a friend in high school who lied to a few people about having cancer, and I was furious when I found out that she was lying.

That said, at this point, the basis for the assertion that sansgras is a fraud is basically a "feeling." Perhaps that feeling is right, but for now, I wonder if we couldn't show a little kindness to sansgras, who may very well be a real person working through some very serious issues.

If you find her postings annoying or immature, I understand -- sometimes I also lose patience with my friends when they won't take my advice. I just want to remind everyone that most people aren't really very mature at 20 (no matter how many degrees they've racked up). If sangras has told us a true story about herself, then she has had to deal with emotional abuse and is isolated from people who could help her. She may not have developed strong coping skills. It's not very surprising that she's acting out in unhealthy ways.

It would be unfortunate if the thrill of the hunt distracted us from an opportunity to help someone.
posted by prefpara at 11:22 AM on March 10 [4 favorites]

but a.s.h. I had to look up.

How the hell did you find it? I tried, but like pineapple I just came up with American Society of Hematology.

Also, fedoras rule.
posted by languagehat at 11:22 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: a safe outlet for bad behaviour
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:22 AM on March 10

How the hell did you find it?

freedictionary.com is usually helpful with acronyms...
posted by nzero at 11:26 AM on March 10

Er, thefreedictionary.com, excuse me.
posted by nzero at 11:27 AM on March 10

And, after posting and actually googling it, it's the fourth result...
posted by nzero at 11:28 AM on March 10

Languagehat: I googled a.s.h. usenet to find it.
posted by aspo at 11:28 AM on March 10

And if I was Beth, the integral part of her story is that she claims to be a doctor. I'm claiming to be 20, a former graduate student, not a doctor.

I know klang and iconomy already called this particular bit of weirdness out, but again: what the fuck? (Or, as I imagine Andy Samberg shrieking whilst dressed as Diablo Cody: waddle the duck?!?! I was a stripper!)

Even if sansgras is indeed -- as prefpara very compassionately notes above -- a troubled person with poor coping skills acting out in unhealthy ways, the phrasing of "I'm claiming" rather than "I am" just amplifies the hinky factor. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but that line just sort of stops me cold.
posted by scody at 11:40 AM on March 10

No, she wouldn't, unless her undergraduate degree took less than a year.

Suppose that she graduated high school at 16. That's early, but not all that uncommon. Taking summer courses, it's pretty common to get an undergrad degree in three years and take some grad courses at the same time.

I can believe that a 20-year-old has a Master's, but I can't believe that one would be able to get a date.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 11:42 AM on March 10

She corrected herself already.

Interestingly enough, saying 'stet' when you meant something else is the one error than can't be corrected. It's the editorial equivalent of division by zero.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:45 AM on March 10 [34 favorites]

My head hurts.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:47 AM on March 10

And if I was Beth, the integral part of her story is that she claims to be a doctor. I'm claiming to be 20, a former graduate student, not a doctor.

Honestly, to be fair, I can imagine saying something like this myself— it's pretty clumsy, rhetorically, but makes sense if you read it as someone trying to point out that the claims are different, and therefore the noted similarities don't matter. I don't think the 'I'm claiming' is very suspicious. Dumb-sounding, but not suspicious.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:47 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Suppose that she graduated high school at 16.

I would not define that as graduating at the "normal time," and desuetude has admitted that her statement does not hold water.
posted by grouse at 11:48 AM on March 10

I'm not claiming that I'm mean, I'm just claiming that I once shot a man for snoring too loud.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:58 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

So what did ever become of unowen?
posted by acorncup at 12:08 PM on March 10 [2 favorites]

I would not define that as graduating at the "normal time," and desuetude has admitted that her statement does not hold water.

On the other hand, graduating at 17 is normal, and it's conceivable to have a Master's three years later with concurrent HS and undergrad courses and concurrent undergrad and grad courses. I don't believe for a second that this is what she's done, though, since she's clearly lying about her history.

But my point is that it is possible, even for folks who never skipped a grade.
posted by ten pounds of inedita a