Closed? March 20, 2007 6:53 PM   Subscribe

closed closed closed closed closed closed closed What is the deal with every fifth or so MetaTalk thread being closed? Yes, some get messy, but that is where issues get worked out. The petulant pres closes off discussion because he can't handle it. Why does MetaTalk all of a sudden close all these threads? MetaTalk can handle it.
posted by caddis to Etiquette/Policy at 6:53 PM (185 comments total)

closed
posted by fire&wings at 6:59 PM on March 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


The first rule of closed MetaTalk threads is we do not discuss closed MetaTalk threads.
posted by fandango_matt at 7:01 PM on March 20, 2007


Man...I don't think this will wendell.
posted by Richat at 7:02 PM on March 20, 2007


Are you calling out #1 as petulant?? Or am I mistaken? That's ricockulous.

petulant
1 : insolent or rude in speech or behavior
2 : characterized by temporary or capricious ill humor : PEEVISH

The petulant poster stirs up shit because he's bored. MetaTalk can handle that.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:03 PM on March 20, 2007


Why does MetaTalk all of a sudden close all these threads?

Because there is no reason to keep them open?

Like this post?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 7:03 PM on March 20, 2007


they're closed because metatalk hates you caddis.

it hates you oh so much.
posted by Stynxno at 7:08 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Really? Really, really? I don't understand chatfilter number seven thousand and twelve? TK Christ doesn't know how to go all confessional in his own stupid thread, he has to start a new one (which ironically is so longwinded it bumps the live one off the front page)? Another "this deletion explanation made me laugh" thread turns into a Dios dustup? A double post of a time zone issue? Really, this doth affront you? TOM CRUISE AGAIN?! A bitch thread about somebody else's deleted AskMe? And a question that got answered in the first comment and smelled like sneaky self promotion anyway. My only objection is that they don't get deleted instead of just closed. And it is clear that all three admins were involved in these deletions. Are you teasing, caddis?
posted by nanojath at 7:11 PM on March 20, 2007 [8 favorites]


Are you calling out #1 as petulant?? Or am I mistaken? That's ricockulous.

I thought that at first, but on examination I realized Caddis was talking about George Bush.
posted by grobstein at 7:11 PM on March 20, 2007


Why do people persist in things that they would be embarrassed about if someone else saw them doing it? Perhaps this is the nature of sin. In my short time as an adult, I've tried as much as my capacity allows to live in a way that if I was being watched on some TV show in a foreign land, the sudden realization that I was being watched wouldn't mortify me or otherwise cause any sort of reaction whatsoever. It's quite freeing actually, and I find that most nights I fall asleep quickly and wake up early feeling refreshed. Give it a try.

I'm sorry, what's this all about again?
posted by Burhanistan at 7:11 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


As mathowie says:

I'm going to close this, but everything that people wanted to know about has been said and answered it looks like.

or jessamyn:

there is a perfectly good MeTa thread a little bit down the page where this would fit in just nicely.


or cortex:

This is a mess. MeTa double deleted, I'm closing this, and that trainwreck of a thread is getting nixed too. dropkick, you've got history with Matt that I'm not up on; please drop him an email if you can't brook the resolution.


Every one has a reason listed. Are they not good enough reasons? Just wanted to add your two cents?
posted by Roger Dodger at 7:11 PM on March 20, 2007


What is the Sound of the Single Hand? When you clap together both hands a sharp sound is heard; when you raise the one hand there is neither sound nor smell. Is this the High Heaven of which Confucius speaks? Or is it the essentials of what Yamamba describes in these words: "The echo of the completely empty valley bears tidings heard from the soundless sound?" This is something that can by no means be heard with the ear. If conceptions and discriminations are not mixed within it and it is quite apart from seeing, hearing, perceiving, and knowing, and if, while walking, standing, sitting, and reclining, you proceed straightforwardly without interruption in the study of this koan, you will suddenly pluck out the karmic root of birth and death and break down the cave of ignorance. Thus you will attain to a peace in which the phoenix has left the golden net and the crane has been set free of the basket. At this time the basis of mind, consciousness, and emotion is suddenly shattered; the realm of illusion with its endless sinking in the cycle of birth and death is overturned. The treasure accumulation of the Three Bodies and the Four Wisdoms is taken away, and the miraculous realms of the Six Supernatural Powers and Three Insights is transcended.
posted by ashbury at 7:12 PM on March 20, 2007


Close this sucker.
Then it will Wendell. Or new Dell. Or dew Nell. Or lend Lew.
posted by wendell at 7:14 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


On the one hand, I agree with you, caddis. On the other hand, there have been an astonishing number of unbelievably stupid MeTa posts lately. Also, I miss the <> tag.
posted by kosem at 7:14 PM on March 20, 2007


They have to be closed fast, or people will make comments that they missed out making on a previous thread, e.g. that "I wished to question this prevailing assumption and thought others might wish to share their thoughts as well", which was offered as the reason for the thread was actually a good descriptin of why it didn't belong.

Actually, they're closed because they're resolved and why muddy the issue? Well, I'm new here, but that's what I think. They are problems that got their solution.
posted by Listener at 7:14 PM on March 20, 2007


It does seems lately that more Metatalk threads are closed, when in the past they would have stayed open. Maybe it's a good thing, I don't know; but it does take some getting used to.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:15 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


an ell wend that blows no good...
posted by ashbury at 7:15 PM on March 20, 2007


ashbury: Thank you. Yes, take it all away please so the sweetness can be tasted.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:16 PM on March 20, 2007


img, that is.
posted by kosem at 7:16 PM on March 20, 2007


This annoys me too. I quite enjoy the long, meandering threads in Meta that fly off into an unexpected and occasionally pleasant direction. It allows users to interact with one another on a more 1-to-1 basis and the person behind the mask is often revealed, if only momentarily. It humanizes us and, in turn, those that were once nothing more than virtual combatants become real people.

For instance, how many of you knew that I recently found a thread on Metafilter, discovered the Y: The Last Man comic book series and, despite never owning a comic book in my life, ordered the first few installments from amazon.ca and quite enjoyed them? None of you! That's how many. But now you do. I'm also partial to gin and tonics, imported beer, and have recently developed a rather crushing dependency on Call of Duty 3 on Xbox Live.

I also enjoy the new Modest Mouse album more than I though I would have after the last album. I also just slid down another two notches on Dobbs Respect List™, I think...
posted by The God Complex at 7:16 PM on March 20, 2007


Unlike mayflies, adult caddis are not especially vulnerable to trout when they first hatch. However, they are long-lived (compared to mayflies), and often fall or are blown onto the river. So adult imitations work well any time of year caddis are hatching.

The Elk Hair Caddis is THE standard caddis imitation in the West. It has caught countless trout. The fly floats well in rough water, but will works reasonably well in slower water (see below).

A useful variation is the Hot Butt Caddis, which has a poly-yarn butt-end in a bright color not found in nature, such as hot pink, hot orange, or chartreuse. Perhaps the flashy color first gets the attention of a trout, which then sees the rest of the fly and thinks, "Oh, a caddis. I want it." 1
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:16 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Can you give us one reason that each and every one of the threads you reference should stay open (other than your spurious and completely unsupported claim that it is mere petulance on the moderators' part)? If you can do so, then proceed. Otherwise, this is the most pointless callout in a week of pointless callouts that were rightfully closed.
posted by googly at 7:16 PM on March 20, 2007


I saw Caddis in the parking lot, taking down license plate numbers.
Just saying.
posted by Dizzy at 7:17 PM on March 20, 2007


It's not each and every one, it's the volume.
posted by caddis at 7:18 PM on March 20, 2007


Besides, these meandering Metatalk threads are the only way for me to gauge whether Stavros is feeling cantankerous or gregarious on a particular day. And this is important to me.

And, no, I have no idea how serious I am.
posted by The God Complex at 7:19 PM on March 20, 2007


by the way crash, I have caught creels full of trout on that very fly
posted by caddis at 7:20 PM on March 20, 2007


The most recent one was closed because it was going to turn into a dreadful pile-on of someone who clearly didn't understand how the place worked. It might have been an opportunity for some learning and talking and communicating but it didn't look like it. I'm all for using MeTa to hash out policy stuff or have an "ask the admins" forum, but it's hard when someone takes something that really should have gone to email to MeTa instead and then get their ass handed to them. We take the "we don't edit MeTa" edict fairly seriously, but then sometimes people take shit too far. In almost all cases the "working issues out" window has closed long before the thread was closed.

A second idea is that cortex is new and is learning the ins and outs of when to close and not close MeTa threads. I see it like a pendulum swinging, a lot get closed for a while and then less, and then too few get closed and then it swings back.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:20 PM on March 20, 2007


Look at it this way.

Jessamyn handles AskMe, Cortex now handles Metafilter (ironically).and Matt handles Metatalk, with the other two playing backup.

In order for Matt to work on more of the backside of the site, programming advancements, and otherwise lighting his cigarettes with $500 bills, he doesn't want to allow too many threads to make the inevitable train wrecks that they usually go on Metatalk because he doesn't want to have to watch it. So he closes down the ones he can as soon as he can.

Considering the rabid hive bloodlust for flame-outs -- the chanting for which is occurring on a daily basis lately -- who can really blame him?
posted by Dave Faris at 7:21 PM on March 20, 2007


Dear The God Complex,

Hi, how are things?

I am making some matzo ball soup right now. I am such the Jew. I was also Yente in my high school play, the cast of which had no Jews, and I was the closest thing.

Last night I went to the duck pond with contraption and realized how integral the actual act of carrying a heel of bread or some stale corn tortillas is the the completeness of the act. That goes back to my toddlerhood, strange that such happy memories should be so ingrained from such an early age, but then again, that was the time before my parents divorced. Coincidence? I always thought so. I also realized that I should really trap and eat one of these delicious duckies since I've contributed so faithfully to the pool, so to speak.

Did you know that G&T is the Queen's favorite? I'm a bourbon fan, myself. Allmerkin.

Your Pal,

Ambrosia
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:22 PM on March 20, 2007


Some of my favorite people here on Meta-Filter have wasted whole days in the grey. It makes me sad to think they could only have mere minutes to snark and snip and snipe, before a thread gets closed. Where will they go if MeTa throws them out into the cold, cold , cold.
posted by nola at 7:24 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


It's all part of TeamMeta's training for the 2007 Net Mod Whack-a-mole championships, which this year will be held on delightful Langkawi, the "island in the sun." Thanks for popping up another challenge for our feisty threesome!
posted by Abiezer at 7:25 PM on March 20, 2007


The most recent one was closed because it was going to turn into a dreadful pile-on of someone who clearly didn't understand how the place worked. It might have been an opportunity for some learning and talking and communicating but it didn't look like it. I'm all for using MeTa to hash out policy stuff or have an "ask the admins" forum, but it's hard when someone takes something that really should have gone to email to MeTa instead and then get their ass handed to them. We take the "we don't edit MeTa" edict fairly seriously, but then sometimes people take shit too far. In almost all cases the "working issues out" window has closed long before the thread was closed.

Pfft. Someone that (rightly) calls us a bunch of pretentious wankers at least deserves the pleasure of an entertaining jaunt of pretentious wankery, in my opinion. Besides, Metatalk has a long and storied history of pile-ons that are entertaining, cull the herd, and allow us all to bond in a meaningful, almost primordial way.

I don't see what's so harmful about a bunch of us dancing around a large bonfire, upon which rotates the charred body of the day's catch, our faces smeared with soot and ash in our hair while a New Orleans funeral dirge plays over the loud speakers. This barbaric display of wankery just under the thin facade of human decency (blue and green) is the dark heart of Metafilter. Abominable, yes, but an abomination worth celebrating!

Now, who's up for an impromptu game of Nerf hitman?
posted by The God Complex at 7:29 PM on March 20, 2007


I think it's because we won't shut the fuck up.
posted by frecklefaerie at 7:30 PM on March 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


AHA!
*puts up the Abiezer signal (pack o' fags + a beer rampant)*

posted by coriolisdave at 7:31 PM on March 20, 2007


PARTICIPATING IN HISTORIC THREAD KTHXBYE
posted by loquacious at 7:31 PM on March 20, 2007


So, where's the pickle?
posted by loquacious at 7:33 PM on March 20, 2007


'ello coriolisdave. Cricket's turning up a few surprises, to say the least, eh though but?
posted by Abiezer at 7:33 PM on March 20, 2007


My fear is that entertainment like like this and this will be a thing of the past. Maybe that's the idea.
posted by Pacheco at 7:35 PM on March 20, 2007


Current stavrosgeist: cantankerous, with a touch of giddy overcaffeination.

I see no problem with most of the recent closures. Although I would have liked to take a swipe at this doofus, it's probably best that I didn't get the chance.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:35 PM on March 20, 2007


Considering the rabid hive bloodlust for flame-outs -- the chanting for which is occurring on a daily basis lately -- who can really blame him?

Yea, that really gets bloody annoying. It seems every response to a callout has something about, "OMG, FLAMEOUT!!! CALL LANGUAGEHAT!!!!" Damnit people, nobody's going to flame out when you call them on it 10 comments into a post! It requires judicious poking, egging on, and trolling/flaming the target user. Judging by the bloodlust of the place, I'd think we'd be better at that tactic.
posted by jmd82 at 7:36 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]



I see no problem with most of the recent closures. Although I would have liked to take a swipe at this doofus, it's probably best that I didn't get the chance.


The site was too slow. I had one written and keyed up and it was closed during the five minute posting process :(

You would have loved it.
posted by The God Complex at 7:36 PM on March 20, 2007


"PARTICIPATING IN HISTORIC THREAD KTHXBYE"

Well played sir, well played.
posted by Richat at 7:37 PM on March 20, 2007


oh pleeaasssse , matt , make me an admin , i'm doing such a good job of representing your views in your absence......i've reformed , i'm a better person, i just happen to still keep turning up in metatalk, oh, can't i just be an admin for a little while ..... during your lunch break ? i won't make a mess or anything, just a teensy weensy little bit of admining ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:40 PM on March 20, 2007


please ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:43 PM on March 20, 2007


Metatalk: an entertaining jaunt of pretentious wankery

(you knew this was coming)
posted by clevershark at 7:53 PM on March 20, 2007


"Daddy, where were you when 13881 was closed?", they'll ask. "Gather round", I'll intone sagely, "for therein is tale most exquisite and unexpected..."
posted by boo_radley at 8:06 PM on March 20, 2007


all i have to say is (i can't say it)
posted by nj_subgenius at 8:13 PM on March 20, 2007


I always thought that MeTa was one of the release valves for pent up agression and snark, and as such, has always served its purpose with aplomb. If it becomes AskMe for questions about MeFi, then I say boo sir, boo indeed!

p.s No, I'm Spartacus!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:24 PM on March 20, 2007


Our five-minute hate can last all day, provided the thread doesn't scroll off the main page of metatalk.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:27 PM on March 20, 2007


"and allow us all to bond in a meaningful, almost primordial way."

That would involve methane, ammonia, water, hydrogen, and an electric current.

Yup, that about sums up MetaTalk.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:28 PM on March 20, 2007


(you knew this was coming)

It usually does when you wank it.
posted by loquacious at 8:28 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


TEAT FEET!
posted by fandango_matt at 8:29 PM on March 20, 2007


Considering the rabid hive bloodlust for flame-outs -- the chanting for which is occurring on a daily basis lately -- who can really blame him?

Yeah, really. This isn't Something Awful, and things like this are really not appropriate on a regular basis, even though the thread itself wasn't called for.
posted by oaf at 8:31 PM on March 20, 2007


"In my short time as an adult, I've tried as much as my capacity allows to live in a way that if I was being watched on some TV show in a foreign land, the sudden realization that I was being watched wouldn't mortify me or otherwise cause any sort of reaction whatsoever. It's quite freeing actually, and I find that most nights I fall asleep quickly and wake up early feeling refreshed."

If they watched me, foreigners would think that Americans were alcoholic perpetual masturbators. I think I could handle that.

As an aside, goddamn, I love scotch. A friend of my girlfriend insists that it's pronounced "skatch" in Philidelphia, but I don't know if he'd just trying to make that happen, you know, as a random catch phrase.
posted by klangklangston at 8:31 PM on March 20, 2007


Aw, hell. MetaTalk: the rabid hive bloodlust for flame-outs.
posted by cgc373 at 8:32 PM on March 20, 2007


the answer to your implied question is: yes, all of those threads should have been closed. at the very least.
posted by spiderwire at 8:36 PM on March 20, 2007


I've been an avid, arguably obsessive reader of Metatalk for years now. Know that when I close a thread, it's with a heavy heart and great inner conflict. I like the stupid meandering fun, and the not-so-awful arguing, and the humanizing back-and-forths, and I'd like it if we never closed another Metatalk thread ever. But I'd like world peace, too. And I'm the junior hand on the trigger here, anyway—Matt'll close what he thinks needs closing, and delete what he thinks needs deleting.

So it's mostly only the tremendous, awful shitfests or blatant please-scroll-down double posts that I'm even inclined to close. If there have been a spate of those lately, well, shit: spates are sons of bitches like that.

I'd be interested in arguments for why truly, truly shitty threads should be left to explode. Preferably arguments that amount to more than "lol", in particular.

Jessamyn mentioned the pendulum-swing here, and we talked about it offband as well; it seems to me that Matt's tendency in the last couple years has been to close the stupidest of the stupid more often, but beyond that there's probably just a random heartbeat to it. See again spates, and a certain amount of reaction to community feedback.

Hint for the bloodthirsty: aim for about 1 am Pacific. Matt and I are probably asleep, Jess is probably not up yet, and unrestrained, unapologetically assholish behavior will probably live a good two or three hours minimum. Eh? Eh?
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:38 PM on March 20, 2007


oaf: you might think you're setting a short measure with SA, but I'll tell you this much: there's dorkery that goes on here that gets a body banned at SA. The mods there rule with a vicious iron fist that wrapped in not velvet, but spikes. And the spikes are spiked themselves.
posted by boo_radley at 8:39 PM on March 20, 2007


unapologetically assholish behavior will probably live a good two or three hours minimum.

But the resulting bitterness can potentially last a lifetime.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:41 PM on March 20, 2007


Also, Barbers Adiago for strings came on melangell's post, lending it a poignancy it would have lacked otherwise.
posted by boo_radley at 8:42 PM on March 20, 2007


came on while I was reading melangell's post, dammit. My new pain meds have me hugh as two kites.
posted by boo_radley at 8:43 PM on March 20, 2007


boo_radley: It's the goading and encouraging people to flame out that is more accepted at SA. That's what I mean.
posted by oaf at 8:43 PM on March 20, 2007


But the resulting bitterness can potentially last a lifetime.

Longer, if one believes in both reincarnation and a really good grudge.

Also, Matt closed the melangell post before I finished writing a good reply. Damn thread-closing admins.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:45 PM on March 20, 2007


cortex: could an admin close a post so well that an admin could not reply to it?
* Raises eyebrow, nods.
posted by boo_radley at 8:47 PM on March 20, 2007


Everything important gets posted and discussed on the orange, anyway.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:50 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


You've said too much!!!
posted by boo_radley at 8:51 PM on March 20, 2007


If it becomes AskMe for questions about MeFi, then I say boo sir, boo indeed!

I am going to have to kill you. Would you prefer dramatic and agonizing, or boring and painless?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:52 PM on March 20, 2007


"If there have been a spate of those lately, well, shit: spates are sons of bitches like that."

This sounds like a great alt-country chorus waiting to happen (well, adjusted for meter).

And I'm so swiping "high as two kites."

(I'm not swiping "hugh as two kites" because I don't know Hugh.)
posted by klangklangston at 8:58 PM on March 20, 2007


          \\//
      ⊂(@ @)⊃
 -oOO- (_)- OOo-

 Kilroy was Close!
posted by taosbat at 9:01 PM on March 20, 2007


shut up, shut UP, SHUT UP!
posted by edgeways at 9:04 PM on March 20, 2007


when i see a closed thread i always imagine punching mathowie in the face until he cries. i suspect this is mentally unhealthy.
posted by quonsar at 9:11 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


But it's petty funny, quonsar. [NOT TYPO!]
posted by cgc373 at 9:15 PM on March 20, 2007


I don't have a life. My cold dark heart lives to hate all of you. When you prematurely close a thread, sometimes my hate cannot fully manifest. It makes me sad.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:19 PM on March 20, 2007


The Chinese have a lock on the prostitution business in Kabul. There are a number of "Chinese Restaurants" where food is unavailable, filled with stocky villagers from Fujian and Guangdong ready to provide a massage upstairs for fifty bucks or so.

Every once in a while the vice squad will close one down. My guess is that happens when they neglect to pay the proper bribes.

Why Chinese? You'd think that Tajiks, Uzbeks and Kyrgyz would be competitive in this market.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:35 PM on March 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Blame the new guy.
posted by BeerFilter at 9:43 PM on March 20, 2007


About 80% of the threads are closed for technical reasons. Someone presents a technical bug or issue, I fix it, and we're done, so I close it. I do this because in the past someone would pop in two weeks later and post "oh, but there's also this other bug" and I'd never see it and they'd be upset because I didn't respond and didn't fix it. If I close the tech problems as I solve them, then those metatalk threads work like a bug tracker and I can whack them one at a time without losing track of them.

About 20% of the time they are closed for social reasons, and it's one of two reasons. One reason (like today) was a new user making a ridiculous "censorship!" claim and didn't understand the basics of chatfilter. Everyone was already piling on the person in the first ten comments or so, so I closed it because there would be 200 more people mocking the poster by morning. This is how MeFi and MetaTalk get a bad reputation for flame-outs, flame wars, and being a brutal place to interact with people. It brings out the worst, so I closed it before it could get too bad.

The other social reason is when someone does the whole "hey, hey, everybody, look at meeeee!" thing. It's usually a stunt to get attention and leads to the whole cult of personality crap that doesn't work so well in a community. Also, it tends to turn into the entire community vs. that person and some people feed on attention, even when it's negative and love those sorts of things. So I close those before they get out of hand.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 9:50 PM on March 20, 2007 [3 favorites]


i have developed a theory: there would be fewer shitty MeTa threads closed if people started fewer shitty MeTa threads. cortex is right; there's been an unbelievable amount of crap on the grey lately. and given the usual state of MeTa, that's saying something.
posted by spiderwire at 9:58 PM on March 20, 2007


MetaFilter: punching mathowie in the face until he cries.
posted by Duncan at 10:01 PM on March 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


Just open up an IRC channel for MetaYammer and let people go in and let their flames burn up about various things and I honestly believe that plenty of folks would get satisfaction from having a metachatty conversation about the types of things that are consistently closed in metatalk. :) Of course, I'm crazy.
posted by smallerdemon at 10:01 PM on March 20, 2007


You may be able to close any thread you wish, but you'll never close my heart!
posted by loquacious at 10:02 PM on March 20, 2007


Or, to put in another way:

You can close threads any time you like
But you can never log
[three minute guitar solo]

posted by cortex (staff) at 10:06 PM on March 20, 2007


lmao butts
posted by keswick at 10:50 PM on March 20, 2007


'Cause no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

/Charlie Rich ~ 70s childhood nostaglia moment
posted by amyms at 10:58 PM on March 20, 2007


"lmao butts"

Our school just retained the legal team of Butzel Long, which, when pronounced, sounds like "Butt so long," and is therefore hilarious. We at the paper have taken to referring to them as Dickso Big.

It is totally childish and awesome.
posted by klangklangston at 11:01 PM on March 20, 2007


A friend of my girlfriend insists that it's pronounced "skatch" in Philidelphia, but I don't know if he'd just trying to make that happen, you know, as a random catch phrase.

Stop trying to make "skatch" happen, Klang. It's not going to happen.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:54 PM on March 20, 2007


I have read (most of) this thread and I am puzzled by the lack of blame for what was previously a routinely mentioned cause of icky substandard posts. The blue now lists 50450 mefites - won't someone think of blaming the noobs?
posted by Cranberry at 11:55 PM on March 20, 2007


My Dearest Love,

Please understand that I think of you with each passing beat of my heart. A steamship sounded its horn, and it reminded me of the time we spent picnicking near the old mill. Oh, how you laughed when those geese swam by the stream!

There's talk of unrest, but I say it's nothing. I have the utmost of confidence in the Kaiser's actions. We'll get through this in no time at all, you'll see.

Until my next letter, my pet! Remain true to me as always!

posted by Smart Dalek at 12:13 AM on March 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


and we talked about it offband

cortex, you owe us an apology for saying that. Using the word "offband" when your boss wasn't holding a gun to your head? For shame, sir, for shame.

Otherwise, yeah, I agree.
posted by Ryvar at 12:44 AM on March 21, 2007


Ambrosia,

Perhaps one day, if the fates allow it, we will feed the ducks Bourbon-soaked pieces of bread and make a sport of their drunken flailings. This would, if only for the briefest of moments, make this world a bearable place.

Thinking of you fondly,

Complexia.
posted by The God Complex at 12:51 AM on March 21, 2007


Next year in Jerusalem!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:13 AM on March 21, 2007


Intended primarily as a growth system for users of Models 65 and 75, the Model 85 was developed as a natural evolutionary phase in SYSTEM/360 architecture. The Model 85 central processing unit is based upon solid-state technology that offers significant advantages over the circuit technology employed in Models 65 and 75. These advantages take the form of improved reliability, speed, and packaging densities. However, going beyond a performance gain attributable to technology, the Model 85 design objectives set out to raise throughput performance by exploiting system organizational potentialities within SYSTEM/360 architecture. For example, system performance can be enhanced by attaching as much as four million bytes of main storage. Fast tape units are now available to support high throughput in a tape oriented environment...
posted by killdevil at 1:34 AM on March 21, 2007


Because of the homogeneity of the spacetime and the mutual twisting of our family of timelike geodesics, it is more or less inevitable that the Gödel spacetime should have closed timelike curves (CTC's). Indeed, there are CTCs through every event in the Gödel spacetime. This causal anomaly seems to have been secretly regarded as the whole point of the model by Gödel himself, who allegedly spent the last two decades of his life searching for a proof that death could be cheated, and apparently felt that this solution provided the desired proof. This strange conviction came to light decades after his death, when his personal papers were examined by a startled astronomer.
posted by spiderwire at 1:52 AM on March 21, 2007


Good points, killedevil ands spiderwire. Good points.
posted by Catfry at 2:29 AM on March 21, 2007


Good points, killdevil ands spiderwire. Good points.
posted by Catfry at 2:29 AM on March 21, 2007


Doubly good even.
posted by Catfry at 2:30 AM on March 21, 2007


Catfry has spoken.
posted by cgc373 at 3:13 AM on March 21, 2007


Catfry has spoken again.
posted by cgc373 at 3:13 AM on March 21, 2007


I just like to say Catfry.

Catfry Catfry Catfry Catfry Catfry.
posted by cgc373 at 3:14 AM on March 21, 2007


It is the will of Ellwend.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:32 AM on March 21, 2007


How's your creel?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:32 AM on March 21, 2007


cortex writes: "...it seems to me that Matt's tendency in the last couple years has been to close the stupidest of the stupid more often..."

This is no doubt true, but I'd also suggest that Matt sometimes closes threads to save the poor bastard who started it from getting too trounced, from getting too torn apart by the snarling hounds from hell that MeFiers can sometimes become. I think this is sometimes the real reason he shuts down a thread, especially when said poor bastard is a newbie, and doesn't really know the ropes yet. In other words, Matt is showing... mercy.

Anyway, that's what I want to believe...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:06 AM on March 21, 2007


Stop it cgc373, you are de-actualizing my name.
posted by Catfry at 4:07 AM on March 21, 2007


Inga!
posted by liquorice at 4:22 AM on March 21, 2007


Mmmmm, Catfry.
posted by antifuse at 4:38 AM on March 21, 2007


Is leaving this thread open some kind of lurkbait, or what? I'm doing my best, but sheesh ...
posted by rudster at 5:00 AM on March 21, 2007


I just like to say rudster.

rudster rudster rudster rudster rudster.

Okay, Catfry, you're off the hook.
posted by cgc373 at 5:10 AM on March 21, 2007


these threads are being used by secret agents to communicate important matters ... we would have to kill you if we told you about them

if the threads are closed, that means the matter was concluded quickly and successfully ... if not

if we ever have more than 5,000 comments on a post, i suggest you go to your nearest fallout shelter, sit on a bag of sugar, crouch, put your head between your knees and kiss your sweet ass goodbye
posted by pyramid termite at 5:12 AM on March 21, 2007


Stop it, cgc373; you're turning my handle into something meaningless.
posted by rudster at 5:19 AM on March 21, 2007


Well, since the MeTa below was closed, I'd just like to tell anyone who ever has or will mention their precious five dollars that I paid my five dollars ($5.7993 CAD!!!) with the expectation that admins will do their best to ensure the site is clear of your moronically shitty cruft.

Or should I start a new MeTa for this?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:04 AM on March 21, 2007


Actually Burhanistan I also do that thing you do. Only I tend to add a running narration, and imagine the audience to be Japanese anthropologists from the future. It's my sincere belief that these guys are unshockable and totally non-judgemental. I'm not at all like those strange, and sometimes faintly scary, guys one sometimes sees in post office queues or walking down the street having animated conversations with themselves. Oh no, I fully realize my audience is imaginary. I mean, if I seriously believed they were real it would invalidate their results, and they'd probably stop watching.
posted by econous at 6:56 AM on March 21, 2007


caddis writes "It's not each and every one, it's the volume."

Usually, the argument is "don't bother deleting bad stuff, unless the volume of it starts increasing". You're saying "delete the bad stuff, unless the volume of it starts increasing". Why would you be ok with deleting useless MetaThreads except when there are a lot of them?
posted by Bugbread at 6:57 AM on March 21, 2007


I'd be interested in arguments for why truly, truly shitty threads should be left to explode. Preferably arguments that amount to more than "lol", in particular.

How about lol in general, cortex?
posted by Kwine at 7:04 AM on March 21, 2007


This is no doubt true, but I'd also suggest that Matt sometimes closes threads to save the poor bastard who started it from getting too trounced, from getting too torn apart by the snarling hounds from hell that MeFiers can sometimes become.

Ah, see: that falls within my definition of "the stupidest of the stupid", so we're wholly in agreement. People tearing a new one out of someone who has been here long enough to know better, on a brand new vector (as opposed to Rematch Number Seventeen), regarding a real issue? That's not quite the same as either a dios-AR rehash or a blundering noob unmindfully starting their own lynching. Either of those latter will lead to just pure plain ugliness, and we've seen it all before.

posted by cortex (staff) at 7:06 AM on March 21, 2007


There have been a lot of ridiculous threads on MeTa lately, and it has become quite tiresome running from thread to thread with rotten tomatoes, pitchforks, kindling, and snarker rifles in search of the best trainwreck of the day.

And klang: "skatch" brings to mind the flattened accents of the midwest (esp. Chicago). I haven't heard "skatch" much, but people do flatten and strectch some of the vowels around here, for instance the "a" in "ask" often sounds like "yeah" minus the "y" sound.
posted by Mister_A at 7:19 AM on March 21, 2007


I just like to say "skatch."

skatch skatch skatch skatch skatch.

Okay, now you're off the hook, rudster.
posted by cgc373 at 7:23 AM on March 21, 2007


The deletions and closings in general annoy me, but none of the recent closings seemed particularly egregious. I'm just saddened that we've come to a point where it makes sense to force people to shut up sometimes. Oh well, it won't make me leave or anything so don't get your hopes up.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:26 AM on March 21, 2007


I've been annoyed by this too.
posted by delmoi at 7:36 AM on March 21, 2007


Skatch-mo
posted by Mister_A at 7:41 AM on March 21, 2007


metafilter: rotten tomatoes, pitchforks, kindling and snarker rifles
posted by lonefrontranger at 7:43 AM on March 21, 2007


I did think this closure was poorly timed. Threads shouldn't be closed minutes after someone has drops a bunch of utter crap. But I emailed cortex about it and he convinced me that it more a case of unfortunate timing than a deliberate effort to allow the crapper to have the last word.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:50 AM on March 21, 2007


Does Catfry rhyme with belfry?
posted by owhydididoit at 7:57 AM on March 21, 2007


Yeah, it was sort of a no-win. I heard from both principals in the argument being rehashed, too, so it's a case of impossible justice. That was just a bad-news afternoon in general; that I've gotten a bit of gruff over the notion that my timing was a deliberate social or political statement of some sort is not really surprising but is kind of silly.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:00 AM on March 21, 2007


See, Freud explained this all: it's the battle between the superego and the id. The id wants those threads open for entertainment on a boring day. But the superego knows that it is best for the community to reduce the level of nastiness and conflict. And then at some point we fear castration, have sex with mum, kill the primal father, and then eat prey to re-enact the slaying the primal father. So I guess that the mum is jessamyn and mathowie is the primal father and cortex is the either castrator or the prey for us to eat.. I can't be sure because that class was a 9am class, and I mostly slept through it hungover.
posted by dios at 8:06 AM on March 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


Good one dios! Sorry for the cannibalism, patricide, and incest, dearest moderators.
posted by Mister_A at 8:11 AM on March 21, 2007


So what's Alex called these days?
posted by econous at 8:22 AM on March 21, 2007


Not late for dinner, if you know what's good for you.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:31 AM on March 21, 2007


cgc373: turn my handle, I dast ya.
posted by flabdablet at 8:32 AM on March 21, 2007


I'm just saddened that we've come to a point where it makes sense to force people to shut up sometimes.

The best flameout thread we had in the last week or so, the Sukhiari thread, was left open... it was making me wince it was so bad.
posted by spiderwire at 8:52 AM on March 21, 2007


You got your id in my superego.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:56 AM on March 21, 2007


Actually, Sukiari started his own bleedingly stupid thread, but it got nuked and what we saw was spillover into the nearest available metatalk. The wincing badness we saw was a pale shadow, is the impressive thing.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:57 AM on March 21, 2007


I'm older than my parents and my castrator.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:59 AM on March 21, 2007


I think it is wise to nuke the ever-loving shit out of any post that contains "$5", "five dollars", "5 bucks", or any other textual representation of a half a sawbuck. That's what Jesus would do.
posted by Mister_A at 9:01 AM on March 21, 2007


So what's Alex called these days?

Alex Reynolds? Blazecock Pileon.
posted by nanojath at 9:10 AM on March 21, 2007


Could we just leave this thread open indefinitely? I just set it as my default page.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:24 AM on March 21, 2007


the caddis theorem (with apologies):

A metatalk thread specifically addressing the closing of threads will either be closed within five minutes of when Matt first sees it or never closed at all.

There is a certain provocative juju about invoking thread closure, I guess; raises the stakes, perception-wise, on electing to flip the switch. I'd be curious to see what the spread is, historically.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:30 AM on March 21, 2007


A day without a 100+ comment Metatalk thread is like a day without sunshine.
posted by Otis at 9:39 AM on March 21, 2007


I admit to feeling a slight twinge of disappointment when I see a good pile on cut down before its prime. It's like those dark years of the NHL when they banned fighting. But with MetaFilter, I come for the links and stay for the snark.
posted by slogger at 10:14 AM on March 21, 2007


Sorry for the cannibalism, patricide, and incest, dearest moderators.

Careful, you'll get the thread closed!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:14 AM on March 21, 2007


Christ, I don't remember making any of those posts.
posted by boo_radley at 10:17 AM on March 21, 2007


allow the crapper to have the last word

People who worry about having the last word are the reason why we need thread closings in the first place.
posted by fuzz at 10:34 AM on March 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


POSTING IN A STICKY
posted by quarter waters and a bag of chips at 10:56 AM on March 21, 2007


This thread is closing in on me... can't breathe... Oh, wait - It was just sleep apnea.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:57 AM on March 21, 2007


Care to expound on the snark, fuzz? It sounds nice, but I don't really see the cause and effect you apparently find obvious.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 11:02 AM on March 21, 2007


I also like leaving threads open for their longboat potentiality, but think that leaving an open opportunity to pile on some poor schmuck with an over inflated sense of entitlement is a bad idea, no matter how fun it is. I also like run on sentences and improper use of commas.

Not that anyone cares. If I left and never came back again, you'd still have my five dollars, right?
posted by shmegegge at 11:03 AM on March 21, 2007


Nuke shmegegge plz kthxbye.
posted by Mister_A at 11:06 AM on March 21, 2007


Care to expound on the snark, fuzz? It sounds nice, but I don't really see the cause and effect you apparently find obvious.

Consider what would have happened if, instead of dios getting the last word in on the thread in question, y2karl did. Then, boom, closure; and the situation remains equally unjust. So, then, what? Let the otherside rebut? And then the other? And so on, into a lengthy and tiresome rehash.

I don't know fuzz's mind, but I do know that that sort of antagonistic lastwordism is a huge pain in the ass and reason enough to cut off an old argument when a nasty rehash starts to kick up; if that's what he's getting at, I agree with him.

I've seen arguments around here end with a respectful verbal handshake and disengagement. It's great when that happens, and it's pretty much the opposite of the NO U sort of cycle that kicks up around here sometimes.

I also like leaving threads open for their longboat potentiality, but think that leaving an open opportunity to pile on some poor schmuck with an over inflated sense of entitlement is a bad idea, no matter how fun it is.

Amen.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:12 AM on March 21, 2007


I think it is wise to nuke the ever-loving shit out of any post that contains "$5", "five dollars", "5 bucks"...

What, no more cheap prostitutes?
posted by CKmtl at 11:13 AM on March 21, 2007


reason enough to cut off an old argument when a nasty rehash starts to kick up

But that's closing the thread because it's become a nasty rehash, not because someone is "worried" about getting the last word. Maybe that's a pedantic difference, but fuzz's description sounds like any heated debate should be cut off, that heated debate itself (well, the debaters) is the reason we can't have open threads.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 12:02 PM on March 21, 2007


cheers nanojath, I rather like the Blazecock Pileon, I somehow thought Alex must be someone loathsome from the way dios was describing him.
posted by econous at 12:08 PM on March 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


Ah, I gotcha, ahfU.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:10 PM on March 21, 2007


What cortex said. At the center of any trainwreck or flameout, you'll inevitably find one or more people who feel strongly that they have to "win" the argument or get the last word in. At that point, it either turns into a rehash or gets personal.

As for heated debate, heat is the not the same as light. When people think they're having an argument instead of a conversation, the debate becomes more about winning than about anyone actually learning something. If the debate is actually about ideas, it doesn't get heated and the mods generally leave it open.
posted by fuzz at 12:22 PM on March 21, 2007


Thanks, fuzz. I'm very much with you on the "winning" thing, though I cannot claim innocence.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 12:34 PM on March 21, 2007


econous writes "cheers nanojath, I rather like the Blazecock Pileon, I somehow thought Alex must be someone loathsome from the way dios was describing him."

My memory may be faulty, but I remember Alex Reynolds coming off very differently when he was Alex Reynolds (or Rothko, his second account) and now as Blazecock Pileon. In fact, for the longest time, I assumed someone else was Blazecock Pileon, and put in "Alex Reynolds" as his real name as a joke, because the posting style is so different. Now I think it really is Alex Reynolds, and something quite good has happened in his life, as I think Blazecock Pileon is swell.

(Sorry, Blazecock, that comes off as being quite the backhanded compliment, but that's not really what I mean. Trust that it was meant as a sincere compliment)
posted by Bugbread at 1:04 PM on March 21, 2007


What happens to a thread unclosed?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?
posted by hermitosis at 1:46 PM on March 21, 2007 [2 favorites]


Hey I like blazecock too. Hehe I giggled just typing that.
posted by Mister_A at 2:30 PM on March 21, 2007


"Longboat potentiality" would be a great band name.</Dave Barry>
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:31 PM on March 21, 2007


I'm very much with you on the "winning" thing, though I cannot claim innocence.

Heh. So, I think, it goes for anyone with a nuanced position on the subject. God knows I've done it more than once.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:31 PM on March 21, 2007


There once was a MetaTalk thread
That was closed off and left there for dead
But the mighty Caddis
Raised such a rubbus
That the admins re-opened it instead
posted by ORthey at 4:15 PM on March 21, 2007


All you anti-conflict people make me sad. This is because I am a bad person.
posted by dame at 4:25 PM on March 21, 2007


I live alone in a cabin in the deep, dark woods of New Hampshire where winter maintains its icy grip even on this first day of Spring. I have a calico cat and pretty much one good friend. Sometimes I suspect that the bellylaughs I get from metatalk threads is all that stands between me and madness. That was supposed to be cute but reads as pitiful. Oh well. More bellylaughs is my request.
posted by Hobgoblin at 4:58 PM on March 21, 2007


All you anti-conflict people make me sad.

If it'll make you feel better, I'll start a fight.
posted by jonmc at 5:04 PM on March 21, 2007


POSTING IN A STICKY

QFT
posted by spiderwire at 5:09 PM on March 21, 2007


in the deep, dark woods of New Hampshire where winter maintains its icy grip even on this first day of Spring

You live an hour and a half from me in decent weather, but my cabin has more rooms than I suspect yours does, and the calicos are all up the road a stretch. I will get to work onthe bellylaughs, but you should come to the next Northern New England meetup.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:16 PM on March 21, 2007


Well, all right, please stop lording your NH wilderness over all of us. I am rightly jealous, living here in ultra density urban sprawlville. It's a hop, skip and jump from Manhattan and the jazz I love, yes, and they pay you a few extra dollars for the high cost of living which if you conserve can mean real savings, but dammit NH has better air, better fishing, better tranquility (OK, not better weather), so stop already.
posted by caddis at 5:40 PM on March 21, 2007


I thought it was blazecock pigeon.

I was wrong.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:43 PM on March 21, 2007


I am confused: who's stalking whom?
posted by taosbat at 6:03 PM on March 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


Christopher is stalking a wild heffalump, that is all.
posted by caddis at 6:08 PM on March 21, 2007


heffalump
posted by taosbat at 6:13 PM on March 21, 2007


That's because you are always as drunk as a Scot.
posted by econous at 7:17 PM on March 21, 2007


A Catholic Scot at that.
posted by econous at 7:18 PM on March 21, 2007


oleo potential hop along boat
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:25 PM on March 21, 2007


The interesting thing is that "Blazecock Pileon" is actually pronounced "Blah-zay-co Pee-lay-o".

Say it, it's fun!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:00 PM on March 21, 2007


Any relation to Dr Leon Sumbitches, Mr CD?
posted by antifuse at 2:43 AM on March 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: all that stands between me and madness.
posted by Duncan at 10:58 AM on March 22, 2007


I've always thought threads get closed because you touch yourself at night.

What, somebody had to say it...
posted by Many bubbles at 7:03 PM on March 22, 2007


I challenge you to show me evidence of any kind that someone had to say that.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:41 PM on March 22, 2007


"I challenge you to show me evidence of any kind that someone had to say that."

While the future is demonstrably non-deterministic, and even stipulating the existence of free will, the past itself is determined and counterfactuals are irrational. Someone had to have said it because someone did say it. The past is immutable. It is necessarily true.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:59 PM on March 22, 2007 [2 favorites]


While the future is demonstrably non-deterministic, and even stipulating the existence of free will, the past itself is determined and counterfactuals are irrational. Someone had to have said it because someone did say it. The past is immutable. It is necessarily true.

That's some grade A bullshit, right there.
posted by shmegegge at 12:17 AM on March 23, 2007


Quantum entanglement called. It said 'mu'.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:57 AM on March 23, 2007


touch yourself at night.

Say it, don't spray it.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 5:40 AM on March 23, 2007


You know, I never understood why dios was going all Mom, Billy's looking at me! about Alex Reynolds favoriting comments regarding him--I mean, c'mon, writing the admins about someone injuriously favoriting a comment about you ? Excuse me, while I pry this  pea  from beneath this mattress... [later] Now, where was I ? Oh, yes, right... Oh, the injustice ! Oh, my god, get out the fainting couch--someone's gonna get the vapors ! --because all I ever saw was this Blazecock Pileon fella, who I thought was just another five dollar noob. Well, now it makes somewhat less than utterly no sense.

I am confused: who's stalking whom?

And this whining about stalking is such nonsense. This is a public forum. There's a hoppin' conversation going on in the room into which you walk and you respond to some comment someone makes. Someone makes a little dig and someone else makes a little dig back. Then someone else independently favorites one little dig or another.

You know, a mild retort does not a stalking make. Some favoriting it even less so. Dhoyt/highsignal starting a Meta thread about matteo's sexist and demeaning treatment of dhoyt/jenleigh with dhoyt/dhoyt and dhoyt/hall_of_robots getting his back--now that's stalking. Let's not degrade the term by applying it to random drive by snarkery made in the crowded room of a well visited thread.
posted by y2karl at 11:21 PM on March 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


ok
posted by taosbat at 7:12 AM on March 24, 2007


"Dhoyt/highsignal starting a Meta thread about matteo's sexist and demeaning treatment of dhoyt/jenleigh with dhoyt/dhoyt and dhoyt/hall_of_robots getting his back--now that's stalking."

It was also crazy hilarious. If that's stalking, I say "Let's have more stalking!"
posted by klangklangston at 7:39 AM on March 24, 2007


OK
posted by taosbat at 8:43 PM on March 24, 2007


So, which one of you is dhoyt?
posted by Dave Faris at 10:02 PM on March 24, 2007


That one.
</Bugs Bunny points at both>
posted by cgc373 at 4:10 AM on March 26, 2007


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