All time favorite comment? August 17, 2008 10:16 AM   Subscribe

Link to your favorite comment.

I try to favorite as many or more comments than I get. I hit the ones that made me laugh, or that I would have written if not beaten to the punch, but many of the ones I favorite I don't think about much down the road.

But some I do.

Like this one: My Favorite. A comment saying the poster would rather die than get a poo transplant.

This makes me laugh to this day.
posted by cjorgensen to MetaFilter-Related at 10:16 AM (247 comments total) 203 users marked this as a favorite

wemayfreeze's deleted comment on the Cool Pool Railing question. YES.
posted by avocet at 10:37 AM on August 17, 2008 [48 favorites]

Oh man, it's still making me laugh. I hope it will get some additional wind out of this thread.
posted by avocet at 10:39 AM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Too many to list, most of them very context-related, but this one stands alone very well:

I can't help but read that as "shoul die at this", which makes no sense until you say it in a bad Connery accent: "She'll die at this"

Trebek: "Mr. Connery, please pick a category."

Connery: "I'll take She'll Die At This for $100, Alex."

Trebek: "That's Should I Eat This, you illiterate haggis-engorged freak!"

Connery: "No, no. She'll Die At This."

Trebek: "How is that a category?! Who will die at what?"

Connery: "Your mother. At this! [frantic hip-thrusting] Hahaha! Got you, you prissy Canadian!"
posted by CKmtl at 1:59 PM on February 25
posted by puritycontrol at 10:40 AM on August 17, 2008 [19 favorites]

This is as good a place as any to ask: Why did rebeccablood's comment in the Sept 11 thread get 25 favorites this week?
posted by gleuschk at 10:41 AM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Some people NEVAR FORGOT
posted by klangklangston at 10:44 AM on August 17, 2008 [12 favorites]

I love a good bingo put down. And anything by Greg Nog.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:50 AM on August 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

Why did rebeccablood's comment in the Sept 11 thread get 25 favorites this week?

It was linked to recently in MetaTalk.
posted by cashman at 10:53 AM on August 17, 2008

My favorite.
posted by Science! at 10:55 AM on August 17, 2008

gleuschk, someone recently linked it as an example of a prediction coming true or something along those lines.

I have a fondness for this mwhybark (hah! just noticed the username) comment. It made me laugh way harder than such a silly joke ought to. Apparently mwhybark and I were the only ones so easily pleased.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:56 AM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is the cutest comment ever, and so disarming. I walked around saying it and smiling for the rest of that month.

posted by cashman at 11:02 AM on August 17, 2008 [20 favorites]

The fifteen-odd comments after this one had me rolling in the aisles. I watched it in real-time with each new one, about two minutes apart, building me up from a smirk all the way to gasping, flailing guffaws. By the time the last one squeezed out I was straining to hold on, red-faced and flushed.

Also, nobody's marquee madness [scroll down and keep going] is a neat diversion.
posted by carsonb at 11:04 AM on August 17, 2008 [18 favorites]

wemayfreeze's deleted comment on the Cool Pool Railing question. YES.

DOUBLE YES. The greatest (needlessly - it totally answered the question) deleted comment of all-time.
posted by ORthey at 11:13 AM on August 17, 2008

Oh Jesus, thanks for the nobody link. That's so much fun to follow.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:15 AM on August 17, 2008

andrew cooke's response to this question asking what kind of pen would be good for use with a Moleskine has long been one of my favorites.
posted by grouse at 11:41 AM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Carsonb, my family thanks you for that particular bit of bond humor - it just brought a bit of life into this road trip through Wisconsin. (We just passed around the iPhone. I think the driver is jealous.)
posted by mismatched at 11:42 AM on August 17, 2008

This one, by Rou_Xenophobe, makes me giggle each time I read it.
posted by jamaro at 11:46 AM on August 17, 2008

This recent one by orthogonality cracked me up.
posted by homunculus at 11:54 AM on August 17, 2008

The greatest (needlessly - it totally answered the question) deleted comment of all-time.

This I might actually agree with.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:54 AM on August 17, 2008

Weed from the corner bottleshop: The weed is all quite potent, but a bit dry...

loquacious of course lives up to his handle. It makes me laugh every time I read it.
posted by rtha at 11:58 AM on August 17, 2008 [3 favorites]

This, from Pastabagel.

And this from dios, which clued me in to the hero that is FE Smith.
posted by djgh at 12:04 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

The thread I linked to above is a little nexus of MeTa oddness. There's mendel's fishtank, a reference to mad ol' Jim Jones, and nobody's business at the end.
posted by carsonb at 12:06 PM on August 17, 2008

eddydamascene on what America's No Child Left Behind law really means.

Zachsmind on Joss Whedon and Firefly.

Jerry Falwell died and dw had the perfect comment.

klangklangston comments on the "what should pussy taste like" thread. Scarabic was also

ThePinkSuperhero comes up with the ultimate indignation card to use against the mods.

Jessamyn lets loose, sorta.

goodnewsfortheinsane had the best pony ever

Jessamyn shoots and scores, again

delmoi, the uberfeminist

vronsky discovers the truth about Ubu.

tristeza has issues.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:07 PM on August 17, 2008 [5 favorites]

I always thought this was so insightful, from eekacat.

This was cute, from Alvy Ampersand.

My all-time favorite, though, would have to be the certain comment from a certain neurosurgeon about a certain scientologist concerning his certain holoproscencephaly.
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 12:19 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

I like comments that make me laugh. I can't seem to pick just one.
posted by nonmerci at 12:27 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

You know, I'll bet they were chuckling about how brilliant this idea was when someone said, "...and the best part is, we'll even give some of the proceeds to charity!" and then everyone burst out laughing.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:16 PM on December 31, 2007
(in response to GiveWell...long thread is long)

And this comment by paulsc, which so perfectly answers the question. One of the most honest and insightful things I've ever read, right up there with George Orwell's Shooting an Elephant.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:27 PM on August 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

Jessamyn's ghost.
posted by mykescipark at 12:37 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that my favorite was a deletion reason by cortex.
posted by JaredSeth at 1:19 PM on August 17, 2008 [4 favorites]

Phanx's translation of "you'll never see a dead cat in a tree" into Latin.
posted by equalpants at 1:34 PM on August 17, 2008

This one had to have taken a lot of effort, and wasn't favorited enough, IMO.
posted by empath at 1:36 PM on August 17, 2008

Fellow humans aren't a burden, they are a gift.

Then I would like to re-gift the neighborhood crackhead who sings "What's Love Got to Do With It?" over and over again at the top of her lungs at 2 am.
posted to MetaFilter by stargell at 4:33 PM on May 20, 2008

I choose this one because I have spent long, wakeful nights listening to drunk frat boys bellowing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling," and it gives me the warm fuzzies to know that I'm not alone in my suffering.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:48 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

posted by emelenjr at 2:00 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Without a doubt, my favorite comment ever on this site was a comment on MetaTalk made by cortex.

The context was that someone had started a MetaTalk thread about some shirts he had made for sale. cortex came into the thread to delete it and chastise the poster for an inappropriate use of MetaTalk when he realised the poster in question was none other than mathowie. This was the resulting comment. Everytime I read it, it cracks me up.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

this recent followup is cool.
posted by Rumple at 2:28 PM on August 17, 2008

The snark crown belongs to dios. Long may he wear it.

Also, robocop is bleeding is a fucking genius.
posted by felix betachat at 2:41 PM on August 17, 2008

This comment by mullacc cracked my shit up.

And for some reason, Wolfdog's comment on the guy breaking his expensive violin makes me laugh every time I read it.
posted by ORthey at 2:50 PM on August 17, 2008

I just gave Pastabagel his 7000th favorite, for his old Mr. Rogers comment. I hope you appreciate it, man, because I can take it away just like that.
posted by Rhaomi at 2:52 PM on August 17, 2008

I use my favorites pretty nearly exclusively to mark things for reference purposes.

jewzilla's correspondence with the patent holder for using a laser pointer to exercise a cat is one of the few exceptions.
posted by ardgedee at 2:59 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wow, that Mr. Rogers comment has almost cracked the record I set with my suicide comment. I guess this is some kind of tortoise/hare virtue-prevails lesson that I've avoided learning my entire life.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 3:04 PM on August 17, 2008

I haven't favorited the Mr. Rogers comment yet, so behave.
posted by ardgedee at 3:06 PM on August 17, 2008

...the record I set with my suicide comment. I guess this is some kind of tortoise/hare virtue-prevails lesson...

It's not a frickin' contest.

A quick perusal of favorited comments reveals that I enjoy puns and references to Footprints, but I can't choose a 'Most favorite'. Too damn many smart and funny people up in this joint.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:18 PM on August 17, 2008

kingfisher, his musclebound cat speaking about Jackass as though described by Herzog.

Just imagining Herzog's voice for the line 'Please light us on fire now, so we have the poetry.' makes me die. Every single time.

And most of robocop is bleeding's popular contributions.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:30 PM on August 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

This comment, by elendil71, warmed my heart so much I still think about it at least once every three weeks or so. Such a lovely story, such a lovely image.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:31 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Cortex's "kirby with a very large penis that is also a sword" was an unexpected bonus in the misandry MeTa thread.
posted by subbes at 3:32 PM on August 17, 2008

One of the many hilarious comments on the training-a-young-man-to-kill-a-bear thread had me laughing for days after I read it.
posted by vodkaboots at 3:40 PM on August 17, 2008

I find that I often use Favorites as a 'vote' on a good post. If the answers in a post contradict each other, I might "Favorite" whoever I think is right." But as for comments that I marked as a Favorite because they were superb?

- Perhaps the only comment on Ask MeFi that ever made me go, "Awww..."
- I like really obscure jokes. One has to get the MeFi convention of a single period denoting a moment of silence, and know that "E" is "." in Morse Code. And yet one can assume that at least 10 people got it.
- In a sea of complicated hypotheses, Mblue nails it with the obvious correct answer.
- Someone finally takes all of the, "IANAL, but you need to get one, not ask here" people to task.
- Civil_Disobedient took the time to make a poem conveying his answer. (And it was a good answer!)
- emelenjr says what we were all thinking.
posted by fogster at 4:24 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

I had no idea that there was a favorite limit per day. This thread pushed me over the edge.

After searching through my favorites for a while, i came up with these.

Digg User revolt over HD-DVD encryption key inspires a great sock puppet.

The Limerick Thread.

The Guy that got stuck in Chinese Handcuffs.

And our dirty jokes for scurius' grandma.
posted by schyler523 at 4:24 PM on August 17, 2008 [3 favorites]

I don't know about all-time, but my subconscious keeps dredging up Greg Nog's sudden assumption of the average Youtube commenter's personality. (See his other comments in that thread to complete the context.)
posted by A dead Quaker at 4:37 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

This comment from ericb makes me laugh more than it should: Hello, ISP...yes, this is David Osbourne calling from MSN/Hotmail.

I don't know DU, but somehow I could picture him saying this comment. And it made me laugh.

Sort of maybe too meta to meet the purpose of the thread, but I have referenced this comment from meehawl listing his own personal best of metafilter.

There are many long posts that I love, posts that touch me or get to me in some way or another but are too long to bubble up in my memory as frequently as the snarks do.
posted by The Loch Ness Monster at 4:52 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is why I come to this site everyday.

Not for one-liners. Not to read why Bush sucks for the 9 zillionith time. Not to pile favorites on 8 paragraph comments that, while eloquently written, wouldn't stand up to even the most cursory critical examination.

Hindmost's comments exposed me to a genuinely touching and fascinating piece of life that I would never have encountered otherwise. In a small way, it made my life better.
posted by drjimmy11 at 4:54 PM on August 17, 2008

Pastabagel's comments in the Georgia Thread.

Farishta's "Short Play About Obituaries."

And of course a little advice from The Straightener which should probably be mandatory reading for anyone about to press the "Post Comment" button.
posted by Navelgazer at 5:06 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

posted by netbros at 5:22 PM on August 17, 2008

drjimmy11, thanks for pointing that out. It was very, very good.
posted by An Infinity Of Monkeys at 5:36 PM on August 17, 2008

It's not a frickin' contest.

Of course it's not; otherwise, I would have linked to it.

Seriously, though: this from crazylegs, this because I love it when TPS doesn't mess around, this because halloween is coming, and this because we need a flag.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:46 PM on August 17, 2008

The first thing that sprung to mind was Ethereal Bligh on narcissism, so that gets my vote.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:50 PM on August 17, 2008

Orthogonality's perfect deadpan smackdown.
posted by flabdablet at 7:05 PM on August 17, 2008

generic230 takes the neighbour's kids to a marionette show.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:16 PM on August 17, 2008

Thread needs more Divine Wino:

On coffee snobbery:

Oh, those coffee beans, well those coffee beans are different, you're totally right about that. Let me tell you what you can do with those special magical coffee beans, because their journey isn't quite complete yet: Just take them one by one and with the tip of your finger gently poke them up your rosebud to save forever with mommies promises that you are a wonderful special totally unique person and maybe cram one of your top 1% of tasters in there as well and then wash your hands very carefully with some hot artisanal volcanic spring water from Java and some soap hand-crafted by organic Swiss soapninja geniuses AND THEN GO GET MY MOTHERFUCKING CUP OF COFFEE THE WAY I ORDERED IT AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING STUPID FACE WHILE YOU DO IT.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:17 AM on July 15 [19 favorites +] [!]

On steampunk:

If you say it while you're wearing some googles and a big flappy leather duster covered with fucking buckles and you have a cellphone with some brass cogs hotglued to it nobody will mind. Pretend you just arrived in a zeppelin.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:19 AM on May 8 [3 favorites +] [!]

On...well, you know:

Exactly, my own living room is festooned with all manner of political protest signs, as everyone knows that is where they do the most good. Now that we have responded to Dr. Mr. Lieutenant Octopussy Colostomy Bag Abe Vigoda what say we resume the thread as if he never arrived?
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:47 PM on July 7 [22 favorites +] [!]
posted by The Straightener at 7:26 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

stubby phillips' run-in with a non-acquantaince.

loquacious' dismissal of Los Angeles.

ColdChef's chilling description of Turtle Land.

Rhaomi's entry for Wikipedia's defense crews.

It's Raining Florence Henderson's concise critique of WW2.

uncleozzy's review of Yahoo! Answers.

XQUZYPHYR's irate letter to Forbes re: Scrooge McDuck.
posted by barnacles at 7:27 PM on August 17, 2008

Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture was one of my first favorites.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:30 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

I liked loiseau's thoughts on lonely ladies.
posted by zadcat at 7:33 PM on August 17, 2008

- Do image comments count?
- koeslitz on how to be good.
- scary aneurysm/brain surgery thread and resolution
- majick's all-purpose MeTa reply
- iconomy's turtle suit story
- but this comment by quin, this "how do we become 'that guy'?" comment may be my all time fave
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:39 PM on August 17, 2008

It's not a frickin' contest.
-Of course it's not

Actually, I may have to backtrack on my position after reading the generic230 comment UbuRoivas linked to; if that ain't pure, unadulterated WIN (At MeFi, at life, whatever), I don't know what is.
Goddamn, never has been proven wrong felt so right.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:44 PM on August 17, 2008

One of my favorites from Dr. Boom
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 7:48 PM on August 17, 2008

As though this will surprise anyone: Astro Zombie on Omaha. Also, Bookhouse reveals his secret identity.
posted by pxe2000 at 7:58 PM on August 17, 2008

posted by unknowncommand at 8:07 PM on August 17, 2008

Do image comments count?

In that case...
posted by homunculus at 8:08 PM on August 17, 2008

One of the many hilarious comments on the training-a-young-man-to-kill-a-bear thread had me laughing for days after I read it.

As did kittens for breakfast's analysis of whether a typical 18yo man, armed only with a knife, (say, six or eight inches long) be trained to consistently "win" fights with a starving velociraptor.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:13 PM on August 17, 2008

This one was great because joaquim just jumped on the opportunity hard with both feet.

This just makes me laugh because I love serial things with ordinal descriptors like first or last... thanks Floydd.

And this one (Parasite Unseen) combines a lot of things I like D&D, jokes about D&D, the moderators, jokes about the moderators, and filthy language.

The rest of the site pretty much sucks.
posted by Mister_A at 8:23 PM on August 17, 2008

In the bloody-minded, please-don't-do-this, i-didn't-even-actually-favorite-it category: Rhomboid's CSRF demo.

In the i-almost-miss-the-img-tag category: Plutor's banner ad.

And a double whammy for the name-checking and the mamet-riffing categories, good old fatti's Glengarrification of mefi.

I can't pick favorites, but those are some that I sure like.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:25 PM on August 17, 2008

Great thread. I would like to add -- Ubu's about me from his profile page :)
posted by vronsky at 8:42 PM on August 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

Here's my favorite all-time comment:

Come on, now, you guys know you secretly love it every time America takes another step closer to becoming your favorite dystopic science fiction novel.
posted by The Straightener at 11:09 AM on July 12 [2 favorites -] Favorite added! [!]

(And I actually said at the time that it was the funniest comment I had read on Metafilter.)
posted by jayder at 8:50 PM on August 17, 2008

Oh please. No contest:

Stan Chin's reaction to Scarabic's bloodless and bloody minded dissection of exactly how to get rid of a body.

No contest at all.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:59 PM on August 17, 2008 [3 favorites]

ND¢'s follow-up roundup: evolution of love (and sex)

Recent, but sums up... a lot!
posted by Ky at 9:11 PM on August 17, 2008

So, if any of you wonder why your comment from 3 years ago was suddenly favorited, I'm letting you know that this thread is to blame.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:16 PM on August 17, 2008

(Also: I wish I could favorite ND¢'s profile about section.)
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:22 PM on August 17, 2008 [3 favorites]

Ubu's about me from his profile page :)

Aw! :D
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:22 PM on August 17, 2008

The best thing about threads like this is the residual favorites it generates. It's like being a snark billionaire and living off the dividends.
posted by mullacc at 9:40 PM on August 17, 2008 [10 favorites]

MelissaMay does everything I love about MeFi in one comment: she explores a fairly minute facet of pop-culture in a personal and peculiar way and I find myself in total agreement with something that has never even occurred to me before.
posted by dirtdirt at 9:41 PM on August 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

ND¢'s follow-up roundup: evolution of love (and sex)

Wow, ND¢, Anonymous is a fucking basketcase.

Heh, not a favourite comment per se, but it was fun when Aloyisius Bear & I were vying for the love of Anonymous.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:03 PM on August 17, 2008

In the bloody-minded, please-don't-do-this, i-didn't-even-actually-favorite-it category:

Rhomboid's Successful Test (Scroll all the way up to the top of the page.)
posted by carsonb at 10:09 PM on August 17, 2008

I assume someone has mentioned We have cameras.
posted by null terminated at 10:15 PM on August 17, 2008

Way, way, way too many comments to mention. The wit, wisdom, verbal eloquence and snark of all you crazy monkeys are what keep me coming back, but here are four comments that come immediately to mind:

--nickyskye's comments about meeting Joseph Cornell
--MiguelCardoso's comment on various types of orgasms in Portugal
--stavrosthewonderchicken's Yeats parody
--quonsar has tons of great quips and pithy, acerbic comments but his heartfelt apology to mathowie was very classy
posted by madamjujujive at 10:26 PM on August 17, 2008

I have a billion most beloved comments, my favorites in my profile only scratch the surface, but I thank you especially The Straightener, I am humbled indeed, because you got fuckin jokes.

I like these: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (I miss Smedleyman), 6, 7, 8 (almost made me puke from giggling and agreeing.) 9 For dead ass nailing it, thepinksuperhero usually wins. 10 best ASCII comment. 11 For laughing through the tears. 12 Sexy tit flavored ale! 13 The virgins, this being Metafilter, would, of course, all be male. 14, C'mon "Yourmomides." 15 So I think girlfriend does deserve some small measure of respect for remaining relatively easy breezy by comparison. 16, 17 No plastic. 18 Because the Mayor is mean and angry and funny. 19Quoted for truth. 20 And rather than try to collect his many perfect one-liners, jonmc ladies and gents.

Y'all are all pretty much wicked funny, which is amazing. Now that we've all got done sucking each other off, who wants a croque monsieur?
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:40 PM on August 17, 2008

I'm slightly afraid to ask if that's American slang for some kind of bizarre sex act.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:49 PM on August 17, 2008

Any comment that states that the user would hit it. Mostly because it means I won't have to endure friends' puzzled looks when I explain how cool I think "Cooter" is.
posted by not_on_display at 10:56 PM on August 17, 2008

I liked it when Stan Chin said "you white fuckfaces." Gets me every time.
posted by mullacc at 10:57 PM on August 17, 2008

I'm slightly afraid to ask if that's American slang for some kind of bizarre sex act.

For sure.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:07 PM on August 17, 2008

Well, I'll try anything once, so croque me!
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:11 PM on August 17, 2008

Tkchrist's comments in the Count Dante thread.
posted by vronsky at 11:14 PM on August 17, 2008

that sure was different. i think i'd prefer my croque with a little less cheese next time, though. *wipes face*
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:47 PM on August 17, 2008

Too many favorites to count, but one of the first ones I can remember being moved by was dobbs' story in Brando's obit post.
posted by marsha56 at 2:04 AM on August 18, 2008

This one by Stubby Phillips and this one by Robocop is Bleeding.
posted by Jofus at 2:53 AM on August 18, 2008

"Someone on Metafilter is calling you a genius," my wife calls from the office.

"S'bout time," I say, flicking the switch on the coffeemaker up and down a few times. Why did I think opening a second bottle on a work night was a good idea. Some genius.

"You should go thank them," she says as she comes into the kitchen.

"Why?" Ah. That's it. Coffeemakers need to be plugged in to perform their primary function. I try to plug it in without my wife noticing and she pretends not to even though it takes me two tries.

"Because it's polite."

"But I'm a genius now. I don't have to be polite." The coffeemaker starts to burble nicely.

"You can mention your new blog and how wonderful it is." She peeks into the pot to make sure I remembered to put coffee grounds in this time.

"Woah, woah, woah," I say, "This may be an entirely fictional conversation, but that seems a bit much. I can just go barreling into every thread blurting out about the wondiferous content on my site. It's just crass. Not very genius-like."

"But you know you want to."

"Oh, yes. Desperately. We geniuses all have a not very well hidden need for the approval of others. It is one of the ancient ways of my people. So we have to be all cunning when we self promote. Subtle."

"What's so subtle about this? We never even had this conversation. I'm still upstairs asleep." She's right. "You're using my good name to shill for you."

"Yes, but this way, I'm not actually shilling. It's post modern," I say. She shakes her head. "Magical realism?" I raise.

Again, she shakes her head. "You'll have to do better. All that's been done."

"Well," I say, getting desperate. I look around and grab my breakfast as it pops out of the toaster. "I could put these waffles on my head and sing a little song. That'd be pretty Dada, right?"

"This is beginning to insult my fictional intelligence," she says, "I'm going back to fictional bed."

"SwweeEEEeeettttt DdddrrrreeeEEEEAAAaaaammssssss," I croon, syrup running down my scalp.

Some genius.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:43 AM on August 18, 2008 [29 favorites]

Pretty much anything by this guy.
posted by Wolof at 4:57 AM on August 18, 2008

yeh, quidnunc is cool. another of us 18th of November kids, by the way.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:07 AM on August 18, 2008

spiderwire's outline of Hit 'Em Up.
posted by shadow vector at 5:38 AM on August 18, 2008

Hey! Thanks for kind words. They make me happy.

You should totally check out my new blog. It is awesome and wonderful and full of win.
posted by loquacious at 5:47 AM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

Also, I have many favorite comments but I'm too jealous to post them. *eyes writerly brainiacs warily*
posted by loquacious at 5:49 AM on August 18, 2008

yoinks loquacious' drink while he's eyeing the writerly brainiacs
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:00 AM on August 18, 2008

You is both have same new blog? Unpossible!
posted by Mister_A at 6:36 AM on August 18, 2008

Thanks marsha56!
posted by dobbs at 6:38 AM on August 18, 2008

I loved this:


Who am I kidding? I am never really going to close the dork tag.

And this John Cage anecdote.

I'm bizarrely proud of my early championship of felix's trickle-charging story-telling bear story.

mathowie's Pixies sense of humor.
posted by cgc373 at 6:46 AM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

I tend to like it when Divine_Wino talks about food.

But really it's this one, which is food-but-not-Divine_Wino-related.
posted by Kwine at 7:08 AM on August 18, 2008

More recent comments (and users) tend to get over-represented in retrospectives of this sort. But way back when MiguelCardoso finally lost his patience with a particularly maddening user, it was with a putdown for the ages.
posted by yhbc at 7:58 AM on August 18, 2008

Kurt is up in heaven now.
posted by ND¢ at 8:05 AM on August 18, 2008

yhbc - man, I'd forgotten what a psycho neu was in his short but brilliant career.
posted by Jofus at 8:16 AM on August 18, 2008

Pretty much anything by ColdChef, IRFH, and Divine Wino. That fucking troika of savants humbles my dopey ass.
posted by jonmc at 8:24 AM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

(also sorry for being late to this thread, but I had to spend the weekend peeing in an orange jug and somebody turned off our cable. On tuesday, I'm meeting an ex I haven't seen in 17 years. We're bringing breezeway along.)
posted by jonmc at 8:26 AM on August 18, 2008

I'm enjoying this thread so much I decided to review my favorites again and share some of my favorite advice from AskMeta:

If I really want a taco, but someone brings me a burrito instead, my immediate natural response may well be, "FUCK THIS I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE ME THAT HORRIBLE SUBSTITUTE"" - Greg Nog

Do not, under any circumstances, fall in with the panic monkeys. - teleri025

I have tried to explain to her that when men in their 30's "just so happen" to keep winding up with 21 year old girls, it says quite a lot about what they are really looking for.. - hermitosis

It's not "bold" and "forward" to ask a man out, this isn't 1950. - Lyn Never

My experience is that an expectation is just a resentment waiting to happen...And a resentment will fester. It's like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. - essexjan

If you go, don't complain. If you don't go, don't whine about why you're not going. To avoid this in the future, do the planning yourself. - occhiblu

Being boring, incidentally, creates guilt in the person who's being bored. I feel guilty posting this, because it feels mean. I wouldn't mind half so much being bored to death by you or someone like you, if it didn't make me feel like a bad person. That is another reason to stop being boring as fast as you can. - ikkyu2

So many of us, myself included, spend years in the fallacy that to make our place in the world we have to have an act and believe it. - argybarg
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:32 AM on August 18, 2008 [3 favorites]

I really like this comment by jasper411.
posted by mattbucher at 8:39 AM on August 18, 2008

There are few things in this world more aggravating than reading a post, taking a brief moment to craft the perfect pithy, punny comment (that is both clever and erudite and yet somehow precisely in the now) only to realize as you are posting it that yhbc has already--once again--beaten you to the punch with a snarky one liner that makes yours look as clumsy as a fat fireman in high heels.

The most recent example, though I could point these out all day long.
posted by ColdChef at 8:51 AM on August 18, 2008

bricoleur on clearing the way for personal peace and quiet. I actually forgot to favorite it until just now, but I think about this comment every day or so, whenever I have to do something stupid like wash my dishes.

Gordion Knott's late cat.

Outside reviewed by aeschenkarnos.

schroedinger hits one out of the park during a misogyny clusterfuck on a subject I am personally furious about on a regular basis.

Honorable mentions for funny to the bucket of cocks, fucknutted chuckleheads, and SEXY SEX PERSON.
posted by clavicle at 8:57 AM on August 18, 2008

Oh, and also: Jessamyn's sex Zamboni.
posted by ColdChef at 8:57 AM on August 18, 2008

I am humbled and honoured to discover that both TPS and the quidnunc kid are my littermates.

There may be better Mefites, but never have so many excellent Mefites been born in one day!

November 18 2004 represent!!!
posted by Meatbomb at 9:00 AM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

I am going to call my band Ninja Pussy Move.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:05 AM on August 18, 2008

You can't go wrong with a good song parody:

adrianhon's "I Am the Very Model of a Mefi Net Contributer"

False Dichotomy's "mathowie's community weblog"
posted by ColdChef at 9:07 AM on August 18, 2008

CunningLinguist wrote: Oh please. No contest:

Stan Chin's reaction to Scarabic's bloodless and bloody minded dissection of exactly how to get rid of a body.

No contest at all.

Damn you, CunningLinguist, I was just about to propose that. Wondrous though scarabic's comment is, it only attains true greatness when you read on to Stan Chin's rejoinder.
posted by jack_mo at 9:07 AM on August 18, 2008

cortex: "In the i-almost-miss-the-img-tag category: Plutor's banner ad."

Not only am I humbled and shocked by being selected for this honor (oh, and let's not forget disgusted by cortex's taste), but the new favorites it attracted inspired me to write this new Greasemonkey script.
posted by Plutor at 9:16 AM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

XQUZYPHYR's "What the queers are doing to our soil."
posted by ColdChef at 9:37 AM on August 18, 2008

ThePinkSuperhero's comment in the entitlement MeTa thread/snark-fest here.

posted by cgomez at 9:41 AM on August 18, 2008

oh, and let's not forget disgusted by cortex's taste

That is, in fact, the only thing you've ever done that I liked at all. Everything else I print out and pin to the wall in my Room Of Death, for future reference.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:41 AM on August 18, 2008

Wondrous though scarabic's comment is, it only attains true greatness when you read on to Stan Chin's rejoinder.


As a major opponent of jokes and off topic remarks in AskMe, I don't know what to make of the fact that the comment would have been deleted nowadays. And I seriously think it's the best thing on the internet.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:49 AM on August 18, 2008

Why thank you, Solon and Thanks!

(and mwhybark is from my actual name - Mike Whybark - just so's ya know.)
posted by mwhybark at 10:12 AM on August 18, 2008

You may want to check out the Noam Chomsky paper "Toward a New Psychoheuristics of Gender: Why All the Bitches Are Crazy" for more perspective. - mattholomew

See Thundarr the Barbarian for details on the outcome of such an event. - Loto

Stop rationalizing why you have to be a kind person. You are under no obligation to give someone your blender, for example, just because you aren't using it. Just mentally substitute the word "vagina" for whatever it is they want and you'll find saying no a lot more palatable.

"Hey, neighbor, can I borrow your vagina? You aren't using it right now!"- MegoSteve

At least he hasn't asked you for a handwriting sample. That's what I did to my parents. I suspected (maybe age 7 or 8), and went into the kitchen with a pen and a legal pad and asked each of them to write "from Santa" for me. - sevenless

I'm going to need, at the bare minimum, a Venn diagram.

I hope that this will suffice. - cortex

"Dear Asshat, you were being an asshat and I removed your asshat comments. Please stop the asshattery, love jessamyn" - jessamyn
posted by nooneyouknow at 10:32 AM on August 18, 2008

Jessamyn's destuffify comment is one I refer back to frequently.
posted by Liosliath at 10:39 AM on August 18, 2008

ColdChef: "XQUZYPHYR's "What the queers are doing to our soil.""

You are aware that that is a Dead Milkmen song, yes?
posted by team lowkey at 10:53 AM on August 18, 2008

This is a great tour of the subjective highlights of the history here. More, please!
posted by Forktine at 10:58 AM on August 18, 2008

Oh man, there have been so many good comments here, I'd hate to try to pick a specific favorite.

Some that came to mind though:

Bighappyfunhouse: Qxvifif - Ah well. We tried. Destroy the planet

Pastabagel's rules for extraordinary claims

flarbuse's personal best speed in a fridge

Shit, I could spend all day going through things I've favorited...

In fact, I think I'll do just that.
posted by quin at 11:03 AM on August 18, 2008

palmcorder_yanja's interview with a cuckold should have about eleventy million more favorites than it does.
posted by bunnytricks at 11:06 AM on August 18, 2008

You are aware that that is a Dead Milkmen song, yes?

No. No, I didn't. The big bright shining light of the world has dimmed just a bit for me.
posted by ColdChef at 11:07 AM on August 18, 2008

ColdChef: "You are aware that that is a Dead Milkmen song, yes?

No. No, I didn't. The big bright shining light of the world has dimmed just a bit for me.

Poop. I'm sorry. :(

It's still a great thing. Just not so much a MeFi great thing.
posted by team lowkey at 11:10 AM on August 18, 2008

Unfortunately, ColdChef, all my comments are quoted song lyrics, too.
Let me stand next to your fire.
posted by yhbc at 11:18 AM on August 18, 2008 [6 favorites]

Even better than the real thing.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:23 AM on August 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Lots of what's great about MetaFilter is the brocade of comments, so much of the enjoyment is contextual. On the phone the other day with a MeFite, we were laughing about funny MetaFilter threads. She likes the hilariousness of some of AskMe ones, the plain silly absurdity of them, like kwantsar's fights with grizzly bear. And the incredibly quick rejoinders, the lickety split snark. While I'm amused by the unexpected, like the zippy ire in the vegan lunchbox thread, which cut through all my nicey nice preconceptions into some dark place I couldn't have possibly imagined. For some reason I find that hilarious, mysterious, fun and entertaining.

There are sooo many absolutely incredibly brilliant comments in this place. You guys are so knowledgeable, so smart, witty, the timing, the playfulness. It's endlessly enjoyable. A lot to love here. Sifting through the treasure chest comparing one gem with another is difficult because each gem has its own wonderful allure.

Pretty much a random selection of rubies, emeralds, opals, diamonds and sapphires:

Decani's outrage

tzikeh's outrage

Malor's outrage

GuyZero's wordplay

vacapinta's first kiss.

Seconding Ubu's About Buddhist wit

Pastabagel's knowledge about the oil thing

the cydonian's compassion

melissa may's wise tenderness

paulsc's winter on the Mystic

Gucky's complex past

Steven C. Den Beste's knowledge of people with the last name "little pieces of shit" in the Netherlands

LobsterMitten's brilliance

robocop is bleeding's anxiety and relief

felix betachat's wisdom about Schadenfreude and projection

Smilla's Sense of Snark's warm heartedness

sequential's knowing milk

It's Raining Florence Henderson's subscription salesman experience

Rumple's dead elephant seal story
posted by nickyskye at 11:27 AM on August 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

I have to agree with the above: we have cameras

A truly sublime comment.
posted by crickets at 12:17 PM on August 18, 2008

I can't find the actual link, but -- a few days ago, in passing, someone began a comment with the phrase "Holy fucking dickbeans", and I giggled to the point of TEARS for a full two and a half minutes.

I still don't know why. I just tickled me (for which I'm grateful, as I've been having a bad month).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:35 PM on August 18, 2008

Is this it?
posted by Brockles at 12:37 PM on August 18, 2008

from the inimitable Pastabagel:

posted by shmegegge at 12:52 PM on August 18, 2008

Is this it?

That's it! Hee! Thanks!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:53 PM on August 18, 2008

Thanks for the ups, avocet. My greatest achievement, all for naught ...

Can someone explain "We have cameras" to a bumbling fool like myself? I'm lost.
posted by wemayfreeze at 1:07 PM on August 18, 2008

Also: to be fair, the original first response on the Cool Pool Railing thread was a pointer to the image sans glasses (from someone I forget who maybe the god of joke setups?). Wasn't cool enough is all.
posted by wemayfreeze at 1:09 PM on August 18, 2008

Look at the post two above it. Someone is getting all serious and making moral judgments.
posted by sanka at 1:10 PM on August 18, 2008

the "we have cameras" thread was about a special deal at bestbuy where you could get a really expensive camera for almost nothing, thanks to a clerical error. someone got all self-righteous in there, and asked said "I don't want to hear ever again about greedy corporations or crooked politicians. You people just showed that you're willing to turn a blind eye when it is to your benefit. How does that make you any different from those you rail against?"

the answer was... "We have cameras."
posted by shmegegge at 1:10 PM on August 18, 2008

This has always been one of my favourites. (Longtime listener, late joiner ...)

OK: Who really wants their grave to be visited?

Actually, I want my grave to visit those I leave behind. Rather than my coffin being buried, it will be fitted with caterpillar treads. My survivors will be required to wear bracelets with small signal emitters in them (this in exchange for a generous share of my truly massive wealth). My remains will then home in on and visit with my loved ones on a random basis. The sight of a wooden box filled with my putrified remains rolling up the driveway will be a cause of great celebration for years and years and years to come.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:17 AM on August 16, 2002

posted by the luke parker fiasco at 1:11 PM on August 18, 2008

Okay, that's weird. The "eaten by agnew" thing was the funniest thing Pretty_Generic ever said, but how did he say it a day earlier in an unrelated, deleted thread? More l33t haxx0ring?
posted by yhbc at 1:21 PM on August 18, 2008

Does anyone know how Pretty_Generic is doing? Every now and then I worry about him like a mom or a big sister.
posted by onlyconnect at 1:30 PM on August 18, 2008

"pitch agnew" has got to be the greatest search string ever.
posted by Skorgu at 1:31 PM on August 18, 2008

Does anyone know how Pretty_Generic is doing?

after marrying an american prostitute in order to gain citizenship, peeg made a killing originating sub-prime mortgages and subsequently retired to his private carribean island, from which he happily posts to metafilter under the nom de plume 'delmoi'.
posted by quonsar at 1:41 PM on August 18, 2008

I totally expected that to end with 'quonsar' and have been posted by delmoi.
posted by GuyZero at 2:06 PM on August 18, 2008

From the Name all 50 states thread:

posted by Green Eyed Monster at 2:23 PM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

We have cameras

Though the snark on that was was nice, snark can always be improved upon with the addition of sex. ND-€ (sorry best I can do, can't find a cent key) posted a gem in the "Williamsburg Avenger" thread.

we had "little" in common
posted by cotterpin at 2:35 PM on August 18, 2008

Several favorites of mine:

interrobang's hypnotic Whitney Music Box

headspace's perspective on the recent Hollywood writers' strike


posted by Neilopolis at 2:49 PM on August 18, 2008

posted by unknowncommand

Simultaneously gratifying and embarrassing; thank you for this veritable cornucopia of emotions.

A couple of my favorites: aeschenkarnos' Outside. The loquacious McCube. The "Banned 4 Lyfe" gif (by #1). "I think you better do something about that rancid pit of elephant seal blubber". And hermitosis explains the Book of Job.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 3:09 PM on August 18, 2008

Where's the NSFW comment where the writer provided what it would look like if a man's "interior dialogue" flew right out of his mouth in front of his wife/girlfriend? I recall it going like, "This is really a nice restaurant I could totally nail the waitress and that woman over there I wonder if we could have a threesome how was your day honey?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:16 PM on August 18, 2008

Boring men.
posted by team lowkey at 3:22 PM on August 18, 2008

Pretty much everything Stan Chin has ever said (someone cited his response to scarabic's "how to destroy evidence of a dead body" comment, and it's a pitch perfect example), plus Pastabagel's reaction to the nerdy boob grabbing convention story. Especially this, which, when I read it the first time, caused a physical response in me. I actually felt a kick in my heart:

What awful non-humans these people want to be. Where is the love of romance? Where is the passion? Don't you want to have the chance to be charming, to be charismatic? Don't you want to connect with someone on so deep a level that they make themselves vulnerable to you? Don't you want to do the same? Don't you want to look into someone else's eyes and explore the unfathomable mystery you find there?

Because...because sometimes I worry and wonder if I'm really the only person who feels a certain sad, uncomfortable, permanently itchy way about the overwhelmingly uniform, unsatisfying way relationships between the opposite sex are portrayed by popular culture and maladjusted assholes (of both gender). And other people, mostly in AskMefi (WCityMike comes to mind), have reaffirmed my hope I'm not the only one who thinks of them differently than the one dimensional pathetic combative way they're portrayed usually by how they response to specific hypothetical situations. But Pastabagel's comment was a straight-up encapsulation of all the frustration and sadness I've felt--he said something clearly I didn't have the words for. I think about that comment often; it comes back to me and I smile.

And of course, old-school "We have cameras." Of course of course.
posted by ifjuly at 3:30 PM on August 18, 2008 [5 favorites]

Thanks, team lowkey.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:34 PM on August 18, 2008

Oh, and burnmp3s' comment in the "is recent past meetups redundant?" thread is probably my all-time favorite MeTa comment:

I think we should also have a "Recent Pluperfect Meetups" page, for meetups that recently had been going to have happened.

Man. Cracks me up every time.
posted by ORthey at 3:57 PM on August 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Wow, as if the juxtaposition between the restaurant dialogue & the nerdy boob grabbing diatribe wasn't enough, both were written by Pastabagel.

Where is the love of romance? Where is the passion? Don't you want to have the chance to be charming, to be charismatic? Don't you want to connect with someone on so deep a level that they make themselves vulnerable to you? Don't you want to do the same? Don't you want to look into someone else's eyes and explore the unfathomable mystery you find there?


F: Boring! You never talk. Can't we have a normal conversation? About anything? Just tell me what's on your mind now?

M: Right now? Okay. See those women at that table?

F: Yes...

M: Do you think I could bang them all at once?

F: What?!

M: I don't mean do you think its physically possible-

F: What?!

M: I mean, do you think there's a social context that I could construct where those four women would happily participate in a 4-on-1 situation with me. Because they're friends and maybe it would get weird for them. So I'd have to bang them all in a way that wasn't weird. Maybe if I called it a party, or if I nailed them in turns-

F: What?!

M: I could be fair, you know, start with the shortest one or the thinnest and work may through them systematically. So no one's feelings get hurt. My boss is a fucking asshole, by the way.

Kinda reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, along the lines of "the sign of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two completely opposing thoughts, and still retain the ability to function" (F Scott Fitzgerald)
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:28 PM on August 18, 2008

Actually, Pastabagel's most popular comments may be the most entertaining (and thought-provoking) page on MetaFilter.

Um, no offense to all the other talented, witty and sage persons here, though.
posted by yhbc at 4:54 PM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

My favorite comment was actually an AskMe that was apparently never answered satisfactorily.

I wish that andreinla could translate virtually all literature for me.

MacDuff: I was delivered by C-Section, biotch! Stab!

Richard Cory: Aw, fuck it. Blam.

Lenny: I see it, George!
George: Kabow!

Egon: Cross the streams?
All: No way!
Egon: Way.
Stanz: Total protonic reversal!
All: Bzzt!

Jesus: Ow!

Estragon: Um... ???
posted by stubby phillips at 5:01 PM on August 18, 2008 [7 favorites]

Greg Nog's cast idea, which is probably not the most worthy, but which is all I can focus on right now without staring, my heart astray, into the blinding corona of his brilliance.
posted by cowbellemoo at 5:55 PM on August 18, 2008

"Good gracious, if you ask her about John Ruskin she whips out a copy of Turner's Battle of Trafalgar, does a shit on it, and screams "THE ENGLISH SCHOOL OF PAINTING IS DEAD". There's something very wrong about that." - PinkStainlessTail
(Disappointingly, Ms. Dewey does not do this, but I so wish she did).
posted by tellurian at 7:17 PM on August 18, 2008

Um, no offense to all the other talented, witty and sage persons here, though.


Wait... I'm neither talented nor witty. Nevermind.

Secretly, I am Sage, however. Good sweet fucking dicknuts am I sage...
posted by Navelgazer at 7:18 PM on August 18, 2008

It would be best if we used user names when describing comments, so that everyone Apple/Ctrl F-ing in this thread could get disappointed more easily.
posted by desuetude at 7:34 PM on August 18, 2008 [8 favorites]

There are so many in the past that I never favorited that I can't seem to dig up from memory, alas. However, in my list of favorited comments are Jessamyn's gentle and beautifully worded remonstrance to dame about how askme works and my favorite joke post on mefi, by dame.
posted by Lynsey at 7:47 PM on August 18, 2008

It would be best if we used user names when describing comments, so that everyone Apple/Ctrl F-ing in this thread could get disappointed more easily.

Oh, but I'm using a greasemonkey script that replaces everybody else's username with my own, making this the most gratifying thread ever.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:54 PM on August 18, 2008 [3 favorites]

It would be best if we used user names when describing comments, so that everyone Apple/Ctrl F-ing in this thread could get disappointed more easily.

See the part where I included PC users? Heh! Shameless pandering!
posted by desuetude at 8:24 PM on August 18, 2008

I thought that this was a really excellent explanation of why favorites are cool.

Excerpt: The trouble is, though, that when dealing with this sort of facelessness and anonymity, it's very difficult to feel a part of the community at times. You can recognize names, but with no idea if anyone knows your own, and for a certain type of personality it can feel like you're always addressing the cool kids' table, waiting to be acknowledged. While they may not have been intended for this, favorites are great as a sort of "high five," letting you know that we're all friends here and that you're part of the gang. Considering the level of snark in most of the threads, it's a nice thing to have. It lets you know who has similar interests and senses of humor, and lets you act supportive to people who are willing to be a little more soul-bearing on account of getting some unobtrusive positive feedback for their efforts.
posted by brevator at 8:33 PM on August 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Awww... brevator...

thank you
posted by Navelgazer at 9:00 PM on August 18, 2008

I miss amberglow and dame and naxosaxur. :(

This thread is great, I've maxed out my favorites two days in a row.
posted by schyler523 at 9:39 PM on August 18, 2008

Near as I can tell dame is still around and participating, albeit with less frequency.
Seconding the amberglow-missing.
Naxosaxur I'm not really familiar with, beyond the slight irritation I experience every time I see the username and realize it is not dinosaur-related.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:45 PM on August 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

I don't have time to narcissistically read the whole thread and see if anyone has mentioned any of MY comments as being their favorite - I'll have to wait and do that *after* work.

One of my favorites is a nice sum-up of the gender disparity on The Filter by jessamyn:


posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 10:00 AM on December 14, 2007

And also, this nice description of Minnesota by Astro Zombie. (I'm not *from* Minnesota, but my family is and this made me laugh so hard, I snorted a little.)

The unofficial state motto of Minnesota is:

"I'm thinking of heading up to the cabin this weekend, but I got to get them durned snow tires on, and, you know, that's a pain. But then, the pipes gotta be checked, and I already went and bought the ice fishing house, so, you know, I might as well get some use out of it, and, anyway, Doris says if I can catch some crappie she can make a nice beer batter recipe from it, and she makes that good green salad, you know. So I think maybe I'm gonna go, but we'll have to see what Paul Douglas says the weather's gonna be like, because, man, them 10-below days will cut right through you, although it might not be a bad idea if the weather's really cold to take the car out anyways, to make sure the battery is charged, and, if I'm gonna be on them roads anyway, I might as well go up to the cabin. So I guess I'll be getting to them snow tires."

Believe it or not, this actually is a threat.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:44 PM on January 3
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:08 AM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Zombies in San Francisco by prinado.
I love reading Mutant's economic posts, particularly when he gets personal.
Pastabagel's recent fantastic one-two punch.
Faze speaketh the truth.
My favorite ND¢ song of all time: AAAAHHH APPLES AGGRRGGGHH
Survive in the Middle Ages Text Adventure by Flunkie.
Orthogonality, fighting the good fight.
I fucking liked Purephase's comment about how he fucking loves cake.
Favorite comment from the Kaycee thread.
Still laugh at hydophonic's helpful advice.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:34 AM on August 19, 2008

Ooh. Almost forgot this parable by Jessamyn. (Also, searching for this comment reveals that Jessamyn talks about cookies a lot. It seems important for me to flag this.)
posted by Jofus at 5:10 AM on August 19, 2008

My failure to appear in this thread only enhances my reputation as MeFi's premiere underground comedian.
posted by Eideteker at 6:17 AM on August 19, 2008

This is my favorite favorite.
posted by bluefly at 6:23 AM on August 19, 2008

Eideteker, I totally love that thing you said about that guy that one time.
posted by Mister_A at 7:05 AM on August 19, 2008

This comment by loquacious is a lost gem. I spent a long afternoon trying to find it based on a vague memory just so I could favorite it.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 7:09 AM on August 19, 2008

Also, for a brief period yesterday, my favorite count stood at 1337. That was pretty awesome.
posted by Eideteker at 7:53 AM on August 19, 2008

I love Telf's husband and wife commercial so much that I want to buy whatever amazing product it advertises.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:05 AM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

I am not going to get much work done today because I am laughing so hard I am crying, here.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 8:14 AM on August 19, 2008

Eideteker: "Also, for a brief period yesterday, my favorite count stood at 1337. That was pretty awesome."

I just un-favorited this comment. You're welcome.
posted by Plutor at 9:20 AM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

I love Miko's best way to break up with someone.

My favorite comment from the "open source boob project" thread.

Ian A.T.'s post-apocalyptic view of what a queuing system for AskMeFi questions might be like.

I too love a good "footprints" reference.

Tricking McDonald's into telling you what's in their hamburgers.

And I still really want this site to happen.
posted by chowflap at 9:24 AM on August 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

All time favorite description of a sexual practice: where maybe cheetos normally go.

Vronsky Delivers A Remarkable Insult.
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 10:07 AM on August 19, 2008

And I still really want this site to happen.

me too. that is still the best idea for anything ever.
posted by shmegegge at 10:09 AM on August 19, 2008

Yeah I still think about that to this day and cry because it doesn't exist. Every time I hear about a conflict of any kind happening anywhere in the world I think "This wouldn't be happening if these people could just sing together over the internet!" That website not existing is costing so many lives.
posted by ND¢ at 10:21 AM on August 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

But you said nobody steal this idea! We're waiting for you!
posted by spec80 at 10:34 AM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

It was the fourth FPP about mysterious severed feet washing up in British Columbia. All possible reactions, it seemed, had been exhausted. And then: the magic of inspirational poetry.
posted by kittyprecious at 11:31 AM on August 19, 2008

By "nobody steal this idea" I didn't mean I was the only one who could do it. I just meant someone else should build it and give me all the money from it.
posted by ND¢ at 12:59 PM on August 19, 2008

Well that seems perfectly reasonable. It sounds like it is straight from the Zooomr marketing department as their preferred next phase, in fact.
posted by Brockles at 1:07 PM on August 19, 2008

I love shit like this from brain_drain, and this from pollomacho, and this from Riki tiki, and this perfect misanthropic inanity from aramaic. There are fantastic defusing wits here.

And putdowns like this one from TAFKAhermitosis.

Just about anything written by the Divine_Wino.

No one's mentioned this gem from DaShiv.

In the imagined scene department, I loved this from fandango_matt.

Looking through my favorites, I recall matteo slaying me with this in the Oprah/C. McCarthy thread.

Astro Zombie's MN comment, sure, but I, for obvious reasons, loved this one.

And for acidity mixed with knowledge, I'm a big felix betachat fan.
posted by kosem at 1:32 PM on August 19, 2008

I started posting here because of a really great comment by Paphnuty, but I can't find it anywhere on the site with the search :(
posted by jtron at 5:09 PM on August 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

Late to the party as always, but I'd been saving these from a while back (apologies if any have already been mentioned)...

The cheesy music straight out of an adult-diaper ad is a nice touch at the end...
posted by Robot Johnny at 2:03 PM CST on June 25 [!]

While it's refreshing to see arguments for drug legalization coming from the right, I would never want to be in the same room as a stoned William F. Buckley.
posted by varmint at 1:30 AM CST on July 6

...Now, excuse me, will you let me through so I can microwave my burrito?
posted by dodgygeezer at 7:37 AM CST on July 11

I acknowledge freely I've been lied to. I acknowledge freely that my support of the war was mistaken. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have supported the war.

not good enough. you willfully, ignorantly, unquestioningly gobbled up the vomitus of deception, boisterously and gleefully supported the deaths of tens of thousands, and now grasp righteously at straws you pray will keep your pathetic, propoganda-soaked cranium above the effluent. fucker.
posted by quonsar at 9:45 AM CST on July 20

And once again the question has to be asked: what incredible incompetence squandered the incredible post-9/11 goodwill toward America of practically the entire world?
posted by fold_and_mutilate at 2:30 AM CST on July 24

Questioningly tolls the bellweather of silence.
posted by troutfishing at 12:35 AM CST on August 2

Indeed, I would lobby you that Matt's pedestal is rock hard.

Wouldn't that make Matt's pedestal a herm?

posted by WolfDaddy at 10:59 AM PST on August 4

I expect still the I gave in which be able customize the price... of another way I followed austere
posted by goliche at 8:02 PM PST on October 31

psmealey - Interesting. The CBS public scorecard gives Bush C's for both content and delivery, while Kerry gets a B+ for content and an A- for delivery.

All of CBS's three pundits give Bush far more favorable marks than do the CBS public.

The TV punditocracy is fatally compromised, and it's notable that even the Blogoshpere's conservatives have opinions on this debate which seem to sync up more closely with the public view.

Meanwhile, the TV pundits are drifting lazily away from reality - somewhere tending bar and shining shoes on a yacht called "Fellatio to Power lll"
posted by troutfishing at 8:58 AM CST on October 1 [!]

Oh relax, it's just me reloading like a rat on crack.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:23 AM PST on December 2

I heard Donald Trump is really just a bunch of cats taped together.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 2:20 PM CST on December 5

The link works for me, you irrational citrus! (In response to a comment by LimePi)
posted by cortex at 12:27 PM CST on November 23

everyone calm down and put on your gorilla suits.
posted by moonbird at 8:37 PM CST on December 20

fandangyou matt! now my pants are tight.

And my fenriqs are tingling.
posted by taz at 1:09 PM PST on January 21

I'm very popular in Papua New Guinea, myself. "You're our David Hasselhoff," they tell me, though I can barely hear them over the excited shouts of the gathered crowd.
posted by cortex at 12:06 PM PST on March 10 [!]

My God's breath smells like God-food.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:57 AM CST on March 26 [!]

Personally, I'm just waiting to see how this thread will end, really. I hope it's with pictures of gazelles. I like animals.
posted by koeselitz at 5:08 PM CST on April 20 [!]

who is the fish in my pants, really?
posted by quonsar at 3:11 PM CST on May 11

I hate kids just as much as anyone, but that doesn't mean they're not right sometimes

Oh really? Well I've only got two words for you: go fuck yourself.

Right ... that's actually three words. So try these two words on for size: bugfucker. And by "bugfucker" I mean YOU.

OK - "you" is obviously only one word, not two. But the point here is that my two words are "bugfucker = you".

I mean, that's not just two words, obviously there's a mathematical symbol in there as well. Any idiot can see that. But I never said I had ONLY two words for you, did I?

OK, I did say that. I can see that, I recognise that. OK. But, look, if I had to restrict myself to two words, I think those words would be "go and get fucked".

Which is four words. I know that. I can count that, OK? I don't need you going on about this all the fucking time because I can just count up those words and obviously there are four words there. And I guess that means that I have quite a few words for you, asshole.

OK, "asshole" is just one word and that's not quite a few words, that's just one.

Look, I don't really have a lot of time to spend counting out fucking words, OK? I'm pretty fucking busy here actually. It's not like I go into a cafe or something and say "five words, baby: I want a coffee".

Which is actually four words, not five, but maybe I'd say "please" on the end and that would be five.

But I'm not going to say "please" on the end of my two words to you, because that would be polite, and the point of my two words is that they're pretty fucking rude words, so you just think about that.

I mean, don't think about the word "that", "that" is only one word and it doesn't make sense. I'm not just coming up to you and saying "THAT!" and then running away and hiding in a bush or something - that would just be COMPLETELY FUCKING CRAZY. No, what I'm doing here, and I think it's pretty simple actually, I mean it's so fucking simple that I don't even understand why I have to go on about it all the fucking time, so what I'm doing is that I'm coming up to you and I'm saying TWO WORDS. And the thing about those two words is that they form a complete sentence with nouns AND verbs. Or maybe its just one verb phrase or something. Anyway - that two-word sentence is this: just get fucked.

So just fucking think about those two words.

Three words.

posted by the quidnunc kid at 9:52 AM CST on August 12 [!]

posted by BeerGrin at 3:00 PM CST on August 18 [!]

posted by Optimus Chyme at 4:52 PM CST on September 12 [!]

I just want to know who'se gonna come in heah an bust up this chiffarobe???
posted by stenseng at 1:23 PM CST on September 29 [!]

first of all, don't patronize me, punk, you seem to think you're king motherfuckin' shit because you remember the cold war. Wow gosh, what are you, thirty years old?
we had nukes because the russkies did, okey doke, so what's the excuse now? Now it's just 'assured destruction'? That fills me with confidence. Sounds great, i'm backing that.
You want to review, let's review:
America 2005: religion: state-funded. Freedom of speech: sure, if you can afford your own TV station. Otherwise: prepare to be branded a traitor. Voting: You can, but if you use a machine or are black, prepare for thousands of votes to be lost with no paper trail. What's on tv?: Speeches and funerals for our esteemed leaders. Reagan, okay? Reagan.
so about Europe: two world wars in one century, think about it, maybe they want peace. Maybe they have no more young men to kill. I'll bet you think the US won WWII aaall by ourselves. And that Reagan defeated communism. Shit, boy, communism defeated itself. Helped out by rock music and hollywood. It sure as fuck wasn't the nukes.
'someone has to pay for the guns that keep fascism at bay.'
Well aren't you the ruff tuff creampuff? Did you get that off a t-shirt or out of Soldier of Fortune magazine? jesus i don't know why i bother.
posted by Miles Long at 5:46 PM CST on October 3 [!]

What is going to happen to someone who accidentally sees the word "Fuck?"
posted by dial-tone at 2:47 PM CST on October 11 [!]

$10^10^10^10 to anyone who can prove they exist. (You have to see it to appreciate it.)
posted by delmoi at 5:24 PM CST on October 18 [!]

teh crab vs teh pipe
pipe always wins

saw just watches
posted by jmccorm at 2:52 PM CST on November 2 [!]

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily
It is awfully good ketchup, yes.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:34 AM CST on November 29 [!]

God can't lie?

Man, I think that contradicts the omnipotence thing more than the whole rock conundrum. I don't think I can get behind an all-powerful being who can't even keep up with James Frey.

Is this really canonical? God can't even say "Slim Jims are delicious"? I'd do a Bible search for the verses that support this, but I wouldn't know where to start. The Book of Impediments?
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 8:57 PM CST on January 13

Have I.
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:04 PM CST on February 24 [!]
posted by jaronson at 5:14 PM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

In looking through my many favorites, I have just noticed that I think Pastabagel is fucking awesome. As proof, here are Pastabagel's top 10 tags:

Top 10 Tags on MeFi: oil (2) psychiatrist (2) china (1) children (1) chicken (1) cheney (1) buckethead (1) bonds (1) bipolar (1) batshitinsane (1)

Kickass! I start the stalking now.
posted by theredpen at 5:30 PM on August 19, 2008

Chicken Cheney Buckethead would be a pretty good name for a band, too.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:46 PM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is the greatest misguided callout ever. On reflection, meatbomb might have been fucking with us all. Still funny though.
posted by HITLERTRON 5000 at 5:57 PM on August 19, 2008

Although many things said around here have made me think, I am most a sucker for the ones that made me laugh out loud...

Cortex puts it all together



Abiezer closes the book on "You know who else..."
posted by nanojath at 6:01 PM on August 19, 2008

On reflection, meatbomb might have been fucking with us all.

For future reference, meatbomb is always fucking with us all.
posted by nanojath at 6:03 PM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Well clearly. But sometimes he does it on purpose.
posted by HITLERTRON 5000 at 6:04 PM on August 19, 2008

Hey! What happened to my gold star?
posted by Stan Chin at 7:20 PM on August 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

Ambrosia Voyeur has great hopes for cortex's Big Big Question, but shmegegge gently points out to be careful what you wish for.

A perfectly logical answer as to the cause of a strange noise emanating from a woman. BTW this Askme could do with the Resolved tag.

arcticwoman's spot-on analysis of "Ground Beef" Pattie's. And in the same thread how grapefruitmoon is troubled to this day by the implications of the misuse of quotation marks by one of her colleagues.
posted by ponystyle at 9:43 PM on August 19, 2008

Pastabagel's top 10 tags on MeFi:
There's gotta be a Mad Libs to which these words are best suited.
posted by ericb at 9:52 PM on August 19, 2008

I've looked for it before but something happened on Meta and instead of 'WHAT. THE FUCK. MATT' they said:


That and some comment about "Little Orphan Annie vs The Punisher."
posted by ao4047 at 11:26 PM on August 19, 2008

Reading this thread has been the most vicious Metafilter-related time sink ever. It's also depressing. For some of us. I mean, what do you do with the fact that nothing you've said is anyone's "all time favorite"? It's like, what if you're not anyone's greatest fuck ever? You never know, you know. I mean, she might say you are, but really, what else is she going to say? "Yeah, you're, like, four-five, but don't feel bad, it's still, like, totally acceptable." I hadn't even seen that personal popular favorites category before, and all it's done is confirm that the most popular thing I ever wrote was to tell some guy that his cat was a dick.
posted by nanojath at 12:15 AM on August 20, 2008

Wow. I had totally forgotten about the nurse/quotation marks nonsense. That really was irritating. And puzzling.

and hooray! someone loves me! i feel validated! life is worth living!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:26 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

that the most popular thing I ever wrote was to tell some guy that his cat was a dick.

Ahem. That was my cat. So, to make things even worse, you wrote to tell some GIRL that her cat was a dick.

Sorry to harsh your mellow.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:28 AM on August 20, 2008

This one liner by Srboisvert.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 7:25 AM on August 20, 2008

A thousand pardons, Ms "grapefruitmoon." Incidentally, your "cat" is a dick.
posted by nanojath at 7:27 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

ao4047: "I've looked for it before but something happened on Meta and instead of 'WHAT. THE FUCK. MATT' they said:


Hildago, I think in response to "I've spent the past two days at an adaptive path seminar"
posted by Plutor at 9:42 AM on August 20, 2008

Man, I totally loved that one comment of nanojath's where he told someone that their cat was a dick.
posted by quin at 9:58 AM on August 20, 2008

Hey! Do you guys remember when nanojath said grapefruitmoon's cat --

Oh, wait. Never mind.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:08 AM on August 20, 2008

I recently went back and chuckled at true's seemingly innocuous question about dry ice in the Chicago area.

The answer is gold.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 2:16 PM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Thank you," nanojath. "Apology" accepted.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:43 PM on August 20, 2008

posted by cortex (staff) at 6:59 AM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is amazing. I never figured there would be this many comments. I am glad I started this. I've enjoyed reading a lot of these, and I made the sidebar!

The Bond titles were great.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:31 AM on August 21, 2008

Coming late to the party, but button up, because I'm posting way too much:

allkindsoftime's smackdown re: poverty in Africa.

maxwelton's alternate-universe Mefi comment.

Bromius' MAD fold-in-style comment.

fandango_matt's skewering of sacred Mefi cows.

BitterOldPunk's "I just want to make passionate love with all you wonderful people. The urge arose when cortex used the word 'heteronormative'. Oh my god those sweet ... six ... syllables."

thehmsbeagle's "Huzzah, most of the women said. Will there be uniforms? There will be uniforms, I said. Emasculating ones. Are you in?"

brain_drain's "This is really sort of insensitive and offensheeheeheeheehee"

Sparx's list of "It's an oversimplification - but it's got SARCASTIC CAPS!" plots.

and hosted from Uranus: "Don't forget, you are always on our minds in full pirate regalia."

klangklangston: "Look, Anal Sex Month is whatever month you think your girlfriend will believe is Anal Sex Month."

cortex: "Teens across the nation have been hacking internet websites to create cyberlinks to—and you're not going to believe this—Rick Astley. Parents are obviously concerned, but even more frightening is the suggestion by some that these so-called "rick roles" are a training ground. For terror. Carson?"

Avenger: "One day, when the President (any President!) declares martial law, outlaws dissent and jails the opposition in Congress, somebody will make an FPP about it here on the Blue, and somebody, somebody will say 'Meh. grind grind grind. Flagged.' Flag the goddamn President, please."

Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese: "I love to hear about when extremely wealthy heiresses also turn out to be sexy and funny and smart and independently successful. It's so nice when it works out like that for them."

spiderwire: "So, would an 18-day gap in the emails be too obvious of a Watergate reference?" "Wait, wait, here's a good one: the Vice President accidentally shoots his best friend in the face, then the friend apologizes to him and his family." "What? That doesn't even make any sense." "It's absurdist humor!" "Hey, let's put one of the Iran-Contra guys in charge of the Homeland Security Agency."

loquacious: "Oh sweet holiest of shits! CabalCabal!! Activate Emergency Counter-Contingency Plan Atlas Seven Delta Mk. 5436, vector codes, SNARK, ALIAS and STONEBURNER. You have insertion, window and all-clear for MAX Q, MAX V and DELTA V. This is not a drill. Your Authorization Override Triad Code is PANCAKE, BUNNY and QUONSAR. Repeat: NOT A DRILL. All tacnet subsystems network-wide are ARMED, alive and lively. Keep your fingers off those molly-guards, they're hot. This one's for real."

loquacious: "You're doing just fine. Now swear a lot more and use colorfully inventive metaphors for incredibly offensive concepts. Consider suggesting that their genetics are somehow malformed or damage. Set up a straw man and take a napalm flamethrower to it, but avoid using direct ad hominems ... " (much more!)

The Worst. Pun. Ever. Seen. On Mefi.


hal9k: "People, I think you're overreacting. This is normal and in most cases quite healthy for the host as these so called "parasites" tend to feast okay, its posting from the other side of the brain but will be done soon on dead tissue and yucky things your body doesn't need won't let me sleep. Should see the crap they make me eat anyway. I think I read somewhere that there learned AJAX. Won't be long now. They'll discard are more foreign organ alad at Olive Gard isms in the body than indigenous. I, for one, welcome my little "housekeepers."oming back. Please kill m"

Not so much Jessamyn's ghost comment but Stavros the Wonder Chicken's immediate one-word reaction to it cracks me up.

Learning what eponysterical! meant.

Blues Brothers Shakespeare-ified by Pallas Athena.

Astro Zombie: "This sends a bad precedent for the next time an internet pornographer dies unexpectedly. There are so few of them, and they generally die in a predicatable, well-scheduled fashion, generally at the rate of one ever eight months, like clockwork, generally from side-effects of carpal tunnel syndrome. But if one were to die tomorrow, out of sequence, after falling from a helicopted while attempting to snap a picture of Cameron Diaz's cleavage, only to tumble into a Real Doll factory and get suffocated under a stack of silicon breasts ... well, I just don't know if I would be comfortable linking to that story now."

digaman: "Did him. Nice guy really, despite the a-hole rep. Sulu too, who has since come out. Nurse Chapel wasn't bad, but Gene 'Master of the Universe' got all alpha-male territorial on me. Chekhov was a cute lil' cub in those days -- I'd have him talk dirty to me in Russian. Uhura, damn, she looked good once I got that weird thingie out of her ear. Spock = hung, but how you say in Vulcan, cold fish? And that beard was an intergalactic disaster. Mudd's women? They had wine, incense, and candles, it was such a freaky scene. The Horta was a drag even for chub-lovers -- its 'sweat' ate right through my Egyptian cotton pillowcases. The TNG cast was hotter in general -- Picard broke my heart just running on impulse -- but Riker? Hungry bottom for days. Whorf? I'm still limping. And that holographic doctor -- no thanks, or rather, never again; a pissy ka-ween in any galaxy. As for Wesley... sometimes those little femmes can surprise you. Raow."

LobsterMitten's dad's old-manners-of-the-wealthy restaurant manners.

silence: "I opened up SimpleText and typed 'C:' and handed the machine back to her. 'Ah, thank you sir. You can be on your way.'"

A favorite West Wing scene is metafilterized by Effigy2000.

DaShiv's amazingness. And he photographs brilliantly too. It's just not fair to have so much awesomeness.

Decani wrote the most amazingly affirming thing I ever read.

Ian A.T., who makes 25% of his income from a mentalist act, tells us about the different kinds of hypnotism.

The temptation of the blue. RUN! RUN AWAY!

Brilliant insight from bingo on fat perception: "To most thin people, you are either fat, or not fat. They don't have a sense of scale the way that fat people do. Sure, they are technically capable of telling the difference, but it's like a switch that they turn off." (more there)

bubukaba: "So I opened the link in a new tab, got a little distracted, went back to working for a second, came back, saw Google News which I check all the time, assumed I'd opened it earlier but hadn't read the headlines yet, got all excited about the Tibet/China thing, refreshed MeFi a couple of times waiting for someone to make a newsfilter post about it, and then went back to the original link and realized exactly what I was looking at. That was kind of depressing."

Brilliant insight from nanojath on fear.

Cowbellemoo on Kucinich reading aloud for hours his impeachment charges to an empty chamber: "That little man will go home tonight, sweaty and hoarse, and have fantastic sex with his hot hot wife. I am so proud of him."

Mister_A: "My, you are a brave little toaster."

"¡Díselo a mi brillante culo metálico!"

Jessamyn: "Love is not sex. Love is not companionship. Love is not medicine. Love is not only to/from The One. Love goes out as well as in."

Mr_Zero quotes my favorite George Carlin line: "Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man — living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."

Cortex and his lofi mefi wifi hifi scifi.

Optovox's interesting insight and personal experience with the infamous Time O.J. Simpson cover.

hermitosis' absolutely amazingly cool thing that twists the whole meaning of the Book of Job around.

Astro Zombie and Pixar.

For me, Skylar nails it: "Why are men paying women these physical compliments? And why do men not tend to receive very many of them? Here's one theory: sometimes when a man pays a woman a compliment it is his clumsy way of coming on to her. Even women who are not at the extreme of beauty will receive such a come-on at least once a week. So they don't tend to pay men many compliments because, deep down, they know the compliment is a fairly valueless currency in terms of attraction. For this very reason, using a compliment has enormous shock-and-awe factor to a man. To many men it is so rare to receive a compliment that they will probably be genuinely grateful... and they may also interpret it as a come-on."

Stavros again: "Barack Obama could eat babies on stage and he'd still be the best goddamn hope you silly bastards have, and by extension, the best hope for the rest of us as well. Stop looking for heroes, and stop flying into hysterical tizzies when your fantasy-land Defenders of Truth and Justice show they are less perfect than you'd like them to be. Grow the hell up, vote for the man, and then, unlike what you and your media have done for the past seven years, don't say 'job done' and wait for the next election to get exercised about what's happening to your country."

Yoink makes what I believe to be a perfectly accurate assumption about how Mefi would have treated various moments in President Gore's term.

I was a bit miffed at people in the Tony Snow thread and thought MegoSteve nailed it when he said: "For all the love Metafilter showed Fred Rogers in his obituary thread, it's obvious reading the comments here that many of you haven't absorbed the lessons he taught."

mystyk's tale of running headfirst into a zero tolerance policy thanks to a bully using said policy as an ingenius weapon.

Can Rocket88's pony request be a favorite comment if it's a brilliant enough pony? I think so.

Eekacat: "Wow, what kismet! My giant misshapen penis smells like rotting flesh too!"

Choose Your Own Ask Metafilter Adventure.

"I can still see their faces."

Beautiful writing from Jofus: "That, i think is where those notes come from. A rational mind raging against the dying of the light, and all that. It's what Men do. 'There's a lot to sort out,' he appears to be thinking, 'and my memory is not what it once was. I shall enumerate the problems of the world on this pad. Then we will be getting somewhere. Then we shall see who is the boss.'"

Baby_Balrog, from the 'praying at the pump' thread: "God does not bless you with wealth. God may, if you are lucky, bless you with a cross. And if you live into Christ, perhaps you will someday walk with the poorest amongst you and serve Christ. But do not say that it is the opinion of the poor Christians that they have been blessed with their poverty. And please be assured that as God watches Rome strip them of their basic needs and leave them to wade through raw sewage, God is not pleased. Rather, God is the first to weep."

leibniz's pessimistic life advice versus goodnewsfortheinsane's optimistic life advice.

Chuffy's was, I think, the best one-liner of this bunch. Because it had the stealth factor working for it. It was, for me, *thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink* OHH! HA!

Malor's advice on writing a FPP and stunt posting.

Powerful Religious Baby: "If you really want to engage these people, do research on their positions. Learn what you can about their beliefs. Try to understand the cultural context in which these beliefs exist. Then, as much as you can, explore the weaknesses and inconsistencies in their argument as it actually stands."

jeanmari's parents and Jon Stewart.

paulsc often nails it. Such as he did on men's emotional range.
posted by WCityMike at 8:46 AM on August 21, 2008 [7 favorites]

Cortex and his lofi mefi wifi hifi scifi.

Sir, there is something uniquely gratifying about having a favorite comment that is also otherwise unloved.

*punnish rhyming-game fistbump*
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:26 AM on August 21, 2008

Too much good stuff here, just too much, I think my head asplode.

I was hoping to brighten my day a bit by seeing someone link one of my comments, but then realized that I soooo not worthy of this accolade. Truly I am mingling with greatness here and will relish the association, strenuous as it is, for years to come.

This thread is all like: "The internet sucks, but omfg Mefi makes it totally worth it."

Keep up the good work.
posted by Vindaloo at 4:51 AM on August 22, 2008

Mutter… mutter… paulsc often generalizes based on relationship patterns of prior generations that, while appealing to a common narrative, are really deranged when examined closely…
posted by klangklangston at 9:10 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

But aside from that, wow, what a huge list of great comments.
posted by klangklangston at 9:12 AM on August 22, 2008

Among all these wonderful comments, these oneliners make me laugh (most seem to come from metatalk):

fleetmouse: I want a giant insane Camille Paglia robot to come in here and just start kicking the shit out of people.
Burhanistan: Why does the homeless guy camped by the intersection near my office use spoken words with me when he knows that we've already established a telepathic link?.
The Straightener: Zombie Jesus wants you to turn the other cheek SO HE CAN FINISH EATING YOUR FACE.
klangklangston: Don't you have a Noam Chomsky lecture to complain about despite not attending?
fandango_matt: Why did Jesus die on the cross? He forgot the safeword.

Most of my fav.s are insightful comments expressing in words something I've struggled to or presented a way of thinking about something that I hadn't thought of and I love love LOVE that about metafilter. Thanks for that.
posted by dog food sugar at 8:12 PM on August 22, 2008

We have boxes.

(Read up-thread for context)
posted by wolftrouble at 8:47 AM on August 24, 2008

I'm coming in late but one my all time favorites is this offhand comment from sciurus about shmegegge:

shmegegge, I pronounce your name in my head the same way that Popeye laughs.

It's the comment that keeps on giving. Makes me laugh everytime I think of it.
posted by lysistrata at 1:57 PM on August 25, 2008

oh shit, I'd forgotten about that. that's amazing.
posted by shmegegge at 10:58 AM on August 26, 2008

I don't know whether I made the sidebar with my dork comment or if I'm just seeing my comment because of some clever coding skills, but either way, I am amped.

That said, tkchrist's footsie story brings a smile to my face every time I think about it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:25 AM on August 27, 2008

You are in fact on the sidebar, Joey Michaels; deservedly, in m'humble.
posted by cgc373 at 10:32 PM on August 29, 2008

The only reason I don't include my full name, Hyman Cockbag McGillicuddy, in my profile, is that immature people are all like "LOLMcGillicuddy".
- posted to MetaTalk by Mister_A at 10:35 AM on January 15, 2008
posted by edverb at 11:29 AM on August 30, 2008

Could there be a more perfectly sinister, Dickensian name for a giant HMO than "Kaiser Permanente"? Why not call it Rex Terror or Invincible King Evil?
- posted to MetaFilter by stammer at 2:57 AM on June 18, 2007
posted by edverb at 11:30 AM on August 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why not call it Rex Terror or Invincible King Evil?

Heh. That reminds me of a moment from the podcast where the Penny Arcade guys and Scott Kurtz are playing the new version of D&D. Gabe had never played a tabletop RPG before.

DM: What are you calling your mage?

Gabe: I'm calling him... Jim...Darkmagic.

Scott: Wait, you can't call your character Jim Darkmagic.

Gabe: Why not?

Scott: You might as well call him Chet Awesomelaser.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:58 PM on August 31, 2008

I just wanted to say that I'm enjoying, very much, the intelligence and personality here at MeFi. I hope to become a member with at least a little bit of same to contribute.

This is a nice primer for what goes, comes, and sticks on these forums.
If I can be so bold as to introduce myself to you, I would like to say:
Please don't take anything I say seriously from now on. That would be a shame, and therefore way too Western.

So, hello.
posted by rickwestra at 8:46 AM on September 1, 2008

Late to the party, but can't let Kindall's MetaTalk comment -- the comment that first enunciated, for me, what made Metafilter something special -- go unlinked.
posted by churl at 3:04 PM on September 1, 2008

Way, way late, but I still frequently bust a gut remembering melissa may's stellar "you might win a piglet" rant.
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:42 AM on September 4, 2008

Just remembered melissa may's remark: "That Yellow Card dude looks like something that Robert Plant would use to wipe the sweat off his ass before fucking a goat."
posted by cgc373 at 6:24 AM on September 10, 2008

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